When the jokes start rolling in…

This was sent to me, and made me smile, so I couldn't resist posting it!

Enjoy.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

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Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"? The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: "The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension. Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold

Cinderella said, "Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother. The fairy godmother replied, "It is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?" Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had." At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned.

Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years. And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?" Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had seen. Then the fairy godmother said, "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life. With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she hadseen. Thenn.Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, & held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered..........

"Bet you're sorry you neutered me."

The other joke that made me smile was this one...

Two alligators

Two alligators were sittin' at the side of a swamp near Washington, DC. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "Ah can't understand how you kin be so much bigger 'n me. We're the same age; we was the same size as kids. Ah just don't git it."

"Well," said the big 'gaiter, "What you been eatin', boy?"

"Politicians, same as you," replied the small 'gator.

"Hmm. Well, where do ya catch 'em?"

"Down at t'other side of the swamp, near the parkin' lot by the Capitol."

"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"

"Well, ah crawls up under one o' them Lexus and wait fer one to unlock the door. Then, ah jump out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em up!"

"Aw!" says the big alligator, "Ah thinks ah see yer problem. Ya ain't gettin' any real nourishment. See, by the time you get done shakin' the shit outta a politician, there ain't nothin' left but an asshole and a briefcase."