I guess the title says it all. I went to see Snakes on a Plane last night with Julian – and yes – it was just as I expected – a ‘leave your brain at the cinema door’ type of film.
However, despite that, it was a really good film and a couple of times I did jump – and I was more than impressed with the special effects – to the extent that I've decided to get this film on DVD.
I thought Julian was scared by the film in a couple of places (well if the bruises on my left arm are anything to go by) even thought he denied it afterwards…
We had planned to go to Frankie & Bennies afterwards, but neither of us could face eating – it probably had something to do with a couple of scenes in the film…
Ah well, guess I should get on with some work, but I’m really suffering from a case of TNFI…
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings
Taking on more than my fair share...?
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Well, at this moment in time, I feel like I've been steam-rolled into looking after yet another national account - and all because the person responsible hasn't turned up for the past week or so.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind if I've been asked by the person but this seems to have been dropped onto my lap, as no-one else appears to be interested in doing anything at all.
Normally, that's not a problem for me, but at this moment in time, I've got more than enough to keep me out of mischief - on both a professional and personal front!
So, something somewhere is going to have to give way a little - and I'm going to make sure that other people start taking on some of my workload, as there is only so much I can do before my own work starts to suffer - and given that I've put in too many damned hours to get most of my roles sorted - it ain't going to be MY work!
Time to call this quits - I'm going to head for lunch - and make sure that no-one can get hold of me!
Back later if I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind if I've been asked by the person but this seems to have been dropped onto my lap, as no-one else appears to be interested in doing anything at all.
Normally, that's not a problem for me, but at this moment in time, I've got more than enough to keep me out of mischief - on both a professional and personal front!
So, something somewhere is going to have to give way a little - and I'm going to make sure that other people start taking on some of my workload, as there is only so much I can do before my own work starts to suffer - and given that I've put in too many damned hours to get most of my roles sorted - it ain't going to be MY work!
Time to call this quits - I'm going to head for lunch - and make sure that no-one can get hold of me!
Back later if I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
A stressless existance? Not around here!
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Not a good day today. I came close to losing it in the office because I was feeling like crap (I find that very little sleep tends to do that to me now) and I was wound up - well past my normal tolerance levels.
It didn't help me when my friend called me and was really sweet - all that did was push me even closer to the edge, and I will admit to being a little bit short / sharp on the 'phone when I spoke to him.
There's so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones
Add into that, I got piled up with paperwork and you begin to get the general idea. OK - I don't think that the issues in my private life are really helping, but it's very rare that I get so stressed out that it starts to affect me at work.
I know one thing - the sooner that I get this over and done with, the happier I'm going to be as it will mean that I can get on with my life, without having to look over my shoulder the whole damned time, wondering what the hell is going to come and splatter my confidence all over the walls yet again.
Ah well, time to call this quits - I've go to get shifting as I've got stuff to do before I call it quits here tonight...
Back tomorrow.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
It didn't help me when my friend called me and was really sweet - all that did was push me even closer to the edge, and I will admit to being a little bit short / sharp on the 'phone when I spoke to him.
There's so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones
Add into that, I got piled up with paperwork and you begin to get the general idea. OK - I don't think that the issues in my private life are really helping, but it's very rare that I get so stressed out that it starts to affect me at work.
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone
I know one thing - the sooner that I get this over and done with, the happier I'm going to be as it will mean that I can get on with my life, without having to look over my shoulder the whole damned time, wondering what the hell is going to come and splatter my confidence all over the walls yet again.
Ah well, time to call this quits - I've go to get shifting as I've got stuff to do before I call it quits here tonight...
Back tomorrow.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Starting the week off with a smile...
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I make no apologies for this joke - it made me smile.
Enjoy.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out.
She went to the Western Wall and there he was walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane in a very slow fashion, she approached him for an interview.
"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a bloody wall."
Enjoy.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out.
She went to the Western Wall and there he was walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane in a very slow fashion, she approached him for an interview.
"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a bloody wall."
Hoping to lay a ghost to rest...
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Karen
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Well, the furry fiends have been fed, and are now sleeping off their munchies on my bed - which doesn't bother me that much as it means that I get peace and quiet for a while...
That means that I've been able to concentrate on the one problem that's been bugging me all weekend - my ex-fiancé.
He called me after I'd fed the cats, and much to his surprise, I answered the call. He somehow managed to refrain from making any sarcastic comments, as the last time he did, I put the 'phone down on him.
You say I’m heartless
And you say I don't care
I used to be there for you
And you've said I seem so dead, that I have changed
But so have you
I've agreed to meet him on neutral territory - Oxford - on Saturday in order to sort things out between us once and for all. Why he's so insistent on meeting up with me is a mystery to me, but I'm not dumb enough to fall for his charms - the old saying once bitten, twice shy is only too relevant where he's concerned.
You've been so thoughtless
I can see right through you
You used to be there for me
So don't you leave say goodbye
Cause you have changed but so have I
Equally, I've not been daft (or dumb) enough to go and meet him on my own. Julian has said that he'll come with me - I get the impression that he's terrified that I might do something I regret - like laying him out cold in the middle of Oxford.
Tempting as that might well be, he's really not worth the trouble, and all I want to do is shatter any and all illusions about the chances of us two getting back together. As I've said in a previous post - that will happen when Satan starts ordering winter woollies and antifreeze.
I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore
Until then, all I can do is make it plain that any discussions can wait until Saturday - I don't want to give him the impression that I'm considering anything where he's concerned - apart from the possibility of the best location to bury the hatchet. My personal preference would be right between his shoulder blades! *Grin*
Time to call this quits - I want some peace and quiet tonight, as it's back to the grindstone for me tomorrow...
Back tomorrow if I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
That means that I've been able to concentrate on the one problem that's been bugging me all weekend - my ex-fiancé.
He called me after I'd fed the cats, and much to his surprise, I answered the call. He somehow managed to refrain from making any sarcastic comments, as the last time he did, I put the 'phone down on him.
You say I’m heartless
And you say I don't care
I used to be there for you
And you've said I seem so dead, that I have changed
But so have you
I've agreed to meet him on neutral territory - Oxford - on Saturday in order to sort things out between us once and for all. Why he's so insistent on meeting up with me is a mystery to me, but I'm not dumb enough to fall for his charms - the old saying once bitten, twice shy is only too relevant where he's concerned.
You've been so thoughtless
I can see right through you
You used to be there for me
So don't you leave say goodbye
Cause you have changed but so have I
Equally, I've not been daft (or dumb) enough to go and meet him on my own. Julian has said that he'll come with me - I get the impression that he's terrified that I might do something I regret - like laying him out cold in the middle of Oxford.
Tempting as that might well be, he's really not worth the trouble, and all I want to do is shatter any and all illusions about the chances of us two getting back together. As I've said in a previous post - that will happen when Satan starts ordering winter woollies and antifreeze.
I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore
Until then, all I can do is make it plain that any discussions can wait until Saturday - I don't want to give him the impression that I'm considering anything where he's concerned - apart from the possibility of the best location to bury the hatchet. My personal preference would be right between his shoulder blades! *Grin*
Time to call this quits - I want some peace and quiet tonight, as it's back to the grindstone for me tomorrow...
Back tomorrow if I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Back from Stratford, and still fighting a ghost
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Well, I'm back from Stratford. It was lovely to see my friend and his family - and it made a change for it to be on my "home" turf for once!
I was able to show them around Stratford and show them around the various places without getting ripped off by the various places and also went around the Teddy Bear museum. (See http://www.theteddybearmuseum.com/index.htm)
Yes - I dragged a big burly biker around the Teddy Bear museum. Whilst he was looking at something, I took the chance to go and buy him a teddy - it was really sweet and had a little long sleeve t-shirt on, with Friends Forever on it.
We then went for lunch in the Weatherspoons pub, and whilst we were sitting down, I gave him the bear - much to his embarrassment - and I was told that I shouldn't have bought it. Yes I should - I fell for it, and thought that it would be a nice way to remember the trip to Stratford.
Who knew the other side of you?
Who knew the hardest time to prove?
Too true to say good bye to you
Too true to say say say...
However - there was one dark cloud for me. My 'phone kept ringing and chiming with various messages - and I will admit to being more than a little dismayed when I saw who they were from.
Rather than let them spoil a nice day for us all, I ended up turning my 'phone off until I was on my own, and then made sure that once I had sorted things out with my friend, I ignored any other calls / messages that came in.
OK - I know that my friend will be upset when he realises why I was so quiet towards the end of the day, but the messages and calls were really starting to affect me, and I'm beginning to think about changing my mobile number again - if only to stop the calls and texts.
But, the trouble is, I know that if I do that, then there will be calls and messages left on my home answerphone, which will upset Mum - and that's the last thing that I want to happen.
So, I guess that I'm going to have to confront this problem and sort things out once and for all - and make it plain that I want nothing to do with him what-so-ever, and hopefully, he'll take the hint without me having to resort to physical means.
Time to call this quits - I've got to feed the furry fiends, and the pair of them are sitting in the study glaring at me, as I'm ignoring them in favour of updating my blog!
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
I was able to show them around Stratford and show them around the various places without getting ripped off by the various places and also went around the Teddy Bear museum. (See http://www.theteddybearmuseum.com/index.htm)
Yes - I dragged a big burly biker around the Teddy Bear museum. Whilst he was looking at something, I took the chance to go and buy him a teddy - it was really sweet and had a little long sleeve t-shirt on, with Friends Forever on it.
We then went for lunch in the Weatherspoons pub, and whilst we were sitting down, I gave him the bear - much to his embarrassment - and I was told that I shouldn't have bought it. Yes I should - I fell for it, and thought that it would be a nice way to remember the trip to Stratford.
Who knew the other side of you?
Who knew the hardest time to prove?
Too true to say good bye to you
Too true to say say say...
However - there was one dark cloud for me. My 'phone kept ringing and chiming with various messages - and I will admit to being more than a little dismayed when I saw who they were from.
Rather than let them spoil a nice day for us all, I ended up turning my 'phone off until I was on my own, and then made sure that once I had sorted things out with my friend, I ignored any other calls / messages that came in.
OK - I know that my friend will be upset when he realises why I was so quiet towards the end of the day, but the messages and calls were really starting to affect me, and I'm beginning to think about changing my mobile number again - if only to stop the calls and texts.
But, the trouble is, I know that if I do that, then there will be calls and messages left on my home answerphone, which will upset Mum - and that's the last thing that I want to happen.
So, I guess that I'm going to have to confront this problem and sort things out once and for all - and make it plain that I want nothing to do with him what-so-ever, and hopefully, he'll take the hint without me having to resort to physical means.
Time to call this quits - I've got to feed the furry fiends, and the pair of them are sitting in the study glaring at me, as I'm ignoring them in favour of updating my blog!
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
I want that Pug!!
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Karen
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The Peugeot 207. what can I say apart from - I want that car so badly it hurts!!!
It's truly an awesome car, and I freely admit being VERY reluctant to hand it back to the dealer. So, all I have to do now is wait and see what the new models bring, as the one that I drove was a manual (and I don't mind admitting that my left leg aches after using the clutch - something that my tiptronic auto doesn't have.)
The run to Bridgemere Garden World was a doddle - the car had more than enough power to get me out of trouble (as well as into trouble - I was accused of playing chicken with a 44 ton lorry - as if I would be daft enough to do that! *Grin*)
Once we were at Bridgemere, I found that the car was easy to park and had a good sized boot - big enough to get 120l of compost, assorted plants and other bits into it without much of a struggle.
The car also proved very flexible when it came to driving in town, as I was dropping Julian and his partner back home, and once again, I found it a comfortable car to drive.
OK - I admit that the model I was driving was a tad on the basic side, and I would have added a few extra bits and pieces to it, but on the whole, I think that Peugeot has come up with a little gem as far as I'm concerned.
I guess that the only thing that I can grumble about is that the car is actually bigger than the 206 - it's almost the same size as the old Peugeot 306, but despite that, it still felt nimble and responsive.
Time to call this quits - I need to get some sleep, as I'm meeting up with my daft hog riding friend and his family tomorrow...
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
It's truly an awesome car, and I freely admit being VERY reluctant to hand it back to the dealer. So, all I have to do now is wait and see what the new models bring, as the one that I drove was a manual (and I don't mind admitting that my left leg aches after using the clutch - something that my tiptronic auto doesn't have.)
The run to Bridgemere Garden World was a doddle - the car had more than enough power to get me out of trouble (as well as into trouble - I was accused of playing chicken with a 44 ton lorry - as if I would be daft enough to do that! *Grin*)
Once we were at Bridgemere, I found that the car was easy to park and had a good sized boot - big enough to get 120l of compost, assorted plants and other bits into it without much of a struggle.
The car also proved very flexible when it came to driving in town, as I was dropping Julian and his partner back home, and once again, I found it a comfortable car to drive.
OK - I admit that the model I was driving was a tad on the basic side, and I would have added a few extra bits and pieces to it, but on the whole, I think that Peugeot has come up with a little gem as far as I'm concerned.
I guess that the only thing that I can grumble about is that the car is actually bigger than the 206 - it's almost the same size as the old Peugeot 306, but despite that, it still felt nimble and responsive.
Time to call this quits - I need to get some sleep, as I'm meeting up with my daft hog riding friend and his family tomorrow...
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Being haunted by a ghost from the past
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Karen
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What is it about me and control freaks? I seem to attract them and then seem to have even more trouble shaking them off. OK – let me rephrase that. The control freak in question is my ex-fiancé to be precise.
The last time I saw him, I threatened to do him some serious physical harm if he tried to contact me, and for the past 12 months or so, that threat seemed to keep him well away from me.
But, either I’m losing my touch, or he’s grown braver and has started trying to contact me again – which has really upset me.
He called me earlier today, asking me how I was, how Mum was and making it sound like the events that lead up to the threat never happened. Ok – maybe he thinks that I’ll have forgotten or more to the point forgiven him, but that will happen when Satan starts ordering winter woollies and antifreeze.
So, me being me, tried to make it plain (without resorting to offensive language or putting the ‘phone down on him) that the contact was unwelcome, and that I had nothing to say to him.
I would have thought that my lack of enthusiasm for the conversation would have given him the idea that I really didn’t want anything to do with him, but he seems to have all the empathy of a brick – without the use.
I'm outta love
Set me free
And let me out this misery
Just show me the way to get my life again
'Cause you can't handle me
(I said) I'm outta love
Can't you see
Baby that you gotta set me free
I'm outta love
So, in the end, I resorted to the old stand-by that my 'phone battery was dying, and that I would have to call it quits. He seemed a little miffed, and I thought that it would be the last I heard from him.
Boy, did I get that one wrong. He kept trying to call me all day today, which resulted in me turning my 'phone off, as all it was doing was winding me up, not to mention upsetting me on a day when I could have really done without it.
Time to call this quits - I've got to take the 207 back to Arbury Peugeot...
Back with a full review of the Peugeot...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
The last time I saw him, I threatened to do him some serious physical harm if he tried to contact me, and for the past 12 months or so, that threat seemed to keep him well away from me.
But, either I’m losing my touch, or he’s grown braver and has started trying to contact me again – which has really upset me.
He called me earlier today, asking me how I was, how Mum was and making it sound like the events that lead up to the threat never happened. Ok – maybe he thinks that I’ll have forgotten or more to the point forgiven him, but that will happen when Satan starts ordering winter woollies and antifreeze.
So, me being me, tried to make it plain (without resorting to offensive language or putting the ‘phone down on him) that the contact was unwelcome, and that I had nothing to say to him.
I would have thought that my lack of enthusiasm for the conversation would have given him the idea that I really didn’t want anything to do with him, but he seems to have all the empathy of a brick – without the use.
I'm outta love
Set me free
And let me out this misery
Just show me the way to get my life again
'Cause you can't handle me
(I said) I'm outta love
Can't you see
Baby that you gotta set me free
I'm outta love
So, in the end, I resorted to the old stand-by that my 'phone battery was dying, and that I would have to call it quits. He seemed a little miffed, and I thought that it would be the last I heard from him.
Boy, did I get that one wrong. He kept trying to call me all day today, which resulted in me turning my 'phone off, as all it was doing was winding me up, not to mention upsetting me on a day when I could have really done without it.
Time to call this quits - I've got to take the 207 back to Arbury Peugeot...
Back with a full review of the Peugeot...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Rough Language
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Karen
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Please excuse the rough language in the following story...
I don't write them, I just post them.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well," said her mother,"so how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home..., PLEASE MAMA!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"
"Darling, baby, you must! tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama... He used words like: dust, wash, iron, cook..."
"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.
I don't write them, I just post them.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well," said her mother,"so how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home..., PLEASE MAMA!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"
"Darling, baby, you must! tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama... He used words like: dust, wash, iron, cook..."
"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.
How smart are you....?
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Karen
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You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.
Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
If you do not know, scroll down to see answer below.
Get your drunken ass off the merry-go-round!
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
If you do not know, scroll down to see answer below.
Get your drunken ass off the merry-go-round!
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Looking forward to a weekend...
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Karen
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And what a weekend it promises to be! I've booked myself a 24hr test drive in the new Peugeot 207, which starts at 18:00 tonight and runs until 18:00 tomorrow night, and then Sunday, I'm meeting up with my daft hog riding friend and his family in Stratford.
Tomorrow is the busier of the two days in terms of the distances I'll be traveling, as I'm going up to a garden centre in Cheshire - Bridgemere Garden World (see http://www.bridgemere.co.uk/index.htm) with Julian and his partner, as they want to get some plants for their garden.
Ok - I know that it sounds crazy, but the theory behind it states that you should buy plants from a garden centre / nursery further north as the plants will be used to harsher conditions, and so will thrive in a southern garden.
So, that means a blast up the M6 (a motorway I hate - most of the drivers on that road are idiots - and I think I might be being a tad unkind to the idiots) on the way there, then a trip down the scenic route through Rugeley and Litchfield, so that I get an idea of how I get on with the car and more to the point, if I'm interested enough to give it serious consideration when I come to swap my 206.
Sunday however, promises to be quite a different kettle of fish... I got a text message from my daft friend at some unearthly time this morning (I think it was about 00:35) asking what I was doing this weekend.
So, as I was already awake (Ponto had decided to stick his sharp little claws into me as he stretched in his sleep - furry little fiend!) I sent a reply saying that I was busy tomorrow (Saturday) but I was free on Sunday...
He then sent me a reply saying that he was thinking about heading up to Stratford, and said that it would be nice to meet up, as I was "local" and know which tourist traps to avoid as a matter of course, plus I can give the "insiders" knowledge - daft little rules like there are no thatched houses within the town perimeter due to a devastating fire in the late 1600s.
Ok - I know that sounds daft, but at the time, it made sense as the river Avon runs through the town at the bottom end. Aside from that, I know quite a bit of useless local information...
Guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - not blogging!
Back when I get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Tomorrow is the busier of the two days in terms of the distances I'll be traveling, as I'm going up to a garden centre in Cheshire - Bridgemere Garden World (see http://www.bridgemere.co.uk/index.htm) with Julian and his partner, as they want to get some plants for their garden.
Ok - I know that it sounds crazy, but the theory behind it states that you should buy plants from a garden centre / nursery further north as the plants will be used to harsher conditions, and so will thrive in a southern garden.
So, that means a blast up the M6 (a motorway I hate - most of the drivers on that road are idiots - and I think I might be being a tad unkind to the idiots) on the way there, then a trip down the scenic route through Rugeley and Litchfield, so that I get an idea of how I get on with the car and more to the point, if I'm interested enough to give it serious consideration when I come to swap my 206.
Sunday however, promises to be quite a different kettle of fish... I got a text message from my daft friend at some unearthly time this morning (I think it was about 00:35) asking what I was doing this weekend.
So, as I was already awake (Ponto had decided to stick his sharp little claws into me as he stretched in his sleep - furry little fiend!) I sent a reply saying that I was busy tomorrow (Saturday) but I was free on Sunday...
He then sent me a reply saying that he was thinking about heading up to Stratford, and said that it would be nice to meet up, as I was "local" and know which tourist traps to avoid as a matter of course, plus I can give the "insiders" knowledge - daft little rules like there are no thatched houses within the town perimeter due to a devastating fire in the late 1600s.
Ok - I know that sounds daft, but at the time, it made sense as the river Avon runs through the town at the bottom end. Aside from that, I know quite a bit of useless local information...
Guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - not blogging!
Back when I get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Just a couple of jokes...
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Karen
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These little gems were sent to me by an American friend - who has a very twisted sense of humour... Many thanks big guy!
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
Boudreaux, a Cajun highlander from Rapides Parish in central Louisiana,was an older, single gentleman, who was born and raised a Baptist, living in South Louisiana. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook the most wonderful venison steak.
Now, all of Boudreaux's neighbors were Catholic... And since It was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Fridays. The STRONG delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally went to their priest.
The priest came to visit Boudreaux, and suggested that Boudreaux Convert to Catholicism. After several classes and much study, Boudreaux attended Mass and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are Catholic."
Boudreaux's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the whole neighborhood.
The priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Boudreaux's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped in amazement and watched.
There stood Boudreaux, clutching a small bottle of water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat, and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, and you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish!"
*************************************************
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. Yo u see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm al lowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my Life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked."I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
Boudreaux, a Cajun highlander from Rapides Parish in central Louisiana,was an older, single gentleman, who was born and raised a Baptist, living in South Louisiana. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook the most wonderful venison steak.
Now, all of Boudreaux's neighbors were Catholic... And since It was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Fridays. The STRONG delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally went to their priest.
The priest came to visit Boudreaux, and suggested that Boudreaux Convert to Catholicism. After several classes and much study, Boudreaux attended Mass and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist, but now you are Catholic."
Boudreaux's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the whole neighborhood.
The priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Boudreaux's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped in amazement and watched.
There stood Boudreaux, clutching a small bottle of water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat, and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, and you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish!"
*************************************************
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. Yo u see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm al lowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my Life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked."I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"
Something to brighten a gloomy day...
Posted by
Karen
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Occasionally, you get a real gem of a joke... And this is one of them..
Enjoy.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
A little boy blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something. The boy continues. "Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something." He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.
Johnny starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet. Mom comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.
When she's finished she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.
When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing.
Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.
"Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !"
You're laughing aren't you.. I know you are!!!
Enjoy.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
*************************************************
A little boy blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something. The boy continues. "Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something." He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.
Johnny starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet. Mom comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.
When she's finished she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.
When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing.
Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.
"Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !"
You're laughing aren't you.. I know you are!!!
Happier times ahead for one, sadness ahead for another
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Karen
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Well, it looks like my daft hog riding friend has made his decision. He's taken the role that he was offered, and has admitted that it was a stark choice - either he took this role or he looked for another job.
But, at the end of the day, as long as he's happy (ok - make that happier than he was) - that's all that I really care about, as I hated hearing him so down.
On a more personal note, I had to take the Pont back to the vet tonight, and it looks like the end is closing in for him. I've got to take him back to the vet's once a week, so that they can monitor him, and I've been told that Ponto has weeks as opposed to months left.
I will admit I was devastated when I was given this news, especially when I think of all the happy times that the cat and I have been through - not to mention all the fun that we've had causing havoc together. Plus, I don't know how Fred (my other cat) is going to cope, as he seems to look to Ponto as his role model. (God help the poor little sod!)
So, all I can do is make sure that he's not suffering (he seems quite capable of beating up a dog when he's in the mood) and give him all the fuss and attention that he deserves.
Time to call this quits - I need to get some sleep.
Back when I get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
But, at the end of the day, as long as he's happy (ok - make that happier than he was) - that's all that I really care about, as I hated hearing him so down.
On a more personal note, I had to take the Pont back to the vet tonight, and it looks like the end is closing in for him. I've got to take him back to the vet's once a week, so that they can monitor him, and I've been told that Ponto has weeks as opposed to months left.
I will admit I was devastated when I was given this news, especially when I think of all the happy times that the cat and I have been through - not to mention all the fun that we've had causing havoc together. Plus, I don't know how Fred (my other cat) is going to cope, as he seems to look to Ponto as his role model. (God help the poor little sod!)
So, all I can do is make sure that he's not suffering (he seems quite capable of beating up a dog when he's in the mood) and give him all the fuss and attention that he deserves.
Time to call this quits - I need to get some sleep.
Back when I get the chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Looking to the future...
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Karen
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Well, it looks like to day is D-Day for my daft hog riding friend. For the past few months, he's been agonising over what to do do with regards to his job, as he's admitted that he's getting to the stage that he just wants to leave.
He's been offered a slightly different role withing the company, and has admitted that he's not sure if it's what he really wants, as it means that he will be spending more time in the office, and less time going out on the road to see customers and setting up new accounts for them.
Instead, he'll be working with existing customers, improving relations with them and generally making sure that they're happy with the service that they are recieving.
By his own admission, he's not sure if he's really up for this role, and has said that it's going to take a lot of talking through and thinking about, as it could have a big impact on his life.
At the end of the day, he's the only one that can make the decision - all people like me can do is provide a shoulder to lean on, and an ear to bend as and when needed....
Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - not blogging....
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
He's been offered a slightly different role withing the company, and has admitted that he's not sure if it's what he really wants, as it means that he will be spending more time in the office, and less time going out on the road to see customers and setting up new accounts for them.
Instead, he'll be working with existing customers, improving relations with them and generally making sure that they're happy with the service that they are recieving.
By his own admission, he's not sure if he's really up for this role, and has said that it's going to take a lot of talking through and thinking about, as it could have a big impact on his life.
At the end of the day, he's the only one that can make the decision - all people like me can do is provide a shoulder to lean on, and an ear to bend as and when needed....
Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - not blogging....
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Recovering from the weekend...
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Karen
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What can I say about the weekend, apart from WOW!
It was the sort of weekend that you dream of having - even if there were a couple of scares - including me scraping a wasp out of my hair - without realising what the damned thing was!
Saturday, Mum and I went to the Town & Country festival at Stoneleigh, and as Mum had a motability scooter, it meant that I was able to walk at my normal pace, knowing full well that Mum was able to keep up with me.
I should have guessed that things were going to go right for me, when I found the last two pieces of a set of Beswick Thelwell figures..
The figure on the left was the one that I liked (I can't find a picture of the one that Mum bought for my birthday - she's always stuck what to get me!) So, that means that I now have the complete set of the unlimited edition figures, as I always disliked the limited edition figures...
Aside from that, we managed to get all sorts of silly bits and pieces - including a hematite necklace for me, and a new handbag. Yes, I've heard all the jokes about women and their handbags - but this was quite reasonable, and will be really useful for me as it's big enough to get my various bits and pieces into...
But, the highlight of the day was the Battle of Britain memorial flight - two Spitfires and one of the two Lancaster Bombers still flying! It was a real treat to see them flying, and they did about four fly-pasts over the showground. I was cursing the fact that I didn't have my camera, as I would have loved to have taken some photos of them in flight, but the memories of the noise and the actual sight of the planes flying will stay with me for a long time...
Sunday was a quieter day, as Mum and I had planned to do very little. Ok - plan and reality had very little in common, but I manage to complete my wedding outfit by getting a rather simple, yet bold camisole from the same shop as my suit.
Today. A different kettle of fish altogether. Mum and I went to Derbyshire to a couple of these so-called outlet villages.. Mum wanted to get some shoes - Fly-flots - and suggested that I had a look as well, as she said that she found hers very comfortable...
So did I - and I ended up buying two pairs - one pair of black toe post sandals (ok - posh flip-flops) and a paid of ajustable mules with diamante detailing in a powder blue... I also managed to get a pair of loafers - something I have been searching for high and low, as I refused to pay £50+ for a pair of shoes that I wasn't very keen on...
I will admit, I did enjoy the driving as I'd volunteered to do so, due to the fact that I wanted Mum map-reading / navigating as well as speed camera spotting as I had no intention of getting nabbed for speeding...
Time to call this quits - I'm shattered, and all I want to do is curl up and sleep!
Back tomorrow...
Karen
It was the sort of weekend that you dream of having - even if there were a couple of scares - including me scraping a wasp out of my hair - without realising what the damned thing was!
Saturday, Mum and I went to the Town & Country festival at Stoneleigh, and as Mum had a motability scooter, it meant that I was able to walk at my normal pace, knowing full well that Mum was able to keep up with me.
I should have guessed that things were going to go right for me, when I found the last two pieces of a set of Beswick Thelwell figures..
The figure on the left was the one that I liked (I can't find a picture of the one that Mum bought for my birthday - she's always stuck what to get me!) So, that means that I now have the complete set of the unlimited edition figures, as I always disliked the limited edition figures...Aside from that, we managed to get all sorts of silly bits and pieces - including a hematite necklace for me, and a new handbag. Yes, I've heard all the jokes about women and their handbags - but this was quite reasonable, and will be really useful for me as it's big enough to get my various bits and pieces into...
But, the highlight of the day was the Battle of Britain memorial flight - two Spitfires and one of the two Lancaster Bombers still flying! It was a real treat to see them flying, and they did about four fly-pasts over the showground. I was cursing the fact that I didn't have my camera, as I would have loved to have taken some photos of them in flight, but the memories of the noise and the actual sight of the planes flying will stay with me for a long time...
Sunday was a quieter day, as Mum and I had planned to do very little. Ok - plan and reality had very little in common, but I manage to complete my wedding outfit by getting a rather simple, yet bold camisole from the same shop as my suit.
Today. A different kettle of fish altogether. Mum and I went to Derbyshire to a couple of these so-called outlet villages.. Mum wanted to get some shoes - Fly-flots - and suggested that I had a look as well, as she said that she found hers very comfortable...
So did I - and I ended up buying two pairs - one pair of black toe post sandals (ok - posh flip-flops) and a paid of ajustable mules with diamante detailing in a powder blue... I also managed to get a pair of loafers - something I have been searching for high and low, as I refused to pay £50+ for a pair of shoes that I wasn't very keen on...
I will admit, I did enjoy the driving as I'd volunteered to do so, due to the fact that I wanted Mum map-reading / navigating as well as speed camera spotting as I had no intention of getting nabbed for speeding...
Time to call this quits - I'm shattered, and all I want to do is curl up and sleep!
Back tomorrow...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Just a little something...
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Karen
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This was sent to me by a friend of mine (who shall remain anonymous, to protect the allegedly innocent), as he said that he's been tempted to / has managed to try out most of the things on this list - and his wife doesn't know....!
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
More jokes...
Posted by
Karen
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It looks like today is going to be one of those days when the jokes flow thick and fast... It could be something to do with the fact that it's the August Bank Holiday weekend here in the UK and people seem to be in the mood to chill and send silly stuff - including my friends in the USA...!
So, I make no appologies for these jokes - they've made me smile...
Bubba and Ray (Arkansas mechanical engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder,"
The blonde took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Ray shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde!? We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
The other joke was this one...
The Pentagon Plan USRSF
[No endorsement intended]
The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation ofa new 500-man elite fighting unit called theUnited States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, West Virginia, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas and Louisiana boys, will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
So, I make no appologies for these jokes - they've made me smile...
Bubba and Ray (Arkansas mechanical engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder,"
The blonde took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Ray shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde!? We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
The other joke was this one...
The Pentagon Plan USRSF
[No endorsement intended]
The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation ofa new 500-man elite fighting unit called theUnited States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, West Virginia, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas and Louisiana boys, will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Making a muppet of someone
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Karen
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There's nothing like being able to prove a colleague wrong - especially when the colleague in question takes great delight in taking the mikey out of me...
I recieved an e-mail asking me why a customer hadn't recieved some tyres, when they had allegedly been ordered... Simple. Because the tyres in question had been sent to another customer!
Ok - I know it's nasty to gloat at someone-else's expense, but just occasionally, it's nice to be able to pull the rug out from under this guy's feet, and bring him down to my level...
I mean, the standing joke amongst those people who know the pair of us, is that when we fight (verbally I hasten to add) we don't go toe to toe - we go eyeball to kneecap - and he backs down... No idea why... *Grin*
Ah well, enough gloating - I suppose I should get on with some w*rk...
Back later if I get chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
I recieved an e-mail asking me why a customer hadn't recieved some tyres, when they had allegedly been ordered... Simple. Because the tyres in question had been sent to another customer!
Ok - I know it's nasty to gloat at someone-else's expense, but just occasionally, it's nice to be able to pull the rug out from under this guy's feet, and bring him down to my level...
I mean, the standing joke amongst those people who know the pair of us, is that when we fight (verbally I hasten to add) we don't go toe to toe - we go eyeball to kneecap - and he backs down... No idea why... *Grin*
Ah well, enough gloating - I suppose I should get on with some w*rk...
Back later if I get chance...
Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings
Jokes that make you smile
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Karen
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Occasionally, you get a real barnstormer of a joke, that just has to get shared with friends and relatives... This joke is a good example of it, and I just couldn't resist posting it.
Enjoy.
Karen
Learnng to fly, but I don't have wings
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I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Enjoy.
Karen
Learnng to fly, but I don't have wings
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I have 2 Labrador Retrievers & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
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