Walking in the Shadows

Random musings from Warwickshire on life in general... Things that make me laugh, make me cry, things that wind me up beyond all endurance - and everything in between.

Taking a tumble..

I knew it was too good to last. I got thrown off Flame on Sunday...

Ok - I'd better explain what happened... Carole, Rachel and myself decided that we were going to spend a day riding in the Malvern hills...

That was ok, and we got there in one piece, and had gotten the horses tacked up, and the others were mounted up, and waiting for me, as I'd been checking to make sure that Flame's girth was tight enough, in order to stop the saddle slipping...

As I went to mount up, there was a lad with one of these stunt kites that makes a screeching noise as it flies, and I'd seen that Flame was not very happy with the noise, so I politely asked if he would wait for me to get on Flame and get moving, before he launched the kite...

Unfortunately for me, he launched the kite when I'd gotten in the saddle, and didn't have my feet on the stirrups... Which was a blessing in a way, as Flame went up on her back legs, I went off backwards, and she shot off like she was in the St Ledger!

Carole was an angel, and went after Flame for me, whilst Rachel made sure that I was ok, as I'd landed flat on my back. Thankfully, I'd got my body armor on, and was only bruised and winded, but that didn't stop me from going mad at the muppet who'd launched the kite...

"I didn't think the horse would react like that" came the dumb reply. Thanks. Even though I'd asked the muppet not to fly the kite, as there was a good chance that something like this could happen...

Thankfully, Flame was unhurt by her run, and I was able to get into the saddle - albeit rather painfully. The rest of the day was un-eventful, and I admit to walking like an old woman when I did dismount from Flame...

Ah well, suppose I should log off and bog off, I'm supposed to be going to see my other half!

Back later, if I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

I'm off to see the sawbones....

Scared. I've been to see the doctor again about my shoulder, and have been told that I need to keep resting the arm (boo, hiss) and that a referral to see an orthopaedic surgeon to get the shoulder sorted out.

Ok - I know that it could have been a lot worse - I could have been told that I needed another jab in my shoulder again, as I reacted so badly to the last two jabs!

So, until I get this sorted, I've been told that the only real treatment that I can have is rest and painkillers... Thankfully, I've not been banned from horse riding - but I accidentally on purpose neglected to mention that I was still riding...

Hmmm - suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I've got a severe case of TNFI...

Back when I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Ever felt like..............

Strangling someone? Well, I'm having one of those moments. It's one of those cases where I got caught a real blinder by a customer.... Because the guy he usually speaks to is on holiday, he decided to call me in the office...

Thanks. What I know about this guy's accounts, you can carve painlessly on my small fingernail, and still have room to spare. So, it was a case of the blind leading the blind clueless (me being blind clueless!)

Thankfully, I was able to get some help - even if it was a case of swallowing my pride a little bit... Simply because it was my partner who's help I was asking for! He said the he would help me out, as I'd admitted that I hadn't got the foggiest how to deal with the query...

I know damned well when I see him tonight, he's going to be making the most of the fact that I had to ask for help, but I'll accept the gentle ribbing that he'll give me tonight...

But that's not the only thing that's caught me on the hop in the past 24 hours.... My best mate called me last night, and as I was a bit dopey (I'd taken some pain killers to stop my shoulder hurting me), it took me a few minutes to guess what he was talking about...

"What's the one thing that I said I would never do?"

Me being dopey, couldn't exactly recall, as there were two things that he said he'd never do - one of them was get married again, and the other was cheat on his partner....

I said it was get married.. And boy was I wrong. It turned out that he's cheated on his partner. And it gets better. It was with his brother's ex-girlfriend.

He said that he needed to speak to someone (namely me) who could give him a few sensible answers, and wouldn't fly off the handle at him.

To be honest, I was too dopey to do anything apart from call him "a muppet", and ask him if he wanted to split up with his partner. The reply was something that I didn't expect...

"I love xxxx to bits, but the trouble is, I can see me and yyyy having a future together... I guess that I've not really been settled since xxxx dumped me via text a few weeks ago, and then got back with me..."

That's all very well, but the trouble that it would cause between him and his brother is not something that I wish to contemplate - as his brother has an explosive temper, and my friend has said this lass is not worth all the hassle that it would cause him...

He said that he would call me tonight, and sit and talk with me, as he needed me to be my normal objective self to help him get his head 'round a few things...

At the end of the day, it's his decision - all I can do is provide a friendly (or not so friendly) ear to bend...

Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I'm suffering from terminal TNFI.....

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Something that made me laugh, and brightened anotherwise dull day...

These are just a couple of jokes that have made me smile today....

ETHICAL QUESTION:

In light of the news of the so-called human cloning going on, we have to ask ourselves the hypothetical question:

If you pushed your naked clone off the top of a tall building, would it be:

A) murder,
B) suicide, or
C) merely making an obscene clone fall


The other joke was this one:


Interesting Observations


1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.


2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.


3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"


4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.


5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."


6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.


7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.


8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.


10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.


11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.


12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.


13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I have stayed alive.


14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?


15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?


16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?


17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"


19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn.. that was fun!"-


20. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!


21. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunk y dunk."


22. The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them


23. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.


24. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?


25. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.


26. My husband says I never listen to him (at least I think that's what he said).


27. Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.


28. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called LABOR!


29. Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.


Hmm - suppose I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - not that I have much interest in that at the moment!

Back when I get chance...

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Just a little something to make you smile

This was sent to me by a fella, and I get the impression that he was hinting at something!

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife."The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.

Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming,crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

MORAL: Women are evil. Don't mess with them

Pass on this advice !!

Hmm - suppose I should think about doing some work, but I have got no interest at all...

Back later, if I get chance...

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Joining the MP3 player brigade...

Well, I've done it. I've bought myself an MP3 player. It's a good sized one - 1GB, and I transferred all of the music that I have on my computer (the tracks that I like!), and I've still got free space.

Not that I'm complaining - far from it. I'll be taking it with me when I go on holiday, and also when I travel to Dublin in November, for White Wolf's 30th birthday...

My partner thought I was daft, until he listened to it last night (after I'd copied the music and travelled down to see him), and has now decided that he wants to get one himself, as his taste in music is different to mine - I've got things like AC/DC, Metallica and Edwyn Collins...

Despite this, I'm more than happy, and will be taking it into work to listen to during my lunch-break - that way there's no way that people will be able to disturb me unless I take one of the ear-pieces out of my ear, or my alarm goes off on my 'phone...

Suppose I should think about doing some work, but I'm suffering from a case of severe TNFI........

Back later, if I get chance...

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Too wired to sleep, but I’m exhausted…

I’ve got the worst of both worlds. I’m sitting here at my partner’s computer at 02:00 BST, as I’m too damned wired to sleep, after everything that has gone on this week, but equally, I'm mentally and phyically exhausted.

My partner has been a real angel, and has treated me like a princess. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t object to that – it’s nice to be spoilt occasionally, but I’m one of these peculiar people who prefers to fight her own battles, and it still rankles that I’ve let myself get so damned wound up over one account.

You think I need you but I don’t
You think I’ll break down but I won’t
And you’ve had everything you’re gonna get from me
Saw your pleasure in my pain
And you released me from my chains
And I woke up to my own insanity
Waiting for changes
That were never gonna come


So, starting from next week, I’m going to put all this crap behind me, and move on. Ok – I admit that it’s not going to be easy, as I’m going to attend my friend’s funeral next Friday. But, with the love and help from my partner and my friends, I should be able to survive, and start thriving again.

Now onto something that I found on BBC on-line – that made me smile…

A frog species which had a distinct Norfolk accent, but which became extinct in England in the 19901s is being reintroduced.

About 70 northern pool frogs – one of Europe’s rarest species – will be reintroduced to Norfolk by English Nature and partners on Friday.

The frog was thought to be a European import, but researchers have now found they are native to East Anglia.

Recordings of mating Norfolk frogs show they had a characteristic inflection.

Archaeological investigations revealed pool frog remains around old Saxon sites in Cambridgeshire and Lincolnshire.

But fenland drainage led to the frog’s extinction before its native status was recognised. The pool frogs released on Friday were captured in a wildlife rich region in Uppsala in Sweden earlier this week.

The frogs will be released at a secret location near Thetford in Norfolk, to guard against theft by amphibian collectors.

Habitats at the site, including special ponds called pingos, have been restored by the Forestry Commission over the last few years.

English Nature’s amphibian specialist, Jim Foster, said: “Piecing together what happened to pool frogs has proved to be a real detective story.

“The frog’s distinctive Norfolk accent, the buried remains and genetic studies all provided crucial clues.

“It has taken nearly 10 years of research, involving people across Europe, to get to the bottom of this mystery and today is the culmination of all that effort”


Part of me thinks that the people who did this research have way too much time on their hands, but who am I to comment?

Suppose I should log off and bog off – I’ve got to get some sleep in what remains of the night…

Back later.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Handing over part of a poisoned chalice

Well, I'm happier than I was. Unfortunately, I've still got to deal with the one account that I hate, but at least it has been lightened a little bit - I'm passing on the other part of the poisoned chalice to one of my colleagues.

The OTR side is being left alone, as I made it very plain that was non-negotiable, and thankfully, it sounds like the feedback that is going to my line manager is very positive (I guess going on the training course was more beneficial than I'd realised)...

However, the reason that I'm being left with part of this damned chalice is because my line manager wants me to re-build my confidence and my professional reputation with other people within the company.

Ah well, as the day draws to a close, I guess that things could have been an awful lot worse...

Time to log off & bog off - it's escape time!

Back later, if I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Getting the Tiger's roar back...

Well, I'm happier than I was yesterday, but that's only because two of the people I really care about have been absolute angels, and helped me get back on my 'paws'.

One of them was my daft hog riding friend, who was a real gem, and made me laugh by telling me about things that he used to do in previous jobs, as well as telling me not to take things too personally - especially where my work is concerned!

The other person was my partner, who came up to see me, and when he realised how down I really was, took me out for a drink, and a chill out at a pub that he knows, in a village between our homes...

I hadn't had anything to eat, simply because when I got home last night, I was far too uptight to eat... So, in theory, I should have been plastered by the time he dropped me off back home last night... But as per normal, the theory didn't follow the actual result - I was stone-cold sober.

Ok - I wouldn't have risked driving, but I was no-where near being drunk, and my partner was a real gent - he made sure that I was in the house ok before he left, and sent me a text message to let me know that he was home ok.

Time to call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be going into a meeting in a couple of minutes...

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Changing from wood to steel

Well, I've hit the bottom, and have now been given the ammunition to fight back - with true tiger-like vengance.

The thing that has really annoyed me more than anything else, is that I've been blamed for stock not being sent in, when the details that I have to hand state that the tyres are there for the customer!

Whilst I don't mind admitting that I'm far from perfect, I object to getting blamed for something that is beyond my control. Ok - I'm not slinging boulders / bricks or anything else for that matter, but it just irritates me that I'm the one getting the knife (or machete) in the back.

But, I guess that at this moment in time, the best thing I can do is bide my time, and then use the ammunition that I have at the right time....

Nearly time for lunch - not that I'm in the mood to eat!

Back later, if I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

It's not easy when you don't know why...

Well, I guess I do know why I feel so down. My friend died at 10:30 yesterday morning, and I've made a boo-boo with a delivery - it should have been a collection!

The worst part is, I feel like I've let everyone down - including myself, and I can hardly type for the tears that keep welling up in my eyes.

My line manager has been a real angel - he's realised that I'm starting to crack under the strain of my workload, and has said that he wants to talk to me tomorrow about what the team can do to help me get back to my old self.

I've already admitted that I'm quite willing to relinquish the one account that gives me so much grief, but I'm not going to lose the OTR side of things, not when I've done so much damned work to bring my knowledge base up to a level where I can be of some use to the guys in the field.

Thankfully, he's said that he's happy with me doing the OTR side of things, as he knows how much I enjoy working on that, but there are several bits that he thinks I could use some help with - and he's determined to avoid allowing this one account to think that they've got more power than they really have, and help me re-build my confidence back up to the level it was before I got crushed by everything hitting me all at once.

Time to get on with some work - I'm determined to clear my name on where some of the crap is concerned!!

Back later.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Miracles do happen...

Well, I've been able to beg / borrow / steal the six tyres that my colleague needed to help his customer with. I was joking about him owing me a very large G & T when he next sees me, as I've saved him from getting some serious grief from the customer.

But the only way I could do it, was to enlist the help of two of the other guys in the field, and ask if I could 'borrow' the tyres that were supposed to be going out to their customers.

Then, once I'd gotten the tyres, it was just a case of making sure that no-one-else could swipe them off me, and calling my colleague to let him know that I'd gotten the tyres.

Hmm - suppose I shoud call this entry quits - I've got work to do, as I want to be out of here on time tonight...

Back when I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Put my head on the block for you? No chance.

The title sums up my feelings about a request. Ok - the person who's made the request is someone whom I have a lot of time for, but not when it means that I'll be the one to get lynched.

Why do I say this? Simple. Because the tyres that he wants are on a back order, and there's not enough stock to clear all the back orders. The crux of the matter being the mere fact that I've been told by my colleague in logistics - trying to complete the order would be a case of "which customer do you want to piss off?"

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have an issue, as I would call my normal contact, and get the go-ahead that way. But as my contact is on vacation for two weeks, I'm unwilling to put my head on the block, and get sliced up because I've bounced a customer (or two) to help this guy out.

So, all I can do is wait and see what response I get to the voicemail I've left, and see what happens from there. I have got a get-out clause that involves a director giving the go-ahead, but I'm keeping that in reserve, as I really don't want to alienate the rest of the guys that I work with, just to help out one fella.

Suppose I should look like I'm working, but to be honest, I've got no interest at all....

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Life never seems to go smoothly...

Well, this week has been somewhat of a roller-coaster for me. And for once, it's not my family that's suffering - it's a long standing friend of mine and Mum's who's suffering.

The lady had a stroke on Sunday, and her family is understandably devastated, especially when they get told that she won't be going home from hospital. I'm of the opinion that the lady is a tough ol' buzzard and that she'll pull though - and have said the same thing to her son, which made him laugh.

We (her son and I) are going to visit his Mum in hospital tomorrow night, and my other half has told me not to worry about going over to his place after I get back from the hospital, if I don't feel like I can face the drive over there, but he'll be on the end of a 'phone if I need to talk to someone.

On a positive note, my friend White Wolf is escaping to Ireland to start his new job with Apple in Cork. He leaves the UK shores tonight, and has said that he'll be out of contact for a while, whilst he gets himself settled in, and sees how the land lies...

So, in honor of his escape, I've been able to find this Irish joke....

Paddy the famous Irishman is driving home after downing a few at the local pub. He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road.


He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realizes that there is yet another tree directly in his path.

He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees.


Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop. The officer, approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on earth he was doing.


Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the officer stops him mid sentence and says,


"Fer Chris sakes, Paddy, that's yer air freshener!"

Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I really have a case of TNFI....

Back when I get chance...

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Something that made me laugh....

This got sent to me by my daft friend - he said that it was appropriate, given the fact that I'm an F1 fan....

The Mclaren Formula 1 Team have sacked their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Mclaren's decision to take advantage of the UK Government's Youth Opportunity scheme and employ people from Liverpool.

The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from the Toxteth area were able to remove all the wheels in less than 6 seconds, using only a bottle jack, a Halfords multi-purpose wheel-brace and 4 bricks, whereas Mclaren's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of dollars worth of high tech equipment.

Tony Blair went on record as saying this was a bold move by the Mclaren management, which demonstrated the international recognition of the UK under New Labour. As most races are won and lost in the pits, Mclaren now have a greater advantage over every team.

However, Mclaren may have got more than they bargained for... At the crew's final practice session, the Chirpy Scousers successfully changed the tyres in under 6 seconds, but then within another 25 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle to the Ferrari team for 8 cans of Tennants Super, half a kilo of Charlie and some photos of Schumacher's Mrs in the shower.

Hmm - suppose I should think about doing some work, but I'm not really interested at the moment!

Back when I get chance...

Karen

I walk where others fear to tread

At last - Probate has been granted!!

There's nothing like a message giving good news to brighten a crappy day up. When I got home, there was a message on the answerphone from the family solicitor to say that we've finally got probate granted.

Ok - I know in a previous post, I said that I wouldn't get the family solicitor involved, but as it turned out, it was probably the smartest move that Mum and I could have made, as the Probate court seemed determined to declare that Dad died intestate - when both Mum and I knew that there was a valid will.

I know this sounds horrible, but as an only child, when Mum dies, I'll inherit the whole estate. But for the moment, as far as I'm concerned, taking anything from Dad's estate would feel wrong and I would feel like I was profiting from Dad's death.

Hmm - suppose I should call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be going my partner's for dinner...

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Damned if I do, damned if I don't...

That sums up the way I'm feeling at work at this moment in time. One of the accounts I have the misfortune to look after seem to take great delight in picking holes in every little thing that I do, and I'm getting more than a little fed up.

Ok - I'm partly responsible for a couple of hiccups - but the other bits have been beyond my sphere of influence. Despite this, I'm still the one that gets kicked in the teeth, and I'm getting seriously fed up.

It's said that the customer is always right - this one is a right pain in the ****, and I'm getting really fed up with the niggles that keep arising on this one account.

It wouldn't be so bad, but as well as dealing with them, I'm the main contact in the office for the earthmover / industrial tyres, and most of the guys in the field seem to prefer dealing with me, so that means that I'm having to keep my eye on what's happening with those orders as well!

Ok - I haven't got a problem with that, but it irritates the c*rp out of me when people outside of the department start kicking off because of an error on my part, and blame me for someone-else's mistakes as well.

Ah well, enough grumbling for today.... Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I'm suffering from a severe case of TNFI - totally no ******g interest.

Back when I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Getting back in the swing...

Well, I'm back to the posting habit, and there's been so much going on my my life, I just don't quite know where to start!

After I'd spoken to my best mate, I didn't hear anything, and thought that he'd pulled some little dolly bird, and was making the most of his time with her... Nothing could have been futher from the truth!

It turned out that his estranged girlfriend contacted him a couple of hours after we'd spoken, and said that she wanted to see him, and that was it - they were back together, and he didn't go out clubbing after all...

As for me, well things are moving along at a gentle pace, which suits me in a way, as I'm trying to recover from my shoulder injury (I've had the second jab in the joint) and have been banned from horse riding for the next 2 weeks - which is driving me barmy.

My significant other (who has asked to remain namless) has also asked me not to go to any track days whilst I'm banned from horse riding, as he said that the horse riding ban would be pointless if I was slinging the Peugot 'round a racetrack.

Admittedly, I can see his point, but I have to admit, the slow pace of life that these enforced bans have imposed on me is starting to get to me a bit. But, I'm lucky enough to have people life my daft Hog riding friend to keep me sane, and make me laugh with all sorts of revolting jokes - this one being one of the cleaner ones!

Why I Fired My Secretary.....


Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy birthday!", and possibly have a present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."


I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids came into breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "good morning, boss, happy birthday!" It felt a little better that at least some had rembered.



I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks
Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"


Wen went to lunch, but we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a provate table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.


On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go back to go back to the office do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said,

"Let's go back to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't ming I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back."

"Ok." I nervously replied

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... Followed by my wife, kids and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday."


And I just sat there...


On the couch...


Naked
.



Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I've got to admit, I've got no interest at all, but I guess that's what comes of working on a nice sunny day!

Back when I get chance...

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread