After the run through...

Talk about being emotionally drained. The run through was worse than I'd expected! Ok - I know that my colleagues were quite happy with the way I coped, but appearances are tremendously deceiving. Inside, I was little more than a quivering jelly!

My line manager was really helpful, and offered to help me on the first attempt, but I'm the stubborn (or bloody minded - take your pick) type. I will admit, I politely declined the offer of help, as I said that it was easier for me to "fling myself in at the deep end, and get this started - otherwise I'll just wimp out."

It wasn't as bad as I'd feared, and given the fact that I'd only watched the video a couple of times, I don't think I did too badly... Everyone in the group was really supportive, and my line manager was really impressed - he jokingly accused me of reading the script over his shoulder as he prepped it on his laptop!

But the more I ran through the script, the more my nerves started to affect me, and it didn't help the fact that my colleagues were pulling faces at me in an attempt to ease my nerves. In the end, I declined the offer of another run through, on the grounds that all it was doing was making me even more nervous that I already was.

As I left the room with the others, my line manager asked me to wait a couple of minutes, as he wanted to talk to me. I will admit to being even more uptight than I was before, but it transpired that all he wanted to do was re-assure me that if I didn't feel up to doing the presentation at any point, just let him know, and he'd step into the fray for me.

I will admit, I was really grateful for the offer, but said that I would feel that I had let myself and my group members down by wimping out at the last minute. As I type this, I'm beginning to wonder if this time, I've finally bitten off more than I can chew...

Back when I get chance.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down.