Things that make me laugh...

There's been an awful lot of jokes floating around the office, and to be honest, some of them are rather appropriate... Thankfully, the powers that be here don't seem to object to this sort of thing... Ok - I'll re-phrase that. If they do object, I haven't been told yet! This is one that I thought rather appropriate, especially given the fact that my role is changing....

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (SHIT)

In order to ensure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees; it is our policy to keep all employees well trained, through our Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We are trying to give our employees more SHIT than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of SHIT on the job, please see your Manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the SHIT list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the SHIT you can handle.

Employees who do not take their share of SHIT will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs, Special High Intensity Training (DEEP SHIT).

Those who fail to take DEEP SHIT seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training, Special High Intensity Training (EAT SHIT). Since your managers took SHIT before they were promoted, they do not have to do SHIT anymore because they are full of SHIT already.

If you, too, are full of SHIT, you may be interested in a job, training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List, Special High Intensity Training (BULL SHIT).

Those who are full of BULL SHIT will get SHIT jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming, Special High Intensity Training (DIP SHIT). If you have any questions, please direct them to our Head of Training, Special High Intensity Training (HOT SHIT).

Thank you.

Boss in General, Special High Intensity Training (BIG SHIT)

This is another one of those gems that has people howling here...

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "you know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing."

The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'ass'. The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts,"You can just stay there until I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios."

Time to call it quits - things are starting to get a little busy around here...

Back later.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down