Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
**********************************************************************
Only in Canada
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
There are some things that don't need explaining - and this is one of them.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
**********************************************************************
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
**********************************************************************
Italian women are tough!
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Just a little something that made me smile.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
************************************************************************
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite ravioli wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen, where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favourite ravioli.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture.
His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the ravioli was already in his mouth.
With a trembling hand he reached up to the edge of the table, when suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.
"Va fanculo!" she said. "Questi sono per il funerale."
(Translation: F. off. These are for the funeral)
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
************************************************************************
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite ravioli wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen, where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favourite ravioli.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture.
His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the ravioli was already in his mouth.
With a trembling hand he reached up to the edge of the table, when suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.
"Va fanculo!" she said. "Questi sono per il funerale."
(Translation: F. off. These are for the funeral)
On-the-spot fines planned for careless driving
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
This was announced this morning, and this seems to be rather interesting… The BBC has got this on it’s website…. As normal, I’ll post my thoughts at the end.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************************
Police will get powers to fine careless drivers on the spot, rather than taking them to court, as part of a government strategy to make Britain's roads safer.
Ministers say motorists who tail-gate, undertake or cut others up often go unpunished and that introducing instant penalties would be more efficient.
Offenders would get a fine of at least £80 and three points on their licence.
Critics say the approach - likely to be introduced in 2012 in England, Scotland and Wales - is too simplistic.
Drug crackdown
Currently motorists who have driven in a careless manner have to be prosecuted through the courts.
Transport Secretary Philip Hammond will give a written statement to MPs on Wednesday explaining the new strategy for England, Scotland and Wales.
The Department for Transport (DfT) said it would also include a crackdown on drug-driving and the closing of loopholes that allow people to escape drink-driving charges.
Disqualified drivers would have to undergo retraining, and possibly take another test, before they got their licence back.
Courts would be encouraged to make more use of their powers to seize vehicles for the most serious offences.
Ministers insist the new approach will try to target genuinely reckless motorists rather than those who normally follow the rules but make an inadvertent mistake.
There will be support for new drivers who need to hone their driving skills, and wider range of retraining and education courses for cases of less-serious offences.
'Greatest danger'
A DfT spokesman said: "The strategy will focus on cracking down on the really reckless drivers through more efficient enforcement.
"By giving the police the tools to deal with those who present the greatest danger to others we can make our roads even safer.
"While seeking to do everything possible to tackle the most dangerous drivers, the strategy will also help the responsible majority to improve their driving.
"This is the government's twin approach to improving road safety."
But the Institute of Advanced Motorists said on-the-spot fines were not necessarily the right approach for careless driving because, unlike speeding, cases were often not clear-cut.
It also said their introduction could make police reluctant to enter into lengthy prosecutions even in more serious cases.
*********************************************************************************
Good idea in theory, as it should mean that there are more traffic officers on the roads, but in practise? Not going to work, as the budget cuts as the police are losing staff left, rights and centre. Equally, what one person considers careless, another may not see any problem with…
So I’ll reserve judgment and see what happens, as I can see this plan not making any further than the ideas stage…
K
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************************
Police will get powers to fine careless drivers on the spot, rather than taking them to court, as part of a government strategy to make Britain's roads safer.
Ministers say motorists who tail-gate, undertake or cut others up often go unpunished and that introducing instant penalties would be more efficient.
Offenders would get a fine of at least £80 and three points on their licence.
Critics say the approach - likely to be introduced in 2012 in England, Scotland and Wales - is too simplistic.
Drug crackdown
Currently motorists who have driven in a careless manner have to be prosecuted through the courts.
Transport Secretary Philip Hammond will give a written statement to MPs on Wednesday explaining the new strategy for England, Scotland and Wales.
The Department for Transport (DfT) said it would also include a crackdown on drug-driving and the closing of loopholes that allow people to escape drink-driving charges.
Disqualified drivers would have to undergo retraining, and possibly take another test, before they got their licence back.
Courts would be encouraged to make more use of their powers to seize vehicles for the most serious offences.
Ministers insist the new approach will try to target genuinely reckless motorists rather than those who normally follow the rules but make an inadvertent mistake.
There will be support for new drivers who need to hone their driving skills, and wider range of retraining and education courses for cases of less-serious offences.
'Greatest danger'
A DfT spokesman said: "The strategy will focus on cracking down on the really reckless drivers through more efficient enforcement.
"By giving the police the tools to deal with those who present the greatest danger to others we can make our roads even safer.
"While seeking to do everything possible to tackle the most dangerous drivers, the strategy will also help the responsible majority to improve their driving.
"This is the government's twin approach to improving road safety."
But the Institute of Advanced Motorists said on-the-spot fines were not necessarily the right approach for careless driving because, unlike speeding, cases were often not clear-cut.
It also said their introduction could make police reluctant to enter into lengthy prosecutions even in more serious cases.
*********************************************************************************
Good idea in theory, as it should mean that there are more traffic officers on the roads, but in practise? Not going to work, as the budget cuts as the police are losing staff left, rights and centre. Equally, what one person considers careless, another may not see any problem with…
So I’ll reserve judgment and see what happens, as I can see this plan not making any further than the ideas stage…
K
On-the-spot fines planned for careless driving
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
This was announced this morning, and this seems to be rather interesting… The BBC has got this on it’s website…. As normal, I’ll post my thoughts at the end.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
********************************************************************************************************
Police will get powers to fine careless drivers on the spot, rather than taking them to court, as part of a government strategy to make Britain's roads safer.
Ministers say motorists who tail-gate, undertake or cut others up often go unpunished and that introducing instant penalties would be more efficient.
Offenders would get a fine of at least £80 and three points on their licence.
Critics say the approach - likely to be introduced in 2012 in England, Scotland and Wales - is too simplistic.
Drug crackdown
Currently motorists who have driven in a careless manner have to be prosecuted through the courts.
Transport Secretary Philip Hammond will give a written statement to MPs on Wednesday explaining the new strategy for England, Scotland and Wales.
The Department for Transport (DfT) said it would also include a crackdown on drug-driving and the closing of loopholes that allow people to escape drink-driving charges.
Disqualified drivers would have to undergo retraining, and possibly take another test, before they got their licence back.
Courts would be encouraged to make more use of their powers to seize vehicles for the most serious offences.
Ministers insist the new approach will try to target genuinely reckless motorists rather than those who normally follow the rules but make an inadvertent mistake.
There will be support for new drivers who need to hone their driving skills, and wider range of retraining and education courses for cases of less-serious offences.
'Greatest danger'
A DfT spokesman said: "The strategy will focus on cracking down on the really reckless drivers through more efficient enforcement.
"By giving the police the tools to deal with those who present the greatest danger to others we can make our roads even safer.
"While seeking to do everything possible to tackle the most dangerous drivers, the strategy will also help the responsible majority to improve their driving.
"This is the government's twin approach to improving road safety."
But the Institute of Advanced Motorists said on-the-spot fines were not necessarily the right approach for careless driving because, unlike speeding, cases were often not clear-cut.
It also said their introduction could make police reluctant to enter into lengthy prosecutions even in more serious cases.
*********************************************************************************
Good idea in theory, as it should mean that there are more traffic officers on the roads, but in practise? Not going to work, as the budget cuts as the police are losing staff left, rights and centre. Equally, what one person considers careless, another may not see any problem with…
So I’ll reserve judgment and see what happens, as I can see this plan not making any further than the ideas stage…
K
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
********************************************************************************************************
Police will get powers to fine careless drivers on the spot, rather than taking them to court, as part of a government strategy to make Britain's roads safer.
Ministers say motorists who tail-gate, undertake or cut others up often go unpunished and that introducing instant penalties would be more efficient.
Offenders would get a fine of at least £80 and three points on their licence.
Critics say the approach - likely to be introduced in 2012 in England, Scotland and Wales - is too simplistic.
Drug crackdown
Currently motorists who have driven in a careless manner have to be prosecuted through the courts.
Transport Secretary Philip Hammond will give a written statement to MPs on Wednesday explaining the new strategy for England, Scotland and Wales.
The Department for Transport (DfT) said it would also include a crackdown on drug-driving and the closing of loopholes that allow people to escape drink-driving charges.
Disqualified drivers would have to undergo retraining, and possibly take another test, before they got their licence back.
Courts would be encouraged to make more use of their powers to seize vehicles for the most serious offences.
Ministers insist the new approach will try to target genuinely reckless motorists rather than those who normally follow the rules but make an inadvertent mistake.
There will be support for new drivers who need to hone their driving skills, and wider range of retraining and education courses for cases of less-serious offences.
'Greatest danger'
A DfT spokesman said: "The strategy will focus on cracking down on the really reckless drivers through more efficient enforcement.
"By giving the police the tools to deal with those who present the greatest danger to others we can make our roads even safer.
"While seeking to do everything possible to tackle the most dangerous drivers, the strategy will also help the responsible majority to improve their driving.
"This is the government's twin approach to improving road safety."
But the Institute of Advanced Motorists said on-the-spot fines were not necessarily the right approach for careless driving because, unlike speeding, cases were often not clear-cut.
It also said their introduction could make police reluctant to enter into lengthy prosecutions even in more serious cases.
*********************************************************************************
Good idea in theory, as it should mean that there are more traffic officers on the roads, but in practise? Not going to work, as the budget cuts as the police are losing staff left, rights and centre. Equally, what one person considers careless, another may not see any problem with…
So I’ll reserve judgment and see what happens, as I can see this plan not making any further than the ideas stage…
K
Another Bank Holiday, and more travelling
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Well, it’s the end of anther bank holiday – this time it was a four day run, as it was the Royal Wedding on the Friday, and the traditional May Day bank holiday today.
Me being me, didn’t spend the bank holiday at home. Instead, I travelled down to see my best friend and his family, and made the usual trip to Auto Italia at Brooklands.
Now the trip on Friday started out quite well, and I was making my leisurely way down the A5, and was starting to wonder if the weather was going to improve, as it was misty, murky, and generally overcast – and didn’t improve the further south I went!
For once, I didn’t manage to get lost, and arrived at my friend’s house, in time to see the Royal Wedding. Bugger. I was planning on avoiding it, but there was no way I could politely get out of it… but in a way, it wasn’t as bad as thought it would be, as it gave me a chance to sit and relax…
My friend arrived, and joined in the commentary with not so subtle comments about the camera angles from the BBC coverage, not to mention the dust that was very apparent of the tops of the wooden decorations on the choir area… Ah – the magic of television!
The rest of the day went quietly, with jokes being told, and plans for the following day being sorted – including lunch (we were taking a cool bag to Brooklands – past experience had taught the pair of us to take food & drink with us!)
The evening, after dinner, we sat watching the documentary Mega Factories (it had been on the National Geographic channel.) This time, it was on the Jack Daniels factory. Now, as it happens, I was given a bottle of Gentleman Jack. Now I am the first one to admit that I am not a great Bourbon fan… In fact, I normally avoid the stuff like the plague – but only because I had no inclination to try it…
However, having seen the program on the Jack Daniels factory, I found myself thinking about this bottle, and decided that it best thing to do would be to take the bottle with me, and crack it open with someone I could share a laugh and a drink with…
So, me being me, cracked the bottle open and shared it with my friend, who was a real sweetie, and showed me the difference between Gentleman Jack and the more “common” (for want of a better term – no offence intended!) Old No. 7. I have to admit that Gentleman Jack is a heck of a lot smoother, sweeter and smokier tasting…
However, there was a sting in the tail for me. I had the worst night’s sleep I have had for ages – and I would swear blind that it was the JD that did me in. So, it taught me one thing – don’t drink the stuff before I go to bed!
The following morning, I was squeaking like I was on helium again. No – not a chest infection this time – it was my hay fever that had gotten to my vocal cords. Aside from giving me nightmares, the JD had helped me to forget to take my Q-var inhaler (the brown preventer), so my immune system decided to go into overdrive…
Needless to say this caused much hilarity for my friend, but I took the ribbing good naturedly, as I knew that it wasn’t meant maliciously…
Brooklands itself has really changed since the last time I was down there – and in some ways, I’m sorry to say that it is to the detriment of the Auto Italia show. The cars were quite spectacular as normal (including the Ferrari Enzo) but there were not the normal range of cars… It seemed that the Lamborghini contingent was an awful lot smaller than normal, and that the Ferrari 430 Scuderia was rather too common for my liking, and there were no Pagani Zondas or Bugattis of any flavour – let alone the Veyron.
The test hill was only run the once, but that was well worth it, as some of the cars nearly didn’t make it up (mainly the small Fiats – things like the Cinquecento) but there were a couple of cars that were rather special going up the hill – including the Lamborghini & Ferrari safety cars…
After we’d watched the cars blasting (or not blasting) their merry way up the test hill, we had a walk around some of the cars that were organised into their respective car clubs… The one that did make me smile was a green Fiat campervan with a sticker on the rear screen that read:
Scrap that refuses to die
It really made me smile, and reminded me of the sticker that I’d had on my Toyota Yaris:
Not available from Toys ‘R’ Us
We finally left Brooklands at 16:50 (ish) and once we were on the grassy area where the car was parked, I freely admit to taking my shoes off, so that I could walk barefoot. Not because my feet hurt – far from it – they were too damned hot in my shoes!
We stopped off at the Marquis of Granby pub on the way home (no idea whereabouts – that’s one of the problems with not being local area) and had a drink in the gardens – well away from the smokers.
My friend seemed to be doing his best to cheer me up, as I have to admit that I was feeling somewhat flat…
Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life's mystery seems so faded
Runaway Train – Soul Asylum
I explained what was happening (or not happening) with the cardio appointment, and I have to admit that I was really quite scared, because I thought that he would go loopy because I’d not mentioned it to him…
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain
Runaway Train – Soul Asylum
Thankfully, I will admit to severely underestimating him. He was a real angel, and told me that he would be there for me, and all I had to do was pick the ‘phone up to him, and he would move heaven and earth to get to me. I don’t know what I would do without his friendship, and it’s really reassuring to know that there is someone out there who is willing to provide that sort of support to me.
Now that the world isn't ending
It's love that I'm sending to you
Isn't the love of a hero
And that's why I fear it won't do
Hero – Chad Koeger
We headed for home, but the trouble was, I was too damned tired to do the chilli justice, and freely admit to sparking out cold on the sofa (and snoring according to my friend!)
Sunday was a more relaxed day, and we went to the Aces High gallery in Wendover, in the morning. That place is becoming lethal to me, as I bought another print – this one of the Vulcan...
The afternoon was spent dribbling over some beautiful classic cars (even if I did think that a couple of the cars should have been excluded – one of them being a Jaguar XJS – the only thing that could have been called was scrap!)
Now onto today. I knew that I was heading for home, and I would be going to see my god-daughter, Amber. I also knew that Amber was less than impressed with me, because I’d been to Auto Italia, and not taken her (the kid is Tifosi – she almost bleeds scarlet and gold!). I arrived at her home, and she was standing in the front door, with a face like a major thunderstorm, and I knew that I was in real trouble with her…
Or at least I was until I burst into tears. It wasn’t intentional – far from it. it was a combination of stress over her reaction, and me being worried about my forthcoming hospital stay. Ok – I don’t know the date of it just yet, but it was (and still is) preying on my mind.
Amber was such a sweetie – she ran over to me, and flung her arms around me, and kept wiping the tears away with her handkerchief, telling me that I was going to be ok – she would thump anyone who hurt me! I mean, what can you say when your goddaughter says that to you?
I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone!
Boulevard of Broken Dreams – Green Day
So, as I type this, I am emotionally drained, and far form ready to go into the playpen tomorrow, but I guess that I had better call this quits, so that I can try and get some sleep tonight.
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Me being me, didn’t spend the bank holiday at home. Instead, I travelled down to see my best friend and his family, and made the usual trip to Auto Italia at Brooklands.
Now the trip on Friday started out quite well, and I was making my leisurely way down the A5, and was starting to wonder if the weather was going to improve, as it was misty, murky, and generally overcast – and didn’t improve the further south I went!
For once, I didn’t manage to get lost, and arrived at my friend’s house, in time to see the Royal Wedding. Bugger. I was planning on avoiding it, but there was no way I could politely get out of it… but in a way, it wasn’t as bad as thought it would be, as it gave me a chance to sit and relax…
My friend arrived, and joined in the commentary with not so subtle comments about the camera angles from the BBC coverage, not to mention the dust that was very apparent of the tops of the wooden decorations on the choir area… Ah – the magic of television!
The rest of the day went quietly, with jokes being told, and plans for the following day being sorted – including lunch (we were taking a cool bag to Brooklands – past experience had taught the pair of us to take food & drink with us!)
The evening, after dinner, we sat watching the documentary Mega Factories (it had been on the National Geographic channel.) This time, it was on the Jack Daniels factory. Now, as it happens, I was given a bottle of Gentleman Jack. Now I am the first one to admit that I am not a great Bourbon fan… In fact, I normally avoid the stuff like the plague – but only because I had no inclination to try it…
However, having seen the program on the Jack Daniels factory, I found myself thinking about this bottle, and decided that it best thing to do would be to take the bottle with me, and crack it open with someone I could share a laugh and a drink with…
So, me being me, cracked the bottle open and shared it with my friend, who was a real sweetie, and showed me the difference between Gentleman Jack and the more “common” (for want of a better term – no offence intended!) Old No. 7. I have to admit that Gentleman Jack is a heck of a lot smoother, sweeter and smokier tasting…
However, there was a sting in the tail for me. I had the worst night’s sleep I have had for ages – and I would swear blind that it was the JD that did me in. So, it taught me one thing – don’t drink the stuff before I go to bed!
The following morning, I was squeaking like I was on helium again. No – not a chest infection this time – it was my hay fever that had gotten to my vocal cords. Aside from giving me nightmares, the JD had helped me to forget to take my Q-var inhaler (the brown preventer), so my immune system decided to go into overdrive…
Needless to say this caused much hilarity for my friend, but I took the ribbing good naturedly, as I knew that it wasn’t meant maliciously…
Brooklands itself has really changed since the last time I was down there – and in some ways, I’m sorry to say that it is to the detriment of the Auto Italia show. The cars were quite spectacular as normal (including the Ferrari Enzo) but there were not the normal range of cars… It seemed that the Lamborghini contingent was an awful lot smaller than normal, and that the Ferrari 430 Scuderia was rather too common for my liking, and there were no Pagani Zondas or Bugattis of any flavour – let alone the Veyron.
The test hill was only run the once, but that was well worth it, as some of the cars nearly didn’t make it up (mainly the small Fiats – things like the Cinquecento) but there were a couple of cars that were rather special going up the hill – including the Lamborghini & Ferrari safety cars…
After we’d watched the cars blasting (or not blasting) their merry way up the test hill, we had a walk around some of the cars that were organised into their respective car clubs… The one that did make me smile was a green Fiat campervan with a sticker on the rear screen that read:
Scrap that refuses to die
It really made me smile, and reminded me of the sticker that I’d had on my Toyota Yaris:
Not available from Toys ‘R’ Us
We finally left Brooklands at 16:50 (ish) and once we were on the grassy area where the car was parked, I freely admit to taking my shoes off, so that I could walk barefoot. Not because my feet hurt – far from it – they were too damned hot in my shoes!
We stopped off at the Marquis of Granby pub on the way home (no idea whereabouts – that’s one of the problems with not being local area) and had a drink in the gardens – well away from the smokers.
My friend seemed to be doing his best to cheer me up, as I have to admit that I was feeling somewhat flat…
Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life's mystery seems so faded
Runaway Train – Soul Asylum
I explained what was happening (or not happening) with the cardio appointment, and I have to admit that I was really quite scared, because I thought that he would go loopy because I’d not mentioned it to him…
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain
Runaway Train – Soul Asylum
Thankfully, I will admit to severely underestimating him. He was a real angel, and told me that he would be there for me, and all I had to do was pick the ‘phone up to him, and he would move heaven and earth to get to me. I don’t know what I would do without his friendship, and it’s really reassuring to know that there is someone out there who is willing to provide that sort of support to me.
Now that the world isn't ending
It's love that I'm sending to you
Isn't the love of a hero
And that's why I fear it won't do
Hero – Chad Koeger
We headed for home, but the trouble was, I was too damned tired to do the chilli justice, and freely admit to sparking out cold on the sofa (and snoring according to my friend!)
Sunday was a more relaxed day, and we went to the Aces High gallery in Wendover, in the morning. That place is becoming lethal to me, as I bought another print – this one of the Vulcan...
The afternoon was spent dribbling over some beautiful classic cars (even if I did think that a couple of the cars should have been excluded – one of them being a Jaguar XJS – the only thing that could have been called was scrap!)
Now onto today. I knew that I was heading for home, and I would be going to see my god-daughter, Amber. I also knew that Amber was less than impressed with me, because I’d been to Auto Italia, and not taken her (the kid is Tifosi – she almost bleeds scarlet and gold!). I arrived at her home, and she was standing in the front door, with a face like a major thunderstorm, and I knew that I was in real trouble with her…
Or at least I was until I burst into tears. It wasn’t intentional – far from it. it was a combination of stress over her reaction, and me being worried about my forthcoming hospital stay. Ok – I don’t know the date of it just yet, but it was (and still is) preying on my mind.
Amber was such a sweetie – she ran over to me, and flung her arms around me, and kept wiping the tears away with her handkerchief, telling me that I was going to be ok – she would thump anyone who hurt me! I mean, what can you say when your goddaughter says that to you?
I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone!
Boulevard of Broken Dreams – Green Day
So, as I type this, I am emotionally drained, and far form ready to go into the playpen tomorrow, but I guess that I had better call this quits, so that I can try and get some sleep tonight.
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Best Laugh Today
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Occasionally, I get a real gem of an e-mail, and this is one of them.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
************************************************************************
It can be hard keeping a straight face as a court reporter..
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No , I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do..
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes , voodoo.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
************************************************************************
It can be hard keeping a straight face as a court reporter..
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No , I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do..
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes , voodoo.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Things that make you go “Smeg”
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
The car service for one. My 207 has had its 40,000 service, and it flagged a couple of issues… One of them being that the rear exhaust bracket (it’s corroded) and the other being a temperature senor that was leaking.
Now I know that the car has thrown its toys out of the pram a few weeks ago, when it threw the gearbox error at me… It turns out that this sensor could have been the reason for the snatchy gear changes when the little monster was cold. So, Arbury have sorted the sensor, and all I have to do is go and collect the little monster (without getting nabbed by the sales team, who seem to be desperate for the monster!)
Ah well, time to log off and go and collect the beastie…
Back when I get chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Now I know that the car has thrown its toys out of the pram a few weeks ago, when it threw the gearbox error at me… It turns out that this sensor could have been the reason for the snatchy gear changes when the little monster was cold. So, Arbury have sorted the sensor, and all I have to do is go and collect the little monster (without getting nabbed by the sales team, who seem to be desperate for the monster!)
Ah well, time to log off and go and collect the beastie…
Back when I get chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
That’s what’s been happening just recently. If things can go wrong, they have done. I had the car serviced – ok – not an issue there – until I got a call from the garage to say that there was a problem, and a couple of advisories….
Now I hate it when I get that sort of call. It turned out that the problem was a blasted sensor on the cooling system that had decided to start leaking. Ok – not a major leak – but it was one of those little nasties that could develop into a major problem – and it would be just my luck for it to go when I was on the motorway.
The advisory was to say that the offside front tyre had 3.5mm left on the tread (the UK legal limit is 1.6mm) and that the back box on the exhaust pipe is showing signs of corrosion.
So, the sensor was replaced, and the car seems to be running ok. Thankfully, it looks like this sensor problem has sorted out the gearbox issue (but I still keep the little monster in full auto mode until it’s got some heat into the engine!)
The tyres can wait until I can get the tyres that I want, as I know what suits both the car and me, but the back box I’ll ask for a second opinion , as I don’t want to rush off out and spend money needlessly on the car…
Ah well, time to call it quits – I’ve got stuff to sort out before I pick the car up.
Back later…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Now I hate it when I get that sort of call. It turned out that the problem was a blasted sensor on the cooling system that had decided to start leaking. Ok – not a major leak – but it was one of those little nasties that could develop into a major problem – and it would be just my luck for it to go when I was on the motorway.
The advisory was to say that the offside front tyre had 3.5mm left on the tread (the UK legal limit is 1.6mm) and that the back box on the exhaust pipe is showing signs of corrosion.
So, the sensor was replaced, and the car seems to be running ok. Thankfully, it looks like this sensor problem has sorted out the gearbox issue (but I still keep the little monster in full auto mode until it’s got some heat into the engine!)
The tyres can wait until I can get the tyres that I want, as I know what suits both the car and me, but the back box I’ll ask for a second opinion , as I don’t want to rush off out and spend money needlessly on the car…
Ah well, time to call it quits – I’ve got stuff to sort out before I pick the car up.
Back later…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
The rights and wrongs of digital books
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Most people who know me, know that I am a real bookworm, and have been wrestling with the idea of getting one of the e-readers that is currently on the market. So, I was interested to read this article on the BBC website. I'll post it in full (and provide the link as normal) then put my thoughts at the end.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
********************************************
Reading on screen has to get more like reading a book, says Bill Thompson
The recent rapid growth of the market for electronic editions of contemporary fiction, with some titles selling more in digital marketplaces than they do in printed form, seems unlikely to tail off. The latter part of 2010 may mark the point from which future historians date the transition to screen-based reading for literary fiction as well as reference works.
Amazon recently announced that during September it sold more Kindle books than print books for the top ten, hundred and even thousand bestselling books on its US website, and other retailers will no doubt see the same as Christmas approaches.
Page turner
Everyone involved in the book trade, as we will probably continue to call it for some years, is trying to decide how to respond to this change and anticipate the imminent arrival of the sort of creative destruction that has swept through the music industry, but few seem to have many good ideas.
Independent publishers like Faber & Faber and Canongate, both of whom I spend time talking to about the impact of digital publishing (though not for money), are trying hard to remain relevant, and initiatives like the new electronic publishing service, Faber Factory, are a sign that they understand the changing market.
However, even they are not yet willing to accept that the price of electronic texts is too high, and that readers will not pay the same for a bunch of bits as they will for a bound book, since the market knows that it costs less to send electrons over a network than it does to buy paper, make books out of it and ship the physical objects around the world.
They also seem unprepared for the fundamental shift in the whole basis of their business that digital distribution brings about.
Something important happens when the text of a book is peeled away from the physical book, exposing the important distinction between the law as it applies to property and copyright law, and this has significant implications for how publishers make money - or even whether they will do so at all.
When you buy a book you take ownership of the wood pulp, ink and glue that makes up the object, and anyone taking it away from you without permission is stealing. But you do not own, and never have owned, the copyright.
If the author is still alive or died fewer than 70 years ago then that list of words and punctuation, in that precise order, may be protected in various ways, limiting your ability to reproduce some or all of the list.
When you buy an digital copy to read on your e-book reader, phone or laptop all you get is the copyrighted bit, and what you pay for is a licence to have a copy or copies of the text.
You don't "own" an object - all you have is an agreement, and the things you can do with it are limited both by copyright law and by the terms of the legal licence agreement you enter into when you make your purchase.
Kindle and iPad users are acutely aware of this, because the digital rights management system used to limit copying of purchased e-books makes it impossible to share one with a friend in the way that we are all accustomed to do with physical books, while the licence makes it impossible to sell our second-hand e-books to others and defray the cost of new purchases.
Lending list
Amazon recently announced that it will let Kindle owners "lend" books, but only for two weeks and only once per title. It clearly expects to get a lot of positive publicity for following the approach of other e-book readers like the Barnes and Noble "Nook", but all they have done is to highlight exactly what we are giving up as we move from buying books to licensing content for our digital devices.
Perhaps the worst thing about the new feature is that Amazon will give publishers a veto over sharing their titles. For a company with a reputation for pushing publishers into distribution deals that they find very difficult to work with, Amazon seems very wary of doing anything that might upset the rights holders.
When the new Kindle shipped with a feature that let it read texts aloud in a synthesised voice it only took a few angry huffs and puffs from the US Author's Guild before the facility was made optional, to be turned off at the behest of the publisher.
And now Amazon is careful to announce the publisher-friendly aspects of its new feature, highlighting the fact that when you pay your money for a Kindle edition you aren't buying a book, and you certainly aren't buying an e-book that is in any way equivalent to a printed codex.
I'd be happy with a system that let me transfer my purchases rather than sharing them - I don't expect my one download of a copy of the new Jonathan Frantzen to provide for the reading needs of my entire extended family at the same time, but lending my Kindle - or in this case my iPad - means lending every book (and every other app), which is not the same as just lending one book.
There is one bright spot in all this, though. Amazon's business model offers us the clearest possible demonstration that we should not allow the law to treat the products of creative expression in the same way as we do physical property.
The idea of "intellectual property" deliberately conflates the two and allows politicians to pretend that laws about physical property should extend to digital downloads. We need to challenge this unjustifiable elision if we are to think seriously about copyright and business models in the age of electronics.
Bill Thompson is an independent journalist and regular commentator on the BBC World Service programme Digital Planet. He is currently working with the BBC on its archive project.
*******************************************************************************
This article has hit the main argument against e-books (for me anyway) on the head. Plus, there is the practical side - you can drop your paperback into the swimming pool / bath, curse a little bit, and then wait for it to dry out. However, if you drop your e-reader into the water... Well you can kiss good bye to a pile of money.
Add into that, you cannot sit and read during take off and landing when flying (and you have to lug the charger and all the associated bits) then you get to the stage where for someone like me it's just not worth it at the moment.
So I guess that I'll just have to remain loyal to the paperback - until these issues are resolved.
Back when I get the chance...
K.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
********************************************
Reading on screen has to get more like reading a book, says Bill Thompson
The recent rapid growth of the market for electronic editions of contemporary fiction, with some titles selling more in digital marketplaces than they do in printed form, seems unlikely to tail off. The latter part of 2010 may mark the point from which future historians date the transition to screen-based reading for literary fiction as well as reference works.
 |
| Amazon's Kindle E-reader |
Page turner
Everyone involved in the book trade, as we will probably continue to call it for some years, is trying to decide how to respond to this change and anticipate the imminent arrival of the sort of creative destruction that has swept through the music industry, but few seem to have many good ideas.
Independent publishers like Faber & Faber and Canongate, both of whom I spend time talking to about the impact of digital publishing (though not for money), are trying hard to remain relevant, and initiatives like the new electronic publishing service, Faber Factory, are a sign that they understand the changing market.
However, even they are not yet willing to accept that the price of electronic texts is too high, and that readers will not pay the same for a bunch of bits as they will for a bound book, since the market knows that it costs less to send electrons over a network than it does to buy paper, make books out of it and ship the physical objects around the world.
We should not allow the law to treat the products of creative expression in the same way as we do physical property
Bill Thompson
They also seem unprepared for the fundamental shift in the whole basis of their business that digital distribution brings about.
Something important happens when the text of a book is peeled away from the physical book, exposing the important distinction between the law as it applies to property and copyright law, and this has significant implications for how publishers make money - or even whether they will do so at all.
When you buy a book you take ownership of the wood pulp, ink and glue that makes up the object, and anyone taking it away from you without permission is stealing. But you do not own, and never have owned, the copyright.
If the author is still alive or died fewer than 70 years ago then that list of words and punctuation, in that precise order, may be protected in various ways, limiting your ability to reproduce some or all of the list.
When you buy an digital copy to read on your e-book reader, phone or laptop all you get is the copyrighted bit, and what you pay for is a licence to have a copy or copies of the text.
You don't "own" an object - all you have is an agreement, and the things you can do with it are limited both by copyright law and by the terms of the legal licence agreement you enter into when you make your purchase.
Kindle and iPad users are acutely aware of this, because the digital rights management system used to limit copying of purchased e-books makes it impossible to share one with a friend in the way that we are all accustomed to do with physical books, while the licence makes it impossible to sell our second-hand e-books to others and defray the cost of new purchases.
Lending list
 |
| Limits on lending rights could hit libraries |
Perhaps the worst thing about the new feature is that Amazon will give publishers a veto over sharing their titles. For a company with a reputation for pushing publishers into distribution deals that they find very difficult to work with, Amazon seems very wary of doing anything that might upset the rights holders.
When the new Kindle shipped with a feature that let it read texts aloud in a synthesised voice it only took a few angry huffs and puffs from the US Author's Guild before the facility was made optional, to be turned off at the behest of the publisher.
And now Amazon is careful to announce the publisher-friendly aspects of its new feature, highlighting the fact that when you pay your money for a Kindle edition you aren't buying a book, and you certainly aren't buying an e-book that is in any way equivalent to a printed codex.
I'd be happy with a system that let me transfer my purchases rather than sharing them - I don't expect my one download of a copy of the new Jonathan Frantzen to provide for the reading needs of my entire extended family at the same time, but lending my Kindle - or in this case my iPad - means lending every book (and every other app), which is not the same as just lending one book.
There is one bright spot in all this, though. Amazon's business model offers us the clearest possible demonstration that we should not allow the law to treat the products of creative expression in the same way as we do physical property.
The idea of "intellectual property" deliberately conflates the two and allows politicians to pretend that laws about physical property should extend to digital downloads. We need to challenge this unjustifiable elision if we are to think seriously about copyright and business models in the age of electronics.
Bill Thompson is an independent journalist and regular commentator on the BBC World Service programme Digital Planet. He is currently working with the BBC on its archive project.
*******************************************************************************
This article has hit the main argument against e-books (for me anyway) on the head. Plus, there is the practical side - you can drop your paperback into the swimming pool / bath, curse a little bit, and then wait for it to dry out. However, if you drop your e-reader into the water... Well you can kiss good bye to a pile of money.
Add into that, you cannot sit and read during take off and landing when flying (and you have to lug the charger and all the associated bits) then you get to the stage where for someone like me it's just not worth it at the moment.
So I guess that I'll just have to remain loyal to the paperback - until these issues are resolved.
Back when I get the chance...
K.
Hitman on the Golf Course
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Occasionally, you get a real howler of a joke, and this is one of them. I make no apologies for posting it – it’s made me giggle on a day when not much else has been able to do so.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
************************************************************************
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Do you mind if I join you, my partner didn't turn up.'
'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?'
'I'm a hit man,' was the reply.
'You're joking!' was the response.
'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight... 'Here are my tools.'
'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.' So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window.' 'Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom... Ha Ha, I can see she's naked. WHOA! Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her, he's naked too!!!
He turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?'
'I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.'
'Can you do two for me right now?'
'Sure, what do you want?'
'First, shoot my wife; she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.'
'Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.'
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
'Are you going to do it or not?' said the golfer impatiently.
'Just be patient,' said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here.'
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
************************************************************************
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Do you mind if I join you, my partner didn't turn up.'
'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?'
'I'm a hit man,' was the reply.
'You're joking!' was the response.
'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight... 'Here are my tools.'
'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.' So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window.' 'Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom... Ha Ha, I can see she's naked. WHOA! Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her, he's naked too!!!
He turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?'
'I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.'
'Can you do two for me right now?'
'Sure, what do you want?'
'First, shoot my wife; she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.'
'Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.'
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
'Are you going to do it or not?' said the golfer impatiently.
'Just be patient,' said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here.'
Trying to find a horse…
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
As people may or may not know, I’ve been searching for a horse to replace my beloved Heart of Flame, and have struck out every time I thought I’d found “the one”.
Again, it looks like fate has turned away from me again, as I thought I’d found the perfect horse. He’s a Lusitano, and is as gentle as a lamb. However, when I went for a ride, it felt like he was pulling to one side. The best way to describe this, is to imagine a car with tracking problems – it pulls to one side. Well, that was how this horse felt.
So, as it stands at the moment, I am waiting for an independent report on the horse, as the last thing that I need to do is buy him, and discover that I have more vets bills than my damned insurance will cover.
Needless to say, I am on the verge of giving up, as this search has caused nothing but heartache for me, but part of me is whispering “keep the faith – you’ll find one” – especially as I have really missed being able to go for an early morning ride.
Ah well, time to call this quits – I need to get some sleep.
Back when I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Again, it looks like fate has turned away from me again, as I thought I’d found the perfect horse. He’s a Lusitano, and is as gentle as a lamb. However, when I went for a ride, it felt like he was pulling to one side. The best way to describe this, is to imagine a car with tracking problems – it pulls to one side. Well, that was how this horse felt.
So, as it stands at the moment, I am waiting for an independent report on the horse, as the last thing that I need to do is buy him, and discover that I have more vets bills than my damned insurance will cover.
Needless to say, I am on the verge of giving up, as this search has caused nothing but heartache for me, but part of me is whispering “keep the faith – you’ll find one” – especially as I have really missed being able to go for an early morning ride.
Ah well, time to call this quits – I need to get some sleep.
Back when I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
The formation with feeling
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
I make no apologies for posting this - as per normal it was sent to me by my American friends.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************
Look at this carefully........... It is brilliant, and another true example of British Humor!!
The British government scrapped the Harrier fleet and on their farewell formation flypast over the Houses of Parliament they gave the government a message............
Lean back a bit from your computer monitor and squint.
Seriously......................... push your chair back a couple of feet.
My hat off to the lad that was leading this bloody gaggle..................
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************
Look at this carefully........... It is brilliant, and another true example of British Humor!!
The British government scrapped the Harrier fleet and on their farewell formation flypast over the Houses of Parliament they gave the government a message............
Lean back a bit from your computer monitor and squint.
Seriously......................... push your chair back a couple of feet.
My hat off to the lad that was leading this bloody gaggle..................
Spider web fire risk prompts Mazda6 recall
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Some things you just can’t make up – and this is one of them.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
***************************************************************************
Japanese carmaker Mazda has announced it is recalling 65,000 cars in North and Central America because of concerns over spiders in the fuel system.
A Mazda spokesman said dealers had found 20 cases where webs of yellow sac spiders were found in a vent line.
The company said this could increase pressure in the fuel tank, leading to possible cracks and a risk of fire.
Dealers will check the cars for cracks, clean out any webs and install a spring in the line to keep out the spiders.
About 50,000 Mazda6 vehicles from the 2009-10 model years are being recalled in the United States, with another 15,000 in Canada, Mexico and Puerto Rico.
Mazda spokesman Jeremy Barnes said it was not clear why the yellow sac spider liked to build nests in the Mazda6.
"Perhaps yellow sac spiders like to go zoom-zoom?" he joked, referring to Mazda's advertising slogan for the car.
The company said it did not know of any accidents or fires caused by the spider webs.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
***************************************************************************
 |
A Mazda spokesman said dealers had found 20 cases where webs of yellow sac spiders were found in a vent line.
The company said this could increase pressure in the fuel tank, leading to possible cracks and a risk of fire.
Dealers will check the cars for cracks, clean out any webs and install a spring in the line to keep out the spiders.
About 50,000 Mazda6 vehicles from the 2009-10 model years are being recalled in the United States, with another 15,000 in Canada, Mexico and Puerto Rico.
Mazda spokesman Jeremy Barnes said it was not clear why the yellow sac spider liked to build nests in the Mazda6.
"Perhaps yellow sac spiders like to go zoom-zoom?" he joked, referring to Mazda's advertising slogan for the car.
The company said it did not know of any accidents or fires caused by the spider webs.
Vile hackers
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Not a happy person at the moment. A few months ago, a website that I use had been hacked, and card details were taken. Ok – not an issue, as the company concerned notified everyone, and I thought I was safe. Just how wrong can you damned well be.
I got a call from the bank, and as I was on a call at the time, I hit “reject” on my phone, meaning that it would go through to my voicemail. It did, and I got the message that everyone dreads…
“This is a message for Karen – you’ll hear an automated message after a few seconds of music. {Music} Please call ABC bank on {tel. number} reference code xxx”
Smeg. So I tore out of the office like the back of my trousers were on fire to call the bank. And yep. My card had been hit. The vermin had tried to use it to credit an Xbox live account, and as luck would have it, I’d already told the bank that I don’t have an Xbox, and if they saw anything like that, then it was certainly suspect.
So the bank has now cancelled my card, and I now have to wait until this time next week for a replacement to be sent. Needless to say, I am not a happy person, but in all honesty I am glad that the bank picked the issue up.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I’ve got a home to go to.
Back when I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
I got a call from the bank, and as I was on a call at the time, I hit “reject” on my phone, meaning that it would go through to my voicemail. It did, and I got the message that everyone dreads…
“This is a message for Karen – you’ll hear an automated message after a few seconds of music. {Music} Please call ABC bank on {tel. number} reference code xxx”
Smeg. So I tore out of the office like the back of my trousers were on fire to call the bank. And yep. My card had been hit. The vermin had tried to use it to credit an Xbox live account, and as luck would have it, I’d already told the bank that I don’t have an Xbox, and if they saw anything like that, then it was certainly suspect.
So the bank has now cancelled my card, and I now have to wait until this time next week for a replacement to be sent. Needless to say, I am not a happy person, but in all honesty I am glad that the bank picked the issue up.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I’ve got a home to go to.
Back when I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Lol Cats Strike Again!
Posted by
Karen
It's a slow day, so web surfing has been one of the few things that has kept me sane...
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
**************************************************************************
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
**************************************************************************
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
More from Lol Cats...
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
It's the company propaganda meeting today (I mean conference) and as I went last year, I've refused to go this year. So, that's meant that I have time on my hands to go web surfing, and it's amazing what you can find. These pictures (and captions) all come from the Lol Cats' website.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*******************************************************************
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
![funny pictures-... and I'm not coming down again until that "bath" thing is banished from my house.](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_vCGmIadF0c9q4E_jQZNO06oPOH4D3qTXps2xnPLpEtH3ImU5ncQeghT7_qrNfiJOOQiqdp_XmYtgFIBNi-DyqDSuCsJXw-FSJYWJsq8wP5UHcFIKWBCUUirXYInBFGN_b6sqTyNxw1duw_Ay-j9bO5oE8EQ3zZNPaKb25vFXryGxE=s0-d "funny pictures ... and I'm not coming down again until that "bath" thing is banished from my house.")
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*******************************************************************
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
An enjoyable day off
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Well, I finally managed to get a day to myself, and go shopping with Carol. We opted to go to Milton Keynes, because the weather was grotty (we had originally planned to go to Leicester, but neither of us fancied getting cold & wet!)
We got parked in the multi-story car park (the location of the damned thing seems to be a state secret, as there are NO signs to tell you where the damned thing is), and I refused to pay the extortionate rate the city council want to charge for the privilege of parking close to the centre, or walk miles to get into the main shopping area.
The first stop was Boots, as I wanted to get a new hairdryer that I could take away with me when I travel in the UK. Ok – not a problem there, in theory, as I was after a travel dryer and had seen one on the website that would have done the job perfectly, without costing silly money.
Then, it was on to the clothes shopping. Both Carol and I were looking for a new top, and I was the one that struck gold. I got a top that I had been eyeing up far ages in the sale. It was marked down from its full price of £35.00 to £17.50!
To say I was pleased was an understatement, and Carol also managed to get the top that she had been looking for – a denim shirt:
It was then time to head for our normal coffee stop – Costa Coffee, which just happens to be in my favourite bookshop – Waterstones. That book shop is one of the few places where I can usually find at least one book that I am interested in, and true to form, I managed to get three for two. They were:
Then it was off for a coffee, and a chat, whilst we planned our next move –which turned out to be a trip to Lush, as the pair of us were after their new limited edition shower gel, called It’s Raining Men.
Now this little treat is part of the limited edition Valentine range, and in my opinion, smells better on the skin than in the bottle. It’s supposed to have the same scent as Honey I Washed The Kids soap, and I have to admit that I am not really bothered about the soap scent, yet this shower gel is one that has hooked me.
I also got a pot of my favourite shampoo – Big. This sounds revolting, as it contains quite a lot of sea salt, but it does wonders for my hair, as it gives it more volume than any other volumising shampoo that I have come across. And it smells really good as well – it reminds me of a citrus margarita.
Carol also got a couple of bits, and we then started to wander back towards the car. As we walked, Carol asked me it I had ever fancied going for a pedicure. Now I am the first to admit that my feet in the winter don’t get very much attention, and I have tremendous amounts of hard skin on my heels and the balls of my feet. She said that she’d been reading about this company, called Feet Therapy.
Now I had sort of heard of this company, as I’d seen one of their “stores” when I was in York, and hadn’t really paid much attention to it, other than noticing that the windows were running with condensation.
So we walked to the store, and were met by a really pleasant fella, and he explained what the process would be.
The first step, was to rinse our feet off, and get rid of any fluff and nasty chemicals that we had used on our feet. No chance of that, as I don’t tend to use anything on my feet in winter. I work on the principal that my feet are hidden in boots / shoes, so no-one gets to see them!
Then, it was into the tank with the fish. No – I'm not joking – you put your feet into a tank with fish in them. Not just any fish, but Garra Rufa fish, that really seem to enjoy munching on dead / dry / scaly skin.
It tickled at first, but as far as I was concerned, the water was warm, and that was good enough for me. I have to admit, it was an odd sensation, but at the end of the session, my feet felt really good – like I’d had a really good scrape at my feet with a pumice stone.
Then it was my turn to treat Carol. I wanted to get my eyebrows tidied up, and knew of a good store en-route to the car park that would do the job perfectly. Now I know that this can be a tad on the painful side (but the results are well worth it).
I admit that I was flinching, but poor Carol was almost being scraped off the ceiling! She did admit that it was worth the pain (albeit it somewhat grudgingly) and we then headed back to the car with the shopping, as I had no intention of carrying it with me anymore, as my hands were starting to complain at that point.
Then, it was off to go and get lunch. Now Milton Keynes has a variety of eating places, and most of them are a little too fancy for what we were after – what we wanted was something that wasn’t over the top (which ruled out places like Wagamama) and not somewhere that was particularly child friendly (which ruled out Burger King and McDonalds).
I then remembered that there was a JD Wetherspoons near by, and I know from past experience that the food in the group as a whole was pretty good, and this one was no exception.
We both opted for the Beer & Burger offer (only in my case it was a glass of Pepsi as I was driving – Carol also opted for a Pepsi, as she didn’t fancy a beer).
Then it was back into the centre, and heading to the car, as the pair of us were knackered, and heading home, the driving standard was not good – including the bloody fool in the 59 plate Saab that decided that he/she/it was not required to obey the 40mph speed limit, and then promptly started tail gaiting the poor sod in front of them I was only too glad to get rid of the idiot if I'm honest.
Ah well, time to call this quits – I’ve got mo be back in the playpen tomorrow…
Back tomorrow if I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
We got parked in the multi-story car park (the location of the damned thing seems to be a state secret, as there are NO signs to tell you where the damned thing is), and I refused to pay the extortionate rate the city council want to charge for the privilege of parking close to the centre, or walk miles to get into the main shopping area.
The first stop was Boots, as I wanted to get a new hairdryer that I could take away with me when I travel in the UK. Ok – not a problem there, in theory, as I was after a travel dryer and had seen one on the website that would have done the job perfectly, without costing silly money.
However, in practise, it was a non-starter. Simply because the dratted thing had sold out. Mind you, it was on offer, so I couldn’t really complain. But I did manage to get a dryer. It’s a BaByliss 2000w dryer, and is nice and lightweight, and didn’t cost silly money. The only drawback as such, is that it’s not a travel dryer, so it’s a little on the large side, but as it’s going to be travelling in the UK with me, that’s not really an issue.
Then, it was on to the clothes shopping. Both Carol and I were looking for a new top, and I was the one that struck gold. I got a top that I had been eyeing up far ages in the sale. It was marked down from its full price of £35.00 to £17.50!
To say I was pleased was an understatement, and Carol also managed to get the top that she had been looking for – a denim shirt:
It was then time to head for our normal coffee stop – Costa Coffee, which just happens to be in my favourite bookshop – Waterstones. That book shop is one of the few places where I can usually find at least one book that I am interested in, and true to form, I managed to get three for two. They were:
- The White Queen by Phillipa Gregory
- 1000 Years of Annoying the French by Stephen Clarke
- The Secret Crown by Chris Kuzneski
Then it was off for a coffee, and a chat, whilst we planned our next move –which turned out to be a trip to Lush, as the pair of us were after their new limited edition shower gel, called It’s Raining Men.
Now this little treat is part of the limited edition Valentine range, and in my opinion, smells better on the skin than in the bottle. It’s supposed to have the same scent as Honey I Washed The Kids soap, and I have to admit that I am not really bothered about the soap scent, yet this shower gel is one that has hooked me.
I also got a pot of my favourite shampoo – Big. This sounds revolting, as it contains quite a lot of sea salt, but it does wonders for my hair, as it gives it more volume than any other volumising shampoo that I have come across. And it smells really good as well – it reminds me of a citrus margarita.
Carol also got a couple of bits, and we then started to wander back towards the car. As we walked, Carol asked me it I had ever fancied going for a pedicure. Now I am the first to admit that my feet in the winter don’t get very much attention, and I have tremendous amounts of hard skin on my heels and the balls of my feet. She said that she’d been reading about this company, called Feet Therapy.
So we walked to the store, and were met by a really pleasant fella, and he explained what the process would be.
The first step, was to rinse our feet off, and get rid of any fluff and nasty chemicals that we had used on our feet. No chance of that, as I don’t tend to use anything on my feet in winter. I work on the principal that my feet are hidden in boots / shoes, so no-one gets to see them!
Then, it was into the tank with the fish. No – I'm not joking – you put your feet into a tank with fish in them. Not just any fish, but Garra Rufa fish, that really seem to enjoy munching on dead / dry / scaly skin.
It tickled at first, but as far as I was concerned, the water was warm, and that was good enough for me. I have to admit, it was an odd sensation, but at the end of the session, my feet felt really good – like I’d had a really good scrape at my feet with a pumice stone.
Then it was my turn to treat Carol. I wanted to get my eyebrows tidied up, and knew of a good store en-route to the car park that would do the job perfectly. Now I know that this can be a tad on the painful side (but the results are well worth it).
I admit that I was flinching, but poor Carol was almost being scraped off the ceiling! She did admit that it was worth the pain (albeit it somewhat grudgingly) and we then headed back to the car with the shopping, as I had no intention of carrying it with me anymore, as my hands were starting to complain at that point.
Then, it was off to go and get lunch. Now Milton Keynes has a variety of eating places, and most of them are a little too fancy for what we were after – what we wanted was something that wasn’t over the top (which ruled out places like Wagamama) and not somewhere that was particularly child friendly (which ruled out Burger King and McDonalds).
I then remembered that there was a JD Wetherspoons near by, and I know from past experience that the food in the group as a whole was pretty good, and this one was no exception.
We both opted for the Beer & Burger offer (only in my case it was a glass of Pepsi as I was driving – Carol also opted for a Pepsi, as she didn’t fancy a beer).
Then it was back into the centre, and heading to the car, as the pair of us were knackered, and heading home, the driving standard was not good – including the bloody fool in the 59 plate Saab that decided that he/she/it was not required to obey the 40mph speed limit, and then promptly started tail gaiting the poor sod in front of them I was only too glad to get rid of the idiot if I'm honest.
Ah well, time to call this quits – I’ve got mo be back in the playpen tomorrow…
Back tomorrow if I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Thought for the New Year....
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
TO MY DEAREST FRIENDS & FAMILY:
There were probably many, many times this year when I may have
Disturbed you,
Troubled you,
Pestered you,
Irritated you,
Bugged you,
Or got on your nerves....
So today I just wanted to tell you...........
Suck it up Cupcake!!!
'Cause there are NO CHANGES planned for 2011 !!!
There were probably many, many times this year when I may have
Disturbed you,
Troubled you,
Pestered you,
Irritated you,
Bugged you,
Or got on your nerves....
So today I just wanted to tell you...........
Suck it up Cupcake!!!
'Cause there are NO CHANGES planned for 2011 !!!
On the squeak.
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Yet again, I have been hit with the lurgy. A triple whammy this time, with a dose of ‘flu (ok – not too bad – I’d had the jab), a chest infection and my asthma deciding to go haywire.
The ‘flu and the chest infection haven’t really helped my asthma, and when I went to see the doctor on Friday morning, I was squeaking and wheezing like there was no tomorrow – so it was straight onto the antibiotics and steroid pills (enough to get Mum to duck if I started coughing) and plenty of rest and fluids.
Ok – that go me through until Monday, when I started having to rely really heavily on my blue inhaler, but it didn’t really seem to help. So, back to the doctor I duly go, only to be put on a nebuliser.
This looks like an oxygen mask, with a little pot underneath which seemed to have two colourless liquids mixed in, and was then placed over the nose and mouth, with the instructions to breathe normally.
Ok – so far so good. However, it reminded me of a compressor (guess it was in a way) and all I could see was a sort of vapour escaping from the two side vents. But there was one slight drawback – I had to take my glasses off so that I could read, as the mask was a little too big for me. But, beggars can’t be choosers, and I have to admit that it has helped (as has having a hot water bottle semi permanently attached!)
Now onto the other problem… The boiler has started to play up, meaning that there is little heating in the house (hence the hot water bottle) and British Gas (in their alleged infinite wisdom) decided that as the boiler was running after a fashion, that they would cancel the engineer’s visit that I had booked for Tuesday PM.
Now that was ok on Monday, as the solution that my beloved gave me on Sunday night (bleed the radiators of air bubbles) had seemed to work. But this boiler has proven over the years to be a temperamental little SOB, and has now decided to really play silly buggers. It looks like the air pressure switch is playing up, meaning that the burner won’t catch properly (ah, the joys of the trouble shooting guide in the boiler handbook.)
Now comes the real kick in the teeth. Because the blasted thing is 20 years old, it would be very difficult to get another service contract on it, despite the fact that it normally runs without any problems. So, as I type this, I am sitting at my computer cursing British Gas and wishing that we had insisted on the engineer coming out, whilst Mum is giving British Gas a real blasting on the ‘phone.
I doubt that it will do much good, but I can understand her frustration, as we cancelled the original appointment at the request of British Gas, as we did have heating of a sort. However, the minute we try and point out that one of our neighbours is having a routine service visit, we then get told that because it was booked several weeks ago, then that can’t be changed. Thanks for bloody nothing.
It makes me wonder what the smeg my family have paid out all this money to British Gas over the years for this damned service contract, when all the dopes at the call centre can do is suggest that we go and buy a dimplex heater from B & Q. congratulations – they’ve sold out, and we are snowed in, so even if we wanted to get one, we can’t get out.
Ah well, guess I should go and reheat the hot water bottle and find something to keep myself out of mischief…
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
The ‘flu and the chest infection haven’t really helped my asthma, and when I went to see the doctor on Friday morning, I was squeaking and wheezing like there was no tomorrow – so it was straight onto the antibiotics and steroid pills (enough to get Mum to duck if I started coughing) and plenty of rest and fluids.
Ok – that go me through until Monday, when I started having to rely really heavily on my blue inhaler, but it didn’t really seem to help. So, back to the doctor I duly go, only to be put on a nebuliser.
This looks like an oxygen mask, with a little pot underneath which seemed to have two colourless liquids mixed in, and was then placed over the nose and mouth, with the instructions to breathe normally.
Ok – so far so good. However, it reminded me of a compressor (guess it was in a way) and all I could see was a sort of vapour escaping from the two side vents. But there was one slight drawback – I had to take my glasses off so that I could read, as the mask was a little too big for me. But, beggars can’t be choosers, and I have to admit that it has helped (as has having a hot water bottle semi permanently attached!)
Now onto the other problem… The boiler has started to play up, meaning that there is little heating in the house (hence the hot water bottle) and British Gas (in their alleged infinite wisdom) decided that as the boiler was running after a fashion, that they would cancel the engineer’s visit that I had booked for Tuesday PM.
Now that was ok on Monday, as the solution that my beloved gave me on Sunday night (bleed the radiators of air bubbles) had seemed to work. But this boiler has proven over the years to be a temperamental little SOB, and has now decided to really play silly buggers. It looks like the air pressure switch is playing up, meaning that the burner won’t catch properly (ah, the joys of the trouble shooting guide in the boiler handbook.)
Now comes the real kick in the teeth. Because the blasted thing is 20 years old, it would be very difficult to get another service contract on it, despite the fact that it normally runs without any problems. So, as I type this, I am sitting at my computer cursing British Gas and wishing that we had insisted on the engineer coming out, whilst Mum is giving British Gas a real blasting on the ‘phone.
I doubt that it will do much good, but I can understand her frustration, as we cancelled the original appointment at the request of British Gas, as we did have heating of a sort. However, the minute we try and point out that one of our neighbours is having a routine service visit, we then get told that because it was booked several weeks ago, then that can’t be changed. Thanks for bloody nothing.
It makes me wonder what the smeg my family have paid out all this money to British Gas over the years for this damned service contract, when all the dopes at the call centre can do is suggest that we go and buy a dimplex heater from B & Q. congratulations – they’ve sold out, and we are snowed in, so even if we wanted to get one, we can’t get out.
Ah well, guess I should go and reheat the hot water bottle and find something to keep myself out of mischief…
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells… chaos all the way
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
I make no apologies for this entry – it was in today’s Daily Mail, and I have to admit it did make me giggle. All credit to Richard Littlejohn – mine is but to post.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*****************
There’s nothing like a good old singsong to raise the spirits up difficult times such as these. With that in mind, I thought I should update same classic holiday hits to reflect the widespread travel disruption which has caused so much mayhem over the past few days. I had hoped to include Chris Rea’s Driving home for Christmas, but due to adverse weather conditions at Scotch Corner on the A1 it has been delayed indefinitely. If you’re stuck on a train, or marooned at the airport, feel free to sing along.
Walking in a winter wonderland
The phones ring
No one’s listening
All the staff
Have gone missing
Check the website
You won’t get a flight
Stranded in the Heathrow hinterland.
Locked away
Are the gritters
Read about it
On Twitter
It’s nobody’s fault
We ran out of salt
Stranded in a Winter Blunderland.
Snowfall came
Without warning
You could blame
Global warming
But nobody cares
About the polar bears
When they’re stranded in a Winter Blunderland.
Jingle Bells
Stuck here in the snow
On the Hendon way
Nowhere else to go
It’s been like this all day.
Drivers sound their horns
Lorries flash their lights
It’s all a waste of time
We won’t get home tonight.
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Chaos all the way
What a drag it is to sit
In the Hendon way,
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
No one gives a toss
According to the radio,
They’ve just closed Brent cross.
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
He planned to come by reindeer
But Rudolph had a crash
Now his sleigh’s been grounded
By a cloud of volcanic ash.
So he plotted his route
He checked it twice
But he didn’t spot
That sheet of black ice.
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday
When the snowman brings the snow
How is he supposed to know
That the whole country will descend into disarray?
If you jump in your car
And try to get away
You’ll only spend your Christmas morning
In the slow lane of the M1 motorway
Well thank God it isn’t Christmas every day,
When the trains stop running
And the buses melt away
Well thank God it isn’t Christmas every day,
Just get the snow ploughs out for Christmas.
Let It Snow
Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But you don’t need to be that insightful,
In Winter, a halfwit should know
It’ll snow, it’ll snow.
The moment the clouds start spitting
It’s time to start gritting
Not behave like a headless chicken
It’s only snow, only snow, only snow
Do They Know It’s Christmas?
It’s Christmas time,
There’s no chance to get away
At Christmas time
You can always rely on BAA
In our world of chaos
Where nothing ever works
Throw another log on the fire and stay indoors
But say a prayer
For the unlucky ones
At Christmas time, they’ll be stuck for days at Terminal One,
There’s a world inside the airport
That’s just like a transit camp,
And the traffic isn’t flowing
Because they’ve closed the exit ramp
And the only food on offer
Is cold and three days old
Well tonight, thank God it’s them instead of you.
And it always snows in Ing-er-land at Christmas time
But every year the story is the same
The moment that it snows
They shut down all the roads
Do they care it’s Christmas time at all?
Freeze the world…
I’m Dreaming of A White Christmas
I’m dreading another White Christmas
Just like we’ve had the past three years,
When the snow is falling
The response is appalling
And your bets laid plans will end in tears.
I’m dreading another White Christmas,
Next year I’m going to Sandy Lane,
That’s weather permitting,
If they remember the gritting,
At Gatwick and de-ice the plane.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*****************
There’s nothing like a good old singsong to raise the spirits up difficult times such as these. With that in mind, I thought I should update same classic holiday hits to reflect the widespread travel disruption which has caused so much mayhem over the past few days. I had hoped to include Chris Rea’s Driving home for Christmas, but due to adverse weather conditions at Scotch Corner on the A1 it has been delayed indefinitely. If you’re stuck on a train, or marooned at the airport, feel free to sing along.
Walking in a winter wonderland
The phones ring
No one’s listening
All the staff
Have gone missing
Check the website
You won’t get a flight
Stranded in the Heathrow hinterland.
Locked away
Are the gritters
Read about it
On Twitter
It’s nobody’s fault
We ran out of salt
Stranded in a Winter Blunderland.
Snowfall came
Without warning
You could blame
Global warming
But nobody cares
About the polar bears
When they’re stranded in a Winter Blunderland.
Jingle Bells
Stuck here in the snow
On the Hendon way
Nowhere else to go
It’s been like this all day.
Drivers sound their horns
Lorries flash their lights
It’s all a waste of time
We won’t get home tonight.
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Chaos all the way
What a drag it is to sit
In the Hendon way,
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
No one gives a toss
According to the radio,
They’ve just closed Brent cross.
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
He planned to come by reindeer
But Rudolph had a crash
Now his sleigh’s been grounded
By a cloud of volcanic ash.
So he plotted his route
He checked it twice
But he didn’t spot
That sheet of black ice.
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday
When the snowman brings the snow
How is he supposed to know
That the whole country will descend into disarray?
If you jump in your car
And try to get away
You’ll only spend your Christmas morning
In the slow lane of the M1 motorway
Well thank God it isn’t Christmas every day,
When the trains stop running
And the buses melt away
Well thank God it isn’t Christmas every day,
Just get the snow ploughs out for Christmas.
Let It Snow
Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But you don’t need to be that insightful,
In Winter, a halfwit should know
It’ll snow, it’ll snow.
The moment the clouds start spitting
It’s time to start gritting
Not behave like a headless chicken
It’s only snow, only snow, only snow
Do They Know It’s Christmas?
It’s Christmas time,
There’s no chance to get away
At Christmas time
You can always rely on BAA
In our world of chaos
Where nothing ever works
Throw another log on the fire and stay indoors
But say a prayer
For the unlucky ones
At Christmas time, they’ll be stuck for days at Terminal One,
There’s a world inside the airport
That’s just like a transit camp,
And the traffic isn’t flowing
Because they’ve closed the exit ramp
And the only food on offer
Is cold and three days old
Well tonight, thank God it’s them instead of you.
And it always snows in Ing-er-land at Christmas time
But every year the story is the same
The moment that it snows
They shut down all the roads
Do they care it’s Christmas time at all?
Freeze the world…
I’m Dreaming of A White Christmas
I’m dreading another White Christmas
Just like we’ve had the past three years,
When the snow is falling
The response is appalling
And your bets laid plans will end in tears.
I’m dreading another White Christmas,
Next year I’m going to Sandy Lane,
That’s weather permitting,
If they remember the gritting,
At Gatwick and de-ice the plane.
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