I know that I've not updated my blog for a couple of days, but I've been busy with various bits and pieces - including taking the furry psychopath (Ponto) and the hippy (Fred) to the vet for their booster jabs.
Normally, the vet puts little booties and a muzzle of sorts on Ponto, as he's totally anti-vet. But, this time, it wasn't the usual vet we (the cats and I) saw. It was a locum. Fred was his normal dopy self, and purred the whole time - even when he had the jabs!
Ponto was in a different league altogether. He came out the cat basket like a furry atom bomb - with teeth and claws. I managed to grab hold of him, and asked the vet if he was going to put the booties and muzzle on him.
"I don't need such protection" came the lofty reply. As soon as he said that, my thoughts were along the lines of 'ok - on your head be it - I know what Ponto's like!' So, as far as I was concerned, it was touch the cat and stand well back to avoid the claws and fangs.
Ponto got his jabs. Eventually. But only after the vetinary nurse grabbed hold of him, wrapped him in a towel and left one little bit to get the jabs. The cat's yowls were awful - I could almost hear the expletives in the yowls - I think they were along the lines of "lemme outta here you b'stard - I'll teach you to stick ****ing needles in me!"
I will admit to being glad to go to work this morning. Ponto did nothing but give me the evil eye all evening, and even refused to sleep on the bed. Not that I objected - he snores worse than my other half!
Time to call it quits - I'm supposed to give my other half a call to let him know what time I'm going to be able to make it over to his place tomorrow night...
Back tomorrow - workload / cats etc. permitting!
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Sometimes I wonder....
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Karen
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What is it about some people? They buy a powerful car (something like a BMW 5 series) and then appear to be terrified of the car. I sometimes wonder if they've just bought the damned thing, because it's a prestige mark, and will look good parked on the drive / at the golf club / private gym car park.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not jealous (apart from the one occasion when I saw my dream car - an Aston Martin DB9 - being driven by some guy who couldn't have been a day over 90!), but it just infuriates me to see such cars being pootled about by people who seem to cling onto the steering wheel, almost as if that will somehow stop them going too fast.
What makes me rant like this today? Simple. A trip into Stratford-Upon-Avon, via the A46 - which is for all intents and purposes a motorway without the hard shoulder. I had the misfortune to get stuck behind someone in a 5 Series BMW, that refused to do above 50mph, and wouldn't move into the left hand lane either, despite the fact that there was nothing in the lane!
I eventually got past (a sneaky overtake on the Longbridge Island) and got a very dirty look from the passenger when I out accelerated the BMW, and sped off at high speed. Well, I was being reckless - I was doing 70mph - which is the speed limit on the road in question!
And before I get comments e-mailed to me that I would be scared to drive those cars, let me get one thing straight right now. I've driven everything from 1.2 litre Fiat Puntos (my first car was a '94 Fiat Punto SX - called Fiendish - simply because it was fiendishly expensive to sort out when it went wrong!) through to the one car that I will admit to being in awe of - the TVR Tuscan 3.8 l V8.... (See http://www.pistonheads.com/tvr/tuscanracer/brochure.htm for tech spec)
Ok - I know that my current car isn't exactly supercar material (I would have liked to get the Peugeot GTi 180, but my insurance company would love me, and my bank manager hate me!) but I'm planning on getting some tuning work on it... Along the lines of having the engine bored out to the exact spec that was laid down when the engine was designed, and a few other bits.
I did the same thing with my Toyota, and that turned it from a normal Yaris, into a tyre chewing, rain hating monster. Despite that, it was remarkably civilized around town (ok - it hated traffic jams), and was quite happy belting around a track - once I'd put the track day wheels on it.
Well, I'll be damned if I was going to ruin a set of road tyres, and as the tyres were about £50 + tyre - and that didn't include the hassle I had getting the damned things, it made sense for me to make the investment.
But, there was one drawback to using different tyres for the track days - I couldn't get the particular brand of tyre I wanted here in the UK, as there wasn't the requirement to bring the track tyre into the UK.
Thanks. That's a fat lot of good to me, but I was lucky enough to find a company who were able to help me get the tyres, and them fit them to the rims that I'd already invested in (OZ rims - expensive, but well worth the investment - the car went like I'd stuffed a small rocket up the exhaust pipe!)
However, when I sold the Toyota, I kept the wheels (I'm not as dumb as I sound!), and as soon as I get fit (or more to the point, I can use my right arm a bit more) I'm booking myself on a track day, and I'll see exactly what the Pug is made of...
So, if you're in the UK, and at a track day in the next few months, keep an eye open for a small Blue Pug with an attitude problem - you never know, it may be me!
Time to call it quits - I've got to go and wash the lights on the car - they're covered in road film because of all the salt / general crap that coats the roads these days.
Back tomorrow, if I get the peace and quiet.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not jealous (apart from the one occasion when I saw my dream car - an Aston Martin DB9 - being driven by some guy who couldn't have been a day over 90!), but it just infuriates me to see such cars being pootled about by people who seem to cling onto the steering wheel, almost as if that will somehow stop them going too fast.
What makes me rant like this today? Simple. A trip into Stratford-Upon-Avon, via the A46 - which is for all intents and purposes a motorway without the hard shoulder. I had the misfortune to get stuck behind someone in a 5 Series BMW, that refused to do above 50mph, and wouldn't move into the left hand lane either, despite the fact that there was nothing in the lane!
I eventually got past (a sneaky overtake on the Longbridge Island) and got a very dirty look from the passenger when I out accelerated the BMW, and sped off at high speed. Well, I was being reckless - I was doing 70mph - which is the speed limit on the road in question!
And before I get comments e-mailed to me that I would be scared to drive those cars, let me get one thing straight right now. I've driven everything from 1.2 litre Fiat Puntos (my first car was a '94 Fiat Punto SX - called Fiendish - simply because it was fiendishly expensive to sort out when it went wrong!) through to the one car that I will admit to being in awe of - the TVR Tuscan 3.8 l V8.... (See http://www.pistonheads.com/tvr/tuscanracer/brochure.htm for tech spec)
Ok - I know that my current car isn't exactly supercar material (I would have liked to get the Peugeot GTi 180, but my insurance company would love me, and my bank manager hate me!) but I'm planning on getting some tuning work on it... Along the lines of having the engine bored out to the exact spec that was laid down when the engine was designed, and a few other bits.
I did the same thing with my Toyota, and that turned it from a normal Yaris, into a tyre chewing, rain hating monster. Despite that, it was remarkably civilized around town (ok - it hated traffic jams), and was quite happy belting around a track - once I'd put the track day wheels on it.
Well, I'll be damned if I was going to ruin a set of road tyres, and as the tyres were about £50 + tyre - and that didn't include the hassle I had getting the damned things, it made sense for me to make the investment.
But, there was one drawback to using different tyres for the track days - I couldn't get the particular brand of tyre I wanted here in the UK, as there wasn't the requirement to bring the track tyre into the UK.
Thanks. That's a fat lot of good to me, but I was lucky enough to find a company who were able to help me get the tyres, and them fit them to the rims that I'd already invested in (OZ rims - expensive, but well worth the investment - the car went like I'd stuffed a small rocket up the exhaust pipe!)
However, when I sold the Toyota, I kept the wheels (I'm not as dumb as I sound!), and as soon as I get fit (or more to the point, I can use my right arm a bit more) I'm booking myself on a track day, and I'll see exactly what the Pug is made of...
So, if you're in the UK, and at a track day in the next few months, keep an eye open for a small Blue Pug with an attitude problem - you never know, it may be me!
Time to call it quits - I've got to go and wash the lights on the car - they're covered in road film because of all the salt / general crap that coats the roads these days.
Back tomorrow, if I get the peace and quiet.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Catching up with the gossip - in the name of charity...
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Karen
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Just one of the things that I like about getting together with friends and work mates. And this time, it wasn't just an excuse to get pissed - it was to support the company's nominated charity - The Warwickshire & Northamptonshire Air Ambulance (please go to this link - http://www.wnaa.co.uk/ - it'll tell you all about the charity!)
It was a disco / raffle / auction / karaoke, held in Leamington. And yes - I did sing, OK - rephrase that - tried to sing. I did a duet with one of the senior managers, after I'd jokingly said to him that I would sing at the karaoke, if he'd sing with me.
Ok - not normally a problem, as I've said, I'm game for making an idiot of myself - especially in the name of charity. This time, however, I hadn't banked on going down with a stinking cold, and having very little voice left to sing, as I'd been at work, and my job involves an awful lot of talking.
My partner wasn't at the do, but he'd heard from people who were there, that Roger drowned me out. He did - simply because his voice was stronger than mine, and he also knew the song - it was Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers. If I'd had my way, we'd have done something like When you're Gone - by Bryan Adams & Mel C. But, beggars can't be choosers, and I will admit, I did enjoy myself...
The thing that I really enjoyed, was the chance to catch up with a certain person I'd not seen since January. Yep - you guessed it - my 'escort' from the post conference piss up. We sat talking about various bits and pieces - despite the fact that he was serously miffed that I'd not called him to let him know I was in Edinburgh last weekend!
When I pointed out that I'd been there for the rugby, he said he wasn't bothered about Rugby, as he couldn't stand the game, but would have joined up with me for a night out on the town! I also managed to find out a bit more information (for my own peace of mind) about the morning after the conference....
As I've said in a previous post, my line manager was rather subdued, and I always put this down to the size of his hangover.... Well, it turns out that the hangover was only part of the problem. The rest was due to a comment that was passed over breakfast at the hotel where they were all staying.....
"You've got good staff", was the comment that was passed by my escort, when he was asked if he'd had a good time the night before and apparently, my line manager looked stunned for a moment, and then started talking business!
My guess is he must have thought along the lines of 2 + 2 = 22. God knows what he thought I'd done - as I've said, this fella is married, and I was there with my partner! Still, it explains an awful lot.
Needless to say, I'm not stupid enough to say anything on Monday, as there are some ghosts that I wish to lay to rest / leave where they lie. If anything, talking to a couple of other people, it's taught me that people will see things as more involved than they really are - and draw their own conclusions - no matter what you may or may not say.
And this time, I left with another couple, and the fact that I was seen walking to my car can be vouched for. That and the fact that I drove over to my partner's home (where I'm updating my blog!) so hopefully, there won't be too many stupid comments...
Supposed I ought to log off and bog off - got to wrap Mum's Mother's Day present up...
Back later - possibly.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
It was a disco / raffle / auction / karaoke, held in Leamington. And yes - I did sing, OK - rephrase that - tried to sing. I did a duet with one of the senior managers, after I'd jokingly said to him that I would sing at the karaoke, if he'd sing with me.
Ok - not normally a problem, as I've said, I'm game for making an idiot of myself - especially in the name of charity. This time, however, I hadn't banked on going down with a stinking cold, and having very little voice left to sing, as I'd been at work, and my job involves an awful lot of talking.
My partner wasn't at the do, but he'd heard from people who were there, that Roger drowned me out. He did - simply because his voice was stronger than mine, and he also knew the song - it was Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers. If I'd had my way, we'd have done something like When you're Gone - by Bryan Adams & Mel C. But, beggars can't be choosers, and I will admit, I did enjoy myself...
The thing that I really enjoyed, was the chance to catch up with a certain person I'd not seen since January. Yep - you guessed it - my 'escort' from the post conference piss up. We sat talking about various bits and pieces - despite the fact that he was serously miffed that I'd not called him to let him know I was in Edinburgh last weekend!
When I pointed out that I'd been there for the rugby, he said he wasn't bothered about Rugby, as he couldn't stand the game, but would have joined up with me for a night out on the town! I also managed to find out a bit more information (for my own peace of mind) about the morning after the conference....
As I've said in a previous post, my line manager was rather subdued, and I always put this down to the size of his hangover.... Well, it turns out that the hangover was only part of the problem. The rest was due to a comment that was passed over breakfast at the hotel where they were all staying.....
"You've got good staff", was the comment that was passed by my escort, when he was asked if he'd had a good time the night before and apparently, my line manager looked stunned for a moment, and then started talking business!
My guess is he must have thought along the lines of 2 + 2 = 22. God knows what he thought I'd done - as I've said, this fella is married, and I was there with my partner! Still, it explains an awful lot.
Needless to say, I'm not stupid enough to say anything on Monday, as there are some ghosts that I wish to lay to rest / leave where they lie. If anything, talking to a couple of other people, it's taught me that people will see things as more involved than they really are - and draw their own conclusions - no matter what you may or may not say.
And this time, I left with another couple, and the fact that I was seen walking to my car can be vouched for. That and the fact that I drove over to my partner's home (where I'm updating my blog!) so hopefully, there won't be too many stupid comments...
Supposed I ought to log off and bog off - got to wrap Mum's Mother's Day present up...
Back later - possibly.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
A time for fun and reflection
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Karen
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I guess that the title of my latest blog entry is a bit unusual, as fun and reflection don't often go together... However, this is one of the occasions when they did.
The fun was the fact that I was able to spend the day taking the mickey out of various people - including my line manager, who really copped a beauty off me this afternoon....
I was complaining that the physiotherapist was a sadistic bitch (ok - she's not that bad - just a little bit too forceful - I'm a delicate little thing where my shoulder's concerned), and I was told that I enjoyed it really....
"Ok - you can go in my place, and I'll go to the meeting."
"No thanks Karen - I wouldn't want to deprive you of your fun. What's her name?"
"Not sure - only met her once. Why?"
"She sounds like Miss Whiplash."
"Oh yes? Have you met her before?"
"Once or twice."
"I wasn't asking about your private life."
I've never seen anyone go so red. It was quite funny, and for once, my line manager was lost for words. But, I guess that could have been to do with the fact that we work in an open plan office, and most people would have heard the pair of us talking, and my final comment!
The time for reflection came when I got home, and checked the post box. There was a hand written note from my Aunt Pauline. It turned out that she and my Uncle Martin had taken the chance to come over and see Mum and myself - but the pair of us were at work!
To be honest, I'm not really bothered, as I like my uncle, but my aunt is not someone that I have much time for. But, I guess that there'll be plenty of time to avoid them in the future...
But the best bit, for me is the mere fact that I can update my blog whilst listening to a rather unusual choice of music..... Kevin Bloody Wilson. I will admit, some of the songs are rather.... Fruity in language, but my favorite is a send up of Frosty the Snowman - Frosty the Yobbo.
Time to call this entry quits - I can hear Mum's car pulling up on the drive...
Back tomorrow.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
The fun was the fact that I was able to spend the day taking the mickey out of various people - including my line manager, who really copped a beauty off me this afternoon....
I was complaining that the physiotherapist was a sadistic bitch (ok - she's not that bad - just a little bit too forceful - I'm a delicate little thing where my shoulder's concerned), and I was told that I enjoyed it really....
"Ok - you can go in my place, and I'll go to the meeting."
"No thanks Karen - I wouldn't want to deprive you of your fun. What's her name?"
"Not sure - only met her once. Why?"
"She sounds like Miss Whiplash."
"Oh yes? Have you met her before?"
"Once or twice."
"I wasn't asking about your private life."
I've never seen anyone go so red. It was quite funny, and for once, my line manager was lost for words. But, I guess that could have been to do with the fact that we work in an open plan office, and most people would have heard the pair of us talking, and my final comment!
The time for reflection came when I got home, and checked the post box. There was a hand written note from my Aunt Pauline. It turned out that she and my Uncle Martin had taken the chance to come over and see Mum and myself - but the pair of us were at work!
To be honest, I'm not really bothered, as I like my uncle, but my aunt is not someone that I have much time for. But, I guess that there'll be plenty of time to avoid them in the future...
But the best bit, for me is the mere fact that I can update my blog whilst listening to a rather unusual choice of music..... Kevin Bloody Wilson. I will admit, some of the songs are rather.... Fruity in language, but my favorite is a send up of Frosty the Snowman - Frosty the Yobbo.
Time to call this entry quits - I can hear Mum's car pulling up on the drive...
Back tomorrow.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
Breaking the habit...
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Karen
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I'm worried. No - it's nothing to do with my ex (he hasn't tried to contact me today, so hopefully he's getting the hint!) but it's to do with my shoulder.
As I've said in previous posts, I've managed to damage my right shoulder again, and am currently undergoing treatment with a physiotherapist. Don't get me wrong, she's very good, but has told me that if I can't rectify the problem with my shoulder blade, then I'll have to see an orthopedic surgeon.
The trouble is, when I damaged the shoulder back in April 2004, it looks like the injury caused the shoulder blade to stick out away from the chest wall, putting strain on the rest of the joint, and causing me no-end of trouble.
And why am I breaking the habit? Simple. I've finally realised that my ex-fiance is a male bunny boiler (if you can have such a thing) and have decided to change my e-mail and mobile phone numbers. I've texted people who's' e-mail addresses I lacked and gave a brief summary of my reasons, and gave them the new details.
To be honest, the Linkin Park track, Breakin' the Habit, sums up just how I'm feeling at this moment in time...
Memories consume like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume, I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight...
Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more, than any time before
I have no options left again
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight...
Suppose I'd better log off for tonight - I promised I'd go and see my other half tonight, and it's time I got moving!
Back tomorrow - if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
As I've said in previous posts, I've managed to damage my right shoulder again, and am currently undergoing treatment with a physiotherapist. Don't get me wrong, she's very good, but has told me that if I can't rectify the problem with my shoulder blade, then I'll have to see an orthopedic surgeon.
The trouble is, when I damaged the shoulder back in April 2004, it looks like the injury caused the shoulder blade to stick out away from the chest wall, putting strain on the rest of the joint, and causing me no-end of trouble.
And why am I breaking the habit? Simple. I've finally realised that my ex-fiance is a male bunny boiler (if you can have such a thing) and have decided to change my e-mail and mobile phone numbers. I've texted people who's' e-mail addresses I lacked and gave a brief summary of my reasons, and gave them the new details.
To be honest, the Linkin Park track, Breakin' the Habit, sums up just how I'm feeling at this moment in time...
Memories consume like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume, I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight...
Clutching my cure, I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more, than any time before
I have no options left again
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight...
Suppose I'd better log off for tonight - I promised I'd go and see my other half tonight, and it's time I got moving!
Back tomorrow - if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Trying to break with the past - but the past won't let me escape
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Karen
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The break away in Edinburgh was just what the doctor ordered - even if I did have a major hangover! But that was self inflicted - I went drinking with some Italian rugby fans after the match. They were drowning their sorrows - I was celebrating, and my other half was just enjoying himself - not to mention trying to block out the freezing cold wind!
The problems arose when we got back to our respective homes. I'd left my 'phone turned off over the weekend, as the people I cared about knew that I was going to be away, and was unlikely to even think about turning my 'phone on, let alone check to see if there were any messages.
When I did turn my 'phone on, I discovered that there were about half a dozen messages - all from my ex-fiance. He sounded desperate, irritated and indifferent, depending on the order that I'd listened to the messages. I will admit, all it did was upset me, as all I want is to be left alone.
But, that wasn't the only trick up his sleeve... He called me last night, and said that he needed to see me, as his father had been diagnosed with cancer, and hadn't got long to live. OK - call me a nasty sceptical cow, but after I'd spoken to him, I called his sister to see what the real truth was.
Yep - you guessed it. He was just stringing me along, as he doesn't know that I'm still in contact with the rest of his family, as I always had time for them. I did the decent thing, and told my other half, who went loopy, and was all in favour of going down south, and beating the living crap out of him.
To be honest, I felt like doing that, but if I did go down south and confront him, it would give him the idea that I care about him, when all I want is for him to leave me the hell alone. And to be honest, it's getting to the stage where I'm worried about answering my 'phone.
I know that there will be people reading this, and who will be sitting there, muttering "Silly cow. Why don't you change your mobile number and e-mail address so that he can't contact you?"
If it was that easy, I would do so, but I fail to see the reason why I should have all the hassle of changing my contact details, just because some moron can't get it through his thick skull that I want nothing more to do with him.
Ah well, time to log of and bog off - I've got stuff to do before I get to bed tonight....
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
The problems arose when we got back to our respective homes. I'd left my 'phone turned off over the weekend, as the people I cared about knew that I was going to be away, and was unlikely to even think about turning my 'phone on, let alone check to see if there were any messages.
When I did turn my 'phone on, I discovered that there were about half a dozen messages - all from my ex-fiance. He sounded desperate, irritated and indifferent, depending on the order that I'd listened to the messages. I will admit, all it did was upset me, as all I want is to be left alone.
But, that wasn't the only trick up his sleeve... He called me last night, and said that he needed to see me, as his father had been diagnosed with cancer, and hadn't got long to live. OK - call me a nasty sceptical cow, but after I'd spoken to him, I called his sister to see what the real truth was.
Yep - you guessed it. He was just stringing me along, as he doesn't know that I'm still in contact with the rest of his family, as I always had time for them. I did the decent thing, and told my other half, who went loopy, and was all in favour of going down south, and beating the living crap out of him.
To be honest, I felt like doing that, but if I did go down south and confront him, it would give him the idea that I care about him, when all I want is for him to leave me the hell alone. And to be honest, it's getting to the stage where I'm worried about answering my 'phone.
I know that there will be people reading this, and who will be sitting there, muttering "Silly cow. Why don't you change your mobile number and e-mail address so that he can't contact you?"
If it was that easy, I would do so, but I fail to see the reason why I should have all the hassle of changing my contact details, just because some moron can't get it through his thick skull that I want nothing more to do with him.
Ah well, time to log of and bog off - I've got stuff to do before I get to bed tonight....
Back when I get chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Weekends were made for escaping....
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Karen
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I guess that the title of this entry says it all. I've escaped from Warwickshire, and am currently updating my blog whilst seated in my Great-Uncle's study in Wilkeston - on the outskirts of Edinburgh.
What am I doing here? Simple. It has to do with the small matter of a rugby international between those two "super powers" of world rugby - Scotland and Italy, in the Six Nations tournament at Murrayfield.
For more years than I care to admit to (ok - about 10!) my uncle has bought me tickets to a rugby international of my choice as a birthday / Christmas present. So, I took him up on his offer and took this particular game.
Ok - maybe it's not the game that most purists would have chosen, but I wanted to see my uncle on his home turf, and sit and shoot the breeze with him, as I'd not seen him since last year - at Dad's funeral.
But I'm not here on my own. I've brought my other half with me, as he's a rugby fanatic, but has never managed to make it to an international for one reason or another, and has for as long as I've known him, been on about getting tickets.
So, without his knowledge, I made the necessary arrangements, having made sure that he wasn't working this weekend by asking his manager, and explaining my motives. (I'll give the guy his due, he's a damned good actor, as he looked really surprised when my other half told him what I'd done!) And then all I had to do was choose the right moment to tell my other half...
I gave him the news of this particular trip on Thursday night, The look of surprise was something I'll treasure, and he looked at me as if he wasn't quite sure about me, as he knows that I'm quite capable of winding him up like clockwork.
I managed to dispel his fears by producing the flight confirmation for the flight to Edinburgh from Birmingham on the Friday night flight, and the return flight on Sunday night.
Ah well, suppose I'd better log off and bog off - there are things I want to do before I go to the rugby....
Back tomorrow - hangover permitting!
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
What am I doing here? Simple. It has to do with the small matter of a rugby international between those two "super powers" of world rugby - Scotland and Italy, in the Six Nations tournament at Murrayfield.
For more years than I care to admit to (ok - about 10!) my uncle has bought me tickets to a rugby international of my choice as a birthday / Christmas present. So, I took him up on his offer and took this particular game.
Ok - maybe it's not the game that most purists would have chosen, but I wanted to see my uncle on his home turf, and sit and shoot the breeze with him, as I'd not seen him since last year - at Dad's funeral.
But I'm not here on my own. I've brought my other half with me, as he's a rugby fanatic, but has never managed to make it to an international for one reason or another, and has for as long as I've known him, been on about getting tickets.
So, without his knowledge, I made the necessary arrangements, having made sure that he wasn't working this weekend by asking his manager, and explaining my motives. (I'll give the guy his due, he's a damned good actor, as he looked really surprised when my other half told him what I'd done!) And then all I had to do was choose the right moment to tell my other half...
I gave him the news of this particular trip on Thursday night, The look of surprise was something I'll treasure, and he looked at me as if he wasn't quite sure about me, as he knows that I'm quite capable of winding him up like clockwork.
I managed to dispel his fears by producing the flight confirmation for the flight to Edinburgh from Birmingham on the Friday night flight, and the return flight on Sunday night.
Ah well, suppose I'd better log off and bog off - there are things I want to do before I go to the rugby....
Back tomorrow - hangover permitting!
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Howling with laughter...
Posted by
Karen
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I couldn't resist posting this joke - it came in from a Texas native, and believe me, his chili dishes are lethal - a case of one fart and you cauterize your haemaroides!
If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. Most people will be crying by the end.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio city park. The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
Frank: Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event: (Frank is Judge #3)
Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) Holy Moly what the hell is in this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy!
Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili....
Judge # 1 ? Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. These hicks are out of their minds.
Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans
Judge # 2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting frog-faced from all of the beer...
Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic?
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish orother mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb woman is starting to look HOT... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 --Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices & peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I messed myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.
Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili..
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.**
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and Iwouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella. Wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
The moral of the story?
Life is not like a box of chocolates. Life is like a jar of jalapeños.
What you do today may burn your ass tomorrow!
Back when I get peace and quiet from the moggies....
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. Most people will be crying by the end.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio city park. The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
Frank: Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event: (Frank is Judge #3)
Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) Holy Moly what the hell is in this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy!
Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili....
Judge # 1 ? Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. These hicks are out of their minds.
Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans
Judge # 2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting frog-faced from all of the beer...
Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic?
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish orother mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb woman is starting to look HOT... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 --Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices & peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I messed myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.
Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili..
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.**
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and Iwouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella. Wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
The moral of the story?
Life is not like a box of chocolates. Life is like a jar of jalapeños.
What you do today may burn your ass tomorrow!
Back when I get peace and quiet from the moggies....
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Shoe bomber Update...
Posted by
Karen
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This is a copy of the e-mail that I received yesterday - the only editing I've done is to remove the sender's identity.
Karen.
Remember the guy who got on a plane with a bomb built into his shoe and tried to light it? Did you know his trial is over? Did you know he was sentenced? Did you see/hear any of the judge's comments on TV/Radio? Didn't think so. Everyone should hear what the judge had to say.
Ruling by Judge William Young US District Court
Prior to sentencing, the Judge asked the defendant if he had anything to say.
His response: After admitting his guilt to the court for the record, Reid also admitted his "allegiance to Osama bin Laden, to Islam, and to the religion of Allah," defiantly stated "I think I ought not apologize for my actions," and told the court "I am at war with your country."
Judge Young then delivered the statement quoted below, a stinging condemnation of Reid in particular and terrorists in general:
January 30, 2003, United States vs. Reid. Judge Young: Mr. Richard C. Reid, hearken now to the sentence the Court imposes upon you. On counts 1, 5 and 6 the Court sentences you to life in prison in the custody of the United States Attorney General. On counts 2, 3, 4 and 7, the Court sentences you to 20 years in prison on each count, the sentence on each count to run consecutive with the other.
That's 80 years. On count 8 the Court sentences you to the mandatory 30 years consecutive to the 80 years just imposed. The Court imposes upon you each of the eight counts a fine of $250,000 for the aggregate fine of $2 million. The Court accepts the government's recommendation with respect to restitution and orders restitution in the amount of $298.17 to Andre Bousquet and $5,784 to American Airlines. The Court imposes upon you the $800 special assessment.
The Court imposes upon you five years supervised release simply because the law requires it. But the life sentences are real life sentences so I need go no further. This is the sentence that is provided for by our statutes. It is a fair and just sentence. It is a righteous sentence.
Let me explain this to you. We are not afraid of you or any of your terrorist co-conspirators, Mr. Reid. We are Americans. We have been through the fire before. There is all too much war talk here and I say that to everyone with the utmost respect. Here in this court, where we deal with individuals as individuals and care for individuals as individuals. As human beings, we reach out for justice.
You are not an enemy combatant. You are a terrorist. You are not a soldier in any war. You are a terrorist. To give you that reference, to call you a soldier, gives you far too much stature. Whether it is the officers of government who do it or your attorney who does it, or that happens to be your view, you are a terrorist... And we do not negotiate with terrorists. We do not treat with terrorists. We do not sign documents with terrorists. We hunt them down one by one and bring them to justice.
So war talk is way out of line in this court. You are a big fellow. But you are not that big. You're no warrior. I know warriors. You are a terrorist. A species of criminal guilty of multiple attempted murders. In a very real sense, State Trooper Santiago had it right when you first were taken off that plane and into custody and you wondered where the press and where the TV crews were and he said you're no big deal.
You're no big deal.
What your counsel, what your able counsel and what the equally able United States attorneys have grappled with and what I have as honestly as I know how tried to grapple with, is why you did something so horrific. What was it that led you here to this court room today?
I have listened respectfully to what you have to say. And I ask you to search your heart and ask yourself what sort of unfathomable hate led you to do what you are guilty and admit you are guilty of doing. And I have an answer for you. It may not satisfy you, but as I search this entire record, it comes as close to understanding as I know.
It seems to me you hate the one thing that is most precious. You hate our freedom. Our individual freedom. Our individual freedom to live as we choose, to come and go as we choose, to believe or not believe as we individually choose. Here, in this society, the very winds carry freedom. They carry it everywhere from sea to shining sea.
It is because we prize individual freedom so much that you are here in this beautiful courtroom. So that everyone can see, truly see, that justice is administered fairly, individually, and discretely. It is for freedom's sake that your lawyers are striving so vigorously on your behalf and have filed appeals, will go on in their representation of you before other judges.
We are about it. Because we all know that the way we treat you, Mr. Reid, is the measure of our own liberties. Make no mistake though. It is yet true that we will bare any burden; pay any price, to preserve our freedoms. Look around this courtroom. Mark it well. The world is not going to long remember what you or I say here. Day after tomorrow, it will be forgotten, but this, however, will long endure. Here in this courtroom and courtrooms all across America, the American people will gather to see that justice, individual justice, justice, not war, individual justice is in fact being done.
The very President of the United States through his officers will have to come into courtrooms and lay out evidence on which specific matters can be judged and juries of citizens will gather to sit and judge that evidence democratically, to mold and shape and refine our sense of justice.
See that flag, Mr. Reid? That's the flag of the United States of America. That flag will fly there long after this is all forgotten. That flag stands for freedom. You know it always will.
Mr. Custody Officer. Stand him down.
So, how much of this Judge's comments did we hear on our TV sets? We need more judges like Judge Young, but that's another subject. Pass this around. Everyone should and needs to hear what this fine judge had to say. Powerful words that strike home.
God bless America
Karen.
Remember the guy who got on a plane with a bomb built into his shoe and tried to light it? Did you know his trial is over? Did you know he was sentenced? Did you see/hear any of the judge's comments on TV/Radio? Didn't think so. Everyone should hear what the judge had to say.
Ruling by Judge William Young US District Court
Prior to sentencing, the Judge asked the defendant if he had anything to say.
His response: After admitting his guilt to the court for the record, Reid also admitted his "allegiance to Osama bin Laden, to Islam, and to the religion of Allah," defiantly stated "I think I ought not apologize for my actions," and told the court "I am at war with your country."
Judge Young then delivered the statement quoted below, a stinging condemnation of Reid in particular and terrorists in general:
January 30, 2003, United States vs. Reid. Judge Young: Mr. Richard C. Reid, hearken now to the sentence the Court imposes upon you. On counts 1, 5 and 6 the Court sentences you to life in prison in the custody of the United States Attorney General. On counts 2, 3, 4 and 7, the Court sentences you to 20 years in prison on each count, the sentence on each count to run consecutive with the other.
That's 80 years. On count 8 the Court sentences you to the mandatory 30 years consecutive to the 80 years just imposed. The Court imposes upon you each of the eight counts a fine of $250,000 for the aggregate fine of $2 million. The Court accepts the government's recommendation with respect to restitution and orders restitution in the amount of $298.17 to Andre Bousquet and $5,784 to American Airlines. The Court imposes upon you the $800 special assessment.
The Court imposes upon you five years supervised release simply because the law requires it. But the life sentences are real life sentences so I need go no further. This is the sentence that is provided for by our statutes. It is a fair and just sentence. It is a righteous sentence.
Let me explain this to you. We are not afraid of you or any of your terrorist co-conspirators, Mr. Reid. We are Americans. We have been through the fire before. There is all too much war talk here and I say that to everyone with the utmost respect. Here in this court, where we deal with individuals as individuals and care for individuals as individuals. As human beings, we reach out for justice.
You are not an enemy combatant. You are a terrorist. You are not a soldier in any war. You are a terrorist. To give you that reference, to call you a soldier, gives you far too much stature. Whether it is the officers of government who do it or your attorney who does it, or that happens to be your view, you are a terrorist... And we do not negotiate with terrorists. We do not treat with terrorists. We do not sign documents with terrorists. We hunt them down one by one and bring them to justice.
So war talk is way out of line in this court. You are a big fellow. But you are not that big. You're no warrior. I know warriors. You are a terrorist. A species of criminal guilty of multiple attempted murders. In a very real sense, State Trooper Santiago had it right when you first were taken off that plane and into custody and you wondered where the press and where the TV crews were and he said you're no big deal.
You're no big deal.
What your counsel, what your able counsel and what the equally able United States attorneys have grappled with and what I have as honestly as I know how tried to grapple with, is why you did something so horrific. What was it that led you here to this court room today?
I have listened respectfully to what you have to say. And I ask you to search your heart and ask yourself what sort of unfathomable hate led you to do what you are guilty and admit you are guilty of doing. And I have an answer for you. It may not satisfy you, but as I search this entire record, it comes as close to understanding as I know.
It seems to me you hate the one thing that is most precious. You hate our freedom. Our individual freedom. Our individual freedom to live as we choose, to come and go as we choose, to believe or not believe as we individually choose. Here, in this society, the very winds carry freedom. They carry it everywhere from sea to shining sea.
It is because we prize individual freedom so much that you are here in this beautiful courtroom. So that everyone can see, truly see, that justice is administered fairly, individually, and discretely. It is for freedom's sake that your lawyers are striving so vigorously on your behalf and have filed appeals, will go on in their representation of you before other judges.
We are about it. Because we all know that the way we treat you, Mr. Reid, is the measure of our own liberties. Make no mistake though. It is yet true that we will bare any burden; pay any price, to preserve our freedoms. Look around this courtroom. Mark it well. The world is not going to long remember what you or I say here. Day after tomorrow, it will be forgotten, but this, however, will long endure. Here in this courtroom and courtrooms all across America, the American people will gather to see that justice, individual justice, justice, not war, individual justice is in fact being done.
The very President of the United States through his officers will have to come into courtrooms and lay out evidence on which specific matters can be judged and juries of citizens will gather to sit and judge that evidence democratically, to mold and shape and refine our sense of justice.
See that flag, Mr. Reid? That's the flag of the United States of America. That flag will fly there long after this is all forgotten. That flag stands for freedom. You know it always will.
Mr. Custody Officer. Stand him down.
So, how much of this Judge's comments did we hear on our TV sets? We need more judges like Judge Young, but that's another subject. Pass this around. Everyone should and needs to hear what this fine judge had to say. Powerful words that strike home.
God bless America
More from the wounded one...
Posted by
Karen
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Ok - I know that sounds melodramatic, but it's just how I'm feeling at this moment in time. I went into work yesterday - against Mum's wishes, but I'm glad in a way that I did.
Simply because we'd got four people in the department off. Ok - I know one of them doesn't really count (and no - I'm not being rude / nasty) because my line manager doesn't take any of the calls, but the other three do count.
And, as it transpired, if I hadn't been in, most of the reports that I do wouldn't have been done. No, that's not me blowing my own trumpet - it's a statement of fact, as the guy who normally covers for me if I'm on holiday / off sick / got tnfi (totally no f*****g interest) was also off.
But, despite that, my colleagues were really supportive and seemed to make allowances for me being a little slower on the computer than normal, as I'm one of these lucky (ok - smart ass) people that can type properly - as in using all the fingers of both hands.
Equally, I was glad I went into work, as it gave me a chance to catch up on the 50 + e-mails that seem to have landed in my in-box. I occasionally get spam, but more often than not, I get some real gems being sent into me - this one being one of them....
See the next post for the e-mail - it deserves a post of its own.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Simply because we'd got four people in the department off. Ok - I know one of them doesn't really count (and no - I'm not being rude / nasty) because my line manager doesn't take any of the calls, but the other three do count.
And, as it transpired, if I hadn't been in, most of the reports that I do wouldn't have been done. No, that's not me blowing my own trumpet - it's a statement of fact, as the guy who normally covers for me if I'm on holiday / off sick / got tnfi (totally no f*****g interest) was also off.
But, despite that, my colleagues were really supportive and seemed to make allowances for me being a little slower on the computer than normal, as I'm one of these lucky (ok - smart ass) people that can type properly - as in using all the fingers of both hands.
Equally, I was glad I went into work, as it gave me a chance to catch up on the 50 + e-mails that seem to have landed in my in-box. I occasionally get spam, but more often than not, I get some real gems being sent into me - this one being one of them....
See the next post for the e-mail - it deserves a post of its own.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Sorry for not updating my blog... But I’ve got a good excuse!
Posted by
Karen
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I guess the title of this entry says it all. There hasn’t been much happening in my life – I wake up, go to work, deal with people I like and dislike, come home, have dinner and crash out asleep.
But that changed on Friday, when Flame decided to throw me off, because she’d got a sore back – something I didn’t know about until I got the vet to have a look at her.
When I came off Flame, I landed on my back. Ok, as I’ve said in the past, when I ride any horse, I wear my body armour – but that doesn’t protect you from the instinct to put an arm out to cushion the fall.
Me being my normal self, put my right arm out to protect my back and lessen the impact, and felt a slight pull in the shoulder… I didn’t think too much about being thrown off and bits ached, but there was nothing drastic for me to worry about – or so I thought…
The real fun and games started over the weekend, when Mum decided that the best option was for her to drive, as my shoulder was giving me problems, and I’d agreed that the best course of action was to go and see my GP (General Practitioner – also known as the family doctor) if things hadn’t improved by Thursday…
Or rather that was the plan. I was at my desk on Tuesday, and reached slightly awkwardly to get a rather heavy file from the other side of my desk, when I felt the familiar, horrible tearing sensation in my shoulder.
I could have cheerfully screamed and passed out, but somehow managed to complete the call I was on, before going green. I took two 500mg paracetamol tablets, in the vain hope that they would quieten things down, but they didn’t even come close to touching the pain.
It got to the stage when I ended up leaving early, as I’d been lucky enough to get an emergency appointment with my GP and went to pick Mum up from work, as we’d travelled in together, and I’d been the one to drive!
Thankfully, Mum was happy(ish) to drive my car in order to get me to the doctors’ surgery, and said that if I was going to have to go to Warwick hospital for x-rays, she wanted to make a detour home and collect her car, which had her glasses in, and more to the point, she was fully insured driving it – my car is only covered 3rd party insurance for her to drive!
I was called into see the doctor on time, and he examined my shoulder and reviewed my notes from the previous visits for my shoulder. He said that he couldn’t see that there was any need for me to go for any x-rays (YES!) as he said:
“If you have any more x-rays, I think your shoulder may drop off or you’ll glow in the dark”
I was also told to take yesterday (Wednesday) off, and that I was to use my own discretion about returning to work, and if I was still in pain on Friday, then I was to make an appointment for Monday, and get the shoulder join re-checked.
So, as I type this, I’m seated at my home computer, with my right arm immobilised in a sling again, and am drugged up to the eyeballs on various pain killers, trying to lead some semblance of a normal life.
As I said in a message to one of my colleagues yesterday, when she asked how I was feeling:
“….. The painkillers take the edge off things, but I still feel very woolly headed – more than normal!”
And add to that, the mere fact that I’ve managed about 6 hours sleep in the past 48 hours, and you can see why I’ve opted to take these past two days off. But that doesn’t stop me feeling guilty because I feel that I’ve dropped my colleagues in the brown smelly stuff, as there is an awful lot of stuff that I am responsible for, apart from doing my obligatory mickey taking!
I guess that there is a positive side – I’ve been able to watch a couple of really good films – Bruce Willis in The Fifth Element and Will Smith in I, Robot. Both were films that I’d bought, but never had chance to sit and watch.
But, being off work, and refusing to watch the crap that masquerades as daytime television, it gave me a damned good excuse to get as comfortable as possible, get the cats settled and watch the films without interruption. (I’d turned my mobile phone off!)
Time to go and spray my shoulder again (yes – it does help being a partial contortionist – especially as I’ve failed in my attempts to train either cat to use an aerosol for me!) Then I’m going to settle down and watch The Mothman Prophecies – with Richard Gere. He’s not an actor I normally like, but from what I’ve been told, it’s a damned good film...
Back when I get chance, and hopefully, I’ll be feeling brighter…
Karen.
Don’t let the b’stards get you down.
But that changed on Friday, when Flame decided to throw me off, because she’d got a sore back – something I didn’t know about until I got the vet to have a look at her.
When I came off Flame, I landed on my back. Ok, as I’ve said in the past, when I ride any horse, I wear my body armour – but that doesn’t protect you from the instinct to put an arm out to cushion the fall.
Me being my normal self, put my right arm out to protect my back and lessen the impact, and felt a slight pull in the shoulder… I didn’t think too much about being thrown off and bits ached, but there was nothing drastic for me to worry about – or so I thought…
The real fun and games started over the weekend, when Mum decided that the best option was for her to drive, as my shoulder was giving me problems, and I’d agreed that the best course of action was to go and see my GP (General Practitioner – also known as the family doctor) if things hadn’t improved by Thursday…
Or rather that was the plan. I was at my desk on Tuesday, and reached slightly awkwardly to get a rather heavy file from the other side of my desk, when I felt the familiar, horrible tearing sensation in my shoulder.
I could have cheerfully screamed and passed out, but somehow managed to complete the call I was on, before going green. I took two 500mg paracetamol tablets, in the vain hope that they would quieten things down, but they didn’t even come close to touching the pain.
It got to the stage when I ended up leaving early, as I’d been lucky enough to get an emergency appointment with my GP and went to pick Mum up from work, as we’d travelled in together, and I’d been the one to drive!
Thankfully, Mum was happy(ish) to drive my car in order to get me to the doctors’ surgery, and said that if I was going to have to go to Warwick hospital for x-rays, she wanted to make a detour home and collect her car, which had her glasses in, and more to the point, she was fully insured driving it – my car is only covered 3rd party insurance for her to drive!
I was called into see the doctor on time, and he examined my shoulder and reviewed my notes from the previous visits for my shoulder. He said that he couldn’t see that there was any need for me to go for any x-rays (YES!) as he said:
“If you have any more x-rays, I think your shoulder may drop off or you’ll glow in the dark”
I was also told to take yesterday (Wednesday) off, and that I was to use my own discretion about returning to work, and if I was still in pain on Friday, then I was to make an appointment for Monday, and get the shoulder join re-checked.
So, as I type this, I’m seated at my home computer, with my right arm immobilised in a sling again, and am drugged up to the eyeballs on various pain killers, trying to lead some semblance of a normal life.
As I said in a message to one of my colleagues yesterday, when she asked how I was feeling:
“….. The painkillers take the edge off things, but I still feel very woolly headed – more than normal!”
And add to that, the mere fact that I’ve managed about 6 hours sleep in the past 48 hours, and you can see why I’ve opted to take these past two days off. But that doesn’t stop me feeling guilty because I feel that I’ve dropped my colleagues in the brown smelly stuff, as there is an awful lot of stuff that I am responsible for, apart from doing my obligatory mickey taking!
I guess that there is a positive side – I’ve been able to watch a couple of really good films – Bruce Willis in The Fifth Element and Will Smith in I, Robot. Both were films that I’d bought, but never had chance to sit and watch.
But, being off work, and refusing to watch the crap that masquerades as daytime television, it gave me a damned good excuse to get as comfortable as possible, get the cats settled and watch the films without interruption. (I’d turned my mobile phone off!)
Time to go and spray my shoulder again (yes – it does help being a partial contortionist – especially as I’ve failed in my attempts to train either cat to use an aerosol for me!) Then I’m going to settle down and watch The Mothman Prophecies – with Richard Gere. He’s not an actor I normally like, but from what I’ve been told, it’s a damned good film...
Back when I get chance, and hopefully, I’ll be feeling brighter…
Karen.
Don’t let the b’stards get you down.
A quiet weekend...
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Karen
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There's nothing like spending a weekend with friends to make you sure that you feel refreshed and ready for work on the Monday. Or not as the case may be. I was fine until I had Flame stand on my bloody hand this morning, whilst I was picking her feet out. Ok - I know that it wasn't intentional, but it hurt like hell, and I've never seen a horse look so offended when I swore.
Still, I guess it could have been a lot worse, and I could have ended up with a broken hand, instead of a badly bruised one. But that doesn't stop me typing, or doing all the other stupid things that I seem to have the ability to do...
Including winding up my other half about the rugby - England got beaten by Wales. But that was my pay back for him taking the mickey out of me, as I support Scotland in the Six Nations (don't ask - it's a long story!)
Suppose I should get on with some w*rk....
Back later, if I get peace and quiet...
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Still, I guess it could have been a lot worse, and I could have ended up with a broken hand, instead of a badly bruised one. But that doesn't stop me typing, or doing all the other stupid things that I seem to have the ability to do...
Including winding up my other half about the rugby - England got beaten by Wales. But that was my pay back for him taking the mickey out of me, as I support Scotland in the Six Nations (don't ask - it's a long story!)
Suppose I should get on with some w*rk....
Back later, if I get peace and quiet...
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Some pertinent advice....
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Karen
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Couldn't resist these - and White Wolf - you're warped!!!
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle.
From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staringat her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
Now for the joke:
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.
As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he would like to pay for his treatment. She asked if he had health insurance.
He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked if he had money in the bank.
He replied, "No money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied," Send the bill to my brother-in-law"
Back when I get peace and quiet!
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle.
From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staringat her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
Now for the joke:
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.
As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he would like to pay for his treatment. She asked if he had health insurance.
He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked if he had money in the bank.
He replied, "No money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied," Send the bill to my brother-in-law"
Back when I get peace and quiet!
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down
Just something to brighten a dreary Monday
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Karen
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I make no apologies for these next two jokes - they were sent to me by an American friend!
During a recent campaign tour of the Apache Nation in the state of New Mexico, President George W. Bush said that he planned to increase every Native American's income by $40,000 a year.
The President refused repeated requests for details of his plan. However, he also told the Apaches that during his career as Governor of Texas, he signed YES 9,637 times on Indian issues that reach his desk for approval.
Before his departure, the Apache Tribe presented the President with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian Name, 'Walking Eagle'.
After the President's departure on Air Force One, tribal officials explained to the news media that 'Walking Eagle' is the name given to a bird so full of shit that it can't fly.
And the next joke:
Bush, Cheney and Rumsfield are together on Air Force One.
Bush says, "If I dropped a $1,000 bill out the window I would make someone very happy."
Cheney says, "If I dropped 10 $100 bills out the window I would make 10 people very happy."
Rumsfield says, "If I dropped 100 $10 bills out the window I would make 100 people very happy."
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "Big shots ! If I dropped the three of them out the window I would make 56 million people very happy."
Suppose I should look like I'm doing some work...
Back later - if I get chance.
Karen.
Don't the b'stards get you down.
During a recent campaign tour of the Apache Nation in the state of New Mexico, President George W. Bush said that he planned to increase every Native American's income by $40,000 a year.
The President refused repeated requests for details of his plan. However, he also told the Apaches that during his career as Governor of Texas, he signed YES 9,637 times on Indian issues that reach his desk for approval.
Before his departure, the Apache Tribe presented the President with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian Name, 'Walking Eagle'.
After the President's departure on Air Force One, tribal officials explained to the news media that 'Walking Eagle' is the name given to a bird so full of shit that it can't fly.
And the next joke:
Bush, Cheney and Rumsfield are together on Air Force One.
Bush says, "If I dropped a $1,000 bill out the window I would make someone very happy."
Cheney says, "If I dropped 10 $100 bills out the window I would make 10 people very happy."
Rumsfield says, "If I dropped 100 $10 bills out the window I would make 100 people very happy."
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "Big shots ! If I dropped the three of them out the window I would make 56 million people very happy."
Suppose I should look like I'm doing some work...
Back later - if I get chance.
Karen.
Don't the b'stards get you down.
A good weekend (Nothing else matters)
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Karen
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This weekend has been far more fun than I'd expected it to be.. Simply because I was able to spend time with people I care about, and have a damned good time in the process!
Saturday, Mum and I went shopping to Merry Hill (a rather over-rated shopping centre in my opinion!) and then the real fun started on Saturday night... My friend Julian had invited me to an Erasure night at a club he regularly goes to, and told me to expect a shock when I saw him...
Shock was an understatement. He'd dyed his dark hair a startling white blond (think Billy Idol / Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer hair colour.) The disturbing thing was, he looked bloody good. But, that wasn't the only trick up his sleeve...
It turned out that this party was a Karoke party, and if you were dressed up as either Andy Bell, or Vince Clarke then you had to sing an Erasure track. Ok - no problem there, as Julian's got quite a good voice. The problem came when he decided that he would do Erasure's Abba cover - Voulez Vous, and required a singing partner.
No prizes for guessing who he roped in for that. Yep. Muggins. I will admit, I was more than a little apprehensive, but in the end thought "what the hell" and went for it.
Ok - I probably made a real prat of myself, but I was of the opinion that if I could cope with doing a presentation at the conference, I could cope with making an idiot of myself with a good mate.
I don't know what time I got to bed, but I seem to recall that it was the early (or not so early) hours of this morning... And I'd promised Mum that I'd take her to a garden centre at Wychbold, near Droitwich!
Thankfully, I'd not drunk that much, and got home in time to pick Mum up and take her to Webbs, as I'd promised. As I drove home, I was listening to Kerrang! on the radio, and they plated one of the few Metallica songs that I really like: -
Nothing Else MattersSo close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters
For some reason, this song really speaks to a part of me that few people (other than those who've know me more years than any of us like to admit to) know even exists in me. Ok - I know that I appear sarcastic, and malevolent, but appearances can be very deceiving..
But all the same, if you don't like claws, don't pull a tiger's tail!
Time to call it quits - I've got to be up at 04:15 tomorrow morning to deal with Flame - I'm still trying to get used to the way that she likes to play about!
Back tomorrow.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Saturday, Mum and I went shopping to Merry Hill (a rather over-rated shopping centre in my opinion!) and then the real fun started on Saturday night... My friend Julian had invited me to an Erasure night at a club he regularly goes to, and told me to expect a shock when I saw him...
Shock was an understatement. He'd dyed his dark hair a startling white blond (think Billy Idol / Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer hair colour.) The disturbing thing was, he looked bloody good. But, that wasn't the only trick up his sleeve...
It turned out that this party was a Karoke party, and if you were dressed up as either Andy Bell, or Vince Clarke then you had to sing an Erasure track. Ok - no problem there, as Julian's got quite a good voice. The problem came when he decided that he would do Erasure's Abba cover - Voulez Vous, and required a singing partner.
No prizes for guessing who he roped in for that. Yep. Muggins. I will admit, I was more than a little apprehensive, but in the end thought "what the hell" and went for it.
Ok - I probably made a real prat of myself, but I was of the opinion that if I could cope with doing a presentation at the conference, I could cope with making an idiot of myself with a good mate.
I don't know what time I got to bed, but I seem to recall that it was the early (or not so early) hours of this morning... And I'd promised Mum that I'd take her to a garden centre at Wychbold, near Droitwich!
Thankfully, I'd not drunk that much, and got home in time to pick Mum up and take her to Webbs, as I'd promised. As I drove home, I was listening to Kerrang! on the radio, and they plated one of the few Metallica songs that I really like: -
Nothing Else MattersSo close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters
For some reason, this song really speaks to a part of me that few people (other than those who've know me more years than any of us like to admit to) know even exists in me. Ok - I know that I appear sarcastic, and malevolent, but appearances can be very deceiving..
But all the same, if you don't like claws, don't pull a tiger's tail!
Time to call it quits - I've got to be up at 04:15 tomorrow morning to deal with Flame - I'm still trying to get used to the way that she likes to play about!
Back tomorrow.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Coping with a migrane, and other things...
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Karen
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I know that it's been a few days since I've posted anything to my blog, but this was because I've been ill with the bane of my existence - migrane. For those people lucky enough to avoid suffering from this, let me try and give an insight into the pain and anguish that it can cause.
Imagine one side of your head is being crushed in a vice. Then, add to that pain visual disturbance that would make a drug induced hallucination seem like a Disney film. On top of that, add in nausea, which makes you feel like you're going to vomit if you move too quickly.
That was what I was trying to work though on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. My line manager was a real angel, and made sure that I managed to get quiet a bit of time away from my computer screen, as he admitted that he knew what it was like to suffer from migraine himself.
And I wasn't helped by smart ass comments like "why aren't you wearing your glasses? Surely you'd be better off with them than wearing your contact lenses."
Congratulations. It doesn't matter what I wear to try and improve my eyesight - the problem lies in my skull - something along the lines of the blood vessels in the brain constricting, and causing the pain. Or something like that.
Including the one idiot on Friday who was unwise enough to argue with me. He claimed that he'd ordered a specific tyre pattern, and we'd sent the wrong one. There was only one problem with that. The person who'd placed the order has far more experience than anyone of us in the office, and if it had been me, I could have understood it, as I was spaced out of my brain on various painkillers on Thursday, in an attempt to kill the migraine.
Ok - here's a little background on this. This idiot called me, and started screaming that the wrong tyres had been ordered at our end, and that he needed these tyres for a customer who was going to Europe on Saturday morning. (Aren't they always?!)
Unfortunately for the moron at the end of the 'phone, he'd picked the worst time to call me, as my head was pounding. He tried to get me to agree to the same day delivery, but I don't think he'd banked on dealing with a bad tempered, stubborn female.
I refused to give in on the same day delivery, but gave him the following options, to prove that I wasn't being awkward. (Well, no more than normal!)
* Delivery on Monday
* He collected the tyres from the warehouse
"I'll get back to you" was the response. Fine with me, as I could almost guarantee that it wouldn't be me that he'd speak to... Needless to say, the twerp called back and spoke to one of the others in the department, and said that the Monday delivery would be fine. What a surprise.
But, I will admit to feeling bight enough to escape out on Friday night with one of the girls... We went to a pub that I have a real soft spot for - The Blue Lias at Stockton. We sat and talked about things that had really wound the pair of us up over the past couple of weeks, things that were of interest to the pair of us, our respective families and of course, the office gossip.
Unfortunately, it looks like I'm about to become part of the office gossip, as one or two of the people who were at the post conference piss up are starting to jump to conclusions along the lines of 2 + 2 = 22. Thankfully, forewarned is forearmed as they say, and no doubt there'll be sly digs, and not so subtle questions about what happened.
Time to call this entry quits - I want a peaceful bath - without furry intervention!
Back later, if I feel up to it.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Imagine one side of your head is being crushed in a vice. Then, add to that pain visual disturbance that would make a drug induced hallucination seem like a Disney film. On top of that, add in nausea, which makes you feel like you're going to vomit if you move too quickly.
That was what I was trying to work though on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. My line manager was a real angel, and made sure that I managed to get quiet a bit of time away from my computer screen, as he admitted that he knew what it was like to suffer from migraine himself.
And I wasn't helped by smart ass comments like "why aren't you wearing your glasses? Surely you'd be better off with them than wearing your contact lenses."
Congratulations. It doesn't matter what I wear to try and improve my eyesight - the problem lies in my skull - something along the lines of the blood vessels in the brain constricting, and causing the pain. Or something like that.
Including the one idiot on Friday who was unwise enough to argue with me. He claimed that he'd ordered a specific tyre pattern, and we'd sent the wrong one. There was only one problem with that. The person who'd placed the order has far more experience than anyone of us in the office, and if it had been me, I could have understood it, as I was spaced out of my brain on various painkillers on Thursday, in an attempt to kill the migraine.
Ok - here's a little background on this. This idiot called me, and started screaming that the wrong tyres had been ordered at our end, and that he needed these tyres for a customer who was going to Europe on Saturday morning. (Aren't they always?!)
Unfortunately for the moron at the end of the 'phone, he'd picked the worst time to call me, as my head was pounding. He tried to get me to agree to the same day delivery, but I don't think he'd banked on dealing with a bad tempered, stubborn female.
I refused to give in on the same day delivery, but gave him the following options, to prove that I wasn't being awkward. (Well, no more than normal!)
* Delivery on Monday
* He collected the tyres from the warehouse
"I'll get back to you" was the response. Fine with me, as I could almost guarantee that it wouldn't be me that he'd speak to... Needless to say, the twerp called back and spoke to one of the others in the department, and said that the Monday delivery would be fine. What a surprise.
But, I will admit to feeling bight enough to escape out on Friday night with one of the girls... We went to a pub that I have a real soft spot for - The Blue Lias at Stockton. We sat and talked about things that had really wound the pair of us up over the past couple of weeks, things that were of interest to the pair of us, our respective families and of course, the office gossip.
Unfortunately, it looks like I'm about to become part of the office gossip, as one or two of the people who were at the post conference piss up are starting to jump to conclusions along the lines of 2 + 2 = 22. Thankfully, forewarned is forearmed as they say, and no doubt there'll be sly digs, and not so subtle questions about what happened.
Time to call this entry quits - I want a peaceful bath - without furry intervention!
Back later, if I feel up to it.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Just something to make the day go by...
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Karen
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I make no apologies for this, especially given my personal feelings on the US president…
Wouldn’t it be great to turn on the TV and hear President Bush give the following speech?
My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
It is now time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries that have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. By the way Palestinians, we are no longer going to restrain Israel!
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to our neighbours. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple of extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. We are sick and tired of the one-way highway. It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin'."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Go to Hell.
God Bless America.
Thank you and good night.
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I know that there will be people who will be screaming blue murder, because I'm taking the mickey out of the US president, but I make no apologies for this. If I could find something that poked fun at the British political system, I would get it posted onto my blog. And no, this isn't something that a Brit sent to me - this came in from the States. And all that remains for me to say is....
Many thanks for the jokes big guy...
Suppose I'd better look like I'm doing some work...
Back later, if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Wouldn’t it be great to turn on the TV and hear President Bush give the following speech?
My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
It is now time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries that have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. By the way Palestinians, we are no longer going to restrain Israel!
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to our neighbours. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple of extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. We are sick and tired of the one-way highway. It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin'."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Go to Hell.
God Bless America.
Thank you and good night.
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I know that there will be people who will be screaming blue murder, because I'm taking the mickey out of the US president, but I make no apologies for this. If I could find something that poked fun at the British political system, I would get it posted onto my blog. And no, this isn't something that a Brit sent to me - this came in from the States. And all that remains for me to say is....
Many thanks for the jokes big guy...
Suppose I'd better look like I'm doing some work...
Back later, if I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
Woah - what we have here is sense of humour failure...
Posted by
Karen
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Why can't people be more open minded? All I got today was comments about me being cuddled by a fella at the post conference piss up. The truth of the matter is, I was stone cold sober, as I was driving, and was absolutely freezing whilst I was walking up the drive at Warwick castle, and the fella in question was a real gent and acted as a wind break for me.
As we walked through the Kingmaker exhibit, the floor was rather uneven, and some of the waxworks were real people, who seemed to delight in making people jump. I had one of them jump out at me, and it was only because the fella I was with grabbed hold of me, that I prevented myself from getting injured, or falling flat on my face.
Mind you, he didn't object, as he jokingly said that he'd 'pulled.' (I knew damned well he was married and he knew that I was attached and that my partner was also at the do, so there was absolutely nothing in it.)
The comments were just enough to irritate me, and I will admit, it was one of the rare occasions that I was glad of managerial intervention. My line manager stepped into the fray, and told the responsible people to cut the comments, otherwise he wouldn't be held responsible if I decided to lay a few tales to rest.
But that didn't stop the subtle hints, and just to make matters more awkward for me, the fella whom had been my 'escort' for want of a better term, was in the office. He was totally professional and if he heard the comments, didn't rise to the bait. Well - not that he showed, anyway!
What makes me say that? Simple. He caught up with me in the canteen area, where I was making myself a coffee, and asked if the interest in our being together on Tuesday night was normal. I nodded, and I guess that he must have realised that I was heartily sick of all the comments / nudges and winks, because he gave me a lovely cuddle, and told me not to worry.
It turned out, after I'd left the rest of the party-goers and headed for home, he'd spoken to my partner (or significant other - the choice of phrase depends on my mood!) and elaborated on the plan that the pair of us had hatched.
It basically boiled down to the fact that not many people at the office know him, and as I'm a newbie (so to speak), we were going to give all the office mob something to talk about - even though absolutely nothing happened!
To be honest, the sense of humour failure was mine - but thankfully, there were people willing to make me laugh, and act as unwilling scratching posts for my claws this afternoon. My poor maligned line manager being one of them.
He started taking the mickey out of one of the other girls, and I decided to start flexing the claws again, as I'd been rather subdued for a while... I gave her the idea that she could refuse to pick up his lunch for him when she went out for lunch, and that was met with a howl of anguish, and the comment:
"Ok, Karen, put the claws away. I didn't mean it."
That just made me laugh, but it was soon to be my turn to get on the receiving end of the waspish sense of humor that my line manager seems to have. But, instead of reacting verbally, I just waited to get a more pertinent type of revenge.
I waited until he was leaning back from his computer, stretching his back, and then took careful aim, and threw my lavender stress ball, so that it bounced off the keyboard and onto his desk.
The look of surprise was well worth it, as I'd never given any indication that I could throw as accurately as that. However, his accuracy wasn't as good as mine and he missed the return shot at me by a country mile. Mind you - I made damned sure of that - I ducked!
A few minutes later, it was time for me to escape, and it was with great hilarity that I left, as my line manager was too embarassed by the missed shot to even say anything to me, apart from wishing me a good weekend, and that he'd see me on Monday...
Suppose I'd better call this entry quits - I've got to get the cats sorted for the night.
Back when I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
As we walked through the Kingmaker exhibit, the floor was rather uneven, and some of the waxworks were real people, who seemed to delight in making people jump. I had one of them jump out at me, and it was only because the fella I was with grabbed hold of me, that I prevented myself from getting injured, or falling flat on my face.
Mind you, he didn't object, as he jokingly said that he'd 'pulled.' (I knew damned well he was married and he knew that I was attached and that my partner was also at the do, so there was absolutely nothing in it.)
The comments were just enough to irritate me, and I will admit, it was one of the rare occasions that I was glad of managerial intervention. My line manager stepped into the fray, and told the responsible people to cut the comments, otherwise he wouldn't be held responsible if I decided to lay a few tales to rest.
But that didn't stop the subtle hints, and just to make matters more awkward for me, the fella whom had been my 'escort' for want of a better term, was in the office. He was totally professional and if he heard the comments, didn't rise to the bait. Well - not that he showed, anyway!
What makes me say that? Simple. He caught up with me in the canteen area, where I was making myself a coffee, and asked if the interest in our being together on Tuesday night was normal. I nodded, and I guess that he must have realised that I was heartily sick of all the comments / nudges and winks, because he gave me a lovely cuddle, and told me not to worry.
It turned out, after I'd left the rest of the party-goers and headed for home, he'd spoken to my partner (or significant other - the choice of phrase depends on my mood!) and elaborated on the plan that the pair of us had hatched.
It basically boiled down to the fact that not many people at the office know him, and as I'm a newbie (so to speak), we were going to give all the office mob something to talk about - even though absolutely nothing happened!
To be honest, the sense of humour failure was mine - but thankfully, there were people willing to make me laugh, and act as unwilling scratching posts for my claws this afternoon. My poor maligned line manager being one of them.
He started taking the mickey out of one of the other girls, and I decided to start flexing the claws again, as I'd been rather subdued for a while... I gave her the idea that she could refuse to pick up his lunch for him when she went out for lunch, and that was met with a howl of anguish, and the comment:
"Ok, Karen, put the claws away. I didn't mean it."
That just made me laugh, but it was soon to be my turn to get on the receiving end of the waspish sense of humor that my line manager seems to have. But, instead of reacting verbally, I just waited to get a more pertinent type of revenge.
I waited until he was leaning back from his computer, stretching his back, and then took careful aim, and threw my lavender stress ball, so that it bounced off the keyboard and onto his desk.
The look of surprise was well worth it, as I'd never given any indication that I could throw as accurately as that. However, his accuracy wasn't as good as mine and he missed the return shot at me by a country mile. Mind you - I made damned sure of that - I ducked!
A few minutes later, it was time for me to escape, and it was with great hilarity that I left, as my line manager was too embarassed by the missed shot to even say anything to me, apart from wishing me a good weekend, and that he'd see me on Monday...
Suppose I'd better call this entry quits - I've got to get the cats sorted for the night.
Back when I get the chance.
Karen.
Don't let the b'stards get you down.
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