Fighting a battle, but I can't see the enemy...

It sounds crazy, but this is how I feel at the moment. My beloved is going through another patch of depression, and it breaks my heart to see him so low. He's not the sort of person that you would associate with such a condition, because he is a master of hiding behind a poker face.

But, last night, he was walking a very fine line, and I wish he had been able to break the dam and release all the pent up emotions he has inside. We spoke about what was causing him to feel so low, and he said that he wished he could find a way to go back to being happy, instead of riding this roller-coaster of emotion all the time.

Free is all we gotta be
Dream dreams no one else can see
But ya never know what might be comin' for you and me
Ya it's gonna be

What upset him more than anything, was the fact that people he considers "friends" seem determined to take lumps out of him, and lay the blame for their troubles at his door, regardless of whether he was / is at fault or not, and they don't seem to realise the damage that they are doing to him.

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

He's really fed up with the attitude of the people he works with, and not for the first time, he has said that he wants out of his job with the company he's working for. I can sympathise with that feeling, as I've been there myself, but it took me being signed off sick to make me realise the damage that my so-called manager was doing to me.

He didn't last long after I resigned - all of about 10 days as he was suspended for bullying. Unfortunately, he resigned before he was fired - I would have fired the fat b'stard into a reinforced concrete wall from a high velocity cannon. At point blank range. Not that I'm vindictive towards him. Much.

Somewhere - there's a place for you
I know that you believe it too
Sometimes if you wanna get away
All ya gotta know is what we got is here to stay
All the way

But, my beloved has said that he has no intention of telling the people he works with what is causing part of his depression, as he says (quite rightly) that it is nothing to do with them and doesn't want his private life to be the subject of discussion and speculation.


And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

So, for the time being, all I can do is act as a shoulder for him to lean on, and give him all the love and support that he needs to get through this latest struggle.

If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting
Time after time


Guess I should call this quits - I've got bits and pieces to sort out before I make a break for freedom in 8 days time...

Back when I get chance.

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time