Something that made me cry, and made me smile...

Well, I'm getting packed ready to go away tomorrow, and I've been playing with my new toy - a digital camera.

I'd been considering one for quite a while, and I've finally taken the plunge and bought one as part of a package with the matching printer. It's a Kodak, with 3.1 megapixels, and does as much as my big Olympus analogue camera, for a fraction of the size!

As I prepared this blog entry, I was listening to my normal radio station, when I heard a dedication to me, from this fella that I've started to see... It was a bit of an unusual choice, I will admit, but as soon as I heard the opening bars, I knew the song - it was Metallica - Nothing Else Matters.

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters


The message just said that he would miss me whilst I was away, and that I was to take care, and come back safe and well.

I will admit, the tears started escaping when I heard that, and as soon as the song was finished, I called him... He said that he'd been expecting me to call him, as he'd remembered that I have a habit of listening to the radio on a Sunday morning, and knew that my preferred station was Kerrang!


But he soon had me laughing, by telling me a joke... I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'd already had the joke e-mailed to me at work, so I've just copied the joke and posted it on my blog...

One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark".

Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being. Anything you want,after all you're the guv'"


But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time Noah, I don't want just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other".


"20 DECKS!" screams Noah "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"


"Yep, that's right, well. Sort of right. This time I want you to fill it up with fish", God answers.


"Fish?" queries Noah.


"Yep, fish. Well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!"


Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?"


"Check."


"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?"


"Check."


"And you want it full of Carp?"


"Check."


"Why?" Asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.


"Dunno," says God, "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark."


Guess I should call this entry quits - still got stuff to do around the house before the Grand Prix...

Back after my holiday.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

You want me to do what??

Miss a Grand Prix to go shopping? No chance.

That's what the 'phone call was about. The fella that's been making life bearable since I split up with my ex, wanted to take me shopping tomorrow.

I know this may sound surprising - a woman turning down a shopping trip, but unfortunately (or fortunately) for the fella concerned, there's the small matter of the French Grand Prix at Mangy-Cours to be dealt with.

Thankfully, he was really sweet about it, and said that he'd forgotten that the race was on, and if he'd realised, he would have asked me to go out with him today.

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters

That made me smile, and I told him that I appreciated the offer, but it would have to wait for a while, as the weekend I get back from Cornwall, I'm off to Silverstone for the British Grand Prix, and the following weekend? I'm hoping to be able to meet up with my daft friend, so I'll have to see what happens.

Not that I'm trying to avoid going shopping with him - far from it. It's just that life's a bit on the hectic side at the moment, and I'm finding it a bit tough to fit in all of my commitments to friends and family!


Time to call this entry quits, I've got bits and pieces to sort out on the computer...

Back tomorrow, if I get chance - otherwise it'll be round about the 11th of July, to allow for me to escape to Silverstone.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

So I dub thee unforgiven...

That's the way that I'm dealing with my ex. Ok - I know that it sounds like I'm being incredibly vindictive and nasty, but given the way I'm feeling, I feel entirely justified to react like this.

If I'd had my way, I would have spoken to him face to face, instead of showing the distinct lack of courage and splitting up with him in a 'phone call.

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

You labeled me
I'll label you
So I dub thee unforgiven

As for my holiday next week, I'm still going to Devon and Cornwall - but I'm traveling with Mum instead. After I'd split up with my ex, Mum made the suggestion that I still went, but that she came with me, as she said that it would be the best thing I could do - get away from the area for a few days, and try and get myself back to some semblance of normality.

Ok - I appreciate the thought - and the best bit (for me, anyway!) is the fact that we're going to go to the RHS garden at Rosemoor in Devon. (See http://www.rhs.org.uk/WhatsOn/gardens/rosemoor/index.asp)

That's something that I couldn't have done with my ex, as he wasn't that interested in gardening, despite agreeing to go to the Eden project with me (see http://www.edenproject.com/)

So, whatever else may have happened recently, I've got the better end of the deal - I'll be able to go and see things that I want to see - with the added bonus that Mum's a member of the RHS, so the admission will be free, and she can tell me about the plants that I don't recognise!

Suppose I should answer my 'phone before the damned thing drives me mad!

Back later.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Back to life...

Well, I seem to be getting back to some semblance of normality, but I admit that I'm still incredibly fragile.

All it takes is for someone to look sideway at me, and I'm in tears. Thankfully, there's been someone who's been a real tower of strength for me,and has gone out of his way to make sure that I'm ok, and has made sure that I'm being left alone when I need peace and quiet at work.

Outside of work, he's been great fun, and has spoilt me rotten - including taking me to see Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, followed by dinner!

And no - it's not my ex. This is the fella that I got to know whilst I was away, and our friendship has just gotten stronger because he's been a real rock for me to lean on/ fall apart on, and it looks like things may progress.

Obviously, I'm not going to say anymore than that, as the last thing I want to do is put the mockers on something that's making me so happy, so please bear with me.

Guess I should call it quits - I'm supposed to be working, not blogging!

Back when I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Into the fire

It’s over.

I don’t know what I’ll be doing abut Tuesday night – I get the feeling that I won’t be in a fit state to see anyone for quite a while.

I can’t type any more – I can barely see the keyboard for my tears.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Back from the hills…

And the trouble is, I’m almost sure of what my decision will be. I want to call it quits with my partner.

I know this sounds horrible, and that I’ll be judged on the fact that this has come about since I met someone last week, but if the truth be known, I’ve been thinking about calling it quits for a while, but never had the guts to do so.

I know that he’s going to be hurt, and will want answers, but the trouble is, the root cause of our trouble lies with the fact that we’re really too different for things to work.

He wants someone who’s the “stay at home and only go out with him” whereas I’m the one who enjoys spending time with friends, and spending a weekend with Flame and my friends in the Peak District, or the Cotswolds – depending on the mood that takes us all.

But how the hell do you put that into words? There are few occasions that I’m lost for words, as those people who know me can vouch for, but this is one of them.

Now all I’ve got to do is pick the time to tell him that I want out. I know there’s no such thing as a good time to tell someone that a relationship is over, but the longer I leave it, the more he’s likely to harbour hopes of us getting back together.

Damn. My ‘phone’s ringing.

Back later.

Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread

Back to base…

Well, I’m back in the office after being away for four days on the training course…

Ok – I’ve learnt a hell of a lot, and hopefully will be able to give the guys in the field the back-up they deserve. But, being away has really caused me problems with my personal life…

It boils down to the fact that I became close to someone whilst I was away, and this person has been making me laugh, and treating me like I was a real princess.

I know that being away from my normal environment may well have slapped the rose-tinted glasses on, but all it has done is make me wonder if I’m doing the right thing.

Simply because after I posted the last entry before I went away, my partner and I had a real hum-dinger of a row. It boiled down to the fact that he didn’t want me going, and said that he felt I was putting my job before our relationship, and that I’d been using a variety of excuses to avoid spending any time with him.

I will admit, that was like waving a red-rag to a bull, and I told him exactly what I thought of him. Ok – probably not the best thing I could have done, but it cleared the air between us – even if things are still on the frosty side between us…

Hmm. Not quite the right expression. Frosty is an understatement. Our relationship would make the Antarctic look like the Bahamas at the moment!

The worst part is, since I’ve been back we’ve not spoken. As far as I know, we’re still going to the Grand Prix together, but I will admit to being somewhat apprehensive about going to the West Country with him…

With regards to this other person, until I know what the hell I want to do, we’ve agreed to stay friends, and I’ll avoid rubbing my partner’s nose in the fact that I’m really happy when I’m with this fella.

I mean, we sat chatting on Wednesday night, like we’d known each other all of our lives, and it turned out that we share a similar sense of humour, and a similar outlook on life.

I’ve agreed to meet him on Tuesday night, to go and see a film, and then have dinner with him – as friends. I know that most people reading this will be thinking – yeah right. As if it’ll stop there.

Ok – I admit it is a somewhat underhanded way of dealing with my partner, but if I can get my head in some semblance of order this weekend, I’ll be able to sort things out – I hope.

And what’s the best way for me to do that? Simple. Leave my damned ‘phone at home, and buzz off to the Peak District for a riding weekend with Rachel and the two horses…

Just me, my friend and the horses – I don’t know of a better way to clear my head of an emotional fog – and hopefully have a better idea of what I want to do about this situation…

Suppose I’d better get on with some w*rk, instead of blogging…

Back later if I get chance, otherwise it will be Sunday night before I put the next update on my blog…

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Talk about shooting youself in the foot...

And that's just what the F1 circus has managed to do to itself, by running the farce that is the USA Grand Prix. Ok - I agree with the principal that the drivers shouldn't race if there are safety concerns, but surely there could have been some kind of agreement reached that meant the entire field started the race - and not just the Bridgestone runners.

But, all this has done is kill off Formula 1 in America - as no-one is going to risk going to the race next year (if they even hold a race at Indianapolis), thus leaving the American public with CART and Indy-racing.

Don't get me wrong - I enjoy both types of racing, but if it came to a choice of going to watch a CART, Indy or F1 race, I'd choose the F1 race, simply because that's one of my real passions.

Speaking (or rather typing) of which, I've been able to get another ticket for the British GP at Silverstone for my other half, as he said that he'd be interested in going, and had been pestering me to get him a ticket.

It's actually worked out rather well, as the race is the weekend that we come back from our break in the West country, so it means that neither of us will have to go belting out of work on the Friday night, in order to get down to Silverstone with the rest of the gang that I go to the race with...

On a different note, this will be the last blog entry for a few days or so, as I'm going on a training course tomorrow, and won't be back near a computer with an internet connection until Friday night.

Time to call this entry quits - I've got to get the rest of my stuff sorted out for the trip tomorrow.

Back on Friday...

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Preparing for the journey...

A strange title for a blog entry, I grant you... But it will become clearer as you read on, I promise!

As part of my job requirements, I've got to travel to complete some training, and I will admit to being somewhat apprehensive about it, especially as I'm going to be the only female on the course.

Thankfully, there will be people I know going, so it shouldn't be that strange for me, even though I'm beginning to wonder if I've bitten off more than I can chew...

Having said that though, I thought the same thing when I was going to do the presentation at the company conference, and I survived that ok - even if my line manger was worried that I'd chicken out!

I've also managed to sort out the problems with my other half. I've agreed to meet his parents when we get back from our break in the West Country.

He wanted me to meet them this weekend - no chance of that, as I've got to get myself ready (i.e. packed) for this training course that I'm going on next week... He's also given up on the idea of me moving in with him. For the time being, anyway!

As well as that, my daft friend has been in contact with me... I left my 'phone at home this morning, and when it's not turned on, any calls I get go to my voicemail. I checked my 'phone this afternoon, only to be greeted with this...

Short stuff! Hello darling, it's only me. What do you mean you can't get to your phone at the moment? You mean you've left it on a high shelf and can't reach it?......


Needless to say, I was somewhat indignant at being called short stuff... Ok - I admit I'm not tall, but I don't need reminding of it every time I speak to this fella!

Mind you, I know it's not meant maliciously, so I get my own back my calling him ratbag... Despite that, he made me laugh, as he was bemoaning the fact that he was at work, and I was able to escape into the sunshine.

He also sent me a text message, telling me to take care out in the sun... I get the impression that he's scared that I'll do something daft, like get burnt to a crisp whilst I'm riding Flame.

Speaking (ok - typing) about Flame, Rachel has very kindly agreed to look after her for the four days that I'm away - I get the impression that she's going to be using the time to re-build her confidence in horses.

By her own admission, she's ok when she's with either myself or her sister, but on her own, she's still scared that something will go wrong. So, as Flame is placid-natured (that's the only reason I let Amber get on her!), it's the best thing that she can do.

Time to call this blog entry quits - I've got to get ready to go and see my other half, as he seems to be determined to spend as much time as he can with me, before I go on my training course.

Back tomorrow, if I've finished the packing!

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Things that make me laugh

Well, I've been lucky. I've avoided ruining a friendship, as my friend has been making me laugh with silly jokes that he found..

These are just two of the ones that I got sent today!

The pet shop door it opened
And a little girl walked in
With curly hair, bright sparkling eyes
And a cheeky little grin.

She walked up to the counter
Her tiny hand held high
And opened little fingers
To show her money safe inside

"What would you like, sweetheart?"
The pet shop man he asked,
"A little bunny rabbit, please"
She said in words and gasps.

"Now would you like a white one,
A grey one or a black?
Or you can have a brown one
With cream fur upon its back."

"Or what about a lop-eared one,
A girl one or a boy?
A chinchilla or a dwarf one
To bring you lots of joy?"

She looked at the shop owner,
His help and wisdom he would share,
She drew a great big breath and said:
My pet python doesn't care."


The other joke, I admit has been doing the rounds for years, but it made me laugh....

A woman in labour is told by her midwife that there is a new pill which gives a quarter of the pain to the father. Her husband agrees to help, so she takes one pill.


He claims he can't feel any pain. She asks him to take half the pain. He agrees. She takes another pill.


He still feels no pain he claims, and says all women are wimps. So she asks him to take all the pain. He agrees, so she takes two more pills..


He says he still feels nothing, and the woman gives birth to a healthy baby.

When they go home, they find the postman dead on the doorstep.


Suppose I should think about logging off, and bogging off - it's nearly time for me to escape!

Back tomorrow, if I get the chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Thanking my lucky stars..

Someone somewhere must be looking after me today...

I sent a message to my friend (with whom I rowed with yesterday), asking if he was ok, and got this response...

I'm ok - not soggy coz I'm inside. Just tryin' to be chilled but everyone has the hump this morning.

So I'm going on the offensive and into coiled spring mode, so look out London!

I hope you are ok as you don't seem to be the Kaz I love today. You ain't treading on egg shells you know, so get with the beat and be the Kaz I know you are...

So if you want to beat me up you know where I am, neh neh ne neh neh...


That had the desired effect, and made me laugh, and made me realise just strong our friendship really is - anyone else would have been in a major strop with me.

But the real ice breaker was this little gem that I was sent... I admitted that I was getting fed up with the Tony Christie song - Is this the way to Amarillo as it's not my style of music at all! (I'm of the long hair & black t-shirt fraternity - I'm into things like AC/DC & Black Sabbath!)

1. Start at Birmingham Airport.

2. Catch flight from Birmingham to Newark Liberty Airport.

3. Catch flight from Newark Liberty Airport to Dallas Fort Worth Airport.

4. Hire car at Dallas Fort Worth Airport.

5. Start going toward the "Airport Exit" on "International Parkway South" - follow for 0.2 miles.

6. Bear left onto the highway toward "Terminal East Parking" - follow for 0.3 miles

7. Bear left onto "International Parkway North" toward "North Airport Exit" -follow for 2.9 miles

8. Take the "Highway 114 west" exit toward "Fort Worth" - follow for 29.2 miles

9. Then continue on "US 287 north" - follow for 91.1 miles

10. "US 287 north" becomes "Interstate-44 east" - follow for 0.7 miles

11. Take left fork onto "US-287 north" toward "Vernon" - follow for 104.0 miles

12. "US 287 north" becomes "Avenue F (US-287)" - follow for 2.8 miles

13. Continue to follow "US 287 north" - follow for 104.9 miles

14. Take left ramp onto "Interstate 40 west" toward "Dumas" - follow for 7.8miles

15. Take "Exit 70" onto "US 60 east" toward "Dumas" - follow for 0.5 miles

16. Take the "Buchanan Street" exit toward "Dumas/Pampa" - follow for1.7 miles

17. Turn right onto "Old Route 66 (Interstate 40)" - follow for 0.1 miles

18. Arrive at the centre of "Amarillo, Texas"

Now that's the way to f*cking Amarillo!!!!!!!!

SO CAN EVERYONE SHUT THE F*** UP NOW??!!!!!

Suppose I'd better think about doing some work before I go on my lunch-break....

Back when I get chance...

Karen.


I walk where others fear to tread

If I could turn back time...

I'd take back those words that've hurt you...


Or more to the point, I'd have never sent that damned e-mail, or been dumb enough to call a friend when I was so wound up!


It started out with my friend sending me an e-mail, in which he tried to explain his feelings about this lass that he's been seeing, and made the mistake (as far as I was concerned!) of saying...

This really is a very complex thing and she is too... It's a long story and one I would explain to you but I don't think you would understand where I'm coming from...


To be honest, that was the worst thing that could have been said, as the rest of the e-mail made me feel like I was supposed to be standing in judgement on him - something that I've never done with a friend.

Ok - I admit that I've called my best mate a few names in the past, but given the circumstances, he understood why I was so uptight. So, needless to say, my reply was not exactly the friendly variety...

Let's get one thing straight right now. I'm not standing in judgement on you - and you obviously think I am. That's the last thing that I would ever do with a friend, and I'm surprised and more than a little hurt that you think I would react like that.


At the end of the day, it's your decision - all people like me can do is give you a shoulder to cry on, and a friendly (or not so friendly) ear to bend.


And contrary to what you believe about me - yes I do have an idea about what you're going through. I've been there, and done that and got the emotional scars to prove it...


Just to add to the mix, I was too stubborn / upset to await the reply, and then called my friend, and gave vent to my fustrations - which in hindsight, was probably not the smartest thing that I could have done.

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that've hurt you...

I don't know why I did the things I did
I don't know why I said the things I said
Pride's like a knife it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes
I didn't really mean to hurt you


Ah well. If you're reading this blog, sweetie - I'm sorry, and I know now that I shouldn't haven't jumped to the wrong conclusion. All I can do is hope that this hasn't spoilt or ended our friendship.

Time to call this entry quits - I want to see if I can think of an appropriate way to repair the damage that I've done, by blowing a fuse.

Back when I can get my shattered emotions together.

Karen.


I walk where others fear to tread

Running scared...

It's well and truly hit the fan this time. What am I talking about? Only the fact that my other half wants me to go up to Yorkshire, and meet his parents.

Ok - under normal circustances, I could cope with that, but I'm somewhat more suspicious... Simply because over the past month or so, he's been on about me moving in with him, and putting our relationship on a more formal footing than it is at the moment.

The trouble is, I know damned well that I enjoy my freedom too much to consider moving in with him. It's not that I don't love him - I do - it's just that the current arrangement suits me fine, as I can do my own thing without having to justify what I'm up to, and where I'm going.

I know for a fact that he doesn't like me getting up at "the crack of sparrow fart" as he so eloquently refers to my alarm call at 04:30 in the summer, and 05:30 in winter, to go and tend to Flame and escape for an early morning ride.

Equally, I know that if I try to tell him that I'm happy with the way things are, he'll start to worry that I'm trying to wriggle out of the relationship, which I'm not.

But having said that, I've been through the hell of having a partner who wanted me to give up my horse, and once gave me an ultimatum - him or the horse. I chose the horse, and it was the best thing that I ever did, as I was able to walk away and find someone who means the world to me.

My trouble is, I need my freedom, and most fellas I've dated have had a hard job accepting that fact, and I've lost count of the number of rows that it's caused between myself the the guy I was seeing. In fact, I can only think of one fella who was comfortable with that idea - and we ended up as best mates!

Time to call this blog entry quits - I want to get some bits and pieces sorted out around the house, and get myself metally prepared for the inevitable fireworks when I tell my other half how I'm feeling....

Karen.


I walk where others fear to tread

The finger of blame has turned upon itself...

And for once, I'm not getting kicked. I know this sounds nasty, but it's someone else who's copping it - someone who really doesn't deserve to get the hassle and crap that he's getting at the moment.

What makes me say this? Simple. The poor guy was on the ‘phone to me last night, and could just about stop himself from bursting into tears on the ‘phone.

He’s really torn up over a relationship (I know that feeling all too well!), and isn’t sure what he wants to do. He said that sometimes he feels like walking away, as he doesn’t want the pain and heartache anymore, but then seems to flip to the other extreme, and is determined to stay and fight for the relationship.

At the end of the day, the only person who can make the decision to stay or leave is him. All I can do is offer a friendly (or not so friendly) ear to bend, and a shoulder that he can cry on, when things get too rough, as well as re-assuring him that he's not losing his mind...

The finger of blame has turned upon itself
And I'm more than willing to offer myself
Do you want my presence or need my help
Who knows where that might lead

Ah well, suppose I’d better think about doing some w*rk…

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

After the fury of past days....

Well, today has been the total opposite of yesterday. I was really uptight,and came very close to telling my line manager that he could find another mug to look after this one account, as I was so fed up with them moving the goalposts all the time.

Thankfully, the fella that I met up with on Sunday was a real angel of mercy, and kept me laughing with silly jokes via e-mail, and talking to me during my lunch break. Without his help, I don't think I would have coped, as I was close to rock bottom - something that I haven't been since Dad died last year.

But one of the things that my friend said via e-mail really touched me:

Hope you are ok but I'm glad to have made you laugh if only a little bit, people don't understand how feelings are and its just a few words at the end of the day, I know that they are showing concern, but don't you just wish they would go away and leave it alone.

You see all those people see, is the mask that you wear you know the front you put on, the brave face so to speak but it's when you're on your own and you feel you can lose it that that's what you want people to see 'coz then they would understand your grief then maybe understand...

To be honest, I think he managed to sum up exactly how I felt, and that made me feel that much better - knowing that there was someone who understood what I was feeling, and knew that I was getting fed up with people niggling at me, and expecting me to bounce back to my normal disposition.

Suppose I'd better think about calling this entry quits - I'm supposed to be working up until 17:00, not blogging!

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

After the rush...

Talk about coming back down to earth with a bump. My landing this morning wasn’t so much of a bump, as the sort of impact that leaves a 20 feet deep crater in the ground.

But, thankfully, my friend was back in contact with me, and even apologised for being too forward with me!

Tying to explain that if I’d felt uneasy with the contact, he’d have known about it, is not really the easiest thing to do via e-mail, but given the fact that we were both at work, and our lunch breaks don’t coincide, it was the best that I could do.

I guess that I must have gotten the wording right, as he said that he’d really enjoyed himself yesterday, and wanted to meet up with me again! To be honest, I was a little bit surprised, and said that the next time we met up; it would be my turn to travel, as it was only fair.

Aside from that bright point, today was the sort of day that I could have cheerfully done without – as nothing appeared to go right, and I seemed to get dragged down into whatever mire I was trying to escape from.

Thankfully, 17:00 came fairly fast as I was busy, and I was only too glad to get out of the office. Normally, I’m willing to stay a little bit after 17:00, and normally don’t leave until about 17:15…

However, this evening, I was out of the office by 17:10 and on the road to my other half’s home (where I’m updating my blog from!)

Time to call this entry quits – I’m getting tired, and I need to get some rest, as I was too wired to sleep last night…

Must have been something to do with the company I was keeping yesterday!

Back tomorrow, if I get chance…

Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread

What a rush!

Well, this weekend has been a real blast from start to finish. Yesterday, I spent the day in the Malvern Hills, with my friends Carole & Rachel, and my god-sprog, Amber.

We’d decided to go trekking in the hills, and had taken the three horses and Kipper – Amber’s pony. Carole’s husband, her youngest daughter Elian and my other half elected to stay with the transporter, as the three of them couldn’t ride, and the two fellas wanted to listen to the rugby.

The ride itself was just what I needed – even if I couldn’t do what I really wanted – and that was give Flame her head, and gallop off into the wilderness.

But, I understood the reasons behind it – we have an unwritten agreement that none of us goes out of sight / earshot of the others, in case there’s a problem that requires the others to assist or in the worst case scenario, go for help.

The funniest part of the day was when Amber decided that she’d had enough of riding Kipper, and demanded to be allowed to ride Flame. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have had any problems with that at all.

This time, it was a little different, as I was worried in case something spooked Flame, and she bolted with Amber on her. But, being a typical three-year-old, she gave me no peace until she got her own way, and I lifted her up onto Flame’s back.

Once she was on Flame, I went to take the reins over Flame’s head, so that I could lead her, only for Amber to insist that she was going to hold on to them instead!

Thankfully, I’d had the foresight to take a lead rein with me, which was clipped to my belt. I un-clipped the rein, and attached it to Flame’s bridle, and led Flame along the path, with Kipper trotting alongside me, as I was holding her reins!

All I can say is thank goodness that Kipper didn’t decide to play up; otherwise I’d have been in real trouble! But I guess the mere fact that I kept her well bribed helped...

Now onto today. Today was a matter altogether, as I was meeting a friend of mine in Stratford-upon-Avon, and I don’t mind admitting I was quite apprehensive.

Simply because this was the first time that I’d actually met this fella in person. Ok – I guess I’d better explain what I mean. This person (who shall remain nameless until he says I can name him in my blog) and I have spoken and e-mailed all sorts of silly jokes, shared personal information about ourselves, but never managed to meet face to face.

At first, he seemed to be a little guarded, but thankfully soon began to relax, and make me laugh with his silly jokes / antics. I soon came to the conclusion that he’s as daft as a brush, and has a real heart of gold.

As he wasn’t familiar with Stratford, I decided to do the tourist-guide bit and show him the sights (and avoid the tourist traps!) But there was one place that I knew he’d enjoy visiting – The Garrick Inn. It’s one of the oldest pubs in Stratford, and does some really good real ales – something that we both have a weakness for!

We also went Hog spotting. Ok - I’d better elaborate on that. My friend is a Harley Davidson fanatic. (He has one himself, so that’s the reason he was doing his best to educate me about Hogs…)

We also watched an entertainer by the riverside, and we were only able to catch the end of his act… He’d got three batons – two were unlit, and the third was lit.

He was planning the put the batons down his trousers, and was making jokes that it was usually at that point where he hoped that some beautiful single female would come rushing up to him, begging him not to do it… Not my friend.

He stood behind me, and yelled “Go on Steve – do it!” I don’t mind admitting that I was laughing, as I was thinking the same thing, but just lacked the courage to yell anything.

So, this fella, Steve, went through with the show. Down went the batons – both the unlit batons and the lit one! I was quite impressed, and my friend muttered something about “bloody crazy northerners!”

As the afternoon drew to a close, we started to walk back to my car, as my friend was parked the other end of the town, and I wasn’t unkind enough to make the poor guy walk though an unfamiliar town to find his car.

As we walked, I felt his arm go around my shoulders, and will admit to being a little bit surprised! When I remarked on it, he quickly took his arm from ‘round me, and looked like a puppy dog that had been told off for playing with its favourite chew toy!

I will admit, I hated seeing the look of hurt in his eyes, and made sure that he knew I wasn’t worried about him putting his arm around me – all my instincts were telling me that I could trust him.

So, I decided to return the favour, and slipped my arm around him, and snuggled up to him, making damned sure that he knew that I was comfortable with the contact.

I dropped him off at his car, and as he wasn’t quite sure how to get to the M40 motorway from Stratford, I said that the best thing he could do, would be to follow me, as I was going to be heading towards the M40 myself.

Before he got into his car, he gave me a kiss and a cuddle! I didn’t object in the slightest, and gave him a cuddle of my own before we parted, having made him promise that he would let me know he was home safely.

To be honest, if things were different (i.e. we were both single and lived closer to each other) I would seriously consider asking him out. But, as we’re both attached, and live miles away from each other, I’ll settle for having a damned good friend that I know I can turn to when times get too rough, and I feel like I’m going to break.

Time to call this entry quits – I’ve got bits and pieces to do before I retreat into my pit.

Back tomorrow, if I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Things that go “crunch” in the night (or on the car)

Driving home from Leek Wooten at about 02:00 last night, I heard this horrible crunch, and realised that I'd hit something. When you're doing about 80mph, there isn't going to be much left of whatever got hit...

So, I managed to stop in a safe place. Ok. I'll re-phase that. A place that's as safe as anywhere for a lone female at 02:00. Only see the remains of a rabbit splattered on the front air-dam of the car.

Great. Just what I didn't need. A bill for £400 plus, for a new air-dam from Arbury Peugeot, or a claim on my car insurance. So, muttering darkly, I got back into the car, and drove the rest of the way home.

I didn't mention the fact that I'd had an impact on the car to Mum; otherwise she would have fussed about me, making sure I was ok. I was - I was more annoyed with myself for forgetting that the road I was travelling on was well known for being a rabbit playground.

So, I got into work, and started talking with colleagues about things, and then let it slip that I thought I'd damaged the air-dam on the car...

"Why don't you get your fella to have a look at it, Kaz?" asked my line-manager.

That was the worst thing that he could have said to me. Ok - I know that he didn't mean that I wasn't capable of sorting the car, but I felt that it implied that I was a typical ditzy female that didn't know one end of a fibre-glass patch from another.

I politely pointed out that it was rather difficult, as he was in one location, and I was in another. Thankfully, my line-manager didn't take offence, and offered to take a look at the damage himself.

That was too good an opportunity to resist I knew what a mess there was on the air-dam, and decided that me being the rotten little b'stard that I can be, the best thing I could do would be to keep quiet.

Needless to say, when he got down on his hands and knees at the front of the car, the picture was a real "Kodak" moment. He went very pale, and muttered something about me having a very twisted sense of humour.

He looked a little shaky when he stood up, but said that I'd avoided damaging the air-dam - it was nothing that a good wash and brush wouldn't cure.

I don't know how I managed to avoid laughing, but to be honest, I was grateful that he'd confirmed that the car was in one piece, as I was not looking forward to having to contact the insurance company, and tell them that I'd damaged the car doing 80mph on a 60mph limit road, because I was desperate to get home and get some sleep!

Time to call this quits - I don't really want to push my luck any more today!

Back when I get a chance to think straight!

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

One year on, and things still hurt.

It’s been a year and a day since Dad died, and it still hurts like hell. And to make matters worse, my best mate called me yesterday morning to say that his Dad had been rushed into hospital with a heart attack.

That nearly broke me in the morning, and I will admit to being rather subdued at work, which did make people wonder if I was ok, but those that work with me knew the reason for me being subdued.

I will admit, I was glad that he called me, as I was supposed to be going over to see him and his family last night, and he said that the last thing he wanted was for me to walk straight into the mess.

Time to call this entry quits - I'm too emotionally challenged to be able to think straight.

Back when my mind and emotional state allow.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Its funny how life turns around....

I know that I've not posted for a while, but to be honest, my life has been a little too manic for me to even think about going near a computer after I finish work, and I don't seem to get the time to post whilst I'm at my desk.

So, I guess that now's as good a time as any to bring this blog up to-date. I've had the cortisone jab in my shoulder, and as I type this entry, I'm beginning to wonder if I've made the right decision.

Simply because the shoulder doesn't seem any easier, and just to add insult to the injury, my damned arm has swollen up, making it near impossible to wear my watch and my normal ring on my right hand.

But, I'm willing to give this shot chance to work, simply because I don't want to go and see a saw-bones, as I know that it will mean a substantial lay-off from the things that I enjoy doing - including the horse-riding!

Horse-riding.... That was the reason I used to sign off on my last blog entry. I will admit, it was break that I really needed, and in a way, all it did was re-affirm the bond that I have with my partner, who has been a tower of strength to me, whilst I try to get to grips with things.

But, I’ve always said that this time of year is not good for me at all, as it’s nearly a year since Dad died. And to make matters worse, my feelings for someone are getting stronger.

I know this sounds crazy, especially when I love my partner so much, but this other person makes me laugh, and seems to have the knack of bringing me out of whatever funk I’m in, by aiming some silly comment or joke in my direction.

In some ways, I get the feeling that it’s a case of familiarity breeds contempt – especially where my partner is concerned. We’ve been together since Christmas, and he’s been a real help, when I’ve hit a few rough patches. Now, I feel like I’m betraying him – emotionally, at least, by having feelings for this other person.

So, I guess that the only thing I can do, is carry on what I’ve been doing – and that’s hiding my emotions, never letting on how I feel about this person, and praying that no-one realises the conflict that’s raging inside me.

Time to call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be getting ready to go out to dinner with my partner.

Back tomorrow, if I get the chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Getting fustrated, but not for too long..

I know that I was told by my line manager that my new role would be challenging to me, but there have been a couple of occasions this week where I've come very close to telling him that he could find some other mug to look after this one damned account.

I mean, this particular account has caused me more grief in the last four weeks, than any of the others managed in six months. But, I'm determined that this bunch will not beat me, and I'll win them over if it's the last thing I do!

But, I guess that I'm lucky enough to have a partner who understands why I'm in an evil temper when I go straight over to his place, after work, and who does his best to make me laugh, by telling me silly stories and jokes, like this gem:

From the State where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes a true story from the Sunshine Coast, Queensland.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood tavern. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. He finally started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night), flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.

At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyser test.

To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station this breathalyser equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy..."

True story (allegedly!)

Time to call it quits - I can her my other half calling me, to say that dinner's ready.

I don't know when I'll next be able to update my blog, as I'm off to the Peak District on Friday night, on a trekking break with Rachel and a friend of ours, and won't be back until Sunday night.

Back when I get the chance...

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

A shot in the shoulder

I've been to my doctor this morning, and been told that the next step isn't for me to see a saw-bones. (Thank God - I hate having to go to Warwick hospital - for obvious reasons!) Instead, I'm to have a cortisone jab in the joint, in an effort to reduce the inflammation, then go back to the sadist (sorry - I mean physiotherapist!) to get things moving again.

There is, however, one drawback to this jab... The last time I had a cortisone jab, I went and passed out, and gave the doctor quite a fright. But the main thing, is the fact that Mum's on the late shift so that it means that I can get a lift with her to the doctor's, have the jab, and then get a lift into work...

However, I've also got to go to a meeting in Winchester the following day, and I'm not looking forward to that at all. Still, I can always explain an evil mood by saying that I'm in pain with my shoulder, and from what the doctor has said, I'll be in a sling for a couple of days! So, guess what - I'm going to be playing the sympathy vote for all I'm damned well worth!

I know that it's not normally the sort of trick I pull, but given how I feel about this meeting it's just what I'm going to do.

Time to call this entry quits - I'm off to Birmingham to see Amber.

Back when I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Eight legged fiends....

Well, the engineer has been out to sort the problem with the alarm. It turns out that the moggies weren't responsible at all - it was a spider walking across the sensor!

A few years ago, we'd had the sensors sealed against eight-legged invaders, but it looks like the damned things needed re-doing. The one sensor had quite a few webs in it, and a couple of small spiders that had taken up residence there.

Needless to say, Mum and I were not very impressed, as Ponto is supposed to be the moggy with the hair-trigger appetite - and he's got a thing for eating spiders. Revolting hairball!

Still, at least I know what I can do to prevent this from hopefully happening again - just make sure that there are no eight-legged fiends near the sensors!

Time to call this entry quits - I'm off to watch the Spanish GP on ITV...

Back later, if I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Another early start...

Just what Mum didn't need. I'd been out horse riding this morning. (I left the house at 05:30 and got back just after 07:00.) I set the alarm and went upstairs to sort out some files on the computer off line when the damned alarm went off!

I shot downstairs and turned the thing off and cursed whatever caused it to go off. There was no sign of anything that could have caused it - not even one of the cats as they were both in the study with me. (I think Ponto was under the impression that if he looked appealingly enough at me, I might feed him. Think again cat!)

Thankfully, Mum and I sound identical on the 'phone so once I'd turned the alarm off and reassured Mum that it was nothing to worry about, I called the service centre who said that an engineer would be out by 10:00 this morning.

Great. It's a good thing that I wasn't planning on doing anything today, otherwise I would have been well and truly screwed.

Under normal circumstances, this wouldn't have been a problem as Mum was supposed to be working this weekend. But, as she's been signed off by the doctor with inflamed cartilage in the right knee, she was asleep - or at least she was until the alarm went off!

So, because Mum's been signed off, she's been at home the past few days,, and has been told by the doctor that she's to do as little as possible, and rest with her feet up - which means no gardening - much to Mum's disgust!

But, I guess there is a positive side to me sitting here on the computer… It gives me chance to assess the perfume I tried yesterday in Stratford. It’s Dior’s new fragrance – Addict 2.

I will admit, when I first tried it, I thought it was a little too sweet smelling, but as it’s warmed up and adapted to my skin acidity, it’s really nice. Think I might drop a hint to the other half about getting me some, otherwise I’ll just go and get it myself!

Time to call this quits – I want to get the washing knocked off this morning.

Back later.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread.

It never rains but it pours....

And I guess that this blog entry sums up how I'm feeling at this moment in time. I had a missed call on my 'phone this morning, and because I was up to my eyeballs in work, I didn't get chance to check who it was from until lunchtime.

The missed call was from my best mate, and I sent him a text, to see how he was... He called me back, and dropped the bombshell on me: his Mum's got kidney cancer. He's had to cut short his holiday, as he said that the last thing he wanted, was to be on holiday, knowing that his Mum's seriously ill.

I will admit, I was stunned, and asked him to let me know how his mum was when he got home. He agreed, and said that the reason he called me, was because he knew how close I was to his Mum and Dad.

That's quite true - they welcomed me with open arms when I started seeing him, and when we split up, berated him for being a fool for calling it quits with me. But, when I lost Dad, his family welcomed me with open arms, and really helped me though a very difficult time.

Suppose I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working.

Back when I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Things are looking up!

Guess I must be doing something right after all... I've had my review, and to say that I was stunned by the review was an understatement.

It was really good, and it turns out that the powers that be at my company have noticed my "can do" attitude, and are making comments in meetings that my line manager attends. So, needless to say, he's really pleased with the way that I've coped with being thrown in at the deep end.

I did admit to getting home a couple of times, and throwing things across the living room (causing both moggies to run for cover!) and he laughed, and said that it proved that I was getting challenged by my job.

Damned right I am, but to be honest, I don't object to that, as I'm the sort of person that needs a challenge to keep myself on top of the game, and stop myself getting bored.

But, after my review, whilst I was trying to get my feet back on the ground, I started thinking... And I realised what was different about this job. It's because I like the people I work with, and the attitude that the company takes with its staff. And, because of that, I'm willing to pull out all the stops to give the company 110% - especially as my colleagues have been really supportive over the past year or so....

And I've really needed that support - especially just recently. My god-daughter, Amber, is currently in Birmingham Children's Hospital, having undergone major heart surgery to replace two of the valves in her heart, and I've been spending every evening at her bedside.

It breaks my heart to see the little munchkin all wired up, but as she was asking for her teddy today, I know that she's on the road to recovery.

Guess I should call this entry quits - got bits to do before I head for Birmingham...

Back tomorrow.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Talk about an adrenaline bounce!

I completed the point-to-point with Flame, and the little beauty (ok - not so little - she's 17hh!) made it round the course - all 3 1/2 miles of it!

We did really well - out of a field of 30 competitors, we came 5th! Not bad going, when you consider that Flame's only a 5-year old - which means that she's still only a baby in horse terms!

The best bit was the fact that my other half was there to see me off, and from what my friend was saying, he could barely watch the race, as he was terrified I'd injure myself.

Ok - there's a good reason for him being worried, as the last time I rode the course, I ended up in hospital with concussion as my horse had accidentally kicked my head (which was protected by a very good riding hat - the only thing that prevented a more serious injury!)

But, once he realised that I was back safe and sound with Flame, he was the first one to cuddle me, and helped me cool Flame down after the race. Even Amber wanted to help out, and was as proud as anything, leading Flame around slowly, and looking for all the world like my minature groom!

The only thing that worried me was the fact that Amber didn't look too well, and I asked her mum if she was ok... It turns out that the poor little kid has to go into hospital next week for major heart surgery.

I knew that Amber hadn't been very well, and will admit to being a little miffed that her Mum hadn't told me how ill Amber was. But, given the fact that Carole (Amber's mum) pointed out that I'd got enough on my plate, I was willing to let things rest...

Suppose I should call this entry quits - I'm off out to celebrate!

Back tomorrow - hangover permitting!

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

Still in pain

I must have been a real b'stard in a previous existence, if the pain my shoulder is anything to go by. I've made an appointment with the doctor, and hopefully, I'll get myself referred to a saw bones to get this damned shoulder sorted out.

I think I know the reason why my shoulder is so painful: - Ponto (the furry thug) was asleep on my shoulder when my alarm went off this morning, and I think that he must have put his full weight (about 1.5kg) on my shoulder joint.

On top of that, the ungratefully moggy bit me, because I had the nerve to move the little thug, so I could get up! So needless, to say, today has not been a good day for me.

That and the fact that I've got to attend another meeting on Wednesday afternoon, to review my progress. The company is a great believer in keeping tabs on your progress, and giving you things that you need to aim for.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not worried - much. But, I know from past experience that if there was a major problem, I would have been spoken to before now, so it's probably going to be a case of setting new aims / targets for the next few months, as well as talking though any issues that may have arisen that haven't already been discussed.

Hmm - don't really want to blot my copy book by getting caught blogging...

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

The mother of all jumbos!

IT FLIES!!!! The Airbus A380 flies!!! To be honest, I will admit to feelings of sorrow and loss as I watched this new aircraft take to the skies on BBC News 24. Simply because this is the first new airbus launch that I've missed seeing from Toulouse airport.

How did I manage to watch all the other test flights? Simple. Dad used to take me to watch the test flights, because he knew that it was something that I was (and still am) very interested in.

Ok - I will admit Dad had a professional reason for being at the test flight - he was going to be the one working with the aircraft, but for me, it was a chance to see a new aircraft, and learn more about Dad's job.

But, whilst I was allegedly doing some work, I've managed to find the offical Airbus website. It's got some stunning images, and is well worth a look: http://www.airbus.com/A380/seeing/indexminisite.aspx

Hmm, guess I should call time on this entry for today - I know I appear to have a charmed life at times, but I don't really want to push my luck too far...

Back when I get chance.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

Getting fed up with the kid glove treatment

I know this sounds crazy, but I’m getting more than a little fed up with people treating me like I’m made of china.

People may find this rather trivial, but to me, at this moment in time, it’s a real irritation to me, and I can’t see a way of stopping people without causing major offence.

One of the worst offenders (if I can call him that!) is my line manger. Ok – he’s seen me when I’ve been very close to breaking point, and has seen me coming into the office in tears, because I’d visited the crem at lunchtime.

Admittedly, that’s probably the reason he treats me with kid gloves, but there are times that I find it incredibly annoying, and I know damned well that if I did say anything to him, he would be really hurt.

But, I guess that it's just something that I'm going to have to put up with - especially as it's nearly a year since I lost Dad, and I guess that the façade that I present to the world is starting to crack a little - and if that's the case, then I'm scared.

Simply because I obviously thought I was stronger than this, and am too damned stubborn to admit that this impending anniversary is going to hurt like hell.

Guess I should call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be doing some work!

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

Just a little something that made me smile...

There's something to be said about working in an office like mine... You get all sorts of weird and wonderful things sent into your inbox - this one being the latest in a long line that has been floating around...

A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any sex for over 5 years. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a well known Chinese sex therapist called Dr Chang.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr Chang said "OK, take off all your crose." The woman did as she was told."Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room"

Again the woman did as she was instructed. Dr Chang then said "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me"

As she did Dr Chang shook his head slowly, "Your probrem vewy bad. You have Ed Zachary disease. Wurse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."

The woman said anxiously "Oh my God, Dr Chang what on earth is Ed Zachary disease?"

Dr Chang sighed deeply and replied "Ed Zachary disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your arse."

Time to call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be working. Well, that's the theory, anyway!

Back when I get chance.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

Early Darwin award nominee

Sorry - I couldn't resist this one!!

The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington USA appeared to be the robber's first (and last), due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:

1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms. A gun shop specializing in hand guns.

2. An armed security guard courteously opened the door to let the would-be robber into the store.

3. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.

4. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.

5. A uniformed police officer was standing at the counter, having coffeebefore work. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a .22 target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a 9mm Glock 17, the clerk with a .50 Desert Eagle, assisted by several customers who also drew their guns, several of whom also fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics.

Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt in the exchange of fire.

Here we are only in April and we already may have the 2005 winner of the Darwin Award. This guy is going to be hard to beat!

Time to do some work...

Back when I get peace and quiet!

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

Listening to my soul

I know this sounds crazy, but as I'm playing around on my computer at home, I'm using my Windows media player to play some of the music that I've got stored as MP3 files on my hard drive..

One of them is Muse - Sing for Absolution

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Tiptoe to your room
A starlight in the gloom
I only dream of you
And you never knew

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

There's nowhere left to hide
In no one to confide
The truth runs deep inside
And will never die

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

I won't remain unrectified
And our souls won't be absolved

I guess that in a way, this song sums up how I feel about someone. Don't get me wrong - I love my partner dearly, but this other person really brightens up my day, and always seems to have the knack of making me smile or laugh when I'm feeling low, or I feel like I'm going to burst into tears.

I know that people will be trying to guess who I mean, but that remains within my soul, as I have no intention of making a fool of myself or the other person - whom I respect as a person, as well as caring for them.

Time to call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be going out with my other half tonight.

Back tomorrow - if I get chance!

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

Just a quick joke

There have been countless Michael Jackson jokes floating around, and so far, none have them have been particularly funny.... But this one, I felt broke the mould! And all I can say is don't blame me - this was sent to me!!

I got a new car radio last week - voice activated - and it is terrific.

If I say "Rock" it plays rock and roll.

If I say "Rap" it plays rap.

If I say "Love" it plays love songs.

Then, three kids ran out in front of the car and I said "Fu*king kids!"

And it played Michael Jackson !!

Time to call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be working!

Back later, if I get chance.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

Getting fed up

Ever had one of those days when all you want to do is tell the world to go screw itself? Well I'm having one. To be honest, I'm more than a little fed up, as people seem intent on screaming blue murder about things that I deal with to other people, but don't have the decency to speak to me.

I know I was warned about this happening, but it still irritates the hell out of me - in fact, this person would make the perfect laxative - because they irritate the sh*t out of me!

Aside from that, I've been told that I'm going to have to attend a meeting with this person - knowing full well that they've tried to stab me in the back, and will be all sweetness and light to my face. But, I can live with that, as I'm perfectly aware of this person's nature, and won't be dumb enough to get suckered in, and let something slip that I may regret later on.

On a different note, things are really looking up for me at this moment in time, on a personal front at least! My other half has said that he wants to go on holiday with me to the West Country in July!

I will admit, I was speechless, and when I finally regained the power of speech, I said that I would be delighted to go. He's said that he wants to take me to the Eden Project at St Austell - I didn't like to tell him that I've already been there with Mum and Dad a couple of years ago!

Hopefully, I'll be fit enough to climb the steps to the top of the tropical bio-dome this time, as when I was there a couple of years ago, I'd damaged my knee, and that meant that I wasn't fit enough to scarper up the top of the waterfall. Mind you, I wasn't even fit enough to walk 'round the bio-domes!

Suppose I ought to look like I'm working instead of blogging...

Back when I get chance.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

After the Physio….

Well, I’ve reached the magic sixth session of physio. Why do I say the magic sixth session? Simple. It’s apparently the number of sessions that usually mean that the treatment has made a marked improvement in the injury. The physio and I have come to the decision that I need to be referred to a saw bones.

Admittedly, the shoulder has improved dramatically – i.e. I can use the arm reasonably normally. Even if I do still get this very disconcerting “crunching” when I move the arm in a certain way!

I’ve been advised to leave it a month before I go and see my GP to get the referral, and then all I’ll have to do is wait and see what the outcome is.

Hopefully, I won’t need surgery, as I’ve said in previous posts, surgery would mean no fun for a minimum of 6 – 8 weeks, and I’ve only just started to get things going right in my life – not to mention starting to play with the Pug on track days…

Suppose I’d better call this entry quits – I promised that I would go and see my god-sprog tonight, and read her a bed-time story to get the little munchkin settled down.

Back tomorrow, if I get chance.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

Trying to make sense of the past.

I don’t know what’s up with me at the moment. I’ve been feeling rather flat, and I guess that I’m just mulling over the past 15 months or so.

What makes me say this? Simple. This time last year, I was engaged, and preparing to take my fiancé to Heathrow airport, so that he could fly out to Japan on a business trip, and was wondering how I would cope for four weeks without him, as I spent every weekend with him.

Now, I’m sitting at my computer at home, mulling over the events that seemed to turn my nice, simple life upside down. I got offered the job at my present company, and went permanent with them on 04/05/04.

Then on the evening of Friday 21/05/04, I went down to Heathrow to pick up my fiancé, and for some reason, instead of spending the weekend with him, I came back to Warwickshire.

And I’m glad I did; as that was the last full weekend that I was able spend with Dad, as he died on the Monday.

At the time, I was really grateful that my fiancé dropped everything to come up to Warwickshire, and was a real help to Mum and myself when we were trying to sort out the funeral arrangements. But even now, I don’t know what caused him to change.

After Dad’s funeral, he seemed to change, and wanted me to leave my job, and Warwickshire and move south with him, and work for the same company as him, as a PA.

His timing stank, and I made damned sure that he knew how I felt about that, but he seemed to drop the idea, for a while anyway. Then, he started trying the emotional blackmail, saying that I couldn’t care for him that much, if I was reluctant to leave my job and move in with him.

I guess that was the final straw, and it helped me to remove the rose-tinted glasses that I’d been wearing where he was concerned. It was bad enough that he wanted me to leave my job, but the fact that he wanted me to leave Mum as well was the killer blow to our relationship.

I know dammed well that he reads my blog, and if you’re reading this now – I am so much better off without you, it’s untrue.

You once gave me an ultimatum – "it's me or the horse". My answer still stands – it’s the horse every time, and this time, I’ve found someone who is willing to try and get involved with my hobbies – and doesn’t begrudge the time that I spend with other people.

Time to call this entry quits – I’ve got stuff to do before I go out this afternoon.

Back when I get chance.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

MG Rover bites the dust

Well the inevitable has happened. MG Rover has gone bust. And despite the bleeding heart cries from Tony Blair and his cronies, there seems to be no depths that this government will not plunge to, in a vain attempt to stay in power.

Ok - I admit it sounds like I'm just jumping on the bandwagon - and using the MG Rover crisis to blast the government. Far from it. What irritates me, is that this government were quite happy to sit back and watch Ford pull the plug on the Jaguar plant in Coventry, with a similar number of jobs being lost, and no offers of help to re-train the workers affected.

But the minute there's an election in the offing, Blair scampers up to Birmingham in an attempt to be seen doing something to help the affected families, and hopefully, ensure that they vote for his mob again.

But, unfortunately, the words too little, too late tend to come to mind. The only time that the top brass politicians come to the Midlands, is when they need the public to vote them back into power. Well, I've got news for them. I doubt if the families affected by MG Rover's closure will vote for them again - I know I certainly won't!

Time to call it quits - it's time for me to escape.

Back tomorrow if I get the chance.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

Trying to prevent an accident...

I could have cheerfully strangled my other half this morning. He told me that he could ride, and I didn't have any reason to disbelieve him. Especially when he showed that he could get Flame walking in a circle, could get her to change direction, and stop.

I guess I should have smelt a rat when he asked how to get her moving after he'd brought her to a stop... I told him to squeeze her sides with his legs, or just gently touch her sides with his heels. He took the second option, and his touch was far from gentle.

The next thing I know, Flame has taken off like she's in the Derby, and he's hanging on for dear life! Thankfully, I'd been saddling up Tequila, and was able to go after Flame before anything happened - like she injured herself, or my other half fell / got thrown off.

When I managed to get Flame to stop, I was shaking - but not as much as my other half. I've never seem him look so scared, and it turned out the only thing he'd ridden was a donkey, when he was a kid!

Needless to say, I was less than impressed, and thankfully, I was able to lead Flame back to the stable, where my other half sheepishly dismounted, and helped me to remove the tack from both horses, and then get them cooled off, groomed and turned out.

I guess that I shouldn't be such a grouch - at least he's trying to join me in my hobbies - and because of that, if he wants, I've said that I'll ask a friend of mine to teach him to ride - but not on Flame - she's too much of a handful for a novice rider!

Time to call this quits - it looks like I've got some work comming my way...

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down

Concrete waders anybody?

Talk about an inauspicious start to the day!! I got in this morning, and discovered that I should have sorted out a delivery for today! Whoops! Thankfully, I've been able to sort out a delivery tomorrow, but that didn't stop me feeling like a prize prat!

On top of that, I've been nominated to go on some more training - at a trade show! The theory being that I'll learn a lot more, and hopefully, get to grips with things better. Part of me wondered if I was being fitted for the concrete waders, but my line manager said that he knew I'd be able to cope! Wow! Talk about a vote confidence... Which is just what I needed after the crappy start I had today.

Don't get me wrong - it could have been a lot worse, but it's still embarrassing for me, as I've only just started working with this account, and I've been told to treat them with kid gloves, as they like to think that the world revolves around them. I've got news for them - I've got other things that are just important to sort out. But, despite that, I've been able to get things sorted out and hopefully, be able to avoid making this sort of mistake again!

But, there are things that make me laugh - and this was given as an order number - PI33OFF. I will admit, I started laughing as soon as I saw it, and the guy was adamant that he wanted that as his order number. So, as the old saying goes "the customer is always right" so I left it as it was! Should cause fun when he gets the call to say that the tyre is now in stock...

Time to call this entry quits - it's nearly time to go on my lunch!

Back later - if I get the chance....

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

Luck of the draw I guess...

I lost in the office sweepstake. My horse (Arctic Copper) did at least manage to complete the course - even if he did finish 19 out of 21... But I was really glad that Hedgehunter won, as he was so unlucky last year, when he fell last year.

But, I was pleased to see that Carrie Ford - the only female jockey in the race managed to get round the course in one piece - which hopefully means that next year, she'll ride again - and win!

Whoops - time to go - I'm supposed to be going over to see my godsprog and her little sister now, as I said that I would babysit for her Mum and Dad tonight...

Back when I get chance.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down