Why we like the British - From British Newspapers!

This got sent to me, and I just couldn’t resist posting it….

Why we like the British - From British Newspapers!

1. Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.”

(The Daily Telegraph)

2. Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend.

(The Manchester Evening News)

3. Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.

(The Guardian)

4. A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common.”
(The Times)

5. At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.

(Aberdeen Evening Express)

6. Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'"
(Bournemouth Evening Echo)

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Let go of the past

Your journey has moulded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think that you've lost time. There is no shortcutting to life. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.


No regrets. As we become more aware, we begin to realize that there's a purpose to everything that happens. This builds our trust, and supports us in being willing to be more open and daring to really experience life as it unfolds.

I don't think anymore needs to be said.

Karen

Learing to fly, but I don't have wings

Hell explained by chemistry student.

This was too good not to post….


Hell explained by chemistry student.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Danger – incoming jokes…

Can’t I tell that my friend is back from sick leave. The jokes are coming in thick and fast – and only some of them are postable! This was one of the ones that did make me smile….

A fireman is polishing his fire engine outside the fire station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red cart with little ladders hung on the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The little girl is wearing a fireman's helmet and has the cart tied to a dog and a cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look:

"That's a lovely fire engine,” he says admiringly.

“Thanks” says the little girl. The fireman looks closer and notices the little girl has tied one of the cart's strings to the dog's collar and one to the cat's testicles.

“Little colleague,” says the fire-fighter, “I don't want to tell you how to run your fire engine, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could probably go a lot faster.”

The little girl pauses for a moment, looks at the wagon, at the dog and at the cat, then shyly looks into the fireman's eyes and says:

“You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a f**king siren, would I?”

Another joke that came from the same source also made me smile….

One of Florida's finest senior citizens went down to his local Chevrolet dealer and bought a brand new Corvette convertible. Heading off the car lot and down the road, he floored it and enjoyed the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.

"This is great," he thought as he roared down I-75.

Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a Florida State Highway Patrol Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him with no problem," thought the man as he stood on the gas pedal -- 80, 120, 150, 180 mph.

Then, he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing."

He pulled over to the side of the Interstate and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.

The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the Corvette.

"Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked at the trooper and said: "Fifteen years ago, my wife
Ran off with a Florida State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the trooper

And a final thought…

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are dose?, asks the attendant. "They're called tees," replies Tiger.

"Well, what on god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.

"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving,” says Tiger.

"Fookin Jaysus,” says the Irishman, "BMW tinks of everyting!"

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Good news from the front

Well, my friend is back from the hospital, and has been told that he snores. Ok – not breaking news as such, but they (the hospital) have said that he may need a small operation, which may or may not cure his hearing problem.

He won’t know what the verdict is until he goes back to the hospital in six months time, but until then, he can’t really do very much apart from put up with it.

Suppose I’d better call this quits – we’re short staffed due to some meeting or other, and I’m suffering from a severe case of TNFI…

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Knackered, and glad it’s Friday

I slept like a log last night, but I’m still tired. I guess it’s as a result of going to see the chiropractor, who managed to put several of my vertebrae back into position, after I was kicked by Flame.

Ok – I admit that the body armour took most of the impact, but there was still damage done. Thankfully, my chiropractor has been able to sort most of it out, but I still have to go back to see him on Tuesday night to finish the job off.

Aside from that, I’m worried about my daft friend, who has to go to the hospital today, to see what can be done about the ringing in his ears. The poor guy has been suffering with this for quite a while, and he’s finally gotten fed up enough to get his GP to do something about this for him.

Guess I should call this quits – I’m supposed to be working, but to be honest, I can think of quite a few places that I would rather be, other than here!

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings.

Another joke…

Amazing what I get sent – and I’m afraid this is so true….

New Staff Recruitment Procedure

Put about 100 bricks in no particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone, come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks - put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them - put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks - put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order - put them in planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other - put them in construction.

If they are sleeping - put them in reception.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces - put them in IT.

If they are sitting idle - put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved - put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day - put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the window - put them on strategic planning.

And then last but not least:

If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved – congratulate them and put them in management!

Karen

Learning to fly but I don’t have wings

Feeling more awake…

There’s something about talking to a good friend at lunchtime to make you smile. I was talking to my friend, and he sounded so much brighter than he has done for a while. He said that he’d been to see a chiropractor, who’d put four vertebrae in his lower back into position.

He sounded so much brighter, and said that he has to go back on Saturday morning and on Monday as well, as he has some problems that the chiropractor was hoping to be able to cure for him. He’s hoping to be much more mobile when I go and see him the end of this month.

Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend don't break, baby don't back down

That made me smile, and I admitted that I was going to be going to see my chiropractor tonight, as I’ve still got problems with my back – but this stems from when I got kicked, as I somehow flexed my back, and managed to put things out of position.

We got talking about other things, and he made me laugh quite a bit – which still hurts my ribs, but it was well worth the pain as he always manages to make me smile… Especially as he said that the weekend I was down there, he was going to make it a really good weekend for the pair of us…

Getaway - ya know it's now or never
Getaway - nobody lives forever
We’re only waitin' just to make our getaway

Guess I should think about doing some w*rk, but I have to admit, I’m suffering from a severe case of TNFI…

Back when I get chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Tired little tigger…

Ever had one of those occasions where you just couldn’t settle down to sleep? Well I had one last night – simply because I was worried about a friend.

Because he’s off sick as a result of this accident, his company are making it plain that they think he’s pulling the wool over their eyes, even though he’s been signed off by the doctor, and has been told that they want to reclaim the money that they pay him whilst he’s off from any compensation that he may get.

Needless to say, he’s not very happy, and has admitted that he is going to start seriously looking for another job.

As for me, well I did my best to settle down and get some sleep, but it was a combination of factors that stopped me – the pain from my shoulder (which is still playing up), the pain from my ribs (which are still healing) and the worry about my friend.

I know what he’ll tell me – that he’s ok, and that I shouldn’t worry about him, but it’s easier said than done, as he’s off to the doctor’s today… How do I know this? Simple – he sent me a text message this morning:

…. I’m going to my docs again today, so I’ll let you know when I get back and what I’m doing…

I just hope that he does manage to get something sorted out, as the poor guy can’t keep on like this, and more to the point, he needs to be able to sort things out with regards to his job – because all it’s doing at the moment is flattening him, and making him unhappy – not to mention ill.

If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting
Time after time

But, at the end of the day, all I can do is act as a shoulder for him to lean on, and give him a friendly ear that he can bend when he needs it…

Guess I should call this quits – I’m supposed to be working, not blogging.

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Start the day with a smile.... And get it over with!

This was something that did make me smile, and I just couldn't resist posting it....

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ....they're cramming for their final exam.

17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

19. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

24. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS!!!"
Guess I should think about doing some work, but I've got a severe case of TNFI...

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

You're off for how long???

Well, my friend has been to see his GP, and has been signed off for three weeks! The poor guy didn't sound too good, and said that he felt like he was getting no support from the company that he works for, as they seem to be giving the impression that he's pulling a fast one.

If it had been anyone other than him, I would have been inclined to agree, but I know him well enough to know that he struggles into work - even when I tell him that he's not fit enough to be in.

But, I get the feeling that he's going to need a daft ear to bend, and I'll do my best to help him.

Guess that I should call this quits - I've got to sort the furry fiends out before I crawl into my pit...

Back tomorrow.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Worrying about a friend...

Getting a message like this at 07:15 in the morning is not a good sign...

Good morning Kaz, just to say that I am going back to the hospital.
I can't move much this morning, so I'm leaving now and not going in.
Will let you know what's going on later. Take good care..

Poor sod. I will admit to being worried about him until I called him at lunchtime. He'd finally escaped from the hospital, and had been told that he'd either sprained his back or shifted a disc.

The bit that did make me wonder was the mere fact that the hospital told him that he had to go to his GP if he wanted a sick note, as they were unable to sign him off.

That struck me as a little peculiar, but as he lives in a different region to me, it could be that his local NHS trust has a different policy to the one here - the consultant in A & E tried to sign me me off when I went to see him with broken ribs!

Time to call this quits - I want to veg out..

Back tomorrow.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Next time you think you are having a bad day in the office ...

I'm sorry - this was too good not to post!

*************************************************

Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers. He performs underwater repairs on off-shore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.

She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,


Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I must first bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my BR chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Trying to re-assure a friend...

Trying to re-assure a friend that he’s not going crazy after his car accident is not an easy thing to do.

He sent me the following text:

Kaz, please talk to me.

I called him and the poor guy was nearly in tears, and said that he was scared of being in a car. He admitted that he was constantly looking in the rear-view mirror, and hated being in traffic.

It was really distressing for me to hear him so upset, and I did my best to re-assure him that he wasn’t going mad, and that it was a normal reaction given what had happened to him yesterday.

But, at the end of the day, all I can do is re-assure him, and give him whatever help and assistance I can over the 'phone, and when I see him, make him realise that he's a really special guy to me, and that I would (and will) move Heaven & Earth to help him if he needs my help.

Time to call this quits - it's about the time Mum gets home from the late shift.

Back tomorrow.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

I must have been a real b'stard in a previous existance...

What makes me say that? Simple. It's not been a good day for me at all.

First of all, I woke up this morning to discover a water leak in the bathroom, meaning that we've had to call out an emergency plumber to fix the leak (the toilet cistern feed was leaking), plus there have been tiles comming off the wall in the kitchen, as the water soaked through the floorboards and loosened the adhesive.

Then, I sent a text message to my friend asking if he was ok, only to get the following reply:

Kaz, I can't talk now - I'll call you in a bit.

I will admit to feeling slightly apprehensive, and then when I got this message from him - I burst into tears!

Hiya, I'm sorry to say the GTi is in a bad way. I've just been involved in an RTA, but I'm at home.

As soon as I was calm enough (which took a few seconds), I called him. It turned out that he'd been shunted into the back of another car when he was comming back from an escape, and was fairly sure that the car was going to be a write off.

I will admit to nagging him to go to the hospital though, and asked him to let me know that he was ok - which he did so. It turns out that he has whiplash, and that he hurts like hell.

But, as far as I'm concerned, he's in one piece. Cars are bits of metals that can be repaired or replaced - but flesh and blood is infinitely more important.

Time to call this quits - I need to get to bed.

Back tomorrow if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Trying to salvage a friendship....

Sometimes, I feel like a real low life. I got a text from an old friend of mine, that really upset me...

Not heard from you for a month, Mum died on Feb 20.

Where was my friend when I needed you?

I mean, when the hell can you say to a text like that??? I will admit, I had to think fast on my feet, and sent a reply saying that I'd been out of the country, and had only just gotten back.

Thankfully, my friend didn't hold a grudge against me, and we got talking about various things, and I will admit, when I put the 'phone down, I was quite upset.

But, as luck would have it, I was able to speak to my daft friend later, and he said that he was a little bit upset because he was getting rid of his current bike, but was looking forward to getting the new one.

I thought I'd managed to hide the fact that I was feeling down, but obviously, I didn't do it well enough, and he asked whet was wrong. When I told him about the 'phone call I'd had, he seemed quite quite upset that I hadn't called him.

It wasn't a case of not wanting to call him - I did - I just needed time to get my emotions under some form of control, as I could see myself bursting into tears on the 'phone, as all the previous phone call had done was dig up the memories and emotions that I had done my best to bury after Dad died.

Guess I should call this quits - I need to get some sleep tonight...

Back tomorrow if I get the chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

More rotten jokes…

It’s at times like this when you realise just who your friends really are – they’re the ones who go out of their way to make you smile and laugh (even if it does hurt like hell to do so!)

I get all sorts of jokes sent to me, but this was one that really did make me flinch with pain, simply because I was laughing so much!

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman Pinscher and the other had a Chihuahua. As they sauntered down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar and get something to drink."

The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

The one with the Doberman said, "Just follow my lead." They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in. The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."

The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my Seeing Eye dog." The bouncer said, "A Doberman pinscher?" The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."

The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."

The lady with the Chihuahua figured convincing him a Chihuahua was a seeing eye dog may be too far fetched, but thought "what the heck", so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.

Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."

The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my Seeing Eye dog."

The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"

The woman with the Chihuahua said, "A Chihuahua? They gave me a fuckin' Chihuahua???!!"

Back tomorrow, if my ribs have improved any…

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

In a world of pain…

I’m beginning to wonder if I should be in… I slipped in the kitchen last night, and fell and landed against the edge of the sink… Ok – not normally a big problem, but I landed on the side that had the cracked ribs…

I called my friend and we spoke for a while, until he persuaded me to go to the hospital to get myself checked out… I will admit, I felt guilty about asking Mum to take me to the A&E department, but when she saw the state I was in, I got earache for not telling her earlier!

I got home at 00:45, and could just about see straight enough to send my friend a message to let him know that I was ok, but I will admit to being spaced out of my brain cell (I’d had a pethadine jab) – I felt like I was floating! (Now I know how Fred must feel on catnip!)

I sent him an e-mail to say I was in the office, and he replied, telling me that I shouldn’t be in…

…hope you are ok but the drugs must have done your head in. What are you doing in work you silly girl? Just make sure that whoever needs to know knows about your situation.

 It’s nearly time for me to take some more painkillers – and I don’t know when I’ll be back to updating this, as my ribs are hurting the whole time I’m sitting at the computer…

Back when I get relatively pain-free…

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Something to brighten a dreary day…

I’m bored. However, I’m lucky enough to have people out in the big bad world who’ll send me such gems as this:

WHY I AM TIRED
For a couple years, I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax build-up, poor blood circulation, or anything else I could think of.
But now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. Based on our own Government statistics here's why:
The population of this country is 273 million.
140 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 14.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time, there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are sitting on your butt, at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice.
Guess I should get on with some w*rk, but I’m suffering from a severe lack of interest…

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Planning another escape…

I get back from one escape, and I immediately start planning another escape – with the same person!

This time, it’s the Italian car day at Brooklands, and from what I’ve been told, it should be one hell of a weekend. Apparently, there are loads of cars there, and you get the chance to walk around, ask questions and get your sticky little mitts on them as well!

I’ve got to admit, I’m really looking forward to this, and all I need to do is find out what date this is, and see if Mum’s got anything planned, as the last thing I want to do is upset her…

Guess I should call this quits - I’m supposed to be working…

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings