The Long Road to Eternity

Well, this was a let down. Not through any fault of the band - the great British weather intervened and the gig was cancelled at 19:20. Fair play to the band - they offered a free drink to the fans and came down to the bar to see those of us who made it through the snow.

Tony and Bob are real gents, and if I am honest, I would have preferred the gig. But Mother Nature intervened and it wasn't to be.

Will I attended if they reschedule? You bet. The album is a cracker - and I can't stop playing it in the car - especially Welcome to the Cosmic Caberet and Without Love.

Rock on Magnum - the new album is a blast!!!

Karen

Our dreams, won’t die
If you remember them each day
Sweet dreams, blue sky
They’re gonna take you all the way
I believe, in you, no lie
Your dreams, won’t die
Your dreams won’t die

Happiness is knowing....

That you've got the tickets for the concert that you wanted to go to.

Yes - I've managed it.  2 tickets for the Magnum concert on the 2nd March 2018 at Birmingham Town Hall.

To say I am a happy bunny is an understatement.  I really didn't expect to get the tickets as easily as I did, and I have told my partner that his ticket will be part of his birthday present.  I mean, what else can you get a fella?

He doesn't wear aftershave, and isn't into fashion, and getting gadgets is not a good idea, as he leaves anything slightly technical to me.  So, being able to get tickets to a group that he likes (and I have gotten into) is a bonus.

Ah well, guess I'd better get read to go back to work, but I'm really *not* in the mood.  Too damned happy.

Karen

Our dreams, won’t die
If you remember them each day
Sweet dreams, blue sky
They’re gonna take you all the way
I believe, in you, no lie
Your dreams, won’t die
Your dreams won’t die

Getting tickets

I know it's been a while since I posted anything, but things are still ticking along nicely for me.  My partner and I have made plans to do quite a bit together, and the one thing that I am trying to do is get concert tickets.

Specifically tickets for a UK rock group - Magnum.  Now I know that those few people who know me well will be surprised that I like this group, but since I've been with my partner, he's really opened my eyes (and my ears) to new music.

Ok - I knew the one Magnum track - "Start talking Love", but that was my limit.  Until he mentioned that he wanted to get an early album - Chase the Dragon.

So, me being me, decided to see what I could find, and ended up listening to the album...  And it made it to my MP3 player....  And then it sort of spiralled from there, as I ended up getting a copy of Storyteller's Night  - again, on my MP3 player.

But this time, it wasn't my partner that got me listening to it.  It was my godsprog - Amber.  She kept nagging me to listen to it (even lent the album to me so that I could listen to it - but not in the car, as  I don't have a CD player) and again, I was hooked.

So now, I'm trying to get the tickets for their new tour:  The Road to Eternity.

Murphy's law states that the tickets go on pre-sale this morning, but can I access them?  Can I hell.  So, I'll have to wait until tomorrow morning, and pray that I can get them.

Ah well, guess I should call this quits - it's nearly time for me to finish lunch.

Back when I get chance.


Karen

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again.

Music for the car

At the moment, I'm listening to the new AC/DC album (ok – it’s the sound track to the Iron Man 2 film). It’s almost like a greatest hits album (this is second film that the band have done a sound track for – the first film was Maximum Overdrive)

I got the CD last night – ok – let me rephrase that. Mum got me the CD, and I decided that I would listen to it on the way into work this morning… With the result being that I must have looked a real sight blasting along the road, the windows wide open, and “Thunderstruck” blasting out from the stereo.

Aside from that, it’s a really good album, with some cracking songs on it:

1. Shoot to Thrill
2. Rock 'N' Roll Damnation
3. Guns for Hire
4. Cold Hearted Man
5. Back in Black
6. Thunderstruck
7. If You Want Blood (You've Got It)
8. Evil Walks
9. T.N.T.
10. Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be
11. Have a Drink on Me
12. The Razor's Edge
13. Let There Be Rock
14. War Machine
15. Highway to Hell

I have to admit, my favourites are Thunderstruck, T.N.T and Highway to Hell. As one of my colleagues said – I'm just an aging rocker. I resent the aging bit, but I agree with the rocker bit – none of this namby-pamby Sugar Babes stuff in my car… Think the most refined thing I’ve got in the car at the moment is Dire Straits!

Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I'm supposed to be working…

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Breaking the chain? Not this time I'm afraid.

Well, any hopes I had of being able to sleep after posting my fears on my blog were dissolved like morning mist.

I got back into bed, and tried to get to sleep as I am still shattered after my scare in the early hours of this morning, and for whatever reason, I just couldn't close my eyes and sleep. So, I decided to change the music on my MP3 player. (No - it's not an i-Pod - I refuse point blank to have one on the grounds that most of my music is in .WMA format.)

Whilst I was doing the transfer, I was listening to some music on my PC, and I found this track by Snow Patrol. It made me think of my beloved, and the way that I feel about him...

Chasing Cars

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
I said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Ah well, guess I should try and get my hair under some form of control, as I've got to go out and fuel the Peugot up... Oh, and get some cat food, otherwise Fred and Splodge will be gnawing the leather settee...

Back later.

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time

I won't back down...

Occasionally, you hear a song that sums up a mood, and this Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers song has done just that for me.... It's called I Won't Back Down

Well I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of Hell
But I won't back down

No I'll stand my ground, won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
Gonna stand my ground...
And I won't back down

(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(And I won't back down...)
Hey I will stand my ground
And I won't back down

Well I know what's right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin’ me around
But I'll stand my ground...
And I won't back down

(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(And I won't back down...)
Hey I will stand my ground
(I won't back down)
And I won't back down...

(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey I won't back down
(And I won't back down)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(And I won't back down)

Hey I will stand my ground
(And I won't back down)
And I won't back down
(I won't back down)
No I won't back down...

As this sums up my mood for today, I thought it was rather appropriate for the start of today's posting...

Guess I should think about doing some work, but I'm suffering from TNFI, and it's not even 09:00 yet...!

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time

Throwing a spanner in the works....

Typical. They say the best laid plans of mice and tiggers have this horrible habit of going astray, and my plans are no different.

I was hoping to talk my beloved into going to Wolverhampton with me to go and see Gary Moore, but we agreed (in principal) to go to Oxford instead as it was closer for the pair of us. The idea was that the pair of us would take the day of the concert off, and then go to the concert in the evening.

Fine in theory. In practice? It sank without a trace, as it turned out that my beloved was supposed to be going to Whitley Bay the following morning and as he said, he didn't want to have to travel on very little sleep.

Needless to say, I'm not too happy, as I was really looking forward to going to see Gary Moore with my beloved, but I'm sure that we'll manage to get away together some time, and I would rather know that he was travelling when he was fully rested...

Suppose I should log off and bog off - I've got to feed the furry fiends...

Back when I get chance.

Karen

I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

Midnight Blues

Well, I'm back from Cornwall. I will admit, although it was nice to see my family, I'm only too glad to be back home.

Why? Because the old joke that "God gave you your relatives, but thank god you can choose your friends" has never been more apt at times.

Ok - maybe I'm being a little unkind to my family, but compared to the rest of the family - I'm subdued! I felt a little out of place at times, but as things started warming up (and the drink started flowing - I was driving so I didn't drink that much at all) I started feeling much more at ease with things.

However, it was when I was settling down, that I started to feel blue, and the song by Gary Moore - Midnight Blues sums up how I felt some nights...

It's the darkest hour

Of the darkest night

It's a million miles

From the morning light

Can't get no sleep

Don't know what to do

I've got those midnight blues

When the shadows fall

I feel the night closing in

There must be some reason

For this mood I'm getting in

Can't get no sleep

Don't know what to do

I've got those midnight blues

Every evening after sundown

As the light begins to fade

I feel so low, but I just don't know

Why these blues won't go away

Every evening after sundown

As the light begins to fade

I feel so low, but I just don't know

Why these blues won't go away

It's the darkest hour

Of the darkest night

It's a million miles

To the morning light

Can't get no sleep

Don't know what to do

I've got those midnight blues

I've got those midnight blues

I've got those midnight blues

I've got those midnight blues

Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I need to make peace with Fred.

Back tomorrow.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Starting to walk on air...

There's something about talking to a good friend that really lifts me.

I called my daft hog riding friend at lunchtime, and he was making me laugh, complaining about his phone and hands-free kit packing up. Once he'd had his grump about that, we got talking about various things - including his trip to see We Will Rock You in London last night.

He said that it was really good, as he really likes his Queen music, and said that there were some parts that had him in tears, as he admitted that he's rather vulnerable at the moment, and was grateful that the theatre was dark!

We got talking about our trip to Cosford, and we've agreed to meet between 08:00 and 08:30, and the second one there not only buys the coffee and also gets a huge hug. That made me blush, and I have to admit that I was really glad that I was in the car, and not anywhere that I could be seen!

Once we get to Cosford, we've both agreed to turn our 'phones off, and he has said that he'll have no need for his phone, as he would be holding my hand the whole time, and that when he hugged me, he said that it would take an awful lot to make him let go of me! That made my smile get even bigger, and I have to admit, I'm counting the hours until I see him, as he means an awful lot to me.

We had to end the call as he was arriving at his next customer's premises, and he said that he would see me very soon, and would speak to me later this evening, when he finishes work.

Time to call this quits - I've got four tyres to locate for an order...

Back later, if I get chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Joining the MP3 player brigade...

Well, I've done it. I've bought myself an MP3 player. It's a good sized one - 1GB, and I transferred all of the music that I have on my computer (the tracks that I like!), and I've still got free space.

Not that I'm complaining - far from it. I'll be taking it with me when I go on holiday, and also when I travel to Dublin in November, for White Wolf's 30th birthday...

My partner thought I was daft, until he listened to it last night (after I'd copied the music and travelled down to see him), and has now decided that he wants to get one himself, as his taste in music is different to mine - I've got things like AC/DC, Metallica and Edwyn Collins...

Despite this, I'm more than happy, and will be taking it into work to listen to during my lunch-break - that way there's no way that people will be able to disturb me unless I take one of the ear-pieces out of my ear, or my alarm goes off on my 'phone...

Suppose I should think about doing some work, but I'm suffering from a case of severe TNFI........

Back later, if I get chance...

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Something that made me cry, and made me smile...

Well, I'm getting packed ready to go away tomorrow, and I've been playing with my new toy - a digital camera.

I'd been considering one for quite a while, and I've finally taken the plunge and bought one as part of a package with the matching printer. It's a Kodak, with 3.1 megapixels, and does as much as my big Olympus analogue camera, for a fraction of the size!

As I prepared this blog entry, I was listening to my normal radio station, when I heard a dedication to me, from this fella that I've started to see... It was a bit of an unusual choice, I will admit, but as soon as I heard the opening bars, I knew the song - it was Metallica - Nothing Else Matters.

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters


The message just said that he would miss me whilst I was away, and that I was to take care, and come back safe and well.

I will admit, the tears started escaping when I heard that, and as soon as the song was finished, I called him... He said that he'd been expecting me to call him, as he'd remembered that I have a habit of listening to the radio on a Sunday morning, and knew that my preferred station was Kerrang!


But he soon had me laughing, by telling me a joke... I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'd already had the joke e-mailed to me at work, so I've just copied the joke and posted it on my blog...

One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark".

Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being. Anything you want,after all you're the guv'"


But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time Noah, I don't want just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other".


"20 DECKS!" screams Noah "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"


"Yep, that's right, well. Sort of right. This time I want you to fill it up with fish", God answers.


"Fish?" queries Noah.


"Yep, fish. Well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!"


Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?"


"Check."


"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?"


"Check."


"And you want it full of Carp?"


"Check."


"Why?" Asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.


"Dunno," says God, "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark."


Guess I should call this entry quits - still got stuff to do around the house before the Grand Prix...

Back after my holiday.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

So I dub thee unforgiven...

That's the way that I'm dealing with my ex. Ok - I know that it sounds like I'm being incredibly vindictive and nasty, but given the way I'm feeling, I feel entirely justified to react like this.

If I'd had my way, I would have spoken to him face to face, instead of showing the distinct lack of courage and splitting up with him in a 'phone call.

What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

You labeled me
I'll label you
So I dub thee unforgiven

As for my holiday next week, I'm still going to Devon and Cornwall - but I'm traveling with Mum instead. After I'd split up with my ex, Mum made the suggestion that I still went, but that she came with me, as she said that it would be the best thing I could do - get away from the area for a few days, and try and get myself back to some semblance of normality.

Ok - I appreciate the thought - and the best bit (for me, anyway!) is the fact that we're going to go to the RHS garden at Rosemoor in Devon. (See http://www.rhs.org.uk/WhatsOn/gardens/rosemoor/index.asp)

That's something that I couldn't have done with my ex, as he wasn't that interested in gardening, despite agreeing to go to the Eden project with me (see http://www.edenproject.com/)

So, whatever else may have happened recently, I've got the better end of the deal - I'll be able to go and see things that I want to see - with the added bonus that Mum's a member of the RHS, so the admission will be free, and she can tell me about the plants that I don't recognise!

Suppose I should answer my 'phone before the damned thing drives me mad!

Back later.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Listening to my soul

I know this sounds crazy, but as I'm playing around on my computer at home, I'm using my Windows media player to play some of the music that I've got stored as MP3 files on my hard drive..

One of them is Muse - Sing for Absolution

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Tiptoe to your room
A starlight in the gloom
I only dream of you
And you never knew

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

There's nowhere left to hide
In no one to confide
The truth runs deep inside
And will never die

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

I won't remain unrectified
And our souls won't be absolved

I guess that in a way, this song sums up how I feel about someone. Don't get me wrong - I love my partner dearly, but this other person really brightens up my day, and always seems to have the knack of making me smile or laugh when I'm feeling low, or I feel like I'm going to burst into tears.

I know that people will be trying to guess who I mean, but that remains within my soul, as I have no intention of making a fool of myself or the other person - whom I respect as a person, as well as caring for them.

Time to call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be going out with my other half tonight.

Back tomorrow - if I get chance!

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

Authority forgets a dying king…

A quote from the closing speech delivered by Kevin Costner’s character, in Oliver Stone’s epic film JFK.

And no, I’m not just spouting the studio line when I call this film epic. It is. I’ve just spent the past three hours, totally entranced by a film, and that’s something that is quite unusual.

Ok, I enjoy watching various films, including the Mothman Prophecies (more on that in a bit), but this is one of the few films that I am proud to admit is in my DVD collection. I’ve had in my collection for about 3 / 4 months, and I’ve only just got ‘round to watching it. More to the point, I’ve only just managed to get the peace and quiet to do so!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not begrudging the fact that I spend time with my family / partner, but there are times when I just need a bit of peace and quiet, so that I can veg out, and do my own thing.

I also managed to watch the Mothman Prophecies. Ok – I know that it’s supposed to be based on a true story (isn’t this type of film always based on a true story?!) But to be honest, I was less than impressed. I guess that it was because I had great difficulty in overcoming my initial dislike of Richard Gere.

Despite that, it wasn’t that bad, but it’s not the sort of film that I would select as a DVD of first choice… 5th or 6th, maybe, but I’m afraid that I don’t rate it as highly as films such as Ben Hur, Lawrence of Arabia, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

But, as I type this, I’ve been digging through my CD collection, and managed to turn up one CD (I think it’s one of those compilation cds that I’ve done over the years – songs from all sorts of cds – everything from A-Ha, through to groups like Metallica) and it’s got one of the most emotive songs I’ve ever heard: it’s Scorpions – Wind of change:

I follow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change
An August summer night
Soldiers passing by
Listening to the winds of change

The world is closing in
Did you ever think?
That we could be so close, like brothers
The future's in the air
I can feel it everywhere
Blowing with the winds of change

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
In the winds of change

Walking down the street
Distant memories
Are buried in the past forever

I follow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
In the winds of change

The wind of change blows straight
Into the face of time
Like a storm wind that will ring
The freedom bell for peace of mind
Let your balalaika sing
What my guitar wants to say

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
In the winds of change

I guess that this song is rather appropriate, as my own life is changing, and I’m lucky enough to have people who care for me, helping me to cope with the changes, and giving me the strength of character I need to change what doesn’t suit me.

Time to call this entry quits- got stuff to do around the house before Mum gets back from work.

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down

How do you feel tonight?

In a word? Stuffed. Simply because my other half cooked dinner for us tonight, as he said that my cooking would put Lucriza Borgia to shame.

That and the fact that I lost a bet that I'd had with my other half. It wasn't for money or anything daft like that. No - this was more important to me - it involved my pride. The basis of the bet was the Calcutta Cup that England compete with Scotland for in the international rugby season.

If England won, then I would have to go into work on the first Friday after Easter (we're both off over the Easter bank holiday - here in the Midlands we have Good Friday and Easter Monday off) wearing an England rugby jersey. Ok - not a problem there, as my partner said that if Scotland won, then he would wear the Scotland rugby jersey for work.

To be honest, I didn't really expect Scotland to win, as the last time that they beat England at Twickenham was back in 1983, when Scotland won 22 - 12, and the last time that Scotland beat England in ANY international was back in 2000 at Murrayfield, the score that time being 19 -13.

Apart from that, I'm blissfully happy, and have been allowed to do nothing, apart from put my feet up and be treated like a princess. Especially when my other half found out (courtesy of Mum) that I'd been the one to drive back from the Isle of Wight, without letting her share the driving the way we did on the way to Lymington.

Needless to say, I got a ticking off for that, and reminded that I'm still recovering from a shoulder injury. As if I didn't need reminding of that fact. As I type this, my shoulder is killing me and the painkillers don't seem to have worked. But that could be due to the fact that it's only been about ½ hour since I took them, and it usually takes about ¾ hour to get any effect.

Despite that, I'm really happy, and know that I'll be able to weather any storm that may or may not be brewing when I get back to work on Monday...

The title of this entry comes from a Bryan Adams song: - How do you feel tonight? this is on the album A Day Like Today, and sums up just how I feel at this moment in time:

Is there anybody out there?
Anyone that's loved in vain
Anyone that feels the same


Is there anybody waiting?
Waiting for a chance to win
To give it up and start again


We all need something new
Something that is true
And someone else to feel it too


I feel so high - no one else would know it
I don't know why I feel the way I do
I can't let go - and I’m not scared to show it
Cuz being here feels right
Tell me - how do you feel tonight?


Is there anybody out there?
Anyone that can't explain
Anyone that feels no pain


Is there anybody dreaming
Dreaming of a better day
When everything goes your way


We all need something new
Something that is true
And someone else to feel it too
Someone just like you

Ah well, suppose I'd better log off and bog off - I've got to put up with the gloating and mickey taking...

Ain't love grand?

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down.

Knackered - but there's a good reason why....

I guess the title says it all. I had a brilliant time last night - even if I did get stuck in traffic on the way to my partner's place. Needless to say, I was less than impressed, but thankfully, my partner had got the shower ready for me to get into as soon as I arrived, and whilst I was in the shower, he very thoughtfully laid out my clothes for the evening.

We got to Nottingham, and managed to park quiet easily, and then headed into the concert.... What can I say about that, apart from WOW! Russell Watson was a true pro - belting out both classical opera arias, to my personal favorite: Where My Heart Will Take Me

It's been a long road, getting from there to here.
It's been a long time, but my time is finally near.
And I can feel the change in the wind right now, nothing's in my way.
And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not gonna hold me down.

Cause I've got faith of the heart,
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe, I can do anything..
I've got strength of the soul, and no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star,
I've got faith, faith of the heart.

It's been a long night, trying to find my way,
Been through the darkness, now I finally have my day.
And I will see my dream come alive at last.
I will touch the sky,
And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not gonna change my mind.

I've known the wind so cold,
I've seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain.
But I'll be fine ...

'Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe, I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul, and no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star,
I've got faith, faith of the heart.

'Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe, I can do anything.

I've got strength of the soul, and no one's gonna bend or break me.

I can reach any star,

I've got faith, faith of the heart.

Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe, I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul, and no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star,
I've got faith, faith of the heart.
 I know that this isn't strictly a classical piece, but it's one of my favourites, and it really lifts me when I'm feeling flat. After the concert,the pair of us went to dinner, and we finally got back home at 02:30 this morning! I slept in the car on the way down, and was only woken up when we'd arrived.

Despite that, I'm knackered today, but I know that the reason I'm knackered is because I had a really good time last night, and I know that all this has done is strengthen the bond between us, and that hopefully, we'll be able to withstand whatever life has to throw at the pair of us - both on a personal and professional level.

Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, instead of blogging, before I get strung up by my line manager....

Back later, if I get chance before I go to Physio today....

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

Catching up with the gossip - in the name of charity...

Just one of the things that I like about getting together with friends and work mates. And this time, it wasn't just an excuse to get pissed - it was to support the company's nominated charity - The Warwickshire & Northamptonshire Air Ambulance (please go to this link - http://www.wnaa.co.uk/ - it'll tell you all about the charity!)

It was a disco / raffle / auction / karaoke, held in Leamington. And yes - I did sing, OK - rephrase that - tried to sing. I did a duet with one of the senior managers, after I'd jokingly said to him that I would sing at the karaoke, if he'd sing with me.

Ok - not normally a problem, as I've said, I'm game for making an idiot of myself - especially in the name of charity. This time, however, I hadn't banked on going down with a stinking cold, and having very little voice left to sing, as I'd been at work, and my job involves an awful lot of talking.

My partner wasn't at the do, but he'd heard from people who were there, that Roger drowned me out. He did - simply because his voice was stronger than mine, and he also knew the song - it was Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers. If I'd had my way, we'd have done something like When you're Gone - by Bryan Adams & Mel C. But, beggars can't be choosers, and I will admit, I did enjoy myself...

The thing that I really enjoyed, was the chance to catch up with a certain person I'd not seen since January. Yep - you guessed it - my 'escort' from the post conference piss up. We sat talking about various bits and pieces - despite the fact that he was serously miffed that I'd not called him to let him know I was in Edinburgh last weekend!

When I pointed out that I'd been there for the rugby, he said he wasn't bothered about Rugby, as he couldn't stand the game, but would have joined up with me for a night out on the town! I also managed to find out a bit more information (for my own peace of mind) about the morning after the conference....

As I've said in a previous post, my line manager was rather subdued, and I always put this down to the size of his hangover.... Well, it turns out that the hangover was only part of the problem. The rest was due to a comment that was passed over breakfast at the hotel where they were all staying.....

"You've got good staff", was the comment that was passed by my escort, when he was asked if he'd had a good time the night before and apparently, my line manager looked stunned for a moment, and then started talking business!

My guess is he must have thought along the lines of 2 + 2 = 22. God knows what he thought I'd done - as I've said, this fella is married, and I was there with my partner! Still, it explains an awful lot.

Needless to say, I'm not stupid enough to say anything on Monday, as there are some ghosts that I wish to lay to rest / leave where they lie. If anything, talking to a couple of other people, it's taught me that people will see things as more involved than they really are - and draw their own conclusions - no matter what you may or may not say.

And this time, I left with another couple, and the fact that I was seen walking to my car can be vouched for. That and the fact that I drove over to my partner's home (where I'm updating my blog!) so hopefully, there won't be too many stupid comments...

Supposed I ought to log off and bog off - got to wrap Mum's Mother's Day present up...

Back later - possibly.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down

A good weekend (Nothing else matters)

This weekend has been far more fun than I'd expected it to be.. Simply because I was able to spend time with people I care about, and have a damned good time in the process!

Saturday, Mum and I went shopping to Merry Hill (a rather over-rated shopping centre in my opinion!) and then the real fun started on Saturday night... My friend Julian had invited me to an Erasure night at a club he regularly goes to, and told me to expect a shock when I saw him...

Shock was an understatement. He'd dyed his dark hair a startling white blond (think Billy Idol / Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer hair colour.) The disturbing thing was, he looked bloody good. But, that wasn't the only trick up his sleeve...

It turned out that this party was a Karoke party, and if you were dressed up as either Andy Bell, or Vince Clarke then you had to sing an Erasure track. Ok - no problem there, as Julian's got quite a good voice. The problem came when he decided that he would do Erasure's Abba cover - Voulez Vous, and required a singing partner.

No prizes for guessing who he roped in for that. Yep. Muggins. I will admit, I was more than a little apprehensive, but in the end thought "what the hell" and went for it.

Ok - I probably made a real prat of myself, but I was of the opinion that if I could cope with doing a presentation at the conference, I could cope with making an idiot of myself with a good mate.

I don't know what time I got to bed, but I seem to recall that it was the early (or not so early) hours of this morning... And I'd promised Mum that I'd take her to a garden centre at Wychbold, near Droitwich!

Thankfully, I'd not drunk that much, and got home in time to pick Mum up and take her to Webbs, as I'd promised. As I drove home, I was listening to Kerrang! on the radio, and they plated one of the few Metallica songs that I really like: -

Nothing Else MattersSo close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are

And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters


Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters


Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know


So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are

And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

I never opened myself this way

Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters


Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters


Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know


So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters

For some reason, this song really speaks to a part of me that few people (other than those who've know me more years than any of us like to admit to) know even exists in me. Ok - I know that I appear sarcastic, and malevolent, but appearances can be very deceiving..

But all the same, if you don't like claws, don't pull a tiger's tail!

Time to call it quits - I've got to be up at 04:15 tomorrow morning to deal with Flame - I'm still trying to get used to the way that she likes to play about!

Back tomorrow.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down.

Why can’t I sleep?

It’s crazy. I’m too wired to sleep, and I will admit, my brain cell has been racing, trying to work out the reasons why. I think the main reason is because I didn’t want to admit to myself how wound up I’d been about my review.

I know this sounds crazy, (and those people who know me will no doubt agree with me) but I was really worried. My boss was really pleased with me, and said that it was one of the easiest reviews that he’d had to do. (Guess I must be doing something right then!)

But, I know that I have no room for complacency, and in a way, I think I was sub-consciously prepping myself for a real kicking.

So, rather than lie in bed, feeling frustrated, as there is bugger all on TV worth watching (I refuse point blank to watch I’m a celebrity – get me out of here! – For those people who haven’t heard of / seen it – believe me, you’re not missing much!) I decided to do some updates for my blog.

I admit that I've not been updating it as much as I would like to, but given that my workload over the past few weeks or so has been horrific, I’ve hardly had chance to think straight, and when I get home, the last thing I want to do, is sit in front of a computer again!

As I type this entry, I must be a real glutton for punishment. I’m listening to a variety of music that I’ve copied onto my computer (ah, the joys of a 120 GB hard disk), and one of the songs is Eurythmics – Thorn in my side.

I will admit, it does remind me an awful lot of the way I’ve ended up feeling about my ex-fiancé. It talks about feeling emotionally overpowered by someone else, and that the only option left to the singer is to get the hell out of the relationship. See what you make of it…

Thorn in my side
Eurythmics [spoken] You gave me such a bad time
[spoken] Tried to hurt me
[spoken] But now I know

Thorn in my side
You know that’s all you ever were
A bundle of lies
You know that it’s all that it was worth

I should have known better
But I trusted you at first
I should have know better
But I got what I deserved

To run away from you
Was all that I could do
To run away from you
Was all that I could do
To run away from you
Was all that I could do
To run away from you
Was all that I could do

Thorn in my side
You know that’s all you’ll ever be
So don’t think you know better
‘Cause that’s what you mean to me

I was feeling complicated
I was feeling low
Now every time I think of you
I shiver to the bone

To run away from you
Was all that I could do
To run away from you

Run, run, run, run
Run, run, run, run
Run, run, run, run
Run, run, run, run
Run, run, run, run
Run, run, run, run
Run, run, run, run
Run, run, run, run
Run, run, run, run

To run away from you
Was all that I could do
To run away from you
Was all that I could do

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t regret getting involved with him the first time, but I should have listened to my gut instincts and stayed away when we first split up, instead of allowing myself to be talked into giving the relationship another try. Crazy I know, but again, another song sums up how low I was feeling towards the end of the relationship…

The Rasmus
The One I Love


Haven't slept in a week
My bed has become my coffin
Cannot breath, cannot speak
My head's like a bomb, still waiting
Take my heart and take my soul
I don't need them anymore

The one I love
Is striking me down on my knees
[The one I love] Drowning me in my dreams
[The one I love] Over and over again
Dragging me under

Hypnotized by the night
Silently rising beside me
Emptiness, nothingness
Is burning a hole inside me
Take my faith and take my pride
I don't need them anymore

The one I love
Is striking me down on my knees
Drowning me in my dreams
[The one I love] Over and over again
[The one I love] Dragging me under

This bed has become my chapel of stone
A garden of darkness to where I'm thrown
So take my life, I don't need it anymore

The one I love
Is striking me down on my knees
The one I love
Drowning me in my dreams
The one I love
Over and over again
Dragging me under

All I can say is thank God I got out before I married him – otherwise I would be in a bigger mess than I am now. Admittedly, I’m single and more than happy with that situation (despite what people may think – I don’t need to be arm candy for some fella – been there, done that and got the battle scars thank you very much!)

Ah well, suppose I'd better call this entry quits - I've got to be up and around in a few hours - I'm going Christmas shopping.

Back later - if I'm not too bumped, bruised and battered from the trip!

Karen.


Do spiders scream when they see a bug fat hairy human in the bath?

Messing with my head

No, I've not been indulging in illegal substances - it's what my ex-fiance is doing to me. He had a song, Hoobastank: - The Reason, dedicated to me.

Hoobastank The Reason

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

So, you can imagine how I felt, when I heard that! Especially as the message said that the song was dedicated to the only girl he ever really loved! ARRGH! *Moment of panic!*

That's the last thing I need at this moment in time - as life seems to be improving, and I'm more than happy on my own for the moment.

If I decide to hook up with someone, I can guarantee that he'll be the last person that I would consider - he made a mess of me the last time, and I'll be damned before I'll let him have another attempt!

I told my best mate what my ex had done, and was told in no uncertain terms that I would be a fool to even consider getting back with him.

I know he's right, and I'm refusing to answer my 'phone when he calls me, and on the odd occasion that he calls me at home, it's amazing how often I'm out!

Still, that's just one advantage of sounding like Mum on the 'phone - I can avoid talking to people that I don't want anything to do with!

Time to call this entry quits - I'm starting to get a bit upset...

Back later.

Possibly.

Karen.

Do spiders scream when they see a big fat hairy human in the bath?