First full day in Madeira

Tuesday was a gentle day, which started with the welcome meeting from the tour rep. She was a nice lass and told us (Mum, myself and the rest of the group that had arrived on the same day / flight as us) about the island and some of the trips, as well as some of the things to try…

One of the things that she suggested that people try, was Poncha – made from firewater (ok – local rum or rhum as the Portuguese spell it) honey and lemon.

Apparently, it’s a real cure-all – three of them and what ever was wrong with you has been cured. (I put that down to the fact that it’s due to the fact that you’re so pissed, you can’t remember what was wrong with you in the first place!)

Mum and I decided that there were a couple of trips that we did want to do – i.e. the Western Madeira trip on the Wednesday, the half day gardens tour on Thursday and the Nuns Valley tour on the Saturday. The theory being that the rest of the week, Mum and I could spend relaxing by the pool or shopping in Funchal.

So, Tuesday after the meeting, Mum and I took an gentle walk to the Madeira story centre, which was just up the road from our hotel. It was really good - a great way to start the holiday, and had some superb exhibits - including the wax models illustrating various people from Maderian history.

The pirates were raiders of the islands during the late 15th century, and Mum made me laugh by saying that the one pirate didn't look too enthusiastic at all...!

There were other models - including this one of Napoleon:

Much as I hate to say it, Napoleon looks hungover in this pose, and there were several comments along the lines of "not tonight Joseph" But there was one display that did make my eyes light up...

It's one of the famous sledges that run from Monte and Mum said that she would see how she felt before saying that she would go down in it with me...

Then, it was a gentle stroll to the market (more on that later in my blog) and a stop off for a bite to eat, before heading back to the hotel to get changed for dinner, and grabbing an early night, as we'd got to be up super early the following day...

Time to call this quits - my eyes are getting tired.

Back when I get the chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Back from Madeira

This is the first time that I’ve had chance to put finger to keyboard and has become my normal trick – I’ve got loads of pictures from my holiday – even if my damned camera decided to wipe out all of the images off one memory card!

But, despite that setback, I’ve got loads of pictures – some of which I will publish – others that will remain in the collection for personal reasons.

As with past trips, I think the best way is for me do treat each day as a separate post, so that it doesn’t just become a blur, and get confusing. This first post will deal with the trials and tribulations of travel on the outbound leg…

The flight out would have been fine – apart from the fact that I felt like I’d been crammed into a veal pen. I should have guessed that things were not going to go very smoothly, when the snotty cow on the check-in desk decided to give Mum and myself a hard time over the hand baggage weight.

She said that you were only allowed 5kg, and that Mum’s flight bag was overweight and would have to have some bits put into the case as my own case was on the weight limit as well. (I couldn’t find any information on the weight allowances on the tickets, but I was too pissed off to argue with the cow.)

I resorted to taking the one guide book out and putting it into my pocket (I got glared at) and then we were allowed to check in. I swear the miserable female decided to get her own back on the pair of us – she gave us our boarding passes – no problem. The problem arose when we realised where we were seated – Right at the back of the aircraft – the last row of seats, meaning that we couldn’t recline the seats if we wanted!

Add into that it was a bloody long walk to the gate (a rugby scrum is more organised than that plane’s boarding system!) and you get the general idea.

The flight itself was uneventful (and bloody boring – thank god for having a decent book to read – Trudi Canavan’s Black Magician trilogy – book 1 – the Magician’s Guild)

Once in the air, I lost count of the number of times that the trolleys went up and down the aisle (and as the galley was at the back – right behind the seats that Mum and I had been assigned (we were the poor mugs right by the aisle!)) we soon got fed up with them barging past us the whole time.

Thankfully, the weather in Madeira made up for it, and the transfer was relatively smooth to our hotel. We were staying in the old part of town – away from the so-called hotel zone in the west of Funchal.

The hotel itself (the Porto Santa Maria) was very nice (see http://www.portostamaria.com/index/pb/portosantamaria.html) and proved to be a perfect base to start our exploration of the island.

Time to call this quits – we’ve got visitors.

Back later…

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

When I've sat by the window, and gazed at the rain...

I’m a little calmer today, but not that much. Mum and I went shopping today, to get the last minute bits and pieces that we need four our holiday to Madeira (we fly out from Birmingham airport at 08:00 on Monday morning).

I will admit to being reluctant to go out, as all I wanted to do was curl up in bed, and cry my heart out; because it was the first night I’d spent without Ponto snoring contentedly in my room.

Ok – I know I’ve had weekends away, but since I found out just how ill he was, I stayed at home as much as my job would allow and spend the nights with him snuggled up next to me in my bed.

But, over the past week or so, he seemed to be struggling to breathe, so I got an old pillow, folded it up, and made sure that he had his head resting on it, so that he could breathe.

Even now, as I sit typing my blog up, I miss the furry little fiend, as he used to lie on top of my computer (or printer – depending on how annoying he wanted to be) and snore – just enough to drown out whatever music I was foolish enough to try and listen to on my computer.

I know there will be people calling me a bloody fool because I’m so cut up about Ponto. Yes, he was just a cat, but he was with me for a good part of my life – 13 years – and took great delight in disapproving of practically all the people I decided to see. (I almost wish that I’d listened to him at times – I might have saved myself an awful lot of heartache!)

So, I guess this is my requiem for a cat:

Farewell my furry fiend
May there be things for you to terrorise and chase
And a welcoming pair of arms to cuddle you when you want them

May there be a warm bed waiting for you
And a plate of something nice to eat
Complete with a pint of Channel Islands milk to wash it all down with

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Goodbye my pussy cat

I can hardly see through my tears as I type this. Ponto has been put to sleep, and died quietly in my arms this evening.

I’m sorry – I can’t type anymore.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Reaching the end of the road?

This evening has been one of the most emotionally draining I’ve ever had the misfortune to experience.

John (the vet who deals with Fred and Ponto) made a house call tonight, to see how Ponto is, as he agreed that it would be less stressful to all concerned if Ponto wasn’t put into the cat carrier, and came out like a furry atom bomb – complete with the teeth and claws of a small Siberian tiger!

But that doesn’t mean that Ponto doesn’t get things all his own way. John might be daft enough to agree to a home visit, but he still brings the little muzzle and booties for the cat.

He examined Ponto, and then broke the news. He wants to see him again on Friday night, and has said that Ponto is fast approaching the end, and that he will start suffering.

I will admit to being in denial (and still am as I type this entry) as Ponto was double teaming with Fred yesterday – they were playing tag and generally terrorising the life out of one of the local dogs – it was quite funny to watch the pair of them and you would not have thought that there was anything wrong with Ponto at all.

So, until Friday arrives, all I can do is cuddle Ponto and make sure that he is spoilt rotten, and hopefully, make him realise that he means the world to me.

Time to call this quits – I need to get some sleep tonight – as I can see that the next couple of days will fly past – especially as I’ve got to make sure that my understudy knows what the hell he has to do, when it comes to dealing with my OTR work…

Back tomorrow if I get the chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Starting the day with a smile or two….

Ok – I apologise in advance if people have seen these jokes before, but they made me grin!

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

*************************************************

The Koala and the Little Lizard




A koala is sitting up in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says

"Hey Koala! What are you doing?"
The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."



So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.

After a while, the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned, and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says

"Hey you!"




So the koala looks down at him and says:



"Fuckin’ hell dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"

*************************************************

Two Scots, Angus and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's forthcoming wedding.


"Ach, it's all going grand," says Jock. "I've got everything organised already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night...


Angus nods approvingly. "Havens, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jock.


"A kilt?" exclaims Angus, "That's braw, you'll look pure smart in that! "And what's the tartan?" Angus then enquires.


"Och," says Jock, "I'd imagine she'll be in white..."

Getting dragged shopping...

Is a real pain in the behind. But, when it's Julian doing the dragging, it's even worse.

He's a major pain in the butt when it comes to shopping, and can make my life absolutely hell, as he knows damned well that I am most comfortable in jeans and a top.

But, because I've got my cousin's weeding (sorry - wedding) he's decided to "assist" (read for that bully) me into changing my wardrobe into something a little more suitable.

OK - in theory, maybe that's not such a bad thing, but he seems intent on winding me up, as he knows damned well that there are certain styles / colours I will not even consider, so he makes a beeline for them!

Equally, I was a bit miffed when he vetoed a shirt that I'd been eyeing up for absolutely ages - because he said that the colour wasn't right for me!

I will admit to grumping, but when I held it up to myself, I saw what he meant - the only thing that it would go with in my wardrobe was my black work trousers! So I grudgingly admitted that he was correct, and continued shopping.

He also said that there were a couple of things I need to get for a weekend away at the end of November.

What I got shall remain hidden until the weekend in question, simply because the person whom I am going with reads my blog, and I want it to be a surprise... The only thing that I will reveal is that the colour is listed as Gold...


Guess I should call this quits - I've still got stuff do today - including mowing the lawn...

Back tomorrow I guess.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Repeating a scare?

Ever had a feeling of déjà vu? Well, my best friend had that horrible feeling today.

How do I know? Simple. He sent me the following e-mail:

Sorry Kaz

Something’s come up I gotta go
My Mum’s been taken back into hospital this morning I’ll contact you later when I can ok and I’ll let you know what’s going on

Not the sort of e-mail I wanted to receive, and I will admit to wondering how he was… or at least I did until I spoke to him whilst I was on my lunch break.

I sent him a message saying that I was on lunch and that if he wanted to talk, then I was around.

No sooner had I sent the message, I got reply saying that he wanted to talk… He’d been unable to see his Mum in the hospital but had spoken to his Dad who said that this problem seemed to have started last Thursday night.

My friend was (and still is) less than impressed but agreed with me when I said that his Mum was in the best place if (God forbid) anything did happen.

As I type this, I will admit that my thoughts and prayers are with him and his family, as I know only too well the pain that losing a parent can cause.

Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I’ve got work to do – not that I’ve got any interest at the moment…

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Laying a ghost to rest

Well, I’ve seen my ex-fiancé and I refrained from laying him out in the middle of Oxford. I will admit that I was somewhat apprehensive about meeting him, but I will admit to being glad that Julian was with me, as it made things a little easier for me.

My ex wasn’t too keen on the fact that Julian was there, and even asked if we could talk somewhere on our own. Not a chance of that, as I was unwilling to give him the option of sweet-talking me into getting back with him – which he had managed to do in the past.

I should have known better
But I trusted you at first
I should have know better
But I got what I deserved
 
So, he seemed to sulk a bit, and then started saying how much he missed me, and how much he wanted us to get back together and that things would be better for the pair of us.

A little late for all the things you didn't say
I'm not sad for you
But I'm sad for all the time I had to waste
'Cause I learned the truth

Don’t ask me how I managed to stop myself exploding – but I think that Julian’s hand squeezing my elbow had something to do with it… I politely pointed out that he was the one who had forced my hand by insisting within a matter of days of Dad’s death, that I leave my job and move down south.

No warning of such a sad song
Of broken hearts My dreams of fairy tales and fantasy, oh
Were torn apart

That seemed to go down like a lead balloon, and I made sure that he realised there was no hope of us getting back together, as I reminded him that my life had changed for the better since I’d split up with him – and I was (and am) so much happier without him interfering with my life.

I lost my peace of mind
Somewhere along the way
I knew there's come a time
You'd hear me say I'm sick and tired
Of always being sick and tired

When I left, he looked like a puppy that had been kicked, but I knew damned well that if I’d shown the slightest bit of sympathy, then I was done for as he would just sucker me back into seeing him again – and this time – I want nothing more to do with him.

But, for now, I'm an awful lot happier than I was before I saw him, and I'm beginning to wonder why I let the b'stard wind me up so much.

More to the point, I've come to the conclusion that I am 100% better off without him in my life, and if he tries to contact me again... Well I might just have to resort to my original choice - laying him out cold!

Your heart is in a place I no longer wanna be
I knew there'd come a day I'd set you free

Guess I should call this quits – I’ve got stuff to sort out around the house…

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Tired of being kicked

Why is it, that whenever I try to help someone out, I end up being kicked in the guts?

Simply because a colleague was away, I was doing the lion’s share of her work, and hadn’t been given the relevant information about some spreadsheet or other that was supposed to be filled in on a daily basis. Not that the spreadsheet in question was anything to do with me – someone else was ‘supposed’ to be responsible for that.

'Cause I'm too proud, I'm too strong
Live by the quote that you gotta move on
Feeling sorry for yourselfAin’t got nobody nowhere

 However, the person in question failed to tell me what he needed, so muggings here is the one who gets the kicking. Because if I tell the truth (as in the other person is a bone-idle b’stard who lumbered me with nearly all the damned work) it will look like I’m trying to lump all the blame onto this other person.

Took so long to get me here
But I won't live in fear
You try to steal my shine
But first they wanna build you up
Then they tear you down
It's a struggle, you try to bubble

So, all I can do is swallow my pride and take the grumping that is coming my way, and all because someone failed to give me all the information that I required… But, from the sounds of things, at least I didn’t screw the spreadsheet up – that was someone else’s screw up – and not that I’m gloating. Much.

Ah well, suppose I should think about doing some work, but I’m suffering from TNFI…

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Being scared, and put off dinner!

I guess the title says it all. I went to see Snakes on a Plane last night with Julian – and yes – it was just as I expected – a ‘leave your brain at the cinema door’ type of film.

However, despite that, it was a really good film and a couple of times I did jump – and I was more than impressed with the special effects – to the extent that I've decided to get this film on DVD.

I thought Julian was scared by the film in a couple of places (well if the bruises on my left arm are anything to go by) even thought he denied it afterwards…

We had planned to go to Frankie & Bennies afterwards, but neither of us could face eating – it probably had something to do with a couple of scenes in the film…

Ah well, guess I should get on with some work, but I’m really suffering from a case of TNFI…

Back when I get the chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Taking on more than my fair share...?

Well, at this moment in time, I feel like I've been steam-rolled into looking after yet another national account - and all because the person responsible hasn't turned up for the past week or so.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind if I've been asked by the person but this seems to have been dropped onto my lap, as no-one else appears to be interested in doing anything at all.

Normally, that's not a problem for me, but at this moment in time, I've got more than enough to keep me out of mischief - on both a professional and personal front!

So, something somewhere is going to have to give way a little - and I'm going to make sure that other people start taking on some of my workload, as there is only so much I can do before my own work starts to suffer - and given that I've put in too many damned hours to get most of my roles sorted - it ain't going to be MY work!

Time to call this quits - I'm going to head for lunch - and make sure that no-one can get hold of me!

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

A stressless existance? Not around here!

Not a good day today. I came close to losing it in the office because I was feeling like crap (I find that very little sleep tends to do that to me now) and I was wound up - well past my normal tolerance levels.

It didn't help me when my friend called me and was really sweet - all that did was push me even closer to the edge, and I will admit to being a little bit short / sharp on the 'phone when I spoke to him.

There's so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones

Add into that, I got piled up with paperwork and you begin to get the general idea. OK - I don't think that the issues in my private life are really helping, but it's very rare that I get so stressed out that it starts to affect me at work.

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

'Till then I'll walk alone

I know one thing - the sooner that I get this over and done with, the happier I'm going to be as it will mean that I can get on with my life, without having to look over my shoulder the whole damned time, wondering what the hell is going to come and splatter my confidence all over the walls yet again.

Ah well, time to call this quits - I've go to get shifting as I've got stuff to do before I call it quits here tonight...

Back tomorrow.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Starting the week off with a smile...

I make no apologies for this joke - it made me smile.

Enjoy.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

*************************************************

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out.

She went to the Western Wall and there he was walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane in a very slow fashion, she approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a bloody wall."

Hoping to lay a ghost to rest...

Well, the furry fiends have been fed, and are now sleeping off their munchies on my bed - which doesn't bother me that much as it means that I get peace and quiet for a while...

That means that I've been able to concentrate on the one problem that's been bugging me all weekend - my ex-fiancé.

He called me after I'd fed the cats, and much to his surprise, I answered the call. He somehow managed to refrain from making any sarcastic comments, as the last time he did, I put the 'phone down on him.

You say I’m heartless
And you say I don't care
I used to be there for you
And you've said I seem so dead, that I have changed
But so have you

I've agreed to meet him on neutral territory - Oxford - on Saturday in order to sort things out between us once and for all. Why he's so insistent on meeting up with me is a mystery to me, but I'm not dumb enough to fall for his charms - the old saying once bitten, twice shy is only too relevant where he's concerned.

You've been so thoughtless
I can see right through you
You used to be there for me
So don't you leave say goodbye
Cause you have changed but so have I

Equally, I've not been daft (or dumb) enough to go and meet him on my own. Julian has said that he'll come with me - I get the impression that he's terrified that I might do something I regret - like laying him out cold in the middle of Oxford.

Tempting as that might well be, he's really not worth the trouble, and all I want to do is shatter any and all illusions about the chances of us two getting back together. As I've said in a previous post - that will happen when Satan starts ordering winter woollies and antifreeze.

I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore

Until then, all I can do is make it plain that any discussions can wait until Saturday - I don't want to give him the impression that I'm considering anything where he's concerned - apart from the possibility of the best location to bury the hatchet. My personal preference would be right between his shoulder blades! *Grin*

Time to call this quits - I want some peace and quiet tonight, as it's back to the grindstone for me tomorrow...

Back tomorrow if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Back from Stratford, and still fighting a ghost

Well, I'm back from Stratford. It was lovely to see my friend and his family - and it made a change for it to be on my "home" turf for once!

I was able to show them around Stratford and show them around the various places without getting ripped off by the various places and also went around the Teddy Bear museum. (See http://www.theteddybearmuseum.com/index.htm)

Yes - I dragged a big burly biker around the Teddy Bear museum. Whilst he was looking at something, I took the chance to go and buy him a teddy - it was really sweet and had a little long sleeve t-shirt on, with Friends Forever on it.

We then went for lunch in the Weatherspoons pub, and whilst we were sitting down, I gave him the bear - much to his embarrassment - and I was told that I shouldn't have bought it. Yes I should - I fell for it, and thought that it would be a nice way to remember the trip to Stratford.

Who knew the other side of you?
Who knew the hardest time to prove?
Too true to say good bye to you
Too true to say say say...

However - there was one dark cloud for me. My 'phone kept ringing and chiming with various messages - and I will admit to being more than a little dismayed when I saw who they were from.

Rather than let them spoil a nice day for us all, I ended up turning my 'phone off until I was on my own, and then made sure that once I had sorted things out with my friend, I ignored any other calls / messages that came in.

OK - I know that my friend will be upset when he realises why I was so quiet towards the end of the day, but the messages and calls were really starting to affect me, and I'm beginning to think about changing my mobile number again - if only to stop the calls and texts.

But, the trouble is, I know that if I do that, then there will be calls and messages left on my home answerphone, which will upset Mum - and that's the last thing that I want to happen.

So, I guess that I'm going to have to confront this problem and sort things out once and for all - and make it plain that I want nothing to do with him what-so-ever, and hopefully, he'll take the hint without me having to resort to physical means.

Time to call this quits - I've got to feed the furry fiends, and the pair of them are sitting in the study glaring at me, as I'm ignoring them in favour of updating my blog!

Back when I get the chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

I want that Pug!!

The Peugeot 207. what can I say apart from - I want that car so badly it hurts!!!

It's truly an awesome car, and I freely admit being VERY reluctant to hand it back to the dealer. So, all I have to do now is wait and see what the new models bring, as the one that I drove was a manual (and I don't mind admitting that my left leg aches after using the clutch - something that my tiptronic auto doesn't have.)

The run to Bridgemere Garden World was a doddle - the car had more than enough power to get me out of trouble (as well as into trouble - I was accused of playing chicken with a 44 ton lorry - as if I would be daft enough to do that! *Grin*)

Once we were at Bridgemere, I found that the car was easy to park and had a good sized boot - big enough to get 120l of compost, assorted plants and other bits into it without much of a struggle.

The car also proved very flexible when it came to driving in town, as I was dropping Julian and his partner back home, and once again, I found it a comfortable car to drive.

OK - I admit that the model I was driving was a tad on the basic side, and I would have added a few extra bits and pieces to it, but on the whole, I think that Peugeot has come up with a little gem as far as I'm concerned.

I guess that the only thing that I can grumble about is that the car is actually bigger than the 206 - it's almost the same size as the old Peugeot 306, but despite that, it still felt nimble and responsive.

Time to call this quits - I need to get some sleep, as I'm meeting up with my daft hog riding friend and his family tomorrow...

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Being haunted by a ghost from the past

What is it about me and control freaks? I seem to attract them and then seem to have even more trouble shaking them off. OK – let me rephrase that. The control freak in question is my ex-fiancé to be precise.

The last time I saw him, I threatened to do him some serious physical harm if he tried to contact me, and for the past 12 months or so, that threat seemed to keep him well away from me.

But, either I’m losing my touch, or he’s grown braver and has started trying to contact me again – which has really upset me.

He called me earlier today, asking me how I was, how Mum was and making it sound like the events that lead up to the threat never happened. Ok – maybe he thinks that I’ll have forgotten or more to the point forgiven him, but that will happen when Satan starts ordering winter woollies and antifreeze.

So, me being me, tried to make it plain (without resorting to offensive language or putting the ‘phone down on him) that the contact was unwelcome, and that I had nothing to say to him.

I would have thought that my lack of enthusiasm for the conversation would have given him the idea that I really didn’t want anything to do with him, but he seems to have all the empathy of a brick – without the use.

I'm outta love
Set me free
And let me out this misery
Just show me the way to get my life again
'Cause you can't handle me
(I said) I'm outta love
Can't you see
Baby that you gotta set me free
I'm outta love

 So, in the end, I resorted to the old stand-by that my 'phone battery was dying, and that I would have to call it quits. He seemed a little miffed, and I thought that it would be the last I heard from him.

Boy, did I get that one wrong. He kept trying to call me all day today, which resulted in me turning my 'phone off, as all it was doing was winding me up, not to mention upsetting me on a day when I could have really done without it.

Time to call this quits - I've got to take the 207 back to Arbury Peugeot...

Back with a full review of the Peugeot...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Rough Language

Please excuse the rough language in the following story...

I don't write them, I just post them.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

*************************************************

A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

"Well," said her mother,"so how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home..., PLEASE MAMA!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"

"Darling, baby, you must! tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama... He used words like: dust, wash, iron, cook..."

"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.

How smart are you....?

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.

Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

If you do not know, scroll down to see answer below.


















Get your drunken ass off the merry-go-round!

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Looking forward to a weekend...

And what a weekend it promises to be! I've booked myself a 24hr test drive in the new Peugeot 207, which starts at 18:00 tonight and runs until 18:00 tomorrow night, and then Sunday, I'm meeting up with my daft hog riding friend and his family in Stratford.

Tomorrow is the busier of the two days in terms of the distances I'll be traveling, as I'm going up to a garden centre in Cheshire - Bridgemere Garden World (see http://www.bridgemere.co.uk/index.htm) with Julian and his partner, as they want to get some plants for their garden.

Ok - I know that it sounds crazy, but the theory behind it states that you should buy plants from a garden centre / nursery further north as the plants will be used to harsher conditions, and so will thrive in a southern garden.

So, that means a blast up the M6 (a motorway I hate - most of the drivers on that road are idiots - and I think I might be being a tad unkind to the idiots) on the way there, then a trip down the scenic route through Rugeley and Litchfield, so that I get an idea of how I get on with the car and more to the point, if I'm interested enough to give it serious consideration when I come to swap my 206.

Sunday however, promises to be quite a different kettle of fish... I got a text message from my daft friend at some unearthly time this morning (I think it was about 00:35) asking what I was doing this weekend.

So, as I was already awake (Ponto had decided to stick his sharp little claws into me as he stretched in his sleep - furry little fiend!) I sent a reply saying that I was busy tomorrow (Saturday) but I was free on Sunday...

He then sent me a reply saying that he was thinking about heading up to Stratford, and said that it would be nice to meet up, as I was "local" and know which tourist traps to avoid as a matter of course, plus I can give the "insiders" knowledge - daft little rules like there are no thatched houses within the town perimeter due to a devastating fire in the late 1600s.

Ok - I know that sounds daft, but at the time, it made sense as the river Avon runs through the town at the bottom end. Aside from that, I know quite a bit of useless local information...

Guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - not blogging!

Back when I get the chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Just a couple of jokes...

These little gems were sent to me by an American friend - who has a very twisted sense of humour... Many thanks big guy!

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

*************************************************

Boudreaux, a Cajun highlander from Rapides Parish in central Louisiana,was an older, single gentleman, who was born and raised a Baptist, living in South Louisiana. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook the most wonderful venison steak.

Now, all of Boudreaux's neighbors were Catholic... And since It was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Fridays. The STRONG delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally went to their priest.

The priest came to visit Boudreaux, and suggested that Boudreaux Convert to Catholicism. After several classes and much study, Boudreaux attended Mass and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are Catholic."

Boudreaux's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the whole neighborhood.

The priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Boudreaux's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped in amazement and watched.

There stood Boudreaux, clutching a small bottle of water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat, and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, and you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish!"

*************************************************

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

"Uh...yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. Yo u see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm al lowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my Life."

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked."I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.

"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.

After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?"

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

"No kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"

Something to brighten a gloomy day...

Occasionally, you get a real gem of a joke... And this is one of them..

Enjoy.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

*************************************************

A little boy blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something. The boy continues. "Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something." He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.

Johnny starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet. Mom comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.

When she's finished she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.

When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing.

Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.

"Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.

He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !"


You're laughing aren't you.. I know you are!!!

Happier times ahead for one, sadness ahead for another

Well, it looks like my daft hog riding friend has made his decision. He's taken the role that he was offered, and has admitted that it was a stark choice - either he took this role or he looked for another job.

But, at the end of the day, as long as he's happy (ok - make that happier than he was) - that's all that I really care about, as I hated hearing him so down.

On a more personal note, I had to take the Pont back to the vet tonight, and it looks like the end is closing in for him. I've got to take him back to the vet's once a week, so that they can monitor him, and I've been told that Ponto has weeks as opposed to months left.

I will admit I was devastated when I was given this news, especially when I think of all the happy times that the cat and I have been through - not to mention all the fun that we've had causing havoc together. Plus, I don't know how Fred (my other cat) is going to cope, as he seems to look to Ponto as his role model. (God help the poor little sod!)

So, all I can do is make sure that he's not suffering (he seems quite capable of beating up a dog when he's in the mood) and give him all the fuss and attention that he deserves.

Time to call this quits - I need to get some sleep.

Back when I get the chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Looking to the future...

Well, it looks like to day is D-Day for my daft hog riding friend. For the past few months, he's been agonising over what to do do with regards to his job, as he's admitted that he's getting to the stage that he just wants to leave.

He's been offered a slightly different role withing the company, and has admitted that he's not sure if it's what he really wants, as it means that he will be spending more time in the office, and less time going out on the road to see customers and setting up new accounts for them.

Instead, he'll be working with existing customers, improving relations with them and generally making sure that they're happy with the service that they are recieving.

By his own admission, he's not sure if he's really up for this role, and has said that it's going to take a lot of talking through and thinking about, as it could have a big impact on his life.

At the end of the day, he's the only one that can make the decision - all people like me can do is provide a shoulder to lean on, and an ear to bend as and when needed....

Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - not blogging....

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Recovering from the weekend...

What can I say about the weekend, apart from WOW!

It was the sort of weekend that you dream of having - even if there were a couple of scares - including me scraping a wasp out of my hair - without realising what the damned thing was!

Saturday, Mum and I went to the Town & Country festival at Stoneleigh, and as Mum had a motability scooter, it meant that I was able to walk at my normal pace, knowing full well that Mum was able to keep up with me.

I should have guessed that things were going to go right for me, when I found the last two pieces of a set of Beswick Thelwell figures..

The figure on the left was the one that I liked (I can't find a picture of the one that Mum bought for my birthday - she's always stuck what to get me!) So, that means that I now have the complete set of the unlimited edition figures, as I always disliked the limited edition figures...


Aside from that, we managed to get all sorts of silly bits and pieces - including a hematite necklace for me, and a new handbag. Yes, I've heard all the jokes about women and their handbags - but this was quite reasonable, and will be really useful for me as it's big enough to get my various bits and pieces into...

But, the highlight of the day was the Battle of Britain memorial flight - two Spitfires and one of the two Lancaster Bombers still flying! It was a real treat to see them flying, and they did about four fly-pasts over the showground. I was cursing the fact that I didn't have my camera, as I would have loved to have taken some photos of them in flight, but the memories of the noise and the actual sight of the planes flying will stay with me for a long time...

Sunday was a quieter day, as Mum and I had planned to do very little. Ok - plan and reality had very little in common, but I manage to complete my wedding outfit by getting a rather simple, yet bold camisole from the same shop as my suit.

Today. A different kettle of fish altogether. Mum and I went to Derbyshire to a couple of these so-called outlet villages.. Mum wanted to get some shoes - Fly-flots - and suggested that I had a look as well, as she said that she found hers very comfortable...

So did I - and I ended up buying two pairs - one pair of black toe post sandals (ok - posh flip-flops) and a paid of ajustable mules with diamante detailing in a powder blue... I also managed to get a pair of loafers - something I have been searching for high and low, as I refused to pay £50+ for a pair of shoes that I wasn't very keen on...

I will admit, I did enjoy the driving as I'd volunteered to do so, due to the fact that I wanted Mum map-reading / navigating as well as speed camera spotting as I had no intention of getting nabbed for speeding...

Time to call this quits - I'm shattered, and all I want to do is curl up and sleep!

Back tomorrow...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Just a little something...

This was sent to me by a friend of mine (who shall remain anonymous, to protect the allegedly innocent), as he said that he's been tempted to / has managed to try out most of the things on this list - and his wife doesn't know....!

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

More jokes...

It looks like today is going to be one of those days when the jokes flow thick and fast... It could be something to do with the fact that it's the August Bank Holiday weekend here in the UK and people seem to be in the mood to chill and send silly stuff - including my friends in the USA...!

So, I make no appologies for these jokes - they've made me smile...

Bubba and Ray (Arkansas mechanical engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder,"

The blonde took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.


Ray shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde!? We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"

The other joke was this one...

The Pentagon Plan USRSF

[No endorsement intended]

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation ofa new 500-man elite fighting unit called theUnited States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).

These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, West Virginia, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas and Louisiana boys, will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Making a muppet of someone

There's nothing like being able to prove a colleague wrong - especially when the colleague in question takes great delight in taking the mikey out of me...

I recieved an e-mail asking me why a customer hadn't recieved some tyres, when they had allegedly been ordered... Simple. Because the tyres in question had been sent to another customer!

Ok - I know it's nasty to gloat at someone-else's expense, but just occasionally, it's nice to be able to pull the rug out from under this guy's feet, and bring him down to my level...

I mean, the standing joke amongst those people who know the pair of us, is that when we fight (verbally I hasten to add) we don't go toe to toe - we go eyeball to kneecap - and he backs down... No idea why... *Grin*

Ah well, enough gloating - I suppose I should get on with some w*rk...

Back later if I get chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Jokes that make you smile

Occasionally, you get a real barnstormer of a joke, that just has to get shared with friends and relatives... This joke is a good example of it, and I just couldn't resist posting it.

Enjoy.

Karen

Learnng to fly, but I don't have wings

*************************************************

I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

This looks a good film....

Ok - call me sick / twisted or anything like that, but the film Snakes on a Plane really appeals to me.

It's the sort of film that doesn't really require much concentration - and has been described as "one of those films where you take your brain out and leave it at the cinema door."

I know I'm not normally one to rave about a film, but it's got one of my favorite actors in it (Samuel L Jackson) and it looks like something that should be a lot of fun..

Time to call this quits - I'm on lunch in a couple of minutes...

Back when I get the chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Getting Amber's print...

Well, I decided against getting the print for Amber. Ok - let me re-phrase it - Julian said that it was "bonkers" to spend so much on a print for Amber... In a way, I can see his point, but I still like it myself, so I might well get the print for me!

But, I've not given up on the idea of getting a decent Concorde picture for Amber.. I found a reasonable price print on a website I stumbled across whilst web-surfing, called All Posters. (See http://www.allposters.co.uk/)

The print is called Supersonic Countess (See http://affiliates.allposters.com/link/redirect.asp?item=350351&AID=423786166) and is a lot more reasonable at £26 (including the post & packing) The only thing I'll have to do is get the print framed and then it's ready to give to Amber for her birthday... But, that's not an issue as I know a good gallery who have done several framings for Julian in the past and I'm more than happy with their work...

Guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - and I'm suffering from TNFI as per the norm!

Back later if I get the chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Distant rumblings

I’m not a happy little tigger. My insurance company has refused to issue a statement of no-claims, as they said that their system wouldn’t allow them to issue it until such time as the policy had expired.

Thanks a bunch. That means that I can’t insure my car with another insurance company, as they won’t release the statement. Thankfully, the new insurer has said that if I provide them with my policy number, and a contact name, then they can get the confirmation over the ‘phone, and can get the ball rolling for me.

Add into the mixture that I’m in a tremendous amount of pain (and the bloody pain killers aren’t working) and you get one pissed off tigger.

Nevertheless, there is one bright spot – I’ve been able to get my hospital appointment moved from the 23rd of November to the 12th of October.

I pointed out that the consultant had asked to see me in September and that the November appointment was far from convenient. So, amazingly, I was offered an appointment the beginning of October, but that was smack bang in the middle of my holiday.

But that doesn't help me with the pain, so I guess that it means that I shoud go and see my GP to see what they can do to help, as I'm getting really fed up.

Suppose I should get on with some w*rk, but I'm suffering from TNFI...

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

This was too good....

This was sent to me at work - and I just couldn't resist posting it!!!



Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Where do I turn now???

That's how I'm feeling at this moment in time. My shoulder has gotten to the stage where I'm finding it difficult to drive into work, let alone do a longer trip - such as Hemel Hempstead, and it's really getting me down, not to mention upsetting my best mate.

I know it sounds like I'm complaining - and this time I am. I'm getting fed up with being palmed off by the sawbones with yet another cortisone jab (which makes my arm swell up - not to mention makes me feel like crap for a couple of days.) Add into the mixture the mere fact that in the past 14 days, I've had to have my shoulder re-aligned by the physio, and you begin to get the picture.

Why am I ranting today? Simple. I've had to call Warwick Hospital to see why my appointment has been changed from 07/09/06 to 23/11/06, and I've yet to get a satisfactory answer.

All I've been told is that the system generated the letter, and yet I know damned well that the system will only generate a new appointment if someone goes in and makes a physical change to the appointment.

And I'd like to know on what gounds such a change has been made, because at the end of the day, I'm the poor bugger that's having to put with the results of the so called system.

Time to call this quits - I'm supposed to be working, not blogging.

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

When the pieces start to fit...

That's how I feel after spending a weekend in Hemel with my best friend. I'd agreed to go and see him and his family and the idea was that I would aim to get to the service area on the A41 (yes - the same one that I overshot when I went down there the first time!) for about 15:30 on Saturday afternoon...

As luck would have it, I got clear of the hairdresser's a lot faster than I'd expected (almost as if someone had whispered in Paul's ear that I wanted to get moving) and so was able to let my friend know that I was clear a lot earlier than expected!

He was still at Thames Valley Harley Davidson getting the bike sorted out, and finding out the reason that the bike has an oil leak... The engine cowling is very slightly distorted, thus allowing the bike to leak...

So, I had plenty of time to get something to eat before heading home to grab a shower (simply because I was covered in short hairs from my haircut, and they were driving me scatty.)

That meant that I was on the road south at 13:15! It was a reasonable run south, and I will admit to having a little bit of a heavy right foot whilst I was on the M40 (like about 85mph...)

But that was before I got to the roadworks - which have got a heavily enforced 50mph speed limit - the rotten sods have nasty speed cameras on that section - and I had no intention of getting nicked for speeding!

I called my friend as agreed when I was in Aylesbury (the message was along the lines of ... I'm Aylesbury, and they're all trying to kill me - they keep aiming at me!) and as I didn't hear anything, assumed that he was still on the bike.

I kept on heading towards Hemel, and I will admit to keeping the car under the speed limit - as in I was doing 60mph instead of the usual 75 - 80 mph, as I wasn't sure where the service turn was..

I could recall that it was after a bridge and on a downhill stretch, but that wasn't a lot of help as most of the road is downhill, and there were quite a few bridges...

The turning came up, and I was muttering darkly about the sharpness of the turning, as it meant that I was having to brake and steer at the same time - not a good move, considering the fact that I'm not really happy with the tyres on my car... But, as I pulled into the car park, I had a lovely surprise... My friend was there, complete with the bike!

He was really surprised, and said that he'd only just finished putting his stuff in the boxes on the bike, and had just been about to call me. He said that I must have been hammering it from Aylesbury, and didn't believe me when I said that I'd been taking it easy...

I will admit to laughing, and we headed to his home, with him leading. I could tell he was enjoying being out on the bike, and decided to give up when he gave the bike a bit of throttle.

Ok - it's a big bike, but the power to weight ratio still wipes the floor with the Peugeot (much as it galls me to admit it!), and he also did his favorite thing - he opened the throttles on the bike when we were going under two bridges which form a semi tunnel..

I could hear the roar of the engine over my stereo and I was less than impressed - I much prefer listening to Gary Moore without the accompaniment of a Harley engine!

We got to his home, and I parked the car on the lawn (his suggestion before I get comments about female drivers!) and was able to veg out before we went to the speedway. . .

Because I'd started to relax, my shoulder decided that it was time to remind me that I'd over done things, and started to hurt like hell. So, I took a couple of pain killers and didn't think anymore of it - until I realised that they weren't working!

Speedway. What can I say apart from WOW! My friend had described it as a minute of pure lunacy - and he wasn't wrong! It was a good meeting, with the home team winning quite comfortably.

The trip back after the speedway wasn't very comfortable for me, but that was because the painkillers weren't working, and I will admit to trying to meditate on the way back in order to quieten the pain...

It seemed to work a bit, and I was only too glad to be able to sit down without getting bounced around like a small rubber ball - the roads around Hemel leave a lot to be desired!

We sat chatting for a bit, and then I settled down to get what sleep I could, given the fact that I was in an awful lot of pain. I woke up at 03:00, and took some more pills, and was woken quite gently at about 09:00 by my friend.

He admitted that he was a bit apprehensive about waking me, as I apparently had my right hand curled into a fist, and he was worried I would take a swipe at him!

I went and had a shower, as my hair was sticking up and out in all directions, and then headed for the gallery in Wendover (see http://www.aceshigh-uk.com/) as there was a signing being done by one of the WWII bomber crews.

Whilst he was waiting to get the autographs, I made the most of the time and buzzed off to look for a print of Concorde for my god-sprog's birthday. The little munchkin has been on at me to get her a picture of Concorde ever since she spotted mine. But, the only problem is, mine is the one with the Red Arrows and Concorde, plus it's got all the autographs.

I found a couple of prints of commercial aircraft - a nice on of a B747-classic, and a B767 preparing for take-off, but I knew damned well that if I got either of those, then she would be disappointed, as it wasn't Concorde.

So, I asked if there were any prints available. There were, and the one I liked was £145. It's called Speedbird, and is by a good artist called Simon Atack. (See http://www.aceshigh-uk.com/pinfo/993)

Ok - not a problem if I had being buying the print for me, but Amber is only 5... So I will admit to having reservations about it, and decided to leave it until I'd spoken to Julian, who had said that he would go 50/50 with me on the cost of the print.

We left the gallery, and headed towards home, via the pub! We decided that it was too nice to sit inside, so we took our drinks outside, and sat talking...

We talked about various things, including making plans to get together in November to go 'round the Motorcyle museum in Birmingham (http://www.nationalmotorcyclemuseum.co.uk/), and if I get my way, the Museum of Road Transport in Coventry. (See http://www.transport-museum.com/)

We finished our pints, and went for a walk to see some horses that were in a near-by field. I'd got my stand by treat of polos with me, and unknown to me, whilst I was bribing the horses with polos, my friend was taking 'photos of me on his phone!

The rest of the afternoon passed in a haze of pain for me, as my shoulder was killing me, and I will admit to being uncertain about my ability to drive home. Thankfully, I was able to get home in one piece - even if I did stop in Banbury, as there is no-where safe on the A41 for you to stop and have a break..

So, I guess that this means that I've got to get my shoulder sorted out, but the weekend was a sucess for me in more ways than one - I've been to my first speedway meeting and sorted out things that were bothering me with someone I care for...

Suppose I'd better call this quits - I'm supposed to be working. Well, that's the theory anyway!

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Off to the Motorcycle Museum...

Mum and I have been on about going to the Motorcycle museum for a long time - well before Dad died! But, for whatever reason, we never managed to get around to it - until now.

So, we decided to make a trip up to the museum - and see what they had done to the museum since the devastating fire - and I was wondering if my favourite bike - Slippery Sam had survived...



The museum itself was as good (if not better) than I recalled it, and I have to say that the website doesn't really do the new displays justice... There were also little boxes attached to the wall for donations to help restore / replace some 250 bikes that were damaged or destroyed in the fire.

Whilst I was wandering around the museum, I had a message arrive on my 'phone from my daft hog riding friend..

Hi I bet you're sitting by the telly watching the GP. It's sunny here and I have a monster headache - all my own fault - too much to drink last night...

I sent a reply saying that I was at the motorcycle museum, and I got a surprise when I read the message that he'd sent back...

Oh I wanna go to the motorcyle museum. When you taking me then?

Excuse me - I didn't realise that was on the cards! But, given that he's been kind enough to invite me south again, I think it's the least that I can do is get him back up to my neck of the woods and show him around here...

Guess I should be thinking about doing some w*rk, but I'm suffering from TNFI again...

Back when I get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Leaving paw prints on your heart

What is it about a cat? They’re mercenary, aloof and in the case of the Pont, a thug.

However, having said that, he’s been a big part of my life and now he’s dying. It’s not going to be a quick death, but at least it’s going to be painless, according to the vet.

He’s suffering from heart failure, and I will admit to going to pieces when I found out. Despite this, the cat is his normal thuggish self, and seems to take great delight in beating up the neighbourhood dog population.

Last night, he didn’t seem his normal self, even to the extent that he was shivering. (I didn’t even realise that a cat *could* shiver!) So, I did something that I never normally do – I let him sleep under the quilt with me. He stopped shivering, but I didn’t have the heart to turf him out, so I let him stay where he was.

He was almost the perfect bedfellow – didn’t hog the quilt and didn’t invade my space, and snored. But, given the fact that he’s not a well kitty, I guess that I can let that little gripe go.

Mama take this badge off me,
I can't use it any more,
It's getting dark, too dark to see,
Feel I'm knocking on heaven's door.

Guess I should call this quits – I’m supposed to be doing some OTR work, but I’m really not in the mood to do anything…

Back later, if I get the chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

When a lonely heart breaks...

I sent a message to my best friend last night, and the reply I got really upset me, as I knew that there was not a damned thing I could do:

No, not at all - I can't stop crying just sitting in my car listening to my CD. Some songs **** me over tonight more than normal, due to a certain person. I'm hurting and hurting bad and it's all down to one person again. Am I such a bad person? I don't need this **** and I'm so lonely, I just want to be on my own and cry my heart out.
Sorry.

What the hell can you say to a text like that?? I sent a reply saying that I would be at the end of the 'phone if he needed to talk, and left it at that.

When the lonely heart breaks
It's the one that forsakes
It's the dream that we stole
And I'm missing you more
And the fire that will roar
There's a hole in my soul
For you it's goodbye
And for me it's to cry
For whom the bell tolls

 Well, he did take me up on the offer, and elaborated a bit more on the text message that he'd sent to me. It turned out that he was fed up with this one person taking him for granted all the time and that there were other things that were bothering him.

We ended the call as the pair of us needed to get some sleep, but he said that he would call me later today, and let me know that he was ok...

I will admit, hearing him so down really hurt me, and not for the first time, I wished that I was closed to him (in terms of a physical distance) so I could just say "sod it" and go and see him for a while - if only to make him realise that he's not on his own, and that there is someone out here who gives a damn about him.

Time to call this quits - I'm supposed to be working, not blogging.

Back when I get clear of all the crap (I mean work) on my desk....

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Post escape blues...

What is it about a great weekend that leaves you feeling so down?

I met up with my daft hog riding friend after several disasters that were beyond his control, which meant that when we did finally meet, it was a good couple hours later than we had originally planned.

He was more than a little miffed at first, but he seemed to chill out over a pint, and we got talking about various things and then we headed for our overnight stopping point.

We sat talking over dinner about various things, and I will admit wishing that I had answered one question honestly at the time of asking, instead of trying to avoid giving an honest answer, leaving me brooding over what I should have damned well said (which I think is causing me to have the post escape blues!)

Aside from that, the rest of the weekend seemed to go really well, and I know that from now on, whenever I go past a certain pub, I'll remember the weekend that I spent with someone I really care about, and would do anything to help...

Guess I should be doing some work, but to be honest, I really don't have any interest in anything at the moment...

Back when I get the chance...

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Planning another escape...

Well, the ball is rolling and I'm planning another escape. It's with my good friend, and if everything goes to plan, it should be a weekend to remember.

As it stands, I've got time to go and see my Godsprog and see how she's getting on with Kipper (her Shetland pony) as she keeps telling me how well she can get Kipper to do what she wants, and then go and get changed (so I don't stink of horse) and then head into Stratford to meet up with my friend...

Guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working, not blogging!

Back later if I get the chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

"I'd do better if I went to see my bloody VET!"

Needless to say, after the events of yesterday, I am less than happy with the treatment I've been recieving. Ok - I admit that I probably shouldn't be so damned stubborn about having my shoulder operated on, but I get the feeling that the sawbones doesn't have the foggiest what the hell is wrong with my shoulder, or what the best way to treat it it.

I should have guessed that things were going to go wrong, when I got to the hospital yesterday morning, only to be told that the appointment had been cancelled and I was due to attend the clinic on 20/06/06.

The mere fact that I'd not had a 'phone call or a letter went down like a ton of lead bricks, but the receptionist's attitude I couldn't fault. She was disgusted with the service, and said that she would get my notes for me, and make sure that I was seen during the clinic at the time I was supposed to have attended in the first place.

So, it was a case of sit down, and try to avoid the dreaded "numb bum" syndrome. I was called through to the clinic, and a very polite young medical student started taking notes about me and the shoulder problem. It would have been better for him if he'd bothered to read my notes properly, instead of just skimming over them, and missing most of the details.

The first thing that I noticed was the fact that he'd got my age wrong, then asked when I'd had the shoulder operated on. Score 0 points to the student. Once that was sorted, the senior registrar then deemed to see me.

Ok - he was pleasant enough, but when I realised that he was going to jab my shoulder, I wasn't too happy, but agreed to have the jab... That was when the fun started, and I seem to recall feeling really faint, then trying to stand up once the jab had been done, and everything then went black.

I came to, lying on my side on the examining couch, with the clinic's staff nurse looking very concerned. She asked if I had driven to the hospital (I wasn't that dumb - I had a feeling that I might go flat on my chops!)

I then said that I was supposed to go into work after the appointment, which was immediately vetoed, and I was only allowed to call the office provided that she was standing nearby, in case I decided to go and pass out again.

Once I'd made the call, I staggered back to the clinic, and spent the next hour or so, trying to convice the staff nurse that I was fit enought to leave, and that I wasn't dumb enough to try and go into work...

So, it was a case of get home,only to find that the letter from the outpatients appointment services had been delivered! That infuriated me and I was just in the right mood to call them. I spoke to a smarmy female, who gave me no explaination or apology, and said that she would cancel the appointment for 20/06/06, but would leave the one that I had just made for 07/09/06.

After I'd done that, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep - but I wasn't on my own, as the two furry fiends decided that I needed company, and curled up on the bed with me.

Don't get me wrong, I was grateful of their company, but I got a nip from the Pont, simply because I moved him from one side of the bed to the other - I didn't really want to have to climb over the cat if I was going to head to the bathroom to throw up!

Guess I should think about loging on to the system, so I can do some work...

Back when I get the chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Back to the sawbones... and still no joy.

As I type this, I am in agony, so it's going to be a very brief post.

Suffice to say that I've been back to the sawbones, had yet another cortisone shot in the joint, and have gone sick as I passed out.

Back tomorrow - I'm starting to feel really sick again...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Worrying for a friend...

Well, my daft hog riding friend is safely back in the UK, but he seems to have draw an unlucky straw...

His Mum hasn't been too well recently, and I will admit to wondering what was wrong, until I got the following message from him:

Sorry I ain't been in touch - my Mum's not well again and back to hospital. Speak soon...

As soon as I read that, my heart sank, and I sent him a message to say that I was thinking of him, and hoped that his Mum was ok...

The reply that I got nearly caused me to burst into tears...

Just read your message - it's made me cry. It should be me that is thanking you for being my friend - I have never had a friend like you ever, and I never ever want to lose you. God bless you and thanks for the strength x

But the message I got this evening really scared me. I got a message from him, asking me to call him as soon as I could - I did so, and the news was not something I wanted to hear. His Mum had suffered a heart attack, and he was racing down the M1 to get to the hospital in north London, where she had been taken to.

I will admit it was a brief conversation, as he wanted to keep his 'phone free so that his Dad could call him if need be, and I asked him to let me know that he was at the hospital safe, and if he could, just let me know how his Mum was...

He sent me a quick message to say that he was at the hospital ok, and I will admit to not being able to sleep until I heard my 'phone chirp. I'd got a message from my friend.

It turned out that his Mum was going to have bypass surgery, and that it had been somewhat touch and go, but that she was in the best place that she could be.

Ok - I admit that at this moment in time, there's not a lot I can do, but if I can provide a shoulder to lean on, it should (I hope) make things a little easier for him to bear...

Through these fields of destruction
Baptism of fire
I've witnessed all your suffering
As the battles raged higher
And though they did hurt me so bad
In the fear and alarm
You did not desert me
My brothers in arms

Time to call this quits - I need to be seen to be doing some work - not blogging!

Back later if I get the chance...

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings