Breaking the chain? Not this time I'm afraid.

Well, any hopes I had of being able to sleep after posting my fears on my blog were dissolved like morning mist.

I got back into bed, and tried to get to sleep as I am still shattered after my scare in the early hours of this morning, and for whatever reason, I just couldn't close my eyes and sleep. So, I decided to change the music on my MP3 player. (No - it's not an i-Pod - I refuse point blank to have one on the grounds that most of my music is in .WMA format.)

Whilst I was doing the transfer, I was listening to some music on my PC, and I found this track by Snow Patrol. It made me think of my beloved, and the way that I feel about him...

Chasing Cars

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
I said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Ah well, guess I should try and get my hair under some form of control, as I've got to go out and fuel the Peugot up... Oh, and get some cat food, otherwise Fred and Splodge will be gnawing the leather settee...

Back later.

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time

Being scared by nightmares

What am I doing, sitting at my computer at 6am on a Sunday morning? Easy. Shaking like a leaf, because I've just had another nightmare. Yes, it's the second one in less than 12 hours, and it's had exactly the same effect on me as normal - left me scared and unable to sleep in case I have another one.

It's even gotten to the stage where I've actually admitted to my beloved just how bad things are. He sent me a message at about 00:45 this morning, saying that he was sorry it was so late, but he just wanted me to know that he loved me. I was freaked out enough to reply that I really needed a cuddle (without elaborating on the reason why).

I didn't need to. My beloved called me, and that was it - I lost it. I was talking to him with tears running down my cheeks, and he must have realised I was seriously rattled, because he asked me what was wrong and said that I sounded wrecked. I was, and I told him that I'd been woken by another nightmare.

You see, for the past two months I've been having nightmares, but all I can remember is feeling terrified before I wake up, and nothing more. If there was something that I could say was causing it, I would be an awful lot happier (OK - happier in the knowledge that there might be some way to change my routine before I go to sleep), but I can't think of anything that bothers me that much.

Sure, work does get to me at times - I wouldn't be human (or the sort of person that I am) if it didn't. But I don't think this is work induced, so here I am at 06:03 trying to work out what the hell is wrong.

I'm going to call this quits now, and I'm going to head back to bed and see if I can get some sleep - you never know, typing this entry might have been the thing that helps me break this cycle...


Back later.

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time