I’ve only managed to get about 2 hrs sleep last night – for several reasons. The main one being the fact that I was on the ‘phone to my friend last night…
It turned out that he’d been having problems for a while, and they managed to get things sorted out for a couple of days, then things would start to slide back to where they were before they tried to sort thing out.
In the end, he said that it was a relief when she sent him a text message to say that she wanted to call it quits, and didn’t want him to contact her. I will admit, I was more than a little surprised that he was so rational, as I though that he’d been really keen on her…
He’s also made plans to go out on the pull on Saturday night, and has said that he plans on getting himself back into the field of play sooner rather than later.
So, we sat up talking until the extremely small hours – and finally called it quits at about 03:20…
Hmmm - my phone's ringing... Guess I should think about answering it...
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread.
So much for a happy ending...
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And no – it’s not me that’s gone splat in a relationship. It’s my best mate. He sent me a text message earlier today, to say that his girlfriend had just dumped him by text.
To say I was surprised was an understatement, as I was under the impression that things were going really well…
He seems to be coping ok, but I’ll reserve judgment until I speak to him tonight, as he said that he’ll call me later and let me know what’s happened, and fill me in on other bits and pieces…
Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but my heart’s not really in it, as my partner is going away for a couple of days on business…
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread.
To say I was surprised was an understatement, as I was under the impression that things were going really well…
He seems to be coping ok, but I’ll reserve judgment until I speak to him tonight, as he said that he’ll call me later and let me know what’s happened, and fill me in on other bits and pieces…
Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but my heart’s not really in it, as my partner is going away for a couple of days on business…
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread.
Back from my travels – Part IV - The road home
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The final day of our stay, Mum and I went to the Fleet Air Arm museum at Yeovilton - where one of the Concorde prototypes was located.
Most of the museum was poorly lit, and I admit that the date on the camera was set wrong - I'd neglected to check this when I selected this feature!!
Some of the display were quite good - I loved the display in the second hall, where the WWII aircraft were - the photograph below being one of my favorites:
However, I admit that my real favorite display was Concorde.
I have to admit, seeing the aircraft up close was a real treat, and I didn't realise just how narrow the aisle was!
As this aircraft was the prototype, there was still the test equipment on-board...
But the real surprise was the size of the cockpit!
The outside of the aircraft was just as beautiful as I'd always remembered:
Hmmm - time to call this entry quits - don't want to blot my copy book by getting caught blogging instead of working!
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Most of the museum was poorly lit, and I admit that the date on the camera was set wrong - I'd neglected to check this when I selected this feature!!
Some of the display were quite good - I loved the display in the second hall, where the WWII aircraft were - the photograph below being one of my favorites:
However, I admit that my real favorite display was Concorde.
I have to admit, seeing the aircraft up close was a real treat, and I didn't realise just how narrow the aisle was!
As this aircraft was the prototype, there was still the test equipment on-board...
But the real surprise was the size of the cockpit!
The outside of the aircraft was just as beautiful as I'd always remembered:
Hmmm - time to call this entry quits - don't want to blot my copy book by getting caught blogging instead of working!
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Back from my travels - Part III - The road to Taunton
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On Thursday, after Mum and I had been to the Eden project, we decided that we would stay in Taunton so that I could go to the Fleet Air Arm museum at Yeovilton - where Concorde had been taken to...
Normally, the route would have been the A30, straight to Taunton - all dual carrigeway. Ok - there's nothing wrong with that, apart from the fact that it's as boring as hell for both the driver (Mum) and the passenger (me).
Them, once we were off Dartmoor, we did use part of the A30... And alongside, were several windfarms. To be honest, I can see why the locals object - the turbines aren't the prettiest of things to look at...
I also managed to get another photograph - not bad from a car doing 70mph...
Hmm... Suppose I should call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be working.
Karen
I walk where others fear to tread
Normally, the route would have been the A30, straight to Taunton - all dual carrigeway. Ok - there's nothing wrong with that, apart from the fact that it's as boring as hell for both the driver (Mum) and the passenger (me).
So, we decided to go across Dartmoor - right past Dartmoor jail!
Them, once we were off Dartmoor, we did use part of the A30... And alongside, were several windfarms. To be honest, I can see why the locals object - the turbines aren't the prettiest of things to look at...
I also managed to get another photograph - not bad from a car doing 70mph...
However, any joy that I felt on my holiday was cut off at the pass, when I turned on the news, and saw that London had been attacked. How these people can claim to be doing this in the name of Islam is beyond me, as Islam preaches peace - not violence!
Hmm... Suppose I should call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be working.
Karen
I walk where others fear to tread
Back from my travels – Part II – the Eden project…
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On Tuesday, Mum and I travelled from our overnight stopping point at Barnstaple, to Bodmin, where we’d planned to visit the Eden Project at St Austell.
As Mum and I had gotten what they call fast track tickets, it meant that we didn't have to queue up to get our admission sticker. Once we’d gotten our admission sticker, the Biomes came into view…
As we got into the main entrance, we had the option of going right to the Temperate biome, and left to the Tropical Biome – we opted for the Tropical Biome.
The humidity was an awful lot higher than either Mum or myself could remember it being and this was confirmed by one of the guides who said that the humidity hadn’t been as high as this for a couple of years!
But, I managed to achieve one of my ambitions: - and that was get to the top of the stairs of the biome, and gets a view of things from the top!
At the top, there was the most welcome thing of all – a waterfall!
I will admit to standing in front of the waterfall as I took the picture and enjoying the spray that came off it – wonderfully cooling!
But that wasn’t the reason that I’d gone up there. I’d wanted to take some ‘photos of the Biome from a viewpoint that I’d not been able to manage in the past…
This shot shows just how lush the foliage really was - the view was something to behold!
This shot shows Pete the Panther - and I thought his expression was really sweet!
These are the famous Amazon waterlillys - the full sized leaf can hold a small child!
Then, it was into the Temperate Biome - which tends to be far more seasonal than the Tropical Biome.. Not to mention cooler and more comfortable to explore!
The Temperate Biome had a real mix of planting schemes, with plants from various regions of the world...
It also had an exhibit of vines -with statues in it, called The Rites of Diyonisus
There was also a waterfall in the Temperate Biome, but as the heat wasn't as great, I was able to appreciate the beauty a little more...
Unlike the Tropical Biome, the Temperate Biome had quite a few statues - this one made me smile - they're pigs.....
Then, it was out of the Biomes, and head for the outdoors...
But the one thing (apart from the Bumble Bee statue) that took my breath away was this:
It's amazing to see just what was used to make this statue - I was able to identify about 6 different items.
When we got back to the main entrance area, there was an announcment over the tannoy to say that London had won the 2012 Olympics... There were some French tourists in the same area as Mum and myself, and they looked really sick - as Paris had been expected to win!
Hmm... Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk....
Back later, if I get the chance...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
This is the first thing that you see as you enter the Eden Project - the Eden Horse. It's a driftwood sculpture, and it's one of those things that sticks in the mind...
As Mum and I had gotten what they call fast track tickets, it meant that we didn't have to queue up to get our admission sticker. Once we’d gotten our admission sticker, the Biomes came into view…
The Live 8 stage was still in place - it was located in an outside exhibition area, and behind it, the Tropical Biome on the left, and the Temperate Biome on the right…
As the Eden project was built in the remains of a quarry, the walk down would have tired Mum out, so we got the Land train down to the biomes. This land train was a series of carriages (of a fashion) pulled by a tractor! (They're in the top left hand corner of the picture below)
As the Eden project was built in the remains of a quarry, the walk down would have tired Mum out, so we got the Land train down to the biomes. This land train was a series of carriages (of a fashion) pulled by a tractor! (They're in the top left hand corner of the picture below)
Once we got to bottom, we saw the second of the things that will always stick in my mind – the bumble bee statue!
As we got into the main entrance, we had the option of going right to the Temperate biome, and left to the Tropical Biome – we opted for the Tropical Biome.The humidity was an awful lot higher than either Mum or myself could remember it being and this was confirmed by one of the guides who said that the humidity hadn’t been as high as this for a couple of years!
But, I managed to achieve one of my ambitions: - and that was get to the top of the stairs of the biome, and gets a view of things from the top!
I will admit to standing in front of the waterfall as I took the picture and enjoying the spray that came off it – wonderfully cooling!
But that wasn’t the reason that I’d gone up there. I’d wanted to take some ‘photos of the Biome from a viewpoint that I’d not been able to manage in the past…
This shows the side of the quarry that the biomes are situated in - as well as showing the mist that was swirling in the top of the Biome...
This shot shows just how lush the foliage really was - the view was something to behold!
This shot shows Pete the Panther - and I thought his expression was really sweet!
These are the famous Amazon waterlillys - the full sized leaf can hold a small child!
Then, it was into the Temperate Biome - which tends to be far more seasonal than the Tropical Biome.. Not to mention cooler and more comfortable to explore!
The Temperate Biome had a real mix of planting schemes, with plants from various regions of the world...
It also had an exhibit of vines -with statues in it, called The Rites of Diyonisus
There was also a waterfall in the Temperate Biome, but as the heat wasn't as great, I was able to appreciate the beauty a little more...
Unlike the Tropical Biome, the Temperate Biome had quite a few statues - this one made me smile - they're pigs.....
Then, it was out of the Biomes, and head for the outdoors...
But the one thing (apart from the Bumble Bee statue) that took my breath away was this:
It's amazing to see just what was used to make this statue - I was able to identify about 6 different items.
When we got back to the main entrance area, there was an announcment over the tannoy to say that London had won the 2012 Olympics... There were some French tourists in the same area as Mum and myself, and they looked really sick - as Paris had been expected to win!
Hmm... Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk....
Back later, if I get the chance...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Back from my travels... Part I - The road to Cornwall
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Well, I'm back from the West country, and to be honest, I feel like my batteries have been recharged. The weather was quite good - apart from Monday, when it rained on the way down, as well as raining whilst Mum and I were at RHS Rosemoor.
As I took my new toy with me, there'll be loads of piccys - and I'll split the details of the holiday into three parts - this first part will cover the trip down south, as well as the trip to RHS Rosemoor.
The trip down was unexceptional - Mum and I stopped off at Street in Somerset - where the Clarkes Shopping Village is. (See http://www.clarksvillage.co.uk/ for details.)
There were a variety of shops - my favorite being the Cadbury's factory shop - but only because I was able to get my two favorite sweets - Cadbury's Finger of Fudge and Milk bottle gums - sweets shaped like milk bottles, and are made with - milk.
We then headed to Rosemoor. As Mum wasn't feeling too good, we had a coffee, and plotted the route 'round the gardens, taking in the bits that were of interest to us both...
This was the first part that we looked at - the so-called Modern Rose garden. Not really a very good description in my opinion, as there were the so-called Old Roses - things like Rosa versicolour:
As I took my new toy with me, there'll be loads of piccys - and I'll split the details of the holiday into three parts - this first part will cover the trip down south, as well as the trip to RHS Rosemoor.
The trip down was unexceptional - Mum and I stopped off at Street in Somerset - where the Clarkes Shopping Village is. (See http://www.clarksvillage.co.uk/ for details.)
There were a variety of shops - my favorite being the Cadbury's factory shop - but only because I was able to get my two favorite sweets - Cadbury's Finger of Fudge and Milk bottle gums - sweets shaped like milk bottles, and are made with - milk.
We then headed to Rosemoor. As Mum wasn't feeling too good, we had a coffee, and plotted the route 'round the gardens, taking in the bits that were of interest to us both...
This was the first part that we looked at - the so-called Modern Rose garden. Not really a very good description in my opinion, as there were the so-called Old Roses - things like Rosa versicolour:
The beds themselves were well planned, and the majority of the roses were ones that Mum and I had seen at David Austin Roses, in Albrighton (See http://www.davidaustinroses.com/).
Despite the name, the rose garden contained other plants - one of my favorites being the hardy Geranium:
We then walked through one of the paths framed by one of the so-called Long Borders...
This long border had a mixture of perennial and annual plants - my favorite being the yellow Hemerocalis - I've got no idea which variety it is, as there was no lable in front of it...
This then lead to the herb garden, where I saw the most magnificent display of poppies. Not just any poppies - these particular poppies were Papavier somniforum - more commonly known as Opium poppies:
But these plants were not being used for illegal drug production - they were being used to provide a stunning backdrop to other plants that were in the herb garden...
Suppose I should call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be sorting out my damned e-mails, not blogging!
Back with more info on my holiday later, if I get the chance!
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Something that made me cry, and made me smile...
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Well, I'm getting packed ready to go away tomorrow, and I've been playing with my new toy - a digital camera.
I'd been considering one for quite a while, and I've finally taken the plunge and bought one as part of a package with the matching printer. It's a Kodak, with 3.1 megapixels, and does as much as my big Olympus analogue camera, for a fraction of the size!
As I prepared this blog entry, I was listening to my normal radio station, when I heard a dedication to me, from this fella that I've started to see... It was a bit of an unusual choice, I will admit, but as soon as I heard the opening bars, I knew the song - it was Metallica - Nothing Else Matters.
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters
The message just said that he would miss me whilst I was away, and that I was to take care, and come back safe and well.
I will admit, the tears started escaping when I heard that, and as soon as the song was finished, I called him... He said that he'd been expecting me to call him, as he'd remembered that I have a habit of listening to the radio on a Sunday morning, and knew that my preferred station was Kerrang!
But he soon had me laughing, by telling me a joke... I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'd already had the joke e-mailed to me at work, so I've just copied the joke and posted it on my blog...
One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark".
Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being. Anything you want,after all you're the guv'"
But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time Noah, I don't want just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other".
"20 DECKS!" screams Noah "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"
"Yep, that's right, well. Sort of right. This time I want you to fill it up with fish", God answers.
"Fish?" queries Noah.
"Yep, fish. Well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!"
Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?"
"Check."
"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?"
"Check."
"And you want it full of Carp?"
"Check."
"Why?" Asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.
"Dunno," says God, "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark."
Guess I should call this entry quits - still got stuff to do around the house before the Grand Prix...
Back after my holiday.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
I'd been considering one for quite a while, and I've finally taken the plunge and bought one as part of a package with the matching printer. It's a Kodak, with 3.1 megapixels, and does as much as my big Olympus analogue camera, for a fraction of the size!
As I prepared this blog entry, I was listening to my normal radio station, when I heard a dedication to me, from this fella that I've started to see... It was a bit of an unusual choice, I will admit, but as soon as I heard the opening bars, I knew the song - it was Metallica - Nothing Else Matters.
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters
The message just said that he would miss me whilst I was away, and that I was to take care, and come back safe and well.
I will admit, the tears started escaping when I heard that, and as soon as the song was finished, I called him... He said that he'd been expecting me to call him, as he'd remembered that I have a habit of listening to the radio on a Sunday morning, and knew that my preferred station was Kerrang!
But he soon had me laughing, by telling me a joke... I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'd already had the joke e-mailed to me at work, so I've just copied the joke and posted it on my blog...
One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark".
Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being. Anything you want,after all you're the guv'"
But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time Noah, I don't want just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other".
"20 DECKS!" screams Noah "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"
"Yep, that's right, well. Sort of right. This time I want you to fill it up with fish", God answers.
"Fish?" queries Noah.
"Yep, fish. Well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!"
Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?"
"Check."
"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?"
"Check."
"And you want it full of Carp?"
"Check."
"Why?" Asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.
"Dunno," says God, "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark."
Guess I should call this entry quits - still got stuff to do around the house before the Grand Prix...
Back after my holiday.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
You want me to do what??
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Miss a Grand Prix to go shopping? No chance.
That's what the 'phone call was about. The fella that's been making life bearable since I split up with my ex, wanted to take me shopping tomorrow.
I know this may sound surprising - a woman turning down a shopping trip, but unfortunately (or fortunately) for the fella concerned, there's the small matter of the French Grand Prix at Mangy-Cours to be dealt with.
Thankfully, he was really sweet about it, and said that he'd forgotten that the race was on, and if he'd realised, he would have asked me to go out with him today.
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters
That made me smile, and I told him that I appreciated the offer, but it would have to wait for a while, as the weekend I get back from Cornwall, I'm off to Silverstone for the British Grand Prix, and the following weekend? I'm hoping to be able to meet up with my daft friend, so I'll have to see what happens.
Not that I'm trying to avoid going shopping with him - far from it. It's just that life's a bit on the hectic side at the moment, and I'm finding it a bit tough to fit in all of my commitments to friends and family!
Time to call this entry quits, I've got bits and pieces to sort out on the computer...
Back tomorrow, if I get chance - otherwise it'll be round about the 11th of July, to allow for me to escape to Silverstone.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
That's what the 'phone call was about. The fella that's been making life bearable since I split up with my ex, wanted to take me shopping tomorrow.
I know this may sound surprising - a woman turning down a shopping trip, but unfortunately (or fortunately) for the fella concerned, there's the small matter of the French Grand Prix at Mangy-Cours to be dealt with.
Thankfully, he was really sweet about it, and said that he'd forgotten that the race was on, and if he'd realised, he would have asked me to go out with him today.
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters
That made me smile, and I told him that I appreciated the offer, but it would have to wait for a while, as the weekend I get back from Cornwall, I'm off to Silverstone for the British Grand Prix, and the following weekend? I'm hoping to be able to meet up with my daft friend, so I'll have to see what happens.
Not that I'm trying to avoid going shopping with him - far from it. It's just that life's a bit on the hectic side at the moment, and I'm finding it a bit tough to fit in all of my commitments to friends and family!
Time to call this entry quits, I've got bits and pieces to sort out on the computer...
Back tomorrow, if I get chance - otherwise it'll be round about the 11th of July, to allow for me to escape to Silverstone.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
So I dub thee unforgiven...
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That's the way that I'm dealing with my ex. Ok - I know that it sounds like I'm being incredibly vindictive and nasty, but given the way I'm feeling, I feel entirely justified to react like this.
If I'd had my way, I would have spoken to him face to face, instead of showing the distinct lack of courage and splitting up with him in a 'phone call.
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven
You labeled me
I'll label you
So I dub thee unforgiven
As for my holiday next week, I'm still going to Devon and Cornwall - but I'm traveling with Mum instead. After I'd split up with my ex, Mum made the suggestion that I still went, but that she came with me, as she said that it would be the best thing I could do - get away from the area for a few days, and try and get myself back to some semblance of normality.
Ok - I appreciate the thought - and the best bit (for me, anyway!) is the fact that we're going to go to the RHS garden at Rosemoor in Devon. (See http://www.rhs.org.uk/WhatsOn/gardens/rosemoor/index.asp)
That's something that I couldn't have done with my ex, as he wasn't that interested in gardening, despite agreeing to go to the Eden project with me (see http://www.edenproject.com/)
So, whatever else may have happened recently, I've got the better end of the deal - I'll be able to go and see things that I want to see - with the added bonus that Mum's a member of the RHS, so the admission will be free, and she can tell me about the plants that I don't recognise!
Suppose I should answer my 'phone before the damned thing drives me mad!
Back later.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
If I'd had my way, I would have spoken to him face to face, instead of showing the distinct lack of courage and splitting up with him in a 'phone call.
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven
You labeled me
I'll label you
So I dub thee unforgiven
As for my holiday next week, I'm still going to Devon and Cornwall - but I'm traveling with Mum instead. After I'd split up with my ex, Mum made the suggestion that I still went, but that she came with me, as she said that it would be the best thing I could do - get away from the area for a few days, and try and get myself back to some semblance of normality.
Ok - I appreciate the thought - and the best bit (for me, anyway!) is the fact that we're going to go to the RHS garden at Rosemoor in Devon. (See http://www.rhs.org.uk/WhatsOn/gardens/rosemoor/index.asp)
That's something that I couldn't have done with my ex, as he wasn't that interested in gardening, despite agreeing to go to the Eden project with me (see http://www.edenproject.com/)
So, whatever else may have happened recently, I've got the better end of the deal - I'll be able to go and see things that I want to see - with the added bonus that Mum's a member of the RHS, so the admission will be free, and she can tell me about the plants that I don't recognise!
Suppose I should answer my 'phone before the damned thing drives me mad!
Back later.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Back to life...
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Karen
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Well, I seem to be getting back to some semblance of normality, but I admit that I'm still incredibly fragile.
All it takes is for someone to look sideway at me, and I'm in tears. Thankfully, there's been someone who's been a real tower of strength for me,and has gone out of his way to make sure that I'm ok, and has made sure that I'm being left alone when I need peace and quiet at work.
Outside of work, he's been great fun, and has spoilt me rotten - including taking me to see Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, followed by dinner!
And no - it's not my ex. This is the fella that I got to know whilst I was away, and our friendship has just gotten stronger because he's been a real rock for me to lean on/ fall apart on, and it looks like things may progress.
Obviously, I'm not going to say anymore than that, as the last thing I want to do is put the mockers on something that's making me so happy, so please bear with me.
Guess I should call it quits - I'm supposed to be working, not blogging!
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
All it takes is for someone to look sideway at me, and I'm in tears. Thankfully, there's been someone who's been a real tower of strength for me,and has gone out of his way to make sure that I'm ok, and has made sure that I'm being left alone when I need peace and quiet at work.
Outside of work, he's been great fun, and has spoilt me rotten - including taking me to see Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, followed by dinner!
And no - it's not my ex. This is the fella that I got to know whilst I was away, and our friendship has just gotten stronger because he's been a real rock for me to lean on/ fall apart on, and it looks like things may progress.
Obviously, I'm not going to say anymore than that, as the last thing I want to do is put the mockers on something that's making me so happy, so please bear with me.
Guess I should call it quits - I'm supposed to be working, not blogging!
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Into the fire
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It’s over.
I don’t know what I’ll be doing abut Tuesday night – I get the feeling that I won’t be in a fit state to see anyone for quite a while.
I can’t type any more – I can barely see the keyboard for my tears.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
I don’t know what I’ll be doing abut Tuesday night – I get the feeling that I won’t be in a fit state to see anyone for quite a while.
I can’t type any more – I can barely see the keyboard for my tears.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Back from the hills…
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Karen
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And the trouble is, I’m almost sure of what my decision will be. I want to call it quits with my partner.
I know this sounds horrible, and that I’ll be judged on the fact that this has come about since I met someone last week, but if the truth be known, I’ve been thinking about calling it quits for a while, but never had the guts to do so.
I know that he’s going to be hurt, and will want answers, but the trouble is, the root cause of our trouble lies with the fact that we’re really too different for things to work.
He wants someone who’s the “stay at home and only go out with him” whereas I’m the one who enjoys spending time with friends, and spending a weekend with Flame and my friends in the Peak District, or the Cotswolds – depending on the mood that takes us all.
But how the hell do you put that into words? There are few occasions that I’m lost for words, as those people who know me can vouch for, but this is one of them.
Now all I’ve got to do is pick the time to tell him that I want out. I know there’s no such thing as a good time to tell someone that a relationship is over, but the longer I leave it, the more he’s likely to harbour hopes of us getting back together.
Damn. My ‘phone’s ringing.
Back later.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
I know this sounds horrible, and that I’ll be judged on the fact that this has come about since I met someone last week, but if the truth be known, I’ve been thinking about calling it quits for a while, but never had the guts to do so.
I know that he’s going to be hurt, and will want answers, but the trouble is, the root cause of our trouble lies with the fact that we’re really too different for things to work.
He wants someone who’s the “stay at home and only go out with him” whereas I’m the one who enjoys spending time with friends, and spending a weekend with Flame and my friends in the Peak District, or the Cotswolds – depending on the mood that takes us all.
But how the hell do you put that into words? There are few occasions that I’m lost for words, as those people who know me can vouch for, but this is one of them.
Now all I’ve got to do is pick the time to tell him that I want out. I know there’s no such thing as a good time to tell someone that a relationship is over, but the longer I leave it, the more he’s likely to harbour hopes of us getting back together.
Damn. My ‘phone’s ringing.
Back later.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Back to base…
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Karen
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Well, I’m back in the office after being away for four days on the training course…
Ok – I’ve learnt a hell of a lot, and hopefully will be able to give the guys in the field the back-up they deserve. But, being away has really caused me problems with my personal life…
It boils down to the fact that I became close to someone whilst I was away, and this person has been making me laugh, and treating me like I was a real princess.
I know that being away from my normal environment may well have slapped the rose-tinted glasses on, but all it has done is make me wonder if I’m doing the right thing.
Simply because after I posted the last entry before I went away, my partner and I had a real hum-dinger of a row. It boiled down to the fact that he didn’t want me going, and said that he felt I was putting my job before our relationship, and that I’d been using a variety of excuses to avoid spending any time with him.
I will admit, that was like waving a red-rag to a bull, and I told him exactly what I thought of him. Ok – probably not the best thing I could have done, but it cleared the air between us – even if things are still on the frosty side between us…
Hmm. Not quite the right expression. Frosty is an understatement. Our relationship would make the Antarctic look like the Bahamas at the moment!
The worst part is, since I’ve been back we’ve not spoken. As far as I know, we’re still going to the Grand Prix together, but I will admit to being somewhat apprehensive about going to the West Country with him…
With regards to this other person, until I know what the hell I want to do, we’ve agreed to stay friends, and I’ll avoid rubbing my partner’s nose in the fact that I’m really happy when I’m with this fella.
I mean, we sat chatting on Wednesday night, like we’d known each other all of our lives, and it turned out that we share a similar sense of humour, and a similar outlook on life.
I’ve agreed to meet him on Tuesday night, to go and see a film, and then have dinner with him – as friends. I know that most people reading this will be thinking – yeah right. As if it’ll stop there.
Ok – I admit it is a somewhat underhanded way of dealing with my partner, but if I can get my head in some semblance of order this weekend, I’ll be able to sort things out – I hope.
And what’s the best way for me to do that? Simple. Leave my damned ‘phone at home, and buzz off to the Peak District for a riding weekend with Rachel and the two horses…
Just me, my friend and the horses – I don’t know of a better way to clear my head of an emotional fog – and hopefully have a better idea of what I want to do about this situation…
Suppose I’d better get on with some w*rk, instead of blogging…
Back later if I get chance, otherwise it will be Sunday night before I put the next update on my blog…
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Ok – I’ve learnt a hell of a lot, and hopefully will be able to give the guys in the field the back-up they deserve. But, being away has really caused me problems with my personal life…
It boils down to the fact that I became close to someone whilst I was away, and this person has been making me laugh, and treating me like I was a real princess.
I know that being away from my normal environment may well have slapped the rose-tinted glasses on, but all it has done is make me wonder if I’m doing the right thing.
Simply because after I posted the last entry before I went away, my partner and I had a real hum-dinger of a row. It boiled down to the fact that he didn’t want me going, and said that he felt I was putting my job before our relationship, and that I’d been using a variety of excuses to avoid spending any time with him.
I will admit, that was like waving a red-rag to a bull, and I told him exactly what I thought of him. Ok – probably not the best thing I could have done, but it cleared the air between us – even if things are still on the frosty side between us…
Hmm. Not quite the right expression. Frosty is an understatement. Our relationship would make the Antarctic look like the Bahamas at the moment!
The worst part is, since I’ve been back we’ve not spoken. As far as I know, we’re still going to the Grand Prix together, but I will admit to being somewhat apprehensive about going to the West Country with him…
With regards to this other person, until I know what the hell I want to do, we’ve agreed to stay friends, and I’ll avoid rubbing my partner’s nose in the fact that I’m really happy when I’m with this fella.
I mean, we sat chatting on Wednesday night, like we’d known each other all of our lives, and it turned out that we share a similar sense of humour, and a similar outlook on life.
I’ve agreed to meet him on Tuesday night, to go and see a film, and then have dinner with him – as friends. I know that most people reading this will be thinking – yeah right. As if it’ll stop there.
Ok – I admit it is a somewhat underhanded way of dealing with my partner, but if I can get my head in some semblance of order this weekend, I’ll be able to sort things out – I hope.
And what’s the best way for me to do that? Simple. Leave my damned ‘phone at home, and buzz off to the Peak District for a riding weekend with Rachel and the two horses…
Just me, my friend and the horses – I don’t know of a better way to clear my head of an emotional fog – and hopefully have a better idea of what I want to do about this situation…
Suppose I’d better get on with some w*rk, instead of blogging…
Back later if I get chance, otherwise it will be Sunday night before I put the next update on my blog…
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Talk about shooting youself in the foot...
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Karen
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And that's just what the F1 circus has managed to do to itself, by running the farce that is the USA Grand Prix. Ok - I agree with the principal that the drivers shouldn't race if there are safety concerns, but surely there could have been some kind of agreement reached that meant the entire field started the race - and not just the Bridgestone runners.
But, all this has done is kill off Formula 1 in America - as no-one is going to risk going to the race next year (if they even hold a race at Indianapolis), thus leaving the American public with CART and Indy-racing.
Don't get me wrong - I enjoy both types of racing, but if it came to a choice of going to watch a CART, Indy or F1 race, I'd choose the F1 race, simply because that's one of my real passions.
Speaking (or rather typing) of which, I've been able to get another ticket for the British GP at Silverstone for my other half, as he said that he'd be interested in going, and had been pestering me to get him a ticket.
It's actually worked out rather well, as the race is the weekend that we come back from our break in the West country, so it means that neither of us will have to go belting out of work on the Friday night, in order to get down to Silverstone with the rest of the gang that I go to the race with...
On a different note, this will be the last blog entry for a few days or so, as I'm going on a training course tomorrow, and won't be back near a computer with an internet connection until Friday night.
Time to call this entry quits - I've got to get the rest of my stuff sorted out for the trip tomorrow.
Back on Friday...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
But, all this has done is kill off Formula 1 in America - as no-one is going to risk going to the race next year (if they even hold a race at Indianapolis), thus leaving the American public with CART and Indy-racing.
Don't get me wrong - I enjoy both types of racing, but if it came to a choice of going to watch a CART, Indy or F1 race, I'd choose the F1 race, simply because that's one of my real passions.
Speaking (or rather typing) of which, I've been able to get another ticket for the British GP at Silverstone for my other half, as he said that he'd be interested in going, and had been pestering me to get him a ticket.
It's actually worked out rather well, as the race is the weekend that we come back from our break in the West country, so it means that neither of us will have to go belting out of work on the Friday night, in order to get down to Silverstone with the rest of the gang that I go to the race with...
On a different note, this will be the last blog entry for a few days or so, as I'm going on a training course tomorrow, and won't be back near a computer with an internet connection until Friday night.
Time to call this entry quits - I've got to get the rest of my stuff sorted out for the trip tomorrow.
Back on Friday...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Preparing for the journey...
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Karen
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A strange title for a blog entry, I grant you... But it will become clearer as you read on, I promise!
As part of my job requirements, I've got to travel to complete some training, and I will admit to being somewhat apprehensive about it, especially as I'm going to be the only female on the course.
Thankfully, there will be people I know going, so it shouldn't be that strange for me, even though I'm beginning to wonder if I've bitten off more than I can chew...
Having said that though, I thought the same thing when I was going to do the presentation at the company conference, and I survived that ok - even if my line manger was worried that I'd chicken out!
I've also managed to sort out the problems with my other half. I've agreed to meet his parents when we get back from our break in the West Country.
He wanted me to meet them this weekend - no chance of that, as I've got to get myself ready (i.e. packed) for this training course that I'm going on next week... He's also given up on the idea of me moving in with him. For the time being, anyway!
As well as that, my daft friend has been in contact with me... I left my 'phone at home this morning, and when it's not turned on, any calls I get go to my voicemail. I checked my 'phone this afternoon, only to be greeted with this...
Short stuff! Hello darling, it's only me. What do you mean you can't get to your phone at the moment? You mean you've left it on a high shelf and can't reach it?......
Needless to say, I was somewhat indignant at being called short stuff... Ok - I admit I'm not tall, but I don't need reminding of it every time I speak to this fella!
Mind you, I know it's not meant maliciously, so I get my own back my calling him ratbag... Despite that, he made me laugh, as he was bemoaning the fact that he was at work, and I was able to escape into the sunshine.
He also sent me a text message, telling me to take care out in the sun... I get the impression that he's scared that I'll do something daft, like get burnt to a crisp whilst I'm riding Flame.
Speaking (ok - typing) about Flame, Rachel has very kindly agreed to look after her for the four days that I'm away - I get the impression that she's going to be using the time to re-build her confidence in horses.
By her own admission, she's ok when she's with either myself or her sister, but on her own, she's still scared that something will go wrong. So, as Flame is placid-natured (that's the only reason I let Amber get on her!), it's the best thing that she can do.
Time to call this blog entry quits - I've got to get ready to go and see my other half, as he seems to be determined to spend as much time as he can with me, before I go on my training course.
Back tomorrow, if I've finished the packing!
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
As part of my job requirements, I've got to travel to complete some training, and I will admit to being somewhat apprehensive about it, especially as I'm going to be the only female on the course.
Thankfully, there will be people I know going, so it shouldn't be that strange for me, even though I'm beginning to wonder if I've bitten off more than I can chew...
Having said that though, I thought the same thing when I was going to do the presentation at the company conference, and I survived that ok - even if my line manger was worried that I'd chicken out!
I've also managed to sort out the problems with my other half. I've agreed to meet his parents when we get back from our break in the West Country.
He wanted me to meet them this weekend - no chance of that, as I've got to get myself ready (i.e. packed) for this training course that I'm going on next week... He's also given up on the idea of me moving in with him. For the time being, anyway!
As well as that, my daft friend has been in contact with me... I left my 'phone at home this morning, and when it's not turned on, any calls I get go to my voicemail. I checked my 'phone this afternoon, only to be greeted with this...
Short stuff! Hello darling, it's only me. What do you mean you can't get to your phone at the moment? You mean you've left it on a high shelf and can't reach it?......
Needless to say, I was somewhat indignant at being called short stuff... Ok - I admit I'm not tall, but I don't need reminding of it every time I speak to this fella!
Mind you, I know it's not meant maliciously, so I get my own back my calling him ratbag... Despite that, he made me laugh, as he was bemoaning the fact that he was at work, and I was able to escape into the sunshine.
He also sent me a text message, telling me to take care out in the sun... I get the impression that he's scared that I'll do something daft, like get burnt to a crisp whilst I'm riding Flame.
Speaking (ok - typing) about Flame, Rachel has very kindly agreed to look after her for the four days that I'm away - I get the impression that she's going to be using the time to re-build her confidence in horses.
By her own admission, she's ok when she's with either myself or her sister, but on her own, she's still scared that something will go wrong. So, as Flame is placid-natured (that's the only reason I let Amber get on her!), it's the best thing that she can do.
Time to call this blog entry quits - I've got to get ready to go and see my other half, as he seems to be determined to spend as much time as he can with me, before I go on my training course.
Back tomorrow, if I've finished the packing!
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Things that make me laugh
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Well, I've been lucky. I've avoided ruining a friendship, as my friend has been making me laugh with silly jokes that he found..
These are just two of the ones that I got sent today!
The pet shop door it opened
And a little girl walked in
With curly hair, bright sparkling eyes
And a cheeky little grin.
She walked up to the counter
Her tiny hand held high
And opened little fingers
To show her money safe inside
"What would you like, sweetheart?"
The pet shop man he asked,
"A little bunny rabbit, please"
She said in words and gasps.
"Now would you like a white one,
A grey one or a black?
Or you can have a brown one
With cream fur upon its back."
"Or what about a lop-eared one,
A girl one or a boy?
A chinchilla or a dwarf one
To bring you lots of joy?"
She looked at the shop owner,
His help and wisdom he would share,
She drew a great big breath and said:
My pet python doesn't care."
The other joke, I admit has been doing the rounds for years, but it made me laugh....
A woman in labour is told by her midwife that there is a new pill which gives a quarter of the pain to the father. Her husband agrees to help, so she takes one pill.
He claims he can't feel any pain. She asks him to take half the pain. He agrees. She takes another pill.
He still feels no pain he claims, and says all women are wimps. So she asks him to take all the pain. He agrees, so she takes two more pills..
He says he still feels nothing, and the woman gives birth to a healthy baby.
When they go home, they find the postman dead on the doorstep.
Suppose I should think about logging off, and bogging off - it's nearly time for me to escape!
Back tomorrow, if I get the chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
These are just two of the ones that I got sent today!
The pet shop door it opened
And a little girl walked in
With curly hair, bright sparkling eyes
And a cheeky little grin.
She walked up to the counter
Her tiny hand held high
And opened little fingers
To show her money safe inside
"What would you like, sweetheart?"
The pet shop man he asked,
"A little bunny rabbit, please"
She said in words and gasps.
"Now would you like a white one,
A grey one or a black?
Or you can have a brown one
With cream fur upon its back."
"Or what about a lop-eared one,
A girl one or a boy?
A chinchilla or a dwarf one
To bring you lots of joy?"
She looked at the shop owner,
His help and wisdom he would share,
She drew a great big breath and said:
My pet python doesn't care."
The other joke, I admit has been doing the rounds for years, but it made me laugh....
A woman in labour is told by her midwife that there is a new pill which gives a quarter of the pain to the father. Her husband agrees to help, so she takes one pill.
He claims he can't feel any pain. She asks him to take half the pain. He agrees. She takes another pill.
He still feels no pain he claims, and says all women are wimps. So she asks him to take all the pain. He agrees, so she takes two more pills..
He says he still feels nothing, and the woman gives birth to a healthy baby.
When they go home, they find the postman dead on the doorstep.
Suppose I should think about logging off, and bogging off - it's nearly time for me to escape!
Back tomorrow, if I get the chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Thanking my lucky stars..
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Karen
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Someone somewhere must be looking after me today...
I sent a message to my friend (with whom I rowed with yesterday), asking if he was ok, and got this response...
I'm ok - not soggy coz I'm inside. Just tryin' to be chilled but everyone has the hump this morning.
So I'm going on the offensive and into coiled spring mode, so look out London!
I hope you are ok as you don't seem to be the Kaz I love today. You ain't treading on egg shells you know, so get with the beat and be the Kaz I know you are...
So if you want to beat me up you know where I am, neh neh ne neh neh...
That had the desired effect, and made me laugh, and made me realise just strong our friendship really is - anyone else would have been in a major strop with me.
But the real ice breaker was this little gem that I was sent... I admitted that I was getting fed up with the Tony Christie song - Is this the way to Amarillo as it's not my style of music at all! (I'm of the long hair & black t-shirt fraternity - I'm into things like AC/DC & Black Sabbath!)
1. Start at Birmingham Airport.
2. Catch flight from Birmingham to Newark Liberty Airport.
3. Catch flight from Newark Liberty Airport to Dallas Fort Worth Airport.
4. Hire car at Dallas Fort Worth Airport.
5. Start going toward the "Airport Exit" on "International Parkway South" - follow for 0.2 miles.
6. Bear left onto the highway toward "Terminal East Parking" - follow for 0.3 miles
7. Bear left onto "International Parkway North" toward "North Airport Exit" -follow for 2.9 miles
8. Take the "Highway 114 west" exit toward "Fort Worth" - follow for 29.2 miles
9. Then continue on "US 287 north" - follow for 91.1 miles
10. "US 287 north" becomes "Interstate-44 east" - follow for 0.7 miles
11. Take left fork onto "US-287 north" toward "Vernon" - follow for 104.0 miles
12. "US 287 north" becomes "Avenue F (US-287)" - follow for 2.8 miles
13. Continue to follow "US 287 north" - follow for 104.9 miles
14. Take left ramp onto "Interstate 40 west" toward "Dumas" - follow for 7.8miles
15. Take "Exit 70" onto "US 60 east" toward "Dumas" - follow for 0.5 miles
16. Take the "Buchanan Street" exit toward "Dumas/Pampa" - follow for1.7 miles
17. Turn right onto "Old Route 66 (Interstate 40)" - follow for 0.1 miles
18. Arrive at the centre of "Amarillo, Texas"
Now that's the way to f*cking Amarillo!!!!!!!!
SO CAN EVERYONE SHUT THE F*** UP NOW??!!!!!
Suppose I'd better think about doing some work before I go on my lunch-break....
Back when I get chance...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
I sent a message to my friend (with whom I rowed with yesterday), asking if he was ok, and got this response...
I'm ok - not soggy coz I'm inside. Just tryin' to be chilled but everyone has the hump this morning.
So I'm going on the offensive and into coiled spring mode, so look out London!
I hope you are ok as you don't seem to be the Kaz I love today. You ain't treading on egg shells you know, so get with the beat and be the Kaz I know you are...
So if you want to beat me up you know where I am, neh neh ne neh neh...
That had the desired effect, and made me laugh, and made me realise just strong our friendship really is - anyone else would have been in a major strop with me.
But the real ice breaker was this little gem that I was sent... I admitted that I was getting fed up with the Tony Christie song - Is this the way to Amarillo as it's not my style of music at all! (I'm of the long hair & black t-shirt fraternity - I'm into things like AC/DC & Black Sabbath!)
1. Start at Birmingham Airport.
2. Catch flight from Birmingham to Newark Liberty Airport.
3. Catch flight from Newark Liberty Airport to Dallas Fort Worth Airport.
4. Hire car at Dallas Fort Worth Airport.
5. Start going toward the "Airport Exit" on "International Parkway South" - follow for 0.2 miles.
6. Bear left onto the highway toward "Terminal East Parking" - follow for 0.3 miles
7. Bear left onto "International Parkway North" toward "North Airport Exit" -follow for 2.9 miles
8. Take the "Highway 114 west" exit toward "Fort Worth" - follow for 29.2 miles
9. Then continue on "US 287 north" - follow for 91.1 miles
10. "US 287 north" becomes "Interstate-44 east" - follow for 0.7 miles
11. Take left fork onto "US-287 north" toward "Vernon" - follow for 104.0 miles
12. "US 287 north" becomes "Avenue F (US-287)" - follow for 2.8 miles
13. Continue to follow "US 287 north" - follow for 104.9 miles
14. Take left ramp onto "Interstate 40 west" toward "Dumas" - follow for 7.8miles
15. Take "Exit 70" onto "US 60 east" toward "Dumas" - follow for 0.5 miles
16. Take the "Buchanan Street" exit toward "Dumas/Pampa" - follow for1.7 miles
17. Turn right onto "Old Route 66 (Interstate 40)" - follow for 0.1 miles
18. Arrive at the centre of "Amarillo, Texas"
Now that's the way to f*cking Amarillo!!!!!!!!
SO CAN EVERYONE SHUT THE F*** UP NOW??!!!!!
Suppose I'd better think about doing some work before I go on my lunch-break....
Back when I get chance...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
If I could turn back time...
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Karen
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I'd take back those words that've hurt you...
Or more to the point, I'd have never sent that damned e-mail, or been dumb enough to call a friend when I was so wound up!
It started out with my friend sending me an e-mail, in which he tried to explain his feelings about this lass that he's been seeing, and made the mistake (as far as I was concerned!) of saying...
This really is a very complex thing and she is too... It's a long story and one I would explain to you but I don't think you would understand where I'm coming from...
To be honest, that was the worst thing that could have been said, as the rest of the e-mail made me feel like I was supposed to be standing in judgement on him - something that I've never done with a friend.
Ok - I admit that I've called my best mate a few names in the past, but given the circumstances, he understood why I was so uptight. So, needless to say, my reply was not exactly the friendly variety...
Let's get one thing straight right now. I'm not standing in judgement on you - and you obviously think I am. That's the last thing that I would ever do with a friend, and I'm surprised and more than a little hurt that you think I would react like that.
At the end of the day, it's your decision - all people like me can do is give you a shoulder to cry on, and a friendly (or not so friendly) ear to bend.
And contrary to what you believe about me - yes I do have an idea about what you're going through. I've been there, and done that and got the emotional scars to prove it...
Just to add to the mix, I was too stubborn / upset to await the reply, and then called my friend, and gave vent to my fustrations - which in hindsight, was probably not the smartest thing that I could have done.
If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that've hurt you...
I don't know why I did the things I did
I don't know why I said the things I said
Pride's like a knife it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes
I didn't really mean to hurt you
Ah well. If you're reading this blog, sweetie - I'm sorry, and I know now that I shouldn't haven't jumped to the wrong conclusion. All I can do is hope that this hasn't spoilt or ended our friendship.
Time to call this entry quits - I want to see if I can think of an appropriate way to repair the damage that I've done, by blowing a fuse.
Back when I can get my shattered emotions together.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Or more to the point, I'd have never sent that damned e-mail, or been dumb enough to call a friend when I was so wound up!
It started out with my friend sending me an e-mail, in which he tried to explain his feelings about this lass that he's been seeing, and made the mistake (as far as I was concerned!) of saying...
This really is a very complex thing and she is too... It's a long story and one I would explain to you but I don't think you would understand where I'm coming from...
To be honest, that was the worst thing that could have been said, as the rest of the e-mail made me feel like I was supposed to be standing in judgement on him - something that I've never done with a friend.
Ok - I admit that I've called my best mate a few names in the past, but given the circumstances, he understood why I was so uptight. So, needless to say, my reply was not exactly the friendly variety...
Let's get one thing straight right now. I'm not standing in judgement on you - and you obviously think I am. That's the last thing that I would ever do with a friend, and I'm surprised and more than a little hurt that you think I would react like that.
At the end of the day, it's your decision - all people like me can do is give you a shoulder to cry on, and a friendly (or not so friendly) ear to bend.
And contrary to what you believe about me - yes I do have an idea about what you're going through. I've been there, and done that and got the emotional scars to prove it...
Just to add to the mix, I was too stubborn / upset to await the reply, and then called my friend, and gave vent to my fustrations - which in hindsight, was probably not the smartest thing that I could have done.
If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that've hurt you...
I don't know why I did the things I did
I don't know why I said the things I said
Pride's like a knife it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes
I didn't really mean to hurt you
Ah well. If you're reading this blog, sweetie - I'm sorry, and I know now that I shouldn't haven't jumped to the wrong conclusion. All I can do is hope that this hasn't spoilt or ended our friendship.
Time to call this entry quits - I want to see if I can think of an appropriate way to repair the damage that I've done, by blowing a fuse.
Back when I can get my shattered emotions together.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Running scared...
Posted by
Karen
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It's well and truly hit the fan this time. What am I talking about? Only the fact that my other half wants me to go up to Yorkshire, and meet his parents.
Ok - under normal circustances, I could cope with that, but I'm somewhat more suspicious... Simply because over the past month or so, he's been on about me moving in with him, and putting our relationship on a more formal footing than it is at the moment.
The trouble is, I know damned well that I enjoy my freedom too much to consider moving in with him. It's not that I don't love him - I do - it's just that the current arrangement suits me fine, as I can do my own thing without having to justify what I'm up to, and where I'm going.
I know for a fact that he doesn't like me getting up at "the crack of sparrow fart" as he so eloquently refers to my alarm call at 04:30 in the summer, and 05:30 in winter, to go and tend to Flame and escape for an early morning ride.
Equally, I know that if I try to tell him that I'm happy with the way things are, he'll start to worry that I'm trying to wriggle out of the relationship, which I'm not.
But having said that, I've been through the hell of having a partner who wanted me to give up my horse, and once gave me an ultimatum - him or the horse. I chose the horse, and it was the best thing that I ever did, as I was able to walk away and find someone who means the world to me.
My trouble is, I need my freedom, and most fellas I've dated have had a hard job accepting that fact, and I've lost count of the number of rows that it's caused between myself the the guy I was seeing. In fact, I can only think of one fella who was comfortable with that idea - and we ended up as best mates!
Time to call this blog entry quits - I want to get some bits and pieces sorted out around the house, and get myself metally prepared for the inevitable fireworks when I tell my other half how I'm feeling....
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Ok - under normal circustances, I could cope with that, but I'm somewhat more suspicious... Simply because over the past month or so, he's been on about me moving in with him, and putting our relationship on a more formal footing than it is at the moment.
The trouble is, I know damned well that I enjoy my freedom too much to consider moving in with him. It's not that I don't love him - I do - it's just that the current arrangement suits me fine, as I can do my own thing without having to justify what I'm up to, and where I'm going.
I know for a fact that he doesn't like me getting up at "the crack of sparrow fart" as he so eloquently refers to my alarm call at 04:30 in the summer, and 05:30 in winter, to go and tend to Flame and escape for an early morning ride.
Equally, I know that if I try to tell him that I'm happy with the way things are, he'll start to worry that I'm trying to wriggle out of the relationship, which I'm not.
But having said that, I've been through the hell of having a partner who wanted me to give up my horse, and once gave me an ultimatum - him or the horse. I chose the horse, and it was the best thing that I ever did, as I was able to walk away and find someone who means the world to me.
My trouble is, I need my freedom, and most fellas I've dated have had a hard job accepting that fact, and I've lost count of the number of rows that it's caused between myself the the guy I was seeing. In fact, I can only think of one fella who was comfortable with that idea - and we ended up as best mates!
Time to call this blog entry quits - I want to get some bits and pieces sorted out around the house, and get myself metally prepared for the inevitable fireworks when I tell my other half how I'm feeling....
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
The finger of blame has turned upon itself...
Posted by
Karen
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And for once, I'm not getting kicked. I know this sounds nasty, but it's someone else who's copping it - someone who really doesn't deserve to get the hassle and crap that he's getting at the moment.
What makes me say this? Simple. The poor guy was on the ‘phone to me last night, and could just about stop himself from bursting into tears on the ‘phone.
He’s really torn up over a relationship (I know that feeling all too well!), and isn’t sure what he wants to do. He said that sometimes he feels like walking away, as he doesn’t want the pain and heartache anymore, but then seems to flip to the other extreme, and is determined to stay and fight for the relationship.
At the end of the day, the only person who can make the decision to stay or leave is him. All I can do is offer a friendly (or not so friendly) ear to bend, and a shoulder that he can cry on, when things get too rough, as well as re-assuring him that he's not losing his mind...
The finger of blame has turned upon itself
And I'm more than willing to offer myself
Do you want my presence or need my help
Who knows where that might lead
Ah well, suppose I’d better think about doing some w*rk…
Back later, if I get the chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
What makes me say this? Simple. The poor guy was on the ‘phone to me last night, and could just about stop himself from bursting into tears on the ‘phone.
He’s really torn up over a relationship (I know that feeling all too well!), and isn’t sure what he wants to do. He said that sometimes he feels like walking away, as he doesn’t want the pain and heartache anymore, but then seems to flip to the other extreme, and is determined to stay and fight for the relationship.
At the end of the day, the only person who can make the decision to stay or leave is him. All I can do is offer a friendly (or not so friendly) ear to bend, and a shoulder that he can cry on, when things get too rough, as well as re-assuring him that he's not losing his mind...
The finger of blame has turned upon itself
And I'm more than willing to offer myself
Do you want my presence or need my help
Who knows where that might lead
Ah well, suppose I’d better think about doing some w*rk…
Back later, if I get the chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
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