These little gems were sent to me by an American friend - who has a very twisted sense of humour... Many thanks big guy!
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
Boudreaux, a Cajun highlander from Rapides Parish in central Louisiana,was an older, single gentleman, who was born and raised a Baptist, living in South Louisiana. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook the most wonderful venison steak.
Now, all of Boudreaux's neighbors were Catholic... And since It was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Fridays. The STRONG delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally went to their priest.
The priest came to visit Boudreaux, and suggested that Boudreaux Convert to Catholicism. After several classes and much study, Boudreaux attended Mass and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are Catholic."
Boudreaux's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the whole neighborhood.
The priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Boudreaux's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped in amazement and watched.
There stood Boudreaux, clutching a small bottle of water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat, and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, and you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish!"
*************************************************
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. Yo u see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm al lowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my Life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked."I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"
Something to brighten a gloomy day...
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Karen
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Occasionally, you get a real gem of a joke... And this is one of them..
Enjoy.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
A little boy blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something. The boy continues. "Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something." He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.
Johnny starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet. Mom comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.
When she's finished she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.
When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing.
Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.
"Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !"
You're laughing aren't you.. I know you are!!!
Enjoy.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
A little boy blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something. The boy continues. "Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something." He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.
Johnny starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet. Mom comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.
When she's finished she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.
When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing.
Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.
"Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !"
You're laughing aren't you.. I know you are!!!
Happier times ahead for one, sadness ahead for another
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Karen
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Well, it looks like my daft hog riding friend has made his decision. He's taken the role that he was offered, and has admitted that it was a stark choice - either he took this role or he looked for another job.
But, at the end of the day, as long as he's happy (ok - make that happier than he was) - that's all that I really care about, as I hated hearing him so down.
On a more personal note, I had to take the Pont back to the vet tonight, and it looks like the end is closing in for him. I've got to take him back to the vet's once a week, so that they can monitor him, and I've been told that Ponto has weeks as opposed to months left.
I will admit I was devastated when I was given this news, especially when I think of all the happy times that the cat and I have been through - not to mention all the fun that we've had causing havoc together. Plus, I don't know how Fred (my other cat) is going to cope, as he seems to look to Ponto as his role model. (God help the poor little sod!)
So, all I can do is make sure that he's not suffering (he seems quite capable of beating up a dog when he's in the mood) and give him all the fuss and attention that he deserves.
Time to call this quits - I need to get some sleep.
Back when I get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
But, at the end of the day, as long as he's happy (ok - make that happier than he was) - that's all that I really care about, as I hated hearing him so down.
On a more personal note, I had to take the Pont back to the vet tonight, and it looks like the end is closing in for him. I've got to take him back to the vet's once a week, so that they can monitor him, and I've been told that Ponto has weeks as opposed to months left.
I will admit I was devastated when I was given this news, especially when I think of all the happy times that the cat and I have been through - not to mention all the fun that we've had causing havoc together. Plus, I don't know how Fred (my other cat) is going to cope, as he seems to look to Ponto as his role model. (God help the poor little sod!)
So, all I can do is make sure that he's not suffering (he seems quite capable of beating up a dog when he's in the mood) and give him all the fuss and attention that he deserves.
Time to call this quits - I need to get some sleep.
Back when I get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Looking to the future...
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Karen
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Well, it looks like to day is D-Day for my daft hog riding friend. For the past few months, he's been agonising over what to do do with regards to his job, as he's admitted that he's getting to the stage that he just wants to leave.
He's been offered a slightly different role withing the company, and has admitted that he's not sure if it's what he really wants, as it means that he will be spending more time in the office, and less time going out on the road to see customers and setting up new accounts for them.
Instead, he'll be working with existing customers, improving relations with them and generally making sure that they're happy with the service that they are recieving.
By his own admission, he's not sure if he's really up for this role, and has said that it's going to take a lot of talking through and thinking about, as it could have a big impact on his life.
At the end of the day, he's the only one that can make the decision - all people like me can do is provide a shoulder to lean on, and an ear to bend as and when needed....
Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - not blogging....
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
He's been offered a slightly different role withing the company, and has admitted that he's not sure if it's what he really wants, as it means that he will be spending more time in the office, and less time going out on the road to see customers and setting up new accounts for them.
Instead, he'll be working with existing customers, improving relations with them and generally making sure that they're happy with the service that they are recieving.
By his own admission, he's not sure if he's really up for this role, and has said that it's going to take a lot of talking through and thinking about, as it could have a big impact on his life.
At the end of the day, he's the only one that can make the decision - all people like me can do is provide a shoulder to lean on, and an ear to bend as and when needed....
Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - not blogging....
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Recovering from the weekend...
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Karen
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What can I say about the weekend, apart from WOW!
It was the sort of weekend that you dream of having - even if there were a couple of scares - including me scraping a wasp out of my hair - without realising what the damned thing was!
Saturday, Mum and I went to the Town & Country festival at Stoneleigh, and as Mum had a motability scooter, it meant that I was able to walk at my normal pace, knowing full well that Mum was able to keep up with me.
I should have guessed that things were going to go right for me, when I found the last two pieces of a set of Beswick Thelwell figures..
The figure on the left was the one that I liked (I can't find a picture of the one that Mum bought for my birthday - she's always stuck what to get me!) So, that means that I now have the complete set of the unlimited edition figures, as I always disliked the limited edition figures...
Aside from that, we managed to get all sorts of silly bits and pieces - including a hematite necklace for me, and a new handbag. Yes, I've heard all the jokes about women and their handbags - but this was quite reasonable, and will be really useful for me as it's big enough to get my various bits and pieces into...
But, the highlight of the day was the Battle of Britain memorial flight - two Spitfires and one of the two Lancaster Bombers still flying! It was a real treat to see them flying, and they did about four fly-pasts over the showground. I was cursing the fact that I didn't have my camera, as I would have loved to have taken some photos of them in flight, but the memories of the noise and the actual sight of the planes flying will stay with me for a long time...
Sunday was a quieter day, as Mum and I had planned to do very little. Ok - plan and reality had very little in common, but I manage to complete my wedding outfit by getting a rather simple, yet bold camisole from the same shop as my suit.
Today. A different kettle of fish altogether. Mum and I went to Derbyshire to a couple of these so-called outlet villages.. Mum wanted to get some shoes - Fly-flots - and suggested that I had a look as well, as she said that she found hers very comfortable...
So did I - and I ended up buying two pairs - one pair of black toe post sandals (ok - posh flip-flops) and a paid of ajustable mules with diamante detailing in a powder blue... I also managed to get a pair of loafers - something I have been searching for high and low, as I refused to pay £50+ for a pair of shoes that I wasn't very keen on...
I will admit, I did enjoy the driving as I'd volunteered to do so, due to the fact that I wanted Mum map-reading / navigating as well as speed camera spotting as I had no intention of getting nabbed for speeding...
Time to call this quits - I'm shattered, and all I want to do is curl up and sleep!
Back tomorrow...
Karen
It was the sort of weekend that you dream of having - even if there were a couple of scares - including me scraping a wasp out of my hair - without realising what the damned thing was!
Saturday, Mum and I went to the Town & Country festival at Stoneleigh, and as Mum had a motability scooter, it meant that I was able to walk at my normal pace, knowing full well that Mum was able to keep up with me.
I should have guessed that things were going to go right for me, when I found the last two pieces of a set of Beswick Thelwell figures..
The figure on the left was the one that I liked (I can't find a picture of the one that Mum bought for my birthday - she's always stuck what to get me!) So, that means that I now have the complete set of the unlimited edition figures, as I always disliked the limited edition figures...Aside from that, we managed to get all sorts of silly bits and pieces - including a hematite necklace for me, and a new handbag. Yes, I've heard all the jokes about women and their handbags - but this was quite reasonable, and will be really useful for me as it's big enough to get my various bits and pieces into...
But, the highlight of the day was the Battle of Britain memorial flight - two Spitfires and one of the two Lancaster Bombers still flying! It was a real treat to see them flying, and they did about four fly-pasts over the showground. I was cursing the fact that I didn't have my camera, as I would have loved to have taken some photos of them in flight, but the memories of the noise and the actual sight of the planes flying will stay with me for a long time...
Sunday was a quieter day, as Mum and I had planned to do very little. Ok - plan and reality had very little in common, but I manage to complete my wedding outfit by getting a rather simple, yet bold camisole from the same shop as my suit.
Today. A different kettle of fish altogether. Mum and I went to Derbyshire to a couple of these so-called outlet villages.. Mum wanted to get some shoes - Fly-flots - and suggested that I had a look as well, as she said that she found hers very comfortable...
So did I - and I ended up buying two pairs - one pair of black toe post sandals (ok - posh flip-flops) and a paid of ajustable mules with diamante detailing in a powder blue... I also managed to get a pair of loafers - something I have been searching for high and low, as I refused to pay £50+ for a pair of shoes that I wasn't very keen on...
I will admit, I did enjoy the driving as I'd volunteered to do so, due to the fact that I wanted Mum map-reading / navigating as well as speed camera spotting as I had no intention of getting nabbed for speeding...
Time to call this quits - I'm shattered, and all I want to do is curl up and sleep!
Back tomorrow...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Just a little something...
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Karen
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This was sent to me by a friend of mine (who shall remain anonymous, to protect the allegedly innocent), as he said that he's been tempted to / has managed to try out most of the things on this list - and his wife doesn't know....!
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
More jokes...
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Karen
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It looks like today is going to be one of those days when the jokes flow thick and fast... It could be something to do with the fact that it's the August Bank Holiday weekend here in the UK and people seem to be in the mood to chill and send silly stuff - including my friends in the USA...!
So, I make no appologies for these jokes - they've made me smile...
Bubba and Ray (Arkansas mechanical engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder,"
The blonde took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Ray shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde!? We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
The other joke was this one...
The Pentagon Plan USRSF
[No endorsement intended]
The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation ofa new 500-man elite fighting unit called theUnited States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, West Virginia, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas and Louisiana boys, will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
So, I make no appologies for these jokes - they've made me smile...
Bubba and Ray (Arkansas mechanical engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder,"
The blonde took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Ray shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde!? We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
The other joke was this one...
The Pentagon Plan USRSF
[No endorsement intended]
The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation ofa new 500-man elite fighting unit called theUnited States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, West Virginia, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas and Louisiana boys, will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Making a muppet of someone
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Karen
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There's nothing like being able to prove a colleague wrong - especially when the colleague in question takes great delight in taking the mikey out of me...
I recieved an e-mail asking me why a customer hadn't recieved some tyres, when they had allegedly been ordered... Simple. Because the tyres in question had been sent to another customer!
Ok - I know it's nasty to gloat at someone-else's expense, but just occasionally, it's nice to be able to pull the rug out from under this guy's feet, and bring him down to my level...
I mean, the standing joke amongst those people who know the pair of us, is that when we fight (verbally I hasten to add) we don't go toe to toe - we go eyeball to kneecap - and he backs down... No idea why... *Grin*
Ah well, enough gloating - I suppose I should get on with some w*rk...
Back later if I get chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
I recieved an e-mail asking me why a customer hadn't recieved some tyres, when they had allegedly been ordered... Simple. Because the tyres in question had been sent to another customer!
Ok - I know it's nasty to gloat at someone-else's expense, but just occasionally, it's nice to be able to pull the rug out from under this guy's feet, and bring him down to my level...
I mean, the standing joke amongst those people who know the pair of us, is that when we fight (verbally I hasten to add) we don't go toe to toe - we go eyeball to kneecap - and he backs down... No idea why... *Grin*
Ah well, enough gloating - I suppose I should get on with some w*rk...
Back later if I get chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Jokes that make you smile
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Karen
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Occasionally, you get a real barnstormer of a joke, that just has to get shared with friends and relatives... This joke is a good example of it, and I just couldn't resist posting it.
Enjoy.
Karen
Learnng to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Enjoy.
Karen
Learnng to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
This looks a good film....
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Karen
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Ok - call me sick / twisted or anything like that, but the film Snakes on a Plane really appeals to me.
It's the sort of film that doesn't really require much concentration - and has been described as "one of those films where you take your brain out and leave it at the cinema door."
I know I'm not normally one to rave about a film, but it's got one of my favorite actors in it (Samuel L Jackson) and it looks like something that should be a lot of fun..
Time to call this quits - I'm on lunch in a couple of minutes...
Back when I get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
It's the sort of film that doesn't really require much concentration - and has been described as "one of those films where you take your brain out and leave it at the cinema door."
I know I'm not normally one to rave about a film, but it's got one of my favorite actors in it (Samuel L Jackson) and it looks like something that should be a lot of fun..
Time to call this quits - I'm on lunch in a couple of minutes...
Back when I get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Getting Amber's print...
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Karen
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Well, I decided against getting the print for Amber. Ok - let me re-phrase it - Julian said that it was "bonkers" to spend so much on a print for Amber... In a way, I can see his point, but I still like it myself, so I might well get the print for me!
But, I've not given up on the idea of getting a decent Concorde picture for Amber.. I found a reasonable price print on a website I stumbled across whilst web-surfing, called All Posters. (See http://www.allposters.co.uk/)
The print is called Supersonic Countess (See http://affiliates.allposters.com/link/redirect.asp?item=350351&AID=423786166) and is a lot more reasonable at £26 (including the post & packing) The only thing I'll have to do is get the print framed and then it's ready to give to Amber for her birthday... But, that's not an issue as I know a good gallery who have done several framings for Julian in the past and I'm more than happy with their work...
Guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - and I'm suffering from TNFI as per the norm!
Back later if I get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
But, I've not given up on the idea of getting a decent Concorde picture for Amber.. I found a reasonable price print on a website I stumbled across whilst web-surfing, called All Posters. (See http://www.allposters.co.uk/)
The print is called Supersonic Countess (See http://affiliates.allposters.com/link/redirect.asp?item=350351&AID=423786166) and is a lot more reasonable at £26 (including the post & packing) The only thing I'll have to do is get the print framed and then it's ready to give to Amber for her birthday... But, that's not an issue as I know a good gallery who have done several framings for Julian in the past and I'm more than happy with their work...
Guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - and I'm suffering from TNFI as per the norm!
Back later if I get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Distant rumblings
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Karen
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I’m not a happy little tigger. My insurance company has refused to issue a statement of no-claims, as they said that their system wouldn’t allow them to issue it until such time as the policy had expired.
Thanks a bunch. That means that I can’t insure my car with another insurance company, as they won’t release the statement. Thankfully, the new insurer has said that if I provide them with my policy number, and a contact name, then they can get the confirmation over the ‘phone, and can get the ball rolling for me.
Add into the mixture that I’m in a tremendous amount of pain (and the bloody pain killers aren’t working) and you get one pissed off tigger.
Nevertheless, there is one bright spot – I’ve been able to get my hospital appointment moved from the 23rd of November to the 12th of October.
I pointed out that the consultant had asked to see me in September and that the November appointment was far from convenient. So, amazingly, I was offered an appointment the beginning of October, but that was smack bang in the middle of my holiday.
But that doesn't help me with the pain, so I guess that it means that I shoud go and see my GP to see what they can do to help, as I'm getting really fed up.
Suppose I should get on with some w*rk, but I'm suffering from TNFI...
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Thanks a bunch. That means that I can’t insure my car with another insurance company, as they won’t release the statement. Thankfully, the new insurer has said that if I provide them with my policy number, and a contact name, then they can get the confirmation over the ‘phone, and can get the ball rolling for me.
Add into the mixture that I’m in a tremendous amount of pain (and the bloody pain killers aren’t working) and you get one pissed off tigger.
Nevertheless, there is one bright spot – I’ve been able to get my hospital appointment moved from the 23rd of November to the 12th of October.
I pointed out that the consultant had asked to see me in September and that the November appointment was far from convenient. So, amazingly, I was offered an appointment the beginning of October, but that was smack bang in the middle of my holiday.
But that doesn't help me with the pain, so I guess that it means that I shoud go and see my GP to see what they can do to help, as I'm getting really fed up.
Suppose I should get on with some w*rk, but I'm suffering from TNFI...
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
This was too good....
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Karen
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This was sent to me at work - and I just couldn't resist posting it!!!
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Where do I turn now???
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Karen
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That's how I'm feeling at this moment in time. My shoulder has gotten to the stage where I'm finding it difficult to drive into work, let alone do a longer trip - such as Hemel Hempstead, and it's really getting me down, not to mention upsetting my best mate.
I know it sounds like I'm complaining - and this time I am. I'm getting fed up with being palmed off by the sawbones with yet another cortisone jab (which makes my arm swell up - not to mention makes me feel like crap for a couple of days.) Add into the mixture the mere fact that in the past 14 days, I've had to have my shoulder re-aligned by the physio, and you begin to get the picture.
Why am I ranting today? Simple. I've had to call Warwick Hospital to see why my appointment has been changed from 07/09/06 to 23/11/06, and I've yet to get a satisfactory answer.
All I've been told is that the system generated the letter, and yet I know damned well that the system will only generate a new appointment if someone goes in and makes a physical change to the appointment.
And I'd like to know on what gounds such a change has been made, because at the end of the day, I'm the poor bugger that's having to put with the results of the so called system.
Time to call this quits - I'm supposed to be working, not blogging.
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
I know it sounds like I'm complaining - and this time I am. I'm getting fed up with being palmed off by the sawbones with yet another cortisone jab (which makes my arm swell up - not to mention makes me feel like crap for a couple of days.) Add into the mixture the mere fact that in the past 14 days, I've had to have my shoulder re-aligned by the physio, and you begin to get the picture.
Why am I ranting today? Simple. I've had to call Warwick Hospital to see why my appointment has been changed from 07/09/06 to 23/11/06, and I've yet to get a satisfactory answer.
All I've been told is that the system generated the letter, and yet I know damned well that the system will only generate a new appointment if someone goes in and makes a physical change to the appointment.
And I'd like to know on what gounds such a change has been made, because at the end of the day, I'm the poor bugger that's having to put with the results of the so called system.
Time to call this quits - I'm supposed to be working, not blogging.
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
When the pieces start to fit...
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Karen
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That's how I feel after spending a weekend in Hemel with my best friend. I'd agreed to go and see him and his family and the idea was that I would aim to get to the service area on the A41 (yes - the same one that I overshot when I went down there the first time!) for about 15:30 on Saturday afternoon...
As luck would have it, I got clear of the hairdresser's a lot faster than I'd expected (almost as if someone had whispered in Paul's ear that I wanted to get moving) and so was able to let my friend know that I was clear a lot earlier than expected!
He was still at Thames Valley Harley Davidson getting the bike sorted out, and finding out the reason that the bike has an oil leak... The engine cowling is very slightly distorted, thus allowing the bike to leak...
So, I had plenty of time to get something to eat before heading home to grab a shower (simply because I was covered in short hairs from my haircut, and they were driving me scatty.)
That meant that I was on the road south at 13:15! It was a reasonable run south, and I will admit to having a little bit of a heavy right foot whilst I was on the M40 (like about 85mph...)
But that was before I got to the roadworks - which have got a heavily enforced 50mph speed limit - the rotten sods have nasty speed cameras on that section - and I had no intention of getting nicked for speeding!
I called my friend as agreed when I was in Aylesbury (the message was along the lines of ... I'm Aylesbury, and they're all trying to kill me - they keep aiming at me!) and as I didn't hear anything, assumed that he was still on the bike.
I kept on heading towards Hemel, and I will admit to keeping the car under the speed limit - as in I was doing 60mph instead of the usual 75 - 80 mph, as I wasn't sure where the service turn was..
I could recall that it was after a bridge and on a downhill stretch, but that wasn't a lot of help as most of the road is downhill, and there were quite a few bridges...
The turning came up, and I was muttering darkly about the sharpness of the turning, as it meant that I was having to brake and steer at the same time - not a good move, considering the fact that I'm not really happy with the tyres on my car... But, as I pulled into the car park, I had a lovely surprise... My friend was there, complete with the bike!
He was really surprised, and said that he'd only just finished putting his stuff in the boxes on the bike, and had just been about to call me. He said that I must have been hammering it from Aylesbury, and didn't believe me when I said that I'd been taking it easy...
I will admit to laughing, and we headed to his home, with him leading. I could tell he was enjoying being out on the bike, and decided to give up when he gave the bike a bit of throttle.
Ok - it's a big bike, but the power to weight ratio still wipes the floor with the Peugeot (much as it galls me to admit it!), and he also did his favorite thing - he opened the throttles on the bike when we were going under two bridges which form a semi tunnel..
I could hear the roar of the engine over my stereo and I was less than impressed - I much prefer listening to Gary Moore without the accompaniment of a Harley engine!
We got to his home, and I parked the car on the lawn (his suggestion before I get comments about female drivers!) and was able to veg out before we went to the speedway. . .
Because I'd started to relax, my shoulder decided that it was time to remind me that I'd over done things, and started to hurt like hell. So, I took a couple of pain killers and didn't think anymore of it - until I realised that they weren't working!
Speedway. What can I say apart from WOW! My friend had described it as a minute of pure lunacy - and he wasn't wrong! It was a good meeting, with the home team winning quite comfortably.
The trip back after the speedway wasn't very comfortable for me, but that was because the painkillers weren't working, and I will admit to trying to meditate on the way back in order to quieten the pain...
It seemed to work a bit, and I was only too glad to be able to sit down without getting bounced around like a small rubber ball - the roads around Hemel leave a lot to be desired!
We sat chatting for a bit, and then I settled down to get what sleep I could, given the fact that I was in an awful lot of pain. I woke up at 03:00, and took some more pills, and was woken quite gently at about 09:00 by my friend.
He admitted that he was a bit apprehensive about waking me, as I apparently had my right hand curled into a fist, and he was worried I would take a swipe at him!
I went and had a shower, as my hair was sticking up and out in all directions, and then headed for the gallery in Wendover (see http://www.aceshigh-uk.com/) as there was a signing being done by one of the WWII bomber crews.
Whilst he was waiting to get the autographs, I made the most of the time and buzzed off to look for a print of Concorde for my god-sprog's birthday. The little munchkin has been on at me to get her a picture of Concorde ever since she spotted mine. But, the only problem is, mine is the one with the Red Arrows and Concorde, plus it's got all the autographs.
I found a couple of prints of commercial aircraft - a nice on of a B747-classic, and a B767 preparing for take-off, but I knew damned well that if I got either of those, then she would be disappointed, as it wasn't Concorde.
So, I asked if there were any prints available. There were, and the one I liked was £145. It's called Speedbird, and is by a good artist called Simon Atack. (See http://www.aceshigh-uk.com/pinfo/993)
Ok - not a problem if I had being buying the print for me, but Amber is only 5... So I will admit to having reservations about it, and decided to leave it until I'd spoken to Julian, who had said that he would go 50/50 with me on the cost of the print.
We left the gallery, and headed towards home, via the pub! We decided that it was too nice to sit inside, so we took our drinks outside, and sat talking...
We talked about various things, including making plans to get together in November to go 'round the Motorcyle museum in Birmingham (http://www.nationalmotorcyclemuseum.co.uk/), and if I get my way, the Museum of Road Transport in Coventry. (See http://www.transport-museum.com/)
We finished our pints, and went for a walk to see some horses that were in a near-by field. I'd got my stand by treat of polos with me, and unknown to me, whilst I was bribing the horses with polos, my friend was taking 'photos of me on his phone!
The rest of the afternoon passed in a haze of pain for me, as my shoulder was killing me, and I will admit to being uncertain about my ability to drive home. Thankfully, I was able to get home in one piece - even if I did stop in Banbury, as there is no-where safe on the A41 for you to stop and have a break..
So, I guess that this means that I've got to get my shoulder sorted out, but the weekend was a sucess for me in more ways than one - I've been to my first speedway meeting and sorted out things that were bothering me with someone I care for...
Suppose I'd better call this quits - I'm supposed to be working. Well, that's the theory anyway!
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
As luck would have it, I got clear of the hairdresser's a lot faster than I'd expected (almost as if someone had whispered in Paul's ear that I wanted to get moving) and so was able to let my friend know that I was clear a lot earlier than expected!
He was still at Thames Valley Harley Davidson getting the bike sorted out, and finding out the reason that the bike has an oil leak... The engine cowling is very slightly distorted, thus allowing the bike to leak...
So, I had plenty of time to get something to eat before heading home to grab a shower (simply because I was covered in short hairs from my haircut, and they were driving me scatty.)
That meant that I was on the road south at 13:15! It was a reasonable run south, and I will admit to having a little bit of a heavy right foot whilst I was on the M40 (like about 85mph...)
But that was before I got to the roadworks - which have got a heavily enforced 50mph speed limit - the rotten sods have nasty speed cameras on that section - and I had no intention of getting nicked for speeding!
I called my friend as agreed when I was in Aylesbury (the message was along the lines of ... I'm Aylesbury, and they're all trying to kill me - they keep aiming at me!) and as I didn't hear anything, assumed that he was still on the bike.
I kept on heading towards Hemel, and I will admit to keeping the car under the speed limit - as in I was doing 60mph instead of the usual 75 - 80 mph, as I wasn't sure where the service turn was..
I could recall that it was after a bridge and on a downhill stretch, but that wasn't a lot of help as most of the road is downhill, and there were quite a few bridges...
The turning came up, and I was muttering darkly about the sharpness of the turning, as it meant that I was having to brake and steer at the same time - not a good move, considering the fact that I'm not really happy with the tyres on my car... But, as I pulled into the car park, I had a lovely surprise... My friend was there, complete with the bike!
He was really surprised, and said that he'd only just finished putting his stuff in the boxes on the bike, and had just been about to call me. He said that I must have been hammering it from Aylesbury, and didn't believe me when I said that I'd been taking it easy...
I will admit to laughing, and we headed to his home, with him leading. I could tell he was enjoying being out on the bike, and decided to give up when he gave the bike a bit of throttle.
Ok - it's a big bike, but the power to weight ratio still wipes the floor with the Peugeot (much as it galls me to admit it!), and he also did his favorite thing - he opened the throttles on the bike when we were going under two bridges which form a semi tunnel..
I could hear the roar of the engine over my stereo and I was less than impressed - I much prefer listening to Gary Moore without the accompaniment of a Harley engine!
We got to his home, and I parked the car on the lawn (his suggestion before I get comments about female drivers!) and was able to veg out before we went to the speedway. . .
Because I'd started to relax, my shoulder decided that it was time to remind me that I'd over done things, and started to hurt like hell. So, I took a couple of pain killers and didn't think anymore of it - until I realised that they weren't working!
Speedway. What can I say apart from WOW! My friend had described it as a minute of pure lunacy - and he wasn't wrong! It was a good meeting, with the home team winning quite comfortably.
The trip back after the speedway wasn't very comfortable for me, but that was because the painkillers weren't working, and I will admit to trying to meditate on the way back in order to quieten the pain...
It seemed to work a bit, and I was only too glad to be able to sit down without getting bounced around like a small rubber ball - the roads around Hemel leave a lot to be desired!
We sat chatting for a bit, and then I settled down to get what sleep I could, given the fact that I was in an awful lot of pain. I woke up at 03:00, and took some more pills, and was woken quite gently at about 09:00 by my friend.
He admitted that he was a bit apprehensive about waking me, as I apparently had my right hand curled into a fist, and he was worried I would take a swipe at him!
I went and had a shower, as my hair was sticking up and out in all directions, and then headed for the gallery in Wendover (see http://www.aceshigh-uk.com/) as there was a signing being done by one of the WWII bomber crews.
Whilst he was waiting to get the autographs, I made the most of the time and buzzed off to look for a print of Concorde for my god-sprog's birthday. The little munchkin has been on at me to get her a picture of Concorde ever since she spotted mine. But, the only problem is, mine is the one with the Red Arrows and Concorde, plus it's got all the autographs.
I found a couple of prints of commercial aircraft - a nice on of a B747-classic, and a B767 preparing for take-off, but I knew damned well that if I got either of those, then she would be disappointed, as it wasn't Concorde.
So, I asked if there were any prints available. There were, and the one I liked was £145. It's called Speedbird, and is by a good artist called Simon Atack. (See http://www.aceshigh-uk.com/pinfo/993)
Ok - not a problem if I had being buying the print for me, but Amber is only 5... So I will admit to having reservations about it, and decided to leave it until I'd spoken to Julian, who had said that he would go 50/50 with me on the cost of the print.
We left the gallery, and headed towards home, via the pub! We decided that it was too nice to sit inside, so we took our drinks outside, and sat talking...
We talked about various things, including making plans to get together in November to go 'round the Motorcyle museum in Birmingham (http://www.nationalmotorcyclemuseum.co.uk/), and if I get my way, the Museum of Road Transport in Coventry. (See http://www.transport-museum.com/)
We finished our pints, and went for a walk to see some horses that were in a near-by field. I'd got my stand by treat of polos with me, and unknown to me, whilst I was bribing the horses with polos, my friend was taking 'photos of me on his phone!
The rest of the afternoon passed in a haze of pain for me, as my shoulder was killing me, and I will admit to being uncertain about my ability to drive home. Thankfully, I was able to get home in one piece - even if I did stop in Banbury, as there is no-where safe on the A41 for you to stop and have a break..
So, I guess that this means that I've got to get my shoulder sorted out, but the weekend was a sucess for me in more ways than one - I've been to my first speedway meeting and sorted out things that were bothering me with someone I care for...
Suppose I'd better call this quits - I'm supposed to be working. Well, that's the theory anyway!
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
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