Sometimes, I get a real gem of an e-mail land in my in box, and this is one of them...
Enjoy.
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
(Brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon,because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
(I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Am I losing the plot?
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Karen
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Today is one of those days when I'm beginning to wonder if I'm losing my marbles. The reason? I've had to arrange to get some tyres collected, as they were delivered in error. What's causing me to think I'm losing my marbles?
It's been suggested that it was me that told someone how to release an order off the system! But the worst part for me, is the fact that I cannot recall ever doing such a thing and people are now starting to blame me for the error.
That would be acceptable with me, if I was the guilty party, but I am certain that I haven't told anyone how do do such a thing, and it's really getting to me.
It doesn't help with certain people having a "holier than thou" attitude, almost as if they never make a mistake. And, if I have the nerve to mention it, then this person gets on their high horse and spouts even more crap!
Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I'm starting to get a migraine and I really don't need the hassle today.
Back later, if the migrane doesn't develop.
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
It's been suggested that it was me that told someone how to release an order off the system! But the worst part for me, is the fact that I cannot recall ever doing such a thing and people are now starting to blame me for the error.
That would be acceptable with me, if I was the guilty party, but I am certain that I haven't told anyone how do do such a thing, and it's really getting to me.
It doesn't help with certain people having a "holier than thou" attitude, almost as if they never make a mistake. And, if I have the nerve to mention it, then this person gets on their high horse and spouts even more crap!
Ah well, guess I should call this quits - I'm starting to get a migraine and I really don't need the hassle today.
Back later, if the migrane doesn't develop.
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
The History of the Middle Finger
Posted by
Karen
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Somethings are worth shareing - and this was one of them...
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
Well, now... Here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.
This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew').
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!
Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'
IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing!
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
Well, now... Here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.
This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew').
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!
Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'
IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing!
Catching the book bug....
Posted by
Karen
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Those rare people who know me, know that I am quite a keen reader, and I am only too pleased to share the book that I am reading at the moment. It's called Winning is not enough, and is Sir Jackie Stewart's autobiography.
I admit to having tried to read this book several times, but I never really seemed to settle with it... Until today. And I can't put it down!
It details his life, from his humble beginning as the youngest son of a garage owner in Dumbarton, to becoming one of the greats of motor racing. I've just finished the chapter where he described the horror of losing friends in various racing accidents, and the lengths that he and the GPDA (Grand Prix Drivers Association) went to to improve safety at the various circuits.
Reading the descriptions of the various accidents brought home to me just how much the current set of racers owe to people like him, as the last fatality on a race track was that horrible weekend in May 1994, when Roland Ratzenberger and the great Ayrton Senna were killed at Imola.
But this is not the only autobigraphy that I've read in the past week or so... I've also read Eric Clapton's autobiography.
This book really moved me, and again, was one that I found difficult to put down. It dealt with everything from his early childhood, through to his breakthrough with the Yardbirds, the formation of the world's first so-called super groups (Cream) and the subsequent development of his career.
The one bit that I did find hard to read was the description of the death of his son, Connor and the subsequent events. It made me realise that there is a lot more to his songs than just great guitar chords.
When I finish Winning is Not Enough, I'll do a full review, as I think it is a book that really merits a post of its own...
Guess I should call this quits - my lunchbreak is nearly over.
Back when I get chance.
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I admit to having tried to read this book several times, but I never really seemed to settle with it... Until today. And I can't put it down!It details his life, from his humble beginning as the youngest son of a garage owner in Dumbarton, to becoming one of the greats of motor racing. I've just finished the chapter where he described the horror of losing friends in various racing accidents, and the lengths that he and the GPDA (Grand Prix Drivers Association) went to to improve safety at the various circuits.
Reading the descriptions of the various accidents brought home to me just how much the current set of racers owe to people like him, as the last fatality on a race track was that horrible weekend in May 1994, when Roland Ratzenberger and the great Ayrton Senna were killed at Imola.
But this is not the only autobigraphy that I've read in the past week or so... I've also read Eric Clapton's autobiography.
This book really moved me, and again, was one that I found difficult to put down. It dealt with everything from his early childhood, through to his breakthrough with the Yardbirds, the formation of the world's first so-called super groups (Cream) and the subsequent development of his career.
The one bit that I did find hard to read was the description of the death of his son, Connor and the subsequent events. It made me realise that there is a lot more to his songs than just great guitar chords.
When I finish Winning is Not Enough, I'll do a full review, as I think it is a book that really merits a post of its own...
Guess I should call this quits - my lunchbreak is nearly over.
Back when I get chance.
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
Feeling blue, but I don’t know why…
Posted by
Karen
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Ever had one of those days when you feel like bursting into tears for no apparent reason? Well, I’m having one today. Why I’m feeling like this, God only knows, but I wish that there was something I could do to make myself feel better – even if it’s only to identify what has caused this.
The only thing that I think that might have caused me to feel like this is the fact that I got a very poor night’s sleep last night, and as I get older, that tends to knock eight shades of a rainbow out of me, and does have this tendency to make me feel low.
Ah well, guess I should throw myself into my work, and try and bury this feeling, and hope that I manage to smother it that way, otherwise, I am truly stuffed!
Back later if I get chance…
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
The only thing that I think that might have caused me to feel like this is the fact that I got a very poor night’s sleep last night, and as I get older, that tends to knock eight shades of a rainbow out of me, and does have this tendency to make me feel low.
Ah well, guess I should throw myself into my work, and try and bury this feeling, and hope that I manage to smother it that way, otherwise, I am truly stuffed!
Back later if I get chance…
Karen
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
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