You're having a bad day? Not after you read these....!

This was sent to me by an old friend in the States, and had me giggling all day.

Enjoy.

Karen

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again.

Think you are having a bad  day? 

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of  forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire.   The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with  scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. 

A  post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification.  Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. 

It  was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off  the coast, some 20 miles from the forest.  The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets.  Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire. 

You  guessed it.  One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. 

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. But keep reading.... 

  

Still  think  you're  having  a  bad  day? 

A  man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in  the kitchen.  While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. 

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door.   She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the  paramedics and escort them to her husband. 

While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right  the motorcycle and push it outside..  She also quickly blotted up the spilled petrol with some paper towels and tossed them  into the toilet. 

 After  being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his  motorcycle.  He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business.  About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs. 

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband  screaming.  Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance.  The same paramedic crew was dispatched. 

 As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they  asked the wife how he had come to burn himself.  She told  them.  They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband out.  He fell down the  remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

Still having a bad day ? 

Just  remember,  it could be worse.. 

The  average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.  At a special ceremony, two  of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.  A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both. 

 Still  think you are having a bad day  ? 

 A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking  frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire  running from his waist towards the electric kettle.  Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.  Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman. 

   

STILL  think you're having a bad day  ? 

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending  pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany   Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.  The two hapless protesters were  trampled to death. 

  

 What?!   STILL  having a bad day?? 

 Iraqi  terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter  bomb.  It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it.  Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. 

There now, feeling better?