Walking in the Shadows

Random musings from Warwickshire on life in general... Things that make me laugh, make me cry, things that wind me up beyond all endurance - and everything in between.

Its funny how life turns around....

I know that I've not posted for a while, but to be honest, my life has been a little too manic for me to even think about going near a computer after I finish work, and I don't seem to get the time to post whilst I'm at my desk.

So, I guess that now's as good a time as any to bring this blog up to-date. I've had the cortisone jab in my shoulder, and as I type this entry, I'm beginning to wonder if I've made the right decision.

Simply because the shoulder doesn't seem any easier, and just to add insult to the injury, my damned arm has swollen up, making it near impossible to wear my watch and my normal ring on my right hand.

But, I'm willing to give this shot chance to work, simply because I don't want to go and see a saw-bones, as I know that it will mean a substantial lay-off from the things that I enjoy doing - including the horse-riding!

Horse-riding.... That was the reason I used to sign off on my last blog entry. I will admit, it was break that I really needed, and in a way, all it did was re-affirm the bond that I have with my partner, who has been a tower of strength to me, whilst I try to get to grips with things.

But, I’ve always said that this time of year is not good for me at all, as it’s nearly a year since Dad died. And to make matters worse, my feelings for someone are getting stronger.

I know this sounds crazy, especially when I love my partner so much, but this other person makes me laugh, and seems to have the knack of bringing me out of whatever funk I’m in, by aiming some silly comment or joke in my direction.

In some ways, I get the feeling that it’s a case of familiarity breeds contempt – especially where my partner is concerned. We’ve been together since Christmas, and he’s been a real help, when I’ve hit a few rough patches. Now, I feel like I’m betraying him – emotionally, at least, by having feelings for this other person.

So, I guess that the only thing I can do, is carry on what I’ve been doing – and that’s hiding my emotions, never letting on how I feel about this person, and praying that no-one realises the conflict that’s raging inside me.

Time to call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be getting ready to go out to dinner with my partner.

Back tomorrow, if I get the chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

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