Back onto the emotional rollercoaster...

Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions today... I'd already got the pre-cursor to a migraine, and them my daft hog riding friend sent me an e-mail at work, saying that he'd sent me an e-mail to my home e-mail address, as he didn't think it was suitable to be sent to me at work....

I struggled through until lunchtime, then called him as I was driving over to the Crem, and that was when the tears really started to flow.

He was a real angel of mercy - talking to me about all sorts of things and even managed to make me smile through my tears by asking me how big I liked my teddy bears... I wasn't sure what that was leading up to, so will admit to being a little guarded, until he said that he was going to hug me like a teddy when he saw me!

That nearly finished me off, and I went back into the office looking like a vampire after a seriously bad night on the blood, and did my best to avoid answering questions about what had caused me to get so upset.

The simple matter was the fact that I had spoken to my Aunt last night, and she is so much like Dad in her manners (i.e. doesn't suffer fools gladly, and is of the opinion that it's the family first - everyone else can go **** themselves) that it re-opened the wounds that were caused when Dad died.

Then, I read the e-mail that my friend had sent me. Suffice to say, that it did start me crying again, as I didn't realise just how he viewed our friendship, and it made me realise just how much I value his friendship.

Hello my friend,

Thank you for talking to me,
Thank you for being there when I need someone,
Thank you for reasoning with me,
Thank you for listening and trying not to judge me.

I am a mad mixed up bunny trying to do the best I can for everyone - it's just that some people out there in my life just don't appreciate it and it just ain't good enough for them.

I don't expect you to understand me at all 'cause I know I don't understand myself all of the time.

I just want to be happy its not too much to ask is it?

Take care from your daft cuddle bunny

For him to take the time to send that to me, just tipped me over the edge yet again, and it took several readings for his words to sink in.

I will admit, there have been times in my life - especially just recently - where I don't think that I could have coped with out him giving me a swift kick up the tail, and I will admit, I didn't think that my reply was really eloquent enough to express what I was feeling....

You've been one of the best things that could have happened to me, and there have been times when I don't think that I could have coped without having you to talk to, make me laugh, and occasionally give me a swift verbal kick up the tail to get me thinking straight.

Your friendship means more to me that I could ever tell you in an e-mail, but I know that when I see you, I'll be able to show you what you mean to me...
 Time to call this entry quits - it's nearly impossible to type when you can hardly see the keyboard for tears.

Back when I can see, and think straight.

Karen
Leaning to fly, but I don't have wings