Midnight Blues

Well, I'm back from Cornwall. I will admit, although it was nice to see my family, I'm only too glad to be back home.

Why? Because the old joke that "God gave you your relatives, but thank god you can choose your friends" has never been more apt at times.

Ok - maybe I'm being a little unkind to my family, but compared to the rest of the family - I'm subdued! I felt a little out of place at times, but as things started warming up (and the drink started flowing - I was driving so I didn't drink that much at all) I started feeling much more at ease with things.

However, it was when I was settling down, that I started to feel blue, and the song by Gary Moore - Midnight Blues sums up how I felt some nights...

It's the darkest hour

Of the darkest night

It's a million miles

From the morning light

Can't get no sleep

Don't know what to do

I've got those midnight blues

When the shadows fall

I feel the night closing in

There must be some reason

For this mood I'm getting in

Can't get no sleep

Don't know what to do

I've got those midnight blues

Every evening after sundown

As the light begins to fade

I feel so low, but I just don't know

Why these blues won't go away

Every evening after sundown

As the light begins to fade

I feel so low, but I just don't know

Why these blues won't go away

It's the darkest hour

Of the darkest night

It's a million miles

To the morning light

Can't get no sleep

Don't know what to do

I've got those midnight blues

I've got those midnight blues

I've got those midnight blues

I've got those midnight blues

Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I need to make peace with Fred.

Back tomorrow.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Preparing to make another escape

No sooner am I back from a holiday, than I’m preparing for another one. This time, it’s because I’m going to my cousin’s wedding in Cornwall.

Mum and I are leaving on Saturday, staying for two nights in Indian Queens, and then heading to Truro, to meet up with the rest of the family.

The reason that we’re doing this is because once the family know that Mum and I are in the area, we won’t get any time to ourselves, as the family have a habit of organising things.

But, there are things that I want to do whilst I’m in Cornwall – one of them being to visit the Eden project (again) and go to Lands End and the Tate gallery in St Ives. Hopefully, the family will allow us time to do this, but I’m not sure what the arrangements will be.

I know the wedding is on Wednesday (apparently, farmer’s weddings are always held on a Wednesday or a Sunday – don’t ask me why!) but I’m hoping that Mum and I will be able to escape on our own.

Guess I should call this quits – I’m supposed to be working, not blogging!

Back when I return from Cornwall…

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Back to the playpen (I mean office)

No, I was right the first time. Playpen.

You go away, and people say "oh yes, don't worry about your work, we'll look after it for you." What a pile of crap.

I got in, to discover that only the bare minimum had been done, and that there was an awful lot that I had to sort out, not to mention placating colleagues and customers who felt that they had been neglected whilst I was away.

So, I've spent most of the day chasing my tail, trying to get everything back under control, and ready for another hand over, as I'm only in the office for 10 working days due to the fact that my cousin is getting married down in Cornwall.

As I managed to avoid the last weeding (sorry - wedding!) I have to go to this one, especially as this will be the first time that I've seen the rest of my family since Dad's funeral. As he once said - the only time our family get together is for weddings and funerals - and at the moment, that seems to be horribly accurate!

Guess I should call this entry quits - I've got a home to go to.

Back tomorrow if i get the chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

What you never hear...

Ok - I know some people will doubt that these are genuine transcripts, but my sources have yet to fail me...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Here are some conversations that airline passengers normally will never hear. The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world.

*************************************************

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"


*************************************************

"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"


*************************************************
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"

Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"


*************************************************

O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."

United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."


*************************************************

A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

*************************************************

A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus s had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights, and return to the airport."


*************************************************

There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked.”

Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.

 Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach"


*************************************************

Taxiing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around, and returned to the gate.

After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was the problem?”


"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant.

"It took us a while to find a new pilot."

*************************************************

A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:

Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):

"Because you lost the bloody war"


*************************************************

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7!”

Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"

Continental 635: "Continental 635 cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."


*************************************************

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed.

The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,


"What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger:


"I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."


*************************************************

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot.They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.

So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience):”Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark - and I didn't land."


*************************************************

While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.

An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming:"US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically:

"God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move 'till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"

”Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.Just then, an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

Three little pigs...

An new twist on an old tail perhaps?

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

*************************************************

The Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.

The waiter came and took their drink order.

"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.

"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.

"I want beer, lots, and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.

"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots, and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.

"I want a cheesecake," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots, and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy, "but why have you only ordered beer all evening?"

You're gonna LOVE me for this....


The third piggy says -


"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!

I wonder.....

Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.

After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, "Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate £100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'."

The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the word of the Lord, It must not be changed."

Well," says the Nescafe man, "We anticipated your reluctance. For this reason, we will increase our offer to £300 million. All we require is that you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'."

Again, the Pope replies, "That, my son is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and it must not be changed."

Finally, the Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to your faith, but we do have one final offer. We will donate £500 million - that's half a billion quid - to the great Catholic church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'. Please consider it." And he leaves.

The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals. "There is some Good news," he announces, "and some bad news..... The good news is that the Church will come into £500 million.”

“And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.





"We're losing the Hovis Account."



Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Another hospital visit and more physio? You bet.

There are times when I wonder why I bother going to see the saw-bones at Warwick hospital.

Why? Because I feel that I’m being fobbed off every damned time I see him. This time, it’s a case of go to the physio, and I’ll see you in three months time for another jab in the shoulder joint.

Thanks a bunch. I still don’t know what the problem with my shoulder is – what I do know is that I’m getting fed up with the lack of progress (not to mention the lack of information.)

Add into this, I will now have to spend even more time at a hospital I don’t feel comfortable going to, and more to the point, I feel like I’m wasting time – both the physio’s time and mine.

Guess I should call this quits – I need to get bits and pieces sorted out…

Back later.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Fun and games flying from Funchal...

Monday morning arrived, and as Mum and I weren't leaving for the Airport until 11:00, we had plenty of time to walk into Funchal and get our last minute purchases - which in our case meant buying corms and seeds, as well as wicker-work. I got a replica of the Monte toboggan which I thought would be perfect to keep my car keys and security pass in, whilst I'm in the office.

Once we'd gotten what we wanted, and had packed it was off to the airport. And that was where the fun started. We were told the the flight was delayed for a couple of hours - and that it was due to adverse weather conditions in Birmingham. Great - just what Mum and I needed to be told - rotten weather back home.

So, we killed time by wandering around the very small duty free area, and watching the antics of the terminal maintenance crew, who were trying (unsuccessfully at first) to deal with a blocked drain line on one of the big overhead air-conditioning units.

Mum got tired, so I did my normal trick and left her with the hand-baggage, whilst I scampered off into Duty Free. I was under instruction to get a decent bottle of whisky for one of my neighbours, and I wanted to see if I could get a particular aftershave I'd been after (Boss Selection).

Given the size of the Duty Free area, it was almost as good as the ones at Heathrow (and much better than the one at Birmingham!) I not only managed to get a bottle of single malt, but I managed to get the aftershave and some of my perfume - Cartier - Declaration (I think that's how you spell it!)

We finally got onto the flight, and it was almost as bad as the in-bound trip. We also found out why we'd had the delay... The aircraft had a technical fault at Birmingham, thus delaying the outbound flight, which had a knock-on effect on the return flight that Mum and I were on.

This time, I was lucky enough to be seated by the window, whilst poor Mum was stuck in the middle seat, and was tremendously uncomfortable.

But, once we'd landed back in Birmingham, we knew that it wasn't going to be too long before we were home.

If anything, this trip has made me more determined to go back to Maderia, as the people are really friendly, and the scenery? Well, that's just spectacular, and deserves a longer trip to do the island justice.

Would I recommend going there? YES.

If you're into gardening, walking and good food, it's a real must see place, and one that I have every intention of going back to, as a week just wasn't long enough to see and do everything that I wanted to.

Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I've got bits and pieces to sort out before I go back to the playpen that I call an office, next week. (Boo, hiss.)

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Cable cars and a toboggan ride....?

Sunday was a day for Mum and myself to get the last bits and pieces sorted out, and think about packing, ready to leave for Birmingham on the Monday morning.

Mum and I decided that we would head up on the cable car to Monte, so we could have a look around, and possibly go around Monte Palace Gardens.

Again, the pictures that I took were the ones that my dratted camera wiped off, and it annoys me intensely, knowing what a spectacular view it was, going up to Monte. We'd only bought a one way ticket, as I was hoping that I was going to be able to talk Mum into going down the hill with me.

That had to be put on hold, as Mum wasn't fit enough to endure the bumping that the trip was going to involve. So, we opted for a drink at the cable car station, and talked about the things that we needed to sort out before we flew home.

It wasn't that much, as we agreed that we would pick up the last little bits and pieces at the airport if necessary, and that the rest of the day, we were going to spend by the pool!

Time to call this quits - my eyes are getting heavy.

Back tomorrow.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Central Maderia - cherries and chestnuts

Saturday was another early start for Mum and myself. This time, it was because we were going to see the central part of Madeira.

Again, I noticed the changes in the vegetation as we travelled towards the first stop towards the northern edge of Funchal. It gave both Mum and myself to see the city in all its glory (including the unforgettable sight that is Reid’s Palace – the only reason that I mention this, is because it’s painted pink!)

Yet again, the photos that I took were wiped off the memory card – all I can say is –thank god for having two cameras – Mum’s card wasn’t wiped when I tried to transfer the images to the computer.

We travelled in-land to the Nun’s Valley, and our guide explained the reason behind the naming of this area. Apparently, in the 15th century, Madeira was regularly attacked by pirates who used to steal the riches from the churches and other religious places in Funchal.

One group of nuns found this intolerable, and so decided that they would find a safe area to hide their wealth from the nunnery, and used this one particular levada – a walk of about 5 hours.

Because of this particular valley being so remote, it was a perfect hiding place for the island’s wealth, and so became known as the Nuns Valley. From what our guide was telling us (and I’ll be only too happy to accept corrections from Madeirans) the valley was hardly accessible by road until the late 1970s / early 1980s.

The valley itself was quite beautiful, and whilst the rest of the tour party went to try the chestnut cake and the cherry brandy that the valley is renowned for,I opted to go and see the local church.

Why? Simple. I loathe cherries, and I'm allergic to nuts, so both of those "treats" were out of the question for me. I re-joined the party, and we headed back towards Funchal - via Camara de

Lobos (I think the translation is Place of Wolves - something to do with the seals that are there.)

Apparently, it was Winston Churchill's favourite place to go and paint whilst he was on holiday in Maderia (he stayed at Reid's Palace). It may have been beautiful in the 1930s, but I'm afraid that it has been spoilt by an ugly exapnse of concrete that goes right up to the sea wall.

The rest of the day was spent quietly by the hotel swimming pool, with Mum and myself planning our final trip before getting ready to fly back to Birmingham..

Guess I should call this quits - it's my turn to feed Fred, and he's not patient when he's hungry!

Back tomorrow.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Timeshare and Maderia Wine...

Friday, Mum and I went to have a look at a time-share that our hotel group was pushing. So, the pair of us got the bus that was sent and went to have a look. To be honest, neither of us were really that interested, but the bribe (ok – I mean incentive) was worth it – a beautiful book on Madeira that was worth about £35.

The guy who met us was no salesman at all – and when he took Mum and me to one of the so-called apartments, he sat in a chair and made no effort to ensure that Mum and I were making the right decision as far as he was concerned – i.e. saying “yes” to taking a 10 year timeshare.

There were a number of things that put the pair of us off, one of them being the lack of privacy. The balcony appeared to be overlooked on three sides and also shared facilities with the five-star hotel on the site. Add into that, you would be up in the hotel zone (meaning that if we had wanted to go into Funchal, we would have needed to get the courtesy bus) and the financial side also didn’t add up either.

So, it was an easy decision for the pair of us – thanks, but no thanks – simply because it just wasn’t the sort if place that we were interested in.

Or next point of call was the Old Blandy Wine Lodge. (See http://www.blandys.com/) Neither Mum nor I had any idea about Madeira wine (I always thought it was disgustingly sweet. Boy – was I about to be proven wrong!)

The best bit was, apart from being able to go on the tour of the winery (Mum and I didn’t do that, simply because Mum didn’t feel up to going) was the try before you buy bar.

The bar itself was nicely done – the tables and chairs were made from old barrels. Whilst Mum got comfortable on the seat, I went to the bar…

To my surprise (and delight) there was more than just the very sweet dessert wine available – there was a choice of super sweet to dry. Mum opted to try the Verdehlo variety (a medium dry) and I opted for the Sercial variety (a dry wine.)

Needless to day, bottles were bought, and up the corner of the bar, was a group of tourists (I’m still not sure if they were German or Scandinavian – I do know that they were very drunk!)

The rest of the afternoon was spent lazing by the pool (yes – I managed to get sunburnt – my fault for being daft and not putting waterproof sunscreen on!)

Ah well, suppose I should log off and bog off - Mum's just called to say that we've got visitors and I'm supposed to be making an appearance - worst luck!

Back when I can escape!

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

The Gardens Tour

Thursday, Mum and I went on a half day tour, as the pair of us wanted to have a bit of time to relax – we were both of the opinion that a holiday was supposed to be a time for the pair of us to kick back and relax (as well as the fact that Mum was getting tired – her hip was playing her up quite a bit and she was finding walking painful and slow!)

The tour was advertised as being a chance to see two of Madeira’s most famous gardens – Blandys and the botanical gardens.

In theory, this was a good trip, as the guide was supposed to be a trained botanist (emphasis on supposed) and was going to be helpful and informative.

Nothing could have been further from the truth. The guide was surly and her knowledge (and helpfulness) left an awful lot to be desired. She didn’t seem too impressed with the fact that Mum was on a walking stick, and when we got to Blandy’s gardens, that was when the fun started.

The path (ok – cobbled walkway) was a very steep gradient and was not exactly very friendly to someone who is non-too steady on their feet.

So, Mum asked what time we were to meet back at the coach, and said that she would make her own way around the gardens, and that I could get pictures of the things that she missed and vice versa.

The guide wasn’t very keen on that idea, but given the strength of Mum’s personality (and the fact that she was determined to do that anyway!) she didn’t really have much option!

In hindsight, I wish I’d gone with Mum as well, simply because she saw things that I missed – including an 8ft tall dahlia! Instead, our so-called botanist guide pointed out boring things such as delphiniums. Excuse me – if I’d wanted to see delphiniums, I’d have looked in the back garden at home!

We stopped for a coffee (it turned out to be a 3/4hr stop, during which time our illustrious guide spent most of the time yapping on her mobile phone) and so, left the group to do some exploring…

The last stop was to the Botanical Gardens. This was much more to mine and Mum’s liking, as there were plenty of native Madeiran plants – most of which Mum and I had only seen in glasshouses at Kew Gardens! In fact, we spent less time at the botanical gardens than we did having a coffee at Blandy’s! However, Mum and I were able to get some lovely photographs (again – mine were on the card that got wiped – learnt my lesson from that!)

In hindsight, I wish that Mum and I had gone to the Botanic gardens on our own, and missed the Blandy’s garden bit out. But, if we hadn’t gone, we would have always wondered what we had missed out on.

We got back to the hotel and had lunch, and decided that we wanted to go to one of the orchid nurseries that we’d both been reading about. So, we decided to get a taxi up to the one that we had chosen…

Thankfully, the taxi driver said that he would wait for us, as there were no taxis in the area... We were a bit dubious, but we agreed and it was a good thing, as the nursery was off a track, off a back street in the upper end of Funchal!

The exhibits however, were well worth the trip... Both Mum and I were salivating over the blooms, and not for the first time I was wishing that we had the right conditions to grow such beautiful blooms.

There were some that I recognised, but most of them, I didn’t and I just enjoyed taking photographs of them:

Guess I should call this quits – I need to get some sleep – got a busy day tomorrow!

Back when I get the chance…

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Western Maderia

Wednesday, Mum and I were up quite early (as in 06:30 - not a nice experience when you're supposed to be on holiday!) and the pair of us were amazed that it was still dark!

So, we headed down to breakfast, and then walked to the meeting point, by the cable car station. It was a nice walk, and Mum and I were hoping that it was going to be a good day weather wise, as we'd been warned that the weather could change rather rapidly when you were up in the mountains

The mini-bus arrived, and we duly hopped on board, to complete the rest of the pick ups... There was a slight technical hitch with the microphone, but that was soon resolved and we were on our way.

One of the things that I did notice was that every spare piece of land seemed to have bananas and sugar cane growing on it up to 2,000 feet, and then it changed to grapevines. The guide explained that this was due to the climate of the island and that and sugar cane had played an important part in the island's economy in the past, but was unable to compete with the cheaper imports.

The first stop was at a viewpoint – and what a view it was! It was the top of one of the highest sea-cliffs in the world (the exact height escapes me – all I know was that it was very scary looking down!)

The next point of call was a small village (this was one of the pictures that my damned camera managed to lose!) where we had a walk around, and looked out over the beach. Bad choice of phrase really – there are no beaches on Madeira – the coast line tends to be a straight drop into the Atlantic ocean.

Lunch was taken at the most westerly point of the island – where there are some of the most spectacular sea cliffs I have ever seen.

The food was really good – I chose the eschpada (black scabbard fish). It wouldn’t win any beauty awards, but it was certainly tasty – one of those things that you miss when you return to the UK!

We then headed across the central plateau of the island – where the clouds can be a fair distance away and then 10 minutes later, you’re enclosed in cloud and it’s raining!

The rest of the trip was quiet – both Mum and I were too busy admiring the scenery on the way back (and I will admit I was dozing in a couple of places - that was when I wasn’t flinching at the near misses that seemed to occur around every bend!)

Time to call this quits – I’ve still got to finish my un-packing!

Back when I get chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

First full day in Madeira

Tuesday was a gentle day, which started with the welcome meeting from the tour rep. She was a nice lass and told us (Mum, myself and the rest of the group that had arrived on the same day / flight as us) about the island and some of the trips, as well as some of the things to try…

One of the things that she suggested that people try, was Poncha – made from firewater (ok – local rum or rhum as the Portuguese spell it) honey and lemon.

Apparently, it’s a real cure-all – three of them and what ever was wrong with you has been cured. (I put that down to the fact that it’s due to the fact that you’re so pissed, you can’t remember what was wrong with you in the first place!)

Mum and I decided that there were a couple of trips that we did want to do – i.e. the Western Madeira trip on the Wednesday, the half day gardens tour on Thursday and the Nuns Valley tour on the Saturday. The theory being that the rest of the week, Mum and I could spend relaxing by the pool or shopping in Funchal.

So, Tuesday after the meeting, Mum and I took an gentle walk to the Madeira story centre, which was just up the road from our hotel. It was really good - a great way to start the holiday, and had some superb exhibits - including the wax models illustrating various people from Maderian history.

The pirates were raiders of the islands during the late 15th century, and Mum made me laugh by saying that the one pirate didn't look too enthusiastic at all...!

There were other models - including this one of Napoleon:

Much as I hate to say it, Napoleon looks hungover in this pose, and there were several comments along the lines of "not tonight Joseph" But there was one display that did make my eyes light up...

It's one of the famous sledges that run from Monte and Mum said that she would see how she felt before saying that she would go down in it with me...

Then, it was a gentle stroll to the market (more on that later in my blog) and a stop off for a bite to eat, before heading back to the hotel to get changed for dinner, and grabbing an early night, as we'd got to be up super early the following day...

Time to call this quits - my eyes are getting tired.

Back when I get the chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Back from Madeira

This is the first time that I’ve had chance to put finger to keyboard and has become my normal trick – I’ve got loads of pictures from my holiday – even if my damned camera decided to wipe out all of the images off one memory card!

But, despite that setback, I’ve got loads of pictures – some of which I will publish – others that will remain in the collection for personal reasons.

As with past trips, I think the best way is for me do treat each day as a separate post, so that it doesn’t just become a blur, and get confusing. This first post will deal with the trials and tribulations of travel on the outbound leg…

The flight out would have been fine – apart from the fact that I felt like I’d been crammed into a veal pen. I should have guessed that things were not going to go very smoothly, when the snotty cow on the check-in desk decided to give Mum and myself a hard time over the hand baggage weight.

She said that you were only allowed 5kg, and that Mum’s flight bag was overweight and would have to have some bits put into the case as my own case was on the weight limit as well. (I couldn’t find any information on the weight allowances on the tickets, but I was too pissed off to argue with the cow.)

I resorted to taking the one guide book out and putting it into my pocket (I got glared at) and then we were allowed to check in. I swear the miserable female decided to get her own back on the pair of us – she gave us our boarding passes – no problem. The problem arose when we realised where we were seated – Right at the back of the aircraft – the last row of seats, meaning that we couldn’t recline the seats if we wanted!

Add into that it was a bloody long walk to the gate (a rugby scrum is more organised than that plane’s boarding system!) and you get the general idea.

The flight itself was uneventful (and bloody boring – thank god for having a decent book to read – Trudi Canavan’s Black Magician trilogy – book 1 – the Magician’s Guild)

Once in the air, I lost count of the number of times that the trolleys went up and down the aisle (and as the galley was at the back – right behind the seats that Mum and I had been assigned (we were the poor mugs right by the aisle!)) we soon got fed up with them barging past us the whole time.

Thankfully, the weather in Madeira made up for it, and the transfer was relatively smooth to our hotel. We were staying in the old part of town – away from the so-called hotel zone in the west of Funchal.

The hotel itself (the Porto Santa Maria) was very nice (see http://www.portostamaria.com/index/pb/portosantamaria.html) and proved to be a perfect base to start our exploration of the island.

Time to call this quits – we’ve got visitors.

Back later…

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings