This says it all.

This was sent to me by an old friend of my father's - and no words are necessary.

                                                                                      

Karen 


I tell myself
Hey only fools rush in and only time will tell
If we stand the test of time
All I know
You've got to run to win and I'll be damned if
I'll get hung up on the line

Meet the man on a mission to save carnivorous plants

I saw this on the BBC Earth website, and thought it should be reproduced on my blog, as carnivorous plants are a passion of mine.

Karen


I tell myself
Hey only fools rush in and only time will tell
If we stand the test of time
All I know
You've got to run to win and 
I'll be damned if
I'll get hung up on the line

************************************

BBC Earth - Meet the man on a misson to save carnivourous plants

Many of these insect-eating plants are on the brink of extinction, but one researcher is trying to rescue them

·   By Lucy Jones

15 September 2016

Stewart McPherson is prepared to go a long way for his science: even into the grounds of a prison in the Philippines. "I had to be guided by murderers," he says.

His target was, appropriately enough, a plant that kills: a tropical pitcher plant called Nepenthes deaniana that traps and digests insects. "It hadn't been seen for nearly 100 years."

McPherson has been fascinated with carnivorous plants since childhood. As an eight-year-old he came across his first species in a British garden centre. Immediately fascinated, he started a collection. After a couple of years, he had filled the family conservatory with hundreds of different plants.

The young naturalist found carnivorous plants extraordinary – as many others have for centuries. But despite their startling abilities, carnivorous plants are also in profound danger.

"To think they are plants with highly modified specialist leaves that have adapted through evolution to attract, capture, kill and digest animals – in some cases as big as rats – is pretty amazing," says McPherson.

Nepenthes rajah sometimes traps rats (Credit: Stewart McPherson)

"To think they are plants with highly modified specialist leaves that have adapted through evolution to attract, capture, kill and digest animals – in some cases as big as rats – is pretty amazing," says McPherson.

The idea of flesh-eating plants has long captured the imagination, from Victorian fables of man-eating species to post-apocalyptic sci-fi with John Wyndham's The Day of the Triffids and the musical fantasy film Little Shop of Horrors.

These plants were mythical, of course. The thought of real-world carnivorous plant species once seemed impossibly implausible.

Over the last decade, he has climbed 300 mountains

So much so that when the great biologist Charles Darwin wrote about them in his 1875 book Insectivorous Plants, he was mocked for suggesting some plants were carnivorous.

"But of course he was right – as he always was – and he provided the evidence that showed these plants capture and kill animals," says McPherson.

Nepenthes deaniana was not seen for 100 years (Credit: Stewart McPherson)

McPherson always longed to see carnivorous plants in the wild so, after leaving university, he set out to various countries across the world to document them in a series of field guide books. 

Over the last decade, he has climbed 300 mountains, formally described 35 new carnivorous plants and rediscovered long-lost ones – like the Nepenthes deaniana in that Philippine jail.

Because, strange as it might seem, botanists and scientists often overlook carnivorous plants.

We had to eat frogs on the way back

"They haven't received as much attention as they deserve," says McPherson. "There are hundreds of them all over the globe that are underappreciated."

But, thanks to his and other researchers' efforts, that is changing. "In the last 10 years, more of these plants have been found than in any time in history."

Many species are found in remote, inaccessible areas of – for example – Malaysia, Indonesia and Western Australia. Some of these plants had been hard to assess because the environments they occupy are unstable and difficult to travel in.

This means McPherson has had to go to great lengths to explore carnivorous plant biology. On one "epic" trip to a remote mountain in Kalimantan in Southern Borneo, on the trail of Nepenthes pilosa, a species that had not been since 1899, McPherson and his team ran out of food.

Nepenthes pilosa has thick "hair", hence its scientific name (Credit: Stewart McPherson)

"We had to eat frogs on the way back," he says. "We'd go out each night with a torch and look out for their glowing eyes, and catch them for breakfast, lunch and dinner."

While compiling his book on pitcher plants, he travelled to Palawan, a little-known narrow island in the Philippines. As a result of political instability in the 1980s and 1990s, few botanists had travelled to Palawan and explored the spine of mountains that runs along its length.

It was a rich treasure trove for McPherson. "I went up all of the tallest mountains and found an undescribed species on almost every one – seven in total," he says.

It's lived there for tens of thousands of years, quite possibly millions of years, and no one has known or appreciated it

The most exciting of the new species was a giant pitcher plant on Mount Victoria that he named after David Attenborough (Nepenthes attenboroughii), because of the broadcaster's inspiring passion for the natural world. The plant is big enough to put your hand inside.

McPherson heard a story from a group of missionaries who returned after a fateful trip and said they had seen "giant cup plants". He became convinced they were talking about a new species of Nepenthes. "It was immediately clear that it was a brand-spanking-new species, because it was so gigantic."

"We felt absolute elation. It's wonderful contributing anything to science or knowledge. It's lived there for tens of thousands of years, quite possibly millions of years, and no one has known or appreciated it. It's humbling to know that a plant or animal has existed in habitats for years in silence, just slowly ticking along waiting to be noticed and appreciated."

Nepenthes attenboroughii is big enough to put your hand in (Credit: Stewart McPherson)

His team also found a newly-killed shrew in the plant. It had fallen in and drowned in the accumulated rainwater. Two weeks later when they returned, the shrew was a husk, digested by the plant's enzymes.

This kind of behaviour leads to the popular misconception that these plants are "rat-eating". It is actually more coincidental than that.

Many of them harbour little worlds of unique life within their pitchers

"It's not fair to say they deliberately kill [mammals], they do it through coincidence. Under very rare circumstances the same process by which they capture and kill insects, also works on [small mammals],"explains McPhearson.

We still do not know very much about how these plants engage with other animals. Many of them harbour little worlds of unique life within their pitchers: animals that live inside the traps and break down the prey that the plants capture.

And some carnivorous plants have close relationships with mammals and birds.

A fanged pitcher plant (Nepenthes bicalcarata) (Credit: Stewart McPherson)

For example, Nepenthes lowii gets much of its nutrition from tree shrews, just in a roundabout way. "The pitchers of N. lowii look like a toilet bowl. They trap the waste from birds and shrews that use it as a toilet," says McPherson.

A 2015 study suggested that a carnivorous pitcher plant in Borneo attracts bats with an ultrasound reflector, and provides a roost in exchange for their waste. The complex relationship between sundews, spiders and toads has recently been studied by scientists at the University of Maryland.

The parrot plant (Sarracenia psittacina) can capture tadpoles underwater with its lobster pot trap

There is a simple reason why carnivorous plants have such complicated relationships with animals. They usually live in nutrient-poor soil, so they have adapted to capture and digest animal prey to gain the nitrogen and other nutrients they need to survive and grow.

The beautifully ornate sundew (Drosera), for example, captures its prey with sticky, glue-like tentacles. Once an insect is stuck, the plant will fold down, trap and kill its victim. These bright reddish-crimson sundews are even found growing wild in the UK, in the bogs across the country.

Pitcher plants use pitfall traps instead of sticky tentacles. Often pitchers are vividly coloured in red and yellow, with intricate patterns. This elaborate display attracts insects, which slip down the waxy linings into the fluid below and drown.

The pitcher plant Nepenthes bicalcarata looks particularly sinister. It has two "fangs" projecting beneath its lid. There are many theories as to how these thorns profit the plant. Charles Clarke at the University of New England in Armidale, Australia, suggests they may attract insects – there is nectar in the tips.

Carnivorous plants can even capture prey underwater. The aquatic waterwheel plant uses a snap trap, similar to the Venus flytrap. It snaps shut on mosquito larvae and small crustaceans called copepods which are digested by enzymes released by the plant. The parrot plant (Sarracenia psittacina) can capture tadpoles underwater with its lobster pot trap.

Nepenthes platychila has a limited range (Credit: Stewart McPherson)

Unfortunately, the beauty and strange prey-catching adaptations these plants have evolved make them attractive to poachers. Many of them are already critically endangered, which means McPherson and other botanists are racing against time to describe species before they disappear. Many are endangered and some are already extinct.

People in Europe and North America want specifically different ones, which drives people to go up the mountains, rip them out and bring them back

Although it is a common sight in garden centres, the Venus flytrap (Dionaea muscipula), perhaps the most iconic of carnivorous plants, risks extinction in the wild. The plant occurs only in a small range around Wilmington, North Carolina. Illegal poaching is a factor in long-term population decline.

The rarest carnivorous plants can command the highest value – sometimes thousands of dollars per plant – and many of these species live in economically-deprived regions.

"Everyone has mobile phones and the internet for eBay, so there's a massive trade in the world of rare plants, and it gets bigger and bigger every year," says McPherson. "People in Europe and North America want specifically different ones, which drives people to go up the mountains, rip them out and bring them back to sell locally and internationally."

Alongside poaching, shrinking habitats due to logging, mining, agriculture, new roads and other developments is taking its toll. Because many of the plants live in narrow altitudes and ranges, they can become extinct quickly if habitats change.

There may only be a few thousand Nepenthes rajah in the wild (Credit: Stewart McPherson)

Climate change could also be an issue in the future because many carnivorous plants have such narrow ranges.

To combat the decline and conserve some of the rarest plants, McPherson set up Ark Of Life in 2010. "Many species of Nepenthes are increasingly at risk of becoming extinct and in some cases little is being done."

If we don't maintain a permanent collection for them, that's it for this species, they're gone

Nepenthes rigidifolia, for example, may be the closest plant to extinction. "It's pretty much wiped out in the wild," says McPherson. "The only known wild population currently consists of one plant."

Similarly, there may only be a couple of thousand Nepenthes rajah left in the wild. This huge pitcher plant is endemic to Malaysian Borneo, and has occasionally trapped lizards, birds and frogs. The species is well protected in Malaysia's Kinabalu National Park. Even so, a landslide last year completely destroyed one of four populations, bringing it a step closer to the brink.

The challenge in conserving Nepenthes and certain other carnivorous plants is that the plants are single-sex, meaning an individual plant only has male sexual organs or female sexual organs, not both. That means you need multiple specimens of each sex to have a viable population.

A botanic garden in Holland looks after the Ark of Life collection of around 50 male and female plants. "It's small but they're really important for plants that are extinct or nearly extinct in the wild – they're the rarest of the rare," says McPherson.

The only known wild population currently consists of one plant

"Nepenthes clipeata and N. rigidifolia are the most important," he says. "Both appear to be in serious trouble and if we don't maintain a permanent collection for them, that's it for this species, they're gone. In 50 years all the people who currently cultivate them will have died."

To build up a permanent conservation collection of strains of each plant, McPherson looks for cuttings from people who already have them in horticulture. It is perfectly fine to have legal carnivorous plants at home and there are many legitimate breeders.

The IUCN launched a fundraising campaign at the end of 2015 to help complete the assessment of carnivorous plants, estimating that only 20% of species have so far been formally documented. A report in 2014 said that the primary objective was the assessment of Nepenthes species, in line with the focus of McPherson's Ark of Life.

A shield-leaved pitcher plant (Nepenthes clipeata) (Credit: Stewart McPherson)

There are other promising developments, too. The law was recently strengthened in North Carolina to make poaching wild Venus flytraps a felony rather than a misdemeanour.

Despite extensively searching for several days, McPherson found only four adult clumps and just three small juvenile ones

McPherson has just returned from an expedition to see how the rare Nepenthes clipeata is faring in Indonesian Borneo. This species is the most imperilled of all carnivorous plants. The only mountain on which it occurs has suffered rampant poaching, and has been extensively burnt during recent years, pushing N. clipeata to the brink.

Despite extensively searching for several days, McPherson found only four adult clumps and just three small juvenile ones.

Our pollution might be turning these unique plants vegetarian

The situation is just as bleak for Nepenthes kelam, another carnivorous plant native to Indonesian Borneo. It occurs only near the summit of Mount Kelam on the island. McPherson's investigations on the mountain suggest it is close to extinction in the wild.

Human behaviour has a significant impact on carnivorous plants and it remains to be seen how the most endangered species will survive and adapt in the world.

In 2012, scientists found that  sundew plants in Swedish bogs were cutting back on their fly-catching because they could find nitrogen in the more polluted areas. The plants are so finely tuned to their environments that any changes can affect the way they prey and eat.

So what is the future for carnivorous plants? Some species that occur in non-vulnerable places will be fine. But for those that are restricted to small, isolated locations, the situation is critical. A poacher could wipe out an entire population in a single trip. "It's a battle that in some cases we're quickly losing," says McPherson.

Bank Holiday escape

What a bank holiday weekend.  I didn't want it to end, as it was such a good time.  My partner had been on about going to Chatsworth as he really enjoys that sort of thing, and as I’ve never been, thought it would be an ideal escape for the pair of us.

As he lives north of me, it made sense for me to drive up and pick him up, which wasn’t an issue for either of us.  OK – it was for me – I had to get up at 06:00 to leave at 07:00 as I was picking my partner up at 08:00.

Good thing I did leave early – I managed to get lost.  Damn sat nav.  But, once I got to my partner’s house, it was quite easy to get back en-route – especially as he took a different route to the sat nav – one that avoided the town centres until we got to the Ashbourne road.

The trip was reasonably uneventful and we stopped in Buxton as the pair of us needed a break, and something to munch.  We went into The Tradesman's Entrance, and had a “late” breakfast.  It was really good, and quite reasonable, and I have to admit that it served as a good stopping point.

Then it was back on the road to Chatsworth House.  Now I’d seen the signs for Chatsworth numerous times when I’d been going to the Peak Shopping Village at Rowsley, but never thought to go there.

Well I am very glad that I did. It’s beautiful.  OK – the house is undergoing major restoration (should be finished November next year according to the website Chatsworth House - The Masterplan) but that didn’t detract from the beauty of the house.

The house and gardens are well worth visiting, and like an idiot, I didn’t take my camera with me.  Doh.  But, the website does have some beautiful photos on it, and certainly explains it better than I ever could - Chatsworth - The House.  Whilst we were inside the house, the heavens opened, and I have to admit that I was very glad that we had decided to do the inside tour first - I would have hated to be walking around the house squelching.

The gardens are also something very special, and again, I am kicking myself for not taking the camera.  The scenery was spectacular (OK – slightly spoilt by the scaffolding and the modern “art” that was in the gardens – but otherwise it was something special. 

There was one feature that my partner wanted to show me – and it was a gravity powered water “fountain” called “Revelation.  The detail was incredible, and the information that I managed to find (courtesy of a plaque by the sculpture / fountain) stated:

Moved by the weight of water and gravity from the lakes above, the inner sphere is filled with water causing it to descend.  This makes the outer leaves close over it as if protectively holding a secret.  A syphon then discharges the water. The lightened sphere rises. The leaves open out to reveal the preciously held secret before the cycle begins again'.

This YouTube video shows it far better than I can describe it - Revelation video

Main gate to the Stables at Chatsworth House

Then it was up to the Stables.  This area has been converted, meaning that it was a sort of shopping / eating area.  OK – the usual complaint (damned expensive on the food – the drinks weren’t too bad) but at least we managed to find somewhere to sit and plan the next part of the journey – to our overnight stay.

That wasn’t too bad – apart from the sat nav getting confused again.  (Easier to blame the sat nav than my not listening to the directions as usual!)

Dinner wasn’t bad, and it gave us a chance to have a break and plan the options for the following day.  Namely the Blue John Caverns.

Now the route to the cavern is spectacular – if you’re not driving.  And more to the point, if you go the bus / coach route, it’s a darn sight easier.  However, I decided to go the car route, and wished I hadn’t.

It was damned narrow in places, and I did most of the drive with the door mirrors folded in on the car.  But, once we’d parked we decided to have a quick coffee at the Blue John Café. The coffee was pretty good by my standards, and certainly reasonably priced.

Then it was the walk to the cavern.  It’s down quite a steep slope (but the scenery makes up for it) and the entrance doesn’t look anything special…  Now I did notice that there was a sign advising people that the cavern wasn’t suitable for pregnant women, people with cardiac problems or respiratory issues.

I know my partner didn’t spot that bit about the respiratory issues (or if he did, he didn’t mention it) and we then headed down into the cavern.  Now as he’s taller than me (OK – I know that’s not difficult when you’re just over 5ft tall) but it meant he had to duck down in places and I didn’t.

It was well illuminated, and in places you did get wet, as it’s a limestone cavern.  Again, I wish I had taken the camera with me, bit daft of me, but I suspect that the photos wouldn’t have shown very much – other than a lot of mist!

The fun started on the way back up.  It’s a deep cavern – like about 300 feet down type deep, and it’s a steep slope.  Not too bad on the way down, but the way up….  Well that was where I should have heeded the warning about the respiratory issues....

Yep – I had an asthma attack.  About 150 feet below the ground.  Not fun, I will admit, and my partner was worried about me.  My blue inhaler kicked in, and I will admit to thanking my lucky stars that it did so, as I really didn’t fancy the cave rescue option.

So I sat quietly for a bit, and then we headed back to the car.  My partner was a real sweetheart, and he went to the café to get a coffee whilst I sat in the car trying to plot a better route to the main road – preferably one that didn’t use the horrible route I’d driven in.

My partner offered to drive, as he was worried about the after effects of the asthma attack.  Now had it been the 207, I would have had no objections, as it was the older car – but the 208?  No chance in hell.  Call me a control freak, but there was no way I was relinquishing the control of my new car to anyone.

We found a route on the map showing a road heading towards Sparrowpit (or Sparrowspit as my partner insisted on calling it!), meaning that we avoided the really grotty road in, and it meant that we could start heading back towards Ashbourne and home.

Now as the pair of us hadn’t eaten, we decided to find a pub en-route home so we could have a break and something to eat. Now as my partner knew the area pretty well, I trusted his judgement on the place to eat.  And as we got closer to Ashbourne, there were fewer options, until we spotted the Bentley Brook Inn.

Once we’d had a very late lunch (OK – an early dinner) it was back on the road to my partner’s home, and then onto home for me.  I dropped him off, and he made me promise that I would let him know that I was home OK, as he admitted that he worried about me driving such a distance.

I got home OK, and admitted that I was wiped out. Needless to say my partner was less than impressed with me, and made sure that I knew how he felt – even to the extent that he told me that the next time we went away for the weekend, he was driving and that we would explore no more caverns...

If anything, this weekend has brought the pair of us closer, and made me realise just what a gem I have found.

Guess I should call this quits – I do need to get some sleep.

Back when I get the inclination…

Karen

I tell myself
Hey only fools rush in and only time will tell
If we stand the test of time
All I know
You've got to run to win and 
I'll be damned if
I'll get hung up on the line

Tuesday

Thought for the day

Monday...

Sometimes, I get something that just has me howling with laughter, and this was one of them:

This sums me up

Within the sound of silence

Is how I am feeling at the moment. My partner is stressed out of his head due to the situation that he has found himself in, and has retreated into his shell, leaving me very hurt, confused and more than a little upset.

I understand the reasons for him going quiet – he maintains that it’s better to keep quiet than say something that he may come to regret later.  But this doesn’t make me feel any better, as I am feeling incredibly vulnerable at the moment.

Simply because I feel powerless to help him, and seeing (and hearing) him so down really hurts me, and I know that there is nothing I can do to help him, other than provide a shoulder for him to lean on and a refuge for when things get rough.

So, until he manages to get things straight in his own head, all I can do is keep on providing the love and support that he needs, and pray that things get better for him (and us) soon.

Guess I should call this quits – I do need to try and get some sleep tonight, as I am at work tomorrow, not that my heart is in it…..

Karen

I tell myself
Hey only fools rush in and only time will tell
If we stand the test of time
All I know
You've got to run to win and 
I'll be damned if
I'll get hung up on the line

A new beginning....

I've been really lucky and been seeing a really sweet guy, and things are going OK.  Not perfect (what relationship is?) but we seem to be getting along OK.

He's been through hell with an ex partner (he was asked to help her get clean - drink related I hasten to add) by her daughter, and he agreed – and this is the tale so far…. 

We were planning on meeting up at the beginning of June, and I got a text from him about two weeks before we were due to meet up, saying that he would have to cancel, as he didn't think things were stable enough with this woman for him to leave her to her own devices.  

OK - I  admit that I was less than impressed, but didn't think too much of it, as I knew he was trying to help her through rehab and make sure that she stayed on the wagon.

That seemed to be going OK; as she was 60 days without a drink he thought that there was light at the end of the tunnel. There was - some b'stard with a flame thrower.  

He got a call from her whilst he was at work, and shot out of his office as he thought her life was in danger (she'd tried to commit suicide several times before).  I didn’t hear from him for a while and thought “Rats to you.  I’m obviously not good enough for you to talk to”.

I then get a text from him a couple of days later, and wasn’t too impressed – I thought it was a bit rich considering he’d not contacted me for a while.  

Then he told me the reason – he’d been arrested and charged with criminal damage for trying to get into the house to make sure that she was OK and hadn’t tried to take an overdose, and as a result of trying to help her, he spent 2 ½ days in there with no way to contact anyone

Needless to say I was stunned with that, and we got talking again and we agreed to reinstate the plans to meet up the beginning of June.  We kept in touch via text and phone (lost count of the time that we spent talking) and he finally plucked the courage to ask me out, so that meant that when we met up it would be a first date. 

I’ve never felt so comfortable with someone – and I was more than happy to be with him, as he was so sweet to be with – showing real concern when my knee cracked and caused me to squeak (and occasionally curse) and making me feel like a princess, as well as making me giggle and feel incredibly relaxed.

He was honest with me about the circumstances he found himself in (his ex had taken him to the cleaners) and that he was facing this charge despite the fact that he thought her life had been in danger.  He kept saying that he shouldn’t have gotten involved and seemed to take small comfort when I pointed out that hindsight was 20/20 vision. 

He admitted that he was worried about this court case, as his ex had made a statement alleging some rather nasty treatment of her and her youngest son, and was worried that I would walk out on him as he felt that her job would go against him in court, and that he wouldn’t be believed when he tried to tell the court what actually happened.

I will admit I did have doubts (not helped by someone who claimed to be a friend (or in this case fiend)) and when I went away on holiday, I will admit to spending quite a bit of time on my knees in prayer in the cathedral asking for help for the man that I love.

When I got back, I will admit it was a case of absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I was only too glad to see him again.  Yes, we still had the court case hanging over our relationship, but there was no way that I was going to walk away from someone who was making me so happy.

The day of the court case came, and I had made arrangements to meet up with my partner, as he didn’t want to be in the area after the case, and said that if I’d not heard from him by 17:00, then it had gone badly wrong.

I left the office at 16:00, and driving to where we were staying overnight, I ended up having to turn off the touchscreen, as I kept looking at the clock and was getting more and more worried the closer the time got to 17:00 – with no contact.

Murphy’s Law states that if it can go wrong, it does, and in this case, it was my mobile network that gave me the problems.  Because I was travelling the back route to our overnight location, my phone signal was somewhat intermittent, meaning that my dratted phone rang once and then cut out.

I managed to stop and see who had called me – it was my partner.  So, as I have Bluetooth on the car, I tried to call him back – and the damn network either wouldn’t connect, or would drop the call - before I manage to speak to him.  When I did manage to get the call to connect, his line was engaged, and his voice mail didn’t kick in, meaning that I was left fearing the worst.

I got a text just after I arrived at our accommodation asking me to call him.  I will admit that I feared the worst and called him back.  Only to nearly drop my phone when I heard him say that he was not guilty – it was the verdict that everyone had been telling him to expect, but the statement that his ex and her son had made could have made life so difficult for him.

I will admit that I was shaking by the time I got to the room, and was only too happy when my partner finally arrived. We decamped to the pub, and he told me what happened in court.  I won’t elaborate on what happened, but all I will say is that the solicitor was worth his weight in platinum (or printer ink – that’s far more expensive!)

I won’t say that it was the most restful night’s sleep I’ve had – (and no – it wasn’t for those reasons) but more because it was damned hot and my partner was somewhat wound up from the court case (with good reason!)

So, we muddled along and we had a weekend away booked for Worcester (Henwick House). It was really good – the scenery was delightful, and the memory that sticks with me from that was watching a pair of green woodpeckers on the grass about 20 feet away from our bedroom window and also watching the rabbits frolic on the grass at the top end of the garden.

The local pub - The Blue Bell  was really good.  The beer was a good price, and the food?  Well put it like this.  There were no complaints from either my partner (who is a foodie by his own admission) or myself.

On the Friday night, we opted to have the pie of the day – which was Steak and Ale.  I opted for mash and mushy peas, where as my partner opted for mash and ordinary peas (he’s not a mushy pea fan apparently!)

Put it this way.  The pie was more filling than pastry (a really nice surprise) and very tasty. 

Image from the Blue Bell website

We headed into Worcester on Saturday.  Neither of us realised that there was a food festival on, and we decided a look around once we’d been to the Royal Worcester porcelain museum and the Cathedral.

I won’t say that it was massive – busy, yes.  And expensive.  I seem to recall one stand charging something like £9 for a burger, where other stands were charging £3.  I still smile when I think of the comment of one local woman “what makes them think that people are going to pay that for a burger?  What’s it got in it?  Gold flakes?”  But there were plenty of people buying the burgers!

The only downside to Worcester as a destination is the parking.  It’s expensive.  And for some reason (known only to the county council) they have stopped the park and ride.  

Meaning that you have to struggle to get parked in one of the multi-storey car parks, and pay a stupid amount for the privilege of being crammed into a tiny parking space and stuck in traffic. 

Now I don’t have anything against public transport, but coming in from a rural location (Callow End), the public transport leaves a lot to be desired.  So the only option for visitors like us was to drive into the centre. 

Aside from that grump, my other grump is about Great Malvern.  Now you say Malvern to most people, and they instantly think Morgan cars (OK – I do), little tourist places and lots of little antique shops to peruse.

Now I won’t say that the scenery isn’t spectacular – it is.  What was disappointing was the lack of places to visit on a Sunday.  Now had I been there in the depths of winter (end January) I would have expected it to be all closed up.  But the end of July?  Something (or someone) is seriously missing a trick.

There were plenty of people walking about, and vey few things for them to do.  OK – we visited the Malvern museum, which is located in the abbey gate house:

We also visited the beautiful Malvern Priory:

Put it this way - if this is a Priory, then some cathedrals need to start worrying.

Ah well, guess I should call it quits, I do need to get some sleep...

Karen

Hold on, there's a new way a-coming
Looks like it's arriving tonight
There's no more hiding or running
There's no more walking on ice

Breaking up hurts - literally.

An odd title, I will admit, but it’s an apt description of the way that I am feeling (or not feeling) at this moment in time.

I’ve split with my partner, and it came about in probably one of the worst locations possible – as in 200+ miles from home and no way of getting back home other than travelling with my ex.

It happened Sunday night, and I admit that I should have seen this coming.  We’d been arguing on and off for about 3 months and I thought that I could get past this “little” hurdle and move our relationship on. That was a vain hope on my part.

The bank holiday weekend didn’t get off to a good start when I ended up working on the Friday morning (not my idea I hasten to add – I was asked to by my boss) and like an idiot, I agreed. So that started things off on a sour note for us.  I was slightly late leaving the office as I was trying to finish my work off (usual month end stuff) and my soon to be ex partner kept texting me to ask if I had left yet.

When I finally finished, I got to the car and called him as I was leaving the car park (I’ve got hands free Bluetooth on the car) and told him that I would be with him soon.  Thankfully, I’d already packed my bag and it was just a case of parking my car and getting on the road north.

We agreed to eat lunch en-route, as it was also a chance for us to talk on “neutral” territory and try to sort out the issued that were niggling the pair of us.  Should have guessed that wasn’t going to be something that would work – especially not the way I was feeling.

Needless to say it wasn’t a particularly pleasant journey for me, and I admit I was only too happy to get to the hotel so that I could get a little peace and quiet.  Nope – not happening.  He seemed determined to micro analyse our relationship.

Now I’m all in favour of an open and honest discussion on things – but as far as I was concerned, this was certainly not the right time or place to do such a thing.  Mainly because I was tired (I’d been stressed at work) and I was unable to walk away and cool my temper off as we were in a strange (OK strange to me) location.

So that started another row, and I admit that I was sorely tempted to sleep on the sofa in the room.  In hindsight, I wish I had.

Saturday came, and it started really well – and we met up with the family – the primary reason for going away.  They were really nice and friendly and made me feel really welcome.  But I have to admit that there was tension in the air – mainly between my ex and myself.  I felt that I was having to be something I am not – ladylike.

Now getting me to wear a dress (willingly) doesn’t happen very often.  In fact, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have done so.  And Saturday night was one of them.  Why I couldn’t wear trousers and a pretty top, I don’t know, but my ex was adamant that I was to wear a dress. 

God alone knows why – his sisters in law wore trousers, and only his mum wore a dress.  So that made me feel really uncomfortable.  I won’t say that the family wasn’t nice – they really were super and seemed to go out of their way to make me feel a part of the family.

Even though there were comments about my ex having “a southern bird” for a partner.  Now there is nothing I dislike more than being called a “bird” – and picking on me because I was born in the south of England was an added insult.  

I’ve spent longer out of the south than I ever did living there, but to them, I was still a soft southerner. Or at least I was until I pointed out that anything south of Sunderland was southern to them.

Sunday was a bit of an odd day – I met up with an old friend from my uni days, and we sat talking about what had happened since then.  It was a good natter and lunch – and even my ex was quite animated, and sharing the jokes with us.  I didn’t think anything of the way my friend was with me - he was his usual self – if it was female and reasonably pretty, he flirted -the way he always did.

That was something that irritated my ex – he accused me of flirting with my friend.  Ignoring the fact that my friend’s wife was sitting beside him at lunch, and he'd also been sharing the jokes with us.

Sunday night was when things really became interesting.  My ex decided he wanted to talk, and that was fine with me...

Until it became a lecture on the things that he had found fault with over the weekend.  That was the final straw, and I exploded, resulting in something that I haven’t done for years. I lashed out physically, and if he hadn't moved, I would have hit him. 

I hit the wall, and then stomped out of the room - not stopping to grab watch, phone or anything other than the room key.

When I had finally cooled down, I walked back via reception, and had the humiliating experience of having to ask if they could get me some extra bed linen so that I could sleep on the sofa bed.

So Monday’s trip back home was hell on earth.  I had a text from a good friend asking if I was OK, and that was when the floodgates opened via text.  I admitted that I was heading for home, and that my relationship was over.

I got home in one piece physically (but in pieces emotionally), and spend time with my family, and when I went to bed, I just couldn’t get warm. 

The heating was on in the house, my room was lovely and warm, and I had an extra blanket on over my duvet, but I was cold.  I guess it was a kind of emotional shock, and all I can say is that I owe my friend a debt of gratitude that I doubt I will ever be able to repay.

Karen

To run away from you

Was all that I could do.

To run away from you

Was all that I could do.

The lurgy has struck... Again.

I feel bloody awful, and it feels like someone has decided to set my lungs on fire.  Yes, it's the dreaded lurgy.

It's been doing the rounds of the office, and people are dropping like flies, meaning that those of us that are daft enough to come in are having to do our own work as well as picking up the work that our colleagues.

So, as I sit here at my computer, I feel like crap.  It's starting to hurt to breathe, and I'm wondering if I should call the vet (OK - my GP practice) tomorrow morning to see if I need to start the antibiotics / oral steroids that I keep as part of  my asthma emergency kit.  I don't want to start taking the antibiotics if I really don't need to take them.

Guess I should call this quits - I've got to drink the blasted hot blackcurrant.  I wouldn't mind, but it's foul!

Karen

You look at me and you weep
For the free blue skies
I look to the stars
As they flicker and float in your eyes
And under these wings of steel
The small town dies

That which does not kill us makes us stronger

In theory.  Instead, it just turns people into human pancakes, or gibbering wrecks.

Why do people insist on sending stupid emails asking for a response when you have already said that you are up to your eyeballs in work (and in some cases, breathing through a snorkel and are just awaiting the arrival of the proverbial seagull)?  All this does is stress people out even further, and adds to an already over the top workload.

It wouldn't be so bad, but I'm getting to the stage where I am going to go bang - and not in a good way.  I'm tired, frustrated and ready to tell someone where to go and shove themselves.  And it's all because someone cannot leave me alone to get on with my work, and insists on updates for every little thing that I am doing.

Ok - not an issue - but this has to be done in writing.  Meaning that I have to take time away from the stuff that I am *supposed* to be trying to sort out, and so putting myself even further behind schedule, and this results in even more grief from people who have asked me to carry out the tasks in the first damned place.

The worst part is, my personal life is suffering, as I am being told by people who mean a heck of a lot to me that I have cut communication with them.  I have - but it's primarily because I am all stressed out, and really do not want to inflict my bad temper on people who do not deserve me going berserk at them.

All I want to do is get back to the way I was this time last year - happy, and relatively stress free, instead of being stressed out of my proverbial head all the damned time.

Time to call this quits - I need to crawl into my pit with the kindle.

Don't know when I'll be back - depends on how stressed out I get.

Karen

You look at me and you weep
For the free blue skies
I look to the stars
As they flicker and float in your eyes
And under these wings of steel
The small town dies