Tired and fed up

I guess I'm just in one of those moods - you know, where you can't seem to settle to doing anything, and your colleagues seem intent on picking at you for innocuous comments. So, I guess that this kind of sums up how I'm feeling at the moment..

To All Staff,

RE: SWEARING AT WORK

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended,this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do however; realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.


1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f____ing problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ing h _ll didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.

Thank You,

Human Resources

Ah well, suppose I should get on with a bit of work - but I'm suffering from TNFI - Totally No F______g Interest - but that could be due to the fact that I'm going to see Russell Watson at the Theatre Royal in Nottingham tonight,and I've got to get out of work at bang on 17:30, in order to get to my partner's place in time to get changed, freshen the make up, and get on the road to Nottingham.

Suppose I should get on with some work, instead of blogging.....

Back tomorrow - workload / hangover / exhaustion permitting!

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down