Just a little something that made me smile…
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
****************************************************************************
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true,' she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so" the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
****************************************************************************
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've travelled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
****************************************************************************
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft...
Today, it's called golf..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.
The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"
The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old , tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing a mini skirt. What does your wife look like?"
To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter, let's look for yours."
****************************************************************************
Lord, Keep Your arm around my shoulder, and Your hand over my mouth!
More jokes
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Well, the jokes are comming in thick and fast today - and it's not even 09:00. So, I've posted the best ones here.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************************
Italian Confession
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini , Italy , went to the local church for confession.
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:
"Father.. During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our
neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that."
"There is more to tell, Father.. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays."
The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."
"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question."
"And what is that?" asked the priest.
"Should I tell her the war is over?"
And this one:
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************************
Italian Confession
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini , Italy , went to the local church for confession.
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:
"Father.. During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our
neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that."
"There is more to tell, Father.. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays."
The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."
"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question."
"And what is that?" asked the priest.
"Should I tell her the war is over?"
And this one:
Darwin Award Nominees 2009
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
I make no apologies for this – it always makes me laugh.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************************
Once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees.
"The Darwins" are awarded every year to the persons who died in the stupidest manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool.
Here is the official 2009 list. Notice the interesting spin for this year's first place award which comes to us - from of all places, Arkansas. How surprising is that?
This year's nominees are:
Nominee No. 1 :
(San Jose Mercury News):
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2 :
(Kalamazoo Gazette):
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft.
Nominee No. 3:
(Hickory Daily Record):
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
Nominee No. 4:
(UPI, Toronto):
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings' windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.
Nominee No. 5:
(The News of the Weird):
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6:
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN. A Jay Countryman, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 7:
(Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario):
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. "Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony."
Finally, THE WINNER!!!:
(Arkansas Democrat Gazette):
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the 22 calibre bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering- wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge After travelling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate again as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank Goodness we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off, or we might both be dead," stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole 's wife), asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck. Priorities, after all!!
Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************************
Once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees.
"The Darwins" are awarded every year to the persons who died in the stupidest manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool.
Here is the official 2009 list. Notice the interesting spin for this year's first place award which comes to us - from of all places, Arkansas. How surprising is that?
This year's nominees are:
Nominee No. 1 :
(San Jose Mercury News):
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2 :
(Kalamazoo Gazette):
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft.
Nominee No. 3:
(Hickory Daily Record):
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
Nominee No. 4:
(UPI, Toronto):
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings' windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.
Nominee No. 5:
(The News of the Weird):
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6:
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN. A Jay Countryman, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 7:
(Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario):
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. "Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony."
Finally, THE WINNER!!!:
(Arkansas Democrat Gazette):
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the 22 calibre bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering- wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge After travelling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate again as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank Goodness we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off, or we might both be dead," stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole 's wife), asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck. Priorities, after all!!
Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.
Another year older.
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Well, another birthday has been (and almost gone), and allegedly as you get older, you’re supposed to feel wiser. I certainly haven’t, so I think that myth has, in the infamous words of the MythBuster team “been well and truly busted”.
Today started on a surprising note for me. My alarm had gone off at 07:25, and I was doing my best to ignore it, when my phone rang. Now normally, I would ignore it, and go back to sleep.
But not for this call, because it was my beloved. The fact that he’d taken the time to call me (ok, it was 07:30) really started the day off with a smile. He sang “happy birthday” to me, and said that when we met up, he would give me my birthday hug when he saw me, but that he was sending me virtual hugs all day.
It was then time for me to crawl out of my pit and get ready for work, but I have to admit that it was with real reluctance that I got up as I was nice and warm in bed! As I had agreed to have my presents when I came home, as it would have meant a mad rush for me this morning, and I really cannot face that sort of thing!
Once into the playpen, it was quiet, and there were no decorations on my desk! Not that I am complaining – far from it. Mind you – this could be due to the fact that I have a habit of leaving my desk in such a way that it is almost impossible to decorate it without removing stuff that I need.
My beloved was true to form, and kept sending me silly pictures on my e-mail:
To be honest, it was a nice, gentle day, but as I type this, I can feel my eyes getting heavy, and I am ready to crawl into my pit, so I guess this is time to call this entry quits and head for bed.
Back tomorrow if I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Today started on a surprising note for me. My alarm had gone off at 07:25, and I was doing my best to ignore it, when my phone rang. Now normally, I would ignore it, and go back to sleep.
But not for this call, because it was my beloved. The fact that he’d taken the time to call me (ok, it was 07:30) really started the day off with a smile. He sang “happy birthday” to me, and said that when we met up, he would give me my birthday hug when he saw me, but that he was sending me virtual hugs all day.
It was then time for me to crawl out of my pit and get ready for work, but I have to admit that it was with real reluctance that I got up as I was nice and warm in bed! As I had agreed to have my presents when I came home, as it would have meant a mad rush for me this morning, and I really cannot face that sort of thing!
Once into the playpen, it was quiet, and there were no decorations on my desk! Not that I am complaining – far from it. Mind you – this could be due to the fact that I have a habit of leaving my desk in such a way that it is almost impossible to decorate it without removing stuff that I need.
My beloved was true to form, and kept sending me silly pictures on my e-mail:
I have to admit, they had the desired effect and made me gin like the proverbial village idiot all day.
Once the working day was over, I escaped home and much to my amusement, Mum had left my presents on the sofa, along with my card. I opened the card, and it promptly started playing the theme to Shaun the Sheep! My presents were silly bits – the best one being a bottle of Captain Morgan’s spiced rum.
Back tomorrow if I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Jokes to brighten a gloomy day
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
It's not been a nice day today - in fact, it's been bloody cold. But these jokes have really made me giggle.
So all I will say is enjoy (and I take no responsibility for them - other than posting!)
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
**************************************************************************
As I've matured:
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
I've learned that if its not broke, don't try and fix it.
I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.
I've learned that if its not broke, don't try and fix it.
And:
Are you aware of the discovery in the human body of a nerve that connects the eyeball to the asshole?
It is called the anal optic nerve.
It is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life.
If you don't believe me, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
So all I will say is enjoy (and I take no responsibility for them - other than posting!)
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
**************************************************************************
As I've matured:
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
I've learned that if its not broke, don't try and fix it.
I've learned to say "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.
I've learned that if its not broke, don't try and fix it.
And:
Are you aware of the discovery in the human body of a nerve that connects the eyeball to the asshole?
It is called the anal optic nerve.
It is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life.
If you don't believe me, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
New mobile…
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
As I type this, I am not a happy person. Simply because the trolls where I returned my phone said that it had to be repaired as opposed to replaced, and this was after I’d argued with them about the phone not working.
These things are sent to try us, and allegedly this repair will take a week However, it may be a week on Monday, as I had allegedly missed the repair courier. But in the mood that I am in, I am inclined to go back to the store next Friday and ask if my phone is back, as it will be a week since they had it for a “repair”.
Then, to add insult to my injury, when they were booking the phone in for the repair, I was asked the daftest question ever... Had I got a mobile number that they could contact me on? Hello? Earth calling moron. You’ve just taken my bloody mobile for repair, and I don’t have a spare.
Ok – I do now, but that was because I decided to walk down to Carphone Warehouse, and splash out a whole £20 on a new phone. Ok - £10 for the phone, and £10 for the airtime. So at least I have a phone that I can use, and it’s not cost me silly money, unlike the ones that were available where I took my phone back.
But to be honest, I really wish that I’d got my LG Cookie back, as it had got everything on there – including silly games and plenty of jokes that I had been sent – not to mention all my bloody contacts.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I’m very close to the end of my very late lunch break, and I’ve still got to grab a bite to eat.
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
These things are sent to try us, and allegedly this repair will take a week However, it may be a week on Monday, as I had allegedly missed the repair courier. But in the mood that I am in, I am inclined to go back to the store next Friday and ask if my phone is back, as it will be a week since they had it for a “repair”.
Then, to add insult to my injury, when they were booking the phone in for the repair, I was asked the daftest question ever... Had I got a mobile number that they could contact me on? Hello? Earth calling moron. You’ve just taken my bloody mobile for repair, and I don’t have a spare.
Ok – I do now, but that was because I decided to walk down to Carphone Warehouse, and splash out a whole £20 on a new phone. Ok - £10 for the phone, and £10 for the airtime. So at least I have a phone that I can use, and it’s not cost me silly money, unlike the ones that were available where I took my phone back.
But to be honest, I really wish that I’d got my LG Cookie back, as it had got everything on there – including silly games and plenty of jokes that I had been sent – not to mention all my bloody contacts.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I’m very close to the end of my very late lunch break, and I’ve still got to grab a bite to eat.
Back when I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Friday jokes…
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
It’s funny, but every Friday, I seem to get a load of jokes sent to me. I’ve posted the best ones, so enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************************
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: " £60,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing, the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're only asking £950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of £920,000. They will probably take it.. If not, we can go the extra 30 thousand if it's really a pretty good deal."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
Next joke:
DUCKS IN HEAVEN !!!
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!'
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, very careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'
The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.’
Final joke...
Man killed on golf course
A foursome of guys is waiting at the men’s tee while a foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee. The ladies are taking their time.
When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet. Then she goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it another five feet
She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, "I guess all those "F------ LESSONS I took over the winter didn't help."
One of the men immediately responds, "Well, there you have it. You should have taken "golf lessons" instead!"
He never even had a chance to duck. He was 43.......
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*********************************************************************************
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: " £60,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing, the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're only asking £950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of £920,000. They will probably take it.. If not, we can go the extra 30 thousand if it's really a pretty good deal."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
Next joke:
DUCKS IN HEAVEN !!!
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!'
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, very careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'
The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.’
Final joke...
Man killed on golf course
A foursome of guys is waiting at the men’s tee while a foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee. The ladies are taking their time.
When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet. Then she goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it another five feet
She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, "I guess all those "F------ LESSONS I took over the winter didn't help."
One of the men immediately responds, "Well, there you have it. You should have taken "golf lessons" instead!"
He never even had a chance to duck. He was 43.......
Another mobile bites the dust.
Posted by
Karen
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As the title says, my mobile phone has packed up. This time, the speaker / microphone part has failed, thus rendering the phone useless. Yes, you can still send text messages, and use the mobile internet, but actually using it as a phone? No chance.
Now normally, I wouldn’t complain, as I have been known to drop my phone into various bodies of water (a full bath was the demise of the last phone!) But this time, it’s not been maltreated with water or anything else. Yes, I dropped it onto my bed, from a grand height of oh, ½ inch, but nothing more than that.
Because of this, I’m off to the store where I bought it from originally, and am intending to get a replacement phone, as this one has lasted less than 5 months. I don’t even object to paying a little extra – I just need something that works! So, that’s what my lunch break tomorrow will entail – me trying to get myself a phone that works (and doesn’t cost a dratted fortune either!)
Ah well, time to call this quits – I’m getting cold sitting here at my computer.
Back tomorrow with the outcome of this saga…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Now normally, I wouldn’t complain, as I have been known to drop my phone into various bodies of water (a full bath was the demise of the last phone!) But this time, it’s not been maltreated with water or anything else. Yes, I dropped it onto my bed, from a grand height of oh, ½ inch, but nothing more than that.
Because of this, I’m off to the store where I bought it from originally, and am intending to get a replacement phone, as this one has lasted less than 5 months. I don’t even object to paying a little extra – I just need something that works! So, that’s what my lunch break tomorrow will entail – me trying to get myself a phone that works (and doesn’t cost a dratted fortune either!)
Ah well, time to call this quits – I’m getting cold sitting here at my computer.
Back tomorrow with the outcome of this saga…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
A new addiction.
Posted by
Karen
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Normally, I’m not a great one for so-called “geek toys”, but this time, I’ve been bitten by a bug. Or more precisely, a putty.
What am I talking about? Thinking Putty. I got the “bug” (ok putty) when one of my workmates told me about it, and made the bad mistake of passing over the tin… That was it. I was hooked. I sat at my desk, playing with the putty, and I felt like I was 5 years old again, and playing with Plasticine. Only this Plasticine was changing colour, ripping, tearing, snapping, popping and bouncing!
So, after I’d gently terrorised (and interrogated) my work mate I promptly went on line to the retailer concerned (Firebox.com) and ordered myself some… And waited very impatiently for it to arrive.
Well, it has arrived, and I freely admit being like a small child at Christmas today, as I have spent rather a lot of time playing with my putty. Admittedly I bought two versions – a colour changing putty and an illusion putty:
Ah well, guess I should call this quits – it’s nearly the end of my lunch break, and the putty is calling me….
Back later (putty permitting!)
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
What am I talking about? Thinking Putty. I got the “bug” (ok putty) when one of my workmates told me about it, and made the bad mistake of passing over the tin… That was it. I was hooked. I sat at my desk, playing with the putty, and I felt like I was 5 years old again, and playing with Plasticine. Only this Plasticine was changing colour, ripping, tearing, snapping, popping and bouncing!
So, after I’d gently terrorised (and interrogated) my work mate I promptly went on line to the retailer concerned (Firebox.com) and ordered myself some… And waited very impatiently for it to arrive.
Well, it has arrived, and I freely admit being like a small child at Christmas today, as I have spent rather a lot of time playing with my putty. Admittedly I bought two versions – a colour changing putty and an illusion putty:
 |
| Thinking Putty - this is the colour change - Sunburst |
 |
| Illusion Thinking Putty - Scarab (from the US website) |
Ah well, guess I should call this quits – it’s nearly the end of my lunch break, and the putty is calling me….
Back later (putty permitting!)
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Vatican official criticises Nobel win for IVF pioneer
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Karen
comments (0)
Again, this comes from the BBC website, and I’ll put my thoughts at the end.
Karen
************************************************************
A Vatican official has said the awarding of the Nobel Prize for Medicine to British IVF pioneer Robert Edwards is "completely out of order".
Ignacio Carrasco de Paula, head of the Pontifical Academy for Life, said the award ignored the ethical questions raised by the fertility treatment.
He said IVF had led to the destruction of large numbers of human embryos.
Nearly four million babies have been born using IVF fertility treatment since 1978.
Monsignor Carrasco, the Vatican's spokesman on bio-ethics, said in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) had been "a new and important chapter in the field of human reproduction".
But he said the Nobel prize committee's choice of Prof Edwards had been "completely out of order" as without his treatment, there would be no market for human eggs "and there would not be a large number of freezers filled with embryos in the world", he told Italy's Ansa news agency.
"In the best of cases they are transferred into a uterus but most probably they will end up abandoned or dead, which is a problem for which the new Nobel prize winner is responsible."
In his statement, Monsignor Carrasco stressed that he was speaking in a personal capacity.
The Nobel medicine prize committee in Sweden said Prof Edwards' work had brought "joy to infertile people all over the world".
"His achievements have made it possible to treat infertility, a medical condition afflicting a large proportion of humanity, including more than 10% of all couples worldwide," it said.
Prof Edwards efforts in the 1950s, 60s and 70s led to the birth of the world's first "test tube baby", Louise Brown, in July 1978.
Ms Brown said the award was "fantastic news".
"Me and mum are so glad that one of the pioneers of IVF has been given the recognition he deserves," she said.
"We hold Bob in great affection and are delighted to send our personal congratulations to him and his family at this time."
******************************************************************
Yet again, the Catholic Church has shown just how out of touch it is with the rest of the world. Most people in this world see IVF as a blessing, as it has allowed them to have a family of their own.
It strikes me that Monsignor Carrasco would be happy to see this technology buried, along with everything else that he and his colleagues disapprove of, and push us back into the medical dark ages, and this attitude is doing little to entice people to stay with the Church.
Until the Vatican (and the Pope) change their views, they will continue to provide ammunition to people like Prof Dawkins, who will continue to argue that the Church is irrelevant in these times. And I’m sorry to say that in this instance, I am quite inclined to agree with him.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Karen
************************************************************
A Vatican official has said the awarding of the Nobel Prize for Medicine to British IVF pioneer Robert Edwards is "completely out of order".
 |
| Louise Brown with Prof Edwards |
Ignacio Carrasco de Paula, head of the Pontifical Academy for Life, said the award ignored the ethical questions raised by the fertility treatment.
He said IVF had led to the destruction of large numbers of human embryos.
Nearly four million babies have been born using IVF fertility treatment since 1978.
Monsignor Carrasco, the Vatican's spokesman on bio-ethics, said in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) had been "a new and important chapter in the field of human reproduction".
But he said the Nobel prize committee's choice of Prof Edwards had been "completely out of order" as without his treatment, there would be no market for human eggs "and there would not be a large number of freezers filled with embryos in the world", he told Italy's Ansa news agency.
"In the best of cases they are transferred into a uterus but most probably they will end up abandoned or dead, which is a problem for which the new Nobel prize winner is responsible."
In his statement, Monsignor Carrasco stressed that he was speaking in a personal capacity.
The Nobel medicine prize committee in Sweden said Prof Edwards' work had brought "joy to infertile people all over the world".
"His achievements have made it possible to treat infertility, a medical condition afflicting a large proportion of humanity, including more than 10% of all couples worldwide," it said.
Prof Edwards efforts in the 1950s, 60s and 70s led to the birth of the world's first "test tube baby", Louise Brown, in July 1978.
Ms Brown said the award was "fantastic news".
"Me and mum are so glad that one of the pioneers of IVF has been given the recognition he deserves," she said.
"We hold Bob in great affection and are delighted to send our personal congratulations to him and his family at this time."
******************************************************************
Yet again, the Catholic Church has shown just how out of touch it is with the rest of the world. Most people in this world see IVF as a blessing, as it has allowed them to have a family of their own.
It strikes me that Monsignor Carrasco would be happy to see this technology buried, along with everything else that he and his colleagues disapprove of, and push us back into the medical dark ages, and this attitude is doing little to entice people to stay with the Church.
Until the Vatican (and the Pope) change their views, they will continue to provide ammunition to people like Prof Dawkins, who will continue to argue that the Church is irrelevant in these times. And I’m sorry to say that in this instance, I am quite inclined to agree with him.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Visual jokes
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Karen
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Some things don't need explaining - and theses pictures made me smile on a day when not much else has managed to do so.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*******************************************************************
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*******************************************************************
MOT and brakes…
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Well, this title sums up what the car has needed doing today. It’s hard to believe that my 207 is three years old this month.
But that’s not the thing that’s bugging the hell out of me. I got a call from the lass on the service desk at the main dealer (where the car was taken for the MOT) to advise me the car had passed the MOT ok, but there was an issue.
The brake pads were at 10%, and need changing, at a cost of £205. Ok – not a problem, if it needs doing so be it. But then I realised that I’d had the car serviced at the end of July, and was told that the brake pads were at 50%.
Now had I been driving like a moron, and standing on the brakes, and specialising in last minute braking, I could have possibly understood this. But as I’ve been quite gentle with the car (it doesn’t drink as much petrol that way) I am less than impressed, as I estimate I have done a maximum of 3,500 miles since the car was serviced, so I doubt very much that I have been able to use 40% in such a short time.
So as I type this, I have steam coming out of my ears, as I seriously wonder if I made a bad mistake when I swapped my beloved 206 for the 207. Don’t get me wrong – the 207 is great fun to drive, and is fast enough to get me both into and out of trouble.
However, the 206 had a similar mileage on it, and I had no problems with the brakes at all. So either Peugeot has cheapened the components, or my driving style has altered radically. And my money is on the cheapened components.
Ah well, time to call this rant quits – it’s nearly the end of my lunch break, and I’m still fuming.
Back later if I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
But that’s not the thing that’s bugging the hell out of me. I got a call from the lass on the service desk at the main dealer (where the car was taken for the MOT) to advise me the car had passed the MOT ok, but there was an issue.
The brake pads were at 10%, and need changing, at a cost of £205. Ok – not a problem, if it needs doing so be it. But then I realised that I’d had the car serviced at the end of July, and was told that the brake pads were at 50%.
Now had I been driving like a moron, and standing on the brakes, and specialising in last minute braking, I could have possibly understood this. But as I’ve been quite gentle with the car (it doesn’t drink as much petrol that way) I am less than impressed, as I estimate I have done a maximum of 3,500 miles since the car was serviced, so I doubt very much that I have been able to use 40% in such a short time.
So as I type this, I have steam coming out of my ears, as I seriously wonder if I made a bad mistake when I swapped my beloved 206 for the 207. Don’t get me wrong – the 207 is great fun to drive, and is fast enough to get me both into and out of trouble.
However, the 206 had a similar mileage on it, and I had no problems with the brakes at all. So either Peugeot has cheapened the components, or my driving style has altered radically. And my money is on the cheapened components.
Ah well, time to call this rant quits – it’s nearly the end of my lunch break, and I’m still fuming.
Back later if I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Flu jabs and Banbury..
Posted by
Karen
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Where do I start with this post? Apart from yelling OUCH every time I try to move my arms. The reason for this yell, is because I’ve had the ‘flu jabs. Yes – I got stuck in both arms – the swine flu in the right arm and the standard flu strains in the left arm. They didn’t hurt (much) when I had them this morning, but as I’m sitting here at my computer, my left arm is screaming, and the right one is whimpering.
By all accounts, I should have had the swine flu jab last year, but I was too cowardly to have it, so thought I’d better get it sorted out as this nasty flu is kicking about this year – allegedly. I personally think that it’s because the government had a load of vaccine left over last year as the supposed pandemic didn’t materialise, so they’re looking for suckers to get stabbed this year.
So, I was duly stabbed in both arms, and as I didn’t feel too bad, went down to Banbury with Mum. Not a problem there, until we got into BHS… There was a strange scent in the air, and as I wasn’t feeling too good, my stomach started to rebel.
Needless to say, I made a swift exit, and headed straight into my favourite shop – Waterstones. I was looking for the next books in a series that I have been reading (Rachel Vincent’s Were Cat series). I struck gold, and got the next three books, much to my delight.
Then it was off to the West Cornwall Pasty Company. This is the company that Dad and I used to go to every time we were in Banbury, as the pasties are very tasty (and are perfect for me taking into the office for lunch).
Once the pasties had been duly purchased, Mum and I then went in search of something rather exotic – knitting patterns. Now most people wouldn’t consider this a problem but for me, trying to find a pattern that I am happy to have on a jersey is rather awkward, as I don’t like anything too fancy. Thankfully, Mum and I managed to find three patterns that she can adapt (they’re Aran wool patterns and I itch like I have fleas).
Then the rest of the time was just wandering around Banbury town centre – until I spotted a new bookshop. It was a real mixed bag – part bookshop, part stationers, and I found something that I have searched high and low for. Pink Parker Quink cartridges for my fountain pen.
The reason? Ever since I was a junior school, I have used a fountain pen, and when I am doing some types of paperwork in the office, I want something that is going to stand out – hence the pink ink.
We then took a leisurely walk towards the Castle Quay centre, and then headed to Debenhams for a coffee and a sandwich, as I was hungry (and my arms were hurting). Thankfully, the pain killers kicked in fairly fast, and the rest of the day was a blur – mainly because I fell asleep this afternoon. Even as I type this, I am still tired but I know damned well if I go back to sleep, I won’t be able to sleep tonight.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I’m starting to get hungry.
Back when I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
By all accounts, I should have had the swine flu jab last year, but I was too cowardly to have it, so thought I’d better get it sorted out as this nasty flu is kicking about this year – allegedly. I personally think that it’s because the government had a load of vaccine left over last year as the supposed pandemic didn’t materialise, so they’re looking for suckers to get stabbed this year.
So, I was duly stabbed in both arms, and as I didn’t feel too bad, went down to Banbury with Mum. Not a problem there, until we got into BHS… There was a strange scent in the air, and as I wasn’t feeling too good, my stomach started to rebel.
Needless to say, I made a swift exit, and headed straight into my favourite shop – Waterstones. I was looking for the next books in a series that I have been reading (Rachel Vincent’s Were Cat series). I struck gold, and got the next three books, much to my delight.
Then it was off to the West Cornwall Pasty Company. This is the company that Dad and I used to go to every time we were in Banbury, as the pasties are very tasty (and are perfect for me taking into the office for lunch).
Once the pasties had been duly purchased, Mum and I then went in search of something rather exotic – knitting patterns. Now most people wouldn’t consider this a problem but for me, trying to find a pattern that I am happy to have on a jersey is rather awkward, as I don’t like anything too fancy. Thankfully, Mum and I managed to find three patterns that she can adapt (they’re Aran wool patterns and I itch like I have fleas).
Then the rest of the time was just wandering around Banbury town centre – until I spotted a new bookshop. It was a real mixed bag – part bookshop, part stationers, and I found something that I have searched high and low for. Pink Parker Quink cartridges for my fountain pen.
The reason? Ever since I was a junior school, I have used a fountain pen, and when I am doing some types of paperwork in the office, I want something that is going to stand out – hence the pink ink.
We then took a leisurely walk towards the Castle Quay centre, and then headed to Debenhams for a coffee and a sandwich, as I was hungry (and my arms were hurting). Thankfully, the pain killers kicked in fairly fast, and the rest of the day was a blur – mainly because I fell asleep this afternoon. Even as I type this, I am still tired but I know damned well if I go back to sleep, I won’t be able to sleep tonight.
Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I’m starting to get hungry.
Back when I get the chance…
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
New equality rights in workplace come into force
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Karen
comments (0)
This was brought to my attention as I was driving into work this morning. As per normal, I was listening to Radio 4 when John Humphries announced this news. So, as soon as I got home this evening, I decided to do some digging, and came across this news article on the BBC website.
I’ve posted it in full, and as normal, I’ll put my thoughts at the end.
Karen
*************************************************************************
New rules aimed at banning discrimination by employers, covering areas such as age, disability and pay, have come into force.
The Equality Act covers many workplace areas and draws nine separate pieces of legislation into a single Act.
Equalities Minister Theresa May says it will now be easier for firms to comply with anti-discrimination rules.
However, some business groups argued the new legislation will impose a heavy burden on employers.
'Challenging times'
The new law restricts the circumstances in which employers can ask job applicants questions about disability or health prior to offering them a position, making it more difficult for disabled people to be unfairly screened out.
"In these challenging economic times it's more important than ever for employers to make the most of all the talent available," said Ms May.
There are also new powers for employment tribunals.
The Act will also stop employers using pay secrecy clauses to prevent employees discussing their own pay, which means men and women can compare pay.
But the Act will not make employers reveal how much they pay men compared with women, as had been planned by the Labour government.
Some campaigners argued that this revision undermined the new legislation.
"Rowing back on the requirement for big business to publish and take action on any differences in pay between men and women employees is tantamount to endorsing the shocking gender pay gap," said Ceri Goddard, chief executive of the Fawcett Society, which campaigns for gender equality.
Employees will also now be able to file discrimination claims on two grounds, rather than one. For example, under the previous rules, a woman from an ethnic minority could not file a claim on counts of both gender and race discrimination - an employment tribunal would have to consider the claims separately.
Under the new rules, an employee can file claims on two counts, but no more.
Business cost
The Equality and Human Rights Commission said: "Everyone is protected by the new law.
"It [the Act] covers age, disability, gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion and belief, sex (meaning gender) and sexual orientation.
"Under the act people are not allowed to discriminate, harass or victimise another person because they belong to a group that the Act protects, they are thought to belong to one of those groups or are associated with someone who does."
But some business groups argued that the new rules place an extra burden on companies at a time when they are still trying to recover from the recession.
"Businesses are really concerned," Abigail Morris from the British Chambers of Commerce told the BBC.
"The government's own impact assessment shows that this is going to cost £190m just for businesses to understand the legislation, and this at a time when we really need them to be concentrating on creating private sector jobs and driving economic recovery."
During the summer there were some concerns about the new rules expressed by shipping companies.
Some claimed the laws could force them to quit the UK because they would have to pay UK rates to foreign-based seafarers who do not have the burden of British living costs.
**************************************************************************
Now I don’t have anything against the idea of equality – in fact, I’m all for it, as I personally find it revolting that someone can be persecuted for their race and sexual preference.
But this strikes me as being an act that has been taken too far. Why do I say this? Simple. If someone overhears a joke in the office, that they don’t approve of / find personally offensive, then they have the option of making a complaint to an industrial tribunal – even though the comment or joke might not have been aimed specifically at them.
So, that means that it will be almost impossible to have a laugh and a joke with friends in the office, for fear that someone will find an innocent remark offensive, even though it wasn’t aimed at them.
In the end, I feel that the only people who will profit from this are the solicitors and barristers who will represent the litigants, and the rest of us will lose out. I can see this resulting in a loss of the most prized part of our culture – the freedom of speech and expression. And all because of this foolish act.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
I’ve posted it in full, and as normal, I’ll put my thoughts at the end.
Karen
*************************************************************************
New rules aimed at banning discrimination by employers, covering areas such as age, disability and pay, have come into force.
 |
Everyone is protected by the Law |
Equalities Minister Theresa May says it will now be easier for firms to comply with anti-discrimination rules.
However, some business groups argued the new legislation will impose a heavy burden on employers.
'Challenging times'
The new law restricts the circumstances in which employers can ask job applicants questions about disability or health prior to offering them a position, making it more difficult for disabled people to be unfairly screened out.
"In these challenging economic times it's more important than ever for employers to make the most of all the talent available," said Ms May.
There are also new powers for employment tribunals.
The Act will also stop employers using pay secrecy clauses to prevent employees discussing their own pay, which means men and women can compare pay.
But the Act will not make employers reveal how much they pay men compared with women, as had been planned by the Labour government.
Some campaigners argued that this revision undermined the new legislation.
"Rowing back on the requirement for big business to publish and take action on any differences in pay between men and women employees is tantamount to endorsing the shocking gender pay gap," said Ceri Goddard, chief executive of the Fawcett Society, which campaigns for gender equality.
Employees will also now be able to file discrimination claims on two grounds, rather than one. For example, under the previous rules, a woman from an ethnic minority could not file a claim on counts of both gender and race discrimination - an employment tribunal would have to consider the claims separately.
Under the new rules, an employee can file claims on two counts, but no more.
Business cost
The Equality and Human Rights Commission said: "Everyone is protected by the new law.
"It [the Act] covers age, disability, gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion and belief, sex (meaning gender) and sexual orientation.
"Under the act people are not allowed to discriminate, harass or victimise another person because they belong to a group that the Act protects, they are thought to belong to one of those groups or are associated with someone who does."
But some business groups argued that the new rules place an extra burden on companies at a time when they are still trying to recover from the recession.
"Businesses are really concerned," Abigail Morris from the British Chambers of Commerce told the BBC.
"The government's own impact assessment shows that this is going to cost £190m just for businesses to understand the legislation, and this at a time when we really need them to be concentrating on creating private sector jobs and driving economic recovery."
During the summer there were some concerns about the new rules expressed by shipping companies.
Some claimed the laws could force them to quit the UK because they would have to pay UK rates to foreign-based seafarers who do not have the burden of British living costs.
**************************************************************************
Now I don’t have anything against the idea of equality – in fact, I’m all for it, as I personally find it revolting that someone can be persecuted for their race and sexual preference.
But this strikes me as being an act that has been taken too far. Why do I say this? Simple. If someone overhears a joke in the office, that they don’t approve of / find personally offensive, then they have the option of making a complaint to an industrial tribunal – even though the comment or joke might not have been aimed specifically at them.
So, that means that it will be almost impossible to have a laugh and a joke with friends in the office, for fear that someone will find an innocent remark offensive, even though it wasn’t aimed at them.
In the end, I feel that the only people who will profit from this are the solicitors and barristers who will represent the litigants, and the rest of us will lose out. I can see this resulting in a loss of the most prized part of our culture – the freedom of speech and expression. And all because of this foolish act.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Another death row controversy.
Posted by
Karen
comments (1)
This comes from the BBC website, and as per normal, I’ll put my thoughts on this article at the end.
Karen
************************************************************************************
Is Teresa Lewis an unusual death row case?
By Finlo Rohrer BBC News, Washington
Virginia is due to execute a woman, the first in the US state since 1912 and the first anywhere in the country for five years. But why is the execution of a woman such a significant event?
Teresa Lewis's planned execution has been publicised everywhere from the UK to Iran.
Her case is unusual for three reasons.
Lewis plotted with two men to kill her husband and stepson, leaving the door of the house open and buying guns and ammunition for the killers.
She pleaded guilty and was sentenced to death. The gunmen Matthew Shallenberger and Rodney Fuller only received life sentences.
With an IQ of just 72, both her current legal team and death penalty opponents have suggested it is wrong to execute her and wrong to think she is likely to have been the driving force behind a plot.
Her legal team accuses Shallenberger, who killed himself in prison, of being the mastermind and of manipulating Lewis, with whom he had an affair.
But there is no doubt that what interests many people most about the case is the mere fact of Lewis being a woman
'Extremely rare'
Women are not often executed in the US.
The statistics are striking, notes Victor Streib, professor of law at Ohio Northern University and a student of female death penalty cases for 30 years.
From 1 January 1973 to 30 June 2009, 8,118 people were sentenced to death in the US. Only 165 of those were women, 2% of the total.
In the same period, of the 1,168 executions that have taken place, only 11 have been of women.
"The death penalty for women is extremely rare," says Prof Streib. "They tend to be
screened out."
But they commit 10-12% of capital murders, says Prof Streib.
Historically, he notes, judges would openly say that the death penalty was not an option because the defendant was a woman. Now such a statement would be unthinkable, but there may be a hangover from earlier attitudes.
"We are more likely to believe a woman is mentally disturbed or under the control of a man, than a man," says Prof Strieb.
He wonders whether the apparent bias in sentencing could be because of cultural attitudes in law enforcement or even in the wider public.
Lenient treatment
"I think it's fair to say that when the public thinks of the death penalty they almost always get this image of an evil man."
David Muhlhausen, senior policy analyst in the Center for Data Analysis at The Heritage Foundation, suggests there is a bias in favour of women in the system.
"There is ample research women are treated more leniently for equivalent crimes.
"People's bias is that women are more sympathetic. If you look at death row cases, the overwhelming majority are men. Every time there is an upcoming execution of… a woman, it makes more news."
But as this piece suggests, citing this academic work , there could still be a form of anti-female bias, with women receiving death sentences for categories of murders that men would not.
To these critics, women are sentenced to death for domestic murders as their crime is seen as egregious because of the contradiction of the stereotypes of female nurturing.
Lewis had sex with at least one of the killers, also allegedly offering the prospect of sex with her 16-year-old daughter as bait, and betrayed her husband, all motivated by financial gain.
Protective role
"Women tend to kill a member of the family. Men are much more likely [than women] to be involved in a stranger killing," says Prof Strieb.
This might help explain how someone like Lewis could be sentenced to death.
"There is a kind of a play on the notion that you expect women to protect the family and she is paying to get rid of the family," argues Prof Streib.
But for some opponents of the death penalty, the mere fact of Lewis being a woman is not the main issue.
Her low intelligence is a key issue, says Diann Rust-Tierney, executive director of the National Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty
"That is a very big part of her claim. That she is a person of diminished capacity and shouldn't be subject to the death penalty.
"The people who actually committed the killing were serving a life sentence. Far from being the person who was most culpable, she was a puppet in a scheme. The injustice is striking."
But, with fewer than 50 people executed every year in the US out of the thousands of murderers caught and sentenced, and with different attitudes from state to state, there can be cases that seem inconsistent, says Prof Franklin Zimring, of the Berkeley School of Law.
"When you start with that kind of mathematics you come up with arbitrary outcomes.
"If you are looking for the most culpable 50 you wouldn't pick a lady with an IQ of 72."
Some of those who have taken an interest in Lewis's case have questioned why the issue of her low IQ was not forcefully raised at her trial.
But for supporters of the death penalty, such arguments do not hold water.
"Whether or not she was somebody who had a high intelligence or a low intelligence, she still committed a serious crime," says Mr Muhlhausen.
*********************************************************************************
Now I am not condoning murder, far from it. But this case has raised some interesting points, especially when it comes to the perceived ability of a woman to commit such a crime, and whether the defendant really knew what she was getting involved with. However, this will never be proven or disproven as the main protagonist killed himself in jail.
Instead of making an example of a woman with a low IQ, why not treat her the same way as her co-defendants, and sentence her to life in prison? All this does is make a mockery of the American justice system, and makes me think that the so called leader of the free world needs to start looking at it’s own systems, before it tries to interfere overseas.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Karen
************************************************************************************
Is Teresa Lewis an unusual death row case?
By Finlo Rohrer BBC News, Washington
Virginia is due to execute a woman, the first in the US state since 1912 and the first anywhere in the country for five years. But why is the execution of a woman such a significant event?
Teresa Lewis's planned execution has been publicised everywhere from the UK to Iran.
Her case is unusual for three reasons.
Lewis plotted with two men to kill her husband and stepson, leaving the door of the house open and buying guns and ammunition for the killers.
She pleaded guilty and was sentenced to death. The gunmen Matthew Shallenberger and Rodney Fuller only received life sentences.
With an IQ of just 72, both her current legal team and death penalty opponents have suggested it is wrong to execute her and wrong to think she is likely to have been the driving force behind a plot.
Her legal team accuses Shallenberger, who killed himself in prison, of being the mastermind and of manipulating Lewis, with whom he had an affair.
But there is no doubt that what interests many people most about the case is the mere fact of Lewis being a woman
We are more likely to believe a woman is mentally disturbed or under the control of a man”Prof Victor Streib
'Extremely rare'
Women are not often executed in the US.
The statistics are striking, notes Victor Streib, professor of law at Ohio Northern University and a student of female death penalty cases for 30 years.
 |
| Teresa Lewis has an IQ of 72 |
In the same period, of the 1,168 executions that have taken place, only 11 have been of women.
"The death penalty for women is extremely rare," says Prof Streib. "They tend to be
screened out."
But they commit 10-12% of capital murders, says Prof Streib.
Historically, he notes, judges would openly say that the death penalty was not an option because the defendant was a woman. Now such a statement would be unthinkable, but there may be a hangover from earlier attitudes.
"We are more likely to believe a woman is mentally disturbed or under the control of a man, than a man," says Prof Strieb.
He wonders whether the apparent bias in sentencing could be because of cultural attitudes in law enforcement or even in the wider public.
Lenient treatment
"I think it's fair to say that when the public thinks of the death penalty they almost always get this image of an evil man."
David Muhlhausen, senior policy analyst in the Center for Data Analysis at The Heritage Foundation, suggests there is a bias in favour of women in the system.
"There is ample research women are treated more leniently for equivalent crimes.
"People's bias is that women are more sympathetic. If you look at death row cases, the overwhelming majority are men. Every time there is an upcoming execution of… a woman, it makes more news."
But as this piece suggests, citing this academic work , there could still be a form of anti-female bias, with women receiving death sentences for categories of murders that men would not.
To these critics, women are sentenced to death for domestic murders as their crime is seen as egregious because of the contradiction of the stereotypes of female nurturing.
Women killers
1 Jan 1973 to 30 Jun 2009, 8,118 people in US sentenced to death
Of those, 165 were women
Of 1,168 executions, 11 were women
Women commit up to 12% of capital murders
Source: Victor Streib
Lewis had sex with at least one of the killers, also allegedly offering the prospect of sex with her 16-year-old daughter as bait, and betrayed her husband, all motivated by financial gain.
Protective role
"Women tend to kill a member of the family. Men are much more likely [than women] to be involved in a stranger killing," says Prof Strieb.
This might help explain how someone like Lewis could be sentenced to death.
"There is a kind of a play on the notion that you expect women to protect the family and she is paying to get rid of the family," argues Prof Streib.
Controversial cases
In 1955, the hanging of Ruth Ellis in the UK for shooting her lover helped spur opposition to the death penalty, leading to its abolition in the 1960s
In the same year in the US, the execution of Barbara Graham was also very high profile, with the movie I Want to Live throwing a spotlight on the death penalty
But for some opponents of the death penalty, the mere fact of Lewis being a woman is not the main issue.
Her low intelligence is a key issue, says Diann Rust-Tierney, executive director of the National Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty
"That is a very big part of her claim. That she is a person of diminished capacity and shouldn't be subject to the death penalty.
"The people who actually committed the killing were serving a life sentence. Far from being the person who was most culpable, she was a puppet in a scheme. The injustice is striking."
But, with fewer than 50 people executed every year in the US out of the thousands of murderers caught and sentenced, and with different attitudes from state to state, there can be cases that seem inconsistent, says Prof Franklin Zimring, of the Berkeley School of Law.
"When you start with that kind of mathematics you come up with arbitrary outcomes.
"If you are looking for the most culpable 50 you wouldn't pick a lady with an IQ of 72."
Some of those who have taken an interest in Lewis's case have questioned why the issue of her low IQ was not forcefully raised at her trial.
But for supporters of the death penalty, such arguments do not hold water.
"Whether or not she was somebody who had a high intelligence or a low intelligence, she still committed a serious crime," says Mr Muhlhausen.
*********************************************************************************
Now I am not condoning murder, far from it. But this case has raised some interesting points, especially when it comes to the perceived ability of a woman to commit such a crime, and whether the defendant really knew what she was getting involved with. However, this will never be proven or disproven as the main protagonist killed himself in jail.
Instead of making an example of a woman with a low IQ, why not treat her the same way as her co-defendants, and sentence her to life in prison? All this does is make a mockery of the American justice system, and makes me think that the so called leader of the free world needs to start looking at it’s own systems, before it tries to interfere overseas.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
It's just not cricket!
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
As the title says, the situation involving the England & Pakistan cricket teams has cast a long shadow over all forms of cricket - especially the international game.
It started with a "sting" by the News of the World, allegedly showing some members of the Pakistan national team taking substantial amounts of money to bowl no-balls at certain points in specific matches against England.
Not unreasonably the people of Pakistan are not happy, as the national team players are well regarded in the country, and for some of them to be suspected of agreeing to perform at less than their full potential is horrifying.
The spectre of the Hansie Cronje scandal that broke back in 2000, is still hanging over the sport, but there have been big strides in the attempt to clean the game up, but allegations like this, just drag cricket back into the mire from which it has tried so hard to escape.
Now the president of the Pakistan cricket board has allegedly spoken on Indian television, claiming that there were England players who had also taken large sums of money to throw the last match that the two countries played.
Talk about repaying the ECB… And this has been done after the ECB encouraged the Pakistan cricket board to play their tests against Australia here in the UK, after no other country would host the test series.
To be honest, this smacks of someone trying to divert the attention away from his own issues, and dragging the England team into the mire as well, and it is not doing the sport that he claims to love any favours at all, and for a time, threw the fate of the Lords one day international in doubt.
Time to call this quits - it's nearly the end of my lunchbreak.
Back later if I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
It started with a "sting" by the News of the World, allegedly showing some members of the Pakistan national team taking substantial amounts of money to bowl no-balls at certain points in specific matches against England.
Not unreasonably the people of Pakistan are not happy, as the national team players are well regarded in the country, and for some of them to be suspected of agreeing to perform at less than their full potential is horrifying.
The spectre of the Hansie Cronje scandal that broke back in 2000, is still hanging over the sport, but there have been big strides in the attempt to clean the game up, but allegations like this, just drag cricket back into the mire from which it has tried so hard to escape.
Now the president of the Pakistan cricket board has allegedly spoken on Indian television, claiming that there were England players who had also taken large sums of money to throw the last match that the two countries played.
Talk about repaying the ECB… And this has been done after the ECB encouraged the Pakistan cricket board to play their tests against Australia here in the UK, after no other country would host the test series.
To be honest, this smacks of someone trying to divert the attention away from his own issues, and dragging the England team into the mire as well, and it is not doing the sport that he claims to love any favours at all, and for a time, threw the fate of the Lords one day international in doubt.
Time to call this quits - it's nearly the end of my lunchbreak.
Back later if I get the chance.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
Can’t you tell it’s Friday?
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Well, as the title says, the jokes are starting, and this one really made me giggle. I make no apologies for posting it either.
Enjoy,
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
***************************************************************************
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'
The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'
The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
'Only when he's been drinking .
And this one as well….
Last week, I checked into the Four Seasons in Palm Beach and was a bit lonely. I thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."
I looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony -a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and I felt quite certain I could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled bum.... you get the picture. I figured, what the heck, I'll give him a call.
"Hello, ma'am, how may I help you?" Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!
Afraid I would lose my nerve if I hesitated I rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.
We'll go hot and heavy all night -tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything baby. Now how does that sound?"
He says, "Oh my God... that sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."
Enjoy,
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
***************************************************************************
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'
The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'
The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
(I love this part)
'Only when he's been drinking .
And this one as well….
Last week, I checked into the Four Seasons in Palm Beach and was a bit lonely. I thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."
I looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony -a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and I felt quite certain I could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled bum.... you get the picture. I figured, what the heck, I'll give him a call.
"Hello, ma'am, how may I help you?" Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!
Afraid I would lose my nerve if I hesitated I rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.
We'll go hot and heavy all night -tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything baby. Now how does that sound?"
He says, "Oh my God... that sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."
Papal aide Cardinal Kasper under pressure to apologise
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
This comes from the BBC website – as per normal, I’ll put my comments / thoughts at the end.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*****************************************************************
Papal aide Cardinal Kasper under pressure to apologise
A senior papal aide has come under pressure to apologise after saying arriving at Heathrow airport was like landing in a "Third World" country.
Cardinal Keith O'Brien, Catholic Church leader in Scotland, said he expected Cardinal Walter Kasper to say sorry.
Cardinal Kasper pulled out of the Pope's four-day UK visit, with the Vatican citing illness.
The trip is expected to contain a number of protests and statements by groups opposed to it.
Cardinal Kasper had made his remarks during an interview with the German magazine Focus.
On Wednesday, Vatican sources said Cardinal Kasper was suffering from gout and had been advised by his doctors not to travel to the UK.
They also said his "Third World" comment referred to the UK's multicultural society.
Ahead of the Pope's arrival in Edinburgh, Cardinal O'Brien told BBC Radio Scotland:
"[The comment] was unfortunate and each and every person's aides sometimes do make awkward, difficult remarks. Sometimes we make awkward, difficult remarks ourselves. And simply, if we do that sort of thing we apologise for it, and I'm sure Cardinal Kasper will apologise for any intemperate remarks which he made some time ago."
The Catholic Church in England and Wales said Cardinal Kasper's comments were "the personal views of one individual".
Open debate
Pope Benedict XVI is making the first state visit by a pontiff to the UK.
The invitation has been criticised by a number of groups, including gay and women's rights organisations.
Protest the Pope, an umbrella group bringing together a dozen humanist, atheist, secular and gay rights groups, has said it opposes the idea of the Pope being welcomed to the UK as a head of state, with the UK taxpayer paying for much of the visit.
Pope Benedict has also faced calls to address public concern over the sexual and physical abuse of children by priests.
And reformist Catholics are using the Pope's visit as an opportunity to call on Benedict XVI to open up the debate on priestly celibacy and the ordination of women.
*****************************************************************
With regards to the comment by the cardinal, all I can say is “this man is supposed to be a diplomat?” That’s not what I would expect from someone who is supposed to be assisting with a rather sensitive tour.
Yes, it does appear that the UK as a whole is secular, but I am afraid that this is not the time to state such a thing, especially with the tensions that are in the air because of the abuses that the church seems unwilling (or more to the point unable) to deal with., and it is this apparent failure that is turning people away from the church.
Ok – I’m not a churchgoer by any stretch of the imagination – I go when it’s hatch, match and despatch and the very rare occasions that I get dragged. But that doesn’t mean that I am an atheist. Far from it – I prefer to refer to myself as a humanist, as I do believe that there is a higher power, but I am unwilling to submit to any one idea of how and where I should give thanks.
Aside from that, I have to admit, I am not a fan of the current Pope. His predecessor, John Paul II was, in my opinion far more approachable, and seemed almost more human. Ok – maybe Pope Benedict does show his emotions in private, but he always strikes me as being rather dour and remote.
As for greeting him as a head of state, sorry, I don’t agree with that at all. The man is either a religious leader, or a church leader – you cannot have it both ways. Yes, in theory, Queen Elisabeth II is the titular head of the Church of England, but I doubt very much that she gets involved in the day to day running of the church – she leaves that to the archbishop of Canterbury.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
*****************************************************************
Papal aide Cardinal Kasper under pressure to apologise
A senior papal aide has come under pressure to apologise after saying arriving at Heathrow airport was like landing in a "Third World" country.
Cardinal Keith O'Brien, Catholic Church leader in Scotland, said he expected Cardinal Walter Kasper to say sorry.
Cardinal Kasper pulled out of the Pope's four-day UK visit, with the Vatican citing illness.
The trip is expected to contain a number of protests and statements by groups opposed to it.
 |
| Cardinal Walter Kasper gave an interview to a German magazine |
"I'm sure Cardinal Kasper will apologise for any intemperate remarks”Cardinal Keith O'Brien
On Wednesday, Vatican sources said Cardinal Kasper was suffering from gout and had been advised by his doctors not to travel to the UK.
They also said his "Third World" comment referred to the UK's multicultural society.
Ahead of the Pope's arrival in Edinburgh, Cardinal O'Brien told BBC Radio Scotland:
"[The comment] was unfortunate and each and every person's aides sometimes do make awkward, difficult remarks. Sometimes we make awkward, difficult remarks ourselves. And simply, if we do that sort of thing we apologise for it, and I'm sure Cardinal Kasper will apologise for any intemperate remarks which he made some time ago."
The Catholic Church in England and Wales said Cardinal Kasper's comments were "the personal views of one individual".
Open debate
Pope Benedict XVI is making the first state visit by a pontiff to the UK.
The invitation has been criticised by a number of groups, including gay and women's rights organisations.
Protest the Pope, an umbrella group bringing together a dozen humanist, atheist, secular and gay rights groups, has said it opposes the idea of the Pope being welcomed to the UK as a head of state, with the UK taxpayer paying for much of the visit.
Pope Benedict has also faced calls to address public concern over the sexual and physical abuse of children by priests.
And reformist Catholics are using the Pope's visit as an opportunity to call on Benedict XVI to open up the debate on priestly celibacy and the ordination of women.
*****************************************************************
With regards to the comment by the cardinal, all I can say is “this man is supposed to be a diplomat?” That’s not what I would expect from someone who is supposed to be assisting with a rather sensitive tour.
Yes, it does appear that the UK as a whole is secular, but I am afraid that this is not the time to state such a thing, especially with the tensions that are in the air because of the abuses that the church seems unwilling (or more to the point unable) to deal with., and it is this apparent failure that is turning people away from the church.
Ok – I’m not a churchgoer by any stretch of the imagination – I go when it’s hatch, match and despatch and the very rare occasions that I get dragged. But that doesn’t mean that I am an atheist. Far from it – I prefer to refer to myself as a humanist, as I do believe that there is a higher power, but I am unwilling to submit to any one idea of how and where I should give thanks.
Aside from that, I have to admit, I am not a fan of the current Pope. His predecessor, John Paul II was, in my opinion far more approachable, and seemed almost more human. Ok – maybe Pope Benedict does show his emotions in private, but he always strikes me as being rather dour and remote.
As for greeting him as a head of state, sorry, I don’t agree with that at all. The man is either a religious leader, or a church leader – you cannot have it both ways. Yes, in theory, Queen Elisabeth II is the titular head of the Church of England, but I doubt very much that she gets involved in the day to day running of the church – she leaves that to the archbishop of Canterbury.
From the cockpit on Kulula.Com - South Africa's Budget Airline
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
I make no apology for posting this – it’s really made me grin.
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
What a pity Kulula doesn’t fly internationally – we should support them if only for their humour – so typically South African.
Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg.
Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings... If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
From a Kulula employee: “Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."
"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what you are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.."
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."
Heard on a Kulula flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
A plane was taking off from Durban Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Durban to Cape Town , The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOODNESS!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger then yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!
Enjoy.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
----o0o----
What a pity Kulula doesn’t fly internationally – we should support them if only for their humour – so typically South African.
Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg.
Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
----o0o----
On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
----o0o----
On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
----o0o----
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings... If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
----o0o----
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
----o0o----
"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
----o0o----
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
----o0o----
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
---o0o---
From a Kulula employee: “Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
----o0o----
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."
----o0o----
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."
----o0o----
"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
----o0o----
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."
----o0o----
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
----o0o----
Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what you are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
----o0o----
Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
----o0o----
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
----o0o----
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
----o0o----
After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.."
----o0o----
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."
----o0o----
Heard on a Kulula flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
----o0o----
A plane was taking off from Durban Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Durban to Cape Town , The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOODNESS!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger then yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!
Man grows pea plant inside lung
Posted by
Karen
comments (0)
Now this wasn't what I was expectting when I started surfing the web, I will admit. But, as my default home page is the BBC News site, I just had to click on the story...
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
**********************************************
A Massachusetts man who was rushed to hospital with a collapsed lung came home with an unusual diagnosis: a pea plant was growing in his lung.
Ron Sveden had been battling emphysema for months when his condition deteriorated.
He was steeling himself for a cancer diagnosis when X-rays revealed the growth in his lung.
Doctors believe that Mr Sveden ate the pea at some point, but it "went down the wrong way" and sprouted.
"One of the first meals I had in the hospital after the surgery had peas for the vegetable. I laughed to myself and ate them," Mr Sveden told a local Boston TV reporter.
Mr Sveden said the plant was about half an inch (1.25cm) in size.
"Whether this would have gone full-term and I'd be working for the Jolly Green Giant, I don't know. I think the thing that finally dawned on me is that it wasn't the cancer," Mr Sveden said.
He is currently recovering at home with his wife Nancy, who joked that God must have a sense of humour.
Karen
Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most
**********************************************
A Massachusetts man who was rushed to hospital with a collapsed lung came home with an unusual diagnosis: a pea plant was growing in his lung.
He was steeling himself for a cancer diagnosis when X-rays revealed the growth in his lung.
Doctors believe that Mr Sveden ate the pea at some point, but it "went down the wrong way" and sprouted.
"One of the first meals I had in the hospital after the surgery had peas for the vegetable. I laughed to myself and ate them," Mr Sveden told a local Boston TV reporter.
Mr Sveden said the plant was about half an inch (1.25cm) in size.
"Whether this would have gone full-term and I'd be working for the Jolly Green Giant, I don't know. I think the thing that finally dawned on me is that it wasn't the cancer," Mr Sveden said.
He is currently recovering at home with his wife Nancy, who joked that God must have a sense of humour.
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