Eyes that burn...

One of the worst things about not being able to sleep at night, is the mere fact that my eyes get to the stage where they start to burn, meaning that I can't wear my contact lenses. Ok - I know that doesn't sound a big deal, but for someone like me, who rarely wears her glasses at work, it is.

You've got both ends burning
Like a moth to a flame
You're going off the rails
Like a runaway train
It's a no-win situation
And there's no way out
And no one will ever hear you - scream and shout
 I admit that I do suffer from insomnia, but I'm rapidly getting to the stage where the physical (not to mention the mental) exhaustion is reaching crisis point, and I'm going to end up going off the rails at someone who really doesn't deserve it.

I guess at the moment, the reason for me being an insomniac is that I can't get my mind to switch off - I'm still analysing what's been said - both from a work perspective, and a personal viewpoint..

Such a lonely road you ride
It's not easy when you don't know why
Such a heavy load you hide
You never leave no matter how you try
 So, the more tired I get, the worse things seem to get to me, to the stage where I'm almost frightened to open my mouth, in case I say something that really offends someone!

I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight...

I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
 Add into this mess, the mere fact that I'm being interrogated about my not wanting to go to the conference this year, and it all adds up to stress, which I think is causing me to suffer from insomnia....

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight...
 Guess I should call this entry quits - I'm knackered, and Julian wants to use his computer...

Back tomorrow if I get the chance.


Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Quiet times, and quiet contemplations

For once, it's not stupidly manic on a Monday. Not that I really care,as I was late in, as I had a doctor's appointment to sort out my blood pressure...

It was getting to the stage where I couldn't stand up without going dizzy, and I was finding it somewhat disconcerting when I was standing up and trying to move away from my desk.

Not to mention the fact that I was getting irritated having to explain why I suddenly went pale, and had to grab the edge of my desk to stop myself going flat on my face!

So, I've had to change my blood pressure tablets (most people take tablets to lower their blood pressure - I have to take them to raise my blood pressure!) So that means a trip to the pharmacy in Sainsbury's this evening to get this sorted out, as I'm supposed to start taking the new tablets tomorrow.

But, when I got in, I had what I considered to be a real gem of an e-mail joke....

As many will be aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General Arrogance" and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to"Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose"

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack random countries (ideally those without any credible military)" and "Beg the British for help".

The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666.

Guess I should think about doing some work before lunch, but I'm suffering a case of TNFI....

Back later, if I get the chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Walking towards the edge...

Ever had one of those days when you burst into tears for no reason? Well, I've just had one.

The day started out well enough, and Rachel and I decided that we wanted to go horse riding in the Malvern Hills. Carole thought we were nuts, but agreed to take the pair of us (and our horses) so that we could go where we wanted...

So, we got to Malvern, no problem, and agreed to meet up with Carole when we got to the end of the route that we'd planned to use.

We started riding, and my phone bleeped - I'd got a text message from my daft friend. He'd gone to Swindon to see friends, and promised that he would send me a text to let me know he was there ok. I read the message, and that was it - the tears started rolling down my cheeks.

Don't ask me why, but luckily for me, it was sleeting, so I was able to say that my tears were caused by the sleet hitting me in the face.

Whether or not Rachel believed me, I don't know, but she was polite enough (if that's the correct term) to keep her peace and not ask questions. But, I did notice that she seemed to keep a closer eye on me after that - almost as if she was worried that I was on the verge of some kind of breakdown.

Ok - I appreciate the fact that she was worried about me, but I gave her even more reason to panic towards the end of the ride... I went to dismount from Flame, and that was it - the world started to spin, and the only thing that saved me was the fact that Rachel was quick enough to grab hold of both me and Flame!

As soon as I was able to stand on my own two feet (albeit leaning on Flame), she insisted that I called my GP and got an appointment to get my blood pressure sorted out, as she said that I was a danger to myself! For once, I didn't argue with her - I obviously wasn't feeling 100% - I'm usually a stroppy little sod when I don't feel too good!

So, I've got the appointment on Monday - at 08:40, so that means I get a bit of a lie-in - one of the benefits I guess....

Suppose I'd better call this entry quits - I want to buzz off and watch CSI on channel 5...

Back when I get the chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Darwin awards 2006....

I know many of you sit and wait for these all year long. You know who you are. So here they are:

In case you haven't received them yet, here are this year's Darwin Awards - the annual honour given to the person who improved the "gene pool" the most by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.

As always, competition this year has been keen. And the candidates this year are.............

* In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

* A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran,"- accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.

* Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it.

Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.

People on the beach on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him.

It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

* Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing.

Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

HONORABLE MENTION:

* Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car.

While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP:

* TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic.

The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope.

Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle.

He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER:

* Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!

Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him.

"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern.

With no-one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated!

It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves that "S**t happens!"

Mine is but to post such gems.....

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

How to get leave!

You occasionally get some real gems coming through on the e-mail, and this was one of them!

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "crazy" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the boss would think I was "crazy" and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked:

"What are you doing?"

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days".

I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the boss asked her "...And where do you think you're going?"

(You're gonna love this.....)

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Bored and in pain....

Typical. I've completed all my work, and I'm now scratching around,trying to find something to do. But, there has been one bright spot today - I was able to talk to my daft friend.

He had escaped from the office (his phrase - not mine) and we were laughing and joking about all sorts of things - including him being rude about my lack of height.

He's off to darkest Ireland in June, for the European Hog Rally, and I was teasing him about it, and then he turned the tables on me by asking if I got mistaken for a leprechaun (because of my height (or lack of it!))

I was less than impressed, and said that when we met up, I was going to get my revenge, only for him to say that it was the year of being nice to him! I grinned, and said that I wasn't planning on doing anything nasty to him - he would be begging for pleasure!

That made the pair of us laugh, and the conversation went downhill from there!

Hmm - I should really call this entry quits, as I'm supposed to be working, not blogging!

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Another day, another dollar (or should that be another day, another £?)

Ever had the feeling that you really don't want to be somewhere? Well I've got that feeling today, as my shoulder is agony and I got very little sleep last night.

Add into that, I'm worried about my daft friend (who is far from happy in his job - but I'm not going to say any more than that), and you have the perfect remedy for insomnia. So, at 02:30, I was watching BBC News 24, and following the news about the Israeli prime minister Ariel Sharon, who was undergoing brain surgery to stop a haemorrhage. (See http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/1/hi/world/middle_east/4583160.stm )

So, as I sit at my desk, I'm in pain, bored and frustrated, as there is not a damned thing that I can do until I see the sawbones, which won't be until 26/01/05, and even then, I might not get sorted out.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking the NHS at all - what really irritates me is the way that the waiting lists are manipulated in favour of new patients, meaning that people like me have to wait nearly three months to get the follow up appointment, so that I can see the sawbones, and find out what the verdict is on my shoulder.

Guess I should get on with some work, but I really don't have the inclination to do anything today - apart from sleep!

Back later.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Back to the grindstone, back to the fighting

Well, it was back to the office today, and for me, it felt like I was walking back into a war zone, as I walked smack into my ex, and straight into the mother and father of rows with him.

To be honest, it wasn't the sort of thing that I wanted to deal with, but he gave me no choice, and by the time we'd finished our "discussion" he knew exactly how I felt, and more to the point, knew that he wasn't able to try and pull rank on me any longer.

Ok - I admit that I should have retained my cool, but when someone tries to tell me what I can and can't do in my personal time, then I have this habit of fighting back, and making damned sure that the person responsible is well aware of my feelings...

Aside from that, it was a quietish day, and I will admit to being glad to get the hell away from the office at the end of the day, as it meant that no-one (apart from the cats) could make my life hell.

Guess I should call this entry quits, as Ponto is glaring at me, and I get this horrible impression that he's going to launch an attack at my ankles if I don't call it quits on the computer...

Back tomorrow, if I get the chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

I hate shopping......

Ok - I know - it's a strange title, but it sums up my day. Mum and I went to Milton Keynes today... Ok - not a problem.

The problem arose when Mum said that I needed to get some new work trousers (she's been watching What Not To Wear again!) and I HATE trying on clothes - especially when I'm wearing walking boots.

Ok - maybe it was partly my fault for wearing walking boots, but I had no intention of ending up with sore feet, because my ankle boots are easier (and faster) to take on and off (they've got a zip up the side of them.)

I got to the stage where I was less than enthusiastic, and Mum got quite irritable with me. She pointed out (rightly, I have to admit) that she was trying to help me, and that I could show a little more gratitude.

I agreed with that, but inwardly thought that I was no different to her when she was looking for something, but as I had no wish to argue with Mum at that moment in time, I kept quiet.

Despite that, it was a reasonably successful day, as Mum managed to get a new phone. She got fed up with not being able to turn her Nokia 3340 on and off (it's got the power button on the top of the phone - there's a nack to getting the damned thing to work!) So, we went into Carphone Warehouse, and she got herself a Motorola V550...

Not a phone I would have chosen, I have to admit, but I'm of the opinion that as long as she's happy with it, then that's all that matters...

As for me, well I've seen the phone that I want to get to replace my current phone... It's a Sony Ericsson Z520i. Ok - I admit that I've always said that the clam type phone isn't for me, but I've had a good look at this one, and appears to be quite robust...

Rats - I can hear the appetite on legs starting a punch up again - new year, same old trick from the cat.

Back when I get chance - provided that I'm in one piece after grabbing the cat!

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Welcome to 2006....

Well, 2006 has started well for me. What am I talking about? Only the fact that I feel happier than I have for a long time – simply because I was with people that I care about (with the exception of one person – and you know who you are!)

I went out in Birmingham with the usual crowd, and as usual, we went out to dinner, and then hit the town... There was the usual mixture of drunken idiots, but on the whole, it was one hell of a night out – including the fact that Julian and I decided that the group should go and sing YMCA by the Village People – complete with the actions!

Ok – we looked a complete bunch of idiots, but I was of the opinion that if I couldn’t make a twit of myself with friends, when could I? But, that was only the start of our singing… We ended up singing all sorts of things, from Bon Jovi – It’s my Life, to Simply Red – Holding Back the Years.

But there was one thing that did make me have tears in my eyes – it was Metallica – Nothing Else Matters - simply because that was the song that my ex used to dedicate to me when I was going away.

Thankfully Julian was a real love, and made sure that the others didn’t see how much the song had affected me, and then decided to drag me up to sing with him… That was ok, until I realised what the song was – it was Livin’ La Vida Loca!

The rest of the evening / night passed in a blur of singing, laughing and dancing – and finished with us all ending up in our favourite Balti restaurant at 04:00 this morning!

Needless to say, as I type this, I’m knackered, and running on pure adrenaline – which isn’t too good for me, as I’ve got to drive home later today, as Mum and I are going to have another go at getting to Milton Keynes tomorrow for a trip to the shops, as the pair of us want to have a look and see what’s in the sales this year..

Guess I should call this entry quits – Julian wants to check his e-mail, and I need to get some sleep!

Back later, if I’m with it enough!

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Jokes from across the pond...

Well, they say that laughter is the best medicine.. And I'm inclined to agree, as I've done nothing but laugh this afternoon... And all because of jokes that have been sent to me by American friends...

These jokes will make people wince, but all will have the same effect of making you smile.. If you have a warped sense of humour that it!

This is the first one that I got sent...

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag..."

"Damn!" says the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!"

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? Did you steal it?"

"Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!"

"So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I say: $20 or off it comes!"

"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well," says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up!"

The second one was this one:

For those of you in the shoplight gang, and other mechanics, wives of mechanics, and otherwise foolhardy individuals with the moxy to tackle the untamable beast in your garage!

TOOL DEFINITIONS:

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouch...."

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub that you want the bearing out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2 X 4: Used for levering an automobile upward off a hydraulic jack handle.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbors to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.

SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog crap or horse crap off your boots.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps off in bolt holes you couldn't use anyway.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the tensile strength on everything you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

SHOP LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, it's main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading. (also used to sear permanent scar onto back of hand as initiation ritual, signifying membership into garage floor mechanic gang aka: the 'Shoplight Boyz')

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last over tightened 58 years ago by someone at ERCO, and neatly rounds off their heads.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50¢ part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.

DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "DAMMIT" at the top of your lungs. It is also the next tool that you will need.

EXPLETIVE: A balm, usually applied verbally in hindsight, which somehow eases those pains and indignities following our every deficiency in foresight.

Guess I'd better do some work, but I've got to admit, I'm clock watching, as I'm hoping to finish early today (as in finish at about 16:30....)

Back when I get the chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

On the verge of tears...

Well, today's one of those days that I could have really done without coming into work. My emotions are all over the place, and I just about know which way is up.

It wouldn't be so bad, but it's one of those situations that means I'm trying to hide how I'm feeling from my colleagues, and I'm having a tough time avoiding questions as to why I'm so quiet - normally, I'm laughing, joking and taking the piss as much as I possibly can... I guess the way I feel can be summed up by the Bryan Adams song - On a day like today:

Is there anybody out there?
Anyone that's loved in vain
Anyone that feels the same

Is there anybody waiting?
Waiting for a chance to win
To give it up and start again

We all need something new
Something that is true
And someone else to feel it too

I feel so high - no one else would know it
I don't know why I feel the way I do
I can't let go - and I'm not scared to show it
'Cuz being here feels right
Tell me - how do you feel tonight?

Is there anybody out there?
Anyone that can't explain
Anyone that feels no pain

Is there anybody dreaming
Dreaming of a better day
When everything goes your way

We all need something new
Something that is true
And someone else to feel it too
Someone just like you

 But, at the moment, all I can do is wait to talk to the person who means the most to me, and knows just how to make me laugh, and brighten my mood...

Guess I should call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be working, but to be honest, I'm really not in the right frame of mind to do anything - apart from look for a dark corner to curl up in, and try to regain some kind of emotional control....

Back later - if I'm in the right frame of mind.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

At work, and I'm bored...

Well, this looks like it's going to be one of those days where I'm bored out of my brain cell. My favourite e-mail contact isn't in the office today, so there's no chance of me getting anything daft sent through to me...

But I did get a couple of gems sent to me, whilst I was away from the office....

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mum was coming to visit.

This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.

He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door.

He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

The other gem came in from an America friend, as is quite good....

One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's play Weeweechu."

"Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon" said Rosita.

"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon."

"Please, corazoncito, just once, play Weeweechu with me."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll play Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."

Merry Christmas !!!!!

[NOW ! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!]

Hmm - guess I should think about doing some w*rk, but I'm suffering a case of TNFI....

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Post Christmas madness

Well, either I'm getting more cynical in my old age, or people are becoming less tolerant as the year moves towards its end.

Mum and I were planning on going to Milton Keynes today, but as usual, the great British weather decided to intervene to change our plans - meaning that Mum and I ended up going into Coventry.

Since the closure of a couple of the big(ish) stores, the city seems to be dying on its feet. The only department stores that the city has, as BHS, Debenhams and Marks & Spencer - but you get all of these in Banbury - where the parking is a damned sight cheaper (and easier), and you get Marks & BHS in Solihull - as well as Beatties and John Lewis.

I know this sounds like I'm knocking Coventry - far from it. All I'm saying is that the city council needs to do something to attract another big name store to the city - otherwise people are going to desert the city for places such as Banbury and Solihull...

I'm not mentioning Birmingham, as that is a totally different league - that's more akin to places like Sheffield and I hate to say it - London (without the outrageous prices!)

Despite that, (or should that be in spite of that!) I did quite well in the sales.. I managed to get some of my favorite perfume - Dior Addict - (the original one) and a couple of turtle necks and a new black wrap, as mine's looking like it's seen better days...

I also got myself a book - it's the Fast Set - and details the history of the land speed record - from the starting days at Daytona beach, right up to the current record holder - Thrust SSC - the first non-rocket powered car to supersonic.

Aside from that, today has been a quiet day, which probably has been the best thing for me, as I'm still recovering from the pounding that I took yesterday (after I'd posted my blog entry - I went horse riding with Rachel in the Burton Dasset country park - and Flame threw me off - thank God for body armor!!)

Guess I should call this entry quits, as I'm due back to work tomorrow... (boo, hiss!)

Back tomorrow - if I haven't gotten to the stage where I hate looking at my computer!

Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread

A Quiet time...

Well, Christmas is over and done with for another year. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to spend time with my friends and family, but there are certain things that have really annoyed me this year - one of them being the pettiness associated with a so-called friend of my family... And I use the term friend in the loosest sense I possibly can!

This so-called friend wrote in the Christmas card that was sent to Mum and myself "warm memories of David" - almost as if she was trying to rebuke Mum for having the nerve to stay friends with the widower of her best friend - Frances. As Mum said - "doesn't she think that I don't think about Dave?"

When I read the card, I was livid, and said that Mum could send a card back to her, but she wasn't to put my name on it, as I wanted nothing to do with the cow. Mum just smiled, and said that she wasn't going to send a card to her, as she had really scraped the bottom of the barrel with that comment.

Aside from that, my daft hog riding friend has been true to his word, and sent me the photographs of his cooking:

Ok - I admit that I agreed with the comment that the snowmen looked like Daleks in the snow, but I'm sure that they tasted ok...

The reindeer cakes... Well, I'll let people make their own judgment on them - I'm not going to drop myself in it for anyone!

I've also had quite a good joke sent in to me, from one of my late father's America colleagues...

A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

"Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."

Guess I should call this entry quits for the time being, as I want to get an update for my MP3 player - which has decided to refuse to play most of my *legally* downloaded music...

Back tomorrow - provided I'm not too badly battered from my shopping trip to Milton Keynes with Mum...

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

T'was the night before Christmas....

Well, it's nearly the big day, and I've finally got everything sorted out, and wrapped up... Mum was at work, so it meant that I was able to get her presents wrapped up, and hidden without her knowing what I've bought her.. No doubt I'll get skinned for the perfume bottle, but that's something that I can live with...

I went into Leamington this morning, expecting to be fighting the hoards, only to find that the centre was practically deserted! I got parked without a problem, and headed to my first destination - the bank - I wanted to get some cash out of the ATM, before the hoards took it all!

I then walked across Warwick Street to Boots, as I had an opticians appointment (the only reason I was dumb enough to go out today!) It turns out that I do need to change my glasses, as my sight in the left eye has deteriorated - to the extent that I'm going to be more comfortable with a change of prescription...

But it's nothing that I can't live with at the moment, so I've made the decision to hold off getting a new pair of glasses until the New Year, as Boots have got their sale on, and I really can't be bothered messing around waiting for them to get my glasses sorted out.

I also had a quiet wander around, looking for the last minute bits and pieces, and seeing if there were any good deals going on my favorite perfumes... Unfortunately there weren't, but I can always look after Christmas, when the stores will hopefully be reducing the gift sets, and I can take my pick!

I also spoke to my daft friend, and he was doing his best to make me laugh.. He said that he was going to see if he could get into the kitchen to do some cooking (blimey - wonder if he gives lessons? I can't cook to save my life!), and has said that he's going to put Ainsley Harriot to shame.... He's promised to send the piccys to me, so as soon as I get them, then they'll be aired on my blog...

Suppose I should call this entry quits - I want to get the furry fiends settled early tonight, as there are a couple of good films that I want to watch in peace!

Back when I get the chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

PS - Merry Christmas to one and all!!

K.

On the run up to Christmas....

Ok - I admit that I've been somewhat lax about updating my blog recently, as I've had more important things to worry about - namely my god-sprog getting out of hospital - which is a relief for me, as towards the end of her stay, the little rat was trying to throttle me with my chain whenever she got the chance!

Aside from that, there was the preparation required for the annual piss-up that is the departmental Christmas party – this year; it was held at Hall Green Dog racing stadium... How I refrained from making comments about certain (female) members of staff coming out of trap three, I don’t know!*Grin*

Despite that, it was a damned good night out, and I was smart enough to avoid going out clubbing with the rest of them, as I’d already experienced a hangover at work, and didn’t plan on repeating the experience!

There have also been several jokes floating around, and this was one that I thought worthy of posting:

In the Late 1800s a little girl named Virginia asked the New York Times if there was a Santa Clause. The reply is now famous. Someone thought it would be fun to ask the scientists at NASA the same question. Here is their reply:

No known species of reindeer can fly. But there ARE 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has seen.

There are two billion children (under 18) in the world. But since Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist and Jewish children,that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 138 million or so.

At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes.One presumes there is at least one good child in each. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second.

This is to say that for each household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining gifts under the tree, eat snacks, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh, and move to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million houses are distributed evenly (which we know to be false but for the sake of these calculations we will accept) we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops.

This means that Santa's sleigh is travelling at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe moves at a poky 27.4 mps. The average reindeer runs at 15 mph.

The sleigh's payload adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (2 lbs), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 TONS, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 lbs. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see first paragraph) could pull TEN TIMES the usual amount, we cannot do the job with 8 or even 9. We need 214,000 reindeer.

This increases the weight, not even counting the sleigh, to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison this is 4 times the weight of the British liner QE2.

353,430 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates an enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer in the same manner as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.

The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy..... Per second..... Each! In short, they will burst in flame almost instantaneously, exposing the next pair of reindeer, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousands of a second.

Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 1,750,006 times the force of gravity. A 300 pound Santa would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,325,015 pounds of force.

CONCLUSION: If there was a Santa, he's dead now.

I make no appologies for this - I found it funny....

Time to call it quits - I need to get some sleep tonight, as I've got to go and fight the hoards in Leamington tomorrow morning... I must be barmy!

Back tomorrow - if I'm still in one piece!

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

A small prayer being answered

Amber is on the road to recovery, and Carole decided that Rachel, Julian and I needed to get away from the area for the day, so we were under strict instructions to “bugger off for the day, and have fun.”

Ok – we didn’t need telling twice, and decided to head to Bath, as there was a Christmas market on, and we might stand a chance of getting the presents that we’d still to get – in my case, something for Mum that she didn’t know anything about!

It was a decision which proved to be highly successful for me! I managed to get Mum a pair of unusual silver earrings, and a Bath Aqua Glass perfume bottle!

It was one of those things that I just kept going back to, and in the end, Julian got fed up with me messing around, and growled “just go and buy the damned thing will you?!”

So, that was bought, and we spent the rest of the day dodging the rain showers that seemed to plague us – but I don’t think any of us objected, as we all managed to finish off our Christmas shopping.

As we drove back, my mobile rang, and my heart sank when I heard the ring tone – it was Carole.Thankfully, she was calling us to say that Amber was asking where we were, and that she wanted to see us as soon as we got back…

So, instead of heading for Julian’s, we headed for the hospital... Where were greeted by the sight of Amber sitting up in bed, demanding a cuddle from us all!

Ok – she still looked very pale, but it was such a relief to see her sitting up in bed.

Time to call this entry quits – I’m mentally and physically exhausted now – but hopefully I should be able to sleep, as I know that Amber is on the road to recovery…

Back when I get the chance…

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Hopes and dreams

Well, it looks like Amber is slowly improving, but it breaks my heart to see the kid all wired up, and needles going into her small body, in an attempt to get the antibiotics into her system, so that she has a chance of fighting off the infection.

My daft friend has been a real angel, and sent me the most beautiful picture of a sunset attached to an e-mail...

Karen hi,

I hope that you are ok.

I am sorry that I couldn’t be there for you, I feel as tho I had left you alone to deal with Amber, but we are so far apart it ain’t easy.

Here is that picture of the sunset I told you about - it does look as tho there is a star in the middle doesn’t it?

I hope you like it. God bless you and keep you safe may he watch over you for always. God looks after his own and he’ll look after you and Amber, trust me he will.


Take good care munchkin and I’ll speak soon.


xxx

That reduced me to tears, and I don’t mind admitting it, as at this moment in time, I’m emotionally wiped out, and this was the final straw for me.

But, thankfully, I’m skilled enough to cover my tracks where Carole is concerned – the only people I can’t fool are Julian & Quentin – and my ex, who has been a tower of strength to me.

Despite the fact that we’ve “split up”, he’s been a real help, and has made things as easy as he can for me, and has said that if I need someone to lean on, then all I have to do is call him. I know he means well, but at this moment in time, I'm having enough trouble with my emotions going haywire, without adding him into the mix again.

Time to call this quits - I'm going to try and get some sleep tonight.

Back tomorrow...

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Worrying times...

It never rains, but it pours. Amber has been taken in to intensive care, with a major infection, and is on massive doses of antibiotics.

All I can do is pray that the little rat pulls through, as I have to admit, I miss the little tyke pulling my earrings…

Back when I get chance – I’m going to call Carole and see how Amber is...

Karen.


I walk where others fear to tread

Opening the floodgates..

Well, today has been a real eye opener in more than one way.

I met my daft friend at Gaydon, and he seemed somewhat subdued, and I will admit to being somewhat apprehensive about spending the day with him, as he seemed... Distant somehow - almost as if his mind was on something else...

The exhibits didn't seem as good as I remember them being, but I did enjoy looking at them, and seeing cars that I remember thinking were the height of sophistication (before I learnt to drive, I might add!)

After we'd been around the museum, we headed for a near-by pub, and sat chatting, and again, I felt that there was something that was troubling my friend, but me being me, I was unwilling to press the issue, as I felt that if he wanted to tell me what was bothering him so much, then he would talk to me...

As neither of us fancied what was on the menu, I decided to head to the Blue Lias - and found that it was closed, so resorted to my second choice - the Buck and Bell - I was hoping that it was as good as I heard, and thankfully, it was!

And that was when things started to kick off. As we sat having dinner (I admit, I had very little appetite, as I really worried that something was going to kick off - one of these days I'll learn to listen to my instincts), my friend held my hand, and said that I looked like a frightened rabbit!

Ok - I've been likened to many things in my life, but never a frightened rabbit! We finished our food, and that was when he started to open the floodgates.

Rather than drag it all out in a place that neither of us felt comfortable in, we opted to leave and find somewhere we could talk...

Talk about setting the floodgates to maximum flow. My friend poured his heart out to me, and seemed terrified that I was going to explode at him, and refuse to have anything more to do with him.

That was the last thing that I was going to do to someone who was as emotionally vulnerable as that - so vulnerable in fact, that he cried his heart out on my shoulder. All I could do was hold him, and re-assure him that no matter what happened, I was always going to be there for him - come hell or high water - there was no way I was going to abandon him.

Time to call this quits - I need to get some sleep tonight if I can - as I don't mind admitting that my mind is whirling around faster that hurricane Catrina!

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Worrying about rat-bag....

Ok – I know that I’ve not updated my blog for a couple of days, but there’s been so much going on, that I’ve just not had chance to think straight.

I’ve now had the MRI on my shoulder, and I don’t admitting that I’m apprehensive. Ok, it should show what the problem with my shoulder joint is, but at this moment in time, I’ve got more pressing things on my mind.

My god-sprog has been taken back into Birmingham Children’s hospital, as one of the valves in her heart has started to leak, and has been causing real problems.

And the worst part is I feel like I’m going to crack up under strain of seeing her all wired up in the hospital. Ok – I admit my daft hog riding friend has been a god-send (I think I’d have gone even more doo-lally than I am at the moment!) but there’s only so much that he can do for me, as he's so far away....

Julian and Quentin have been angels and have been providing somewhere for us all to chill out, and in mine and Rachel’s case, providing us with somewhere safe to sleep, breakfast the following morning, and a swift kick up the tail to get us out the house to work.

But, thankfully, rat-bag seems to be on the mend, and I’ve got something special to look forward to – I’m seeing my daft friend very soon, and I’ve got to admit, I can’t wait to see him again…

Guess I should call this quits, as Julian wants his computer back - dratted pest! *Grin*

Back when I can get near a computer.

Karen
I walk where others fear to tread

Walking away - for the time being....

Well, it’s hit the fan. What am I talking about? My relationship.

We’ve decided to call it quits - ok – I’ll re-phrase that – I said I wanted out, in order to get my head together, and allow myself time to realise what the hell I do want from my life.

Ok – maybe I should have done this the end of June, instead of rushing straight into another relationship, but at the time, it seemed like the best thing for me.

I admit that I’m not exactly the easiest person in the world to get on with, as I can be a terrible flirt, but there are times when I felt suffocated, and that was the last thing I needed to feel.

To make matters worse, I’m still having to work with my ex, but I’ll give him his due, he’s been totally professional when he’s been dealing with me, and has given no indication that we’ve (ok – I’ve) called time on our relationship.

Admittedly, it hurts like hell seeing the pain in his eyes, but until I know what the hell I do want, I’m no damned good to myself or anyone-else for that matter.

Time to call this quits – opening up like this is really stirring things that should be left well alone….

Back when I can get some semblance of order to my train of thought….

Karen

I walk where others fear to tread

Pushing the boundaries again....

Well, it looks like things might be coming to a head. I knew that my partner wasn’t particularly happy about me going to Dublin, but the mere fact that I’ve had the guts to take him on, over his niggling at me has really made things worse between us.

What is it about me? I seem to attract the control freaks, and at this moment in time, I’ve got enough on my plate without adding him into the mix.

Don’t get me wrong, I love him, but at this moment in time, I’m not sure what the hell I do want, but I know that I need to take my time, and not rush into anything, as it could come back to haunt me rather spectacularly, especially as we have to work with each other…

But, there is one bright spot on my horizon… My daft hog riding friend has been in contact with me again, and has started to make plans to meet up with me the end of this month at the Heritage Motor centre at Gaydon.

So, no matter what happens between me and my partner, at least I’ve got that to look forward to, as I have to admit, I really do enjoy his company.

Ah well, time to call this quits – I’m going to head for home – and it’s amazing how bad my mobile reception’s going to be! *Grin*

Back tomorrow.
Karen

I walk where others fear to tread

Ever felt like...

Wringing someone's neck, because all they've done is take the mickey? Well that's how I'm feeling at this moment in time. And the person responsible knows damned well that they are skating on very thin ice with me at the moment.

The person, to whom I’m referring, is my partner. He’s making the most of the fact that I’m still knackered from my trip to Dublin, and has been joking about me not being with it.

All he’s doing at the moment is really putting my back up, and I’m getting to the stage where I’m going to tell him exactly what I think of him at the moment, and it won’t be pleasant – for him anyway

Time to call this quits – I’m going to sort this out once and for all.


Back later – if my temper has cooled off.

Karen

I walk where others fear to tread

Back from Dublin... What a weekend!!!

Ok - I know one thing - the Irish can party alright, and I was debating whether I'd bitten off more than I could chew!

The flight out from Birmingham wasn't too bad, and I'll say one thing for Ryan Air - the service was basic, but the flight was reasonably comfortable.

Once I'd arrived in Dublin, I realised just how thankful I was for my heavy cord jacket, as the wind was whipping across the airfield at Dublin International airport... Then, it was off to get into the city centre. The bus was the cheapest way to get to the centre of Dublin..

But the powers that be were not looking after me, as the damned bus broke down! That was a minor inconvenience, and I soon found myself walking to my hotel.. It didn't look very impressive from the outside, but the room itself had the things that I considered essential - an en-suite bathroom (with a bloody good shower) and a comfortable bed!

Once unpacked, it was then off into the city centre to meet up with White Wolf and his friend, and hit the first bar that we found... I can't remember the name of the bar / pub, but it wasn't far from Temple Bar, and that was where I had my first pint of Guinness... Which was quite tasty!

The evening went quite fast, and I soon realised that Guinness hits me a damned sight harder than I realised, and sits in your stomach like a three course meal! So that was the Friday night....

Saturday, the gang spent exploring Dublin, and went to the Guinness storehouse - a must see for anyone going to Dublin, I was told. (see http://www.guinness-storehouse.com/home/home.asp )Ok - that's fine, but if you're like me, and suffer vertigo, it's not funny. Simply because the viewing tower has a glass floor... Ok - the views over Dublin are spectacular (you can see the Landsdown Road rugby ground from there) but it frightened the proverbial **** out of me!

Saturday night, we met up with the gang again, and unlike the Brits, the Irish start their partying late, and finish later than the Brits... We ended up in the Porter House, listening to live music, with a bloody good band, and good beer to top it off! The thing that made me laugh, was when the lot of us piled into the pizza restaurant opposite, at 03:30, as we were all starving!

Sunday, however, the city appeared to close down, so it was a chance to just chill out (and try to recover from my hangover - yes - I did suffer!) But luckily for me, Dublin has loads of coffee shops that are open on a Sunday, so I was able to sit and chat with White Wolf, who was returning to Cork that afternoon... I wasn't worried about that, as I was meeting up with a friend who lived just outside Dublin...

The Sunday night was just as much fun as Saturday night - if a little quieter... We ended up going to some little music club, where the Guinness was very good, and the music was loud... Needless to say, it was another late night for me, or should that be an early morning? I finally got to bed about 04:00 on Monday morning, and was thanking my lucky stars that I wasn't flying back to the UK until the evening, thus giving me chance to get some sleep!

Monday was spent doing the last minute shopping for various gifts and silly things, including me buying a T-shirt with a picture of a pint of Guinness on it, and the words the leprechauns made me drink it.

But the real surprise came when I got to the airport. Ok - checking in was painless, as all my documents were present and correct.. It was security that gave me the most 'fun'. Simply because I had to take my knee length leather boots off, and put them through the x-ray machine, and pad through the metal detector in my revolting socks! Ok - that probably gave security a bloody good laugh, but it didn't really endear itself to me...

I should have taken that as an omen of the things that were still to come. There were flights being diverted into Dublin, due to adverse weather conditions all over Ireland, and the rain was driving across the airfield, which meant that I looked like a drowned rat running to the aircraft. (No buses when you're flying no frills!)

Once on the aircraft, I had the same seat as I'd had flying out - right by the emergency exit over the wing - which meant that I had more leg room than the other seats. That was ok, until we started to take off, and I felt the wind buffeting the aircraft, and felt the pilot fighting the aircraft as we got hit by a sudden gust of wind, which caused the leading edge of the right-hand (starboard) wing to drop to about 2ft off the runway...

The passenger beside me had his rosary beads out, and was murmuring a variety of prayers, where as all I could do was sit there and hope that whatever had looked after me in the past was still with me!

Once back on the ground, I've got to admit, I've never been so glad to see Birmingham airport, as that meant that I was nearly home, and could relax, as the flight had frightened me more than I was willing to admit to people. Don't get me wrong - I'm not scared of flying - far from it - it's just that there are some times when you wonder if you've done the right thing, getting on a given plane at a given time!

But, on the positive side, all this trip has done, is made me more determined to go back to Dublin, and possibly get a hire car, so that I can explore more of the countryside surrounding the city.

Suppose I should call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be working.. Well, that's the theory, anyway!

Back when I get the chance...

Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread

Look out Dublin - here I come!

Well, I'm all set and ready for White Wolf's 30th birthday do. I'm flying out of Birmingham airport on Friday morning, with Ryan Air and will be back on Monday night. It promises to be one hell of a good weekend, and I've been told that Dublin is very expensive to go out in...

Ok - maybe it is if you get caught in the tourist traps, but I've been advised on the best places to go and eat, as well as go out in the evening - so it promises to be one hell of a trip away for me. The only thing that I have been told that I must try is Guinness... Which I have to admit, I'm somewhat apprehensive about, as I loathe the stuff!

Suppose I should call this entry quits, as I need to be up early tomorrow morning...

Back when I get back from Ireland.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

What a weekend....

Saturday was quite good - I went into Coventry and met up with Carole and Amber - who seemed determined to play up - at least whilst she was with her mother! In the end, Carole got so fed up with her, she detatched the wrist strap from her arm, and said "here - you look after the little monster".

As soon as I put the strap around my wrist, Amber was as good as gold, walking along, sucking her thumb, and clinging onto me for grim death! (I think it might have been something to do with the fact that I promised her a Thornton's chocolate lolly!)

I left the pair of them later in the afternoon and got my hair cut / coloured, and got myself seriously relaxed, as I was going to be driving down to RHS Wisley - to see my daft friend.

I was supposed to meet up with him at 10:00, but I managed to get caught up in the aftermath of an accident on the M40... He called me at 09:35, and said that he was at Wisley, and wanted to know where I was!

Answer - belting down the M40 towards Princes Risborough, at a rather rapid pace (ok - about 90mph!) and was doing my best to get to Wisley with a clean driving license!

I got to Wisley at 10:15, and got parked, and walked up to my friend - who called out across the carpark...

"So what time do you call this, lover?"

I just grinned, as I saw the look on people's faces - they just didn't know what to make of the pair of us, especially as he hugged me - and to be honest, I thought he was trying to break my ribs - it was like a bear hug! I didn't object, as I knew that he didn't mean any harm, and that it was just his normal way of greeting me.

We walked across to the entrance of the gardens, and as I was smart enough to have grabbed Mum's RHS card, we got in for free - pest and guest!

The first thing that you see when you walk in, is a water Lilly pond, and there was a suggestion that I was used as a depth gauge - as in throw me in to see how deep it was! I pointed out that any attempt to do that would result in him being pulled in with me!

That made him laugh, and I suggested that we went to get a coffee - my treat, by way of an apology for being late. We sat talking, and it was like I'd only seen him a few days ago - I felt so relaxed in his company.

We decided to take a walk around the gardens, and swapped jokes and stories, and generally got to know each others' likes and dislikes... What I didn't realise was that he is very keen on roses - and I've suggested that next rose season, we head up to Austin Roses at Albrighton.

What I didn't realise at the time, was the fact that we share a similar outlook on life - as in there are friends that you trust to a certain extent, and then there are the friends that you trust implicitly - and would move heaven & earth to help.

I know this sounds silly, but this fella is one of those people that I would gladly drop everything and help - even if it was only just to provide an ear for him to bend, and a shoulder to fall apart on. Equally - I know that it works the other way, as he was the one who stopped me from calling it quits earlier in the year.

As the gardens closed at 15:45, we decided to go to a nearby pub (The Anchor - just outside Wisley village) where we just sat chatting about all sorts of things, and generally putting the world to rights once again.
When we finally decided that we could do no more about the world, we called it quits - with promises of not leaving it so damned long before we met up again, as the pair of us had really enjoyed spending the day together.

I still stand by what I said the first time that I met him - he's a really sweet fella, and if we were both single and lived closer to each other (he lives about 100 miles south of me!) I would seriously consider having a crack at him, as he's the sort of fella who I can relax with, and lose the hard nosed cow image....

And no - no matter what happens - I'm not going to let anything spoil my friendship - my other half knows damned well that there are some things that are non-negotiable -and this is one of them!

Suppose I should call it quits - I'm supposed to be working, not blogging!
Back tomorrow if I get the chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread

Time for a twisted joke....

Ok - this is a joke that has been floating around for years in various guises, but my partner told it to me whilst we were out on the town with Julian and co, and I've got to admit, I couldn't help but laugh!

Two men are sitting at the top of the Empire State Building drinking, when the first guy turns to the other one and said "You know, last week I discovered if you jump from the top of the building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the wind around the building is so intense it carries you back into the window".

The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar, but says nothing.

The second guy says "What? Are you insane? There's no way that could happen!"

"No, it's true" said the first guy, "let me prove it to you."

He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony and plummets towards the street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the wind whips him in the window, and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.

The second guy is astonished. "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but it must've been a fluke. That was scientifically impossible!"

"No, I'll prove it again" said the first man as he jumps.

Again, just as his body hurtles towards the street, the wind whips him into the 10th floor window. He takes the elevator back to the bar.

Once upstairs, he successfully urges his dubious fellow drinker to try it.

"Well what the heck," the second guys says, "I've seen that it works, so I'll try it".

He jumps over the balcony and rapidly plunges downwards........ His body hits the pavement with a loud "splat"

Back upstairs, the bartender who had been silent the whole time turns to the first drinker, and shakes his head and says...........

"You know, Superman, you're a real bastard when you're pissed."

Hmm - suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I'm suffering from a severe case of TNFI.............

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread