Walking in the Shadows

Random musings from Warwickshire on life in general... Things that make me laugh, make me cry, things that wind me up beyond all endurance - and everything in between.

Being scared by nightmares

What am I doing, sitting at my computer at 6am on a Sunday morning? Easy. Shaking like a leaf, because I've just had another nightmare. Yes, it's the second one in less than 12 hours, and it's had exactly the same effect on me as normal - left me scared and unable to sleep in case I have another one.

It's even gotten to the stage where I've actually admitted to my beloved just how bad things are. He sent me a message at about 00:45 this morning, saying that he was sorry it was so late, but he just wanted me to know that he loved me. I was freaked out enough to reply that I really needed a cuddle (without elaborating on the reason why).

I didn't need to. My beloved called me, and that was it - I lost it. I was talking to him with tears running down my cheeks, and he must have realised I was seriously rattled, because he asked me what was wrong and said that I sounded wrecked. I was, and I told him that I'd been woken by another nightmare.

You see, for the past two months I've been having nightmares, but all I can remember is feeling terrified before I wake up, and nothing more. If there was something that I could say was causing it, I would be an awful lot happier (OK - happier in the knowledge that there might be some way to change my routine before I go to sleep), but I can't think of anything that bothers me that much.

Sure, work does get to me at times - I wouldn't be human (or the sort of person that I am) if it didn't. But I don't think this is work induced, so here I am at 06:03 trying to work out what the hell is wrong.

I'm going to call this quits now, and I'm going to head back to bed and see if I can get some sleep - you never know, typing this entry might have been the thing that helps me break this cycle...


Back later.

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time

Childrens' Science Exams

Sometimes, I get a real gem of an e-mail land in my in box, and this is one of them...

Enjoy.

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time



Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

(Brilliant, love this!)

A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon,because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean?

(I do love this one...)

A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Am I losing the plot?

Today is one of those days when I'm beginning to wonder if I'm losing my marbles. The reason? I've had to arrange to get some tyres collected, as they were delivered in error. What's causing me to think I'm losing my marbles?

It's been suggested that it was me that told someone how to release an order off the system! But the worst part for me, is the fact that I cannot recall ever doing such a thing and people are now starting to blame me for the error.

That would be acceptable with me, if I was the guilty party, but I am certain that I haven't told anyone how do do such a thing, and it's really getting to me.

It doesn't help with certain people having a "holier than thou" attitude, almost as if they never make a mistake. And, if I have the nerve to mention it, then this person gets on their high horse and spouts even more crap!

Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I'm starting to get a migraine and I really don't need the hassle today.

Back later, if the migrane doesn't develop.

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time

The History of the Middle Finger

Somethings are worth shareing - and this was one of them...

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time


Well, now... Here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.

This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew').

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!

Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'




IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing!

Catching the book bug....

Those rare people who know me, know that I am quite a keen reader, and I am only too pleased to share the book that I am reading at the moment. It's called Winning is not enough, and is Sir Jackie Stewart's autobiography.

I admit to having tried to read this book several times, but I never really seemed to settle with it... Until today. And I can't put it down!

It details his life, from his humble beginning as the youngest son of a garage owner in Dumbarton, to becoming one of the greats of motor racing. I've just finished the chapter where he described the horror of losing friends in various racing accidents, and the lengths that he and the GPDA (Grand Prix Drivers Association) went to to improve safety at the various circuits.

Reading the descriptions of the various accidents brought home to me just how much the current set of racers owe to people like him, as the last fatality on a race track was that horrible weekend in May 1994, when Roland Ratzenberger and the great Ayrton Senna were killed at Imola.

But this is not the only autobigraphy that I've read in the past week or so... I've also read Eric Clapton's autobiography.




This book really moved me, and again, was one that I found difficult to put down. It dealt with everything from his early childhood, through to his breakthrough with the Yardbirds, the formation of the world's first so-called super groups (Cream) and the subsequent development of his career.

The one bit that I did find hard to read was the description of the death of his son, Connor and the subsequent events. It made me realise that there is a lot more to his songs than just great guitar chords.

When I finish Winning is Not Enough, I'll do a full review, as I think it is a book that really merits a post of its own...

Guess I should call this quits - my lunchbreak is nearly over.

Back when I get chance.

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time

Feeling blue, but I don’t know why…

Ever had one of those days when you feel like bursting into tears for no apparent reason? Well, I’m having one today. Why I’m feeling like this, God only knows, but I wish that there was something I could do to make myself feel better – even if it’s only to identify what has caused this.

The only thing that I think that might have caused me to feel like this is the fact that I got a very poor night’s sleep last night, and as I get older, that tends to knock eight shades of a rainbow out of me, and does have this tendency to make me feel low.

Ah well, guess I should throw myself into my work, and try and bury this feeling, and hope that I manage to smother it that way, otherwise, I am truly stuffed!

Back later if I get chance…

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time

I won't back down...

Occasionally, you hear a song that sums up a mood, and this Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers song has done just that for me.... It's called I Won't Back Down

Well I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of Hell
But I won't back down

No I'll stand my ground, won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
Gonna stand my ground...
And I won't back down

(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(And I won't back down...)
Hey I will stand my ground
And I won't back down

Well I know what's right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin’ me around
But I'll stand my ground...
And I won't back down

(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(And I won't back down...)
Hey I will stand my ground
(I won't back down)
And I won't back down...

(I won't back down...)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey I won't back down
(And I won't back down)
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(And I won't back down)

Hey I will stand my ground
(And I won't back down)
And I won't back down
(I won't back down)
No I won't back down...

As this sums up my mood for today, I thought it was rather appropriate for the start of today's posting...

Guess I should think about doing some work, but I'm suffering from TNFI, and it's not even 09:00 yet...!

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time

Somethings always make me smile

And these Garfield cartoons are no exception:






Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time

Getting a haircut in a dying city

I went into Coventry on Saturday with Mum for a haircut, and as my appointment was 11:30, it meant that I had time to wander 'round the shops.

Fine in theory, but in practice, not really a good idea. The city seemed to be dying, and the city planners don't seem to be interested in reviving the heart. I know they have all these plans to revitalise things, but whether anything comes of it remains to be seen.

The main shopping centre (West Orchard) has quite a few empty shops, and moving away from there, things seem to be getting worse. There was a time when Hertford Street and Corporation Street were vibrant with shoppers, but not any more.

People seem to be reluctant to go into the city and it needs something to drag people back into the centre, and away from places like Banbury and Solihull. Primark has gone part way to helping bring people back, but there is still a distinct lack of appeal for most shoppers.

As for my haircut, well that was great fun. Because my hair was so long (I'd left it about 6 months before I got it cut, due to various reasons conspiring to delay me) I had the cut done first, followed by the colouring stage.

As I've gotten older, the grey has started to show through my hair, so Paul (my hairdresser) suggested a semi-permanent base, followed by the highlights. If it was anyone else who'd suggested this course, I would have been very sceptical but Paul has never tried to push me down a route that I would not have been happy with.

The results have been well worth the time that I spent, and am now a lot happier as my hair was driving me nuts (and it didn't help with my beloved calling me Fluffy.) But, I guess that comes with the territory...

Guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working...

Back later, I guess.

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time

Investing in a new car

As mentioned in my previous entry, I've bought myself a new car - the Peugeot 207 Sport. I will admit to having fallen for this car, when it first came out and my 206 was coming up for three years old, meaning MOT testing time, and the start of large servicing bills.

So, I decided to go and see what was floating about deal wise, and I will admit that I was quite taken with the deal that I was offered by by local Peugeot dealer, whom I had bought my 206 off. The deal was sealed with me being given a free paint / interior guard coating (it's supposed to keep the paintwork in good condition and keep the crap on the interior trim to a minimum).




That was fine, but I should have realised that things weren't going to go smoothly for me... Especially when I had to keep chasing to get a build date for the car! The date kept getting later and later, and I was starting to worry that I wasn't going to get the car by the end of October!

Somehow, I managed to get the date and the car arrived at the PDI centre in Corby. All well and good, until it came to the registration number... I'd been allocated a registration number, which I'd passed on to the insurance company, and I'd got all the paperwork to prove that the car was insured so that the dealership could get the car taxed and ready for me to collect.

The day before I was due to collect the car, I got a phone call at 16:30 from the salesman, to say that there had been a problem with the registration. The DVLA (in their infinite wisdom) had allocated my original registration number to another car. Which meant that my insurance paperwork was invalid, meaning no car tax, which meant I couldn't pick the car up.

To say I was unhappy was an understatement, but the salesman (Martin) was a real star. He gave me the telephone number for Peugeot insurance, and told me to take the 7 day option, just to get the car taxed, and then contact my own insurance company to advise of the registration change.

Both insurance companies were really helpful, and when I spoke to my own insurance company, I was advised that if the worst happened, then I was covered under them, as the excess on the Peugeot insurance was an awful lot more than mine!

So, I did manage to collect the car when I wanted to, and things appeared to run smoothly... Until I decided to overtake something on the way home. The overtake appeared to go smoothly, and I was quite happily rumbling home... Until the heating failed on the car. I started getting cold air blowing through into the passenger cabin, so I turned the temperature up - which made no difference.

By this point, I was starting to get worried, especially as the engine temperature was climbing rapidly... It turned out that I had a leak from somewhere in the engine, which meant that the coolant had been dumped out on the road, so I was not a happy person when I called the RAC.

The patrolman was a real gent, and towed me and the car home, as I said that I would arrange to get the car sorted in the morning. I called the dealership, and spoke to the service department, who advised me to call the AA and get the car relayed into them.

So, I called the AA, and the patrolman arrived, and found the problem! A clip on the main coolant hose had come undone, which allowed the coolant to escape. It looked like it had never been fastened properly, so could have come undone at any time. I was thanking my lucky stars that it hadn't happened at the weekend, as I was making a break for freedom with my beloved.

He connected the clip for me and filled the cooling system with water, which enabled me to drive the car very carefully to the dealership. Within 15 minutes of my arrival, the car was in the workshop getting sorted out, and the service manager was making profuse apologies, as was the salesman. It wasn't their fault - I was more unhappy with the fact that this clip had been missed by the PDI check.

So, the first month was somewhat eventful for me and the car... Which in true family fashion has been given a name. In this case, Ponto, as a tribute to the furry fiend.

Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working...

Back when I get chance...

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time

Mea culpea

OK, so I failed miserably to keep the blog going. Partly because things were getting hectic (both in my personal and professional life) and I suffered a severe case of TNFI (totally no ******g interest).

So, a brief summary - I've been back to Madeira (and am escaping in September again) and have been lucky enough to find someone who means the whole world to me, and more to the point, has allowed me to relax enough and drop my guard. I've also bought myself a new car - a Peugeot 207 Sport 120... More on that in a later post...

Aside from that, Mum has had a partial hip replacement, and is now walking much better than she has been (i.e. seven and a half years ago since the accident). As for me, as I've said, I'm seeing someone who makes me blissfully happy, and helps me see that there is more to life than the playpen that I call an office...

Playpen. A good term for the office, and for certain members of staff. Including the one that sits next to me. She's so blinkered about life, it's not true. She's also of the misguided opinion that F1 is the be-all and end-all of motor sport and wont' even contemplate any criticism of Lewis Hamilton.

Don't get me wrong, he's a good driver, but he's been lucky. He's had a good car (i.e. reliable) and a good backup team. But what annoys me is that she just won't accept ANY negative comments and throws a real paddy when you try and say otherwise.

As you can tell, I'm not exactly a member of her fan club, and there have been suggestions that I bury the hatchet with her. I would do so, but I'm afraid that it would be in the back of her skull.

Ah well, guess I should think about doing some work, but I'm afraid I'm suffering from a severe case of TNFI....

Back later.

Karen

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time

A Gwyneth Paltrow moment? No chance - I'm not wearing waterproof mascara!

I think the title sums this post up.. I've just got back from the company conference, where I won an award for customer service! I know this sounds really corny, but it was the last thing that I expected!

I was quietly minding my own business (trying not to get caught snoozing) when I heard my name being called, to go and collect this award. I was mortified, and you could have fried eggs on my cheeks.

The award itself was £50 in leisure vouchers, a certificate and a bottle of Moet & Chandon champagne. I was trying not to cry when I was being given the award, and afterwards, my friends and colleagues were joking about me doing a "Gwyenth Paltrow" - i.e. crying all the time I was on the stage.

I also got told that I was too young to drink the champagne, and that I should had it over to "more responsible" persons. Needless to day, the more "responsible" persons got told to "Sod off" as I have every intention of sharing this bottle of champagne with my beloved.

Not that I admitted who I was going to drink it with - all I said was that I was going to drink it with someone who had helped me a great deal over the past year, and without this person's help, I would have gone flat on my face.

Time to call this quits - the adrenaline is starting to wear off, and I need to get some sleep...

Back when my feet can touch the ground and my fingers can touch the keyboard again...

Karen

I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

Back to the postings...

I've not updated my blog for a while, as I managed to go down with the dreaded flu. It knocked me for six, and ended up causing me to take a week off work. Not really what I wanted to do, especially as I'd got a hospital appointment to get my shoulder sorted out...

The hospital wasn't a bad visit at all, especially as the registrar was a real gent... He said that there was no need for me to go back as there was nothing more that they could do, aside from sending me back for yet more physio - which I found to be beneficial, but I already know (and do) the exercises!

As I'd expected to get a jab in the shoulder, I'd booked the day off as holiday, so Mum and I headed off to Evesham to do some shopping... I got back, only to discover that I needed a sick note as I'd gone sick the week prior to my holiday. Great. That meant a trip to the doctors and £10 for a private sick note.

But, at least I got my day's holiday back, so that means that I can do somehting that I want to do with my holiday...

Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I'm suffering from TNFI - which is as little worrying, as it's only Monday!

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

Throwing a spanner in the works....

Typical. They say the best laid plans of mice and tiggers have this horrible habit of going astray, and my plans are no different.

I was hoping to talk my beloved into going to Wolverhampton with me to go and see Gary Moore, but we agreed (in principal) to go to Oxford instead as it was closer for the pair of us. The idea was that the pair of us would take the day of the concert off, and then go to the concert in the evening.

Fine in theory. In practice? It sank without a trace, as it turned out that my beloved was supposed to be going to Whitley Bay the following morning and as he said, he didn't want to have to travel on very little sleep.

Needless to say, I'm not too happy, as I was really looking forward to going to see Gary Moore with my beloved, but I'm sure that we'll manage to get away together some time, and I would rather know that he was travelling when he was fully rested...

Suppose I should log off and bog off - I've got to feed the furry fiends...

Back when I get chance.

Karen

I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

Planning another escape (or four)...

Yes, I'm back to my usual tricks - planning escapes - both with Mum and on my own. The first escape is going to be one on my own - a singer that I like - Gary Moore - is going on tour, and I'm hoping to persuade my beloved to take a day or so to head up to Wolverhampton to go and see him with me.

The other escapes are going to be with Mum - we're going back to Jersey at the end of March for a week, and back to Madeira the end of June for a couple of weeks - but I'll be back in time to get down to Silverstone for the British Grand Prix with my godsprog.

As for other escapes, well, I'll just have to see what heads my way and see where life takes me - but I know that there is another possible escape on the horizon - again, with Mum.

This time, it's another weeding (I mean wedding) - my cousin Alex is getting married the beginning of September in Brighton, so that means I've got to find a decent top to wear with my dark suit - there's no way I'm going to get anything else (like a dress) as I know damned well that I would never wear it again - well voluntarily anyway!!

Ah well, guess I should think about doing some work, but I'm suffering from a sever case of TNFI (totally no ******g interest) - and it's only Tuesday!

Back when I get the chance...

Karen

I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

A new year, and fresh hopes

Well, Quentin is on the road to recovery, but is still very ill. Julian did have a New Year celebration - he spent it with Mum, me and a couple of close family friends, as Mum said that there was no way that he was going to spend New Year's eve on his own.

Me? Well I'm not quite sure what this year will bring me - apart from more surprises - especially where my beloved is concerned. But, I'll cross those bridges as and when I come to them - no point in trying to add stress and hassle to my life!

Guess I should call this quits - Jules is ready to head to the hospital to see Quentin, and I said I'd go as well...

Back when I get chance..

Karen

I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

Finishing the year with a scare

Not the sort of news that I wanted to get.

I’ve just had a ‘phone call from Julian - his partner has been rushed into hospital with Pneumonia, and is seriously ill. That's not the worst part - Quentin has got non-Hodgkins lymphoma, and has only just recovered from a course of chemo.

We'd been planning our normal New Year bash - i.e. out to dinner, go and make idiots of ourselves on the dance floor of our favourite club, and then pile into our normal Balti-hut for breakfast.

That was the plan. But this news has really gone and scuppered everything, and Julian feels that he's let me and the rest of the gang down. OK - I can't speak for the rest of the group that I knock around with, but Jules is a victim of this rotten bug that has put Quentin in hospital.

As far as I'm concerned, my New Year can be re-arranged - all I want is Quentin fit and well - not to mention putting Ricky Martin to shame with the swivelling hips on the dance floor!

Time to call this quits - I said that I would go to the hospital with Jules.

No idea when I'll get chance to put finger to keyboard again, so I'll try my best to keep notes on the ups and downs...

Back when time allows.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

A turkey's idea of Christmas?



Merry Christmas to one and all

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Chilling out before Christmas

There's something magical about seeing someone you love just before Christmas - and that's what I've been lucky enough to do this weekend.

I’d arranged to meet my beloved at the Green Man pub / restaurant, with the idea being that it was a weekend for the pair of us to kick back, shut out the world and spend some time together – with no-one demanding that we pay attention to them.

All I will say is that I’m nicely chilled out, and am ready to face the madness that is Christmas, and that nothing will be able to rattle my confidence.

Time to call this quits – I’ve still got a few bits and pieces to sort out…

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Something to sum up Christmas....

Occasionally, you come across a real gem - and I think this is one!

Enjoy.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

*************************************************

A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas - old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear?
The old lady bitches 'cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money - the reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.

And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes - if that ain't funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days - they all are the pits
They want the impossible - those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls - their arms, legs, and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's - no request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde - I'm going SOUTH for the season.