I went into Coventry on Saturday with Mum for a haircut, and as my appointment was 11:30, it meant that I had time to wander 'round the shops.
Fine in theory, but in practice, not really a good idea. The city seemed to be dying, and the city planners don't seem to be interested in reviving the heart. I know they have all these plans to revitalise things, but whether anything comes of it remains to be seen.
The main shopping centre (West Orchard) has quite a few empty shops, and moving away from there, things seem to be getting worse. There was a time when Hertford Street and Corporation Street were vibrant with shoppers, but not any more.
People seem to be reluctant to go into the city and it needs something to drag people back into the centre, and away from places like Banbury and Solihull. Primark has gone part way to helping bring people back, but there is still a distinct lack of appeal for most shoppers.
As for my haircut, well that was great fun. Because my hair was so long (I'd left it about 6 months before I got it cut, due to various reasons conspiring to delay me) I had the cut done first, followed by the colouring stage.
As I've gotten older, the grey has started to show through my hair, so Paul (my hairdresser) suggested a semi-permanent base, followed by the highlights. If it was anyone else who'd suggested this course, I would have been very sceptical but Paul has never tried to push me down a route that I would not have been happy with.
The results have been well worth the time that I spent, and am now a lot happier as my hair was driving me nuts (and it didn't help with my beloved calling me Fluffy.) But, I guess that comes with the territory...
Guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working...
Back later, I guess.
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
Investing in a new car
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As mentioned in my previous entry, I've bought myself a new car - the Peugeot 207 Sport. I will admit to having fallen for this car, when it first came out and my 206 was coming up for three years old, meaning MOT testing time, and the start of large servicing bills.
So, I decided to go and see what was floating about deal wise, and I will admit that I was quite taken with the deal that I was offered by by local Peugeot dealer, whom I had bought my 206 off. The deal was sealed with me being given a free paint / interior guard coating (it's supposed to keep the paintwork in good condition and keep the crap on the interior trim to a minimum).
That was fine, but I should have realised that things weren't going to go smoothly for me... Especially when I had to keep chasing to get a build date for the car! The date kept getting later and later, and I was starting to worry that I wasn't going to get the car by the end of October!
Somehow, I managed to get the date and the car arrived at the PDI centre in Corby. All well and good, until it came to the registration number... I'd been allocated a registration number, which I'd passed on to the insurance company, and I'd got all the paperwork to prove that the car was insured so that the dealership could get the car taxed and ready for me to collect.
The day before I was due to collect the car, I got a phone call at 16:30 from the salesman, to say that there had been a problem with the registration. The DVLA (in their infinite wisdom) had allocated my original registration number to another car. Which meant that my insurance paperwork was invalid, meaning no car tax, which meant I couldn't pick the car up.
To say I was unhappy was an understatement, but the salesman (Martin) was a real star. He gave me the telephone number for Peugeot insurance, and told me to take the 7 day option, just to get the car taxed, and then contact my own insurance company to advise of the registration change.
Both insurance companies were really helpful, and when I spoke to my own insurance company, I was advised that if the worst happened, then I was covered under them, as the excess on the Peugeot insurance was an awful lot more than mine!
So, I did manage to collect the car when I wanted to, and things appeared to run smoothly... Until I decided to overtake something on the way home. The overtake appeared to go smoothly, and I was quite happily rumbling home... Until the heating failed on the car. I started getting cold air blowing through into the passenger cabin, so I turned the temperature up - which made no difference.
By this point, I was starting to get worried, especially as the engine temperature was climbing rapidly... It turned out that I had a leak from somewhere in the engine, which meant that the coolant had been dumped out on the road, so I was not a happy person when I called the RAC.
The patrolman was a real gent, and towed me and the car home, as I said that I would arrange to get the car sorted in the morning. I called the dealership, and spoke to the service department, who advised me to call the AA and get the car relayed into them.
So, I called the AA, and the patrolman arrived, and found the problem! A clip on the main coolant hose had come undone, which allowed the coolant to escape. It looked like it had never been fastened properly, so could have come undone at any time. I was thanking my lucky stars that it hadn't happened at the weekend, as I was making a break for freedom with my beloved.
He connected the clip for me and filled the cooling system with water, which enabled me to drive the car very carefully to the dealership. Within 15 minutes of my arrival, the car was in the workshop getting sorted out, and the service manager was making profuse apologies, as was the salesman. It wasn't their fault - I was more unhappy with the fact that this clip had been missed by the PDI check.
So, the first month was somewhat eventful for me and the car... Which in true family fashion has been given a name. In this case, Ponto, as a tribute to the furry fiend.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working...
Back when I get chance...
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
So, I decided to go and see what was floating about deal wise, and I will admit that I was quite taken with the deal that I was offered by by local Peugeot dealer, whom I had bought my 206 off. The deal was sealed with me being given a free paint / interior guard coating (it's supposed to keep the paintwork in good condition and keep the crap on the interior trim to a minimum).
That was fine, but I should have realised that things weren't going to go smoothly for me... Especially when I had to keep chasing to get a build date for the car! The date kept getting later and later, and I was starting to worry that I wasn't going to get the car by the end of October!
Somehow, I managed to get the date and the car arrived at the PDI centre in Corby. All well and good, until it came to the registration number... I'd been allocated a registration number, which I'd passed on to the insurance company, and I'd got all the paperwork to prove that the car was insured so that the dealership could get the car taxed and ready for me to collect.
The day before I was due to collect the car, I got a phone call at 16:30 from the salesman, to say that there had been a problem with the registration. The DVLA (in their infinite wisdom) had allocated my original registration number to another car. Which meant that my insurance paperwork was invalid, meaning no car tax, which meant I couldn't pick the car up.
To say I was unhappy was an understatement, but the salesman (Martin) was a real star. He gave me the telephone number for Peugeot insurance, and told me to take the 7 day option, just to get the car taxed, and then contact my own insurance company to advise of the registration change.
Both insurance companies were really helpful, and when I spoke to my own insurance company, I was advised that if the worst happened, then I was covered under them, as the excess on the Peugeot insurance was an awful lot more than mine!
So, I did manage to collect the car when I wanted to, and things appeared to run smoothly... Until I decided to overtake something on the way home. The overtake appeared to go smoothly, and I was quite happily rumbling home... Until the heating failed on the car. I started getting cold air blowing through into the passenger cabin, so I turned the temperature up - which made no difference.
By this point, I was starting to get worried, especially as the engine temperature was climbing rapidly... It turned out that I had a leak from somewhere in the engine, which meant that the coolant had been dumped out on the road, so I was not a happy person when I called the RAC.
The patrolman was a real gent, and towed me and the car home, as I said that I would arrange to get the car sorted in the morning. I called the dealership, and spoke to the service department, who advised me to call the AA and get the car relayed into them.
So, I called the AA, and the patrolman arrived, and found the problem! A clip on the main coolant hose had come undone, which allowed the coolant to escape. It looked like it had never been fastened properly, so could have come undone at any time. I was thanking my lucky stars that it hadn't happened at the weekend, as I was making a break for freedom with my beloved.
He connected the clip for me and filled the cooling system with water, which enabled me to drive the car very carefully to the dealership. Within 15 minutes of my arrival, the car was in the workshop getting sorted out, and the service manager was making profuse apologies, as was the salesman. It wasn't their fault - I was more unhappy with the fact that this clip had been missed by the PDI check.
So, the first month was somewhat eventful for me and the car... Which in true family fashion has been given a name. In this case, Ponto, as a tribute to the furry fiend.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working...
Back when I get chance...
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
Mea culpea
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OK, so I failed miserably to keep the blog going. Partly because things were getting hectic (both in my personal and professional life) and I suffered a severe case of TNFI (totally no ******g interest).
So, a brief summary - I've been back to Madeira (and am escaping in September again) and have been lucky enough to find someone who means the whole world to me, and more to the point, has allowed me to relax enough and drop my guard. I've also bought myself a new car - a Peugeot 207 Sport 120... More on that in a later post...
Aside from that, Mum has had a partial hip replacement, and is now walking much better than she has been (i.e. seven and a half years ago since the accident). As for me, as I've said, I'm seeing someone who makes me blissfully happy, and helps me see that there is more to life than the playpen that I call an office...
Playpen. A good term for the office, and for certain members of staff. Including the one that sits next to me. She's so blinkered about life, it's not true. She's also of the misguided opinion that F1 is the be-all and end-all of motor sport and wont' even contemplate any criticism of Lewis Hamilton.
Don't get me wrong, he's a good driver, but he's been lucky. He's had a good car (i.e. reliable) and a good backup team. But what annoys me is that she just won't accept ANY negative comments and throws a real paddy when you try and say otherwise.
As you can tell, I'm not exactly a member of her fan club, and there have been suggestions that I bury the hatchet with her. I would do so, but I'm afraid that it would be in the back of her skull.
Ah well, guess I should think about doing some work, but I'm afraid I'm suffering from a severe case of TNFI....
Back later.
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
So, a brief summary - I've been back to Madeira (and am escaping in September again) and have been lucky enough to find someone who means the whole world to me, and more to the point, has allowed me to relax enough and drop my guard. I've also bought myself a new car - a Peugeot 207 Sport 120... More on that in a later post...
Aside from that, Mum has had a partial hip replacement, and is now walking much better than she has been (i.e. seven and a half years ago since the accident). As for me, as I've said, I'm seeing someone who makes me blissfully happy, and helps me see that there is more to life than the playpen that I call an office...
Playpen. A good term for the office, and for certain members of staff. Including the one that sits next to me. She's so blinkered about life, it's not true. She's also of the misguided opinion that F1 is the be-all and end-all of motor sport and wont' even contemplate any criticism of Lewis Hamilton.
Don't get me wrong, he's a good driver, but he's been lucky. He's had a good car (i.e. reliable) and a good backup team. But what annoys me is that she just won't accept ANY negative comments and throws a real paddy when you try and say otherwise.
As you can tell, I'm not exactly a member of her fan club, and there have been suggestions that I bury the hatchet with her. I would do so, but I'm afraid that it would be in the back of her skull.
Ah well, guess I should think about doing some work, but I'm afraid I'm suffering from a severe case of TNFI....
Back later.
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
A Gwyneth Paltrow moment? No chance - I'm not wearing waterproof mascara!
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I think the title sums this post up.. I've just got back from the company conference, where I won an award for customer service! I know this sounds really corny, but it was the last thing that I expected!
I was quietly minding my own business (trying not to get caught snoozing) when I heard my name being called, to go and collect this award. I was mortified, and you could have fried eggs on my cheeks.
The award itself was £50 in leisure vouchers, a certificate and a bottle of Moet & Chandon champagne. I was trying not to cry when I was being given the award, and afterwards, my friends and colleagues were joking about me doing a "Gwyenth Paltrow" - i.e. crying all the time I was on the stage.
I also got told that I was too young to drink the champagne, and that I should had it over to "more responsible" persons. Needless to day, the more "responsible" persons got told to "Sod off" as I have every intention of sharing this bottle of champagne with my beloved.
Not that I admitted who I was going to drink it with - all I said was that I was going to drink it with someone who had helped me a great deal over the past year, and without this person's help, I would have gone flat on my face.
Time to call this quits - the adrenaline is starting to wear off, and I need to get some sleep...
Back when my feet can touch the ground and my fingers can touch the keyboard again...
Karen
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me
I was quietly minding my own business (trying not to get caught snoozing) when I heard my name being called, to go and collect this award. I was mortified, and you could have fried eggs on my cheeks.
The award itself was £50 in leisure vouchers, a certificate and a bottle of Moet & Chandon champagne. I was trying not to cry when I was being given the award, and afterwards, my friends and colleagues were joking about me doing a "Gwyenth Paltrow" - i.e. crying all the time I was on the stage.
I also got told that I was too young to drink the champagne, and that I should had it over to "more responsible" persons. Needless to day, the more "responsible" persons got told to "Sod off" as I have every intention of sharing this bottle of champagne with my beloved.
Not that I admitted who I was going to drink it with - all I said was that I was going to drink it with someone who had helped me a great deal over the past year, and without this person's help, I would have gone flat on my face.
Time to call this quits - the adrenaline is starting to wear off, and I need to get some sleep...
Back when my feet can touch the ground and my fingers can touch the keyboard again...
Karen
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me
Back to the postings...
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I've not updated my blog for a while, as I managed to go down with the dreaded flu. It knocked me for six, and ended up causing me to take a week off work. Not really what I wanted to do, especially as I'd got a hospital appointment to get my shoulder sorted out...
The hospital wasn't a bad visit at all, especially as the registrar was a real gent... He said that there was no need for me to go back as there was nothing more that they could do, aside from sending me back for yet more physio - which I found to be beneficial, but I already know (and do) the exercises!
As I'd expected to get a jab in the shoulder, I'd booked the day off as holiday, so Mum and I headed off to Evesham to do some shopping... I got back, only to discover that I needed a sick note as I'd gone sick the week prior to my holiday. Great. That meant a trip to the doctors and £10 for a private sick note.
But, at least I got my day's holiday back, so that means that I can do somehting that I want to do with my holiday...
Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I'm suffering from TNFI - which is as little worrying, as it's only Monday!
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me
The hospital wasn't a bad visit at all, especially as the registrar was a real gent... He said that there was no need for me to go back as there was nothing more that they could do, aside from sending me back for yet more physio - which I found to be beneficial, but I already know (and do) the exercises!
As I'd expected to get a jab in the shoulder, I'd booked the day off as holiday, so Mum and I headed off to Evesham to do some shopping... I got back, only to discover that I needed a sick note as I'd gone sick the week prior to my holiday. Great. That meant a trip to the doctors and £10 for a private sick note.
But, at least I got my day's holiday back, so that means that I can do somehting that I want to do with my holiday...
Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I'm suffering from TNFI - which is as little worrying, as it's only Monday!
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me
Throwing a spanner in the works....
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Typical. They say the best laid plans of mice and tiggers have this horrible habit of going astray, and my plans are no different.
I was hoping to talk my beloved into going to Wolverhampton with me to go and see Gary Moore, but we agreed (in principal) to go to Oxford instead as it was closer for the pair of us. The idea was that the pair of us would take the day of the concert off, and then go to the concert in the evening.
Fine in theory. In practice? It sank without a trace, as it turned out that my beloved was supposed to be going to Whitley Bay the following morning and as he said, he didn't want to have to travel on very little sleep.
Needless to say, I'm not too happy, as I was really looking forward to going to see Gary Moore with my beloved, but I'm sure that we'll manage to get away together some time, and I would rather know that he was travelling when he was fully rested...
Suppose I should log off and bog off - I've got to feed the furry fiends...
Back when I get chance.
Karen
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me
I was hoping to talk my beloved into going to Wolverhampton with me to go and see Gary Moore, but we agreed (in principal) to go to Oxford instead as it was closer for the pair of us. The idea was that the pair of us would take the day of the concert off, and then go to the concert in the evening.
Fine in theory. In practice? It sank without a trace, as it turned out that my beloved was supposed to be going to Whitley Bay the following morning and as he said, he didn't want to have to travel on very little sleep.
Needless to say, I'm not too happy, as I was really looking forward to going to see Gary Moore with my beloved, but I'm sure that we'll manage to get away together some time, and I would rather know that he was travelling when he was fully rested...
Suppose I should log off and bog off - I've got to feed the furry fiends...
Back when I get chance.
Karen
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me
Planning another escape (or four)...
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Yes, I'm back to my usual tricks - planning escapes - both with Mum and on my own. The first escape is going to be one on my own - a singer that I like - Gary Moore - is going on tour, and I'm hoping to persuade my beloved to take a day or so to head up to Wolverhampton to go and see him with me.
The other escapes are going to be with Mum - we're going back to Jersey at the end of March for a week, and back to Madeira the end of June for a couple of weeks - but I'll be back in time to get down to Silverstone for the British Grand Prix with my godsprog.
As for other escapes, well, I'll just have to see what heads my way and see where life takes me - but I know that there is another possible escape on the horizon - again, with Mum.
This time, it's another weeding (I mean wedding) - my cousin Alex is getting married the beginning of September in Brighton, so that means I've got to find a decent top to wear with my dark suit - there's no way I'm going to get anything else (like a dress) as I know damned well that I would never wear it again - well voluntarily anyway!!
Ah well, guess I should think about doing some work, but I'm suffering from a sever case of TNFI (totally no ******g interest) - and it's only Tuesday!
Back when I get the chance...
Karen
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me
The other escapes are going to be with Mum - we're going back to Jersey at the end of March for a week, and back to Madeira the end of June for a couple of weeks - but I'll be back in time to get down to Silverstone for the British Grand Prix with my godsprog.
As for other escapes, well, I'll just have to see what heads my way and see where life takes me - but I know that there is another possible escape on the horizon - again, with Mum.
This time, it's another weeding (I mean wedding) - my cousin Alex is getting married the beginning of September in Brighton, so that means I've got to find a decent top to wear with my dark suit - there's no way I'm going to get anything else (like a dress) as I know damned well that I would never wear it again - well voluntarily anyway!!
Ah well, guess I should think about doing some work, but I'm suffering from a sever case of TNFI (totally no ******g interest) - and it's only Tuesday!
Back when I get the chance...
Karen
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me
A new year, and fresh hopes
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Well, Quentin is on the road to recovery, but is still very ill. Julian did have a New Year celebration - he spent it with Mum, me and a couple of close family friends, as Mum said that there was no way that he was going to spend New Year's eve on his own.
Me? Well I'm not quite sure what this year will bring me - apart from more surprises - especially where my beloved is concerned. But, I'll cross those bridges as and when I come to them - no point in trying to add stress and hassle to my life!
Guess I should call this quits - Jules is ready to head to the hospital to see Quentin, and I said I'd go as well...
Back when I get chance..
Karen
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me
Me? Well I'm not quite sure what this year will bring me - apart from more surprises - especially where my beloved is concerned. But, I'll cross those bridges as and when I come to them - no point in trying to add stress and hassle to my life!
Guess I should call this quits - Jules is ready to head to the hospital to see Quentin, and I said I'd go as well...
Back when I get chance..
Karen
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me
Finishing the year with a scare
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Not the sort of news that I wanted to get.
I’ve just had a ‘phone call from Julian - his partner has been rushed into hospital with Pneumonia, and is seriously ill. That's not the worst part - Quentin has got non-Hodgkins lymphoma, and has only just recovered from a course of chemo.
We'd been planning our normal New Year bash - i.e. out to dinner, go and make idiots of ourselves on the dance floor of our favourite club, and then pile into our normal Balti-hut for breakfast.
That was the plan. But this news has really gone and scuppered everything, and Julian feels that he's let me and the rest of the gang down. OK - I can't speak for the rest of the group that I knock around with, but Jules is a victim of this rotten bug that has put Quentin in hospital.
As far as I'm concerned, my New Year can be re-arranged - all I want is Quentin fit and well - not to mention putting Ricky Martin to shame with the swivelling hips on the dance floor!
Time to call this quits - I said that I would go to the hospital with Jules.
No idea when I'll get chance to put finger to keyboard again, so I'll try my best to keep notes on the ups and downs...
Back when time allows.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
I’ve just had a ‘phone call from Julian - his partner has been rushed into hospital with Pneumonia, and is seriously ill. That's not the worst part - Quentin has got non-Hodgkins lymphoma, and has only just recovered from a course of chemo.
We'd been planning our normal New Year bash - i.e. out to dinner, go and make idiots of ourselves on the dance floor of our favourite club, and then pile into our normal Balti-hut for breakfast.
That was the plan. But this news has really gone and scuppered everything, and Julian feels that he's let me and the rest of the gang down. OK - I can't speak for the rest of the group that I knock around with, but Jules is a victim of this rotten bug that has put Quentin in hospital.
As far as I'm concerned, my New Year can be re-arranged - all I want is Quentin fit and well - not to mention putting Ricky Martin to shame with the swivelling hips on the dance floor!
Time to call this quits - I said that I would go to the hospital with Jules.
No idea when I'll get chance to put finger to keyboard again, so I'll try my best to keep notes on the ups and downs...
Back when time allows.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
A turkey's idea of Christmas?
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Karen
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Merry Christmas to one and all
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Chilling out before Christmas
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Karen
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There's something magical about seeing someone you love just before Christmas - and that's what I've been lucky enough to do this weekend.
I’d arranged to meet my beloved at the Green Man pub / restaurant, with the idea being that it was a weekend for the pair of us to kick back, shut out the world and spend some time together – with no-one demanding that we pay attention to them.
All I will say is that I’m nicely chilled out, and am ready to face the madness that is Christmas, and that nothing will be able to rattle my confidence.
Time to call this quits – I’ve still got a few bits and pieces to sort out…
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
I’d arranged to meet my beloved at the Green Man pub / restaurant, with the idea being that it was a weekend for the pair of us to kick back, shut out the world and spend some time together – with no-one demanding that we pay attention to them.
All I will say is that I’m nicely chilled out, and am ready to face the madness that is Christmas, and that nothing will be able to rattle my confidence.
Time to call this quits – I’ve still got a few bits and pieces to sort out…
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
Something to sum up Christmas....
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Occasionally, you come across a real gem - and I think this is one!
Enjoy.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
A Christmas Story
'Twas the night before Christmas - old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear?
The old lady bitches 'cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money - the reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes - if that ain't funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days - they all are the pits
They want the impossible - those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls - their arms, legs, and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's - no request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde - I'm going SOUTH for the season.
Enjoy.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
A Christmas Story
'Twas the night before Christmas - old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear?
The old lady bitches 'cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money - the reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes - if that ain't funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days - they all are the pits
They want the impossible - those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls - their arms, legs, and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's - no request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde - I'm going SOUTH for the season.
The apparent taming of Hell's kitten....
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Karen
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Well, Splodge seems to be behaving herself at the moment, and I’m not quite sure why.
She came and curled up on the sofa next to me, and seemed content to snooze without trying to bite / claw me or force me off the sofa so that she could have it to herself.
Why she’s decided to bury the hatchet (or rather claws & fangs) with me is a mystery to me, but who am I to look a gift horse (or in this case - cat) in the mouth.
Whatever the reason, I’m going to make the most of it – but there is no way I’m going to trust her whilst I’m asleep – the only cat that will share my bed for the time being is Fred!
Time to call this quits – I’m off to feed the furry fiends
Back later…
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
She came and curled up on the sofa next to me, and seemed content to snooze without trying to bite / claw me or force me off the sofa so that she could have it to herself.
Why she’s decided to bury the hatchet (or rather claws & fangs) with me is a mystery to me, but who am I to look a gift horse (or in this case - cat) in the mouth.
Whatever the reason, I’m going to make the most of it – but there is no way I’m going to trust her whilst I’m asleep – the only cat that will share my bed for the time being is Fred!
Time to call this quits – I’m off to feed the furry fiends
Back later…
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
Trying to tame Hell's kitten
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Karen
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I swear if I shaved Splodge, I would find the number "666" tattooed under the fur. Mum can't understand why I've taken such a dislike to the evil little swine – but it’s not her feet that are bearing the imprint (and more) of her needle-sharp teeth and claws.
Even poor little Fred isn’t safe from her spite. All he wants is somewhere warm and safe to curl up and sleep for as long as he likes – without spiteful interference.
I keep being told by people allegedly in the know, that Splodge is only reacting like this, because she’s trying to find her place in the bigger scheme of things. Crap. She’s just spiteful!
But, I guess that I should give the evil little sod the benefit of the doubt and try bribing her to be nice to me… I have no idea why she’s taken such a dislike to me, but if I want to be able to walk around the house in bare feet safely, then I’ll have to see how things pan out…
Time to call this entry quits – I’ve got to try and make peace with hell’s kitten.
Back later if I’ve not been ripped to shreds…
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Even poor little Fred isn’t safe from her spite. All he wants is somewhere warm and safe to curl up and sleep for as long as he likes – without spiteful interference.
I keep being told by people allegedly in the know, that Splodge is only reacting like this, because she’s trying to find her place in the bigger scheme of things. Crap. She’s just spiteful!
But, I guess that I should give the evil little sod the benefit of the doubt and try bribing her to be nice to me… I have no idea why she’s taken such a dislike to me, but if I want to be able to walk around the house in bare feet safely, then I’ll have to see how things pan out…
Time to call this entry quits – I’ve got to try and make peace with hell’s kitten.
Back later if I’ve not been ripped to shreds…
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Hell's kitten has invaded my home....
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Karen
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And I'm not happy. Mum and I went to the local cat's protection shelter, where she fell for this little ball of tabby fur, with a white patch on it's head. I said that it looked like a splodge of paint on it's head, and walked out.
Little did I realise that whilst I was outside, Mum was making the necessary arrangements to adopt the spiteful ball of fur that has become the bane of my life (not to mention my bare feet!)
Even though I have voiced my disapproval / dislike of this hellish kitten, Mum has fallen for it's sweet and allegedly innocent appearance - despite the fact that she terrorises Fred - who hasn't got a mean bone in his furry little body.
And before I get suggestions about trying to bribe the kitten into being my friend / that it's only reacting like this because it's scared, etc - forget it. It's a little horror, and I would give anything to have the Pont back - so he could show it (Splodge) who's boss - and it sure as hell isn't Hell's Kitten!
Back when I've fed Fred and the demon....
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Little did I realise that whilst I was outside, Mum was making the necessary arrangements to adopt the spiteful ball of fur that has become the bane of my life (not to mention my bare feet!)
Even though I have voiced my disapproval / dislike of this hellish kitten, Mum has fallen for it's sweet and allegedly innocent appearance - despite the fact that she terrorises Fred - who hasn't got a mean bone in his furry little body.
And before I get suggestions about trying to bribe the kitten into being my friend / that it's only reacting like this because it's scared, etc - forget it. It's a little horror, and I would give anything to have the Pont back - so he could show it (Splodge) who's boss - and it sure as hell isn't Hell's Kitten!
Back when I've fed Fred and the demon....
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
An attempt at the Darwin award....
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Karen
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I make no comment on this - mine is but to post such little gems....
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian Workers' Compensation Board.
This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure....
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs..
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in abarrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping unti lthe fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.
I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.
This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian Workers' Compensation Board.
This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure....
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs..
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in abarrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping unti lthe fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of beginning to experience a great deal of pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.
I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.
This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry.
Something to bring calmness into a manic life…
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Karen
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I wonder if this would work….
By following the simple advice, I heard on the Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never finished.”
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of white Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, all of the Doritos and a box of chocolates. You have absolutely no idea how freaking good I feel right now!
That Dr. Phil is smart!
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
By following the simple advice, I heard on the Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never finished.”
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of white Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, all of the Doritos and a box of chocolates. You have absolutely no idea how freaking good I feel right now!
That Dr. Phil is smart!
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Pet Rules...
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Karen
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I think I should get this printed, ready for use at home - especially as a new kitten has been added to the family... Don't get me wrong, I normally love cats, but I think this kitten is an evil little swine, that will never replace the Pont, as long as I breathe!
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Cats and Dogs
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note: placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Cats and dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, meow, whine, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat or dog’s butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain about Our Pets:
1. They live here; you don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"nature.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Cats and dogs are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10.Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Cats and Dogs
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note: placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Cats and dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, meow, whine, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cat or dog’s butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain about Our Pets:
1. They live here; you don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"nature.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Cats and dogs are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10.Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
Car wars....
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Karen
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This has been doing the 'rounds for a while, and made me smile...
2. Audi answered:
4. Bentley Chairman wanted the last word:
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
The best Ad war in recent memory!
1. BMW started this advertisement
2. Audi answered:
3. Subaru needs to say something:
4. Bentley Chairman wanted the last word:
A visit to a city’s history
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Karen
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What a way to send a weekend! I spent time with someone who means an awful lot to me, and I was able to see and do things with someone who enjoys the same sort of things as I do – i.e. we’re both petrol heads!
It started on Saturday, meeting at our normal meeting point of Warwick services (ok – the services are closer to Gaydon, but that’s just local knowledge speaking!)
We had a coffee and our normal chat about the route, then headed into Coventry to the park and ride at the Memorial park, as parking in Coventry is horrendously expensive.
As the main point of interest didn’t open until 10am, I suggested that we visited the two cathedrals. No – I didn’t mistype that – Coventry has two cathedrals - the old cathedral (the one that the Germans bombed in 1940) and the new one, which was built next to the old cathedral in the 1960s.
The old cathedral still has remnants of the stained glass that decorated the windows, and is most noted for the so-called Cross of Nails:
The Cross of Nails – on the night of 14 November 1940, the city of Coventry was devastated during an air raid and its cathedral burned. Shortly afterwards three nails from the bombed roof timbers were taken and formed into the shape of a cross…
In places, the damage from the bombs can still be seen on the outer walls of the old cathedral, and I will admit, I’d never really taken much notice until my friend remarked on it.
The new cathedral however, is very different. The outside has a huge bronze sculpture of St Michael and the Devil, by Sir Jacob Epstein, and is quite an impressive sight.
But, I guess the thing that the cathedral is most famous for (apart from standing next to the bombed ruin of the old cathedral) is the huge tapestry – Christ in Glory. I seem to recall being told that this is one of the largest tapestries in the world…
Then, it was off to the main reason for my friend coming into the city – the Museum of Road Transport. The museum is a real mix of old, new and incredibly fast (it holds both the land speed record cars – Thrust 2 and Thrust SSC) and holds some incredibly rare and unusual cars.
There was one car that I was really keen on seeing – Thrust SSC. When it was brought back from America (after breaking the land speed record and the sound barrier) I wasn’t able to go to the parade that was held to celebrate its success, so seeing it in its new home in the museum was a real treat for me.
After seeing that, the rest of the museum seemed to be a little bit of a come-down, but the exhibits were quite interesting. They had a small section of motorcycles, which was quite interesting for me, as they had one of the original speedway bikes!
Sunday was a lazier day, as the pair of us headed to the National Motorcycle Museum at Bickenhill. This was the museum that my friend had been teasing me about acting as the guide for him, as he is passionate about his own bike.
However, that didn’t stop him falling for a 1930’s motorcycle. He said that it had nearly every feature that he takes for granted on his own bike.
My own personal favourite was (and still is) the 1969 Triumph Bonneville. Ok – I know all the arguments about it being unreliable, etc but it is still one of those bikes that I have a real soft spot for.
Guess I should call this quits – I’m supposed to be working, not blogging!
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
It started on Saturday, meeting at our normal meeting point of Warwick services (ok – the services are closer to Gaydon, but that’s just local knowledge speaking!)
We had a coffee and our normal chat about the route, then headed into Coventry to the park and ride at the Memorial park, as parking in Coventry is horrendously expensive.
As the main point of interest didn’t open until 10am, I suggested that we visited the two cathedrals. No – I didn’t mistype that – Coventry has two cathedrals - the old cathedral (the one that the Germans bombed in 1940) and the new one, which was built next to the old cathedral in the 1960s.
The old cathedral still has remnants of the stained glass that decorated the windows, and is most noted for the so-called Cross of Nails:
The Cross of Nails – on the night of 14 November 1940, the city of Coventry was devastated during an air raid and its cathedral burned. Shortly afterwards three nails from the bombed roof timbers were taken and formed into the shape of a cross…
In places, the damage from the bombs can still be seen on the outer walls of the old cathedral, and I will admit, I’d never really taken much notice until my friend remarked on it.
The new cathedral however, is very different. The outside has a huge bronze sculpture of St Michael and the Devil, by Sir Jacob Epstein, and is quite an impressive sight.
But, I guess the thing that the cathedral is most famous for (apart from standing next to the bombed ruin of the old cathedral) is the huge tapestry – Christ in Glory. I seem to recall being told that this is one of the largest tapestries in the world…
Then, it was off to the main reason for my friend coming into the city – the Museum of Road Transport. The museum is a real mix of old, new and incredibly fast (it holds both the land speed record cars – Thrust 2 and Thrust SSC) and holds some incredibly rare and unusual cars.
There was one car that I was really keen on seeing – Thrust SSC. When it was brought back from America (after breaking the land speed record and the sound barrier) I wasn’t able to go to the parade that was held to celebrate its success, so seeing it in its new home in the museum was a real treat for me.
After seeing that, the rest of the museum seemed to be a little bit of a come-down, but the exhibits were quite interesting. They had a small section of motorcycles, which was quite interesting for me, as they had one of the original speedway bikes!
Sunday was a lazier day, as the pair of us headed to the National Motorcycle Museum at Bickenhill. This was the museum that my friend had been teasing me about acting as the guide for him, as he is passionate about his own bike.
However, that didn’t stop him falling for a 1930’s motorcycle. He said that it had nearly every feature that he takes for granted on his own bike.
My own personal favourite was (and still is) the 1969 Triumph Bonneville. Ok – I know all the arguments about it being unreliable, etc but it is still one of those bikes that I have a real soft spot for.
Guess I should call this quits – I’m supposed to be working, not blogging!
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
Why females should avoid girls night out after they are married...
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Karen
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Amazing what I get sent....
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told Chris that I would be home by midnight, "I promise."
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3:00 am, a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing Chris would wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = midnight.)
The next morning Chris asked me what time I got in and I told him
"Midnight."
He didn't seem upset at all.
Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh shit", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told Chris that I would be home by midnight, "I promise."
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3:00 am, a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing Chris would wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = midnight.)
The next morning Chris asked me what time I got in and I told him
"Midnight."
He didn't seem upset at all.
Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh shit", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
Deep thoughts...
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Karen
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1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like Night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
25. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
27. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
2. A day without sunshine is like Night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
25. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
27. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Back from Cornwall, and looking forward to another escape...
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Karen
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I seem to do nothing but plan escapes just recently. This time, it's a personal escape - i.e. a single escape, to meet up with a very close friend of mine.
It's something that I've really been looking forward to, as it means that I'll be spending time with someone who shares my passion for cars and bikes. This time, it's on my "home" turf - Coventry, so that means that I'll be able to act as a guide in the city that my grandparents (on Mum's side) grew up in.
But, before I get to the escape, there are other things that I'll be doing - one of them being going to the glass fair at the Heritage Motor Centre at Gaydon. Hopefully, Ill be able to get Mum's christmas present, otherwise it means another trip into Stratford.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits - got places to go and people to annoy....
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Midnight Blues
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Karen
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Well, I'm back from Cornwall. I will admit, although it was nice to see my family, I'm only too glad to be back home.
Why? Because the old joke that "God gave you your relatives, but thank god you can choose your friends" has never been more apt at times.
Ok - maybe I'm being a little unkind to my family, but compared to the rest of the family - I'm subdued! I felt a little out of place at times, but as things started warming up (and the drink started flowing - I was driving so I didn't drink that much at all) I started feeling much more at ease with things.
However, it was when I was settling down, that I started to feel blue, and the song by Gary Moore - Midnight Blues sums up how I felt some nights...
It's the darkest hour
Of the darkest night
It's a million miles
From the morning light
Can't get no sleep
Don't know what to do
I've got those midnight blues
When the shadows fall
I feel the night closing in
There must be some reason
For this mood I'm getting in
Can't get no sleep
Don't know what to do
I've got those midnight blues
Every evening after sundown
As the light begins to fade
I feel so low, but I just don't know
Why these blues won't go away
Every evening after sundown
As the light begins to fade
I feel so low, but I just don't know
Why these blues won't go away
It's the darkest hour
Of the darkest night
It's a million miles
To the morning light
Can't get no sleep
Don't know what to do
I've got those midnight blues
I've got those midnight blues
I've got those midnight blues
I've got those midnight blues
Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I need to make peace with Fred.
Back tomorrow.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Preparing to make another escape
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Karen
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No sooner am I back from a holiday, than I’m preparing for another one. This time, it’s because I’m going to my cousin’s wedding in Cornwall.
Mum and I are leaving on Saturday, staying for two nights in Indian Queens, and then heading to Truro, to meet up with the rest of the family.
The reason that we’re doing this is because once the family know that Mum and I are in the area, we won’t get any time to ourselves, as the family have a habit of organising things.
But, there are things that I want to do whilst I’m in Cornwall – one of them being to visit the Eden project (again) and go to Lands End and the Tate gallery in St Ives. Hopefully, the family will allow us time to do this, but I’m not sure what the arrangements will be.
I know the wedding is on Wednesday (apparently, farmer’s weddings are always held on a Wednesday or a Sunday – don’t ask me why!) but I’m hoping that Mum and I will be able to escape on our own.
Guess I should call this quits – I’m supposed to be working, not blogging!
Back when I return from Cornwall…
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
Mum and I are leaving on Saturday, staying for two nights in Indian Queens, and then heading to Truro, to meet up with the rest of the family.
The reason that we’re doing this is because once the family know that Mum and I are in the area, we won’t get any time to ourselves, as the family have a habit of organising things.
But, there are things that I want to do whilst I’m in Cornwall – one of them being to visit the Eden project (again) and go to Lands End and the Tate gallery in St Ives. Hopefully, the family will allow us time to do this, but I’m not sure what the arrangements will be.
I know the wedding is on Wednesday (apparently, farmer’s weddings are always held on a Wednesday or a Sunday – don’t ask me why!) but I’m hoping that Mum and I will be able to escape on our own.
Guess I should call this quits – I’m supposed to be working, not blogging!
Back when I return from Cornwall…
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
Back to the playpen (I mean office)
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No, I was right the first time. Playpen.
You go away, and people say "oh yes, don't worry about your work, we'll look after it for you." What a pile of crap.
I got in, to discover that only the bare minimum had been done, and that there was an awful lot that I had to sort out, not to mention placating colleagues and customers who felt that they had been neglected whilst I was away.
So, I've spent most of the day chasing my tail, trying to get everything back under control, and ready for another hand over, as I'm only in the office for 10 working days due to the fact that my cousin is getting married down in Cornwall.
As I managed to avoid the last weeding (sorry - wedding!) I have to go to this one, especially as this will be the first time that I've seen the rest of my family since Dad's funeral. As he once said - the only time our family get together is for weddings and funerals - and at the moment, that seems to be horribly accurate!
Guess I should call this entry quits - I've got a home to go to.
Back tomorrow if i get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
You go away, and people say "oh yes, don't worry about your work, we'll look after it for you." What a pile of crap.
I got in, to discover that only the bare minimum had been done, and that there was an awful lot that I had to sort out, not to mention placating colleagues and customers who felt that they had been neglected whilst I was away.
So, I've spent most of the day chasing my tail, trying to get everything back under control, and ready for another hand over, as I'm only in the office for 10 working days due to the fact that my cousin is getting married down in Cornwall.
As I managed to avoid the last weeding (sorry - wedding!) I have to go to this one, especially as this will be the first time that I've seen the rest of my family since Dad's funeral. As he once said - the only time our family get together is for weddings and funerals - and at the moment, that seems to be horribly accurate!
Guess I should call this entry quits - I've got a home to go to.
Back tomorrow if i get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
What you never hear...
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Ok - I know some people will doubt that these are genuine transcripts, but my sources have yet to fail me...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Here are some conversations that airline passengers normally will never hear. The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world.
*************************************************
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Here are some conversations that airline passengers normally will never hear. The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world.
*************************************************
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
*************************************************
"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
*************************************************
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
*************************************************
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."
*************************************************
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
*************************************************
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus s had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights, and return to the airport."
*************************************************
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked.”
Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach"
*************************************************
Taxiing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around, and returned to the gate.
After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was the problem?”
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant.
"It took us a while to find a new pilot."
*************************************************
A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):
"Because you lost the bloody war"
*************************************************
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7!”
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635 cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."
*************************************************
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed.
The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,
"What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger:
"I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."
*************************************************
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot.They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.
So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience):”Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark - and I didn't land."
*************************************************
While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming:"US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically:
"God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move 'till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
”Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.Just then, an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
Three little pigs...
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An new twist on an old tail perhaps?
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
The Three Little Pigs
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.
The waiter came and took their drink order.
"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.
"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.
"I want beer, lots, and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.
The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.
"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.
"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.
"I want beer, lots, and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.
The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.
"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.
"I want a cheesecake," said the second piggy.
"I want beer, lots, and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy.
"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy, "but why have you only ordered beer all evening?"
You're gonna LOVE me for this....
The third piggy says -
"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
The Three Little Pigs
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.
The waiter came and took their drink order.
"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.
"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.
"I want beer, lots, and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.
The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.
"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.
"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.
"I want beer, lots, and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.
The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.
"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.
"I want a cheesecake," said the second piggy.
"I want beer, lots, and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy.
"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy, "but why have you only ordered beer all evening?"
You're gonna LOVE me for this....
The third piggy says -
"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!
I wonder.....
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Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.
After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, "Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate £100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'."
The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the word of the Lord, It must not be changed."
Well," says the Nescafe man, "We anticipated your reluctance. For this reason, we will increase our offer to £300 million. All we require is that you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'."
Again, the Pope replies, "That, my son is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and it must not be changed."
Finally, the Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to your faith, but we do have one final offer. We will donate £500 million - that's half a billion quid - to the great Catholic church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'. Please consider it." And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals. "There is some Good news," he announces, "and some bad news..... The good news is that the Church will come into £500 million.”
“And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.
"We're losing the Hovis Account."
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, "Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate £100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'."
The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the word of the Lord, It must not be changed."
Well," says the Nescafe man, "We anticipated your reluctance. For this reason, we will increase our offer to £300 million. All we require is that you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'."
Again, the Pope replies, "That, my son is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and it must not be changed."
Finally, the Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to your faith, but we do have one final offer. We will donate £500 million - that's half a billion quid - to the great Catholic church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'. Please consider it." And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals. "There is some Good news," he announces, "and some bad news..... The good news is that the Church will come into £500 million.”
“And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.
"We're losing the Hovis Account."
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Another hospital visit and more physio? You bet.
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There are times when I wonder why I bother going to see the saw-bones at Warwick hospital.
Why? Because I feel that I’m being fobbed off every damned time I see him. This time, it’s a case of go to the physio, and I’ll see you in three months time for another jab in the shoulder joint.
Thanks a bunch. I still don’t know what the problem with my shoulder is – what I do know is that I’m getting fed up with the lack of progress (not to mention the lack of information.)
Add into this, I will now have to spend even more time at a hospital I don’t feel comfortable going to, and more to the point, I feel like I’m wasting time – both the physio’s time and mine.
Guess I should call this quits – I need to get bits and pieces sorted out…
Back later.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
Why? Because I feel that I’m being fobbed off every damned time I see him. This time, it’s a case of go to the physio, and I’ll see you in three months time for another jab in the shoulder joint.
Thanks a bunch. I still don’t know what the problem with my shoulder is – what I do know is that I’m getting fed up with the lack of progress (not to mention the lack of information.)
Add into this, I will now have to spend even more time at a hospital I don’t feel comfortable going to, and more to the point, I feel like I’m wasting time – both the physio’s time and mine.
Guess I should call this quits – I need to get bits and pieces sorted out…
Back later.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
Fun and games flying from Funchal...
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Monday morning arrived, and as Mum and I weren't leaving for the Airport until 11:00, we had plenty of time to walk into Funchal and get our last minute purchases - which in our case meant buying corms and seeds, as well as wicker-work. I got a replica of the Monte toboggan which I thought would be perfect to keep my car keys and security pass in, whilst I'm in the office.
Once we'd gotten what we wanted, and had packed it was off to the airport. And that was where the fun started. We were told the the flight was delayed for a couple of hours - and that it was due to adverse weather conditions in Birmingham. Great - just what Mum and I needed to be told - rotten weather back home.
So, we killed time by wandering around the very small duty free area, and watching the antics of the terminal maintenance crew, who were trying (unsuccessfully at first) to deal with a blocked drain line on one of the big overhead air-conditioning units.
Mum got tired, so I did my normal trick and left her with the hand-baggage, whilst I scampered off into Duty Free. I was under instruction to get a decent bottle of whisky for one of my neighbours, and I wanted to see if I could get a particular aftershave I'd been after (Boss Selection).
Given the size of the Duty Free area, it was almost as good as the ones at Heathrow (and much better than the one at Birmingham!) I not only managed to get a bottle of single malt, but I managed to get the aftershave and some of my perfume - Cartier - Declaration (I think that's how you spell it!)
Once we'd gotten what we wanted, and had packed it was off to the airport. And that was where the fun started. We were told the the flight was delayed for a couple of hours - and that it was due to adverse weather conditions in Birmingham. Great - just what Mum and I needed to be told - rotten weather back home.
So, we killed time by wandering around the very small duty free area, and watching the antics of the terminal maintenance crew, who were trying (unsuccessfully at first) to deal with a blocked drain line on one of the big overhead air-conditioning units.
Mum got tired, so I did my normal trick and left her with the hand-baggage, whilst I scampered off into Duty Free. I was under instruction to get a decent bottle of whisky for one of my neighbours, and I wanted to see if I could get a particular aftershave I'd been after (Boss Selection).
Given the size of the Duty Free area, it was almost as good as the ones at Heathrow (and much better than the one at Birmingham!) I not only managed to get a bottle of single malt, but I managed to get the aftershave and some of my perfume - Cartier - Declaration (I think that's how you spell it!)
We finally got onto the flight, and it was almost as bad as the in-bound trip. We also found out why we'd had the delay... The aircraft had a technical fault at Birmingham, thus delaying the outbound flight, which had a knock-on effect on the return flight that Mum and I were on.
This time, I was lucky enough to be seated by the window, whilst poor Mum was stuck in the middle seat, and was tremendously uncomfortable.
But, once we'd landed back in Birmingham, we knew that it wasn't going to be too long before we were home.
If anything, this trip has made me more determined to go back to Maderia, as the people are really friendly, and the scenery? Well, that's just spectacular, and deserves a longer trip to do the island justice.
Would I recommend going there? YES.
If you're into gardening, walking and good food, it's a real must see place, and one that I have every intention of going back to, as a week just wasn't long enough to see and do everything that I wanted to.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I've got bits and pieces to sort out before I go back to the playpen that I call an office, next week. (Boo, hiss.)
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Cable cars and a toboggan ride....?
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Sunday was a day for Mum and myself to get the last bits and pieces sorted out, and think about packing, ready to leave for Birmingham on the Monday morning.
Mum and I decided that we would head up on the cable car to Monte, so we could have a look around, and possibly go around Monte Palace Gardens.
Again, the pictures that I took were the ones that my dratted camera wiped off, and it annoys me intensely, knowing what a spectacular view it was, going up to Monte. We'd only bought a one way ticket, as I was hoping that I was going to be able to talk Mum into going down the hill with me.
That had to be put on hold, as Mum wasn't fit enough to endure the bumping that the trip was going to involve. So, we opted for a drink at the cable car station, and talked about the things that we needed to sort out before we flew home.
It wasn't that much, as we agreed that we would pick up the last little bits and pieces at the airport if necessary, and that the rest of the day, we were going to spend by the pool!
Time to call this quits - my eyes are getting heavy.
Back tomorrow.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Central Maderia - cherries and chestnuts
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Saturday was another early start for Mum and myself. This time, it was because we were going to see the central part of Madeira.
Again, I noticed the changes in the vegetation as we travelled towards the first stop towards the northern edge of Funchal. It gave both Mum and myself to see the city in all its glory (including the unforgettable sight that is Reid’s Palace – the only reason that I mention this, is because it’s painted pink!)
Yet again, the photos that I took were wiped off the memory card – all I can say is –thank god for having two cameras – Mum’s card wasn’t wiped when I tried to transfer the images to the computer.
We travelled in-land to the Nun’s Valley, and our guide explained the reason behind the naming of this area. Apparently, in the 15th century, Madeira was regularly attacked by pirates who used to steal the riches from the churches and other religious places in Funchal.
One group of nuns found this intolerable, and so decided that they would find a safe area to hide their wealth from the nunnery, and used this one particular levada – a walk of about 5 hours.
Because of this particular valley being so remote, it was a perfect hiding place for the island’s wealth, and so became known as the Nuns Valley. From what our guide was telling us (and I’ll be only too happy to accept corrections from Madeirans) the valley was hardly accessible by road until the late 1970s / early 1980s.
Again, I noticed the changes in the vegetation as we travelled towards the first stop towards the northern edge of Funchal. It gave both Mum and myself to see the city in all its glory (including the unforgettable sight that is Reid’s Palace – the only reason that I mention this, is because it’s painted pink!)
Yet again, the photos that I took were wiped off the memory card – all I can say is –thank god for having two cameras – Mum’s card wasn’t wiped when I tried to transfer the images to the computer.
We travelled in-land to the Nun’s Valley, and our guide explained the reason behind the naming of this area. Apparently, in the 15th century, Madeira was regularly attacked by pirates who used to steal the riches from the churches and other religious places in Funchal.
One group of nuns found this intolerable, and so decided that they would find a safe area to hide their wealth from the nunnery, and used this one particular levada – a walk of about 5 hours.
Because of this particular valley being so remote, it was a perfect hiding place for the island’s wealth, and so became known as the Nuns Valley. From what our guide was telling us (and I’ll be only too happy to accept corrections from Madeirans) the valley was hardly accessible by road until the late 1970s / early 1980s.
The valley itself was quite beautiful, and whilst the rest of the tour party went to try the chestnut cake and the cherry brandy that the valley is renowned for,I opted to go and see the local church.
Why? Simple. I loathe cherries, and I'm allergic to nuts, so both of those "treats" were out of the question for me. I re-joined the party, and we headed back towards Funchal - via Camara de
Lobos (I think the translation is Place of Wolves - something to do with the seals that are there.)
Apparently, it was Winston Churchill's favourite place to go and paint whilst he was on holiday in Maderia (he stayed at Reid's Palace). It may have been beautiful in the 1930s, but I'm afraid that it has been spoilt by an ugly exapnse of concrete that goes right up to the sea wall.
The rest of the day was spent quietly by the hotel swimming pool, with Mum and myself planning our final trip before getting ready to fly back to Birmingham..
Guess I should call this quits - it's my turn to feed Fred, and he's not patient when he's hungry!
Back tomorrow.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Timeshare and Maderia Wine...
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Friday, Mum and I went to have a look at a time-share that our hotel group was pushing. So, the pair of us got the bus that was sent and went to have a look. To be honest, neither of us were really that interested, but the bribe (ok – I mean incentive) was worth it – a beautiful book on Madeira that was worth about £35.
The guy who met us was no salesman at all – and when he took Mum and me to one of the so-called apartments, he sat in a chair and made no effort to ensure that Mum and I were making the right decision as far as he was concerned – i.e. saying “yes” to taking a 10 year timeshare.
There were a number of things that put the pair of us off, one of them being the lack of privacy. The balcony appeared to be overlooked on three sides and also shared facilities with the five-star hotel on the site. Add into that, you would be up in the hotel zone (meaning that if we had wanted to go into Funchal, we would have needed to get the courtesy bus) and the financial side also didn’t add up either.
So, it was an easy decision for the pair of us – thanks, but no thanks – simply because it just wasn’t the sort if place that we were interested in.
Or next point of call was the Old Blandy Wine Lodge. (See http://www.blandys.com/) Neither Mum nor I had any idea about Madeira wine (I always thought it was disgustingly sweet. Boy – was I about to be proven wrong!)
The best bit was, apart from being able to go on the tour of the winery (Mum and I didn’t do that, simply because Mum didn’t feel up to going) was the try before you buy bar.
The bar itself was nicely done – the tables and chairs were made from old barrels. Whilst Mum got comfortable on the seat, I went to the bar…
To my surprise (and delight) there was more than just the very sweet dessert wine available – there was a choice of super sweet to dry. Mum opted to try the Verdehlo variety (a medium dry) and I opted for the Sercial variety (a dry wine.)
Needless to day, bottles were bought, and up the corner of the bar, was a group of tourists (I’m still not sure if they were German or Scandinavian – I do know that they were very drunk!)
The rest of the afternoon was spent lazing by the pool (yes – I managed to get sunburnt – my fault for being daft and not putting waterproof sunscreen on!)
Ah well, suppose I should log off and bog off - Mum's just called to say that we've got visitors and I'm supposed to be making an appearance - worst luck!
Back when I can escape!
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
The guy who met us was no salesman at all – and when he took Mum and me to one of the so-called apartments, he sat in a chair and made no effort to ensure that Mum and I were making the right decision as far as he was concerned – i.e. saying “yes” to taking a 10 year timeshare.
There were a number of things that put the pair of us off, one of them being the lack of privacy. The balcony appeared to be overlooked on three sides and also shared facilities with the five-star hotel on the site. Add into that, you would be up in the hotel zone (meaning that if we had wanted to go into Funchal, we would have needed to get the courtesy bus) and the financial side also didn’t add up either.
So, it was an easy decision for the pair of us – thanks, but no thanks – simply because it just wasn’t the sort if place that we were interested in.
Or next point of call was the Old Blandy Wine Lodge. (See http://www.blandys.com/) Neither Mum nor I had any idea about Madeira wine (I always thought it was disgustingly sweet. Boy – was I about to be proven wrong!)
The best bit was, apart from being able to go on the tour of the winery (Mum and I didn’t do that, simply because Mum didn’t feel up to going) was the try before you buy bar.
The bar itself was nicely done – the tables and chairs were made from old barrels. Whilst Mum got comfortable on the seat, I went to the bar…
To my surprise (and delight) there was more than just the very sweet dessert wine available – there was a choice of super sweet to dry. Mum opted to try the Verdehlo variety (a medium dry) and I opted for the Sercial variety (a dry wine.)
Needless to day, bottles were bought, and up the corner of the bar, was a group of tourists (I’m still not sure if they were German or Scandinavian – I do know that they were very drunk!)
The rest of the afternoon was spent lazing by the pool (yes – I managed to get sunburnt – my fault for being daft and not putting waterproof sunscreen on!)
Ah well, suppose I should log off and bog off - Mum's just called to say that we've got visitors and I'm supposed to be making an appearance - worst luck!
Back when I can escape!
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
The Gardens Tour
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Karen
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Thursday, Mum and I went on a half day tour, as the pair of us wanted to have a bit of time to relax – we were both of the opinion that a holiday was supposed to be a time for the pair of us to kick back and relax (as well as the fact that Mum was getting tired – her hip was playing her up quite a bit and she was finding walking painful and slow!)
The tour was advertised as being a chance to see two of Madeira’s most famous gardens – Blandys and the botanical gardens.
In theory, this was a good trip, as the guide was supposed to be a trained botanist (emphasis on supposed) and was going to be helpful and informative.
Nothing could have been further from the truth. The guide was surly and her knowledge (and helpfulness) left an awful lot to be desired. She didn’t seem too impressed with the fact that Mum was on a walking stick, and when we got to Blandy’s gardens, that was when the fun started.
The path (ok – cobbled walkway) was a very steep gradient and was not exactly very friendly to someone who is non-too steady on their feet.
So, Mum asked what time we were to meet back at the coach, and said that she would make her own way around the gardens, and that I could get pictures of the things that she missed and vice versa.
The guide wasn’t very keen on that idea, but given the strength of Mum’s personality (and the fact that she was determined to do that anyway!) she didn’t really have much option!
In hindsight, I wish I’d gone with Mum as well, simply because she saw things that I missed – including an 8ft tall dahlia! Instead, our so-called botanist guide pointed out boring things such as delphiniums. Excuse me – if I’d wanted to see delphiniums, I’d have looked in the back garden at home!
We stopped for a coffee (it turned out to be a 3/4hr stop, during which time our illustrious guide spent most of the time yapping on her mobile phone) and so, left the group to do some exploring…
The tour was advertised as being a chance to see two of Madeira’s most famous gardens – Blandys and the botanical gardens.
In theory, this was a good trip, as the guide was supposed to be a trained botanist (emphasis on supposed) and was going to be helpful and informative.
Nothing could have been further from the truth. The guide was surly and her knowledge (and helpfulness) left an awful lot to be desired. She didn’t seem too impressed with the fact that Mum was on a walking stick, and when we got to Blandy’s gardens, that was when the fun started.
The path (ok – cobbled walkway) was a very steep gradient and was not exactly very friendly to someone who is non-too steady on their feet.
So, Mum asked what time we were to meet back at the coach, and said that she would make her own way around the gardens, and that I could get pictures of the things that she missed and vice versa.
The guide wasn’t very keen on that idea, but given the strength of Mum’s personality (and the fact that she was determined to do that anyway!) she didn’t really have much option!
In hindsight, I wish I’d gone with Mum as well, simply because she saw things that I missed – including an 8ft tall dahlia! Instead, our so-called botanist guide pointed out boring things such as delphiniums. Excuse me – if I’d wanted to see delphiniums, I’d have looked in the back garden at home!
We stopped for a coffee (it turned out to be a 3/4hr stop, during which time our illustrious guide spent most of the time yapping on her mobile phone) and so, left the group to do some exploring…
The last stop was to the Botanical Gardens. This was much more to mine and Mum’s liking, as there were plenty of native Madeiran plants – most of which Mum and I had only seen in glasshouses at Kew Gardens! In fact, we spent less time at the botanical gardens than we did having a coffee at Blandy’s! However, Mum and I were able to get some lovely photographs (again – mine were on the card that got wiped – learnt my lesson from that!)
In hindsight, I wish that Mum and I had gone to the Botanic gardens on our own, and missed the Blandy’s garden bit out. But, if we hadn’t gone, we would have always wondered what we had missed out on.
We got back to the hotel and had lunch, and decided that we wanted to go to one of the orchid nurseries that we’d both been reading about. So, we decided to get a taxi up to the one that we had chosen…
Thankfully, the taxi driver said that he would wait for us, as there were no taxis in the area... We were a bit dubious, but we agreed and it was a good thing, as the nursery was off a track, off a back street in the upper end of Funchal!
The exhibits however, were well worth the trip... Both Mum and I were salivating over the blooms, and not for the first time I was wishing that we had the right conditions to grow such beautiful blooms.
There were some that I recognised, but most of them, I didn’t and I just enjoyed taking photographs of them:
Guess I should call this quits – I need to get some sleep – got a busy day tomorrow!
Back when I get the chance…
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
Western Maderia
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Karen
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Wednesday, Mum and I were up quite early (as in 06:30 - not a nice experience when you're supposed to be on holiday!) and the pair of us were amazed that it was still dark!
So, we headed down to breakfast, and then walked to the meeting point, by the cable car station. It was a nice walk, and Mum and I were hoping that it was going to be a good day weather wise, as we'd been warned that the weather could change rather rapidly when you were up in the mountains
The mini-bus arrived, and we duly hopped on board, to complete the rest of the pick ups... There was a slight technical hitch with the microphone, but that was soon resolved and we were on our way.
One of the things that I did notice was that every spare piece of land seemed to have bananas and sugar cane growing on it up to 2,000 feet, and then it changed to grapevines. The guide explained that this was due to the climate of the island and that and sugar cane had played an important part in the island's economy in the past, but was unable to compete with the cheaper imports.
The first stop was at a viewpoint – and what a view it was! It was the top of one of the highest sea-cliffs in the world (the exact height escapes me – all I know was that it was very scary looking down!)
The next point of call was a small village (this was one of the pictures that my damned camera managed to lose!) where we had a walk around, and looked out over the beach. Bad choice of phrase really – there are no beaches on Madeira – the coast line tends to be a straight drop into the Atlantic ocean.
Lunch was taken at the most westerly point of the island – where there are some of the most spectacular sea cliffs I have ever seen.
The food was really good – I chose the eschpada (black scabbard fish). It wouldn’t win any beauty awards, but it was certainly tasty – one of those things that you miss when you return to the UK!
We then headed across the central plateau of the island – where the clouds can be a fair distance away and then 10 minutes later, you’re enclosed in cloud and it’s raining!
The rest of the trip was quiet – both Mum and I were too busy admiring the scenery on the way back (and I will admit I was dozing in a couple of places - that was when I wasn’t flinching at the near misses that seemed to occur around every bend!)
Time to call this quits – I’ve still got to finish my un-packing!
Back when I get chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
So, we headed down to breakfast, and then walked to the meeting point, by the cable car station. It was a nice walk, and Mum and I were hoping that it was going to be a good day weather wise, as we'd been warned that the weather could change rather rapidly when you were up in the mountains
The mini-bus arrived, and we duly hopped on board, to complete the rest of the pick ups... There was a slight technical hitch with the microphone, but that was soon resolved and we were on our way.
One of the things that I did notice was that every spare piece of land seemed to have bananas and sugar cane growing on it up to 2,000 feet, and then it changed to grapevines. The guide explained that this was due to the climate of the island and that and sugar cane had played an important part in the island's economy in the past, but was unable to compete with the cheaper imports.
The first stop was at a viewpoint – and what a view it was! It was the top of one of the highest sea-cliffs in the world (the exact height escapes me – all I know was that it was very scary looking down!)
The next point of call was a small village (this was one of the pictures that my damned camera managed to lose!) where we had a walk around, and looked out over the beach. Bad choice of phrase really – there are no beaches on Madeira – the coast line tends to be a straight drop into the Atlantic ocean.
Lunch was taken at the most westerly point of the island – where there are some of the most spectacular sea cliffs I have ever seen.
The food was really good – I chose the eschpada (black scabbard fish). It wouldn’t win any beauty awards, but it was certainly tasty – one of those things that you miss when you return to the UK!
We then headed across the central plateau of the island – where the clouds can be a fair distance away and then 10 minutes later, you’re enclosed in cloud and it’s raining!
The rest of the trip was quiet – both Mum and I were too busy admiring the scenery on the way back (and I will admit I was dozing in a couple of places - that was when I wasn’t flinching at the near misses that seemed to occur around every bend!)
Time to call this quits – I’ve still got to finish my un-packing!
Back when I get chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
First full day in Madeira
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Karen
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Tuesday was a gentle day, which started with the welcome meeting from the tour rep. She was a nice lass and told us (Mum, myself and the rest of the group that had arrived on the same day / flight as us) about the island and some of the trips, as well as some of the things to try…
One of the things that she suggested that people try, was Poncha – made from firewater (ok – local rum or rhum as the Portuguese spell it) honey and lemon.
One of the things that she suggested that people try, was Poncha – made from firewater (ok – local rum or rhum as the Portuguese spell it) honey and lemon.
Apparently, it’s a real cure-all – three of them and what ever was wrong with you has been cured. (I put that down to the fact that it’s due to the fact that you’re so pissed, you can’t remember what was wrong with you in the first place!)
Mum and I decided that there were a couple of trips that we did want to do – i.e. the Western Madeira trip on the Wednesday, the half day gardens tour on Thursday and the Nuns Valley tour on the Saturday. The theory being that the rest of the week, Mum and I could spend relaxing by the pool or shopping in Funchal.
So, Tuesday after the meeting, Mum and I took an gentle walk to the Madeira story centre, which was just up the road from our hotel. It was really good - a great way to start the holiday, and had some superb exhibits - including the wax models illustrating various people from Maderian history.
The pirates were raiders of the islands during the late 15th century, and Mum made me laugh by saying that the one pirate didn't look too enthusiastic at all...!
There were other models - including this one of Napoleon:
Much as I hate to say it, Napoleon looks hungover in this pose, and there were several comments along the lines of "not tonight Joseph" But there was one display that did make my eyes light up...
It's one of the famous sledges that run from Monte and Mum said that she would see how she felt before saying that she would go down in it with me...
Then, it was a gentle stroll to the market (more on that later in my blog) and a stop off for a bite to eat, before heading back to the hotel to get changed for dinner, and grabbing an early night, as we'd got to be up super early the following day...
Time to call this quits - my eyes are getting tired.
Back when I get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Back from Madeira
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Karen
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This is the first time that I’ve had chance to put finger to keyboard and has become my normal trick – I’ve got loads of pictures from my holiday – even if my damned camera decided to wipe out all of the images off one memory card!
But, despite that setback, I’ve got loads of pictures – some of which I will publish – others that will remain in the collection for personal reasons.
As with past trips, I think the best way is for me do treat each day as a separate post, so that it doesn’t just become a blur, and get confusing. This first post will deal with the trials and tribulations of travel on the outbound leg…
The flight out would have been fine – apart from the fact that I felt like I’d been crammed into a veal pen. I should have guessed that things were not going to go very smoothly, when the snotty cow on the check-in desk decided to give Mum and myself a hard time over the hand baggage weight.
She said that you were only allowed 5kg, and that Mum’s flight bag was overweight and would have to have some bits put into the case as my own case was on the weight limit as well. (I couldn’t find any information on the weight allowances on the tickets, but I was too pissed off to argue with the cow.)
I resorted to taking the one guide book out and putting it into my pocket (I got glared at) and then we were allowed to check in. I swear the miserable female decided to get her own back on the pair of us – she gave us our boarding passes – no problem. The problem arose when we realised where we were seated – Right at the back of the aircraft – the last row of seats, meaning that we couldn’t recline the seats if we wanted!
Add into that it was a bloody long walk to the gate (a rugby scrum is more organised than that plane’s boarding system!) and you get the general idea.
The flight itself was uneventful (and bloody boring – thank god for having a decent book to read – Trudi Canavan’s Black Magician trilogy – book 1 – the Magician’s Guild)
Once in the air, I lost count of the number of times that the trolleys went up and down the aisle (and as the galley was at the back – right behind the seats that Mum and I had been assigned (we were the poor mugs right by the aisle!)) we soon got fed up with them barging past us the whole time.
Thankfully, the weather in Madeira made up for it, and the transfer was relatively smooth to our hotel. We were staying in the old part of town – away from the so-called hotel zone in the west of Funchal.
But, despite that setback, I’ve got loads of pictures – some of which I will publish – others that will remain in the collection for personal reasons.
As with past trips, I think the best way is for me do treat each day as a separate post, so that it doesn’t just become a blur, and get confusing. This first post will deal with the trials and tribulations of travel on the outbound leg…
The flight out would have been fine – apart from the fact that I felt like I’d been crammed into a veal pen. I should have guessed that things were not going to go very smoothly, when the snotty cow on the check-in desk decided to give Mum and myself a hard time over the hand baggage weight.
She said that you were only allowed 5kg, and that Mum’s flight bag was overweight and would have to have some bits put into the case as my own case was on the weight limit as well. (I couldn’t find any information on the weight allowances on the tickets, but I was too pissed off to argue with the cow.)
I resorted to taking the one guide book out and putting it into my pocket (I got glared at) and then we were allowed to check in. I swear the miserable female decided to get her own back on the pair of us – she gave us our boarding passes – no problem. The problem arose when we realised where we were seated – Right at the back of the aircraft – the last row of seats, meaning that we couldn’t recline the seats if we wanted!
Add into that it was a bloody long walk to the gate (a rugby scrum is more organised than that plane’s boarding system!) and you get the general idea.
The flight itself was uneventful (and bloody boring – thank god for having a decent book to read – Trudi Canavan’s Black Magician trilogy – book 1 – the Magician’s Guild)
Once in the air, I lost count of the number of times that the trolleys went up and down the aisle (and as the galley was at the back – right behind the seats that Mum and I had been assigned (we were the poor mugs right by the aisle!)) we soon got fed up with them barging past us the whole time.
Thankfully, the weather in Madeira made up for it, and the transfer was relatively smooth to our hotel. We were staying in the old part of town – away from the so-called hotel zone in the west of Funchal.
The hotel itself (the Porto Santa Maria) was very nice (see http://www.portostamaria.com/index/pb/portosantamaria.html) and proved to be a perfect base to start our exploration of the island.
Time to call this quits – we’ve got visitors.
Back later…
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
Time to call this quits – we’ve got visitors.
Back later…
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
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