What is it about some people? They buy a powerful car (something like a BMW 5 series) and then appear to be terrified of the car. I sometimes wonder if they've just bought the damned thing, because it's a prestige mark, and will look good parked on the drive / at the golf club / private gym car park.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not jealous (apart from the one occasion when I saw my dream car - an Aston Martin DB9 - being driven by some guy who couldn't have been a day over 90!), but it just infuriates me to see such cars being pootled about by people who seem to cling onto the steering wheel, almost as if that will somehow stop them going too fast.
What makes me rant like this today? Simple. A trip into Stratford-Upon-Avon, via the A46 - which is for all intents and purposes a motorway without the hard shoulder. I had the misfortune to get stuck behind someone in a 5 Series BMW, that refused to do above 50mph, and wouldn't move into the left hand lane either, despite the fact that there was nothing in the lane!
I eventually got past (a sneaky overtake on the Longbridge Island) and got a very dirty look from the passenger when I out accelerated the BMW, and sped off at high speed. Well, I was being reckless - I was doing 70mph - which is the speed limit on the road in question!
And before I get comments e-mailed to me that I would be scared to drive those cars, let me get one thing straight right now. I've driven everything from 1.2 litre Fiat Puntos (my first car was a '94 Fiat Punto SX - called Fiendish - simply because it was fiendishly expensive to sort out when it went wrong!) through to the one car that I will admit to being in awe of - the TVR Tuscan 3.8 l V8.... (See http://www.pistonheads.com/tvr/tuscanracer/brochure.htm for tech spec)
Ok - I know that my current car isn't exactly supercar material (I would have liked to get the Peugeot GTi 180, but my insurance company would love me, and my bank manager hate me!) but I'm planning on getting some tuning work on it... Along the lines of having the engine bored out to the exact spec that was laid down when the engine was designed, and a few other bits.
I did the same thing with my Toyota, and that turned it from a normal Yaris, into a tyre chewing, rain hating monster. Despite that, it was remarkably civilized around town (ok - it hated traffic jams), and was quite happy belting around a track - once I'd put the track day wheels on it.
Well, I'll be damned if I was going to ruin a set of road tyres, and as the tyres were about £50 + tyre - and that didn't include the hassle I had getting the damned things, it made sense for me to make the investment.
But, there was one drawback to using different tyres for the track days - I couldn't get the particular brand of tyre I wanted here in the UK, as there wasn't the requirement to bring the track tyre into the UK.
Thanks. That's a fat lot of good to me, but I was lucky enough to find a company who were able to help me get the tyres, and them fit them to the rims that I'd already invested in (OZ rims - expensive, but well worth the investment - the car went like I'd stuffed a small rocket up the exhaust pipe!)
However, when I sold the Toyota, I kept the wheels (I'm not as dumb as I sound!), and as soon as I get fit (or more to the point, I can use my right arm a bit more) I'm booking myself on a track day, and I'll see exactly what the Pug is made of...
So, if you're in the UK, and at a track day in the next few months, keep an eye open for a small Blue Pug with an attitude problem - you never know, it may be me!
Time to call it quits - I've got to go and wash the lights on the car - they're covered in road film because of all the salt / general crap that coats the roads these days.
Back tomorrow, if I get the peace and quiet.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Catching up with the gossip - in the name of charity...
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Just one of the things that I like about getting together with friends and work mates. And this time, it wasn't just an excuse to get pissed - it was to support the company's nominated charity - The Warwickshire & Northamptonshire Air Ambulance (please go to this link - http://www.wnaa.co.uk/ - it'll tell you all about the charity!)
It was a disco / raffle / auction / karaoke, held in Leamington. And yes - I did sing, OK - rephrase that - tried to sing. I did a duet with one of the senior managers, after I'd jokingly said to him that I would sing at the karaoke, if he'd sing with me.
Ok - not normally a problem, as I've said, I'm game for making an idiot of myself - especially in the name of charity. This time, however, I hadn't banked on going down with a stinking cold, and having very little voice left to sing, as I'd been at work, and my job involves an awful lot of talking.
My partner wasn't at the do, but he'd heard from people who were there, that Roger drowned me out. He did - simply because his voice was stronger than mine, and he also knew the song - it was Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers. If I'd had my way, we'd have done something like When you're Gone - by Bryan Adams & Mel C. But, beggars can't be choosers, and I will admit, I did enjoy myself...
The thing that I really enjoyed, was the chance to catch up with a certain person I'd not seen since January. Yep - you guessed it - my 'escort' from the post conference piss up. We sat talking about various bits and pieces - despite the fact that he was serously miffed that I'd not called him to let him know I was in Edinburgh last weekend!
When I pointed out that I'd been there for the rugby, he said he wasn't bothered about Rugby, as he couldn't stand the game, but would have joined up with me for a night out on the town! I also managed to find out a bit more information (for my own peace of mind) about the morning after the conference....
As I've said in a previous post, my line manager was rather subdued, and I always put this down to the size of his hangover.... Well, it turns out that the hangover was only part of the problem. The rest was due to a comment that was passed over breakfast at the hotel where they were all staying.....
"You've got good staff", was the comment that was passed by my escort, when he was asked if he'd had a good time the night before and apparently, my line manager looked stunned for a moment, and then started talking business!
My guess is he must have thought along the lines of 2 + 2 = 22. God knows what he thought I'd done - as I've said, this fella is married, and I was there with my partner! Still, it explains an awful lot.
Needless to say, I'm not stupid enough to say anything on Monday, as there are some ghosts that I wish to lay to rest / leave where they lie. If anything, talking to a couple of other people, it's taught me that people will see things as more involved than they really are - and draw their own conclusions - no matter what you may or may not say.
And this time, I left with another couple, and the fact that I was seen walking to my car can be vouched for. That and the fact that I drove over to my partner's home (where I'm updating my blog!) so hopefully, there won't be too many stupid comments...
Supposed I ought to log off and bog off - got to wrap Mum's Mother's Day present up...
Back later - possibly.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
It was a disco / raffle / auction / karaoke, held in Leamington. And yes - I did sing, OK - rephrase that - tried to sing. I did a duet with one of the senior managers, after I'd jokingly said to him that I would sing at the karaoke, if he'd sing with me.
Ok - not normally a problem, as I've said, I'm game for making an idiot of myself - especially in the name of charity. This time, however, I hadn't banked on going down with a stinking cold, and having very little voice left to sing, as I'd been at work, and my job involves an awful lot of talking.
My partner wasn't at the do, but he'd heard from people who were there, that Roger drowned me out. He did - simply because his voice was stronger than mine, and he also knew the song - it was Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers. If I'd had my way, we'd have done something like When you're Gone - by Bryan Adams & Mel C. But, beggars can't be choosers, and I will admit, I did enjoy myself...
The thing that I really enjoyed, was the chance to catch up with a certain person I'd not seen since January. Yep - you guessed it - my 'escort' from the post conference piss up. We sat talking about various bits and pieces - despite the fact that he was serously miffed that I'd not called him to let him know I was in Edinburgh last weekend!
When I pointed out that I'd been there for the rugby, he said he wasn't bothered about Rugby, as he couldn't stand the game, but would have joined up with me for a night out on the town! I also managed to find out a bit more information (for my own peace of mind) about the morning after the conference....
As I've said in a previous post, my line manager was rather subdued, and I always put this down to the size of his hangover.... Well, it turns out that the hangover was only part of the problem. The rest was due to a comment that was passed over breakfast at the hotel where they were all staying.....
"You've got good staff", was the comment that was passed by my escort, when he was asked if he'd had a good time the night before and apparently, my line manager looked stunned for a moment, and then started talking business!
My guess is he must have thought along the lines of 2 + 2 = 22. God knows what he thought I'd done - as I've said, this fella is married, and I was there with my partner! Still, it explains an awful lot.
Needless to say, I'm not stupid enough to say anything on Monday, as there are some ghosts that I wish to lay to rest / leave where they lie. If anything, talking to a couple of other people, it's taught me that people will see things as more involved than they really are - and draw their own conclusions - no matter what you may or may not say.
And this time, I left with another couple, and the fact that I was seen walking to my car can be vouched for. That and the fact that I drove over to my partner's home (where I'm updating my blog!) so hopefully, there won't be too many stupid comments...
Supposed I ought to log off and bog off - got to wrap Mum's Mother's Day present up...
Back later - possibly.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
A time for fun and reflection
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I guess that the title of my latest blog entry is a bit unusual, as fun and reflection don't often go together... However, this is one of the occasions when they did.
The fun was the fact that I was able to spend the day taking the mickey out of various people - including my line manager, who really copped a beauty off me this afternoon....
I was complaining that the physiotherapist was a sadistic bitch (ok - she's not that bad - just a little bit too forceful - I'm a delicate little thing where my shoulder's concerned), and I was told that I enjoyed it really....
"Ok - you can go in my place, and I'll go to the meeting."
"No thanks Karen - I wouldn't want to deprive you of your fun. What's her name?"
"Not sure - only met her once. Why?"
"She sounds like Miss Whiplash."
"Oh yes? Have you met her before?"
"Once or twice."
"I wasn't asking about your private life."
I've never seen anyone go so red. It was quite funny, and for once, my line manager was lost for words. But, I guess that could have been to do with the fact that we work in an open plan office, and most people would have heard the pair of us talking, and my final comment!
The time for reflection came when I got home, and checked the post box. There was a hand written note from my Aunt Pauline. It turned out that she and my Uncle Martin had taken the chance to come over and see Mum and myself - but the pair of us were at work!
To be honest, I'm not really bothered, as I like my uncle, but my aunt is not someone that I have much time for. But, I guess that there'll be plenty of time to avoid them in the future...
But the best bit, for me is the mere fact that I can update my blog whilst listening to a rather unusual choice of music..... Kevin Bloody Wilson. I will admit, some of the songs are rather.... Fruity in language, but my favorite is a send up of Frosty the Snowman - Frosty the Yobbo.
Time to call this entry quits - I can hear Mum's car pulling up on the drive...
Back tomorrow.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
The fun was the fact that I was able to spend the day taking the mickey out of various people - including my line manager, who really copped a beauty off me this afternoon....
I was complaining that the physiotherapist was a sadistic bitch (ok - she's not that bad - just a little bit too forceful - I'm a delicate little thing where my shoulder's concerned), and I was told that I enjoyed it really....
"Ok - you can go in my place, and I'll go to the meeting."
"No thanks Karen - I wouldn't want to deprive you of your fun. What's her name?"
"Not sure - only met her once. Why?"
"She sounds like Miss Whiplash."
"Oh yes? Have you met her before?"
"Once or twice."
"I wasn't asking about your private life."
I've never seen anyone go so red. It was quite funny, and for once, my line manager was lost for words. But, I guess that could have been to do with the fact that we work in an open plan office, and most people would have heard the pair of us talking, and my final comment!
The time for reflection came when I got home, and checked the post box. There was a hand written note from my Aunt Pauline. It turned out that she and my Uncle Martin had taken the chance to come over and see Mum and myself - but the pair of us were at work!
To be honest, I'm not really bothered, as I like my uncle, but my aunt is not someone that I have much time for. But, I guess that there'll be plenty of time to avoid them in the future...
But the best bit, for me is the mere fact that I can update my blog whilst listening to a rather unusual choice of music..... Kevin Bloody Wilson. I will admit, some of the songs are rather.... Fruity in language, but my favorite is a send up of Frosty the Snowman - Frosty the Yobbo.
Time to call this entry quits - I can hear Mum's car pulling up on the drive...
Back tomorrow.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
Breaking the habit...
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I'm worried. No - it's nothing to do with my ex (he hasn't tried to contact me today, so hopefully he's getting the hint!) but it's to do with my shoulder.
As I've said in previous posts, I've managed to damage my right shoulder again, and am currently undergoing treatment with a physiotherapist. Don't get me wrong, she's very good, but has told me that if I can't rectify the problem with my shoulder blade, then I'll have to see an orthopedic surgeon.
The trouble is, when I damaged the shoulder back in April 2004, it looks like the injury caused the shoulder blade to stick out away from the chest wall, putting strain on the rest of the joint, and causing me no-end of trouble.
And why am I breaking the habit? Simple. I've finally realised that my ex-fiance is a male bunny boiler (if you can have such a thing) and have decided to change my e-mail and mobile phone numbers. I've texted people who's' e-mail addresses I lacked and gave a brief summary of my reasons, and gave them the new details.
To be honest, the Linkin Park track, Breakin' the Habit, sums up just how I'm feeling at this moment in time...
Memories consume like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume, I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight...
Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more, than any time before
I have no options left again
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight...
Suppose I'd better log off for tonight - I promised I'd go and see my other half tonight, and it's time I got moving!
Back tomorrow - if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
As I've said in previous posts, I've managed to damage my right shoulder again, and am currently undergoing treatment with a physiotherapist. Don't get me wrong, she's very good, but has told me that if I can't rectify the problem with my shoulder blade, then I'll have to see an orthopedic surgeon.
The trouble is, when I damaged the shoulder back in April 2004, it looks like the injury caused the shoulder blade to stick out away from the chest wall, putting strain on the rest of the joint, and causing me no-end of trouble.
And why am I breaking the habit? Simple. I've finally realised that my ex-fiance is a male bunny boiler (if you can have such a thing) and have decided to change my e-mail and mobile phone numbers. I've texted people who's' e-mail addresses I lacked and gave a brief summary of my reasons, and gave them the new details.
To be honest, the Linkin Park track, Breakin' the Habit, sums up just how I'm feeling at this moment in time...
Memories consume like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume, I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight...
Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more, than any time before
I have no options left again
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight...
Suppose I'd better log off for tonight - I promised I'd go and see my other half tonight, and it's time I got moving!
Back tomorrow - if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Trying to break with the past - but the past won't let me escape
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Karen
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The break away in Edinburgh was just what the doctor ordered - even if I did have a major hangover! But that was self inflicted - I went drinking with some Italian rugby fans after the match. They were drowning their sorrows - I was celebrating, and my other half was just enjoying himself - not to mention trying to block out the freezing cold wind!
The problems arose when we got back to our respective homes. I'd left my 'phone turned off over the weekend, as the people I cared about knew that I was going to be away, and was unlikely to even think about turning my 'phone on, let alone check to see if there were any messages.
When I did turn my 'phone on, I discovered that there were about half a dozen messages - all from my ex-fiance. He sounded desperate, irritated and indifferent, depending on the order that I'd listened to the messages. I will admit, all it did was upset me, as all I want is to be left alone.
But, that wasn't the only trick up his sleeve... He called me last night, and said that he needed to see me, as his father had been diagnosed with cancer, and hadn't got long to live. OK - call me a nasty sceptical cow, but after I'd spoken to him, I called his sister to see what the real truth was.
Yep - you guessed it. He was just stringing me along, as he doesn't know that I'm still in contact with the rest of his family, as I always had time for them. I did the decent thing, and told my other half, who went loopy, and was all in favour of going down south, and beating the living crap out of him.
To be honest, I felt like doing that, but if I did go down south and confront him, it would give him the idea that I care about him, when all I want is for him to leave me the hell alone. And to be honest, it's getting to the stage where I'm worried about answering my 'phone.
I know that there will be people reading this, and who will be sitting there, muttering "Silly cow. Why don't you change your mobile number and e-mail address so that he can't contact you?"
If it was that easy, I would do so, but I fail to see the reason why I should have all the hassle of changing my contact details, just because some moron can't get it through his thick skull that I want nothing more to do with him.
Ah well, time to log of and bog off - I've got stuff to do before I get to bed tonight....
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
The problems arose when we got back to our respective homes. I'd left my 'phone turned off over the weekend, as the people I cared about knew that I was going to be away, and was unlikely to even think about turning my 'phone on, let alone check to see if there were any messages.
When I did turn my 'phone on, I discovered that there were about half a dozen messages - all from my ex-fiance. He sounded desperate, irritated and indifferent, depending on the order that I'd listened to the messages. I will admit, all it did was upset me, as all I want is to be left alone.
But, that wasn't the only trick up his sleeve... He called me last night, and said that he needed to see me, as his father had been diagnosed with cancer, and hadn't got long to live. OK - call me a nasty sceptical cow, but after I'd spoken to him, I called his sister to see what the real truth was.
Yep - you guessed it. He was just stringing me along, as he doesn't know that I'm still in contact with the rest of his family, as I always had time for them. I did the decent thing, and told my other half, who went loopy, and was all in favour of going down south, and beating the living crap out of him.
To be honest, I felt like doing that, but if I did go down south and confront him, it would give him the idea that I care about him, when all I want is for him to leave me the hell alone. And to be honest, it's getting to the stage where I'm worried about answering my 'phone.
I know that there will be people reading this, and who will be sitting there, muttering "Silly cow. Why don't you change your mobile number and e-mail address so that he can't contact you?"
If it was that easy, I would do so, but I fail to see the reason why I should have all the hassle of changing my contact details, just because some moron can't get it through his thick skull that I want nothing more to do with him.
Ah well, time to log of and bog off - I've got stuff to do before I get to bed tonight....
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Weekends were made for escaping....
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I guess that the title of this entry says it all. I've escaped from Warwickshire, and am currently updating my blog whilst seated in my Great-Uncle's study in Wilkeston - on the outskirts of Edinburgh.
What am I doing here? Simple. It has to do with the small matter of a rugby international between those two "super powers" of world rugby - Scotland and Italy, in the Six Nations tournament at Murrayfield.
For more years than I care to admit to (ok - about 10!) my uncle has bought me tickets to a rugby international of my choice as a birthday / Christmas present. So, I took him up on his offer and took this particular game.
Ok - maybe it's not the game that most purists would have chosen, but I wanted to see my uncle on his home turf, and sit and shoot the breeze with him, as I'd not seen him since last year - at Dad's funeral.
But I'm not here on my own. I've brought my other half with me, as he's a rugby fanatic, but has never managed to make it to an international for one reason or another, and has for as long as I've known him, been on about getting tickets.
So, without his knowledge, I made the necessary arrangements, having made sure that he wasn't working this weekend by asking his manager, and explaining my motives. (I'll give the guy his due, he's a damned good actor, as he looked really surprised when my other half told him what I'd done!) And then all I had to do was choose the right moment to tell my other half...
I gave him the news of this particular trip on Thursday night, The look of surprise was something I'll treasure, and he looked at me as if he wasn't quite sure about me, as he knows that I'm quite capable of winding him up like clockwork.
I managed to dispel his fears by producing the flight confirmation for the flight to Edinburgh from Birmingham on the Friday night flight, and the return flight on Sunday night.
Ah well, suppose I'd better log off and bog off - there are things I want to do before I go to the rugby....
Back tomorrow - hangover permitting!
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
What am I doing here? Simple. It has to do with the small matter of a rugby international between those two "super powers" of world rugby - Scotland and Italy, in the Six Nations tournament at Murrayfield.
For more years than I care to admit to (ok - about 10!) my uncle has bought me tickets to a rugby international of my choice as a birthday / Christmas present. So, I took him up on his offer and took this particular game.
Ok - maybe it's not the game that most purists would have chosen, but I wanted to see my uncle on his home turf, and sit and shoot the breeze with him, as I'd not seen him since last year - at Dad's funeral.
But I'm not here on my own. I've brought my other half with me, as he's a rugby fanatic, but has never managed to make it to an international for one reason or another, and has for as long as I've known him, been on about getting tickets.
So, without his knowledge, I made the necessary arrangements, having made sure that he wasn't working this weekend by asking his manager, and explaining my motives. (I'll give the guy his due, he's a damned good actor, as he looked really surprised when my other half told him what I'd done!) And then all I had to do was choose the right moment to tell my other half...
I gave him the news of this particular trip on Thursday night, The look of surprise was something I'll treasure, and he looked at me as if he wasn't quite sure about me, as he knows that I'm quite capable of winding him up like clockwork.
I managed to dispel his fears by producing the flight confirmation for the flight to Edinburgh from Birmingham on the Friday night flight, and the return flight on Sunday night.
Ah well, suppose I'd better log off and bog off - there are things I want to do before I go to the rugby....
Back tomorrow - hangover permitting!
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Howling with laughter...
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I couldn't resist posting this joke - it came in from a Texas native, and believe me, his chili dishes are lethal - a case of one fart and you cauterize your haemaroides!
If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. Most people will be crying by the end.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio city park. The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
Frank: Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event: (Frank is Judge #3)
Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) Holy Moly what the hell is in this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy!
Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili....
Judge # 1 ? Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. These hicks are out of their minds.
Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans
Judge # 2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting frog-faced from all of the beer...
Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic?
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish orother mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb woman is starting to look HOT... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 --Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices & peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I messed myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.
Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili..
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.**
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and Iwouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella. Wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
The moral of the story?
Life is not like a box of chocolates. Life is like a jar of jalapeños.
What you do today may burn your ass tomorrow!
Back when I get peace and quiet from the moggies....
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. Most people will be crying by the end.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio city park. The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
Frank: Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event: (Frank is Judge #3)
Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) Holy Moly what the hell is in this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy!
Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili....
Judge # 1 ? Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. These hicks are out of their minds.
Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans
Judge # 2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting frog-faced from all of the beer...
Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic?
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish orother mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb woman is starting to look HOT... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 --Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices & peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I messed myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.
Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili..
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.**
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and Iwouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella. Wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
The moral of the story?
Life is not like a box of chocolates. Life is like a jar of jalapeños.
What you do today may burn your ass tomorrow!
Back when I get peace and quiet from the moggies....
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Shoe bomber Update...
Posted by
Karen
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This is a copy of the e-mail that I received yesterday - the only editing I've done is to remove the sender's identity.
Karen.
Remember the guy who got on a plane with a bomb built into his shoe and tried to light it? Did you know his trial is over? Did you know he was sentenced? Did you see/hear any of the judge's comments on TV/Radio? Didn't think so. Everyone should hear what the judge had to say.
Ruling by Judge William Young US District Court
Prior to sentencing, the Judge asked the defendant if he had anything to say.
His response: After admitting his guilt to the court for the record, Reid also admitted his "allegiance to Osama bin Laden, to Islam, and to the religion of Allah," defiantly stated "I think I ought not apologize for my actions," and told the court "I am at war with your country."
Judge Young then delivered the statement quoted below, a stinging condemnation of Reid in particular and terrorists in general:
January 30, 2003, United States vs. Reid. Judge Young: Mr. Richard C. Reid, hearken now to the sentence the Court imposes upon you. On counts 1, 5 and 6 the Court sentences you to life in prison in the custody of the United States Attorney General. On counts 2, 3, 4 and 7, the Court sentences you to 20 years in prison on each count, the sentence on each count to run consecutive with the other.
That's 80 years. On count 8 the Court sentences you to the mandatory 30 years consecutive to the 80 years just imposed. The Court imposes upon you each of the eight counts a fine of $250,000 for the aggregate fine of $2 million. The Court accepts the government's recommendation with respect to restitution and orders restitution in the amount of $298.17 to Andre Bousquet and $5,784 to American Airlines. The Court imposes upon you the $800 special assessment.
The Court imposes upon you five years supervised release simply because the law requires it. But the life sentences are real life sentences so I need go no further. This is the sentence that is provided for by our statutes. It is a fair and just sentence. It is a righteous sentence.
Let me explain this to you. We are not afraid of you or any of your terrorist co-conspirators, Mr. Reid. We are Americans. We have been through the fire before. There is all too much war talk here and I say that to everyone with the utmost respect. Here in this court, where we deal with individuals as individuals and care for individuals as individuals. As human beings, we reach out for justice.
You are not an enemy combatant. You are a terrorist. You are not a soldier in any war. You are a terrorist. To give you that reference, to call you a soldier, gives you far too much stature. Whether it is the officers of government who do it or your attorney who does it, or that happens to be your view, you are a terrorist... And we do not negotiate with terrorists. We do not treat with terrorists. We do not sign documents with terrorists. We hunt them down one by one and bring them to justice.
So war talk is way out of line in this court. You are a big fellow. But you are not that big. You're no warrior. I know warriors. You are a terrorist. A species of criminal guilty of multiple attempted murders. In a very real sense, State Trooper Santiago had it right when you first were taken off that plane and into custody and you wondered where the press and where the TV crews were and he said you're no big deal.
You're no big deal.
What your counsel, what your able counsel and what the equally able United States attorneys have grappled with and what I have as honestly as I know how tried to grapple with, is why you did something so horrific. What was it that led you here to this court room today?
I have listened respectfully to what you have to say. And I ask you to search your heart and ask yourself what sort of unfathomable hate led you to do what you are guilty and admit you are guilty of doing. And I have an answer for you. It may not satisfy you, but as I search this entire record, it comes as close to understanding as I know.
It seems to me you hate the one thing that is most precious. You hate our freedom. Our individual freedom. Our individual freedom to live as we choose, to come and go as we choose, to believe or not believe as we individually choose. Here, in this society, the very winds carry freedom. They carry it everywhere from sea to shining sea.
It is because we prize individual freedom so much that you are here in this beautiful courtroom. So that everyone can see, truly see, that justice is administered fairly, individually, and discretely. It is for freedom's sake that your lawyers are striving so vigorously on your behalf and have filed appeals, will go on in their representation of you before other judges.
We are about it. Because we all know that the way we treat you, Mr. Reid, is the measure of our own liberties. Make no mistake though. It is yet true that we will bare any burden; pay any price, to preserve our freedoms. Look around this courtroom. Mark it well. The world is not going to long remember what you or I say here. Day after tomorrow, it will be forgotten, but this, however, will long endure. Here in this courtroom and courtrooms all across America, the American people will gather to see that justice, individual justice, justice, not war, individual justice is in fact being done.
The very President of the United States through his officers will have to come into courtrooms and lay out evidence on which specific matters can be judged and juries of citizens will gather to sit and judge that evidence democratically, to mold and shape and refine our sense of justice.
See that flag, Mr. Reid? That's the flag of the United States of America. That flag will fly there long after this is all forgotten. That flag stands for freedom. You know it always will.
Mr. Custody Officer. Stand him down.
So, how much of this Judge's comments did we hear on our TV sets? We need more judges like Judge Young, but that's another subject. Pass this around. Everyone should and needs to hear what this fine judge had to say. Powerful words that strike home.
God bless America
Karen.
Remember the guy who got on a plane with a bomb built into his shoe and tried to light it? Did you know his trial is over? Did you know he was sentenced? Did you see/hear any of the judge's comments on TV/Radio? Didn't think so. Everyone should hear what the judge had to say.
Ruling by Judge William Young US District Court
Prior to sentencing, the Judge asked the defendant if he had anything to say.
His response: After admitting his guilt to the court for the record, Reid also admitted his "allegiance to Osama bin Laden, to Islam, and to the religion of Allah," defiantly stated "I think I ought not apologize for my actions," and told the court "I am at war with your country."
Judge Young then delivered the statement quoted below, a stinging condemnation of Reid in particular and terrorists in general:
January 30, 2003, United States vs. Reid. Judge Young: Mr. Richard C. Reid, hearken now to the sentence the Court imposes upon you. On counts 1, 5 and 6 the Court sentences you to life in prison in the custody of the United States Attorney General. On counts 2, 3, 4 and 7, the Court sentences you to 20 years in prison on each count, the sentence on each count to run consecutive with the other.
That's 80 years. On count 8 the Court sentences you to the mandatory 30 years consecutive to the 80 years just imposed. The Court imposes upon you each of the eight counts a fine of $250,000 for the aggregate fine of $2 million. The Court accepts the government's recommendation with respect to restitution and orders restitution in the amount of $298.17 to Andre Bousquet and $5,784 to American Airlines. The Court imposes upon you the $800 special assessment.
The Court imposes upon you five years supervised release simply because the law requires it. But the life sentences are real life sentences so I need go no further. This is the sentence that is provided for by our statutes. It is a fair and just sentence. It is a righteous sentence.
Let me explain this to you. We are not afraid of you or any of your terrorist co-conspirators, Mr. Reid. We are Americans. We have been through the fire before. There is all too much war talk here and I say that to everyone with the utmost respect. Here in this court, where we deal with individuals as individuals and care for individuals as individuals. As human beings, we reach out for justice.
You are not an enemy combatant. You are a terrorist. You are not a soldier in any war. You are a terrorist. To give you that reference, to call you a soldier, gives you far too much stature. Whether it is the officers of government who do it or your attorney who does it, or that happens to be your view, you are a terrorist... And we do not negotiate with terrorists. We do not treat with terrorists. We do not sign documents with terrorists. We hunt them down one by one and bring them to justice.
So war talk is way out of line in this court. You are a big fellow. But you are not that big. You're no warrior. I know warriors. You are a terrorist. A species of criminal guilty of multiple attempted murders. In a very real sense, State Trooper Santiago had it right when you first were taken off that plane and into custody and you wondered where the press and where the TV crews were and he said you're no big deal.
You're no big deal.
What your counsel, what your able counsel and what the equally able United States attorneys have grappled with and what I have as honestly as I know how tried to grapple with, is why you did something so horrific. What was it that led you here to this court room today?
I have listened respectfully to what you have to say. And I ask you to search your heart and ask yourself what sort of unfathomable hate led you to do what you are guilty and admit you are guilty of doing. And I have an answer for you. It may not satisfy you, but as I search this entire record, it comes as close to understanding as I know.
It seems to me you hate the one thing that is most precious. You hate our freedom. Our individual freedom. Our individual freedom to live as we choose, to come and go as we choose, to believe or not believe as we individually choose. Here, in this society, the very winds carry freedom. They carry it everywhere from sea to shining sea.
It is because we prize individual freedom so much that you are here in this beautiful courtroom. So that everyone can see, truly see, that justice is administered fairly, individually, and discretely. It is for freedom's sake that your lawyers are striving so vigorously on your behalf and have filed appeals, will go on in their representation of you before other judges.
We are about it. Because we all know that the way we treat you, Mr. Reid, is the measure of our own liberties. Make no mistake though. It is yet true that we will bare any burden; pay any price, to preserve our freedoms. Look around this courtroom. Mark it well. The world is not going to long remember what you or I say here. Day after tomorrow, it will be forgotten, but this, however, will long endure. Here in this courtroom and courtrooms all across America, the American people will gather to see that justice, individual justice, justice, not war, individual justice is in fact being done.
The very President of the United States through his officers will have to come into courtrooms and lay out evidence on which specific matters can be judged and juries of citizens will gather to sit and judge that evidence democratically, to mold and shape and refine our sense of justice.
See that flag, Mr. Reid? That's the flag of the United States of America. That flag will fly there long after this is all forgotten. That flag stands for freedom. You know it always will.
Mr. Custody Officer. Stand him down.
So, how much of this Judge's comments did we hear on our TV sets? We need more judges like Judge Young, but that's another subject. Pass this around. Everyone should and needs to hear what this fine judge had to say. Powerful words that strike home.
God bless America
More from the wounded one...
Posted by
Karen
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Ok - I know that sounds melodramatic, but it's just how I'm feeling at this moment in time. I went into work yesterday - against Mum's wishes, but I'm glad in a way that I did.
Simply because we'd got four people in the department off. Ok - I know one of them doesn't really count (and no - I'm not being rude / nasty) because my line manager doesn't take any of the calls, but the other three do count.
And, as it transpired, if I hadn't been in, most of the reports that I do wouldn't have been done. No, that's not me blowing my own trumpet - it's a statement of fact, as the guy who normally covers for me if I'm on holiday / off sick / got tnfi (totally no f*****g interest) was also off.
But, despite that, my colleagues were really supportive and seemed to make allowances for me being a little slower on the computer than normal, as I'm one of these lucky (ok - smart ass) people that can type properly - as in using all the fingers of both hands.
Equally, I was glad I went into work, as it gave me a chance to catch up on the 50 + e-mails that seem to have landed in my in-box. I occasionally get spam, but more often than not, I get some real gems being sent into me - this one being one of them....
See the next post for the e-mail - it deserves a post of its own.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Simply because we'd got four people in the department off. Ok - I know one of them doesn't really count (and no - I'm not being rude / nasty) because my line manager doesn't take any of the calls, but the other three do count.
And, as it transpired, if I hadn't been in, most of the reports that I do wouldn't have been done. No, that's not me blowing my own trumpet - it's a statement of fact, as the guy who normally covers for me if I'm on holiday / off sick / got tnfi (totally no f*****g interest) was also off.
But, despite that, my colleagues were really supportive and seemed to make allowances for me being a little slower on the computer than normal, as I'm one of these lucky (ok - smart ass) people that can type properly - as in using all the fingers of both hands.
Equally, I was glad I went into work, as it gave me a chance to catch up on the 50 + e-mails that seem to have landed in my in-box. I occasionally get spam, but more often than not, I get some real gems being sent into me - this one being one of them....
See the next post for the e-mail - it deserves a post of its own.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Sorry for not updating my blog... But I’ve got a good excuse!
Posted by
Karen
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I guess the title of this entry says it all. There hasn’t been much happening in my life – I wake up, go to work, deal with people I like and dislike, come home, have dinner and crash out asleep.
But that changed on Friday, when Flame decided to throw me off, because she’d got a sore back – something I didn’t know about until I got the vet to have a look at her.
When I came off Flame, I landed on my back. Ok, as I’ve said in the past, when I ride any horse, I wear my body armour – but that doesn’t protect you from the instinct to put an arm out to cushion the fall.
Me being my normal self, put my right arm out to protect my back and lessen the impact, and felt a slight pull in the shoulder… I didn’t think too much about being thrown off and bits ached, but there was nothing drastic for me to worry about – or so I thought…
The real fun and games started over the weekend, when Mum decided that the best option was for her to drive, as my shoulder was giving me problems, and I’d agreed that the best course of action was to go and see my GP (General Practitioner – also known as the family doctor) if things hadn’t improved by Thursday…
Or rather that was the plan. I was at my desk on Tuesday, and reached slightly awkwardly to get a rather heavy file from the other side of my desk, when I felt the familiar, horrible tearing sensation in my shoulder.
I could have cheerfully screamed and passed out, but somehow managed to complete the call I was on, before going green. I took two 500mg paracetamol tablets, in the vain hope that they would quieten things down, but they didn’t even come close to touching the pain.
It got to the stage when I ended up leaving early, as I’d been lucky enough to get an emergency appointment with my GP and went to pick Mum up from work, as we’d travelled in together, and I’d been the one to drive!
Thankfully, Mum was happy(ish) to drive my car in order to get me to the doctors’ surgery, and said that if I was going to have to go to Warwick hospital for x-rays, she wanted to make a detour home and collect her car, which had her glasses in, and more to the point, she was fully insured driving it – my car is only covered 3rd party insurance for her to drive!
I was called into see the doctor on time, and he examined my shoulder and reviewed my notes from the previous visits for my shoulder. He said that he couldn’t see that there was any need for me to go for any x-rays (YES!) as he said:
“If you have any more x-rays, I think your shoulder may drop off or you’ll glow in the dark”
I was also told to take yesterday (Wednesday) off, and that I was to use my own discretion about returning to work, and if I was still in pain on Friday, then I was to make an appointment for Monday, and get the shoulder join re-checked.
So, as I type this, I’m seated at my home computer, with my right arm immobilised in a sling again, and am drugged up to the eyeballs on various pain killers, trying to lead some semblance of a normal life.
As I said in a message to one of my colleagues yesterday, when she asked how I was feeling:
“….. The painkillers take the edge off things, but I still feel very woolly headed – more than normal!”
And add to that, the mere fact that I’ve managed about 6 hours sleep in the past 48 hours, and you can see why I’ve opted to take these past two days off. But that doesn’t stop me feeling guilty because I feel that I’ve dropped my colleagues in the brown smelly stuff, as there is an awful lot of stuff that I am responsible for, apart from doing my obligatory mickey taking!
I guess that there is a positive side – I’ve been able to watch a couple of really good films – Bruce Willis in The Fifth Element and Will Smith in I, Robot. Both were films that I’d bought, but never had chance to sit and watch.
But, being off work, and refusing to watch the crap that masquerades as daytime television, it gave me a damned good excuse to get as comfortable as possible, get the cats settled and watch the films without interruption. (I’d turned my mobile phone off!)
Time to go and spray my shoulder again (yes – it does help being a partial contortionist – especially as I’ve failed in my attempts to train either cat to use an aerosol for me!) Then I’m going to settle down and watch The Mothman Prophecies – with Richard Gere. He’s not an actor I normally like, but from what I’ve been told, it’s a damned good film...
Back when I get chance, and hopefully, I’ll be feeling brighter…
Karen.
Don’t let the b’stards get you down.
But that changed on Friday, when Flame decided to throw me off, because she’d got a sore back – something I didn’t know about until I got the vet to have a look at her.
When I came off Flame, I landed on my back. Ok, as I’ve said in the past, when I ride any horse, I wear my body armour – but that doesn’t protect you from the instinct to put an arm out to cushion the fall.
Me being my normal self, put my right arm out to protect my back and lessen the impact, and felt a slight pull in the shoulder… I didn’t think too much about being thrown off and bits ached, but there was nothing drastic for me to worry about – or so I thought…
The real fun and games started over the weekend, when Mum decided that the best option was for her to drive, as my shoulder was giving me problems, and I’d agreed that the best course of action was to go and see my GP (General Practitioner – also known as the family doctor) if things hadn’t improved by Thursday…
Or rather that was the plan. I was at my desk on Tuesday, and reached slightly awkwardly to get a rather heavy file from the other side of my desk, when I felt the familiar, horrible tearing sensation in my shoulder.
I could have cheerfully screamed and passed out, but somehow managed to complete the call I was on, before going green. I took two 500mg paracetamol tablets, in the vain hope that they would quieten things down, but they didn’t even come close to touching the pain.
It got to the stage when I ended up leaving early, as I’d been lucky enough to get an emergency appointment with my GP and went to pick Mum up from work, as we’d travelled in together, and I’d been the one to drive!
Thankfully, Mum was happy(ish) to drive my car in order to get me to the doctors’ surgery, and said that if I was going to have to go to Warwick hospital for x-rays, she wanted to make a detour home and collect her car, which had her glasses in, and more to the point, she was fully insured driving it – my car is only covered 3rd party insurance for her to drive!
I was called into see the doctor on time, and he examined my shoulder and reviewed my notes from the previous visits for my shoulder. He said that he couldn’t see that there was any need for me to go for any x-rays (YES!) as he said:
“If you have any more x-rays, I think your shoulder may drop off or you’ll glow in the dark”
I was also told to take yesterday (Wednesday) off, and that I was to use my own discretion about returning to work, and if I was still in pain on Friday, then I was to make an appointment for Monday, and get the shoulder join re-checked.
So, as I type this, I’m seated at my home computer, with my right arm immobilised in a sling again, and am drugged up to the eyeballs on various pain killers, trying to lead some semblance of a normal life.
As I said in a message to one of my colleagues yesterday, when she asked how I was feeling:
“….. The painkillers take the edge off things, but I still feel very woolly headed – more than normal!”
And add to that, the mere fact that I’ve managed about 6 hours sleep in the past 48 hours, and you can see why I’ve opted to take these past two days off. But that doesn’t stop me feeling guilty because I feel that I’ve dropped my colleagues in the brown smelly stuff, as there is an awful lot of stuff that I am responsible for, apart from doing my obligatory mickey taking!
I guess that there is a positive side – I’ve been able to watch a couple of really good films – Bruce Willis in The Fifth Element and Will Smith in I, Robot. Both were films that I’d bought, but never had chance to sit and watch.
But, being off work, and refusing to watch the crap that masquerades as daytime television, it gave me a damned good excuse to get as comfortable as possible, get the cats settled and watch the films without interruption. (I’d turned my mobile phone off!)
Time to go and spray my shoulder again (yes – it does help being a partial contortionist – especially as I’ve failed in my attempts to train either cat to use an aerosol for me!) Then I’m going to settle down and watch The Mothman Prophecies – with Richard Gere. He’s not an actor I normally like, but from what I’ve been told, it’s a damned good film...
Back when I get chance, and hopefully, I’ll be feeling brighter…
Karen.
Don’t let the b’stards get you down.
A quiet weekend...
Posted by
Karen
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There's nothing like spending a weekend with friends to make you sure that you feel refreshed and ready for work on the Monday. Or not as the case may be. I was fine until I had Flame stand on my bloody hand this morning, whilst I was picking her feet out. Ok - I know that it wasn't intentional, but it hurt like hell, and I've never seen a horse look so offended when I swore.
Still, I guess it could have been a lot worse, and I could have ended up with a broken hand, instead of a badly bruised one. But that doesn't stop me typing, or doing all the other stupid things that I seem to have the ability to do...
Including winding up my other half about the rugby - England got beaten by Wales. But that was my pay back for him taking the mickey out of me, as I support Scotland in the Six Nations (don't ask - it's a long story!)
Suppose I should get on with some w*rk....
Back later, if I get peace and quiet...
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Still, I guess it could have been a lot worse, and I could have ended up with a broken hand, instead of a badly bruised one. But that doesn't stop me typing, or doing all the other stupid things that I seem to have the ability to do...
Including winding up my other half about the rugby - England got beaten by Wales. But that was my pay back for him taking the mickey out of me, as I support Scotland in the Six Nations (don't ask - it's a long story!)
Suppose I should get on with some w*rk....
Back later, if I get peace and quiet...
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Some pertinent advice....
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Karen
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Couldn't resist these - and White Wolf - you're warped!!!
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle.
From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staringat her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
Now for the joke:
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.
As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he would like to pay for his treatment. She asked if he had health insurance.
He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked if he had money in the bank.
He replied, "No money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied," Send the bill to my brother-in-law"
Back when I get peace and quiet!
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle.
From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staringat her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
Now for the joke:
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.
As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he would like to pay for his treatment. She asked if he had health insurance.
He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked if he had money in the bank.
He replied, "No money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied," Send the bill to my brother-in-law"
Back when I get peace and quiet!
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
Just something to brighten a dreary Monday
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Karen
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I make no apologies for these next two jokes - they were sent to me by an American friend!
During a recent campaign tour of the Apache Nation in the state of New Mexico, President George W. Bush said that he planned to increase every Native American's income by $40,000 a year.
The President refused repeated requests for details of his plan. However, he also told the Apaches that during his career as Governor of Texas, he signed YES 9,637 times on Indian issues that reach his desk for approval.
Before his departure, the Apache Tribe presented the President with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian Name, 'Walking Eagle'.
After the President's departure on Air Force One, tribal officials explained to the news media that 'Walking Eagle' is the name given to a bird so full of shit that it can't fly.
And the next joke:
Bush, Cheney and Rumsfield are together on Air Force One.
Bush says, "If I dropped a $1,000 bill out the window I would make someone very happy."
Cheney says, "If I dropped 10 $100 bills out the window I would make 10 people very happy."
Rumsfield says, "If I dropped 100 $10 bills out the window I would make 100 people very happy."
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "Big shots ! If I dropped the three of them out the window I would make 56 million people very happy."
Suppose I should look like I'm doing some work...
Back later - if I get chance.
Karen.
Don't the b'stards get you down.
During a recent campaign tour of the Apache Nation in the state of New Mexico, President George W. Bush said that he planned to increase every Native American's income by $40,000 a year.
The President refused repeated requests for details of his plan. However, he also told the Apaches that during his career as Governor of Texas, he signed YES 9,637 times on Indian issues that reach his desk for approval.
Before his departure, the Apache Tribe presented the President with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian Name, 'Walking Eagle'.
After the President's departure on Air Force One, tribal officials explained to the news media that 'Walking Eagle' is the name given to a bird so full of shit that it can't fly.
And the next joke:
Bush, Cheney and Rumsfield are together on Air Force One.
Bush says, "If I dropped a $1,000 bill out the window I would make someone very happy."
Cheney says, "If I dropped 10 $100 bills out the window I would make 10 people very happy."
Rumsfield says, "If I dropped 100 $10 bills out the window I would make 100 people very happy."
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "Big shots ! If I dropped the three of them out the window I would make 56 million people very happy."
Suppose I should look like I'm doing some work...
Back later - if I get chance.
Karen.
Don't the b'stards get you down.
A good weekend (Nothing else matters)
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Karen
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This weekend has been far more fun than I'd expected it to be.. Simply because I was able to spend time with people I care about, and have a damned good time in the process!
Saturday, Mum and I went shopping to Merry Hill (a rather over-rated shopping centre in my opinion!) and then the real fun started on Saturday night... My friend Julian had invited me to an Erasure night at a club he regularly goes to, and told me to expect a shock when I saw him...
Shock was an understatement. He'd dyed his dark hair a startling white blond (think Billy Idol / Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer hair colour.) The disturbing thing was, he looked bloody good. But, that wasn't the only trick up his sleeve...
It turned out that this party was a Karoke party, and if you were dressed up as either Andy Bell, or Vince Clarke then you had to sing an Erasure track. Ok - no problem there, as Julian's got quite a good voice. The problem came when he decided that he would do Erasure's Abba cover - Voulez Vous, and required a singing partner.
No prizes for guessing who he roped in for that. Yep. Muggins. I will admit, I was more than a little apprehensive, but in the end thought "what the hell" and went for it.
Ok - I probably made a real prat of myself, but I was of the opinion that if I could cope with doing a presentation at the conference, I could cope with making an idiot of myself with a good mate.
I don't know what time I got to bed, but I seem to recall that it was the early (or not so early) hours of this morning... And I'd promised Mum that I'd take her to a garden centre at Wychbold, near Droitwich!
Thankfully, I'd not drunk that much, and got home in time to pick Mum up and take her to Webbs, as I'd promised. As I drove home, I was listening to Kerrang! on the radio, and they plated one of the few Metallica songs that I really like: -
Nothing Else MattersSo close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters
For some reason, this song really speaks to a part of me that few people (other than those who've know me more years than any of us like to admit to) know even exists in me. Ok - I know that I appear sarcastic, and malevolent, but appearances can be very deceiving..
But all the same, if you don't like claws, don't pull a tiger's tail!
Time to call it quits - I've got to be up at 04:15 tomorrow morning to deal with Flame - I'm still trying to get used to the way that she likes to play about!
Back tomorrow.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Saturday, Mum and I went shopping to Merry Hill (a rather over-rated shopping centre in my opinion!) and then the real fun started on Saturday night... My friend Julian had invited me to an Erasure night at a club he regularly goes to, and told me to expect a shock when I saw him...
Shock was an understatement. He'd dyed his dark hair a startling white blond (think Billy Idol / Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer hair colour.) The disturbing thing was, he looked bloody good. But, that wasn't the only trick up his sleeve...
It turned out that this party was a Karoke party, and if you were dressed up as either Andy Bell, or Vince Clarke then you had to sing an Erasure track. Ok - no problem there, as Julian's got quite a good voice. The problem came when he decided that he would do Erasure's Abba cover - Voulez Vous, and required a singing partner.
No prizes for guessing who he roped in for that. Yep. Muggins. I will admit, I was more than a little apprehensive, but in the end thought "what the hell" and went for it.
Ok - I probably made a real prat of myself, but I was of the opinion that if I could cope with doing a presentation at the conference, I could cope with making an idiot of myself with a good mate.
I don't know what time I got to bed, but I seem to recall that it was the early (or not so early) hours of this morning... And I'd promised Mum that I'd take her to a garden centre at Wychbold, near Droitwich!
Thankfully, I'd not drunk that much, and got home in time to pick Mum up and take her to Webbs, as I'd promised. As I drove home, I was listening to Kerrang! on the radio, and they plated one of the few Metallica songs that I really like: -
Nothing Else MattersSo close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters
For some reason, this song really speaks to a part of me that few people (other than those who've know me more years than any of us like to admit to) know even exists in me. Ok - I know that I appear sarcastic, and malevolent, but appearances can be very deceiving..
But all the same, if you don't like claws, don't pull a tiger's tail!
Time to call it quits - I've got to be up at 04:15 tomorrow morning to deal with Flame - I'm still trying to get used to the way that she likes to play about!
Back tomorrow.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Coping with a migrane, and other things...
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Karen
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I know that it's been a few days since I've posted anything to my blog, but this was because I've been ill with the bane of my existence - migrane. For those people lucky enough to avoid suffering from this, let me try and give an insight into the pain and anguish that it can cause.
Imagine one side of your head is being crushed in a vice. Then, add to that pain visual disturbance that would make a drug induced hallucination seem like a Disney film. On top of that, add in nausea, which makes you feel like you're going to vomit if you move too quickly.
That was what I was trying to work though on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. My line manager was a real angel, and made sure that I managed to get quiet a bit of time away from my computer screen, as he admitted that he knew what it was like to suffer from migraine himself.
And I wasn't helped by smart ass comments like "why aren't you wearing your glasses? Surely you'd be better off with them than wearing your contact lenses."
Congratulations. It doesn't matter what I wear to try and improve my eyesight - the problem lies in my skull - something along the lines of the blood vessels in the brain constricting, and causing the pain. Or something like that.
Including the one idiot on Friday who was unwise enough to argue with me. He claimed that he'd ordered a specific tyre pattern, and we'd sent the wrong one. There was only one problem with that. The person who'd placed the order has far more experience than anyone of us in the office, and if it had been me, I could have understood it, as I was spaced out of my brain on various painkillers on Thursday, in an attempt to kill the migraine.
Ok - here's a little background on this. This idiot called me, and started screaming that the wrong tyres had been ordered at our end, and that he needed these tyres for a customer who was going to Europe on Saturday morning. (Aren't they always?!)
Unfortunately for the moron at the end of the 'phone, he'd picked the worst time to call me, as my head was pounding. He tried to get me to agree to the same day delivery, but I don't think he'd banked on dealing with a bad tempered, stubborn female.
I refused to give in on the same day delivery, but gave him the following options, to prove that I wasn't being awkward. (Well, no more than normal!)
* Delivery on Monday
* He collected the tyres from the warehouse
"I'll get back to you" was the response. Fine with me, as I could almost guarantee that it wouldn't be me that he'd speak to... Needless to say, the twerp called back and spoke to one of the others in the department, and said that the Monday delivery would be fine. What a surprise.
But, I will admit to feeling bight enough to escape out on Friday night with one of the girls... We went to a pub that I have a real soft spot for - The Blue Lias at Stockton. We sat and talked about things that had really wound the pair of us up over the past couple of weeks, things that were of interest to the pair of us, our respective families and of course, the office gossip.
Unfortunately, it looks like I'm about to become part of the office gossip, as one or two of the people who were at the post conference piss up are starting to jump to conclusions along the lines of 2 + 2 = 22. Thankfully, forewarned is forearmed as they say, and no doubt there'll be sly digs, and not so subtle questions about what happened.
Time to call this entry quits - I want a peaceful bath - without furry intervention!
Back later, if I feel up to it.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Imagine one side of your head is being crushed in a vice. Then, add to that pain visual disturbance that would make a drug induced hallucination seem like a Disney film. On top of that, add in nausea, which makes you feel like you're going to vomit if you move too quickly.
That was what I was trying to work though on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. My line manager was a real angel, and made sure that I managed to get quiet a bit of time away from my computer screen, as he admitted that he knew what it was like to suffer from migraine himself.
And I wasn't helped by smart ass comments like "why aren't you wearing your glasses? Surely you'd be better off with them than wearing your contact lenses."
Congratulations. It doesn't matter what I wear to try and improve my eyesight - the problem lies in my skull - something along the lines of the blood vessels in the brain constricting, and causing the pain. Or something like that.
Including the one idiot on Friday who was unwise enough to argue with me. He claimed that he'd ordered a specific tyre pattern, and we'd sent the wrong one. There was only one problem with that. The person who'd placed the order has far more experience than anyone of us in the office, and if it had been me, I could have understood it, as I was spaced out of my brain on various painkillers on Thursday, in an attempt to kill the migraine.
Ok - here's a little background on this. This idiot called me, and started screaming that the wrong tyres had been ordered at our end, and that he needed these tyres for a customer who was going to Europe on Saturday morning. (Aren't they always?!)
Unfortunately for the moron at the end of the 'phone, he'd picked the worst time to call me, as my head was pounding. He tried to get me to agree to the same day delivery, but I don't think he'd banked on dealing with a bad tempered, stubborn female.
I refused to give in on the same day delivery, but gave him the following options, to prove that I wasn't being awkward. (Well, no more than normal!)
* Delivery on Monday
* He collected the tyres from the warehouse
"I'll get back to you" was the response. Fine with me, as I could almost guarantee that it wouldn't be me that he'd speak to... Needless to say, the twerp called back and spoke to one of the others in the department, and said that the Monday delivery would be fine. What a surprise.
But, I will admit to feeling bight enough to escape out on Friday night with one of the girls... We went to a pub that I have a real soft spot for - The Blue Lias at Stockton. We sat and talked about things that had really wound the pair of us up over the past couple of weeks, things that were of interest to the pair of us, our respective families and of course, the office gossip.
Unfortunately, it looks like I'm about to become part of the office gossip, as one or two of the people who were at the post conference piss up are starting to jump to conclusions along the lines of 2 + 2 = 22. Thankfully, forewarned is forearmed as they say, and no doubt there'll be sly digs, and not so subtle questions about what happened.
Time to call this entry quits - I want a peaceful bath - without furry intervention!
Back later, if I feel up to it.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Just something to make the day go by...
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Karen
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I make no apologies for this, especially given my personal feelings on the US president…
Wouldn’t it be great to turn on the TV and hear President Bush give the following speech?
My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
It is now time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries that have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. By the way Palestinians, we are no longer going to restrain Israel!
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to our neighbours. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple of extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. We are sick and tired of the one-way highway. It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin'."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Go to Hell.
God Bless America.
Thank you and good night.
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I know that there will be people who will be screaming blue murder, because I'm taking the mickey out of the US president, but I make no apologies for this. If I could find something that poked fun at the British political system, I would get it posted onto my blog. And no, this isn't something that a Brit sent to me - this came in from the States. And all that remains for me to say is....
Many thanks for the jokes big guy...
Suppose I'd better look like I'm doing some work...
Back later, if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Wouldn’t it be great to turn on the TV and hear President Bush give the following speech?
My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
It is now time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries that have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. By the way Palestinians, we are no longer going to restrain Israel!
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to our neighbours. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple of extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. We are sick and tired of the one-way highway. It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin'."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Go to Hell.
God Bless America.
Thank you and good night.
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I know that there will be people who will be screaming blue murder, because I'm taking the mickey out of the US president, but I make no apologies for this. If I could find something that poked fun at the British political system, I would get it posted onto my blog. And no, this isn't something that a Brit sent to me - this came in from the States. And all that remains for me to say is....
Many thanks for the jokes big guy...
Suppose I'd better look like I'm doing some work...
Back later, if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Woah - what we have here is sense of humour failure...
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Karen
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Why can't people be more open minded? All I got today was comments about me being cuddled by a fella at the post conference piss up. The truth of the matter is, I was stone cold sober, as I was driving, and was absolutely freezing whilst I was walking up the drive at Warwick castle, and the fella in question was a real gent and acted as a wind break for me.
As we walked through the Kingmaker exhibit, the floor was rather uneven, and some of the waxworks were real people, who seemed to delight in making people jump. I had one of them jump out at me, and it was only because the fella I was with grabbed hold of me, that I prevented myself from getting injured, or falling flat on my face.
Mind you, he didn't object, as he jokingly said that he'd 'pulled.' (I knew damned well he was married and he knew that I was attached and that my partner was also at the do, so there was absolutely nothing in it.)
The comments were just enough to irritate me, and I will admit, it was one of the rare occasions that I was glad of managerial intervention. My line manager stepped into the fray, and told the responsible people to cut the comments, otherwise he wouldn't be held responsible if I decided to lay a few tales to rest.
But that didn't stop the subtle hints, and just to make matters more awkward for me, the fella whom had been my 'escort' for want of a better term, was in the office. He was totally professional and if he heard the comments, didn't rise to the bait. Well - not that he showed, anyway!
What makes me say that? Simple. He caught up with me in the canteen area, where I was making myself a coffee, and asked if the interest in our being together on Tuesday night was normal. I nodded, and I guess that he must have realised that I was heartily sick of all the comments / nudges and winks, because he gave me a lovely cuddle, and told me not to worry.
It turned out, after I'd left the rest of the party-goers and headed for home, he'd spoken to my partner (or significant other - the choice of phrase depends on my mood!) and elaborated on the plan that the pair of us had hatched.
It basically boiled down to the fact that not many people at the office know him, and as I'm a newbie (so to speak), we were going to give all the office mob something to talk about - even though absolutely nothing happened!
To be honest, the sense of humour failure was mine - but thankfully, there were people willing to make me laugh, and act as unwilling scratching posts for my claws this afternoon. My poor maligned line manager being one of them.
He started taking the mickey out of one of the other girls, and I decided to start flexing the claws again, as I'd been rather subdued for a while... I gave her the idea that she could refuse to pick up his lunch for him when she went out for lunch, and that was met with a howl of anguish, and the comment:
"Ok, Karen, put the claws away. I didn't mean it."
That just made me laugh, but it was soon to be my turn to get on the receiving end of the waspish sense of humor that my line manager seems to have. But, instead of reacting verbally, I just waited to get a more pertinent type of revenge.
I waited until he was leaning back from his computer, stretching his back, and then took careful aim, and threw my lavender stress ball, so that it bounced off the keyboard and onto his desk.
The look of surprise was well worth it, as I'd never given any indication that I could throw as accurately as that. However, his accuracy wasn't as good as mine and he missed the return shot at me by a country mile. Mind you - I made damned sure of that - I ducked!
A few minutes later, it was time for me to escape, and it was with great hilarity that I left, as my line manager was too embarassed by the missed shot to even say anything to me, apart from wishing me a good weekend, and that he'd see me on Monday...
Suppose I'd better call this entry quits - I've got to get the cats sorted for the night.
Back when I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
As we walked through the Kingmaker exhibit, the floor was rather uneven, and some of the waxworks were real people, who seemed to delight in making people jump. I had one of them jump out at me, and it was only because the fella I was with grabbed hold of me, that I prevented myself from getting injured, or falling flat on my face.
Mind you, he didn't object, as he jokingly said that he'd 'pulled.' (I knew damned well he was married and he knew that I was attached and that my partner was also at the do, so there was absolutely nothing in it.)
The comments were just enough to irritate me, and I will admit, it was one of the rare occasions that I was glad of managerial intervention. My line manager stepped into the fray, and told the responsible people to cut the comments, otherwise he wouldn't be held responsible if I decided to lay a few tales to rest.
But that didn't stop the subtle hints, and just to make matters more awkward for me, the fella whom had been my 'escort' for want of a better term, was in the office. He was totally professional and if he heard the comments, didn't rise to the bait. Well - not that he showed, anyway!
What makes me say that? Simple. He caught up with me in the canteen area, where I was making myself a coffee, and asked if the interest in our being together on Tuesday night was normal. I nodded, and I guess that he must have realised that I was heartily sick of all the comments / nudges and winks, because he gave me a lovely cuddle, and told me not to worry.
It turned out, after I'd left the rest of the party-goers and headed for home, he'd spoken to my partner (or significant other - the choice of phrase depends on my mood!) and elaborated on the plan that the pair of us had hatched.
It basically boiled down to the fact that not many people at the office know him, and as I'm a newbie (so to speak), we were going to give all the office mob something to talk about - even though absolutely nothing happened!
To be honest, the sense of humour failure was mine - but thankfully, there were people willing to make me laugh, and act as unwilling scratching posts for my claws this afternoon. My poor maligned line manager being one of them.
He started taking the mickey out of one of the other girls, and I decided to start flexing the claws again, as I'd been rather subdued for a while... I gave her the idea that she could refuse to pick up his lunch for him when she went out for lunch, and that was met with a howl of anguish, and the comment:
"Ok, Karen, put the claws away. I didn't mean it."
That just made me laugh, but it was soon to be my turn to get on the receiving end of the waspish sense of humor that my line manager seems to have. But, instead of reacting verbally, I just waited to get a more pertinent type of revenge.
I waited until he was leaning back from his computer, stretching his back, and then took careful aim, and threw my lavender stress ball, so that it bounced off the keyboard and onto his desk.
The look of surprise was well worth it, as I'd never given any indication that I could throw as accurately as that. However, his accuracy wasn't as good as mine and he missed the return shot at me by a country mile. Mind you - I made damned sure of that - I ducked!
A few minutes later, it was time for me to escape, and it was with great hilarity that I left, as my line manager was too embarassed by the missed shot to even say anything to me, apart from wishing me a good weekend, and that he'd see me on Monday...
Suppose I'd better call this entry quits - I've got to get the cats sorted for the night.
Back when I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
There’s something about just shooting the breeze…
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Karen
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There's something to be said about going out after work with a couple of work mates, and sitting shooting the breeze, knowing that what you say won't be taken out of context or taken any further the table that you're seated at.
It started out as a joke between me and one of the other girls that I work with. We'd arranged to buzz off to a pub after work for a quiet drink and a chat, and as a joke, asked one of the guys that we worked with.
To be honest, I was rather sceptical about his participation, and as he was finishing after the pair of us, I gave him my mobile number with the request that he called me to make sure that we were still at the pub.
Well, much to my amazement, about an hour or so after we'd gotten to the pub, my 'phone rang, and my colleague said that he was en-route, and would join us in the pub.
If I'm brutally honest, I think it did me the world of good, as I was able to talk to people I like and respect, knowing full well that what I said would go no further. But I also leant more about the people I work with, and more importantly, how people in my department perceived me.
The fella who met us at the pub was part of the team that was doing the presentation on Tuesday, and he said that both he and my line manager had been really concerned about me, as I was paler than they'd ever seen me, and it was only because I was wearing a dark coloured shirt that I managed to get any colour in my face.
"To be honest, I was wondering if I was going to need a shovel, you looked like you were absolutely shitting it. But you really proved that you've got great strength of character - and that's been noted by the powers that be."
That really surprised me. Yes - I will admit to being terrified, but to have it open stated that I looked terrified really surprised me. Mind you, I wasn't really taking much notice of how I looked when I nipped into the ladies loo to change into my t-shirt!
We then got talking about other things, and I finally admitted the reason why I'd been so keen to get out tonight. Simply because talking to my ex had upset me more than I'd realised. Or, more to the point, it had upset me more than I'd been willing to admit to myself.
The more the three of us talked, the happier I became, and by the end of the evening, I was even getting the claws out, and having a quick swipe at people.
But, the most important thing for me, was the fact that the three of us have gotten to know each other slightly better, and have said that we'll have to go out again after work, and the agreement that we keep what is discussed between the three of us will be our bond.
Time to call this entry quits - I need my ugly sleep as I've got to be up early tomorrow morning.
Back tomorrow - if I get the peace and quiet at work!
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
It started out as a joke between me and one of the other girls that I work with. We'd arranged to buzz off to a pub after work for a quiet drink and a chat, and as a joke, asked one of the guys that we worked with.
To be honest, I was rather sceptical about his participation, and as he was finishing after the pair of us, I gave him my mobile number with the request that he called me to make sure that we were still at the pub.
Well, much to my amazement, about an hour or so after we'd gotten to the pub, my 'phone rang, and my colleague said that he was en-route, and would join us in the pub.
If I'm brutally honest, I think it did me the world of good, as I was able to talk to people I like and respect, knowing full well that what I said would go no further. But I also leant more about the people I work with, and more importantly, how people in my department perceived me.
The fella who met us at the pub was part of the team that was doing the presentation on Tuesday, and he said that both he and my line manager had been really concerned about me, as I was paler than they'd ever seen me, and it was only because I was wearing a dark coloured shirt that I managed to get any colour in my face.
"To be honest, I was wondering if I was going to need a shovel, you looked like you were absolutely shitting it. But you really proved that you've got great strength of character - and that's been noted by the powers that be."
That really surprised me. Yes - I will admit to being terrified, but to have it open stated that I looked terrified really surprised me. Mind you, I wasn't really taking much notice of how I looked when I nipped into the ladies loo to change into my t-shirt!
We then got talking about other things, and I finally admitted the reason why I'd been so keen to get out tonight. Simply because talking to my ex had upset me more than I'd realised. Or, more to the point, it had upset me more than I'd been willing to admit to myself.
The more the three of us talked, the happier I became, and by the end of the evening, I was even getting the claws out, and having a quick swipe at people.
But, the most important thing for me, was the fact that the three of us have gotten to know each other slightly better, and have said that we'll have to go out again after work, and the agreement that we keep what is discussed between the three of us will be our bond.
Time to call this entry quits - I need my ugly sleep as I've got to be up early tomorrow morning.
Back tomorrow - if I get the peace and quiet at work!
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Busted... And still smiling - but only just.
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Karen
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Just one of the perils of being half asleep and sitting where I do (with my back to the door.) I'd got Solitaire running before I'd officially started work and me being dopey, I'd forgotten to close the game. It just my luck, as I was searching for a particular screen my line manager walked in, and spotted the offending game.
The first I knew of it, was when he said "Solitaire Karen? I'm very disappointed." Luckily for me, I was able to talk my way out of it, but it's made me realise that I need to be that much more careful - especially when I'm updating my blog!
I guessed that he wasn't too unhappy with me as he'd been teasing me, because I'm wearing my glasses. I will admit to being slightly miffed, but as I was taking the mickey out of him yesterday, I guess that I shouldn't complain too much.
The worst part (for me) is answering the phone. Simply because me being lazy, I use a headset, as that gives me both hands free to type with (but it doesn't improve my spelling!) But it does make life rather uncomfortable on my head, as my headset squashes the arms of my glasses into the side of my head.
But that's not the only thing that's annoying me today. I got caught a real beauty at lunchtime. My mobile rang, and me being not quite with it, having been engrossed in my book, I answered it.
It was the worst thing I could have done, as it was my ex. He was all sickly sweet, asking how I was, and I will admit, I felt really tempted to put the 'phone down on him. But, for some reason, pity stayed my hand, and I spoke to him.
But I was really surprised at myself - I felt like I was taking to a total stranger - any emotions that I may have had for him, seem to have vanished like the early morning mists. I got the impression that he wasn't too happy, and he asked why I sounded so disinterested.
To be honest, I wasn't that bothered what he thought, and only bristled very slightly when he asked if I was seeing anyone. I am, but what irritated me was the way that he seemed to insinuate that I was being nasty and flaunting my new relationship.
So, rather than risk an argument, I politely told him that I was coming to the end of my lunch break, and needed to get back to my desk. (I was actually only halfway through my lunch break, but I was damned if I was going to let him waste any more of my free time!)
Once I'd gotten off the 'phone, I settled back down to read my book. I'm currently reading a non-fiction book, about the life of Mary Queen of Scots called My Heart is My Own. It's really well written, and I will admit, I'm quite enjoying it. But, I'm still not encouraged enough to go and study history!
I suppose I'd better get on with some work...
Back later - if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
The first I knew of it, was when he said "Solitaire Karen? I'm very disappointed." Luckily for me, I was able to talk my way out of it, but it's made me realise that I need to be that much more careful - especially when I'm updating my blog!
I guessed that he wasn't too unhappy with me as he'd been teasing me, because I'm wearing my glasses. I will admit to being slightly miffed, but as I was taking the mickey out of him yesterday, I guess that I shouldn't complain too much.
The worst part (for me) is answering the phone. Simply because me being lazy, I use a headset, as that gives me both hands free to type with (but it doesn't improve my spelling!) But it does make life rather uncomfortable on my head, as my headset squashes the arms of my glasses into the side of my head.
But that's not the only thing that's annoying me today. I got caught a real beauty at lunchtime. My mobile rang, and me being not quite with it, having been engrossed in my book, I answered it.
It was the worst thing I could have done, as it was my ex. He was all sickly sweet, asking how I was, and I will admit, I felt really tempted to put the 'phone down on him. But, for some reason, pity stayed my hand, and I spoke to him.
But I was really surprised at myself - I felt like I was taking to a total stranger - any emotions that I may have had for him, seem to have vanished like the early morning mists. I got the impression that he wasn't too happy, and he asked why I sounded so disinterested.
To be honest, I wasn't that bothered what he thought, and only bristled very slightly when he asked if I was seeing anyone. I am, but what irritated me was the way that he seemed to insinuate that I was being nasty and flaunting my new relationship.
So, rather than risk an argument, I politely told him that I was coming to the end of my lunch break, and needed to get back to my desk. (I was actually only halfway through my lunch break, but I was damned if I was going to let him waste any more of my free time!)
Once I'd gotten off the 'phone, I settled back down to read my book. I'm currently reading a non-fiction book, about the life of Mary Queen of Scots called My Heart is My Own. It's really well written, and I will admit, I'm quite enjoying it. But, I'm still not encouraged enough to go and study history!
I suppose I'd better get on with some work...
Back later - if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
The day after the conference...
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And oh my God, are there some sore heads in the office. Mine isn't one of them, but I will admit to only getting an hour's sleep last night... I got home just after midnight, and was too wired to sleep, so that's the reason for the lack of sleep. (Well, one that I'm sticking with, anyway!)
I've also got a rotten headache to boot, as my eyes are really suffering. My own fault really, I'm too vain to wear my glasses instead of my contact lenses.
Having said that though, it's been quiet enjoyable, watching the rest of my colleagues suffering - including my line manager - who has been very subdued, due to the size of his hangover. (And yes, I am malevolent enough to take great glee in that fact!)
But he was still bright enough to have a quick pop at me, when I said that I'd gotten very little sleep. I knew he wasn't with it enough to fight back when I threatened to flick water over him, in an attempt to stop him falling asleep at his desk!
I guess that I should talk a bit about the conference... It was quite good, but I will admit, I wasn't really able to enjoy the morning, as I was really wound up about the presentation that I was going to do in the afternoon.
Lunch was very tasty - (the little bit that I managed to eat!), and the afternoon session was quite good fun. Those of us that were at the conference changed into t-shirts, with a motto that said:
A contact centre agent is for life - not just for Christmas
I've also got a rotten headache to boot, as my eyes are really suffering. My own fault really, I'm too vain to wear my glasses instead of my contact lenses.
Having said that though, it's been quiet enjoyable, watching the rest of my colleagues suffering - including my line manager - who has been very subdued, due to the size of his hangover. (And yes, I am malevolent enough to take great glee in that fact!)
But he was still bright enough to have a quick pop at me, when I said that I'd gotten very little sleep. I knew he wasn't with it enough to fight back when I threatened to flick water over him, in an attempt to stop him falling asleep at his desk!
I guess that I should talk a bit about the conference... It was quite good, but I will admit, I wasn't really able to enjoy the morning, as I was really wound up about the presentation that I was going to do in the afternoon.
Lunch was very tasty - (the little bit that I managed to eat!), and the afternoon session was quite good fun. Those of us that were at the conference changed into t-shirts, with a motto that said:
A contact centre agent is for life - not just for Christmas
on the front, and our first initial and surname on the back, with 05 (a reference to it being the 2005 conference) underneath. They looked really good, and we've all agreed to wear them the first Friday of the month, in order to raise money for the company's selected charity.
The presentation itself went quite well, and I will admit, my colleagues on the stand were a real help, giving me visual signals of encouragement (such as thumbs up) when I got the visual cue from the video that was part of the presentation.
But, I guess the real crux of the matter was the fact that I didn't chicken out,which I get the feeling that my line manager was worried I'd do. Simply because I was really scared in the morning, and could just about manage to do a final run through.
Afterwards, he admitted that he'd been worried that I would freak out and refuse to do the presentation due to my nerves, and that he had been quite willing to step in and help me if I'd felt too overwhelmed.
However, what he didn't realise was that I was determined to overcome my nerves, and once I'd got the first bit over and done with, I was relatively happy. Ok - I'll re-phrase that. Happier than I was in the morning!
The real fun was in the evening. We ended up going to Warwick Castle, and had to stand in the cold, listening to some idiot in armour drivelling on about the history of the castle. Normally I'm fairly interested, but when I'm freezing cold and hungry to boot, there's not much point in trying to get my interest.
The food wasn't really anything to write home about - but the entertainment was good in places, and missed the target in others. But for me, the best part was getting to know my colleagues better, and share a few jokes with like minded people... Including having a quick dig at my line manager!
As I've said in previous posts, I was determined to stop him calling me by his chosen nickname for me... So, last night, I jokingly asked him not to call me "Karen" all the time, as I always wondered what I'd done wrong.
His response was to complain that I was always changing my mind, ("typical bloody female") and he didn't know what the hell he could call me! I started laughing, and suggested "Kaz." He agreed, and said that this would be the last change, otherwise he'd start calling me something truly unrepeatable (in polite company, anyway!)
Ah well, time to call it quits - it's time for me to log off and bog off.
Back later (if my headache has cleared)...
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Feeling awful... And I think I know why....
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No, I haven't said anything that I may regret. Yet. (There's still the evening 'do' to get through so I'll try to avoid tempting the Fates like that!)
The reason I'm feeling awful is the fact that I discovered that I am a rotten traveler when I'm uptight or worried about something. Crazy, I know, especially when you consider all the thousands of miles that I must have traveled over the years....
As you know from my last post, I was helping to set the stand up for my department's presentation, and that involved traveling. Not a good move, as I wasn't feeling too good anyway - I'd got a rotten headache even before I left the office, and spent the outward journey as a quiet passenger.
Once at site, I brightened up, even to the extent of doing a little bit of baiting, much to the amusement of one of my colleagues who jokingly called me Tiger. Ok - I can cope with that, as I have a real soft spot for the big stripy pussy cats.
The fun started when I was heading back to the office. I settled into the back seat of the car, and that was it. I started to feel really ill. My traveling companions were chatting, and it was soon noted that I was rather quiet.
Normally, if I get asked if I'm ok when I'm in a car, I make a joke and say that I'm "checking my eyelids for light leaks" or something like that. This time, I was really ropy, and just quietly admitted that I wasn't very good when it came to traveling in the back of a car.
My colleagues were really sweet, and said that I should have said something before, and I could have sat in the front. Very commendable, but given how I was feeling, the best thing I could do was close my eyes and snuggle down into my heavy winter coat - to the extent that all you could see of my face was the brow of my nose and my eyes.
Thankfully, the trip wasn't that long, and I was able to get out of the car, and stretch my legs. But I still felt rotten, and managed to avoid the very kind offer of a lift to where Mum works, on the grounds that the last thing I wanted to do was spend any more time in an unfamiliar car.
Don't get me wrong, the person who was driving was very steady - fast, but steady. Speed doesn't really bother me, but there was just something that I wasn't comfortable with, and I guess that it's because that I'm really wound up about this presentation.
Luckily for me, I'm going to be driving to the conference tomorrow, so I'll be too concerned with making sure that I get myself and the car to the site in one piece, so I hopefully won't have time to get travel sick.
Slightly change of topic now - Mum and I have booked our break to the Isle of Wight. We've booked a four night break at the St Maur hotel in Ventnor (see http://www.stmaur.co.uk/index.html) for full details. Now all I have to do is go and see the Doctor to get myself sorted out for the ferry!
Suppose I should log off and bog off. I want to get a decent night's sleep so that at least I can go to the conference semi-relaxed.
Back on Wednesday....
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
The reason I'm feeling awful is the fact that I discovered that I am a rotten traveler when I'm uptight or worried about something. Crazy, I know, especially when you consider all the thousands of miles that I must have traveled over the years....
As you know from my last post, I was helping to set the stand up for my department's presentation, and that involved traveling. Not a good move, as I wasn't feeling too good anyway - I'd got a rotten headache even before I left the office, and spent the outward journey as a quiet passenger.
Once at site, I brightened up, even to the extent of doing a little bit of baiting, much to the amusement of one of my colleagues who jokingly called me Tiger. Ok - I can cope with that, as I have a real soft spot for the big stripy pussy cats.
The fun started when I was heading back to the office. I settled into the back seat of the car, and that was it. I started to feel really ill. My traveling companions were chatting, and it was soon noted that I was rather quiet.
Normally, if I get asked if I'm ok when I'm in a car, I make a joke and say that I'm "checking my eyelids for light leaks" or something like that. This time, I was really ropy, and just quietly admitted that I wasn't very good when it came to traveling in the back of a car.
My colleagues were really sweet, and said that I should have said something before, and I could have sat in the front. Very commendable, but given how I was feeling, the best thing I could do was close my eyes and snuggle down into my heavy winter coat - to the extent that all you could see of my face was the brow of my nose and my eyes.
Thankfully, the trip wasn't that long, and I was able to get out of the car, and stretch my legs. But I still felt rotten, and managed to avoid the very kind offer of a lift to where Mum works, on the grounds that the last thing I wanted to do was spend any more time in an unfamiliar car.
Don't get me wrong, the person who was driving was very steady - fast, but steady. Speed doesn't really bother me, but there was just something that I wasn't comfortable with, and I guess that it's because that I'm really wound up about this presentation.
Luckily for me, I'm going to be driving to the conference tomorrow, so I'll be too concerned with making sure that I get myself and the car to the site in one piece, so I hopefully won't have time to get travel sick.
Slightly change of topic now - Mum and I have booked our break to the Isle of Wight. We've booked a four night break at the St Maur hotel in Ventnor (see http://www.stmaur.co.uk/index.html) for full details. Now all I have to do is go and see the Doctor to get myself sorted out for the ferry!
Suppose I should log off and bog off. I want to get a decent night's sleep so that at least I can go to the conference semi-relaxed.
Back on Wednesday....
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Getting over the weekend...
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Karen
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I had a quiet weekend, doing very little - apart from getting my hair streaked. Instead of going for the normal blonde, I've opted for red streaks. Not a vivid red, but a subtle dark red.
To be honest, I was quite apprehensive, as I'd got horrible visions of it going wrong, but when it was done, the result was really surprising. Far from being the vivid red that I'd feared the streaks would be (as the colourant was a bright red colour), they're quite subtle, and you've got to get me in decent light to see them.
I've also managed to achieve a miracle. I've stopped my line manager from calling me by an "nickname" of sorts, my surname with a "Y" added on the end. Admittedly, I did drop myself in it rather a long way, and caused a lot of hilarity in the office, as I was aiming at a colleague, who was encouraging the use of the hated "nickname". Instead of me saying to my colleague "Shut your trap.... " I got the name wrong.
Thankfully, my line manager has taken it in good humour, and admitted that he hadn't actually heard the comment. How he failed to do so is beyond me, but I was quite grateful. It's also had the additional benefit that I'm now just called "Karen" instead of anything else!
So, now my next "task" is to get a new nickname established, as most of the people who know me call me "Kaz", which I will admit, used to annoy me, but as I've gotten older it doesn't bother me so much...
Slightly off topic, this e-mail was sent to me by an American e-mail friend....
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure.....
Coz in Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant, in India they didn't know what 'honest' meant; in Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant; in China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant; in the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant; in South America they didn't know what 'please' meant; and in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.
Oops! Time for me to log off & bog off - I've got to go and help set up the stand for the conference tomorrow.
Back later, if I get the chance....
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
To be honest, I was quite apprehensive, as I'd got horrible visions of it going wrong, but when it was done, the result was really surprising. Far from being the vivid red that I'd feared the streaks would be (as the colourant was a bright red colour), they're quite subtle, and you've got to get me in decent light to see them.
I've also managed to achieve a miracle. I've stopped my line manager from calling me by an "nickname" of sorts, my surname with a "Y" added on the end. Admittedly, I did drop myself in it rather a long way, and caused a lot of hilarity in the office, as I was aiming at a colleague, who was encouraging the use of the hated "nickname". Instead of me saying to my colleague "Shut your trap.... " I got the name wrong.
Thankfully, my line manager has taken it in good humour, and admitted that he hadn't actually heard the comment. How he failed to do so is beyond me, but I was quite grateful. It's also had the additional benefit that I'm now just called "Karen" instead of anything else!
So, now my next "task" is to get a new nickname established, as most of the people who know me call me "Kaz", which I will admit, used to annoy me, but as I've gotten older it doesn't bother me so much...
Slightly off topic, this e-mail was sent to me by an American e-mail friend....
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure.....
Coz in Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant, in India they didn't know what 'honest' meant; in Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant; in China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant; in the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant; in South America they didn't know what 'please' meant; and in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.
Oops! Time for me to log off & bog off - I've got to go and help set up the stand for the conference tomorrow.
Back later, if I get the chance....
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Getting feedback is always nice..
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Karen
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I guess that I'd better respond to a couple of queries that I've received from posters about my blog...
In answer to Brian's comment, am I just sarcastic or is it just an English thing? Well, it depends on who / what I'm aiming at. And it's not because I'm English - I'm half Canadian from Dad's side of the family.
But most of the time, no, I'm not sarcastic - just rather fed up with the stupidity of people who don't seem to have anything better to do apart from complain.
Now onto the latest post / details... It feels like WWIII has broken out in the office. Two of the girls are involved in some silly little dispute that appears to have escalated into out and out war, and this dispute is now in danger of pulling me into the fray.
The worst part (for me, anyway) is the fact that both of them are using me as a shoulder to cry on, and as regular readers of this blog will know, I've got more than enough to keep me on my toes without this being added to my woes.
The mere fact that the probate court is querying the fact that Dad's will hadn't been updated for about 17 years. To be honest, neither he nor Mum thought that there was any need to update their wills as nothing had changed. So, I've got that hanging over me, as well as doing this dratted presentation at the conference.
Despite that, I'm keeping pretty much to my own council at the moment, as I'm currently the main contact for earthmover / industrial tyres in the office, as one of my colleagues is having a couple of days off.
As result, I've been kept pretty busy and have been on the 'phone most of the day. Mind you, I don't mind as the guys I talk to always end up veering off the subject and we end up talking about everything apart from work!
But, having said that, there are times when I wish I wasn't in the office and I'm starting to feel that today is one of them. Simply because I know that sooner or later, a complaint will be made to our departmental line manager, and I'll be hauled in to explain what's been going on.
The worst part is, I don't really want to drop either one in the proverbial, so I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. I know that I should be ready, willing and able to explain what I've seen and heard (not to mention said myself), but I feel that I'll be betraying the confidence of both girls.
Still, I guess that life could be a heck of a lot worse, and I've decided to adopt a new motto:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ "WOO HOO what a ride!""
Back when I get fed up.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
In answer to Brian's comment, am I just sarcastic or is it just an English thing? Well, it depends on who / what I'm aiming at. And it's not because I'm English - I'm half Canadian from Dad's side of the family.
But most of the time, no, I'm not sarcastic - just rather fed up with the stupidity of people who don't seem to have anything better to do apart from complain.
Now onto the latest post / details... It feels like WWIII has broken out in the office. Two of the girls are involved in some silly little dispute that appears to have escalated into out and out war, and this dispute is now in danger of pulling me into the fray.
The worst part (for me, anyway) is the fact that both of them are using me as a shoulder to cry on, and as regular readers of this blog will know, I've got more than enough to keep me on my toes without this being added to my woes.
The mere fact that the probate court is querying the fact that Dad's will hadn't been updated for about 17 years. To be honest, neither he nor Mum thought that there was any need to update their wills as nothing had changed. So, I've got that hanging over me, as well as doing this dratted presentation at the conference.
Despite that, I'm keeping pretty much to my own council at the moment, as I'm currently the main contact for earthmover / industrial tyres in the office, as one of my colleagues is having a couple of days off.
As result, I've been kept pretty busy and have been on the 'phone most of the day. Mind you, I don't mind as the guys I talk to always end up veering off the subject and we end up talking about everything apart from work!
But, having said that, there are times when I wish I wasn't in the office and I'm starting to feel that today is one of them. Simply because I know that sooner or later, a complaint will be made to our departmental line manager, and I'll be hauled in to explain what's been going on.
The worst part is, I don't really want to drop either one in the proverbial, so I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. I know that I should be ready, willing and able to explain what I've seen and heard (not to mention said myself), but I feel that I'll be betraying the confidence of both girls.
Still, I guess that life could be a heck of a lot worse, and I've decided to adopt a new motto:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ "WOO HOO what a ride!""
Back when I get fed up.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Something to make the day easier...
Posted by
Karen
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Just a little thought for those who work in an office....
Prayer for the stressed
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change things I cannot accept and the wisdom to hid the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.
Help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they might be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Help me always to give 100% at work: 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday.
And help me to remember when I am having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up it takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only four to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth.
AMEN.
I know it sounds like all I do is bitch about work, but the office isn't as bad as it could be... There have been some offices that I've had the misfortune to work in, where you felt like you'd done well if you only had one knife hilt in your back!
Ah well, suppose I'd better get on with some w*rk...
Back later if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Prayer for the stressed
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change things I cannot accept and the wisdom to hid the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.
Help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they might be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Help me always to give 100% at work: 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday.
And help me to remember when I am having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up it takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only four to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth.
AMEN.
I know it sounds like all I do is bitch about work, but the office isn't as bad as it could be... There have been some offices that I've had the misfortune to work in, where you felt like you'd done well if you only had one knife hilt in your back!
Ah well, suppose I'd better get on with some w*rk...
Back later if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
After the run through...
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Karen
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Talk about being emotionally drained. The run through was worse than I'd expected! Ok - I know that my colleagues were quite happy with the way I coped, but appearances are tremendously deceiving. Inside, I was little more than a quivering jelly!
My line manager was really helpful, and offered to help me on the first attempt, but I'm the stubborn (or bloody minded - take your pick) type. I will admit, I politely declined the offer of help, as I said that it was easier for me to "fling myself in at the deep end, and get this started - otherwise I'll just wimp out."
It wasn't as bad as I'd feared, and given the fact that I'd only watched the video a couple of times, I don't think I did too badly... Everyone in the group was really supportive, and my line manager was really impressed - he jokingly accused me of reading the script over his shoulder as he prepped it on his laptop!
But the more I ran through the script, the more my nerves started to affect me, and it didn't help the fact that my colleagues were pulling faces at me in an attempt to ease my nerves. In the end, I declined the offer of another run through, on the grounds that all it was doing was making me even more nervous that I already was.
As I left the room with the others, my line manager asked me to wait a couple of minutes, as he wanted to talk to me. I will admit to being even more uptight than I was before, but it transpired that all he wanted to do was re-assure me that if I didn't feel up to doing the presentation at any point, just let him know, and he'd step into the fray for me.
I will admit, I was really grateful for the offer, but said that I would feel that I had let myself and my group members down by wimping out at the last minute. As I type this, I'm beginning to wonder if this time, I've finally bitten off more than I can chew...
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
My line manager was really helpful, and offered to help me on the first attempt, but I'm the stubborn (or bloody minded - take your pick) type. I will admit, I politely declined the offer of help, as I said that it was easier for me to "fling myself in at the deep end, and get this started - otherwise I'll just wimp out."
It wasn't as bad as I'd feared, and given the fact that I'd only watched the video a couple of times, I don't think I did too badly... Everyone in the group was really supportive, and my line manager was really impressed - he jokingly accused me of reading the script over his shoulder as he prepped it on his laptop!
But the more I ran through the script, the more my nerves started to affect me, and it didn't help the fact that my colleagues were pulling faces at me in an attempt to ease my nerves. In the end, I declined the offer of another run through, on the grounds that all it was doing was making me even more nervous that I already was.
As I left the room with the others, my line manager asked me to wait a couple of minutes, as he wanted to talk to me. I will admit to being even more uptight than I was before, but it transpired that all he wanted to do was re-assure me that if I didn't feel up to doing the presentation at any point, just let him know, and he'd step into the fray for me.
I will admit, I was really grateful for the offer, but said that I would feel that I had let myself and my group members down by wimping out at the last minute. As I type this, I'm beginning to wonder if this time, I've finally bitten off more than I can chew...
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Tired, and stuck with a headache.
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Karen
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There's nothing like a headache to make you feel flat. I've had this dratted headache for the past couple of days, and I'm beginning to wonder if it's got something to do with the fact that I'm worried.
No, it's not family or anything like that. This is work related. Me being dumb, I've agreed to speak at the company conference this month, and I'm scared witless. I know people will be saying "for goodness sake, say something!" but it's not as easy as that. I feel like I'm letting down my colleagues & team mates if I back out now.
Hopefully, I'll feel brighter this afternoon - I'm going to be doing a run through, to make sure that everything goes to plan...
Suppose I'd better log off & bog off - I want a few minutes peace and quiet before I get hauled in to do the run through...
Back later - if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
No, it's not family or anything like that. This is work related. Me being dumb, I've agreed to speak at the company conference this month, and I'm scared witless. I know people will be saying "for goodness sake, say something!" but it's not as easy as that. I feel like I'm letting down my colleagues & team mates if I back out now.
Hopefully, I'll feel brighter this afternoon - I'm going to be doing a run through, to make sure that everything goes to plan...
Suppose I'd better log off & bog off - I want a few minutes peace and quiet before I get hauled in to do the run through...
Back later - if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Finding a UFO in the car... (Uninvited Furry Object)
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Karen
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No, I'm not going 'round the twist. I was checking the car over in the garage, and obviously, to get access to the controls and the bonnet catch, I had left the driver's door open.
The cats have the run of the house and garage, and Fred, being the nosy / dumb moggy that he is, hopped in to the car. Ok - not a major problem, as he had a quick sniff 'round, saw that there was nothing of feline interest, and hopped out.
Ponto, on the other hand was a different kettle of fish. (Or fur - your choice!) He hopped into the car, and promptly settled down for a sleep on the back seat. I closed the bonnet, and the door of the car, and went back into the house to grab my coat and handbag, so I could leave for work.
No problem there. The problem arose, when I backed the car out of the garage, and had just closed the garage door, with the intention of heading to work. Only to have a small (or not so small) grey head pop between the front seats, look up at me and go 'Meow.' As if to say "where are we going, and will I be able to sleep?"
I will admit, I was too stunned to even scream. I stood on the brakes, and slapped the hazards on - the last thing that I wanted was for one of the other residents to plough into the back of my car, whilst I was busy throwing Ponto back into the house.
Grabbing hold of him wasn't that difficult - I think he was more stunned by my reaction than I was! I opened the garage door, and then opened the back door and plonked him down on the floor with a few kitty crunchies. Whilst he was munching, I scarpered out the back door and back to the car, muttering darkly as I did so.
If the truth be known, Ponto & Fred wouldn't dream of going near my previous car, as I used to take them to the vet, and the minute they saw the door open on the car, the two of them fled!
So, I guess the moral of this furry tail (ok - I mean tale) is to make sure that neither cat is in the area when I'm checking the car over... Until I have to take them to the vet that is!
Suppose I'd better get on with some work...
Back later - if I can get the peace and quiet!
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
The cats have the run of the house and garage, and Fred, being the nosy / dumb moggy that he is, hopped in to the car. Ok - not a major problem, as he had a quick sniff 'round, saw that there was nothing of feline interest, and hopped out.
Ponto, on the other hand was a different kettle of fish. (Or fur - your choice!) He hopped into the car, and promptly settled down for a sleep on the back seat. I closed the bonnet, and the door of the car, and went back into the house to grab my coat and handbag, so I could leave for work.
No problem there. The problem arose, when I backed the car out of the garage, and had just closed the garage door, with the intention of heading to work. Only to have a small (or not so small) grey head pop between the front seats, look up at me and go 'Meow.' As if to say "where are we going, and will I be able to sleep?"
I will admit, I was too stunned to even scream. I stood on the brakes, and slapped the hazards on - the last thing that I wanted was for one of the other residents to plough into the back of my car, whilst I was busy throwing Ponto back into the house.
Grabbing hold of him wasn't that difficult - I think he was more stunned by my reaction than I was! I opened the garage door, and then opened the back door and plonked him down on the floor with a few kitty crunchies. Whilst he was munching, I scarpered out the back door and back to the car, muttering darkly as I did so.
If the truth be known, Ponto & Fred wouldn't dream of going near my previous car, as I used to take them to the vet, and the minute they saw the door open on the car, the two of them fled!
So, I guess the moral of this furry tail (ok - I mean tale) is to make sure that neither cat is in the area when I'm checking the car over... Until I have to take them to the vet that is!
Suppose I'd better get on with some work...
Back later - if I can get the peace and quiet!
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
Happy New Year!
Posted by
Karen
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Happy New Year! Sorry it's taken a while for me get this post on to the blog, but I've been rather pre-occupied with various things - including making sure that my friend is ok...
As I type this, Rachel is still in hospital recovering from the riding accident, and to be honest, I'm wondering if she'll ever want to get back on a horse again.
But, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it - no point on dwelling what may not even happen. If the events of the past year have taught me anything - it's grab every chance with both hands - life's too short for what if....
So, having taken that lesson on board, I did exactly that, and did something that most people would consider crazy. I bought a horse. Not just any horse, but a thoroughbred. As in race horse breed. I've no intention of racing her, as I don't fancy the expense / heartache that comes with race horse ownership.
However, she's a really bright / intelligent horse, and she's called Heart of Flame (more often called Flame for ease!) When I get the scanner sorted out (really must take the computer apart this weekend!) I'll take some photos of her (I don't do self portraits), and post them on my blog.
On a personal note, aside from the purchase of my horse, things have been ticking along quietly, and things are getting..... Interesting. Obviously, I'll refrain from naming people (unless I get their ok), but suffice to say that I'm happier than I've been for quite a while.
Admittedly, I do take some stick at work for it, but it's water off a duck's back as they say, as there is very little that anyone can say / do to dampen my happiness.
Ah well, time to call this entry quits - I've got to get dinner ready for when Mum gets in...
Back tomorrow - possibly.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
As I type this, Rachel is still in hospital recovering from the riding accident, and to be honest, I'm wondering if she'll ever want to get back on a horse again.
But, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it - no point on dwelling what may not even happen. If the events of the past year have taught me anything - it's grab every chance with both hands - life's too short for what if....
So, having taken that lesson on board, I did exactly that, and did something that most people would consider crazy. I bought a horse. Not just any horse, but a thoroughbred. As in race horse breed. I've no intention of racing her, as I don't fancy the expense / heartache that comes with race horse ownership.
However, she's a really bright / intelligent horse, and she's called Heart of Flame (more often called Flame for ease!) When I get the scanner sorted out (really must take the computer apart this weekend!) I'll take some photos of her (I don't do self portraits), and post them on my blog.
On a personal note, aside from the purchase of my horse, things have been ticking along quietly, and things are getting..... Interesting. Obviously, I'll refrain from naming people (unless I get their ok), but suffice to say that I'm happier than I've been for quite a while.
Admittedly, I do take some stick at work for it, but it's water off a duck's back as they say, as there is very little that anyone can say / do to dampen my happiness.
Ah well, time to call this entry quits - I've got to get dinner ready for when Mum gets in...
Back tomorrow - possibly.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
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