Farewell to Peugeot UK??

Well, it's finally happened. Peuegot has decided to close the Ryton plant, on economic grounds. I can understand Peugot's reasons - they have to ship in everything that they need to build to cars at Ryton (they currently build the 206 and the 206 SW), and then have to deal with the expense of shipping the cars back into Europe.


There have been calls to boycott Peugeot cars, but I'm afraid that the writing has been on the wall for a long time. Even before Peugeot took over the site, one previous owner threatened to stop car production, and said that they would make washing machines instead.

Ok - I can sympathise with the workforce, but my sympathy is tempered by the knowledge that I had to wait in excess of 8 weeks to get my car - and it wasn't something super exotic! Ok - it's a small auto, but that shouldn't have caused that sort of delay...

Time to call this quits - I'm supposed to be working...

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Biting the bullet

I’m more than a little fed up at the moment, simply because I’m irritated by the lack of support that I seem to be getting from certain members of my department. However, as I decided to make my feelings known I get the feeling that I’m going to be hauled over hot coals for my comments yesterday.

To be honest, I just don’t care, as I’ve got enough on my plate as it is – I’ve got to go back to the doctor next Friday for blood tests, as the nurse wasn’t happy with my blood pressure, and the fact that if one of the cats sneeze, I bruise.

Add into that mixture that I’m really worried about my mate, and you get a stressed out tigger. The poor bugger is fast approaching breaking point, and has said that the sooner he gets out of the company he’s working for, the happier he’s going to be. I know that I shouldn’t worry about him, but hearing him so down really upsets me.

Ah well, suppose I should get on with some work, but my heart’s not really in it at all…

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Am I losing the plot???

I've done nothing but cry today. The slightest thing, and that's it - it's like someone's turned on the waterworks.

I wish I knew what the hell was causing me to feel like this, beacuse all it's doing is destroying my confidence - and upsetting someone who doesn't need me adding to his woes.

Guess I should call this quits - I've got loads of work that I'm supposed to be doing, and my heart just isn't in it...

Back when I can get some semblance of order to my emotions and thoughts...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Hemel, Brooklands and tears

The title of this entry sums up the weekend that I've just had. I should have suspected that I wasn't my normal self when I managed to overshoot the turning to the services on the A41. Mainly because I was too intent on proving to some fool in an under-powered Vauxhall Corsa that he shouldn't try taking on a 1.6 Peugeot 206 - especially when it's in sports mode!

So, me being me, decided to see if there was another turn, and called my friend to say that I thought I'd over shot the turn. Which as it turned out I had done and will freely admit to muttering all kinds of unkind things about wrong directions and things like that.

Thankfully, my friend was a real darling, and met me in Hemel and guided me home -via the local chip shop for dinner!

His family were really pleasant, and we sat chatting about family, friends and common interests, and I will admit to being only too glad to get some sleep - even if it was on the sofa, as I was knackered.

Saturday morning seemed to come all too soon, and my friend scared the hell out of me by touching the back of my hand... I will admit to jumping and I think it took him by surprise, but I had been out for the count!

We headed to Brooklands, and I will admit to feeling slightly unsettled. Why, I have no idea, but in hindsight, I guess that it was because I knew in the back of my mind that this was a place that I'd wanted to visit with Dad, and would never get the chance to do so.

There were some beautiful cars there, and more to the point, several exhibts that I was determined to see - including the Concorde that was being restored. The tail was stood on several truck tyres, and one of the volunteers said that the restoration should be finished by July this year.

We also watched the cars going up the Brooklands test hill - including one brave soul in a Fiat 500 - complete with a trailer!

Then, Sunday it was a trip to the gallery where my friend gets most of his beautiful WWII aircraft prints. I was ok until I saw the Concorde print, complete with the signatures of the respective captains. That just opened the floodagtes, and I burst into tears. I couldn't help it - the memories that had been stirred up by my trip to Brooklands (where Dad started his apprenticeship) and seeing the print was the straw that broke the tigger.

My friend was a real angel, and did his best to help me, but I know that he wasn't sure what he could do to help me, which seemed to really upset him.

The trouble was, there wasn't a damned thing that anyone could do to help me - I know this time of year is not good for me, as I tend to go to pieces at the slightest thing, and in hindsight, I should have perhaps warned him that I was fragile...

Guess I should call this entry quits - I've got to make peace with the furry fiends, who are both giving me the evil eye as I've had the nerve to leave them for a couple of days...

Back when I get the chance - or more to the point, if I'm still in one piece from the fiends!

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Getting ready to escape…

As I type this, I don’t mind admitting that I’m nervous. Why I have no idea, but I guess that it’s just me being slightly apprehensive – simply because I’m heading south to spend a few days with my daft hog riding friend and his family.

Thankfully, he’s been a real darling and sent me directions, so all I have to do is read them and follow them to the point where we’re supposed to meet up...

Aside from that, I gave Mum her birthday present last night, and I half expected her to lynch me as she realised what I’d bought her as soon as she saw the bag it was in (no – I didn’t wrap it up – I just about had time to draw breath on Wednesday, let alone get the peace and quiet to wrap the present up!)

What I’d bought her was a piece of studio glass – from the Okra glass factory. It was a one off piece made for B W Thornton in Stratford, and as soon as I saw it, I fell for it.

Ok – I knew that I would end up going there for Mum’s present, but I had no idea what to get her, and was totally open minded about what I got – the only limit being that I was unwilling to pay more that £200 for whatever I decided to get her.

Admittedly, £200 sounds an awful lot, but given that Dad and I had bought one piece for £350 (which is truly spectacular), I felt that it was a reasonable level to set. In the end, the piece was very reasonable - £60!

Mum was over the moon, and said that it was just the sort of thing that she would have bought, and that she knew as soon as she saw the bag what it was likely to be… I just neglected to tell her that I’d taken yesterday morning off to get it for her!

I also had to go back to Warwick hospital yesterday... I was due to see the sawbones about my shoulder (which is no better - more in a bit) and also got my ribs checked over. The ribs have healed, and I've been given the all clear to start riding again, as long as I wear my body armour!

However, the shoulder is still giving me serious grief, and I don't think I've done myself any favours by refusing the cortisone jab that the sawbones wanted to do yesterday.

The only reason that I refused was because I'm heading south today, and I have no intention of going to see a good friend when I'm in pain with my shoulder and suffering from the after effects of the cortisone jab. So, it's off to the hospital on July 6th to get the jab in the shoulder.

Until then, I'm going to have to grin and bear it, and hope that I'm not too bad tempered after the drive this afternoon...

Guess I should call this entry quits – I’m supposed to be working, not blogging!

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Tears, frustration and irritation

Today has not been a good day for me. It started off when I had a row with one of the girls in the office, as I refused to go to the quiz night next month. Why? Simply because it will be two years to the date that my Dad died – and I have FAR more important things to do, other than watching the members of my department making complete fools of themselves with their lack of knowledge on world events.

To compound a rotten day in the office you can add into the equation the mere fact that I’m still in pain because of my trip to the chiropractor (who’s still trying to finish putting my vertebrae back into their correct positions), and you get an unhappy tigger.

The final straw that broke the tigger’s back was when the alarm went off for no apparent reason. Which is why I’m sitting at my computer at 00:23 updating my blog – thank god I’m off today, otherwise I would be completely wiped out.

Mum knows that I’m off in the afternoon, but she doesn’t know that I’ve booked the morning off so that I can go and get her birthday present – and I haven’t got the foggiest idea what to get her!

Time to call this quits – I need to get some sleep if I can…

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Actual annoucements...

I've always been a fan of this sort of thing, and I just couldn't resist posting them..

Enjoy.

A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers...

1."Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction."

2. "Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."

3. "Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination."

4. "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall...’."

5. "We are now travelling through Baker Street... As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that.”

6. "Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me."

7. During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: "Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman... unfortunately, towels are not provided."

8. "Let the passengers off the train FIRST!”
(Pause.)
"Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home...."

9. "Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with ‘Please hold the doors open.’ The two are distinct and separate instructions."

10. "Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors."

11. "We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door."

12."To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"

13. "Please move all baggage away from the doors.”
(Pause...)
"Please move ALL belongings away from the doors.”
(Pause...)
"This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bl**dy golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your a**e sideways!"

14."May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage."

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Why we like the British - From British Newspapers!

This got sent to me, and I just couldn’t resist posting it….

Why we like the British - From British Newspapers!

1. Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.”

(The Daily Telegraph)

2. Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend.

(The Manchester Evening News)

3. Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.

(The Guardian)

4. A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common.”
(The Times)

5. At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.

(Aberdeen Evening Express)

6. Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'"
(Bournemouth Evening Echo)

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Let go of the past

Your journey has moulded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think that you've lost time. There is no shortcutting to life. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.


No regrets. As we become more aware, we begin to realize that there's a purpose to everything that happens. This builds our trust, and supports us in being willing to be more open and daring to really experience life as it unfolds.

I don't think anymore needs to be said.

Karen

Learing to fly, but I don't have wings

Hell explained by chemistry student.

This was too good not to post….


Hell explained by chemistry student.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Danger – incoming jokes…

Can’t I tell that my friend is back from sick leave. The jokes are coming in thick and fast – and only some of them are postable! This was one of the ones that did make me smile….

A fireman is polishing his fire engine outside the fire station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red cart with little ladders hung on the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The little girl is wearing a fireman's helmet and has the cart tied to a dog and a cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look:

"That's a lovely fire engine,” he says admiringly.

“Thanks” says the little girl. The fireman looks closer and notices the little girl has tied one of the cart's strings to the dog's collar and one to the cat's testicles.

“Little colleague,” says the fire-fighter, “I don't want to tell you how to run your fire engine, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could probably go a lot faster.”

The little girl pauses for a moment, looks at the wagon, at the dog and at the cat, then shyly looks into the fireman's eyes and says:

“You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a f**king siren, would I?”

Another joke that came from the same source also made me smile….

One of Florida's finest senior citizens went down to his local Chevrolet dealer and bought a brand new Corvette convertible. Heading off the car lot and down the road, he floored it and enjoyed the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.

"This is great," he thought as he roared down I-75.

Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a Florida State Highway Patrol Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him with no problem," thought the man as he stood on the gas pedal -- 80, 120, 150, 180 mph.

Then, he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing."

He pulled over to the side of the Interstate and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.

The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the Corvette.

"Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked at the trooper and said: "Fifteen years ago, my wife
Ran off with a Florida State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the trooper

And a final thought…

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are dose?, asks the attendant. "They're called tees," replies Tiger.

"Well, what on god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.

"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving,” says Tiger.

"Fookin Jaysus,” says the Irishman, "BMW tinks of everyting!"

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Good news from the front

Well, my friend is back from the hospital, and has been told that he snores. Ok – not breaking news as such, but they (the hospital) have said that he may need a small operation, which may or may not cure his hearing problem.

He won’t know what the verdict is until he goes back to the hospital in six months time, but until then, he can’t really do very much apart from put up with it.

Suppose I’d better call this quits – we’re short staffed due to some meeting or other, and I’m suffering from a severe case of TNFI…

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Knackered, and glad it’s Friday

I slept like a log last night, but I’m still tired. I guess it’s as a result of going to see the chiropractor, who managed to put several of my vertebrae back into position, after I was kicked by Flame.

Ok – I admit that the body armour took most of the impact, but there was still damage done. Thankfully, my chiropractor has been able to sort most of it out, but I still have to go back to see him on Tuesday night to finish the job off.

Aside from that, I’m worried about my daft friend, who has to go to the hospital today, to see what can be done about the ringing in his ears. The poor guy has been suffering with this for quite a while, and he’s finally gotten fed up enough to get his GP to do something about this for him.

Guess I should call this quits – I’m supposed to be working, but to be honest, I can think of quite a few places that I would rather be, other than here!

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings.

Another joke…

Amazing what I get sent – and I’m afraid this is so true….

New Staff Recruitment Procedure

Put about 100 bricks in no particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone, come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks - put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them - put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks - put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order - put them in planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other - put them in construction.

If they are sleeping - put them in reception.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces - put them in IT.

If they are sitting idle - put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved - put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day - put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the window - put them on strategic planning.

And then last but not least:

If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved – congratulate them and put them in management!

Karen

Learning to fly but I don’t have wings

Feeling more awake…

There’s something about talking to a good friend at lunchtime to make you smile. I was talking to my friend, and he sounded so much brighter than he has done for a while. He said that he’d been to see a chiropractor, who’d put four vertebrae in his lower back into position.

He sounded so much brighter, and said that he has to go back on Saturday morning and on Monday as well, as he has some problems that the chiropractor was hoping to be able to cure for him. He’s hoping to be much more mobile when I go and see him the end of this month.

Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend don't break, baby don't back down

That made me smile, and I admitted that I was going to be going to see my chiropractor tonight, as I’ve still got problems with my back – but this stems from when I got kicked, as I somehow flexed my back, and managed to put things out of position.

We got talking about other things, and he made me laugh quite a bit – which still hurts my ribs, but it was well worth the pain as he always manages to make me smile… Especially as he said that the weekend I was down there, he was going to make it a really good weekend for the pair of us…

Getaway - ya know it's now or never
Getaway - nobody lives forever
We’re only waitin' just to make our getaway

Guess I should think about doing some w*rk, but I have to admit, I’m suffering from a severe case of TNFI…

Back when I get chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Tired little tigger…

Ever had one of those occasions where you just couldn’t settle down to sleep? Well I had one last night – simply because I was worried about a friend.

Because he’s off sick as a result of this accident, his company are making it plain that they think he’s pulling the wool over their eyes, even though he’s been signed off by the doctor, and has been told that they want to reclaim the money that they pay him whilst he’s off from any compensation that he may get.

Needless to say, he’s not very happy, and has admitted that he is going to start seriously looking for another job.

As for me, well I did my best to settle down and get some sleep, but it was a combination of factors that stopped me – the pain from my shoulder (which is still playing up), the pain from my ribs (which are still healing) and the worry about my friend.

I know what he’ll tell me – that he’s ok, and that I shouldn’t worry about him, but it’s easier said than done, as he’s off to the doctor’s today… How do I know this? Simple – he sent me a text message this morning:

…. I’m going to my docs again today, so I’ll let you know when I get back and what I’m doing…

I just hope that he does manage to get something sorted out, as the poor guy can’t keep on like this, and more to the point, he needs to be able to sort things out with regards to his job – because all it’s doing at the moment is flattening him, and making him unhappy – not to mention ill.

If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting
Time after time

But, at the end of the day, all I can do is act as a shoulder for him to lean on, and give him a friendly ear that he can bend when he needs it…

Guess I should call this quits – I’m supposed to be working, not blogging.

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Start the day with a smile.... And get it over with!

This was something that did make me smile, and I just couldn't resist posting it....

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ....they're cramming for their final exam.

17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

19. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

24. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS!!!"
Guess I should think about doing some work, but I've got a severe case of TNFI...

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

You're off for how long???

Well, my friend has been to see his GP, and has been signed off for three weeks! The poor guy didn't sound too good, and said that he felt like he was getting no support from the company that he works for, as they seem to be giving the impression that he's pulling a fast one.

If it had been anyone other than him, I would have been inclined to agree, but I know him well enough to know that he struggles into work - even when I tell him that he's not fit enough to be in.

But, I get the feeling that he's going to need a daft ear to bend, and I'll do my best to help him.

Guess that I should call this quits - I've got to sort the furry fiends out before I crawl into my pit...

Back tomorrow.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Worrying about a friend...

Getting a message like this at 07:15 in the morning is not a good sign...

Good morning Kaz, just to say that I am going back to the hospital.
I can't move much this morning, so I'm leaving now and not going in.
Will let you know what's going on later. Take good care..

Poor sod. I will admit to being worried about him until I called him at lunchtime. He'd finally escaped from the hospital, and had been told that he'd either sprained his back or shifted a disc.

The bit that did make me wonder was the mere fact that the hospital told him that he had to go to his GP if he wanted a sick note, as they were unable to sign him off.

That struck me as a little peculiar, but as he lives in a different region to me, it could be that his local NHS trust has a different policy to the one here - the consultant in A & E tried to sign me me off when I went to see him with broken ribs!

Time to call this quits - I want to veg out..

Back tomorrow.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Next time you think you are having a bad day in the office ...

I'm sorry - this was too good not to post!

*************************************************

Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers. He performs underwater repairs on off-shore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.

She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,


Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I must first bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my BR chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Trying to re-assure a friend...

Trying to re-assure a friend that he’s not going crazy after his car accident is not an easy thing to do.

He sent me the following text:

Kaz, please talk to me.

I called him and the poor guy was nearly in tears, and said that he was scared of being in a car. He admitted that he was constantly looking in the rear-view mirror, and hated being in traffic.

It was really distressing for me to hear him so upset, and I did my best to re-assure him that he wasn’t going mad, and that it was a normal reaction given what had happened to him yesterday.

But, at the end of the day, all I can do is re-assure him, and give him whatever help and assistance I can over the 'phone, and when I see him, make him realise that he's a really special guy to me, and that I would (and will) move Heaven & Earth to help him if he needs my help.

Time to call this quits - it's about the time Mum gets home from the late shift.

Back tomorrow.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

I must have been a real b'stard in a previous existance...

What makes me say that? Simple. It's not been a good day for me at all.

First of all, I woke up this morning to discover a water leak in the bathroom, meaning that we've had to call out an emergency plumber to fix the leak (the toilet cistern feed was leaking), plus there have been tiles comming off the wall in the kitchen, as the water soaked through the floorboards and loosened the adhesive.

Then, I sent a text message to my friend asking if he was ok, only to get the following reply:

Kaz, I can't talk now - I'll call you in a bit.

I will admit to feeling slightly apprehensive, and then when I got this message from him - I burst into tears!

Hiya, I'm sorry to say the GTi is in a bad way. I've just been involved in an RTA, but I'm at home.

As soon as I was calm enough (which took a few seconds), I called him. It turned out that he'd been shunted into the back of another car when he was comming back from an escape, and was fairly sure that the car was going to be a write off.

I will admit to nagging him to go to the hospital though, and asked him to let me know that he was ok - which he did so. It turns out that he has whiplash, and that he hurts like hell.

But, as far as I'm concerned, he's in one piece. Cars are bits of metals that can be repaired or replaced - but flesh and blood is infinitely more important.

Time to call this quits - I need to get to bed.

Back tomorrow if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Trying to salvage a friendship....

Sometimes, I feel like a real low life. I got a text from an old friend of mine, that really upset me...

Not heard from you for a month, Mum died on Feb 20.

Where was my friend when I needed you?

I mean, when the hell can you say to a text like that??? I will admit, I had to think fast on my feet, and sent a reply saying that I'd been out of the country, and had only just gotten back.

Thankfully, my friend didn't hold a grudge against me, and we got talking about various things, and I will admit, when I put the 'phone down, I was quite upset.

But, as luck would have it, I was able to speak to my daft friend later, and he said that he was a little bit upset because he was getting rid of his current bike, but was looking forward to getting the new one.

I thought I'd managed to hide the fact that I was feeling down, but obviously, I didn't do it well enough, and he asked whet was wrong. When I told him about the 'phone call I'd had, he seemed quite quite upset that I hadn't called him.

It wasn't a case of not wanting to call him - I did - I just needed time to get my emotions under some form of control, as I could see myself bursting into tears on the 'phone, as all the previous phone call had done was dig up the memories and emotions that I had done my best to bury after Dad died.

Guess I should call this quits - I need to get some sleep tonight...

Back tomorrow if I get the chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

More rotten jokes…

It’s at times like this when you realise just who your friends really are – they’re the ones who go out of their way to make you smile and laugh (even if it does hurt like hell to do so!)

I get all sorts of jokes sent to me, but this was one that really did make me flinch with pain, simply because I was laughing so much!

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman Pinscher and the other had a Chihuahua. As they sauntered down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar and get something to drink."

The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

The one with the Doberman said, "Just follow my lead." They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in. The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."

The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my Seeing Eye dog." The bouncer said, "A Doberman pinscher?" The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."

The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."

The lady with the Chihuahua figured convincing him a Chihuahua was a seeing eye dog may be too far fetched, but thought "what the heck", so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.

Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."

The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my Seeing Eye dog."

The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"

The woman with the Chihuahua said, "A Chihuahua? They gave me a fuckin' Chihuahua???!!"

Back tomorrow, if my ribs have improved any…

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

In a world of pain…

I’m beginning to wonder if I should be in… I slipped in the kitchen last night, and fell and landed against the edge of the sink… Ok – not normally a big problem, but I landed on the side that had the cracked ribs…

I called my friend and we spoke for a while, until he persuaded me to go to the hospital to get myself checked out… I will admit, I felt guilty about asking Mum to take me to the A&E department, but when she saw the state I was in, I got earache for not telling her earlier!

I got home at 00:45, and could just about see straight enough to send my friend a message to let him know that I was ok, but I will admit to being spaced out of my brain cell (I’d had a pethadine jab) – I felt like I was floating! (Now I know how Fred must feel on catnip!)

I sent him an e-mail to say I was in the office, and he replied, telling me that I shouldn’t be in…

…hope you are ok but the drugs must have done your head in. What are you doing in work you silly girl? Just make sure that whoever needs to know knows about your situation.

 It’s nearly time for me to take some more painkillers – and I don’t know when I’ll be back to updating this, as my ribs are hurting the whole time I’m sitting at the computer…

Back when I get relatively pain-free…

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Something to brighten a dreary day…

I’m bored. However, I’m lucky enough to have people out in the big bad world who’ll send me such gems as this:

WHY I AM TIRED
For a couple years, I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax build-up, poor blood circulation, or anything else I could think of.
But now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. Based on our own Government statistics here's why:
The population of this country is 273 million.
140 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 14.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time, there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are sitting on your butt, at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice.
Guess I should get on with some w*rk, but I’m suffering from a severe lack of interest…

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Planning another escape…

I get back from one escape, and I immediately start planning another escape – with the same person!

This time, it’s the Italian car day at Brooklands, and from what I’ve been told, it should be one hell of a weekend. Apparently, there are loads of cars there, and you get the chance to walk around, ask questions and get your sticky little mitts on them as well!

I’ve got to admit, I’m really looking forward to this, and all I need to do is find out what date this is, and see if Mum’s got anything planned, as the last thing I want to do is upset her…

Guess I should call this quits - I’m supposed to be working…

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

A fun but tiring weekend…

It was just the sort of weekend I needed to brighten my mood after a rotten week.

I got to our meeting point, and was able to sneak up on my friend who had his back to the door, and made him jump by giving him a cuddle. We had a coffee and talked about the route to Cosford – which meant that we would have to use the M6… Ok – not a problem there, as it was a Saturday, but I knew from past experience that traffic could be hell.

The museum at Cosford opened at 10am, and there were a couple of aircraft outside... Not an issue, but it was blowing a gale across the airfield, and I was shivering, despite the fact that I had a heavy coat on – as it was my legs that were cold!

Once inside, my friend was a real angel and guided my frozen carcass to the hot air vents, which supplied heat to the museum building – and me! Once I was warmed up (ok – not nearly as warm as I would have liked, but I don’t think my friend would have been too keen on staying by the heater as it was quite a drive to get to Cosford!), we started to go ‘round the museum.

I will admit, I was wishing that Dad was with me, as he would have really enjoyed the museum – simply because he would have been able to tell me about the passenger aircraft that my friend and I were looking at.

The exhibits were incredible, and I will admit being awestruck by the sheer size of the Lincoln bomb bay, and my friend was a real angel, and explained about the different ways that the bombs could be loaded, and also showed me the loading diagram on the side of the bomb bay.

I also saw one of my favourite aircraft – the Spitfire. Ok – I know that sounds corny, but it really is a favourite of mine, and I’ve been lucky enough to see one flying several times – and one of those times was when the Lancaster bomber was flying as well…

We then walked down to the other hangar, where there were a variety of aircraft, including the York transport aircraft – which was another derivation of the Lancaster bomber. My friend was quite upset, as the aircraft had its tail pointing towards us, and we were unable to go around the front, but he took the time to explain what the differences were and what it was used for.

The one thing that he was determined to do was go and see the Vulcan cockpit simulation... Ok – not a problem there, as I was interested as well, but I didn’t realise that I was claustrophobic.

Which is crazy, simply because I didn’t have a problem when I went ‘round St Michael’s cave in Gibraltar. I couldn’t stay in there, and I gave my friend quite a fright when he turned ‘round, and I’d gone!

What I did was scoot out as fast as I could, and headed for the Concorde engine, as it was something that I was interested in (as I’ve got several bits of one at home, thanks to Dad, who used to work for British Airways!)

I didn’t hear him walking up behind me, and he returned the fright that I’d given him earlier in the day, and was quite concerned about me. I explained that I had felt very uncomfortable, and needed to get out of there as fast as I could. He was really sweet, and said that if he’d known that I was claustrophobic, he wouldn’t have let me go in there!

We then decided that it was time for a coffee, and as the coffee shop was in the main building, it meant that I got cold again! I wasn’t terribly impressed, and headed straight for the coffee shop, whilst he went ‘round the shop.

Once that was sorted, we then headed for our over night stopping point – which was the Mellor Park Premier Inn at Wolverhampton – as my friend wanted to go to Chapel Ash Harley Davidson the following day.

Before we went to dinner, he got this bag out, and told me to hold out my hands, and close my eyes… I will admit to being somewhat suspicious, as he can be quite a wind up merchant, but I decided to trust him. I felt something soft and furry against my hands, and when I opened my eyes, he’d given me this really sweet little toy tiger!

He said that it was the only one in the basket, and had made the most of the fact that I’d gone for a coffee, as it meant that he could dig through properly, and see if he could find a little tiger for me! Needless to say, the tiger was duly named Cosford, after the place that he was bought, and I hooked him straight onto my car keys, so that he was safe.

I then gave him the little teddy that I’d got him (it came with a miniature bottle of Bells whisky) and he immediately called it Grumpy, as it had a seriously grumpy expression on it face!

We then decided to go to the adjoining pub for dinner, which was really good, and I have to admit, I was absolutely shattered – but equally over the moon, as Scotland had won the Calcutta Cup! (It’s a trophy that is contested between the English and Scottish rugby union teams)

The following day, we headed for Chapel Ash, and had a quiet wander around… I bought myself this magnificent t-shirt, in shades of blue, with the union jack on the back – much to the disgust and annoyance of my friend, as it was the one that he wanted!

The drive back was ok – apart from the fact that I really aggravated my shoulder injury, by being too damned stubborn to stop and have a break – which caused my friend quite a bit of worry, as we parted company at Warwick services, and he admitted that he was worried about me, as he wouldn’t be there to act as my back up if anything went wrong!

But, I survived, and had a really good weekend, and the memories will keep me smiling when I’m feeling down…

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Time to call this quits – I’m supposed to be working, not blogging!

Back when I get chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

It's been a long time, but my time is finally near.

It's so close to me going away for the weekend that I can scarcely believe it. Simply because the time seems to have been dragging, and I know tonight that I am going to have an awful job getting some sleep.Ok, I'm an insomniac anyway, but I get the feeling that tonight will be worse that normal...

It's been a long road, getting from there to here.
It's been a long time, but my time is finally near.
And I can feel the change in the wind right now, nothing's in my way.
And they're not gonna hold me down no more,
No they're not gonna hold me down.

But, the best bit is knowing that I'm going to be spending a weekend with a really good friend, and know that I can let the barriers down,and be myself without having to put on the usual front that I have when I'm in the office....

I've known the wind so cold, I've seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change.
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain.
But I'll be fine ...

Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe, I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul, and no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star; I've got faith, faith of the heart.

Guess I should call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be working, not blogging!

Back later if I get chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

In the office, and in pain...

My shoulder's killing me, and I'm beginning to wish that I hadn't decided to drive today. Thankfully, Mum's insured on the car, so if my shoulder is as painful when I finish at 17:00, I'll drive down to see Mum, and then ask her to drive home.

What doesn't help me, is when I get smart ass comments about me going horse riding. I wouldn't object in the slightest if I had been riding,but the closest I've been to a horse was going to see Flame this morning, and giving her a treat - a couple of apples that I'd picked up at Sainsbury's on Sunday.

But, the thing that's worrying me is Saturday. I'm supposed to be going to Cosford with my daft hog riding friend. Ok - I know that doesn't sound too bad, but it's about an 80 mile drive - most of it motorway.

But, I guess the way to deal with it is dose myself up with painkillers before I go and meet my friend, and try my best to hide the fact that my shoulder is killing me.

Failing that, I'm just going to have to grin and bear it, and admit that my shoulder is giving me a great deal of trouble, and take the consequences head on.

Guess I should call this entry quits - I need to get some bits and pieces sorted out.

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Starting to walk on air...

There's something about talking to a good friend that really lifts me.

I called my daft hog riding friend at lunchtime, and he was making me laugh, complaining about his phone and hands-free kit packing up. Once he'd had his grump about that, we got talking about various things - including his trip to see We Will Rock You in London last night.

He said that it was really good, as he really likes his Queen music, and said that there were some parts that had him in tears, as he admitted that he's rather vulnerable at the moment, and was grateful that the theatre was dark!

We got talking about our trip to Cosford, and we've agreed to meet between 08:00 and 08:30, and the second one there not only buys the coffee and also gets a huge hug. That made me blush, and I have to admit that I was really glad that I was in the car, and not anywhere that I could be seen!

Once we get to Cosford, we've both agreed to turn our 'phones off, and he has said that he'll have no need for his phone, as he would be holding my hand the whole time, and that when he hugged me, he said that it would take an awful lot to make him let go of me! That made my smile get even bigger, and I have to admit, I'm counting the hours until I see him, as he means an awful lot to me.

We had to end the call as he was arriving at his next customer's premises, and he said that he would see me very soon, and would speak to me later this evening, when he finishes work.

Time to call this quits - I've got four tyres to locate for an order...

Back later, if I get chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Something smells fishy. Very fishy indeed. Positively tuna casserole.

And I think I know where the smell is coming from. I'm getting landed with dealing with the account that I have to run weekly reports for. Ok - not normally a problem, but I get the impression that it could be another poison chalice for me, and I have enough on my plate dealing with the OTR stuff.

But, at least I've been asked if I want to have more to do with this account... I suppose I could have refused, but the way things are looking at the moment, refusal would not have been very healthy for my career. Don't get me wrong, I'm not worried about my job - it's just that recently, I've had a few wobbles, and I don't really want to blot my copy book any further.

To add insult to injury, I've also got to speak to my line manager tomorrow about one report for this damned account, as they want to know what stock will be available for them every week.

Err, excuse me, I'll just use my crystal ball to see what all the other customers are going to order. There is no way that it can be done with the present system, as I know damned well that the data will be obsolete even before it's left my in-box.

Guess I should call this entry quits - it's nearly time for me to escape on my lunch.

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Back in the saddle? I wish.

Well, I've got my body armour, but I'm not fit enough to go riding yet. The armour fits nicely, but it still hurts to breathe when I've got it on, and that tells me that I'm still recovering from the injuries that I sustained when Flame kicked me.

Ok - I know that it could be an awful lot worse - and I could be in hospital recovering , but I was hoping to be able to start riding as soon as I got my armour. So, it means that on a nice sunny afternoon, there's no buggering off down to the farm to get Canute (or Flame) saddled up, and disappearing off into the the hills.

So, I guess that it means a few more weeks of being careful, and not doing anything bloody stupid, until I can breath without pain when wearing the armour.

Time to call this quits - I'm supposed to be looking on the web for a new digital camera...

Back when I get chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug

And today was my day to be the bug. I seemed to get splattered on practically every windshield that I encountered, and all it did was spread my confidence like a bug's innards.

Sometimes you're the windshield
Sometimes you're the bug
Sometimes it all comes together baby
Sometimes you're a fool in love
Sometimes you're the Louisville slugger
Sometimes you're the ball
Sometimes it all comes together baby
Sometimes you're going to lose it all

But, I'm lucky enough to have friends who do their damnedest to scrape my confidence up off the windshield of life, and send me e-mails like this:

What can I say 'bout my friend Karen?
She is kind, warm hearted, with a devilish sense of humour
She is small but all the best things come in small packages
She is fiery yet gentle she is lovely and caring yet doesn't show everyone
She is private yet outgoing she shows love and affection
She loves cuddles and will get some and kisses as well
I love her company she is great fun I know the real Karen and there is only one
I wouldn't want her any other way so don't you change not for anyone
Don't you cry there is no need for you are not alone
You are strong and you are the best never let them tell you that you are not
You're a winner and that's what sets you apart from the rest
Winners make it happen losers let it happen and you ain't a loser and you know it
Take your strength from those who really know you not those who think they know you
Lean on those that you can count on not those who count on you
Use the shoulders given to you, they may be uncomfortable but use them to rest your head or cry on
Use the cuddles you receive as they are silent but mean so much
Thank you for being my friend your friendship means so much to me and I cherish it always as I cherish you

When I read that, it was all I could do to say at my desk, and not run outside and find somewhere I could cry my eyes out.

Time to call this quits - I'm about to get savaged by the cats - they're hungry and I've not fed them yet!

Back later - if I'm in one piece!

Karen

Learning to fly but I don't have wings

Shattered dreams, and a shattered heart?

On the work front, it's been a good day for me. On the personal front - it's been a disaster - and not for me, but for someone whom I care about a great deal.

I realised that something was wrong, when my friend sent me an e-mail, telling me that he wouldn't be answering his 'phone to anyone, and that he wouldn't be sending any e-mails either..

Normally, if I get an e-mail like that, my immediate thought is "what the hell have I done to upset him this time", but he seemed to realise that would be my first thought when I read the message.

He was at pains to point out that it was nothing that I'd done, but he just needed time to get his emotions together, and would be in contact with me soon.

Ok - not a lot I could say about that, but I don't mind admitting that my mind was on anything but my work, and was only too keen to make a run for it at 17:00...

As Mum was working the late shift, it meant that I had the house to myself, and was able to sort out bits and pieces, whilst having a part of my mind on whether my friend was ok...

I got my answer soon enough. My mobile chimed, and I had a text message from my friend, asking me if I could call him...

I did, and it was like someone had blown a hole in the Hoover dam. He was distraught, and in tears, and I will admit to feeling helpless, as there is only so much that you can do when you're at the end of the 'phone, and there's a fair distance between you.

And now you've given me, given me,

Nothing but shattered dreams, shattered dreams,

Feel like I could run away, run away,

From this empty heart

At the end of the day, all anyone can do is act as a shoulder for someone to cry on, and when they're in that sort of emotional state, try to keep their head above the emotional tsunami the best that you can.

Time to call this quits - I've got things to do, and the reception on my mobile stinks, so I need to be somewhere where I can get a call on my 'phone.

Back when I get chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Bored, and time is dragging...

It’s one of those days when time seems to be dragging its heels, and I’m reduced to scratting around trying to find something to keep me out of mischief… But, thankfully there have been several good jokes coming my way…

Three guys - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American engineer are working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total," says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also be a farmer. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." Pooooof! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state."

Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.

The American engineer says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in our out - it's virtually impenetrable."

The American engineer says, "Fill it with water."

This was one of the others that made me snigger…


Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton.

One smart ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary... Basically the same thing.

This one, though was the one that made me grin….

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon.

Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied.

He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

Hmm – suppose I should look like I’m working, but I’m suffering from a severe case of TNFI…

Back later, if I get chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Starting the weekend...

Well, the plan to go to Ashwood nurseries went to the wall, simply because they were holding one of their "behind the scenes" weekends, and it had featured on Midlands Today - one of the local news programs.

Mum didn't feel too good, and was worried that my ribs and shoulder would get bumped and bashed, thus putting me in an evil mood, and that was something that she had no intention of doing.. Why, I have no idea, as I'm such a little sweetheart when I've been bumped and barged. Believe that, and you'll believe in the Tooth Fairy as well!

So, Mum and I headed to Merry Hill. Which should be re-named Merry Hell, as that was what Mum was playing about the parking. Because she's not too good when it comes to walking long distances,has what Dad used to refer to as a "park anywhere ticket" - i.e. a blue disabled person's badge, that allows her (in theory) to get parked in larger spaces, closer to the entrance of the shops.

Fine in theory, but Merry Hill doesn't seem to have enough parking spaces full stop, let alone enough disabled slots, thus meaning that we had to park at the bottom end of the car park, and take a very slow walk to the entrance of the shopping centre.

Once we'd gotten over that hurdle, it was a case of seeing if either of us could find anything for my cousin's October wedding. I was tempted by this beautiful ice blue dress, but even in the petite (ok - short) section, this damned dress was nearly floor length - which went down like a lead balloon with me.

My mood wasn't helped when the smarmy sales assistant said that it would "look better with high heels." That was not the best thing to say to me, as I loathe heels, and Mum was sniggering at the thought of me wearing a dress. So, I've decided that I'm going to look for a dark coloured trouser suit, and have a brightly coloured top underneath the jacket.

We got several bits and pieces - but nothing for the wedding apart from a few ideas, and headed for home, where I was able to check my 'phone. I'd got a couple of missed calls from my friend (who was working - I gave that up as a bad job when I joined my present company!) He was his normal mickey taking self, asking me if I'd left my 'phone on a high shelf again, and would I call him when I got chance.

Not a problem - I just made myself scarce (the excuse being that I was going to watch the rugby on BBC1)... I called him and he asked if I was ok, and I could tell that he was worried I'd been horse riding - without my body armour.

Ok - I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb, and I told him that I'd been shopping with Mum at Merry Hill, and that I was going to go back to the saddler's next weekend to see if the body armour fitted, and if it did, I could contemplate starting riding again.

He didn't sound too keen on that idea, but I think he's realised that there's not a lot that he can do if I do decide to go riding - apart from lecture me, which I'll just ignore as per my usual trick!

Time to call this quits - my damned mobile's ringing...

Back when I get chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Playing the fragile female...

And I can do it so well when I need to! Needless to day, I have managed to make the two people who made me so angry / upset yesterday feel really guilty, as I went into work with a migraine.

The OTR manager called me first thing this morning, all sweetness and light, almost as if he'd forgotten that he'd had a real blast at me yesterday afternoon...

I, however, decided that it was time to start playing nasty, and when he asked how I was, as I sounded subdued, compared with my normal self, dropped the first of the bombs...

"That's because I'm waiting for the migraleve to kick in, and try and ease my migraine."

"Oh, I'm sorry - I didn't realise that you weren't feeling too well."

The sucker punch came when I told him that I'd woken up with it. Which wasn't a lie - I had, and I was feeling bloody awful.

Needless to say, that sucked the wind right out of his sails, and he said that he would keep the calls to a minimum for me, as he wanted me to get better quickly. I got the feeling that he was worried I would go home sick - something that I have to admit, I was awful tempted to do!

But, there were a couple of bright spots for me - one was the fact that my daft bunny kept e-mailing me, and making me smile (not something that I'm supposed to do when I'm supposedly suffering from a migraine!)

The other was finding out that I had unexpected allies in the OTR department - all of whom had ganged up on the two people who'd put me in such an evil mood yesterday, and one even went to the trouble of pointing out that I was doing a job that none of them wanted to do!

Guess I should call this entry quits - I'm going to Ashwood nurseries tomorrow with Mum, and I have to be up early to go and make a fuss of Flame as well... Bang goes my weekend lie in!

Back tomorrow, if I can face sitting at a computer!

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

In fury and pain

I swear, one of these days I am going to swing for certain members of the OTR department. Before I escaped for physio, I had a call from the OTR manager, asking me about two tyres, that I'd let one of the guys have... It turned out that one of the other guys wanted these same tyres and it was like a group of children squabbling!

It turned out that there were two codes for these damned tyres, and that both my understudy and myself had been using the "wrong" code for the orders, and neither of us were the wiser, as no-one had thought to let either of us know!

Even though I offered to call this fella and explain, the manager refused, and said that he would deal with it, as he said that it would sound better comming from him, and finished the call.

Needless to say, that put me in an evil mood, and I warned my understudy of what had happened, as the poor sod gets my direct line forwarded to his extention number when I'm either on lunch, or away from the office.

I then went to physio - which was good, if not painful and I will admit, to being in a stinking mood as I type this entry up.

I'm awful tempted to make life extremely difficult for the two people concerned, but that would mean letting them know that they have been able to wind me up - and I'm better than that.

But that doesn't mean that I'm not going to get my own back - and I think that it may be time to play the "fragile female" bit....

Time to call this quits - I need to try and get some sleep tonight....

Back when I get chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Back onto the emotional rollercoaster...

Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions today... I'd already got the pre-cursor to a migraine, and them my daft hog riding friend sent me an e-mail at work, saying that he'd sent me an e-mail to my home e-mail address, as he didn't think it was suitable to be sent to me at work....

I struggled through until lunchtime, then called him as I was driving over to the Crem, and that was when the tears really started to flow.

He was a real angel of mercy - talking to me about all sorts of things and even managed to make me smile through my tears by asking me how big I liked my teddy bears... I wasn't sure what that was leading up to, so will admit to being a little guarded, until he said that he was going to hug me like a teddy when he saw me!

That nearly finished me off, and I went back into the office looking like a vampire after a seriously bad night on the blood, and did my best to avoid answering questions about what had caused me to get so upset.

The simple matter was the fact that I had spoken to my Aunt last night, and she is so much like Dad in her manners (i.e. doesn't suffer fools gladly, and is of the opinion that it's the family first - everyone else can go **** themselves) that it re-opened the wounds that were caused when Dad died.

Then, I read the e-mail that my friend had sent me. Suffice to say, that it did start me crying again, as I didn't realise just how he viewed our friendship, and it made me realise just how much I value his friendship.

Hello my friend,

Thank you for talking to me,
Thank you for being there when I need someone,
Thank you for reasoning with me,
Thank you for listening and trying not to judge me.

I am a mad mixed up bunny trying to do the best I can for everyone - it's just that some people out there in my life just don't appreciate it and it just ain't good enough for them.

I don't expect you to understand me at all 'cause I know I don't understand myself all of the time.

I just want to be happy its not too much to ask is it?

Take care from your daft cuddle bunny

For him to take the time to send that to me, just tipped me over the edge yet again, and it took several readings for his words to sink in.

I will admit, there have been times in my life - especially just recently - where I don't think that I could have coped with out him giving me a swift kick up the tail, and I will admit, I didn't think that my reply was really eloquent enough to express what I was feeling....

You've been one of the best things that could have happened to me, and there have been times when I don't think that I could have coped without having you to talk to, make me laugh, and occasionally give me a swift verbal kick up the tail to get me thinking straight.

Your friendship means more to me that I could ever tell you in an e-mail, but I know that when I see you, I'll be able to show you what you mean to me...
 Time to call this entry quits - it's nearly impossible to type when you can hardly see the keyboard for tears.

Back when I can see, and think straight.

Karen
Leaning to fly, but I don't have wings

Knackered, but happy....

I'm making an escape this month with my daft hog riding friend. We're going up to RAF Cosford, and as it's a fair distance for the pair of us to travel, plus wandering around the museum, we've decided to make a weekend of it.

Ok - not a problem there. The problem arose when I was dumb enough to mention this trip to Julian, who immediately decided that there was "no way you're going to wear a scruffy polo neck and jeans - you're going to look like a lady for once."

Thanks a bunch. The "scruffy polo neck" happens to be an old favorite of mine. Ok - I admit that it has seen better days, but it's one of those things that you tend to be loathe to throw away, as it's so comfortable. But, once Julian gets into that frame of mind, it takes a braver person than me to challenge him - especially with sore ribs!

So, the scene was set for the pair of us to go to Milton Keyens, and as we were leaving early morning (ok - 08:00) he stayed over at my home.

There were moments when I could have cheerfully strangled him, as he kept dodging from shop to shop, picking out things that were either frilly, or pastel coloured, or if I was seriously unlucky - both! But, I soon realised that he was only doing that to wind me, up, and he did quite a good job of it!

He was a real angel, advising me on colours and fit of things that he and I picked out, and on more than one occasion, I heard other shoppers say to their partners "why can't you take more of an interest like he does?" That made Julian and I both laugh, and yes, it did hurt, I will admit!

The end result was well worth the sort feet that I ended up with, and as my friend reads this blog, I'll say no more about what I got - aside from the fact that it's a little bit different to my normal attire!

Time to call this quits - Julian's cooked dinner for Mum and myself - and it smells divine!

Back when I get chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

And it's not just me getting hurt...

Not the sort of 'phone call that you really want to recieve. I got a call from the farmer who keeps an eye on Flame for me, to say that she had blood pouring from a wound on her off-side rear hock...

I will admit to breaking numerous speed limits in an attempt to get to her as fast as I could, and was praying that it wasn't anything nasty, and that Tony had called the vet...

I got to the farm, just as Gianni (my trusted vet) pulled up. The pair of us walked into the yard, where Tony had managed to get Flame into one of the loose-boxes. If I didn't know better, I would swear that she knew he was trying to help her, as normally she's a real sod to get into a box.

Thankfully, no major damage, but the cut still needed a fair few stiches to close it up, and I've been told that she won't be fit enough to do any serious cross-country work for at least a month.

Ok - I can live with that for the moment, as I'm still trying to recover from my injuries. But I know that as soon as I (a) get my body armour, and (b) am fit enough to ride, then this restriction will bug the hell out of me. Tony must have realised that was the case, as he's said that I can ride his big hunter - Canute, until Flame is fit again.

That's really sweet of him, but it will be like going from a Ferrari to a Reliant Robin in terms of performance, as Flame is bred for speed and agility, whereas Canute (bless his huge heart) is more of a plodder.

But, they say that beggars can't be choosers, so I guess that if I do want to go riding before Flame is fit, then I'll be scrambling up onto Canute's broad back.

Time to call this quits - I need to get some rest, as my ribs are killing me.

Back when I get chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings