That's one thing that really bugs me. As I'm the main contact for the OTR side of things in the office, I'm the one that the guys in the field speak to, so that they can get the orders and other stuff sorted out.
Ok - that's not an issue - what really bugs me is the fact that the poor sod who's supposed to be my back-up has had absolutely minimal training, and when I'm out of the office (either on holiday or off sick), the back up is next to non-existent.
So, the pair of us have started to gang up on our line manager, and make him aware of the situation. That's not a problem, as he's quite happy to help out, and has agreed that something needs to be done.
The problem (as far as I'm concerned) is the fact that one of the other members of the department can't see why the guys in the field talk to me instead of the other contact.
Without blowing my own trumpet, I get the impression that the reason that they talk to me, is because they know that things will get sorted out, and that I'll keep them in the loop on what's happening with the order / query that they've thrown my way.
But, as things seem to be happening, I've said that I'll hold fire on doing anything like speaking to my partner, as he knows damned well that I was getting worried about what was going to happen whilst I was away...
Suppose I should log off and bog off - I'm supposed to be working...
Back later if I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Now this would be interesting......
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Karen
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READ TEXT FIRST THEN LOOK AT IMAGE.
Tired of getting stuck in slow moving traffic?
Want to have your own lane on the M1/M25/M5/M62?
Simple, tie these balloons to your car.
Belt it down the A1 (or any other road you wish to drive fast) and watch other car drivers freak out and simply get out of your way!
When you get stopped by the police, tell them you thought they were real.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Tired of getting stuck in slow moving traffic?
Want to have your own lane on the M1/M25/M5/M62?
Simple, tie these balloons to your car.
Belt it down the A1 (or any other road you wish to drive fast) and watch other car drivers freak out and simply get out of your way!
When you get stopped by the police, tell them you thought they were real.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
All quiet on the OTR front
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Karen
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Well, things seem to have settled down on the OTR side of things... I've been kept busy sorting out various orders for the guys, and one has even said that as far as he was concerned, today I was walking on water.
Thanks. That's all I need, as you can almost guarantee that it will put the mockers on anything that I try to do for the rest of the day!
Despite that, my friend White Wolf has been e-mailing me, and making me laugh with all sorts of silly jokes - this one being one of my favorites:
This is a quick story about the bond formed between a little girl and a group of building workers.
It's allegedly true and makes you want to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race.
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant building. One day Joe, Steve and a gang of building workers turned up to start building a house on the empty plot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
They even gave her very own hard hat and gloves. At the end of the first week they presented her with a pay envelope containing two pounds in 10p coins.
The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank the cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.
"You must have worked very hard to earn all this" said the bank cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with the men building a big house."
"My goodness gracious," said the cashier, "Will you be working on the house again this week, as well?"
The little girl thought for a moment and said........................
"I think so. Provided those c*nts at Jewson deliver the f**king bricks."
Rats - my direct line's ringing - that was one of the worst mistakes I could have made - giving the OTR guys my direct dial!
Back later if I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Thanks. That's all I need, as you can almost guarantee that it will put the mockers on anything that I try to do for the rest of the day!
Despite that, my friend White Wolf has been e-mailing me, and making me laugh with all sorts of silly jokes - this one being one of my favorites:
This is a quick story about the bond formed between a little girl and a group of building workers.
It's allegedly true and makes you want to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race.
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant building. One day Joe, Steve and a gang of building workers turned up to start building a house on the empty plot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.
She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
They even gave her very own hard hat and gloves. At the end of the first week they presented her with a pay envelope containing two pounds in 10p coins.
The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank the cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.
"You must have worked very hard to earn all this" said the bank cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with the men building a big house."
"My goodness gracious," said the cashier, "Will you be working on the house again this week, as well?"
The little girl thought for a moment and said........................
"I think so. Provided those c*nts at Jewson deliver the f**king bricks."
Rats - my direct line's ringing - that was one of the worst mistakes I could have made - giving the OTR guys my direct dial!
Back later if I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Anyone for flame grilled tiger?
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Karen
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Another day, another foul up with an OTR tyre. This time, it was a crane tyre, and it wasn't something that I knew anything about until one of my colleagues in the OTR department asked who'd told a customer that the tyres were available...
I was able to sort it out, but my colleague was a real angel, and called the customer for me, and explained the situation. The customer (quite understandably) wasn't very happy, but at least it wasn't me getting the ear-ache from the customer for once!
So, to hopefully (emphasis on the hopefully) prevent anymore foul ups on the ordering side of things, I sent the following e-mail...
Hi guys,
If you get a call for a mobile crane tyre of any description, then please speak to either myself or xxx, or if either of us are not available, could you please transfer the call to either xxxx xxxxxx (speed dial xxx) or xxxx xxxxxx (speed dial xxx).
If in doubt, PLEASE speak to either myself or xxx.
So, all I have to do now, is prevent any more hiccups with the OTR side of things!
Suppose I should log off and bog off - my mobile's ringing!
Back tomorrow.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
I was able to sort it out, but my colleague was a real angel, and called the customer for me, and explained the situation. The customer (quite understandably) wasn't very happy, but at least it wasn't me getting the ear-ache from the customer for once!
So, to hopefully (emphasis on the hopefully) prevent anymore foul ups on the ordering side of things, I sent the following e-mail...
Hi guys,
If you get a call for a mobile crane tyre of any description, then please speak to either myself or xxx, or if either of us are not available, could you please transfer the call to either xxxx xxxxxx (speed dial xxx) or xxxx xxxxxx (speed dial xxx).
If in doubt, PLEASE speak to either myself or xxx.
So, all I have to do now, is prevent any more hiccups with the OTR side of things!
Suppose I should log off and bog off - my mobile's ringing!
Back tomorrow.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Trying to avoid a toasting...
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Karen
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Ever had one of those days when you wish you'd turned over in bed and gone back to sleep? Well, I'm having one today.
It got off to a bad start when I managed to leave my security pass in the tack room this morning, and forgot to grab the damned thing. Then when I'd gotten into the office, it really hit the blades. And muggins here was directly in the firing line.
A customer had tried to order a particular tyre, and unknown to myself or my colleague in the department, these tyres had already been sold to another customer. So, as the system was showing that these tyres were in stock, the order was on the system, just awaiting confirmation from the customer of the required purchase number..
Only for me to then find that some of the tyres have been taken by someone in logistics for this other customer! I then had the delightful (?) job of telling the customer that I'd been dealing with that the full quantity that he'd requested wasn't available.
Brown smelly stuff and rotating blades anybody? The fun and games then started when my partner came down to see me, and asked what the hell had gone on with this order.
Needless to say, I was less than impressed, and politely pointed out that the order was nothing to do with me, and the first I'd known about it, was when my colleague had asked if I'd place the same size tyre on order!
The reaction was less than friendly, until I pointed out that I'd spoken to very few people in the OTR department, and had spent even less time on the 'phone than normal, as I was trying to sort out my least favorite account, which had a large order that needed placing onto the system, and then sorting out the stock to make sure that there was enough stock to complete the order.
I wasn't very friendly, and made it plain that I just wanted to be left alone tonight, as I was seriously irritated by the fact that he immediately blamed me for the foul up with the damned tyres. But, at least I got an apology from him, so that made me feel slightly better...
So, as I type this, I'm sitting in the study listening to Planet Rock on my DAB digital radio, and am only now starting to cool off.
Suppose I should log off and bog off - I want to grab a bite to eat before I crawl into my pit tonight.
Back tomorrow if I get the chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
It got off to a bad start when I managed to leave my security pass in the tack room this morning, and forgot to grab the damned thing. Then when I'd gotten into the office, it really hit the blades. And muggins here was directly in the firing line.
A customer had tried to order a particular tyre, and unknown to myself or my colleague in the department, these tyres had already been sold to another customer. So, as the system was showing that these tyres were in stock, the order was on the system, just awaiting confirmation from the customer of the required purchase number..
Only for me to then find that some of the tyres have been taken by someone in logistics for this other customer! I then had the delightful (?) job of telling the customer that I'd been dealing with that the full quantity that he'd requested wasn't available.
Brown smelly stuff and rotating blades anybody? The fun and games then started when my partner came down to see me, and asked what the hell had gone on with this order.
Needless to say, I was less than impressed, and politely pointed out that the order was nothing to do with me, and the first I'd known about it, was when my colleague had asked if I'd place the same size tyre on order!
The reaction was less than friendly, until I pointed out that I'd spoken to very few people in the OTR department, and had spent even less time on the 'phone than normal, as I was trying to sort out my least favorite account, which had a large order that needed placing onto the system, and then sorting out the stock to make sure that there was enough stock to complete the order.
I wasn't very friendly, and made it plain that I just wanted to be left alone tonight, as I was seriously irritated by the fact that he immediately blamed me for the foul up with the damned tyres. But, at least I got an apology from him, so that made me feel slightly better...
So, as I type this, I'm sitting in the study listening to Planet Rock on my DAB digital radio, and am only now starting to cool off.
Suppose I should log off and bog off - I want to grab a bite to eat before I crawl into my pit tonight.
Back tomorrow if I get the chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Things that make me smile..
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Karen
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My daft hog riding friend has been sending me all sorts of silly things, and I've not had chance to post them, so before I get even more earache than I have already, here's a selection of the things that I've been sent:
The other thing that made me smile was this joke:
One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."
As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?""Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.
With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve of her wetsuit, and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the man, "that is so good, I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!""And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Irish whiskey?" asked the blonde.
Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket,removes a flask and hands it to him.
He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the Gods!" stated the Irishman. 'Tis truly fantastic!!!"At this point, the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there, too!"
Hmmm... Suppose I'd better get on with some w*rk, but I'm suffering a case of TNFI again..
Back later, if I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
The other thing that made me smile was this joke:
One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."
As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?""Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.
With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve of her wetsuit, and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the man, "that is so good, I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!""And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Irish whiskey?" asked the blonde.
Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket,removes a flask and hands it to him.
He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the Gods!" stated the Irishman. 'Tis truly fantastic!!!"At this point, the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there, too!"
Hmmm... Suppose I'd better get on with some w*rk, but I'm suffering a case of TNFI again..
Back later, if I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Taking a tumble..
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Karen
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I knew it was too good to last. I got thrown off Flame on Sunday...
Ok - I'd better explain what happened... Carole, Rachel and myself decided that we were going to spend a day riding in the Malvern hills...
That was ok, and we got there in one piece, and had gotten the horses tacked up, and the others were mounted up, and waiting for me, as I'd been checking to make sure that Flame's girth was tight enough, in order to stop the saddle slipping...
As I went to mount up, there was a lad with one of these stunt kites that makes a screeching noise as it flies, and I'd seen that Flame was not very happy with the noise, so I politely asked if he would wait for me to get on Flame and get moving, before he launched the kite...
Unfortunately for me, he launched the kite when I'd gotten in the saddle, and didn't have my feet on the stirrups... Which was a blessing in a way, as Flame went up on her back legs, I went off backwards, and she shot off like she was in the St Ledger!
Carole was an angel, and went after Flame for me, whilst Rachel made sure that I was ok, as I'd landed flat on my back. Thankfully, I'd got my body armor on, and was only bruised and winded, but that didn't stop me from going mad at the muppet who'd launched the kite...
"I didn't think the horse would react like that" came the dumb reply. Thanks. Even though I'd asked the muppet not to fly the kite, as there was a good chance that something like this could happen...
Thankfully, Flame was unhurt by her run, and I was able to get into the saddle - albeit rather painfully. The rest of the day was un-eventful, and I admit to walking like an old woman when I did dismount from Flame...
Ah well, suppose I should log off and bog off, I'm supposed to be going to see my other half!
Back later, if I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Ok - I'd better explain what happened... Carole, Rachel and myself decided that we were going to spend a day riding in the Malvern hills...
That was ok, and we got there in one piece, and had gotten the horses tacked up, and the others were mounted up, and waiting for me, as I'd been checking to make sure that Flame's girth was tight enough, in order to stop the saddle slipping...
As I went to mount up, there was a lad with one of these stunt kites that makes a screeching noise as it flies, and I'd seen that Flame was not very happy with the noise, so I politely asked if he would wait for me to get on Flame and get moving, before he launched the kite...
Unfortunately for me, he launched the kite when I'd gotten in the saddle, and didn't have my feet on the stirrups... Which was a blessing in a way, as Flame went up on her back legs, I went off backwards, and she shot off like she was in the St Ledger!
Carole was an angel, and went after Flame for me, whilst Rachel made sure that I was ok, as I'd landed flat on my back. Thankfully, I'd got my body armor on, and was only bruised and winded, but that didn't stop me from going mad at the muppet who'd launched the kite...
"I didn't think the horse would react like that" came the dumb reply. Thanks. Even though I'd asked the muppet not to fly the kite, as there was a good chance that something like this could happen...
Thankfully, Flame was unhurt by her run, and I was able to get into the saddle - albeit rather painfully. The rest of the day was un-eventful, and I admit to walking like an old woman when I did dismount from Flame...
Ah well, suppose I should log off and bog off, I'm supposed to be going to see my other half!
Back later, if I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
I'm off to see the sawbones....
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Karen
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Scared. I've been to see the doctor again about my shoulder, and have been told that I need to keep resting the arm (boo, hiss) and that a referral to see an orthopaedic surgeon to get the shoulder sorted out.
Ok - I know that it could have been a lot worse - I could have been told that I needed another jab in my shoulder again, as I reacted so badly to the last two jabs!
So, until I get this sorted, I've been told that the only real treatment that I can have is rest and painkillers... Thankfully, I've not been banned from horse riding - but I accidentally on purpose neglected to mention that I was still riding...
Hmmm - suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I've got a severe case of TNFI...
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Ok - I know that it could have been a lot worse - I could have been told that I needed another jab in my shoulder again, as I reacted so badly to the last two jabs!
So, until I get this sorted, I've been told that the only real treatment that I can have is rest and painkillers... Thankfully, I've not been banned from horse riding - but I accidentally on purpose neglected to mention that I was still riding...
Hmmm - suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I've got a severe case of TNFI...
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Ever felt like..............
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Karen
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Strangling someone? Well, I'm having one of those moments. It's one of those cases where I got caught a real blinder by a customer.... Because the guy he usually speaks to is on holiday, he decided to call me in the office...
Thanks. What I know about this guy's accounts, you can carve painlessly on my small fingernail, and still have room to spare. So, it was a case of the blind leading the blind clueless (me being blind clueless!)
Thankfully, I was able to get some help - even if it was a case of swallowing my pride a little bit... Simply because it was my partner who's help I was asking for! He said the he would help me out, as I'd admitted that I hadn't got the foggiest how to deal with the query...
I know damned well when I see him tonight, he's going to be making the most of the fact that I had to ask for help, but I'll accept the gentle ribbing that he'll give me tonight...
But that's not the only thing that's caught me on the hop in the past 24 hours.... My best mate called me last night, and as I was a bit dopey (I'd taken some pain killers to stop my shoulder hurting me), it took me a few minutes to guess what he was talking about...
"What's the one thing that I said I would never do?"
Me being dopey, couldn't exactly recall, as there were two things that he said he'd never do - one of them was get married again, and the other was cheat on his partner....
I said it was get married.. And boy was I wrong. It turned out that he's cheated on his partner. And it gets better. It was with his brother's ex-girlfriend.
He said that he needed to speak to someone (namely me) who could give him a few sensible answers, and wouldn't fly off the handle at him.
To be honest, I was too dopey to do anything apart from call him "a muppet", and ask him if he wanted to split up with his partner. The reply was something that I didn't expect...
"I love xxxx to bits, but the trouble is, I can see me and yyyy having a future together... I guess that I've not really been settled since xxxx dumped me via text a few weeks ago, and then got back with me..."
That's all very well, but the trouble that it would cause between him and his brother is not something that I wish to contemplate - as his brother has an explosive temper, and my friend has said this lass is not worth all the hassle that it would cause him...
He said that he would call me tonight, and sit and talk with me, as he needed me to be my normal objective self to help him get his head 'round a few things...
At the end of the day, it's his decision - all I can do is provide a friendly (or not so friendly) ear to bend...
Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I'm suffering from terminal TNFI.....
Back later, if I get the chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Thanks. What I know about this guy's accounts, you can carve painlessly on my small fingernail, and still have room to spare. So, it was a case of the blind leading the blind clueless (me being blind clueless!)
Thankfully, I was able to get some help - even if it was a case of swallowing my pride a little bit... Simply because it was my partner who's help I was asking for! He said the he would help me out, as I'd admitted that I hadn't got the foggiest how to deal with the query...
I know damned well when I see him tonight, he's going to be making the most of the fact that I had to ask for help, but I'll accept the gentle ribbing that he'll give me tonight...
But that's not the only thing that's caught me on the hop in the past 24 hours.... My best mate called me last night, and as I was a bit dopey (I'd taken some pain killers to stop my shoulder hurting me), it took me a few minutes to guess what he was talking about...
"What's the one thing that I said I would never do?"
Me being dopey, couldn't exactly recall, as there were two things that he said he'd never do - one of them was get married again, and the other was cheat on his partner....
I said it was get married.. And boy was I wrong. It turned out that he's cheated on his partner. And it gets better. It was with his brother's ex-girlfriend.
He said that he needed to speak to someone (namely me) who could give him a few sensible answers, and wouldn't fly off the handle at him.
To be honest, I was too dopey to do anything apart from call him "a muppet", and ask him if he wanted to split up with his partner. The reply was something that I didn't expect...
"I love xxxx to bits, but the trouble is, I can see me and yyyy having a future together... I guess that I've not really been settled since xxxx dumped me via text a few weeks ago, and then got back with me..."
That's all very well, but the trouble that it would cause between him and his brother is not something that I wish to contemplate - as his brother has an explosive temper, and my friend has said this lass is not worth all the hassle that it would cause him...
He said that he would call me tonight, and sit and talk with me, as he needed me to be my normal objective self to help him get his head 'round a few things...
At the end of the day, it's his decision - all I can do is provide a friendly (or not so friendly) ear to bend...
Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I'm suffering from terminal TNFI.....
Back later, if I get the chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Something that made me laugh, and brightened anotherwise dull day...
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Karen
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These are just a couple of jokes that have made me smile today....
ETHICAL QUESTION:
In light of the news of the so-called human cloning going on, we have to ask ourselves the hypothetical question:
If you pushed your naked clone off the top of a tall building, would it be:
A) murder,
B) suicide, or
C) merely making an obscene clone fall
The other joke was this one:
Interesting Observations
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"
4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.
11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I have stayed alive.
14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn.. that was fun!"-
20. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
21. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunk y dunk."
22. The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them
23. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
24. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
25. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
26. My husband says I never listen to him (at least I think that's what he said).
27. Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
28. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called LABOR!
29. Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
ETHICAL QUESTION:
In light of the news of the so-called human cloning going on, we have to ask ourselves the hypothetical question:
If you pushed your naked clone off the top of a tall building, would it be:
A) murder,
B) suicide, or
C) merely making an obscene clone fall
The other joke was this one:
Interesting Observations
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"
4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.
11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I have stayed alive.
14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn.. that was fun!"-
20. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
21. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunk y dunk."
22. The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them
23. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
24. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
25. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
26. My husband says I never listen to him (at least I think that's what he said).
27. Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
28. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called LABOR!
29. Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Hmm - suppose I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - not that I have much interest in that at the moment!
Back when I get chance...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Just a little something to make you smile
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
This was sent to me by a fella, and I get the impression that he was hinting at something!
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!
The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife."The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming,crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
MORAL: Women are evil. Don't mess with them
Pass on this advice !!
Hmm - suppose I should think about doing some work, but I have got no interest at all...
Back later, if I get chance...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!
The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife."The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.
Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming,crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
MORAL: Women are evil. Don't mess with them
Pass on this advice !!
Hmm - suppose I should think about doing some work, but I have got no interest at all...
Back later, if I get chance...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Joining the MP3 player brigade...
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Well, I've done it. I've bought myself an MP3 player. It's a good sized one - 1GB, and I transferred all of the music that I have on my computer (the tracks that I like!), and I've still got free space.
Not that I'm complaining - far from it. I'll be taking it with me when I go on holiday, and also when I travel to Dublin in November, for White Wolf's 30th birthday...
My partner thought I was daft, until he listened to it last night (after I'd copied the music and travelled down to see him), and has now decided that he wants to get one himself, as his taste in music is different to mine - I've got things like AC/DC, Metallica and Edwyn Collins...
Despite this, I'm more than happy, and will be taking it into work to listen to during my lunch-break - that way there's no way that people will be able to disturb me unless I take one of the ear-pieces out of my ear, or my alarm goes off on my 'phone...
Suppose I should think about doing some work, but I'm suffering from a case of severe TNFI........
Back later, if I get chance...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Not that I'm complaining - far from it. I'll be taking it with me when I go on holiday, and also when I travel to Dublin in November, for White Wolf's 30th birthday...
My partner thought I was daft, until he listened to it last night (after I'd copied the music and travelled down to see him), and has now decided that he wants to get one himself, as his taste in music is different to mine - I've got things like AC/DC, Metallica and Edwyn Collins...
Despite this, I'm more than happy, and will be taking it into work to listen to during my lunch-break - that way there's no way that people will be able to disturb me unless I take one of the ear-pieces out of my ear, or my alarm goes off on my 'phone...
Suppose I should think about doing some work, but I'm suffering from a case of severe TNFI........
Back later, if I get chance...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Too wired to sleep, but I’m exhausted…
Posted by
Karen
I’ve got the worst of both worlds. I’m sitting here at my partner’s computer at 02:00 BST, as I’m too damned wired to sleep, after everything that has gone on this week, but equally, I'm mentally and phyically exhausted.
My partner has been a real angel, and has treated me like a princess. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t object to that – it’s nice to be spoilt occasionally, but I’m one of these peculiar people who prefers to fight her own battles, and it still rankles that I’ve let myself get so damned wound up over one account.
My partner has been a real angel, and has treated me like a princess. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t object to that – it’s nice to be spoilt occasionally, but I’m one of these peculiar people who prefers to fight her own battles, and it still rankles that I’ve let myself get so damned wound up over one account.
You think I need you but I don’t
You think I’ll break down but I won’t
And you’ve had everything you’re gonna get from me
Saw your pleasure in my pain
And you released me from my chains
And I woke up to my own insanity
Waiting for changes
That were never gonna come
So, starting from next week, I’m going to put all this crap behind me, and move on. Ok – I admit that it’s not going to be easy, as I’m going to attend my friend’s funeral next Friday. But, with the love and help from my partner and my friends, I should be able to survive, and start thriving again.
Now onto something that I found on BBC on-line – that made me smile…
A frog species which had a distinct Norfolk accent, but which became extinct in England in the 19901s is being reintroduced.
About 70 northern pool frogs – one of Europe’s rarest species – will be reintroduced to Norfolk by English Nature and partners on Friday.
The frog was thought to be a European import, but researchers have now found they are native to East Anglia.
Recordings of mating Norfolk frogs show they had a characteristic inflection.
Archaeological investigations revealed pool frog remains around old Saxon sites in Cambridgeshire and Lincolnshire.
But fenland drainage led to the frog’s extinction before its native status was recognised. The pool frogs released on Friday were captured in a wildlife rich region in Uppsala in Sweden earlier this week.
The frogs will be released at a secret location near Thetford in Norfolk, to guard against theft by amphibian collectors.
Habitats at the site, including special ponds called pingos, have been restored by the Forestry Commission over the last few years.
English Nature’s amphibian specialist, Jim Foster, said: “Piecing together what happened to pool frogs has proved to be a real detective story.
“The frog’s distinctive Norfolk accent, the buried remains and genetic studies all provided crucial clues.
“It has taken nearly 10 years of research, involving people across Europe, to get to the bottom of this mystery and today is the culmination of all that effort”
Part of me thinks that the people who did this research have way too much time on their hands, but who am I to comment?
Suppose I should log off and bog off – I’ve got to get some sleep in what remains of the night…
Back later.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
A frog species which had a distinct Norfolk accent, but which became extinct in England in the 19901s is being reintroduced.
About 70 northern pool frogs – one of Europe’s rarest species – will be reintroduced to Norfolk by English Nature and partners on Friday.
The frog was thought to be a European import, but researchers have now found they are native to East Anglia.
Recordings of mating Norfolk frogs show they had a characteristic inflection.
Archaeological investigations revealed pool frog remains around old Saxon sites in Cambridgeshire and Lincolnshire.
But fenland drainage led to the frog’s extinction before its native status was recognised. The pool frogs released on Friday were captured in a wildlife rich region in Uppsala in Sweden earlier this week.
The frogs will be released at a secret location near Thetford in Norfolk, to guard against theft by amphibian collectors.
Habitats at the site, including special ponds called pingos, have been restored by the Forestry Commission over the last few years.
English Nature’s amphibian specialist, Jim Foster, said: “Piecing together what happened to pool frogs has proved to be a real detective story.
“The frog’s distinctive Norfolk accent, the buried remains and genetic studies all provided crucial clues.
“It has taken nearly 10 years of research, involving people across Europe, to get to the bottom of this mystery and today is the culmination of all that effort”
Part of me thinks that the people who did this research have way too much time on their hands, but who am I to comment?
Suppose I should log off and bog off – I’ve got to get some sleep in what remains of the night…
Back later.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Handing over part of a poisoned chalice
Posted by
Karen
Well, I'm happier than I was. Unfortunately, I've still got to deal with the one account that I hate, but at least it has been lightened a little bit - I'm passing on the other part of the poisoned chalice to one of my colleagues.
The OTR side is being left alone, as I made it very plain that was non-negotiable, and thankfully, it sounds like the feedback that is going to my line manager is very positive (I guess going on the training course was more beneficial than I'd realised)...
However, the reason that I'm being left with part of this damned chalice is because my line manager wants me to re-build my confidence and my professional reputation with other people within the company.
Ah well, as the day draws to a close, I guess that things could have been an awful lot worse...
Time to log off & bog off - it's escape time!
Back later, if I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
The OTR side is being left alone, as I made it very plain that was non-negotiable, and thankfully, it sounds like the feedback that is going to my line manager is very positive (I guess going on the training course was more beneficial than I'd realised)...
However, the reason that I'm being left with part of this damned chalice is because my line manager wants me to re-build my confidence and my professional reputation with other people within the company.
Ah well, as the day draws to a close, I guess that things could have been an awful lot worse...
Time to log off & bog off - it's escape time!
Back later, if I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Getting the Tiger's roar back...
Posted by
Karen
Well, I'm happier than I was yesterday, but that's only because two of the people I really care about have been absolute angels, and helped me get back on my 'paws'.
One of them was my daft hog riding friend, who was a real gem, and made me laugh by telling me about things that he used to do in previous jobs, as well as telling me not to take things too personally - especially where my work is concerned!
The other person was my partner, who came up to see me, and when he realised how down I really was, took me out for a drink, and a chill out at a pub that he knows, in a village between our homes...
I hadn't had anything to eat, simply because when I got home last night, I was far too uptight to eat... So, in theory, I should have been plastered by the time he dropped me off back home last night... But as per normal, the theory didn't follow the actual result - I was stone-cold sober.
Ok - I wouldn't have risked driving, but I was no-where near being drunk, and my partner was a real gent - he made sure that I was in the house ok before he left, and sent me a text message to let me know that he was home ok.
Time to call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be going into a meeting in a couple of minutes...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
One of them was my daft hog riding friend, who was a real gem, and made me laugh by telling me about things that he used to do in previous jobs, as well as telling me not to take things too personally - especially where my work is concerned!
The other person was my partner, who came up to see me, and when he realised how down I really was, took me out for a drink, and a chill out at a pub that he knows, in a village between our homes...
I hadn't had anything to eat, simply because when I got home last night, I was far too uptight to eat... So, in theory, I should have been plastered by the time he dropped me off back home last night... But as per normal, the theory didn't follow the actual result - I was stone-cold sober.
Ok - I wouldn't have risked driving, but I was no-where near being drunk, and my partner was a real gent - he made sure that I was in the house ok before he left, and sent me a text message to let me know that he was home ok.
Time to call this entry quits - I'm supposed to be going into a meeting in a couple of minutes...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Changing from wood to steel
Posted by
Karen
Well, I've hit the bottom, and have now been given the ammunition to fight back - with true tiger-like vengance.
The thing that has really annoyed me more than anything else, is that I've been blamed for stock not being sent in, when the details that I have to hand state that the tyres are there for the customer!
Whilst I don't mind admitting that I'm far from perfect, I object to getting blamed for something that is beyond my control. Ok - I'm not slinging boulders / bricks or anything else for that matter, but it just irritates me that I'm the one getting the knife (or machete) in the back.
But, I guess that at this moment in time, the best thing I can do is bide my time, and then use the ammunition that I have at the right time....
Nearly time for lunch - not that I'm in the mood to eat!
Back later, if I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
The thing that has really annoyed me more than anything else, is that I've been blamed for stock not being sent in, when the details that I have to hand state that the tyres are there for the customer!
Whilst I don't mind admitting that I'm far from perfect, I object to getting blamed for something that is beyond my control. Ok - I'm not slinging boulders / bricks or anything else for that matter, but it just irritates me that I'm the one getting the knife (or machete) in the back.
But, I guess that at this moment in time, the best thing I can do is bide my time, and then use the ammunition that I have at the right time....
Nearly time for lunch - not that I'm in the mood to eat!
Back later, if I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
It's not easy when you don't know why...
Posted by
Karen
Well, I guess I do know why I feel so down. My friend died at 10:30 yesterday morning, and I've made a boo-boo with a delivery - it should have been a collection!
The worst part is, I feel like I've let everyone down - including myself, and I can hardly type for the tears that keep welling up in my eyes.
My line manager has been a real angel - he's realised that I'm starting to crack under the strain of my workload, and has said that he wants to talk to me tomorrow about what the team can do to help me get back to my old self.
I've already admitted that I'm quite willing to relinquish the one account that gives me so much grief, but I'm not going to lose the OTR side of things, not when I've done so much damned work to bring my knowledge base up to a level where I can be of some use to the guys in the field.
Thankfully, he's said that he's happy with me doing the OTR side of things, as he knows how much I enjoy working on that, but there are several bits that he thinks I could use some help with - and he's determined to avoid allowing this one account to think that they've got more power than they really have, and help me re-build my confidence back up to the level it was before I got crushed by everything hitting me all at once.
Time to get on with some work - I'm determined to clear my name on where some of the crap is concerned!!
Back later.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
The worst part is, I feel like I've let everyone down - including myself, and I can hardly type for the tears that keep welling up in my eyes.
My line manager has been a real angel - he's realised that I'm starting to crack under the strain of my workload, and has said that he wants to talk to me tomorrow about what the team can do to help me get back to my old self.
I've already admitted that I'm quite willing to relinquish the one account that gives me so much grief, but I'm not going to lose the OTR side of things, not when I've done so much damned work to bring my knowledge base up to a level where I can be of some use to the guys in the field.
Thankfully, he's said that he's happy with me doing the OTR side of things, as he knows how much I enjoy working on that, but there are several bits that he thinks I could use some help with - and he's determined to avoid allowing this one account to think that they've got more power than they really have, and help me re-build my confidence back up to the level it was before I got crushed by everything hitting me all at once.
Time to get on with some work - I'm determined to clear my name on where some of the crap is concerned!!
Back later.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Miracles do happen...
Posted by
Karen
Well, I've been able to beg / borrow / steal the six tyres that my colleague needed to help his customer with. I was joking about him owing me a very large G & T when he next sees me, as I've saved him from getting some serious grief from the customer.
But the only way I could do it, was to enlist the help of two of the other guys in the field, and ask if I could 'borrow' the tyres that were supposed to be going out to their customers.
Then, once I'd gotten the tyres, it was just a case of making sure that no-one-else could swipe them off me, and calling my colleague to let him know that I'd gotten the tyres.
Hmm - suppose I shoud call this entry quits - I've got work to do, as I want to be out of here on time tonight...
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
But the only way I could do it, was to enlist the help of two of the other guys in the field, and ask if I could 'borrow' the tyres that were supposed to be going out to their customers.
Then, once I'd gotten the tyres, it was just a case of making sure that no-one-else could swipe them off me, and calling my colleague to let him know that I'd gotten the tyres.
Hmm - suppose I shoud call this entry quits - I've got work to do, as I want to be out of here on time tonight...
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Put my head on the block for you? No chance.
Posted by
Karen
The title sums up my feelings about a request. Ok - the person who's made the request is someone whom I have a lot of time for, but not when it means that I'll be the one to get lynched.
Why do I say this? Simple. Because the tyres that he wants are on a back order, and there's not enough stock to clear all the back orders. The crux of the matter being the mere fact that I've been told by my colleague in logistics - trying to complete the order would be a case of "which customer do you want to piss off?"
Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have an issue, as I would call my normal contact, and get the go-ahead that way. But as my contact is on vacation for two weeks, I'm unwilling to put my head on the block, and get sliced up because I've bounced a customer (or two) to help this guy out.
So, all I can do is wait and see what response I get to the voicemail I've left, and see what happens from there. I have got a get-out clause that involves a director giving the go-ahead, but I'm keeping that in reserve, as I really don't want to alienate the rest of the guys that I work with, just to help out one fella.
Suppose I should look like I'm working, but to be honest, I've got no interest at all....
Back later, if I get the chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Why do I say this? Simple. Because the tyres that he wants are on a back order, and there's not enough stock to clear all the back orders. The crux of the matter being the mere fact that I've been told by my colleague in logistics - trying to complete the order would be a case of "which customer do you want to piss off?"
Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have an issue, as I would call my normal contact, and get the go-ahead that way. But as my contact is on vacation for two weeks, I'm unwilling to put my head on the block, and get sliced up because I've bounced a customer (or two) to help this guy out.
So, all I can do is wait and see what response I get to the voicemail I've left, and see what happens from there. I have got a get-out clause that involves a director giving the go-ahead, but I'm keeping that in reserve, as I really don't want to alienate the rest of the guys that I work with, just to help out one fella.
Suppose I should look like I'm working, but to be honest, I've got no interest at all....
Back later, if I get the chance.
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
Life never seems to go smoothly...
Posted by
Karen
Well, this week has been somewhat of a roller-coaster for me. And for once, it's not my family that's suffering - it's a long standing friend of mine and Mum's who's suffering.
The lady had a stroke on Sunday, and her family is understandably devastated, especially when they get told that she won't be going home from hospital. I'm of the opinion that the lady is a tough ol' buzzard and that she'll pull though - and have said the same thing to her son, which made him laugh.
We (her son and I) are going to visit his Mum in hospital tomorrow night, and my other half has told me not to worry about going over to his place after I get back from the hospital, if I don't feel like I can face the drive over there, but he'll be on the end of a 'phone if I need to talk to someone.
On a positive note, my friend White Wolf is escaping to Ireland to start his new job with Apple in Cork. He leaves the UK shores tonight, and has said that he'll be out of contact for a while, whilst he gets himself settled in, and sees how the land lies...
So, in honor of his escape, I've been able to find this Irish joke....
Paddy the famous Irishman is driving home after downing a few at the local pub. He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realizes that there is yet another tree directly in his path.
He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees.
Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop. The officer, approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on earth he was doing.
Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the officer stops him mid sentence and says,
"Fer Chris sakes, Paddy, that's yer air freshener!"
Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I really have a case of TNFI....
Back when I get chance...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
The lady had a stroke on Sunday, and her family is understandably devastated, especially when they get told that she won't be going home from hospital. I'm of the opinion that the lady is a tough ol' buzzard and that she'll pull though - and have said the same thing to her son, which made him laugh.
We (her son and I) are going to visit his Mum in hospital tomorrow night, and my other half has told me not to worry about going over to his place after I get back from the hospital, if I don't feel like I can face the drive over there, but he'll be on the end of a 'phone if I need to talk to someone.
On a positive note, my friend White Wolf is escaping to Ireland to start his new job with Apple in Cork. He leaves the UK shores tonight, and has said that he'll be out of contact for a while, whilst he gets himself settled in, and sees how the land lies...
So, in honor of his escape, I've been able to find this Irish joke....
Paddy the famous Irishman is driving home after downing a few at the local pub. He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realizes that there is yet another tree directly in his path.
He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees.
Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop. The officer, approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on earth he was doing.
Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the officer stops him mid sentence and says,
"Fer Chris sakes, Paddy, that's yer air freshener!"
Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I really have a case of TNFI....
Back when I get chance...
Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread
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