Occasionally, I get a real gem of an e-mail, and this is one of them.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
************************************************************************
It can be hard keeping a straight face as a court reporter..
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No , I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do..
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes , voodoo.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Things that make you go “Smeg”
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
The car service for one. My 207 has had its 40,000 service, and it flagged a couple of issues… One of them being that the rear exhaust bracket (it’s corroded) and the other being a temperature senor that was leaking.
Now I know that the car has thrown its toys out of the pram a few weeks ago, when it threw the gearbox error at me… It turns out that this sensor could have been the reason for the snatchy gear changes when the little monster was cold. So, Arbury have sorted the sensor, and all I have to do is go and collect the little monster (without getting nabbed by the sales team, who seem to be desperate for the monster!)
Ah well, time to log off and go and collect the beastie…
Back when I get chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Now I know that the car has thrown its toys out of the pram a few weeks ago, when it threw the gearbox error at me… It turns out that this sensor could have been the reason for the snatchy gear changes when the little monster was cold. So, Arbury have sorted the sensor, and all I have to do is go and collect the little monster (without getting nabbed by the sales team, who seem to be desperate for the monster!)
Ah well, time to log off and go and collect the beastie…
Back when I get chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
That’s what’s been happening just recently. If things can go wrong, they have done. I had the car serviced – ok – not an issue there – until I got a call from the garage to say that there was a problem, and a couple of advisories….
Now I hate it when I get that sort of call. It turned out that the problem was a blasted sensor on the cooling system that had decided to start leaking. Ok – not a major leak – but it was one of those little nasties that could develop into a major problem – and it would be just my luck for it to go when I was on the motorway.
The advisory was to say that the offside front tyre had 3.5mm left on the tread (the UK legal limit is 1.6mm) and that the back box on the exhaust pipe is showing signs of corrosion.
So, the sensor was replaced, and the car seems to be running ok. Thankfully, it looks like this sensor problem has sorted out the gearbox issue (but I still keep the little monster in full auto mode until it’s got some heat into the engine!)
The tyres can wait until I can get the tyres that I want, as I know what suits both the car and me, but the back box I’ll ask for a second opinion , as I don’t want to rush off out and spend money needlessly on the car…
Ah well, time to call it quits – I’ve got stuff to sort out before I pick the car up.
Back later…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Now I hate it when I get that sort of call. It turned out that the problem was a blasted sensor on the cooling system that had decided to start leaking. Ok – not a major leak – but it was one of those little nasties that could develop into a major problem – and it would be just my luck for it to go when I was on the motorway.
The advisory was to say that the offside front tyre had 3.5mm left on the tread (the UK legal limit is 1.6mm) and that the back box on the exhaust pipe is showing signs of corrosion.
So, the sensor was replaced, and the car seems to be running ok. Thankfully, it looks like this sensor problem has sorted out the gearbox issue (but I still keep the little monster in full auto mode until it’s got some heat into the engine!)
The tyres can wait until I can get the tyres that I want, as I know what suits both the car and me, but the back box I’ll ask for a second opinion , as I don’t want to rush off out and spend money needlessly on the car…
Ah well, time to call it quits – I’ve got stuff to sort out before I pick the car up.
Back later…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
The rights and wrongs of digital books
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Most people who know me, know that I am a real bookworm, and have been wrestling with the idea of getting one of the e-readers that is currently on the market. So, I was interested to read this article on the BBC website. I'll post it in full (and provide the link as normal) then put my thoughts at the end.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
********************************************
Reading on screen has to get more like reading a book, says Bill Thompson
The recent rapid growth of the market for electronic editions of contemporary fiction, with some titles selling more in digital marketplaces than they do in printed form, seems unlikely to tail off. The latter part of 2010 may mark the point from which future historians date the transition to screen-based reading for literary fiction as well as reference works.
Amazon recently announced that during September it sold more Kindle books than print books for the top ten, hundred and even thousand bestselling books on its US website, and other retailers will no doubt see the same as Christmas approaches.
Page turner
Everyone involved in the book trade, as we will probably continue to call it for some years, is trying to decide how to respond to this change and anticipate the imminent arrival of the sort of creative destruction that has swept through the music industry, but few seem to have many good ideas.
Independent publishers like Faber & Faber and Canongate, both of whom I spend time talking to about the impact of digital publishing (though not for money), are trying hard to remain relevant, and initiatives like the new electronic publishing service, Faber Factory, are a sign that they understand the changing market.
However, even they are not yet willing to accept that the price of electronic texts is too high, and that readers will not pay the same for a bunch of bits as they will for a bound book, since the market knows that it costs less to send electrons over a network than it does to buy paper, make books out of it and ship the physical objects around the world.
They also seem unprepared for the fundamental shift in the whole basis of their business that digital distribution brings about.
Something important happens when the text of a book is peeled away from the physical book, exposing the important distinction between the law as it applies to property and copyright law, and this has significant implications for how publishers make money - or even whether they will do so at all.
When you buy a book you take ownership of the wood pulp, ink and glue that makes up the object, and anyone taking it away from you without permission is stealing. But you do not own, and never have owned, the copyright.
If the author is still alive or died fewer than 70 years ago then that list of words and punctuation, in that precise order, may be protected in various ways, limiting your ability to reproduce some or all of the list.
When you buy an digital copy to read on your e-book reader, phone or laptop all you get is the copyrighted bit, and what you pay for is a licence to have a copy or copies of the text.
You don't "own" an object - all you have is an agreement, and the things you can do with it are limited both by copyright law and by the terms of the legal licence agreement you enter into when you make your purchase.
Kindle and iPad users are acutely aware of this, because the digital rights management system used to limit copying of purchased e-books makes it impossible to share one with a friend in the way that we are all accustomed to do with physical books, while the licence makes it impossible to sell our second-hand e-books to others and defray the cost of new purchases.
Lending list
Amazon recently announced that it will let Kindle owners "lend" books, but only for two weeks and only once per title. It clearly expects to get a lot of positive publicity for following the approach of other e-book readers like the Barnes and Noble "Nook", but all they have done is to highlight exactly what we are giving up as we move from buying books to licensing content for our digital devices.
Perhaps the worst thing about the new feature is that Amazon will give publishers a veto over sharing their titles. For a company with a reputation for pushing publishers into distribution deals that they find very difficult to work with, Amazon seems very wary of doing anything that might upset the rights holders.
When the new Kindle shipped with a feature that let it read texts aloud in a synthesised voice it only took a few angry huffs and puffs from the US Author's Guild before the facility was made optional, to be turned off at the behest of the publisher.
And now Amazon is careful to announce the publisher-friendly aspects of its new feature, highlighting the fact that when you pay your money for a Kindle edition you aren't buying a book, and you certainly aren't buying an e-book that is in any way equivalent to a printed codex.
I'd be happy with a system that let me transfer my purchases rather than sharing them - I don't expect my one download of a copy of the new Jonathan Frantzen to provide for the reading needs of my entire extended family at the same time, but lending my Kindle - or in this case my iPad - means lending every book (and every other app), which is not the same as just lending one book.
There is one bright spot in all this, though. Amazon's business model offers us the clearest possible demonstration that we should not allow the law to treat the products of creative expression in the same way as we do physical property.
The idea of "intellectual property" deliberately conflates the two and allows politicians to pretend that laws about physical property should extend to digital downloads. We need to challenge this unjustifiable elision if we are to think seriously about copyright and business models in the age of electronics.
Bill Thompson is an independent journalist and regular commentator on the BBC World Service programme Digital Planet. He is currently working with the BBC on its archive project.
*******************************************************************************
This article has hit the main argument against e-books (for me anyway) on the head. Plus, there is the practical side - you can drop your paperback into the swimming pool / bath, curse a little bit, and then wait for it to dry out. However, if you drop your e-reader into the water... Well you can kiss good bye to a pile of money.
Add into that, you cannot sit and read during take off and landing when flying (and you have to lug the charger and all the associated bits) then you get to the stage where for someone like me it's just not worth it at the moment.
So I guess that I'll just have to remain loyal to the paperback - until these issues are resolved.
Back when I get the chance...
K.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
********************************************
Reading on screen has to get more like reading a book, says Bill Thompson
The recent rapid growth of the market for electronic editions of contemporary fiction, with some titles selling more in digital marketplaces than they do in printed form, seems unlikely to tail off. The latter part of 2010 may mark the point from which future historians date the transition to screen-based reading for literary fiction as well as reference works.
 |
| Amazon's Kindle E-reader |
Page turner
Everyone involved in the book trade, as we will probably continue to call it for some years, is trying to decide how to respond to this change and anticipate the imminent arrival of the sort of creative destruction that has swept through the music industry, but few seem to have many good ideas.
Independent publishers like Faber & Faber and Canongate, both of whom I spend time talking to about the impact of digital publishing (though not for money), are trying hard to remain relevant, and initiatives like the new electronic publishing service, Faber Factory, are a sign that they understand the changing market.
However, even they are not yet willing to accept that the price of electronic texts is too high, and that readers will not pay the same for a bunch of bits as they will for a bound book, since the market knows that it costs less to send electrons over a network than it does to buy paper, make books out of it and ship the physical objects around the world.
We should not allow the law to treat the products of creative expression in the same way as we do physical property
Bill Thompson
They also seem unprepared for the fundamental shift in the whole basis of their business that digital distribution brings about.
Something important happens when the text of a book is peeled away from the physical book, exposing the important distinction between the law as it applies to property and copyright law, and this has significant implications for how publishers make money - or even whether they will do so at all.
When you buy a book you take ownership of the wood pulp, ink and glue that makes up the object, and anyone taking it away from you without permission is stealing. But you do not own, and never have owned, the copyright.
If the author is still alive or died fewer than 70 years ago then that list of words and punctuation, in that precise order, may be protected in various ways, limiting your ability to reproduce some or all of the list.
When you buy an digital copy to read on your e-book reader, phone or laptop all you get is the copyrighted bit, and what you pay for is a licence to have a copy or copies of the text.
You don't "own" an object - all you have is an agreement, and the things you can do with it are limited both by copyright law and by the terms of the legal licence agreement you enter into when you make your purchase.
Kindle and iPad users are acutely aware of this, because the digital rights management system used to limit copying of purchased e-books makes it impossible to share one with a friend in the way that we are all accustomed to do with physical books, while the licence makes it impossible to sell our second-hand e-books to others and defray the cost of new purchases.
Lending list
 |
| Limits on lending rights could hit libraries |
Perhaps the worst thing about the new feature is that Amazon will give publishers a veto over sharing their titles. For a company with a reputation for pushing publishers into distribution deals that they find very difficult to work with, Amazon seems very wary of doing anything that might upset the rights holders.
When the new Kindle shipped with a feature that let it read texts aloud in a synthesised voice it only took a few angry huffs and puffs from the US Author's Guild before the facility was made optional, to be turned off at the behest of the publisher.
And now Amazon is careful to announce the publisher-friendly aspects of its new feature, highlighting the fact that when you pay your money for a Kindle edition you aren't buying a book, and you certainly aren't buying an e-book that is in any way equivalent to a printed codex.
I'd be happy with a system that let me transfer my purchases rather than sharing them - I don't expect my one download of a copy of the new Jonathan Frantzen to provide for the reading needs of my entire extended family at the same time, but lending my Kindle - or in this case my iPad - means lending every book (and every other app), which is not the same as just lending one book.
There is one bright spot in all this, though. Amazon's business model offers us the clearest possible demonstration that we should not allow the law to treat the products of creative expression in the same way as we do physical property.
The idea of "intellectual property" deliberately conflates the two and allows politicians to pretend that laws about physical property should extend to digital downloads. We need to challenge this unjustifiable elision if we are to think seriously about copyright and business models in the age of electronics.
Bill Thompson is an independent journalist and regular commentator on the BBC World Service programme Digital Planet. He is currently working with the BBC on its archive project.
*******************************************************************************
This article has hit the main argument against e-books (for me anyway) on the head. Plus, there is the practical side - you can drop your paperback into the swimming pool / bath, curse a little bit, and then wait for it to dry out. However, if you drop your e-reader into the water... Well you can kiss good bye to a pile of money.
Add into that, you cannot sit and read during take off and landing when flying (and you have to lug the charger and all the associated bits) then you get to the stage where for someone like me it's just not worth it at the moment.
So I guess that I'll just have to remain loyal to the paperback - until these issues are resolved.
Back when I get the chance...
K.
Hitman on the Golf Course
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Occasionally, you get a real howler of a joke, and this is one of them. I make no apologies for posting it – it’s made me giggle on a day when not much else has been able to do so.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
************************************************************************
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Do you mind if I join you, my partner didn't turn up.'
'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?'
'I'm a hit man,' was the reply.
'You're joking!' was the response.
'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight... 'Here are my tools.'
'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.' So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window.' 'Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom... Ha Ha, I can see she's naked. WHOA! Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her, he's naked too!!!
He turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?'
'I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.'
'Can you do two for me right now?'
'Sure, what do you want?'
'First, shoot my wife; she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.'
'Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.'
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
'Are you going to do it or not?' said the golfer impatiently.
'Just be patient,' said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here.'
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
************************************************************************
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Do you mind if I join you, my partner didn't turn up.'
'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?'
'I'm a hit man,' was the reply.
'You're joking!' was the response.
'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight... 'Here are my tools.'
'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.' So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.
'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window.' 'Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom... Ha Ha, I can see she's naked. WHOA! Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her, he's naked too!!!
He turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?'
'I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.'
'Can you do two for me right now?'
'Sure, what do you want?'
'First, shoot my wife; she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.'
'Then the neighbour, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.'
The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
'Are you going to do it or not?' said the golfer impatiently.
'Just be patient,' said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here.'
Trying to find a horse…
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
As people may or may not know, I’ve been searching for a horse to replace my beloved Heart of Flame, and have struck out every time I thought I’d found “the one”.
Again, it looks like fate has turned away from me again, as I thought I’d found the perfect horse. He’s a Lusitano, and is as gentle as a lamb. However, when I went for a ride, it felt like he was pulling to one side. The best way to describe this, is to imagine a car with tracking problems – it pulls to one side. Well, that was how this horse felt.
So, as it stands at the moment, I am waiting for an independent report on the horse, as the last thing that I need to do is buy him, and discover that I have more vets bills than my damned insurance will cover.
Needless to say, I am on the verge of giving up, as this search has caused nothing but heartache for me, but part of me is whispering “keep the faith – you’ll find one” – especially as I have really missed being able to go for an early morning ride.
Ah well, time to call this quits – I need to get some sleep.
Back when I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Again, it looks like fate has turned away from me again, as I thought I’d found the perfect horse. He’s a Lusitano, and is as gentle as a lamb. However, when I went for a ride, it felt like he was pulling to one side. The best way to describe this, is to imagine a car with tracking problems – it pulls to one side. Well, that was how this horse felt.
So, as it stands at the moment, I am waiting for an independent report on the horse, as the last thing that I need to do is buy him, and discover that I have more vets bills than my damned insurance will cover.
Needless to say, I am on the verge of giving up, as this search has caused nothing but heartache for me, but part of me is whispering “keep the faith – you’ll find one” – especially as I have really missed being able to go for an early morning ride.
Ah well, time to call this quits – I need to get some sleep.
Back when I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
The formation with feeling
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
I make no apologies for posting this - as per normal it was sent to me by my American friends.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************
Look at this carefully........... It is brilliant, and another true example of British Humor!!
The British government scrapped the Harrier fleet and on their farewell formation flypast over the Houses of Parliament they gave the government a message............
Lean back a bit from your computer monitor and squint.
Seriously......................... push your chair back a couple of feet.
My hat off to the lad that was leading this bloody gaggle..................
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************
Look at this carefully........... It is brilliant, and another true example of British Humor!!
The British government scrapped the Harrier fleet and on their farewell formation flypast over the Houses of Parliament they gave the government a message............
Lean back a bit from your computer monitor and squint.
Seriously......................... push your chair back a couple of feet.
My hat off to the lad that was leading this bloody gaggle..................
Spider web fire risk prompts Mazda6 recall
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Some things you just can’t make up – and this is one of them.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
***************************************************************************
Japanese carmaker Mazda has announced it is recalling 65,000 cars in North and Central America because of concerns over spiders in the fuel system.
A Mazda spokesman said dealers had found 20 cases where webs of yellow sac spiders were found in a vent line.
The company said this could increase pressure in the fuel tank, leading to possible cracks and a risk of fire.
Dealers will check the cars for cracks, clean out any webs and install a spring in the line to keep out the spiders.
About 50,000 Mazda6 vehicles from the 2009-10 model years are being recalled in the United States, with another 15,000 in Canada, Mexico and Puerto Rico.
Mazda spokesman Jeremy Barnes said it was not clear why the yellow sac spider liked to build nests in the Mazda6.
"Perhaps yellow sac spiders like to go zoom-zoom?" he joked, referring to Mazda's advertising slogan for the car.
The company said it did not know of any accidents or fires caused by the spider webs.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
***************************************************************************
 |
A Mazda spokesman said dealers had found 20 cases where webs of yellow sac spiders were found in a vent line.
The company said this could increase pressure in the fuel tank, leading to possible cracks and a risk of fire.
Dealers will check the cars for cracks, clean out any webs and install a spring in the line to keep out the spiders.
About 50,000 Mazda6 vehicles from the 2009-10 model years are being recalled in the United States, with another 15,000 in Canada, Mexico and Puerto Rico.
Mazda spokesman Jeremy Barnes said it was not clear why the yellow sac spider liked to build nests in the Mazda6.
"Perhaps yellow sac spiders like to go zoom-zoom?" he joked, referring to Mazda's advertising slogan for the car.
The company said it did not know of any accidents or fires caused by the spider webs.
Vile hackers
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Not a happy person at the moment. A few months ago, a website that I use had been hacked, and card details were taken. Ok – not an issue, as the company concerned notified everyone, and I thought I was safe. Just how wrong can you damned well be.
I got a call from the bank, and as I was on a call at the time, I hit “reject” on my phone, meaning that it would go through to my voicemail. It did, and I got the message that everyone dreads…
“This is a message for Karen – you’ll hear an automated message after a few seconds of music. {Music} Please call ABC bank on {tel. number} reference code xxx”
Smeg. So I tore out of the office like the back of my trousers were on fire to call the bank. And yep. My card had been hit. The vermin had tried to use it to credit an Xbox live account, and as luck would have it, I’d already told the bank that I don’t have an Xbox, and if they saw anything like that, then it was certainly suspect.
So the bank has now cancelled my card, and I now have to wait until this time next week for a replacement to be sent. Needless to say, I am not a happy person, but in all honesty I am glad that the bank picked the issue up.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I’ve got a home to go to.
Back when I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
I got a call from the bank, and as I was on a call at the time, I hit “reject” on my phone, meaning that it would go through to my voicemail. It did, and I got the message that everyone dreads…
“This is a message for Karen – you’ll hear an automated message after a few seconds of music. {Music} Please call ABC bank on {tel. number} reference code xxx”
Smeg. So I tore out of the office like the back of my trousers were on fire to call the bank. And yep. My card had been hit. The vermin had tried to use it to credit an Xbox live account, and as luck would have it, I’d already told the bank that I don’t have an Xbox, and if they saw anything like that, then it was certainly suspect.
So the bank has now cancelled my card, and I now have to wait until this time next week for a replacement to be sent. Needless to say, I am not a happy person, but in all honesty I am glad that the bank picked the issue up.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I’ve got a home to go to.
Back when I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Lol Cats Strike Again!
Posted by
Karen
It's a slow day, so web surfing has been one of the few things that has kept me sane...
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
**************************************************************************
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
**************************************************************************
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
More from Lol Cats...
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
It's the company propaganda meeting today (I mean conference) and as I went last year, I've refused to go this year. So, that's meant that I have time on my hands to go web surfing, and it's amazing what you can find. These pictures (and captions) all come from the Lol Cats' website.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*******************************************************************
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
![funny pictures-... and I'm not coming down again until that "bath" thing is banished from my house.](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_t-mcrY-D6xct8tJ3VmyWe0ffIZ6OT6NV66PTOb3rYJd_j1i6RW8Fhslegd6Q9rGCk1orJBQd8s-qq5TVt8N4IgNgvEWpWSuhEMHPpg2m7WFue50l6QxM7pyC8AnKnA7WTdpnheBb_kKz6YyNJaXQ3ovHx1JPFhwtd_G9LtEkjVHR8=s0-d "funny pictures ... and I'm not coming down again until that "bath" thing is banished from my house.")
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*******************************************************************
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
An enjoyable day off
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Well, I finally managed to get a day to myself, and go shopping with Carol. We opted to go to Milton Keynes, because the weather was grotty (we had originally planned to go to Leicester, but neither of us fancied getting cold & wet!)
We got parked in the multi-story car park (the location of the damned thing seems to be a state secret, as there are NO signs to tell you where the damned thing is), and I refused to pay the extortionate rate the city council want to charge for the privilege of parking close to the centre, or walk miles to get into the main shopping area.
The first stop was Boots, as I wanted to get a new hairdryer that I could take away with me when I travel in the UK. Ok – not a problem there, in theory, as I was after a travel dryer and had seen one on the website that would have done the job perfectly, without costing silly money.
Then, it was on to the clothes shopping. Both Carol and I were looking for a new top, and I was the one that struck gold. I got a top that I had been eyeing up far ages in the sale. It was marked down from its full price of £35.00 to £17.50!
To say I was pleased was an understatement, and Carol also managed to get the top that she had been looking for – a denim shirt:
It was then time to head for our normal coffee stop – Costa Coffee, which just happens to be in my favourite bookshop – Waterstones. That book shop is one of the few places where I can usually find at least one book that I am interested in, and true to form, I managed to get three for two. They were:
Then it was off for a coffee, and a chat, whilst we planned our next move –which turned out to be a trip to Lush, as the pair of us were after their new limited edition shower gel, called It’s Raining Men.
Now this little treat is part of the limited edition Valentine range, and in my opinion, smells better on the skin than in the bottle. It’s supposed to have the same scent as Honey I Washed The Kids soap, and I have to admit that I am not really bothered about the soap scent, yet this shower gel is one that has hooked me.
I also got a pot of my favourite shampoo – Big. This sounds revolting, as it contains quite a lot of sea salt, but it does wonders for my hair, as it gives it more volume than any other volumising shampoo that I have come across. And it smells really good as well – it reminds me of a citrus margarita.
Carol also got a couple of bits, and we then started to wander back towards the car. As we walked, Carol asked me it I had ever fancied going for a pedicure. Now I am the first to admit that my feet in the winter don’t get very much attention, and I have tremendous amounts of hard skin on my heels and the balls of my feet. She said that she’d been reading about this company, called Feet Therapy.
Now I had sort of heard of this company, as I’d seen one of their “stores” when I was in York, and hadn’t really paid much attention to it, other than noticing that the windows were running with condensation.
So we walked to the store, and were met by a really pleasant fella, and he explained what the process would be.
The first step, was to rinse our feet off, and get rid of any fluff and nasty chemicals that we had used on our feet. No chance of that, as I don’t tend to use anything on my feet in winter. I work on the principal that my feet are hidden in boots / shoes, so no-one gets to see them!
Then, it was into the tank with the fish. No – I'm not joking – you put your feet into a tank with fish in them. Not just any fish, but Garra Rufa fish, that really seem to enjoy munching on dead / dry / scaly skin.
It tickled at first, but as far as I was concerned, the water was warm, and that was good enough for me. I have to admit, it was an odd sensation, but at the end of the session, my feet felt really good – like I’d had a really good scrape at my feet with a pumice stone.
Then it was my turn to treat Carol. I wanted to get my eyebrows tidied up, and knew of a good store en-route to the car park that would do the job perfectly. Now I know that this can be a tad on the painful side (but the results are well worth it).
I admit that I was flinching, but poor Carol was almost being scraped off the ceiling! She did admit that it was worth the pain (albeit it somewhat grudgingly) and we then headed back to the car with the shopping, as I had no intention of carrying it with me anymore, as my hands were starting to complain at that point.
Then, it was off to go and get lunch. Now Milton Keynes has a variety of eating places, and most of them are a little too fancy for what we were after – what we wanted was something that wasn’t over the top (which ruled out places like Wagamama) and not somewhere that was particularly child friendly (which ruled out Burger King and McDonalds).
I then remembered that there was a JD Wetherspoons near by, and I know from past experience that the food in the group as a whole was pretty good, and this one was no exception.
We both opted for the Beer & Burger offer (only in my case it was a glass of Pepsi as I was driving – Carol also opted for a Pepsi, as she didn’t fancy a beer).
Then it was back into the centre, and heading to the car, as the pair of us were knackered, and heading home, the driving standard was not good – including the bloody fool in the 59 plate Saab that decided that he/she/it was not required to obey the 40mph speed limit, and then promptly started tail gaiting the poor sod in front of them I was only too glad to get rid of the idiot if I'm honest.
Ah well, time to call this quits – I’ve got mo be back in the playpen tomorrow…
Back tomorrow if I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
We got parked in the multi-story car park (the location of the damned thing seems to be a state secret, as there are NO signs to tell you where the damned thing is), and I refused to pay the extortionate rate the city council want to charge for the privilege of parking close to the centre, or walk miles to get into the main shopping area.
The first stop was Boots, as I wanted to get a new hairdryer that I could take away with me when I travel in the UK. Ok – not a problem there, in theory, as I was after a travel dryer and had seen one on the website that would have done the job perfectly, without costing silly money.
However, in practise, it was a non-starter. Simply because the dratted thing had sold out. Mind you, it was on offer, so I couldn’t really complain. But I did manage to get a dryer. It’s a BaByliss 2000w dryer, and is nice and lightweight, and didn’t cost silly money. The only drawback as such, is that it’s not a travel dryer, so it’s a little on the large side, but as it’s going to be travelling in the UK with me, that’s not really an issue.
Then, it was on to the clothes shopping. Both Carol and I were looking for a new top, and I was the one that struck gold. I got a top that I had been eyeing up far ages in the sale. It was marked down from its full price of £35.00 to £17.50!
To say I was pleased was an understatement, and Carol also managed to get the top that she had been looking for – a denim shirt:
It was then time to head for our normal coffee stop – Costa Coffee, which just happens to be in my favourite bookshop – Waterstones. That book shop is one of the few places where I can usually find at least one book that I am interested in, and true to form, I managed to get three for two. They were:
- The White Queen by Phillipa Gregory
- 1000 Years of Annoying the French by Stephen Clarke
- The Secret Crown by Chris Kuzneski
Then it was off for a coffee, and a chat, whilst we planned our next move –which turned out to be a trip to Lush, as the pair of us were after their new limited edition shower gel, called It’s Raining Men.
Now this little treat is part of the limited edition Valentine range, and in my opinion, smells better on the skin than in the bottle. It’s supposed to have the same scent as Honey I Washed The Kids soap, and I have to admit that I am not really bothered about the soap scent, yet this shower gel is one that has hooked me.
I also got a pot of my favourite shampoo – Big. This sounds revolting, as it contains quite a lot of sea salt, but it does wonders for my hair, as it gives it more volume than any other volumising shampoo that I have come across. And it smells really good as well – it reminds me of a citrus margarita.
Carol also got a couple of bits, and we then started to wander back towards the car. As we walked, Carol asked me it I had ever fancied going for a pedicure. Now I am the first to admit that my feet in the winter don’t get very much attention, and I have tremendous amounts of hard skin on my heels and the balls of my feet. She said that she’d been reading about this company, called Feet Therapy.
So we walked to the store, and were met by a really pleasant fella, and he explained what the process would be.
The first step, was to rinse our feet off, and get rid of any fluff and nasty chemicals that we had used on our feet. No chance of that, as I don’t tend to use anything on my feet in winter. I work on the principal that my feet are hidden in boots / shoes, so no-one gets to see them!
Then, it was into the tank with the fish. No – I'm not joking – you put your feet into a tank with fish in them. Not just any fish, but Garra Rufa fish, that really seem to enjoy munching on dead / dry / scaly skin.
It tickled at first, but as far as I was concerned, the water was warm, and that was good enough for me. I have to admit, it was an odd sensation, but at the end of the session, my feet felt really good – like I’d had a really good scrape at my feet with a pumice stone.
Then it was my turn to treat Carol. I wanted to get my eyebrows tidied up, and knew of a good store en-route to the car park that would do the job perfectly. Now I know that this can be a tad on the painful side (but the results are well worth it).
I admit that I was flinching, but poor Carol was almost being scraped off the ceiling! She did admit that it was worth the pain (albeit it somewhat grudgingly) and we then headed back to the car with the shopping, as I had no intention of carrying it with me anymore, as my hands were starting to complain at that point.
Then, it was off to go and get lunch. Now Milton Keynes has a variety of eating places, and most of them are a little too fancy for what we were after – what we wanted was something that wasn’t over the top (which ruled out places like Wagamama) and not somewhere that was particularly child friendly (which ruled out Burger King and McDonalds).
I then remembered that there was a JD Wetherspoons near by, and I know from past experience that the food in the group as a whole was pretty good, and this one was no exception.
We both opted for the Beer & Burger offer (only in my case it was a glass of Pepsi as I was driving – Carol also opted for a Pepsi, as she didn’t fancy a beer).
Then it was back into the centre, and heading to the car, as the pair of us were knackered, and heading home, the driving standard was not good – including the bloody fool in the 59 plate Saab that decided that he/she/it was not required to obey the 40mph speed limit, and then promptly started tail gaiting the poor sod in front of them I was only too glad to get rid of the idiot if I'm honest.
Ah well, time to call this quits – I’ve got mo be back in the playpen tomorrow…
Back tomorrow if I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Thought for the New Year....
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
TO MY DEAREST FRIENDS & FAMILY:
There were probably many, many times this year when I may have
Disturbed you,
Troubled you,
Pestered you,
Irritated you,
Bugged you,
Or got on your nerves....
So today I just wanted to tell you...........
Suck it up Cupcake!!!
'Cause there are NO CHANGES planned for 2011 !!!
There were probably many, many times this year when I may have
Disturbed you,
Troubled you,
Pestered you,
Irritated you,
Bugged you,
Or got on your nerves....
So today I just wanted to tell you...........
Suck it up Cupcake!!!
'Cause there are NO CHANGES planned for 2011 !!!
On the squeak.
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Yet again, I have been hit with the lurgy. A triple whammy this time, with a dose of ‘flu (ok – not too bad – I’d had the jab), a chest infection and my asthma deciding to go haywire.
The ‘flu and the chest infection haven’t really helped my asthma, and when I went to see the doctor on Friday morning, I was squeaking and wheezing like there was no tomorrow – so it was straight onto the antibiotics and steroid pills (enough to get Mum to duck if I started coughing) and plenty of rest and fluids.
Ok – that go me through until Monday, when I started having to rely really heavily on my blue inhaler, but it didn’t really seem to help. So, back to the doctor I duly go, only to be put on a nebuliser.
This looks like an oxygen mask, with a little pot underneath which seemed to have two colourless liquids mixed in, and was then placed over the nose and mouth, with the instructions to breathe normally.
Ok – so far so good. However, it reminded me of a compressor (guess it was in a way) and all I could see was a sort of vapour escaping from the two side vents. But there was one slight drawback – I had to take my glasses off so that I could read, as the mask was a little too big for me. But, beggars can’t be choosers, and I have to admit that it has helped (as has having a hot water bottle semi permanently attached!)
Now onto the other problem… The boiler has started to play up, meaning that there is little heating in the house (hence the hot water bottle) and British Gas (in their alleged infinite wisdom) decided that as the boiler was running after a fashion, that they would cancel the engineer’s visit that I had booked for Tuesday PM.
Now that was ok on Monday, as the solution that my beloved gave me on Sunday night (bleed the radiators of air bubbles) had seemed to work. But this boiler has proven over the years to be a temperamental little SOB, and has now decided to really play silly buggers. It looks like the air pressure switch is playing up, meaning that the burner won’t catch properly (ah, the joys of the trouble shooting guide in the boiler handbook.)
Now comes the real kick in the teeth. Because the blasted thing is 20 years old, it would be very difficult to get another service contract on it, despite the fact that it normally runs without any problems. So, as I type this, I am sitting at my computer cursing British Gas and wishing that we had insisted on the engineer coming out, whilst Mum is giving British Gas a real blasting on the ‘phone.
I doubt that it will do much good, but I can understand her frustration, as we cancelled the original appointment at the request of British Gas, as we did have heating of a sort. However, the minute we try and point out that one of our neighbours is having a routine service visit, we then get told that because it was booked several weeks ago, then that can’t be changed. Thanks for bloody nothing.
It makes me wonder what the smeg my family have paid out all this money to British Gas over the years for this damned service contract, when all the dopes at the call centre can do is suggest that we go and buy a dimplex heater from B & Q. congratulations – they’ve sold out, and we are snowed in, so even if we wanted to get one, we can’t get out.
Ah well, guess I should go and reheat the hot water bottle and find something to keep myself out of mischief…
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
The ‘flu and the chest infection haven’t really helped my asthma, and when I went to see the doctor on Friday morning, I was squeaking and wheezing like there was no tomorrow – so it was straight onto the antibiotics and steroid pills (enough to get Mum to duck if I started coughing) and plenty of rest and fluids.
Ok – that go me through until Monday, when I started having to rely really heavily on my blue inhaler, but it didn’t really seem to help. So, back to the doctor I duly go, only to be put on a nebuliser.
This looks like an oxygen mask, with a little pot underneath which seemed to have two colourless liquids mixed in, and was then placed over the nose and mouth, with the instructions to breathe normally.
Ok – so far so good. However, it reminded me of a compressor (guess it was in a way) and all I could see was a sort of vapour escaping from the two side vents. But there was one slight drawback – I had to take my glasses off so that I could read, as the mask was a little too big for me. But, beggars can’t be choosers, and I have to admit that it has helped (as has having a hot water bottle semi permanently attached!)
Now onto the other problem… The boiler has started to play up, meaning that there is little heating in the house (hence the hot water bottle) and British Gas (in their alleged infinite wisdom) decided that as the boiler was running after a fashion, that they would cancel the engineer’s visit that I had booked for Tuesday PM.
Now that was ok on Monday, as the solution that my beloved gave me on Sunday night (bleed the radiators of air bubbles) had seemed to work. But this boiler has proven over the years to be a temperamental little SOB, and has now decided to really play silly buggers. It looks like the air pressure switch is playing up, meaning that the burner won’t catch properly (ah, the joys of the trouble shooting guide in the boiler handbook.)
Now comes the real kick in the teeth. Because the blasted thing is 20 years old, it would be very difficult to get another service contract on it, despite the fact that it normally runs without any problems. So, as I type this, I am sitting at my computer cursing British Gas and wishing that we had insisted on the engineer coming out, whilst Mum is giving British Gas a real blasting on the ‘phone.
I doubt that it will do much good, but I can understand her frustration, as we cancelled the original appointment at the request of British Gas, as we did have heating of a sort. However, the minute we try and point out that one of our neighbours is having a routine service visit, we then get told that because it was booked several weeks ago, then that can’t be changed. Thanks for bloody nothing.
It makes me wonder what the smeg my family have paid out all this money to British Gas over the years for this damned service contract, when all the dopes at the call centre can do is suggest that we go and buy a dimplex heater from B & Q. congratulations – they’ve sold out, and we are snowed in, so even if we wanted to get one, we can’t get out.
Ah well, guess I should go and reheat the hot water bottle and find something to keep myself out of mischief…
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells… chaos all the way
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
I make no apologies for this entry – it was in today’s Daily Mail, and I have to admit it did make me giggle. All credit to Richard Littlejohn – mine is but to post.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*****************
There’s nothing like a good old singsong to raise the spirits up difficult times such as these. With that in mind, I thought I should update same classic holiday hits to reflect the widespread travel disruption which has caused so much mayhem over the past few days. I had hoped to include Chris Rea’s Driving home for Christmas, but due to adverse weather conditions at Scotch Corner on the A1 it has been delayed indefinitely. If you’re stuck on a train, or marooned at the airport, feel free to sing along.
Walking in a winter wonderland
The phones ring
No one’s listening
All the staff
Have gone missing
Check the website
You won’t get a flight
Stranded in the Heathrow hinterland.
Locked away
Are the gritters
Read about it
On Twitter
It’s nobody’s fault
We ran out of salt
Stranded in a Winter Blunderland.
Snowfall came
Without warning
You could blame
Global warming
But nobody cares
About the polar bears
When they’re stranded in a Winter Blunderland.
Jingle Bells
Stuck here in the snow
On the Hendon way
Nowhere else to go
It’s been like this all day.
Drivers sound their horns
Lorries flash their lights
It’s all a waste of time
We won’t get home tonight.
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Chaos all the way
What a drag it is to sit
In the Hendon way,
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
No one gives a toss
According to the radio,
They’ve just closed Brent cross.
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
He planned to come by reindeer
But Rudolph had a crash
Now his sleigh’s been grounded
By a cloud of volcanic ash.
So he plotted his route
He checked it twice
But he didn’t spot
That sheet of black ice.
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday
When the snowman brings the snow
How is he supposed to know
That the whole country will descend into disarray?
If you jump in your car
And try to get away
You’ll only spend your Christmas morning
In the slow lane of the M1 motorway
Well thank God it isn’t Christmas every day,
When the trains stop running
And the buses melt away
Well thank God it isn’t Christmas every day,
Just get the snow ploughs out for Christmas.
Let It Snow
Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But you don’t need to be that insightful,
In Winter, a halfwit should know
It’ll snow, it’ll snow.
The moment the clouds start spitting
It’s time to start gritting
Not behave like a headless chicken
It’s only snow, only snow, only snow
Do They Know It’s Christmas?
It’s Christmas time,
There’s no chance to get away
At Christmas time
You can always rely on BAA
In our world of chaos
Where nothing ever works
Throw another log on the fire and stay indoors
But say a prayer
For the unlucky ones
At Christmas time, they’ll be stuck for days at Terminal One,
There’s a world inside the airport
That’s just like a transit camp,
And the traffic isn’t flowing
Because they’ve closed the exit ramp
And the only food on offer
Is cold and three days old
Well tonight, thank God it’s them instead of you.
And it always snows in Ing-er-land at Christmas time
But every year the story is the same
The moment that it snows
They shut down all the roads
Do they care it’s Christmas time at all?
Freeze the world…
I’m Dreaming of A White Christmas
I’m dreading another White Christmas
Just like we’ve had the past three years,
When the snow is falling
The response is appalling
And your bets laid plans will end in tears.
I’m dreading another White Christmas,
Next year I’m going to Sandy Lane,
That’s weather permitting,
If they remember the gritting,
At Gatwick and de-ice the plane.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*****************
There’s nothing like a good old singsong to raise the spirits up difficult times such as these. With that in mind, I thought I should update same classic holiday hits to reflect the widespread travel disruption which has caused so much mayhem over the past few days. I had hoped to include Chris Rea’s Driving home for Christmas, but due to adverse weather conditions at Scotch Corner on the A1 it has been delayed indefinitely. If you’re stuck on a train, or marooned at the airport, feel free to sing along.
Walking in a winter wonderland
The phones ring
No one’s listening
All the staff
Have gone missing
Check the website
You won’t get a flight
Stranded in the Heathrow hinterland.
Locked away
Are the gritters
Read about it
On Twitter
It’s nobody’s fault
We ran out of salt
Stranded in a Winter Blunderland.
Snowfall came
Without warning
You could blame
Global warming
But nobody cares
About the polar bears
When they’re stranded in a Winter Blunderland.
Jingle Bells
Stuck here in the snow
On the Hendon way
Nowhere else to go
It’s been like this all day.
Drivers sound their horns
Lorries flash their lights
It’s all a waste of time
We won’t get home tonight.
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Chaos all the way
What a drag it is to sit
In the Hendon way,
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
No one gives a toss
According to the radio,
They’ve just closed Brent cross.
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
He planned to come by reindeer
But Rudolph had a crash
Now his sleigh’s been grounded
By a cloud of volcanic ash.
So he plotted his route
He checked it twice
But he didn’t spot
That sheet of black ice.
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
Santa Claus’s sled has broken down
I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday
When the snowman brings the snow
How is he supposed to know
That the whole country will descend into disarray?
If you jump in your car
And try to get away
You’ll only spend your Christmas morning
In the slow lane of the M1 motorway
Well thank God it isn’t Christmas every day,
When the trains stop running
And the buses melt away
Well thank God it isn’t Christmas every day,
Just get the snow ploughs out for Christmas.
Let It Snow
Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But you don’t need to be that insightful,
In Winter, a halfwit should know
It’ll snow, it’ll snow.
The moment the clouds start spitting
It’s time to start gritting
Not behave like a headless chicken
It’s only snow, only snow, only snow
Do They Know It’s Christmas?
It’s Christmas time,
There’s no chance to get away
At Christmas time
You can always rely on BAA
In our world of chaos
Where nothing ever works
Throw another log on the fire and stay indoors
But say a prayer
For the unlucky ones
At Christmas time, they’ll be stuck for days at Terminal One,
There’s a world inside the airport
That’s just like a transit camp,
And the traffic isn’t flowing
Because they’ve closed the exit ramp
And the only food on offer
Is cold and three days old
Well tonight, thank God it’s them instead of you.
And it always snows in Ing-er-land at Christmas time
But every year the story is the same
The moment that it snows
They shut down all the roads
Do they care it’s Christmas time at all?
Freeze the world…
I’m Dreaming of A White Christmas
I’m dreading another White Christmas
Just like we’ve had the past three years,
When the snow is falling
The response is appalling
And your bets laid plans will end in tears.
I’m dreading another White Christmas,
Next year I’m going to Sandy Lane,
That’s weather permitting,
If they remember the gritting,
At Gatwick and de-ice the plane.
Lol Cats
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
This is a website that I stumbled across, and decicded to have a look at..
All I will say is enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
**************************************************************************
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
All I will say is enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
**************************************************************************
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
More on Wiki Leaks...
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
This was a cartoon from a news web site that I stumbled across, and I thought it summed up the current hysteria really well...
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************************
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************************
Wikileaks...
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
This website has been in the news rather a lot just recently, because it's self-styled "editor-in-chief" Julian Assange, has taken it upon himself to publish confidential documents from the US government.
A lot of this stuff has been little more than private gossip from diplomats, and is of no real interest to people (apart from the people that the diplomats have been less than complimentary about) , but revealing things that could cause real problems for governments and military alike is not on.
Now I am all in favour of free speech - and will do my utmost to defend it (and freely admit that I applauded Wikileaks for the details that they released about the atrocities in Iraq) but things such as:
Fears that terrorists may acquire Pakistani nuclear material
Several Arab leaders urged attack on Iran over nuclear issue
US instructs spying on key UN officials
China's changing ties with North Korea
Yemen approved US strikes on militants
Personal and embarrassing comments on world leaders
Afghan leader Hamid Karzai freed dangerous detainees
Russia is a "virtual mafia state" with widespread corruption and bribery
Afghan President Hamid Karzai is "paranoid and weak"
The extent of corruption in Afghanistan
Chinese leadership 'hacked Google'
A list of key global facilities the US says are vital to its national security
should not have been released. I've just covered the very vague topics that the documents cover, as I really and truly do not believe that the should have been put up on the web for all to read. I wouldn't be surprised if the US government asked for this man to be extradited to the US to face possible terrorism and / or espionage charges.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits - it's nearly the end of my lunch break.
Back when I get the chance
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
A lot of this stuff has been little more than private gossip from diplomats, and is of no real interest to people (apart from the people that the diplomats have been less than complimentary about) , but revealing things that could cause real problems for governments and military alike is not on.
Now I am all in favour of free speech - and will do my utmost to defend it (and freely admit that I applauded Wikileaks for the details that they released about the atrocities in Iraq) but things such as:
should not have been released. I've just covered the very vague topics that the documents cover, as I really and truly do not believe that the should have been put up on the web for all to read. I wouldn't be surprised if the US government asked for this man to be extradited to the US to face possible terrorism and / or espionage charges.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits - it's nearly the end of my lunch break.
Back when I get the chance
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
World Cup? More like World fiasco.
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Well, the hype is over and England has failed in the bid to win the world cup. I'm not upset - far from it, as I dislike football, but what annoys me is the money that has been wasted on the bid.
Ok - I know that it would have been good for the country's economy, and raised the UK profile but it does make we wonder what FIFA were (or more to the point weren't) think about when they awarded the 2018 cup to Russia. I could understand the cup going to South Africa (vuvuzelas anyone?) as there hasn't been an African World Cup, but Russia? Sorry, that doesn't make sense to me.
I'm not saying that the England bid was perfect - far from it - but as far as I can tell, the infrastructure is already in place (and will have been improved further because of the 2012 Olympics in London) but all the reports are saying that Russia will have to do an awful lot of building to be able to cope with the influx of fans...
Add into that, it does make you wonder how much damge the BBC Panorama programme did to the bid. Yes - I agree that the allegations of corruption in FIFA need to be made public, but surely that Panorama programme could have been held over until the voting was over and done with, as it appears to have done quite a bit of damage to the bid.
Ah well, at least we have the Olympics (2012) and Rugby World Cup (2015) to look forward to..
Guess I should call this quits - I'm falling asleep at my PC again...
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Ok - I know that it would have been good for the country's economy, and raised the UK profile but it does make we wonder what FIFA were (or more to the point weren't) think about when they awarded the 2018 cup to Russia. I could understand the cup going to South Africa (vuvuzelas anyone?) as there hasn't been an African World Cup, but Russia? Sorry, that doesn't make sense to me.
I'm not saying that the England bid was perfect - far from it - but as far as I can tell, the infrastructure is already in place (and will have been improved further because of the 2012 Olympics in London) but all the reports are saying that Russia will have to do an awful lot of building to be able to cope with the influx of fans...
Add into that, it does make you wonder how much damge the BBC Panorama programme did to the bid. Yes - I agree that the allegations of corruption in FIFA need to be made public, but surely that Panorama programme could have been held over until the voting was over and done with, as it appears to have done quite a bit of damage to the bid.
Ah well, at least we have the Olympics (2012) and Rugby World Cup (2015) to look forward to..
Guess I should call this quits - I'm falling asleep at my PC again...
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Jokes to brighten a gloomy day...
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
It's a tad on the slow side, so my friends and colleagues have been sending me jokes to make me giggle.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
***********************************************************************
A farmer named Godfrey was overseeing his stock in a remote moorland pasture in North Yorkshire when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced towards him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Godfrey looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing stock and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASApage on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Godfrey.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the back of his car.
Then Godfrey says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Member of Parliament for our Government", says Godfrey.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required" answered the farmer. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a flock of sheep....
Now give me back my dog.
And:
Christmas Cake Recipe
Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my Tequila Christmas Cake
recipe so here goes:Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get
tired of typing this up every year!
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit
Sample the tequila to check quality Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality..
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the fruit up off the floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.
Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner
Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.
Cherry Christmas
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
***********************************************************************
A farmer named Godfrey was overseeing his stock in a remote moorland pasture in North Yorkshire when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced towards him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"
Godfrey looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing stock and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASApage on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Godfrey.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the back of his car.
Then Godfrey says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Member of Parliament for our Government", says Godfrey.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required" answered the farmer. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a flock of sheep....
Now give me back my dog.
And:
Christmas Cake Recipe
Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my Tequila Christmas Cake
recipe so here goes:Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get
tired of typing this up every year!
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit
Sample the tequila to check quality Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality..
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the fruit up off the floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.
Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner
Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.
Cherry Christmas
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
.JPG)
.jpg)
.JPG)
.jpg)
