Escaping south – to Southsea and Portsmouth

Those rare people who know me, know that I don’t like boats.  Or ships.  Or anything that means I have to travel on water – including ferries.  I don’t mind looking at them – just don’t even consider trying to get me on one.

So it was a bit of a surprise to my partner when he said that he wanted to go down to Southsea in Hampshire that I immediately said that I wanted to go to Portsmouth Historic Dockyard.  The reason was two fold.  I wanted to see HMS Victory, and I also wanted to go to the new Mary Rose museum.  There was also the added bonus that we may see the new aircraft carrier – Queen Elizabeth, as Portsmouth is its home base.

So we agreed a date, and booked a really beautiful hotel – The Queen’s Hotel in Southsea.  My partner had been before, and raved about the building – and the outlook over the green and out to the Solent.

We travelled down, and arrived at the hotel – and I could see what he meant about the hotel.  It was something special.  As we were too early to check in, we asked if we could leave the car in the car park, and check in later.  Not an issue – so that was what we did – after nipping into the bar for a drink!

It was quiet something to behold, and I have to admit that I did feel like a country rube – gawping at the decorations.  But thankfully, my partner realised the reason, and didn’t tease me too much – smart man.

Then we decided to walk across the green, as the hoverport was within an easy walk of the hotel. We had thought about taking the hovercraft to the Isle of Wight, but changed our mind as there was an awful lot we wanted to do – and not really much time.

But we did watch the hovercraft coming in – and I was determined to watch it leave.  My partner told me about the times that he had sat on the beach watching it come in and more to the point – leave.  I personally thought that he was daft, as the beach was all pebbles!  But I could see the attraction in a way, and what puzzled me was the Perspex screens further up the beach.

I soon found out why. The engines fired up, they sent  spray was sent all over the place – along with a few errant pebbles.  I could see the attraction of sitting on the beach when this happened, but only on a sunny day.  As it wasn’t too sunny when we were there, I was content to video the departure on my camera, as well as taking plenty of photos:

We then decided to walk to the dockyard from Southsea – as according to my partner, it wasn’t far.  I didn’t object, although in hindsight, I should have done two things.  1st – strapped my damn knee up, and 2nd – used the walking stick that I had brought with me.

As we walked, I was able to get some quite good photos of the Wightlink ferry:

As well as the Catamaran version of the ferry:

But my favourite shots were the ones that showed the Spinnaker tower:

Not that I had any intention of going anywhere near the tower – I’m not too keen on heights (nor is my partner, so we have that in common!)

The walk to the Historic Dockyard was slightly longer than it needed to be, as we ended up going via the shopping centre – Portsmouth Quays.  Not that I objected, as it meant I could get some more batteries for my camera, as someone (me) didn’t make sure that the rechargeable batteries were fully charged before I left home.  Doh.

We got to the gates of the dockyard, there was a queue.  Because the new carrier had docked on the Wednesday, security was that much tighter, and people were having their bags checked – even my little Kipling bumbag – and my camera bag.  What on earth they thought I could smuggle into the docks in my camera case is a mystery – I can’t even fit a pair of spare batteries in it when the camera is in situ!

But, it was a small price to pay, and we got in and collected the tickets.  I have to admit that my knee was really starting to hurt, but there was no way that I was going to let something as “minor” as my knee starting to feel like a gremlin was using what was left of it for scrimshaw from stopping me going around HMS Victory.

Now all the photos that I had seen showed Victory as quite a strong yellow.  But when we actually saw her “in the flesh” she was a darkish peach colour.

You could feel the engines vibrating the air, and the low rumble was audible wherever you were in the docks.

Once we’d finished dribbling over the carrier, we went on board Victory.  Now as I have said in the past, I am not very tall – and for once it was actually quite a benefit.  Simply because the beams were very low – and my partner had to spend most of his time stooped over, trying to avoid banging his head!

We explored the top deck, and I didn’t realise just how unhappy my partner was about heights until I said that I wanted to go up on the poop deck. He was more than happy to let me climb up, as it meant he didn’t have to...  I didn’t object – more chances to get some good photos!

The staterooms at the back of the quarter deck were quite something to see – I never expected there to be a wood burning stove on a wooden ship:

And I was really impressed with the leather fire buckets:

Then it was time to descend further into Victory. The conditions were somewhat primitive – hammocks slung across massive iron guns:

And not much space between the guns themselves.

Mind you, in the areas away from the guns, there wasn’t much space either:

The real surprise was when you left Victory at the bottom of the dry dock.  You got to see the original steel supports (11 of them that I could see), and the replacement computer controlled ones:

The original steel supports were placed when the ship was placed into dry dock in the early 1920s, but they had disadvantage of not allowing the ship to expand and contract the way that it would if it was on the water.  So, as a replacement, they are in the process of installing 134 adjustable supports over two levels, to allow the ship to expand and contract – much as it would do on the water, and they had yellow markers on the hull where the rest of the new supports would be in contact with the hull.

Then it was off to the Mary Rose museum.  It’s along side the Victory, so it wasn’t too much of a walk.  This was a good thing in its way, as my knee felt like it was going to give way at any moment – and was refusing to bend – without major cursing on my part.

So we (or rather my partner) decided that we needed a rest – so I agreed on the principal that I could grab a coffee to take a couple of ibroprofen.  That and the fact that it meant I could have a quick look at the pictures that I had taken so far (and delete the obviously rubbish ones).

Once in the museum, there was an awful lot to read, so I freely admit skipping most of it – but there was one bit that did catch my eye before we went into the main area where Mary Rose herself is located:

Then it was into the main museum.  It was weird lighting (as the photos will show) but it was quite dramatic:

It turns out that ship is still in the cradle that she was raised in – way back in 1982.  It’s only when you see her from the side that you realise that the cradle is still there – supporting her, and that it has been tipped onto its side to display the ship as she would have been.

Then the really exciting bit was when you actually saw her without glass.  We went though a kind of airlock, and then it hit you – you were actually standing in front Mary Rose.  It was quite a surreal experience, and thankfully, the camera held up – I wasn’t sure if the batteries would last, given the amount of time the camera decided it needed the flash!

By this time, my knee was really hurting, and it must have shown on my face, as my partner said that there was no way that we were walking back, as he wasn’t very impressed with the fact that I had practically crippled myself on the walk to the docks, and walking around.  So, bless him, we got a taxi back to the hotel.  

We checked in, and he decided to go for a walk – he wanted to get a paper, and also give me chance to get some rest, and see if I could find anywhere for dinner. Well, the chance to take a rest was welcome – but my knee didn’t want to bend, meaning that it was a nightmare for me to take my socks off.  I managed – after many muttered curses, and then chilled out until my partner came back.

The decision where (and what) to eat was next, as the pair of us hadn’t really eaten during the day, and neither of us really fancied eating in the hotel.  Don’t get me wrong – it was nothing to do with the menu (or the quality of the food) – just more a case of us not wanting all the fuss of dining, and being uncomfortable with a beer on the table, instead of a glass (or bottle) of wine.

So, as he’d spotted a place that looked good, we deicide to take a walk (or in my case hobble) to the 6oz Burger Company.  I have to admit, it wasn’t much to look at, but the food…?  Wow.  It was really good, and nothing was too much trouble for the staff. 

My only regret was that I couldn’t do true justice to the food, simply because my knee was so damned painful.  But I cannot praise the house burger enough – it was really tasty, and I will happily go back for dinner again.

It wasn’t the most restful of nights for me, but that was because of my knee.  It looked like a balloon when I settled down for the night, but thankfully it did go down overnight.  Amazing what anti-inflammatory tablets can do. 

Breakfast was really good – I cannot fault that at all, a good mix of continental and cooked breakfast.  I opted for the continental breakfast as normal, and my partner went for the cooked breakfast – simply because he’s not a fan of croissant. Or a continental breakfast.  But we both agreed that the coffee was good – and it came in a proper coffee pot!

We finished breakfast, and checked out.  We decided to take the car, as we were checking out, and neither of us wanted the hassle of trying to get back to collect the car and head for home. Thankfully, there was a multi-storey car park within 300yds of the main gate, so we didn’t have far to walk if the weather was bad….  

Because of the problems I’d had with my knee the previous day, I’d strapped it up – and made damn sure that I had my walking stick with me – the fold up one that I had put in the car the day before, and not used – like an idiot.  

Again, we had to queue to go through security, but as we had the tickets already it meant that we could go into the docks.  My partner had already said that he wanted to go to the submarine museum.  I knew that I would have to get the water taxi across the harbour to get there, and had invested in a pair of seasickness bands.  But, as the first two trips were fully booked, we opted to visit one of the ships that was very close to the entrance – HMS Warrior.

This was the ship that was the cross-over point from ships like HMS Victory to the true age of iron ships – ones with coal burning engines.  Only Warrior still had her masts:

It was still an impressive ship though – even down to the massive iron doors:

It was still cramped to a certain extent, but it was a lot bigger than Victory – and my partner was quite a bit happier as it meant that he didn’t have to spend all his time ducking the beams. But it was still quite a bit of walking, and I don’t mind admitting that my knee did give me problems. 

What really surprised me were the differences in the accommodation. The officers had their own “bedrooms” instead of hammocks they way they did on Victory:

But the able seamen still had to sleep in hammocks slung across the guns, so some things hadn’t changed that much….

I will admit to having a moment of envy – the massive stove:

It was bigger than my 208, and higher as well.  The heat that it would have kicked out would have been immense, but it did have to cook for the entire crew…

Despite the fact that the ship had coal fired engines, it still relied on sail as well, so that meant that the ship had to have a sail manufacturing area – where they could keep the cloth clean(er) than it would have been if it had been stored out in the open areas of the ship:

One thing that did surprise me was the display of knot work:

I know this is a traditional craft within the Royal Navy, but it was nice to see it displayed on board a ship that would have used it.

The engine rooms were right in the depths of the ship (as you would expect) and the heat from the furnaces would have been incredible.  The museum had mocked up two of the furnaces so that visitors got an idea of what they would look like when they were in use:

The thing that really made it plain that this was a steam powered ship was the speed indicator:

 

As well as the slate that gave all the information on the status of the boilers:

The other thing that did make me smile was the quartermaster’s store.  The sign showed what sort of rations the sailors could expect:

Even down to the rat / mouse on the cheese wheel:

Then it was time for a break before we caught the water taxi across to the submarine museum.  I have to admit, I wasn’t too keen on the idea, but as my partner wanted to go, I agreed on the grounds that I wouldn’t have to sit at the back and could concentrate on keeping my stomach contents where they belonged.

The trip across wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be – but I suspect this was because I was listening to the commentary from the pilot – he was cracking jokes the whole time.  As we got to the submarine museum, we were the last ones off, and I heard one of the crew saying that they needed to get a bucket of water, as someone had been sick.  I have to admit thinking that I was glad I’d not been down the back, as that would have started me off!

The submarine (HMS Astute) was quite spectacular – and because of the internal size there was a time slot allocated to each visitor. So, while we were waiting for the slot, I took the chance to grab a couple of photos:

Once on board, it became apparent just how cramped the submarine really was:

 Thankfully, I don’t suffer from claustrophobia too much, but it was still disconcerting at times:

The kitchen area was tiny – yet the chef still managed to feed the 42 man crew:

The one thing that did make me smile (and I admit I thought it was an urban myth) was the fact that they kept the cases of beer in the torpedo tubes. This was confirmed by one of the volunteers, who was a retired submariner, and he admitted that it was the only place to keep the beer, as the space on the submarine was so limited.

Then it was time to leave HMS Astute, and wait for the water taxi back.  For once, me having my walking stick proved beneficial in more than one way.  There were more people than spaces on the water taxi, and then next one wouldn’t be available for another hour, meaning that we would run the risk of missing out on the harbour tour that I wanted to do.

Because the lady who was in charge of the visitors took pity on my (and my partner) it meant that we could get a place on the taxi.  And this time, I was determined to sit at the back, as I wanted to make sure that I was ok with the movement of the boat *before* going on the harbour tour that lasted ¾ of an hour.

The commentary was good again (the little bit that I could hear over the roar of the engines), and I was more than happy snapping pictures all the way back to the dockyard.

I wasn’t even the slightest bit queasy when we went across the wash of another boat – this time, it was the Solent Cat, taking visitors back to Portsmouth from the Isle of Wight:

So that pretty much confirmed that I was going on the harbour tour.  We queued up, and it was a mad(ish) dash to get the best place.  Me being determined climbed up onto the top deck – right next to the bridge, as this meant that I could bag a corner to hang on to, and take clear pictures of the things that really interested me – like the new aircraft carrier.

We pulled out of the harbour, and I got my first look at the new carrier – without anything in the way.  

There was a really heavy police presence – and they were armed.  I knew that the security would be high, but physically seeing the police launch with the armed officers on it really brought it home to me.

There were quite a few warships in harbour (don’t recall the names – I was too interested in taking photos) and it was amazing to see them as close as we did:

 But the best bit (for me) was being able to see the carrier:

And I didn’t realise just how close the carrier actually was to the Mary Rose Museum and HMS Victory:

All in all, it was well worth the money spent on the seasick bands – they worked like a charm.  Either that or it was sheer bloody mindedness on my part. 

Would I go back?  Yes – without hesitation. The hotel was brilliant, and the dockyard?  I wish I had gone a long time ago, but I guess that it was the right time for me to go.

The only thing that I was disappointed about was the fact that my knee tried to self destruct, and did make it difficult for me at times.  But my partner was a real angel, and made sure that I was ok – and even told me off a couple of times for over doing things, and causing even more pain to myself.  The mere fact that we got to see the new carrier was just the icing on the cake for the pair of us.  I would have liked more time down there, and we’ve made plans to go back at a later date.

Guess I’d better call this quits – I need to get some sleep.

Back when I get chance.

Karen

Our dreams, won’t die
If you remember them each day
Sweet dreams, blue sky
They’re gonna take you all the way
I believe, in you, no lie
Your dreams, won’t die
Your dreams won’t die

Happiness is knowing....

That you've got the tickets for the concert that you wanted to go to.

Yes - I've managed it.  2 tickets for the Magnum concert on the 2nd March 2018 at Birmingham Town Hall.

To say I am a happy bunny is an understatement.  I really didn't expect to get the tickets as easily as I did, and I have told my partner that his ticket will be part of his birthday present.  I mean, what else can you get a fella?

He doesn't wear aftershave, and isn't into fashion, and getting gadgets is not a good idea, as he leaves anything slightly technical to me.  So, being able to get tickets to a group that he likes (and I have gotten into) is a bonus.

Ah well, guess I'd better get read to go back to work, but I'm really *not* in the mood.  Too damned happy.

Karen

Our dreams, won’t die
If you remember them each day
Sweet dreams, blue sky
They’re gonna take you all the way
I believe, in you, no lie
Your dreams, won’t die
Your dreams won’t die

Getting tickets

I know it's been a while since I posted anything, but things are still ticking along nicely for me.  My partner and I have made plans to do quite a bit together, and the one thing that I am trying to do is get concert tickets.

Specifically tickets for a UK rock group - Magnum.  Now I know that those few people who know me well will be surprised that I like this group, but since I've been with my partner, he's really opened my eyes (and my ears) to new music.

Ok - I knew the one Magnum track - "Start talking Love", but that was my limit.  Until he mentioned that he wanted to get an early album - Chase the Dragon.

So, me being me, decided to see what I could find, and ended up listening to the album...  And it made it to my MP3 player....  And then it sort of spiralled from there, as I ended up getting a copy of Storyteller's Night  - again, on my MP3 player.

But this time, it wasn't my partner that got me listening to it.  It was my godsprog - Amber.  She kept nagging me to listen to it (even lent the album to me so that I could listen to it - but not in the car, as  I don't have a CD player) and again, I was hooked.

So now, I'm trying to get the tickets for their new tour:  The Road to Eternity.

Murphy's law states that the tickets go on pre-sale this morning, but can I access them?  Can I hell.  So, I'll have to wait until tomorrow morning, and pray that I can get them.

Ah well, guess I should call this quits - it's nearly time for me to finish lunch.

Back when I get chance.


Karen

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again.

Welcome back to the playpen.

Thie Minion image just sums up everything.

Karen

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again.

Falcons of Royal Leamington Spa

Not something I would normally post, but this just caught my imagination:

The happy couple are nesting in the tower of the Victorian town hall (at the bottom of the Parade) and it's nice to see that the local council have done something to encourage the wildlife - and not just the flying rats (aka feral pigeons).

Karen

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again.

powered by Ivideon

 

You think you're having a bad day.... Part II

This was sent to me by an old friend - and really summed up how I've felt today....

Hi.  My name is Rob, and tonight, I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink which I had just been served, when a large bearded long haired trouble-making biker fellow steps up next to me, grabs my drink, and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly...  At which I immediately burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, “I didn't think you'd cry... I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say to the biker!!

"I'm a complete failure.  I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.  When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance.  I left my wallet in the cab I had to take home.  At home, I found my wife with another man... And then, on top of that, my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all..... I buy a drink..... I drop a capsule in.... And I was sitting here just watching the poison dissolve..... And then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!

But, hell, enough about me,

How are you doing?"

Karen

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again.

You're having a bad day? Not after you read these....!

This was sent to me by an old friend in the States, and had me giggling all day.

Enjoy.

Karen

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again.

Think you are having a bad  day? 

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of  forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire.   The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with  scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. 

A  post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification.  Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. 

It  was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off  the coast, some 20 miles from the forest.  The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets.  Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire. 

You  guessed it.  One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. 

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. But keep reading.... 

  

Still  think  you're  having  a  bad  day? 

A  man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in  the kitchen.  While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. 

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door.   She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the  paramedics and escort them to her husband. 

While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right  the motorcycle and push it outside..  She also quickly blotted up the spilled petrol with some paper towels and tossed them  into the toilet. 

 After  being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his  motorcycle.  He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business.  About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs. 

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband  screaming.  Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance.  The same paramedic crew was dispatched. 

 As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they  asked the wife how he had come to burn himself.  She told  them.  They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband out.  He fell down the  remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

Still having a bad day ? 

Just  remember,  it could be worse.. 

The  average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.  At a special ceremony, two  of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.  A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both. 

 Still  think you are having a bad day  ? 

 A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking  frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire  running from his waist towards the electric kettle.  Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.  Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman. 

   

STILL  think you're having a bad day  ? 

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending  pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany   Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.  The two hapless protesters were  trampled to death. 

  

 What?!   STILL  having a bad day?? 

 Iraqi  terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter  bomb.  It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it.  Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. 

There now, feeling better?

Police dogs...

It's nice to get something funny like this, and on so-called "Blue Monday" I thought it would be a little bit of light relief.

Enjoy.

Karen

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again.

This is perfect for today.

No words necessary.

Karen

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again

Tomorrow

My New Year Resolutions

Karen

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again.

Furious.

It's the only way to describe how I'm feeling at the moment.  I found out at 16:15 this afternoon that my shift had been changed meaning that I was finishing at 17:30.  When I pointed out that I wasn't happy and that I was expecting to finish at 17:00 as usual, I was told "well I have to work over".

How the hell I refrained from pointing out that the person who made that comment seemed to live to work, I don't know.  Needless to say, I sat at my desk quietly fuming.

And these minons just sum up how I feel today.

Karen

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again.

Monday Minion

Well, I guess something had to make me smile today, and these Minions managed it.


Karen

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again.

How I feel.

Not happy

Damn typical of this place.  I have work that I need to do (dratted month end stuff – invoicing - aka “Hell on Earth”) and I get booked for a meeting 9am – 1pm next Tuesday. 

I wouldn’t object – but the person who said I was “free” at this time, didn’t even bother to check with me – just said I would attend the meeting.  It’s well known in the department that the last week of the month you don’t book any meetings / training for me, as I am snowed under sorting out the invoicing for the month, and making sure that nothing is outstanding to cause me problems.

This has been the normal procedure since this person has been in the office, and to say I am unhappy with this is an understatement.  I don’t blame my colleague who told me about this meeting this morning – I am just seriously racked off that no-one thought to check with me first.

So, I will attend the meeting – with a smile on my face, but will make damn sure that the person who said that I was “free to attend” knows my feelings, and that I am attending under protest.

Guess I should call this quits – nearly at the end of my lunch break – let alone my tether this afternoon.


Karen

I tell myself
Hey only fools rush in and only time will tell 
If we stand the test of time 
All I know 
You've got to run to win and 
I'll be damned if 
I'll get hung up on the line

Footnote

I get "asked" if I am OK with the meeting that has been arranged, and when I say I am not due to the invoicing, I am told "tough - it's happening".  If that's the case, then why bother even asking me??

When I try to point out that I do have high priority work that needs to be done at month end, it's swept under the carpet, basically ignoring the fact that I am being pulled in two different directions, and will be under even more pressure to complete the work as well as everything else that I am expected to do.  

Needless to say I am less than impressed, and am very tempted to call a colleague and give them the heads up on this, but I can see that if I did that, I would cause no end of problems with someone who thinks that they know what my workload is

Footnote pt 2

Well, I took the plunge and spoke to my colleague who I usually liaise with over the invoicing, and it turns out that he had been warned of this meeting. I admitted that I wasn't impressed over the timing, but thankfully, there are contingency plans in place to make sure that the invoicing gets sorted out.  I won't say that I am any happier about the meeting, but I feel slightly easier where the invoicing is concerned.

Never forget

Monday feelings

This is how I feel today.

How insect eating plants persuade insects to pollinate them

There have been quite a few articles about carnivorous plants just recently, and this one caught my eye.  It’s courtesy of the BBC Earth website, and I’ve linked this post to the original one.

Enjoy.

Karen

I tell myself
Hey only fools rush in and only time will tell
If we stand the test of time
All I know
You've got to run to win and I'll be damned if
I'll get hung up on the line

********

How insect eating plants persuade insects to pollinate them

Eating insects makes good evolutionary sense for plants living in barren soil with few nutrients. But how do the plants avoid eating the insect pollinators they rely on to reproduce?

·    By Yao-Hua Law

11 October 2016

Grubs gnaw roots, maggots munch fruits and caterpillars chew leaves. In textbook food chains, animals eat plants, not the other way round.But there are plant species that break this rule – at least 600 species of them on the last count. These are the carnivorous plants, and they routinely feast on insects, spiders, worms – even potentially small mammals.

Life for a carnivorous plant is challenging. They cannot very well march across the landscape in search of a meal. Dinner has to come to them. The plants have evolved sticky leaves, water pots and the like to catch animals, but how – if at all – do they lure their prey into these traps?

A study published in February 2016 shows for the first time that some carnivorous plants use smells to secure meals – validating an idea that Charles Darwin suggested 140 years ago.

Darwin worked on the sundews, a type of predatory plant with leaves covered in tentacles, each tentacle having a drop of sticky fluid at its tip. Darwin described the sticky leaves as"temporary stomachs"with which the plants catch live prey, break it down with acids, and "feed like animals".

Drosera spatulata. Pollinators are guided to the flowers by visual cues, and protected from the traps by spatial separation (Credit: Ashraf El-Sayed)

"It's common to analyse plant volatiles, so it's quite amazing that nobody has tested Darwin's hypothesis," says chemical ecologist Ashraf El-Sayed at the New Zealand Institute for Plant & Food Research Limited.

Studying sundews in New Zealand, El-Sayed's team found that one species, Drosera auriculata, uses smells to lure prey. Their leaves emit volatiles that beckon gnats, midges and mosquitoes.

"I was working on lure-and-kill tactics in pest management when I realised that wow, carnivorous plants have been at it for a very long time," says El-Sayed.

Carnivorous plants face a more profound problem: sex

Carnivory evolved independently at least six times across the plant kingdom.  Carnivorous plants live in places like bogs and rocky slopes where the soil – if there is any – is so nutrient-poor that few plants can survive.  Carnivorous plants eke out a living here because they converged on the same solution to the nutrient problem: animals are nutritious, so eat them.

But the path to meat-eating is costly. As plants transform their leaves into traps that can trick, bind, drown, and digest prey, they gradually become less effective for harnessing sunlight to produce energy. Therefore, most carnivorous plants grow slowly and stay small.

Beyond that carnivorous plants face a more profound problem: sex.

Drosera arcturi (Credit: Andreas Jürgens)

Like many plants, carnivorous plants produce flowers when they are ready to reproduce. Most of these flowers appear suitable for insect-pollination – again, in keeping with many plants.

The trouble is that many carnivorous plants trap and kill insects. They are faced with a unique dilemma called "pollinator-prey conflict": they need to eat insects without jeopardising their chances of being pollinated by insects.

The most obvious way to protect pollinators is to keep flowers away from traps

 For example, a carnivorous plant from Spain called Pinguicula vallisneriifolia could produce more seeds if its flowers receive more pollinators. But sticky leaves mere inches away from the flowers kill a good number of those pollinators.

The carnivorous plant's challenge is to avoid confusing the insects it needs to eat with the insects it relies on for pollination. Studies suggest that most carnivorous plants handle this challenge very well.
There is often very little overlap between the insects visiting flowers and those dying in traps.

Somehow, carnivorous plants can separate pollinators from prey.

A yellow pitcher plant (Sarracenia alata) (Credit: John Abbott/naturepl.com)

The most obvious way to protect pollinators is to keep flowers away from traps. Some carnivorous plants do this by making sure their flowers bloom and die before the traps open. A field survey of 560 Sarracenia alata pitcher plants found only five with flowers and pitchers active at the same time.

Many carnivorous plants seem to spare their pollinators

 There is another option. One-third of carnivorous plants have removed all risks of pollinator-prey conflict by growing their traps underwater and keeping their flowers above ground. Many carnivorous plants also raise their flowers on long stalks. Some researchers speculate that long stalks serve to distance pollinators from traps.

But the role of long stalks in protecting pollinators remains debated. Some plants extend their flowers on stalks even though pollinators cannot reach their traps: bladderworts (Utricularia), for instance, have stalked flowers despite the fact that their traps lie underground.

Furthermore, a survey of more than 50 sundew species } found that plants closer to ground grow longer stalks than those higher up. Some scientists argue that carnivorous plants evolve long stalks to better attract flying pollinators rather than to better protect them.

A greater bladderwort (Utricularia vulgaris) (Credit: Ingo Arndt/naturepl.com)

Whether or not their flowers are far from traps, many carnivorous plants seem to spare their pollinators. This suggests that the plants have another way to mitigate pollinator-prey conflict.

We suspected that the plants might be using other cues to guide the insects

We studied three sundew species with different distances between flowers and sticky leaves," says El-Sayed.

The sundews were lethal – less than 20% of insects caught on leaves escaped. But in all three species, less than 5% of insects caught on leaves were also found in flowers.

"We suspected that the plants might be using other cues to guide the insects," says El-Sayed.
El-Sayed found that Drosera auriculata – the species whose flowers grow closest to its leaves – has flowers that smell distinct from its leaves.

El-Sayed then exposed insects to synthetic blends of these odours. He found that flower odours attract floral visitors – insect pollinators – while leaf odours deter them. Only insects that the sundews usually eat are attracted by the leaf odours.

Some of these chemicals might help us manage pests

This means D. auriculata is the first carnivorous plant known to use odours both to lure prey and protect pollinators.

However, the other two sundews in El-Sayed's study, D. spatulata and D. arcturi, have scentless sticky leaves and flowers that grow further apart. Floral visitors prefer the white colour of flowers, while prey do not discriminate between flower and trap colours.

So instead of smells, D. spatulata and D. arcturi use visual signals and separation to protect pollinators.

Drosera auriculata. The flower and trap emit different odours, guiding pollinators safely to the flower (Credit: Friends of Black Hill/Morialta Inc)

"D. spatulata and D. arcturi grow in open sites. Their flowers are often the highest points around," says El-Sayed. Potential pollinators flying by would likely find the flowers easily even without odours. "Investing in odours to guide pollinators would not be cost-effective in these sundews."

 D. auriculata is the first carnivorous plant known to use odours both to lure prey and protect pollinators

 El-Sayed hopes that the discovery of carnivorous plant odours will stimulate new research and applications for the chemicals.

His team has now begun studying a pitcher plant that emits even more complex and distinct smells than those he found studying sundews. "Who knows? Some of these chemicals might help us manage pests," he says.

Carnivorous plants so captivated Darwin that he called them "the most wonderful plants in the world". After tens of millions of years of juggling hunger and sex, these wonderful plants have evolved into effective and selective killers. Their adaptations could well be a treasure vault that we have just begun to unlock.

Bringing petrol to the (wealthy) people

Sometimes, I wonder if the BBC publishes things for a joke, but reading it further, I realise it's serious.

See what you think of this....

Karen

I tell myself
Hey only fools rush in and only time will tell
If we stand the test of time
All I know
You've got to run to win and I'll be damned if
I'll get hung up on the line

********************

Bringing petrol to the (wealthy) people

Bentley Motors has commenced trials of a smartphone-powered fuel-delivery service that promises to ease the burden for those too posh to pump.

• By David K Gibson
        5 October 2016


There are millions of people who have considered purchasing a Bentley. The vast majority of them have decided against it after discovering that the vehicles require regular injections of a noxious and combustible substance known as “petrol” (street names: gasolina, hi-test, Slurpee). Worse, this petrol must be procured from specialised dispensing stations, most of which lurk beneath freeway flyovers and in rough parts of town.

But Continental considerers may reach once again for their chequebooks, thanks to this week’s announcement of an on-demand fuel-delivery service. Rather than sully their tyres on the macadam of a BP drive-through, Bentley owners may now use a smartphone app to notify “Filld for Bentley” that their automobile requires a bit of that nasty stuff and have it delivered to the bemarbled cul-de-sacs of their vast estates. A truck of petrol will arrive at the appointed time, zeroing in on the car’s location and unlocking its fuel cap, and then dispense only the highest quality petrochemicals (garnished with an artisan Bourbon-cardamom cherry*) into the awaiting tank. The service will roll out first in California, because where else would an on-demand fuel-delivery startup start up?

The service will roll out first in California, because where else would an on-demand fuel-delivery startup start up? 

Filld for Bentley is a part of the marque’s Connected Car initiative, a suite of technologies that makes the vehicles part of the Internet of (very expensive) Things. The goal, according to Christophe Georges, Bentley’s Director of Product and Marketing, is to provide Bentley owners with “the greatest luxury of all: more time.” Further advances of the fuel delivery service may include predictive fuel ordering, in which your car will autonomously call Filld to arrange a discreet pump, meaning that you, Bentley owner, need never think about stopping for gas again. And for an extra monthly fee, Filld will even place a paint-matched silicone disk over your Mullsanne’s fuel cap,* so you need never be reminded of the existence of petrol.

This is clearly a valuable service, one that is not ridiculous in any way, but — as habitual contrarians — we feel that we must raise some thorny issues.

Is not the whole point of having an amazing car to drive it to places where there are guaranteed to be other, lesser cars?

• Does Filld charge for the petrol that their delivery trucks burn getting to your Bentley? And do you have to tip for that, too?

• Where will the wealthy procure their Slim Jims? (Note to self: Pitch investors on Jerx, the Uber of desiccated meat product delivery services.)

• How will we monitor the health of Demi Lovato without regular paparazzi shots of her filling up her Bentayga?

We are confident that the engineers of Bentley Motors are hard at work on those problems.



*These features have not been specifically announced, but may be reasonably inferred.

This says it all.

This was sent to me by an old friend of my father's - and no words are necessary.

                                                                                      

Karen 


I tell myself
Hey only fools rush in and only time will tell
If we stand the test of time
All I know
You've got to run to win and I'll be damned if
I'll get hung up on the line