Trying to get back in the saddle, and other issues...

Well this weekend has been somewhat of a surprise. I went down to Milton Keynes with Mum on Saturday, and as per normal, started the trip in Marks & Spencer. Mum had seen a pair of trousers that she was quite taken with, and was looking for them. Now normally, this is a recipe for disaster, as very often the store hasn’t got the size that she is looking for, or if the size is available, it’s a revolting colour that Mum won’t wear.

But the shopping gods must have been smiling on us, as Mum not only got the trousers that she’d been looking at, but a pair of jeans as well. This is almost unheard of for Mum – it’s normally me that manages things like that.

So, it was then on to another store, and another success for Mum – she manage to get a really pretty t-shirt, and it didn’t cost a fortune! After that, it was just a case of wandering around, as there were only a couple of places that I wanted to go to – one was John Lewis (I’m still trying to find the perfume by Balmain – Ambergris).

Now I would have thought that John Lewis would have been the sort of store to stock the more “unusual” fragrances, as it prides itself on being slightly more above the herd that places like Debenhams.

I was less than impressed when I got a glazed look in response to my enquiry about Ambergris (the one guy didn’t even know who Balmain was), and was told that “we have lots of other nice perfumes available.” That’s fine if you don’t know what you’re looking for, but if you’re looking for a specific perfume, don’t tell someone about something totally different!

So, muttering darkly about the lack of common sense that was displayed, it was then off to our usual coffee stop – Costa Coffee in Waterstones. Again, Waterstones was something of a let down for Mum – she was looking for the Nick Ferrari book - The World and London According to Nick Ferrari. Me? I was looking for holiday reading (Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel being one of the titles I was looking for.)

Unfortunately, Waterstones let the pair of down, simply because Wolf Hall was on three for two (not a problem there), but there were no other books that I wanted to get as well as Wolf Hall.

Then, we decided to call it quits, as Mum was starting to get tired (and her back was pulling) and headed to the supermarket. Now this was more successful than Waterstones, as I managed to get Wolf Hall and a two in one by Kathy Reichs – both of which will be going on holiday with me.

Now onto today. Since I lost my beloved horse, Heart of Flame, my friends have been doing their bit to make me smile, and more to the point, encourage me to go and look for another horse. This has been something I have been reluctant to do, as I am still tying to come to terms with Flame’s untimely death. However, this was a deal that was done between Rachel and Mum, the idea being that if they sprung it on me, I couldn’t wriggle out.

Needless to say, the first I knew of this was when Rachel called me on Friday night, asking me if I’d still got my body armour and hat. I said that I had, and she left it at that, sot saying anymore until the end of the call when she dropped her little bomb on me. She’d arranged for me to go and see a two year-old thoroughbred, who was the sister of her horse, Tequila Sunrise.

I will admit to being speechless (and missed the chance to try and escape from this commitment).

So, this morning, I found myself in the back of Rachel’s car, heading to the wilds of Worcestershire, with my riding hat, body armour & riding boots in the boot of the car, as I didn’t know what to expect.

We arrived at this ordinary looking house (I honestly don’t know what I was expecting – a mansion I think!) and were greeted warmly by the breeder. He was a typical country gent, complete with the battered green Barbour coat, corduroy trousers, green wellington boots and this was capped off by a battered flat cap of indeterminate colour.

I looked over the paddocks, and there were quite a few young horses grazing, but one that really caught my eye. She was a black filly, and just seemed to have something about her that just seemed to speak to me...

She came bounding over (a bit like an over enthusiastic kid) and stood patiently whilst I made a fuss of her. I turned my back, and she wandered off to graze. Whilst we were talking, I felt this warm breath on my neck, and the little filly had come over to see me, and was resting her head on my shoulder!

I gave her a gentle (if absent minded) scratch, and was rewarded with horse dribble on my shoulder. I haven’t bought her (yet) because I am waiting for my vet to go and check her over – he may well pick up on something that I miss, meaning that I will have needless vets’ bills and heartache in the future.

Ah well, I guess I should call this quits – I need to get some bits and pieces sorted out before I return to the playpen.

Back tomorrow if I get the chance…

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Questions you just can't answer

Sometimes, something really good hits my inbox – and this is one of them. I make no apology for posting this – it made me giggle.

Enjoy.


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most


************************************************************

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder.....


Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

 Stop singing and read on........

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

Something that made me grin

It’s not often that a party election poster makes me smile (or even laugh out loud) – most of them cause me to grit my teeth, and wish the damned election was over and done with. But these two posters did make me smile – the second one more than the first:

This struck a chord with me - not because I support the Labour party (I'm not even sure that I support the Conservative party if I'm honest) - it's just because in the early part of the 1980s, the Audi Quattro was the car to have. Every petrol head wanted one – I had a poster of the Quattro in full “flight” when it was rallying:

So, seeing these two posters did bring a smile to my face, if only for the memories that the car itself brought back to me.

Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I've got to start thinking about getting dinner sorted.

Back later (if I get the chance)

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Back from Chester

Well, I’m back home, and as I type this, I am struggling to keep my eyes open. Why? Because I drove back from Chester this afternoon, (ok, it’s only 105 miles, but it seems a heck of a lot further!) and I didn’t sleep very well last night. Ok – Friday night I crashed out – but that was because I’d been on the go since 06:00 Friday morning, and I’d spent about four hours walking around Cheshire Oaks Shopping Outlet.

Friday wasn’t too bad – I expected to get drenched (at least that was the weather forecast) and so Mum and I spent the time dodging into various stores. Our first proper stop was the Marks &Spencer outlet where I managed to get some bits and pieces, and discovered the reason why I’d not seen the stock in the “regular” M&S stores. It turns out that they (M&S) have some stock specially made for the outlet stores, meaning that if you want a particular item in a certain pattern / colour, then you have to travel to one of these dratted outlet stores, which is a bit of a pain, as the nearest shop that I know of is in Mansfield.

Aside from that, Cheshire Oaks was quite good for me (yes – I visited the Cadbury’s Shop again) and also managed to get a couple of bits from La Senza, for less than the price of one item. But the real achievement for me was being able to get some Revlon eye shadow for £3.00. Now I know people will be thinking that this must have been an old colour, hence the reason for it being so cheap. Well, as this shop was a Revlon group outlet, it meant that it was current stock. So I was more than happy to get that, especially as it is £7.99 on the high street.

Then it was to our overnight stopping point – the Premier Inn attached to the Twirl of Hay (think it’s listed as Chester south-east). I know I was not impressed with this restaurant/ bar the last time I visited Chester, but this time, things seemed to be a lot better. The menu seemed slightly better and I don’t know if it was my imagination, but the seating seemed more spacious. But this could have been due to the change of table shape – round instead of square, meaning that there was more space for diners.

After dinner, it was a case of heading back to the room (which was comfortable and clean – what I’ve come to expect from the Premier Inns whenever I’ve stayed at them) and sorting out the plans for the following day.

As per normal, Mum and I went to breakfast at 08:00, with the idea being that we would get the bits from the room that we wanted (things like my camera and my car keys) after breakfast. Breakfast itself was good – the staff couldn’t do enough to help Mum and myself. However, the family from Hell shattered our peace. Ok – let me be more specific. The mother from Hell.

They weren’t sitting on the table next to us originally, but the selfish cow decided to move them to the table next to us, and then proceeded to spend the next 30 + minutes berating her youngest child. I felt sorry for the poor little mite – she (the mother) was nagging her to eat the apple from the fruit salad. I could fully sympathise with the child – the apple was tasteless, and sour – and if I thought that, then God alone knows what that poor kid thought. Then she started berating the child for not drinking her milk – the child wanted to drink water. Ok – I can understand if the kid had been demanding Coca-Cola, but I couldn’t see what the problem was, as the kid had a bowl of cereal with milk already.

Needless to say, Mum and I didn’t linger over breakfast – more because we had plans to get into Chester than the family on the table next to us (but they didn’t really help). Once we’d got the bits from our room (ok – make that once I’d got the bits from our room – I wanted my camera and other bits that went with it) we then headed for the Park & Ride (think it’s the Broughton one).

We got into Chester, and I started taking photographs. The first one was the clock on the city wall (think it’s East gate) as I’ve always been fascinated by this imposing clock (and it’s one of the things that really sticks in my mind about Chester)

It was just a case of wandering around, and seeing what was what. I will say one thing about Chester – it’s not somewhere that I would make a specific shopping trip, as there are very few chain stores – but that’s not something that I am too unhappy about, as it makes for a more interesting trip. Again, I went to the Royal Perfumery, and admittedly I didn’t find the perfume that I was looking for this time (it’s the “new” Balmain perfume – Ambergris (according to the very helpful young lady in the store, it was launched in 2008.)

We then had a walk around and as it was getting towards lunch time, we decided to find somewhere for lunch. Again, we found a really good pub – the Victoria, which is located on Watergate Row North.

Apparently, this is the oldest pub in Chester (I only know this because I bought a postcard showing the historic pubs in Chester – it’s listed as the Chester heritage pub crawl – but apparently most of the pubs on this postcard are now closed). Despite this, the food was really good, as was the service and Mum and I really enjoyed the peace and quiet – not to mention the sit down.

After lunch, we started exploring again, and we came across a fascinating shop – the Cartoon Gallery, which is located on Watergate Row South (see The Cartoon Gallery Ltd) There were several prints that had me giggling, and both Mum and I agreed that we wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face if we worked there.

After that, we headed towards the Cathedral (I’d been promising myself that I would go this time, hence the reason for the camera being with me). Mum didn’t fancy walking around with me, and we agreed that I would meet her at a coffee shop nearby, and off I went.

The Cathedral charges an admission of £5.00, this is to help maintain the building, as well as provide funds for the heating and lighting of the building. As I walked in, I heard people complaining about this charge, and to be honest, I couldn’t see the issue with it, as Coventry Cathedral does the same thing.

The first thing that I noticed as I entered the Cathedral, was the stained glass panels on the left hand side.

Then, going through the doors into the main body of the Cathedral, there were the most amazing mosaic panels, depicting figures from the Old Testament.

The rest of the Cathederal was something special, and I think that the best thing I can do is let the photographs do the talking (I’ll try to put some details where I can)

This picture was painted on caterpiller silk!

After I’d been around the Cathederal, I went to join Mum, and head back to the park and ride bus stop. Or at least that was the plan… I’d been after a couple of bits in my favourite store (Lush) and as it was en-route, I said that I would stop in there to get the bits that I wanted.

The staff were real stars, and I managed to get everything that I’d wanted, (including the new serum bar, Saving Face) and met several people that I’d been chatting to on the Lush Forum, and even found out some information on why one of my favourite products was being discontinued.

It was then time to get the park and ride bus back. This was like a rugby scrum (without the discipline) but me being a very cheeky brat managed to get a seat for Mum, as she was really suffering with her back (think she managed to sleep awkwardly on Friday night), so that meant that she was able to sit down for the short trip back to the park and ride.

We got back to the car, and as today is Easter Sunday, I thought it was advisable to refuel the car, as I wasn’t sure if the petrol station at Sainsbury’s was going to be open today (as it turned out, it was, but it would have been just my luck for it to have been closed).

I have to admit, I was really pleased, as the car took just under 15 litres of petrol, meaning that I’d got a range on the fuel tank of over 440miles! Not bad for a 1.6 120bph automatic…

Saturday night wasn’t too bad, apart from the inconsiderate idiots in the Premier Inn (but that was nothing that the staff could assist with – short of banging on doors at 08:00 this morning.)

There was one plus side though this morning – the family from hell were no-where near us, and the lad who served us was horrified as apparently, kids are not allowed in the area where Mum and I had chosen to sit.

After breakfast, we headed back to the room, and as the Malaysian Grand Prix started at 09:00, I was able to watch the race from start to finish, and then get the little bit of packing done and we were able to get on the road back home.

As it is Easter Sunday, we weren’t sure if there would be anything open en-route, due to the Sunday trading laws. However, we were lucky as the antiques centre near Bridgemere Garden World was open (we think that they got around the rules because it was individuals trading under one roof, so it wasn’t one large shop (or barn) that was being used).

It was really busy, and both Mum and I were of the opinion that people were so used to being able to go shopping on a Sunday, that they were desperate for something to do, hence the reason why there were so many people there.

Ah well, I guess I should call this quits – I’ve got stuff to do, including sorting the car out (I’m out of screen wash!)

Back when I get the chance…


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Complaint

Again, I make no apologies for posting this - it's the sort of thing that just brings a silly grin to my face.

Enjoy.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

**********

Dear Sir,

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Pension, an arrangement, which, I admit, has been in place for only thirty eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:

1. To make an appointment to see me.
2. To query a missing payment.
3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7. To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.)
8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through to 8.
9. To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an
establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.

Your Humble Client

Obituary

I make no apologies for posting this – it made me laugh.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

***********************************

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71…

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Born and bread in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half- baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes

Being reduced to tears… By a book

It’s not often that a book does this to me, but last night, a book managed to reduce me to tears. Not once, but a total of four times.

This is something of a record for me, as I’m not normally the sort that cries at this sort of thing, but this book for some reason just hooked me totally. It’s Succubus Shadows by Richelle Meade (think it’s book number five in the Georgina Kincaid series)

So, as I’m sitting on the sofa last night, I got towards the end of the book, and that was it – I lost it in about four different places, and looked a total wreck by the time that I had finished the book.

It was the ending that totally got me, and I won’t spoil it for people, suffice to say that it was somewhat unexpected, and I now can’t wait for the next instalment – whenever that’s going to be!

Guess I should think about doing some w*rk, but I’m suffering from TNFI – and it’s only Tuesday!

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Traffic Camera

Well, the jokes are coming in thick and fast today – people must have realised that I was grumpy cow when I came in this morning, so have decided to try and cheer me up.

This is the latest joke to hit my inbox – enjoy.


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most


**********************************************

I was driving when I saw the flash of a traffic camera. I figured that my picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though I knew that I was not speeding. Just to be sure, I went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now I began to think that this was quite funny, so I drove even slower as I passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed. I tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while I rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, I got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.


You can't fix stupid.

The scent of freshness

Apologies if this has already been posted, but it really made me laugh...

Enjoy.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

*********************************

A new supermarket opened in Double Bay, Sydney, Australia

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the distant sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh cut hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks and bratwurst.

In the liquor department, the fresh, clean, crisp smell of tapped John Smith's beer.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalising smell of fresh baked bread & cakes.

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

What have we learned in 2,065 years?

I make no apologies for this post - I think it sums up the UK's situation perfectly.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

*************************************

"The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed, lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance."

Cicero - 55 BC


Nothing, apparently.

The weekend, and other rants

I apologise now – this post will be full of ranting, as quite a few things riled me over this weekend (and on the way into work if I’m honest!)

The weekend started ok – Mum and I headed for Milton Keynes (we had been planning to go to the Peak Shopping village, but as the weather was rotten, we decided against that option) we got parked, again, no problems and started shopping.

Mum was looking for a lightweight jacket, something slightly heavier than her rain coat and lighter than her fleece. Now you would have thought that it would have been an easy job. Not a chance. The coats that were available were either revolting colours (bright orange, anyone?) or had a hood on them (I think Mum’s comment was along the lines of “I’m not looking like a bloody pixy!”)

Aside from that, it wasn’t too bad until we got to Waterstones. Now I’m a great bookworm (I read most things within reason – just not Mills & Boon or anything by Barbara Cartland – I draw the line there!) and was starting the hunt for holiday reading. I know I’ve got three months, but the sooner I start, the better.

So, I was able to find the one book I was really interested in – Wolf Hall – on the Waterstones 3 for 2 offer… Could I find any others? Could I hell. So it wasn’t worth me getting the one book (think it’s about £7.99) without getting something else to go with it.

Then it was into Lush. As per normal, the staff in there were superstars, and were only too happy to reassure me about the “disappearance” of one my favourite products – Heavenly Bodies (it’s a divine chocolate smelling soft soap, that works miracles on my skin in the shower).

So, it was then into Debenhams. Which was like a rugby scrum (ok – a scrum without the discipline) and sales people (whom I am guessing are on commission) squirting revolting perfumes into the air. And people wonder why I dislike going in there?

Needless to say, it wasn’t very good, and I wasn’t too impressed with the stock that I saw. It was either very expensive (things that were priced £59 and above, when they looked worth about £9) or it was totally impractical.

So, we headed back to the car, and went food shopping. Not bad, but the Tesco was a bit of a mess layout wise (in my opinion anyway) but the cider was on offer (as the prices have risen 10% above inflation as of midnight last night) it was worth me buying some!

Sunday wasn’t too bad (apart from the fact that we moved onto BST – meaning I lost an hour in bed!) – I watched the Australian Formula 1 Grand Prix, before heading out to Evesham.

As Mum had somehow managed to pull a muscle in her back, I drove. Now normally, this isn’t a problem. The problem arose when I got onto the single carriageway. Simply because there was a cycle race in progress. I mean, what idiot allows a cycle race on a major road? Ok – I admit it was a Sunday, but the A46 is not a pleasant road, simply because of the amount of heavy goods vehicles that use it.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the damned race then went down the duel carriageway (which has a speed limit of 70mph) towards Evesham, and they (the cyclists) were so intent on their damned racing, that they were taking no notice of any other traffic around them – including cars that wanted to turn at an island that they were using as their personal bend, to sling them back up the other side of the carriageway towards Stratford-Upon-Avon.

I muttered several things about the parentage of the idiot that allowed the road to be used for this race, and said that I would be amazed if someone wasn’t seriously hurt. Well, one of these days, I’ll listen to my instincts… Whilst I was in the garden centre, I heard a helicopter, very fast and very low. When I came out of the garden centre, I looked across towards the A46… And saw the Midlands Air Ambulance hovering, looking for a place to land.

So, as I went to exit onto the island that the cyclists had been merrily whizzing around (totally oblivious to the traffic around them) I saw that the police had blocked the northbound (the one heading towards Stratford) and were just moving the cones to allow a fast response paramedic access to the road.

I guess that one (or possibly more) had encountered some traffic, with nasty results. Don’t get me wrong, I know that in a collision, a cyclist will inevitably come off worst, but these cyclists were the type that I call Lycra Louts – the ones that are totally single minded about their race, and be damned to anything (or anyone) that uses the same piece of road.

So that meant that I had to use an alternative route home. Not a problem as I find the A46 boring (not to mention bad for the fuel economy on the car and equally bad for my driving licence!) The road wasn’t too bad, and I guessed that the police were sending people back to the motorway, if they wanted to get to Stratford. However, those of us with local knowledge used to old road and avoided the massive detour the accident had forced onto the traffic.

Now onto today’s rant. As I was heading into work, it started to rain. Ok – this is the UK in spring, and you accept things like this. I was always told that you used dipped headlights, to allow other road users to see you. I ended up losing count of the number of people that had either no light on at all, or pea bulbs that masquerade as sidelights.

Add into that, you had the “I’ve got 5 mins to get to work” brigade, and driving is not fun, especially when you seem to spend more time watching your rear-view mirror, trying to make sure that the prat behind you doesn’t rear-end you because it’s too damned close to stop!

Ah well, enough ranting for now – I guess I should think about doing some w*rk, but I’ve got severe TNFI, and it’s only Monday… But I guess this could be something to do with the fact that I’m only w*rking (or should that be attending) 3 ½ days this week, due to Easter and me having Thursday afternoon off…

Back later, if I get the chance.


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

ARRRGH!!!

I think this title sums up my feelings at the moment… I’ve just had a ‘phone call from my bank’s fraud prevention team. Because I’ve not used my bank card for the past couple of weeks (I’ve used cash to make the necessary purchases) they stopped my card because “the usage was out of pattern”.

Thanks, but getting a phone call like this (and a voicemail left as well) really shook me up. OK – I appreciate why they stopped my card (thank god I found out now and not when I was trying to use the card to pay for something) but it does scare you a bit.

Because I was able to identify the various bits and prices (petrol, Amazon book purchase, Kipling (Mum’s birthday present)) they unblocked the card. In a way, it’s good to know they are keeping tabs on things, but a call like that does scare the smeg out of you (especially as I’ve had my card cloned in the past!)

Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I need to be seen to be getting on with some work…

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Cider drinking: What's the a-peel?

This comes straight from the BBC website – I’ll put my comments at the end.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

************************
The government has whacked a big increase on cider duty, but what is it about the apple-based beverage that excites such strong passions from drinkers?

Cider is going to cost more. Duty rates will increase by 10% above inflation and it's going to have fans spluttering into their scrumpy.

Recent years have been good to cider drinkers and the industry that goes with it. The marketing drive carried out by Irish brand Magners in the mid-2000s changed everything.

Marketing people called it the "cider-over-ice" effect, and the adverts conjured up images of hazy summer days spent with photogenic friends in Grade I-listed country pubs. Sales rocketed, doubling across the UK between 2004 and 2008, according to the Welsh Perry and Cider Society.

But cider has a dark side, craft producer Roy Bailey of Lambourn Valley notes.  "There are a lot of 'industrial' high strength ciders not greatly connected to apples," he says. "These are the ones people get from supermarkets and get drunk in parks."

Such brews are a fixture on park benches in many areas of the country as well as providing a rite of passage for underage drinkers.

Gateway drink

So it's perhaps not surprising that a disproportionate tax on cider might seem like a good idea to those in power. Indeed cider with a strength over 7.5% will have its duty increased by even more than the 10% above inflation on ordinary strength cider.

CIDER FACTS
Romans said to have brewed alcohol from apples

Came to England after the Norman conquest

Made from apples that are crushed to press out the juice, which ferments spontaneously

Cider that is made by traditional methods - allowed to ferment naturally - is called scrumpy, from a word meaning small and shrivelled

"From 1 September 2010, the technical definition of cider will be changed to ensure products that more closely resemble made-wines [the strongest varieties] are taxed appropriately," the Budget Report says. "The industry has a very clear choice - it can either see this extra duty imposed or it can choose to reduce the alcoholic strength of its ciders," a Treasury Official told Reuters.

As a producer of fewer than 70 hectolitres of cider a year, Roy Bailey is in any case small enough to be exempt from duty under special rules. But he is still worried on the impact on other bigger craft producers.

"Most producers of craft cider are very civilised. People don't drink craft cider to get smashed," says Mr Bailey.  "Cider has greatly improved - it isn't just a rough farm drink. These people make quality products. Cider like this is really as good as wine. It's not a pub drink. More a drink to savour with a meal."

Yet for some cider struggles to shake off its stigma as a gateway drink to the grown-up world of alcohol. Sweet and fizzy, some varieties at least are as close in taste to a can of pop as they are to a delicately-brewed ale.

But that's a generalisation that takes no account of the wide range of ciders on the market, says Jan Gale, of cider pub the Coronation Tap in Bristol.

In-cider dealing

"It's quite sophisticated. It's not all rough, scrumpy cider for country folk," she says, batting away suggestions it's merely a drink for childish palates.

"It's sweet, dry, cloudy, carbonated, all sorts. It's a personal choice."

Fellow enthusiast, Richard Knibbs, rhapsodises about the simple pleasures of a pint.

"A really dry cider sets your tongue on fire. It's a different experience than beer," says Mr Knibbs, owner of Ye Olde Cider Bar in Newton Abbot, Devon, since 1973. "With bottled single-variety apple ciders, you get lovely, lovely flavour. Beers don't have the same lingering taste of a really nice cider".

Despite its explicit dedication to preserving traditional beer, the Campaign for Real Ale (Camra) also has a watching brief over the fortunes of cider.

It is understandably irked by the Treasury's sudden interest in the brew and is demanding government action to support and protect "small real cider producers".

"Hitting small real cider producers with this hike will cause irreparable damage to one of the nation's most historic craft industries," says Camra's chief executive Mike Benner. "The government must introduce a relief package to support the UK's small cider producers."

The British Beer and Pub Association has also indicated its annoyance at all of the rises on duty.

But perhaps the most alarming opposition came in the form of a statement released to news agencies by West Country folk group The Wurzels, known for their hit, I Am A Cider Drinker.

It read: "We are all very upset that scrumpy cider, being one of the few pleasures that we cherish down here on the farm in the West Country, is being hit by such a tax rise."

And while the groups music may struggle for mainstream appeal these days - they haven't troubled the top 40 in more than 30 years - their cider sentiments will doubtless have more popular appeal.

************************************************
Great. Another one of life's pleasures is to be taxed out of existance. I’m not one of these “binge drinkers” – in fact, it can take me about three days to drink a bottle of cider.

So, because the tax is due to hit on Sunday, I’m going to stock up tomorrow and make to most of my cider – regardless of what this “Big Brother” set up thinks.

Back later, if I get the chance.

K.

A non-event budget…

Well, our “beloved” chancellor has given the budget – and given that the election is a matter of weeks away (the date has yet to be confirmed, but most commentators are fairly sure that it will be May 6th) the budget was full of non- surprises – barring one.

I’ve taken the main points (i.e. the bits that affect me and my family) from the BBC website, and put my own comments below.

Fuel, Cigarettes & Alcohol Duties

3p fuel duty rise to be phased in, in three stages between April and January 2011 rather than in one go next month.

This kicks in on April 1st (rather appropriate), with further rises planned for October 1st and January 2011. I get the impression that the government panicked at the thought of 32 million fuming drivers voting in the election…

Cider duty to rise by 10% above inflation from midnight on Sunday.
Wine, beer and spirit duties to rise by 2% from midnight on Sunday and further 2% rise planned for two years from 2013.

Tobacco duty up 1% from midnight on Sunday and by 2% in real terms each year until 2014

As if this government hasn’t done enough to kill the pubs already. This will be almost the final nail in the coffin of the local pub. I guess that they (the government) are trying to hit the drinkers as the smokers are giving up.


Help for Business

£385m to maintain road network

Start repairing some bloody pot-holes! I thought that was what my road theft (sorry – road fund) licence was for!

Other Taxes & Allowances:

Limits on Individual Savings Accounts to rise in line with inflation
No changes to VAT or income tax planned
Inheritance tax threshold frozen for four years

Hmmm – talk about stealing the oppostion’s thunder. The Tories have been talking about inheritance tax for the past three years or so… The VAT has been left alone, because it caused more trouble than it was really worth and didn’t bring in as much money as was anticipated. Individual Savings Accounts (ISAs) at the moment are almost worthless, as the bank rate sucks if you’re a saver (it’s 0.5%) – good if you have a mortgage though…

Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I’m supposed to be w*rking, not blogging.

Back later, if I get the chance.


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Test drive crash results in £300,000 insurance claim

The phrase "Whoops" comes to mind on this one...

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most


************************************
Repairs to a supercar damaged when a test drive went wrong near Aberdeen are set to cost an insurance firm £300,000.

The Pagani Zonda S, which would cost more than £500,000 to buy, was involved in a crash last September.

The car has been sent for repair to Modena in Italy, where the vehicles are made.

A spokesperson for insurers Aviva said: "This is the biggest insurance payout we have had for repairs to a private car in the UK."

'Painstakingly constructed'

The spokesperson said: "This is out of the ordinary for an insurer.

"Although the vehicle was badly damaged, Aviva decided that the car may be repairable and set about making arrangements for the car to be shipped across to Modena, Italy, home of Pagani, the vehicle manufacturer.

"There are roughly only 10 Zondas produced per year and they are painstakingly constructed."

The insurance claim was lodged by the test driver, not the owner of the car.

An Irish ghost story

This got sent to me by a good friend, and I will admit that it made me laugh.

Enjoy.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

***************************

This story happened a while ago in Dublin, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.

John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door... Only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on.

The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.

Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had. A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying… And wasn't drunk.

Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other... 'Look Paddy… There's that fooking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!'

Now is the spring of our discontent

It seems like there have been nothing but strikes reported in the news this past week, with the BA cabin crew having a three day strike (another four day strike is due to start on Saturday), British Gas voting for a strike (the dates for this are still to be confirmed) the Rail Signalmen voting for a strike over Easter, and now the civil servants are on strike today.

It does make you wonder if people are getting fed up with the “powers that be” – the only people I have no sympathy with are the BA cabin crew, because their colleagues at Gatwick have been operating the reduced crew levels for the past 12 months, and passengers have noticed no difference in levels of service, not to mention the pay is way over the market rate.

But the strikers aren’t the only ones who are unhappy. My beloved is still unhappy with his current employment – even more so since he had to move office. Previously, his workplace was about a 20min drive from home – now it’s more like 1¼ hrs to and from the office, meaning that he has to leave home at some stupid hour in the morning (think it’s about 06:30) to get to his playpen.

So, until things change for the better in the economy, my beloved is stuck in a job that he hates, in an office that he loathes. I guess I should be thanking my lucky stars that I’ve got a job that I enjoy, with people (most people I should say) that I like.

Back later if I get the chance…


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Movement orders

Great. I’ve got to move desks. Again. I thought it was too good to be bloody true that I was going to get left where I was.

This was the mail that got sent out with the dratted plan:

In order to integrate more thoroughly the core call takers in our group with those that conduct mainly account administration work, we are having a seating reorganisation.

I have attached a diagram showing the new layout.

We believe we have covered all areas where people need to interact but if we have missed anything, or you have a good business reason why an aspect of this is not appropriate, please let us know.

All being well the move will take place on Good Friday 2nd April.

In preparation for the move would you please take the opportunity to have a good clear up of your work station, we can provide black bin bags if you need.

Now normally, I wouldn’t bitch about the move – my only request on the last move was that I wouldn’t be sitting where my right shoulder would be hit by the downdraft from the air conditioning.

Thankfully, it looks like this has been thought about and I won’t have to worry about the draft.

The only slight grump I have, is that I’ll have to sort my desk out – again. But on the positive side, it will allow me to dispose of a load of junk that I’ve managed to accumulate over the nearly 6 years that I’ve worked here (God, where has that time gone???)

Ah well, I guess that I should get on with some work, but I really am suffering from TNFI, which isn’t good as it’s only Tuesday!

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Graze box and other rants

This sounds really tasty, and looking on the website, there are quite a few bits I would be interested in munching on - especially as I got a "get first box free, second box half price code" (1Y4BJ6MN)

Or at least that was the plan until I went to register… There’s a little check box that asks if you’ve got a nut allergy. I do, and so I selected the option…

Only to have the following message displayed:

Sorry, graze is currently not available for people with a nut allergy as our food is packed in an environment where traces of nuts are present.

We will have a nut-free packing environment in the near future, so please check back soon.

Ok – I can accept this, because a nut allergy can be fatal, and the company are just trying to protect themselves against being sued because someone had an allergic reaction. But it does bug the hell out of me when practically ALL packaged foods say “may contain traces of nuts and/or seeds”

Again, I understand the reason why, but it is most frustrating. I mean, you get the “Free From” range – which I think is a good idea, but they only do the easy stuff to avoid – gluten, lactose, sugar and things like that. No-one (as far as I am aware) does a range that is free from nuts. Which is insane, as people like me would quite happily buy it.

Ah well, enough ranting for now – I suppose I’d better think about doing some w*rk, but it’s Friday, and I’ve got TNFI…

Back later (possibly)


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Sussex boy, aged five, crashes parents' car

This comes from the BBC website. I have just one question – why were the parents’ keeping the car keys where the kid could get at them?

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

************************************

A five-year-old Sussex boy took his parents' car for a drive before crashing it into a wall.

Sussex Police said the youngster managed to drive the automatic Mitsubishi Shogun about four miles on roads east of Chichester.

Officers were alerted at 0700 GMT by a man who reported seeing a small boy at the wheel of the vehicle. His father also contacted police minutes later.

The boy was found unharmed in the vehicle in Pook Lane, Lavant.

Other damage

Police subsequently received reports of three other vehicles which were damaged by the Shogun, two of which were parked.

This was a remarkable incident and both the boy and other road-users clearly had a lucky escape


Pc Mark Ryan,
Sussex Police

Witnesses reported seeing the vehicle being driven slowly, but erratically, early on Thursday.

Drivers told police they had seen the car on a short stretch of the A27 between Tangmere and the junction with A285.

Officers believe the car then turned up the A285 to Halnaker before heading to Lavant where it eventually crashed.

A driver who had seen the accident stayed with the boy and waited for the emergency services to arrive.

The youngster was taken to St Richards Hospital for a check-up before being reunited with his family.

Pc Mark Ryan of Sussex Police Road Policing Unit said: "This was a remarkable incident and both the boy and other road-users clearly had a lucky escape, as a serious collision could have happened at any stage".

9 Months Later...

Some times you get a joke that really makes you smile – and this is one of them.

Enjoy.


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

*************************************************

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realise its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said.  "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn, and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.

They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"

"Yes, I do." said Bob

"Did you, err, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes, ' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy, I'm afraid I did.. Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you...? You know you smiled...now keep that smile for the rest of the day!)

Bored on switchboard

Because one of our receptionists has called in sick (the poor kid didn’t look well yesterday) I’ve been sent out here. Don’t get me wrong – I thoroughly enjoy the peace and quiet but I do miss having access to my own e-mails. Plus, it means that I get asked to sort out things out whilst I am out here.

Now this is where the problems start. Simply because when I'm at my desk, I’ve got all the information that I need to hand, and can deal with most problems fairly fast, with minimum fuss. When I'm out here, it’s a different matter. Trying to get people to understand that it’s a dratted nuisance to sort things out here seems to be beyond some peoples’ comprehension.

Why? Because if the switchboard goes, then I have to answer that and deal with any query that arises, no matter how involved that may be, which in turn annoys the person that you were originally trying to help. It’s a no win situation for me.

At the moment though, it’s lovely and quiet – I’ve got the BBC new channel on in the background (which allows me to keep up to date with the news – I'm somewhat of a news junkie!)

Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I’ve got some w*rk to do – worst luck.

Back later…

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Petrol prices set for record high, says AA

This comes straight from the BBC website – just what I don’t need – more damned scaremongering about fuel prices…

And it doesn’t help with things like this being promoted on BBC Breakfast this morning. Me being me thought “oh, I’ll go to the fuel station before I head into the playpen. Not a chance. The queues were stupid, and people were getting quite bad tempered.

I wouldn’t object, but most of the price that I pay for my petrol at the moment (£1.13 a litre) is tax of one form or another – the theory being that this would go towards maintenance of the roads – the way my road theft (sorry road fund) licence money is supposed to.

It was revealed last week, that to repair a pot hole properly, it costs £50. Well, in that case, can someone please repair the 4.2 pot holes that are owed to my family because we fork out enough in dratted taxes for this to be done.

Ah well, on to the post….

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

************************************

Petrol prices could hit a record high of £1.20 a litre in the next few weeks, according to the AA.

Increases in the wholesale price of petrol since January are to blame for the rise in forecourt prices, the motoring organisation said.

It urged the Chancellor, Alistair Darling, to postpone the introduction of a planned 3 pence rise in petrol duty due to come in on 1 April.

The AA said families now pay £52 a month more on petrol than a year ago.

The average petrol price is currently just over £1.15 a litre.

"The UK is barely out of recession, yet petrol prices threaten to rise to record prices seen during the boom of 2008 - shortly before the collapse into recession," said AA president Edmund King.

"If families, drivers on fixed incomes and those on low pay were unable to cope with record prices then, they are even less likely now."

'Complete disgrace'

The price of oil is a major determinant of the price of petrol, and yet the current oil price of about $80 a barrel is far below the $147 a barrel-high seen in the summer of 2008, the last time petrol prices neared £1.20 a litre.

This has led many to question why petrol costs so much right now.

Lindsay Hoyle, Labour MP on the Commons business committee, told the Daily Telegraph: "Crude oil has gone up this year, but nothing like the rise in petrol prices.

Motorists are being legally mugged at the forecourt by petrol companies."

He called the current high price of petrol a "complete disgrace".

Analysts said increased refining costs and the weakening of sterling against the dollar - the currency in which oil is priced - helped to explain some of the increase in petrol prices.

Merry Hill? More like Merry HELL.

I think the title sums this up perfectly. Mum and I decided to go to the Merry Hill shopping centre, to see what was there, as we’d not been for about three years. And on reflection, I can see why it was so long since we’d been. Parking there is hell, and to be honest, the place needs another department store (one other than Debenhams)

We got there at 08:30 (it was the only way that we could get a decent parking space!) As most stores didn’t open until 09:00, we opted for a McBreakfast (it was the only place that was open!)

So, once 9am hit, Mum and I started our shopping… And the pair of us were rather disappointed. Maybe it’s because I’m comparing it with Milton Keynes (which is a similar size – just all on one level as opposed to two levels like Merry Hill) but I was left distinctly un-impressed.

All the stores seemed…. I think the term is “pokey” and badly organised, and as for Debenhams... The less said the better. It smacked of desperation across the entire shopping centre, and has done very little to encourage me to venture back there.

Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I’m supposed to be working… And the department bitch is back in – worst luck.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

37 years of solitary confinement: the Angola three

This comes from the Guardian newspaper - not one that I normally read, but I stumbled across this beacuse it was mentioned on a forum that I subscribe to.


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

******************************

In 1972, three men in a Louisiana prison were placed in solitary confinement after a prison guard was murdered. Two of them are still there – even though many believe they are innocent.

Angola prison, the state penitentiary of Louisiana, is the biggest prison in America. Built on the site of a former slave plantation, the 1,800-acre penal complex is home to more than 5,000 prisoners, the majority of whom will never walk the streets again as free men. Also known as the Farm, Angola took its name from the homeland of the slaves who used to work its fields, and in many ways still resembles a slave plantation today. Eighty per cent of the prisoners are African-Americans and, under the watchful eye of armed guards on horseback, they still work fields of sugar cane, cotton and corn, for up to 16 hours a day. "You've got to keep the inmates working all day so they're tired at night," says Warden Burl Cain, a committed evangelist who believes that the rehabilitation of convicts is only possible through Christian redemption.

Undoubtedly there is less violence and abuse among the prisoners under his wardenship than there was under his predecessors. But Angola is still a long way from being a "positive environment that promotes responsibility, goodness, and humanity", as he proclaims in the prison's mission statement. In fact at the heart of Cain's prison regime is an inhumanity that would make Jesus weep.

For more than 37 years, two prisoners, Herman Wallace and Albert Woodfox, have been locked down in Angola's maximum security Closed Cell Restricted (CCR) block – the longest period of solitary confinement in American prison history.

Having experienced the isolation of "23-hour bang-up" during my own 20 years of imprisonment, for offences of which I was guilty, I can attest to the mental impact that such conditions inflict. My first year was spent on a high-security landing where the cell doors were opened only briefly for meals and emptying of toilet buckets. If decent-minded prison officers were on duty we were allowed to walk the yard for 30 minutes a day. The rest of the time we were alone. The cells were 10ft x 5ft, with a chair, a table and a bed. You could walk up and down, run on the spot, stand still, or do push-ups and sit-ups – but sooner or later you had to just stop, and think.

As the days, weeks and months blur into one, without realising it you start to live completely inside your head. You dream about the past, in vivid detail – and fantasise about the future, for fantasies are all you have. You panic but it's no good "getting on the bell" – unless you're dying – and, even then, don't hope for a speedy response. I had a lot to think about. When the man in the cell above mine hanged himself I thought about that, a lot. I still do. You look at the bars on the high window and think how easy it would be to be free of all the thinking.

Such thoughts must have crossed the minds of Wallace and Woodfox more than once during their isolation. They are fed through the barred gates of their 9ft x 6ft cells and allowed only one hour of exercise every other day alone in a small caged yard. Their capacity for psychological endurance alone is noteworthy.

Wallace and Woodfox were confined to solitary after being convicted of murdering Angola prison guard Brent Miller in 1972. But the circumstances of their trial was so suspect that there are no doubts among their supporters that these men are innocent. Even Brent Miller's widow, Teenie Verret, has her reservations. "If they did not do this," she says, "and I believe that they didn't, they have been living a nightmare."

One man who understands the nightmare that Wallace and Woodfox are living more than anyone else is Robert King. King was also convicted of a murder in Angola in 1973, and was held in solitary alongside Wallace and Woodfox for 29 years, until his conviction was overturned in 2001 and he was freed. Together, King, Wallace and Woodfox have become known as the "Angola three".

The case of the Angola three first came to international attention following the campaigning efforts of the Body Shop founder and humanitarian Anita Roddick. Roddick heard about their plight from a young lawyer named Scott Fleming. Fleming was working as a prisoner advocate in the 1990s when he received a letter from Wallace asking for help. The human tragedy Fleming uncovered had the most profound effect on him. When he qualified as a lawyer, their case became his first. "I was born in 1973," he says. "I often think that for my entire life they have been in solitary."

Through Fleming, Roddick met King and then Woodfox in Angola. Their story, she said later, "made my blood run cold in my veins". Until her death in 2007 Roddick was a committed and passionate supporter of their cause. At her memorial service King played two taped messages from Wallace and Woodfox. In the congregation was film-maker Vadim Jean who had become good friends with Roddick and her husband Gordon during an earlier film project. "Anita's big thing was, 'Just do something,'" says Jean. "No matter how small an act of kindness. Listening to Herman and Albert's voices at her memorial was like having Anita's finger pointing at me and saying, 'Just do something'." And so he decided to make In the Land of the Free, a searing documentary, released later this month.

The story Jean's film tells is one that has resonance on many levels. All three men were from poor black neighbourhoods In New Orleans. They grew up fearing the police, who would regularly "clear the books" of crimes in the area, according to King, by pinning then on disaffected young black men. "If I saw the police, I used to run," King says. He admits to being involved in petty crime in his early years, but "nothing vicious". Eventually King was arrested for an armed robbery he says he did not commit and was sentenced to 35 years, which he began in New Orleans parish prison – and there he met Albert Woodfox.

Woodfox had also been sentenced for armed robbery – and given 50 years. On the day he was sentenced he escaped from the courthouse. He made his way to Harlem in New York, where he encountered the Black Panthers, the revolutionary African-American political movement. He witnessed the Panthers engaging with the community in a positive, constructive way, educating and informing people of their rights. He says it was the first time in his life that he had seen African-Americans exhibiting real pride, pride that emanated from the young activists, he says, "like a shimmering heatwave".

Two days later Woodfox was caught and taken to New York's Tombs prison where he saw first-hand the militant tactics of imprisoned Panthers who resisted their guards with organised protests. In Tombs, Woodfox was labelled "militant" and sent back to New Orleans where he joined King on the parish prison block, known – due to the high concentration of Panther activists – as "the Panther tier". There Woodfox became a member of the Black Panther party.

Outside, confrontations between the Panthers – described by FBI director J Edgar Hoover as "the greatest threat to the internal security of the country" – and the police were escalating. In an attempt to undermine the influence of the Panthers in New Orleans parish prison, officials tried to shoehorn men they termed "Black Gangsters" on to the tier – men like Wallace, also serving decades for armed robbery. One day Wallace was suffering from the pain of ill-fitting shoes. One of the Panthers, on his way to a court appearance, took his shoes off and handed them to Wallace. "Right then I knew that that was what I needed to be a part of," he says. In the summer of 1971 Wallace and Woodfox were shipped to Angola.

The civil rights bill had been signed in 1964, but seven years later Angola was still operating a segregated regime. Prisoner guards carried guns and were also responsible, according to well-documented sources, for organising systematic sexual abuse of vulnerable prisoners, which flourished in the prison's mostly dormitory accommodation. And violence between prisoners had reached such levels that Angola was known as "the bloodiest prison in America".

Woodfox and Wallace quickly extended the New Orleans chapter of the Black Panthers into Angola, establishing classes in political ideology and exposing injustices. They organised work stoppages, demonstrating to fellow prisoners the liberating power of acting with a "unity of purpose" and worked to eradicate the prevalent sexual abuses. But their political activities made them targets for the administrators. By the spring of 1972, tensions in the prison were dangerously high.

These were the conditions in which Brent Miller met his untimely death. That April, a prisoner work strike drew the attention of the guards who were called from normal duties to deal with the disturbance. Miller, a strong, athletic young man of 23, stayed behind alone. He entered a dormitory holding 90 prisoners and sat on an elderly prisoner's bed, drinking coffee and chatting. Moments later he was attacked and stabbed 32 times.

Two days later, four men identified as "black militants", including Wallace and Woodfox, were accused of the murder. It was quickly ascertained that one of the four had been inserted into the case by the prison administration. Charges against him were dropped. Another, Chester Jackson, admitted to holding Miller while the guard was stabbed to death. Jackson turned state's evidence in return for a plea to manslaughter. The case was tried in a town called St Francisville, the closest courthouse to Angola. The jury had been picked from the local populace, many of whom earned their living from the prison or had families and friends that worked there; all were white. Wallace and Woodfox were found guilty of Miller's murder, sentenced to life imprisonment without parole and taken from the court straight to Angola's CCR block to begin their life in isolation.

Robert King was brought to Angola from the parish prison two weeks after Miller's killing, as part of a roundup of black radicals. King had never met Miller and was in a prison 150 miles away when the murder took place. Yet he was investigated for the crime and identified as a "conspirator" before being transferred to lockdown on CCR alongside Wallace and Woodcock.

The following year a prisoner named August Kelly was murdered on King's CCR tier. A man named Grady Brewer admitted that he alone was responsible for the killing, which he said he carried out in self-defence. But King was also charged. The two men faced trial together in the same St Francisville courthouse where Wallace and Woodfox had been convicted the year before. The sole evidence against King came from flawed prisoner testimony. He and Brewer had not been allowed to speak to their attorneys for any length of time before their trial. When they protested, the judge ordered their hands to be shackled behind their backs and their mouths gagged with duct tape for the duration of their trial. The men were convicted and sentenced to life without parole. King later won an appeal; the federal court ruled that he had not been sufficiently unruly in the dock to warrant the shackling and gagging. He went back to trial in 1975, was re-convicted and immediately sent back to CCR.

When, after Scott Fleming's intervention in the case of Wallace and Woodfox in the 1990s, new lawyers reviewed the original trial of both men, discovering "obfuscation after obfuscation". The state had used a number of jailhouse informants against them, many of whom gave contradictory accounts of what they saw. One was registered blind. The key witness in the case was a man called Hezikiah Brown who testified he witnessed the murder. In his initial statement to investigators however, Brown said he had not seen anything. Three days later, when he was taken from his bunk at midnight by prison officials and promised his freedom if he testified, he agreed to say that he saw Wallace and Woodfox kill Miller. At the time Brown was serving life without parole for multiple rapes. Immediately after he agreed to testify he was given his own minimum security private house in the prison grounds and a weekly cigarette ration.

Wallace and Woodfox did not give up. They fought their convictions from their cells and in 1993 Woodfox was granted an appeal, forcing a new trial. The case was sent back to the same courthouse to be tried in front of a new grand jury. A local author, Anne Butler, who had published a book in which she detailed the case and was convinced that the right people had been convicted, acted as jury chairperson. No witnesses were called. Instead Butler was called upon to explain the case. Once again, the jury was composed of people who worked in Angola or were related to people who worked there. Butler's husband and co-author was Murray Henderson, who had been the warden of Angola when Brent Miller was murdered. It is worth noting that Henderson was a key member of the original investigation team and that, during that investigation, a bloody fingerprint was found close to Brent Miller's body. It was determined that it did not belong to Woodfox nor to Wallace, but despite the prison holding all the fingerprints of all the prisoners, no attempt was made to find out whose it was. The bloody print was also ignored at Woodfox's retrial. He was reconvicted and sent back to isolation in Angola's CCR.

It was 26 years before King won the right to another appeal. In 2001 the Federal court found that the jury in King's original trial had systematically excluded African-Americans and women and agreed that the case should be reheard. This time around the prisoner witnesses recanted and the federal court sent the case back to the district court for review. The state negotiated a deal with King. Reluctantly, and with his left hand raised instead of his right, he pleaded guilty to conspiracy; an hour and a half later he was freed.

In September 2008, Woodfox's conviction was overturned; the federal court ruled that his core constitutional rights had been violated at his original trial. Louisiana attorney general Buddy Caldwell could have set Woodfox free immediately. Instead he decided to contest the federal decision and Woodfox, now 64, was returned to Angola's CCR, where he remains. Herman Wallace, now 68, was moved to another Louisiana prison last year, where he too continues to be held in solitary confinement.

Today King, now 67, is still campaigning for justice for his friends. Albert Woodfox: "Our primary objective is that front gate. That is what we are struggling for and we are actually fighting for our freedom. We are fighting for people to understand that we were framed for a murder that we are totally, completely and actually innocent of." Robert King says he is free of Angola, but until his friends are free, "Angola will never be free of me."

Jean hopes his film will make a difference. "These men need help," he says. "Louisiana needs to be shamed into doing the right thing."

Further information: . If you wish to help highlight the plight of the Angola 3, you can write to the Governor of Louisiana at the Office of the Governor, PO Box 94004, Baton Rouge, LA 70804, US.

In The Land Of The Free is released on 26 March