Trying to break with the past - but the past won't let me escape

The break away in Edinburgh was just what the doctor ordered - even if I did have a major hangover! But that was self inflicted - I went drinking with some Italian rugby fans after the match. They were drowning their sorrows - I was celebrating, and my other half was just enjoying himself - not to mention trying to block out the freezing cold wind!

The problems arose when we got back to our respective homes. I'd left my 'phone turned off over the weekend, as the people I cared about knew that I was going to be away, and was unlikely to even think about turning my 'phone on, let alone check to see if there were any messages.

When I did turn my 'phone on, I discovered that there were about half a dozen messages - all from my ex-fiance. He sounded desperate, irritated and indifferent, depending on the order that I'd listened to the messages. I will admit, all it did was upset me, as all I want is to be left alone.

But, that wasn't the only trick up his sleeve... He called me last night, and said that he needed to see me, as his father had been diagnosed with cancer, and hadn't got long to live. OK - call me a nasty sceptical cow, but after I'd spoken to him, I called his sister to see what the real truth was.

Yep - you guessed it. He was just stringing me along, as he doesn't know that I'm still in contact with the rest of his family, as I always had time for them. I did the decent thing, and told my other half, who went loopy, and was all in favour of going down south, and beating the living crap out of him.

To be honest, I felt like doing that, but if I did go down south and confront him, it would give him the idea that I care about him, when all I want is for him to leave me the hell alone. And to be honest, it's getting to the stage where I'm worried about answering my 'phone.

I know that there will be people reading this, and who will be sitting there, muttering "Silly cow. Why don't you change your mobile number and e-mail address so that he can't contact you?"

If it was that easy, I would do so, but I fail to see the reason why I should have all the hassle of changing my contact details, just because some moron can't get it through his thick skull that I want nothing more to do with him.

Ah well, time to log of and bog off - I've got stuff to do before I get to bed tonight....

Back when I get chance.

Karen.


Don't let the b'stards get you down.

Weekends were made for escaping....

I guess that the title of this entry says it all. I've escaped from Warwickshire, and am currently updating my blog whilst seated in my Great-Uncle's study in Wilkeston - on the outskirts of Edinburgh.

What am I doing here? Simple. It has to do with the small matter of a rugby international between those two "super powers" of world rugby - Scotland and Italy, in the Six Nations tournament at Murrayfield.

For more years than I care to admit to (ok - about 10!) my uncle has bought me tickets to a rugby international of my choice as a birthday / Christmas present. So, I took him up on his offer and took this particular game.

Ok - maybe it's not the game that most purists would have chosen, but I wanted to see my uncle on his home turf, and sit and shoot the breeze with him, as I'd not seen him since last year - at Dad's funeral.

But I'm not here on my own. I've brought my other half with me, as he's a rugby fanatic, but has never managed to make it to an international for one reason or another, and has for as long as I've known him, been on about getting tickets.

So, without his knowledge, I made the necessary arrangements, having made sure that he wasn't working this weekend by asking his manager, and explaining my motives. (I'll give the guy his due, he's a damned good actor, as he looked really surprised when my other half told him what I'd done!) And then all I had to do was choose the right moment to tell my other half...

I gave him the news of this particular trip on Thursday night, The look of surprise was something I'll treasure, and he looked at me as if he wasn't quite sure about me, as he knows that I'm quite capable of winding him up like clockwork.

I managed to dispel his fears by producing the flight confirmation for the flight to Edinburgh from Birmingham on the Friday night flight, and the return flight on Sunday night.

Ah well, suppose I'd better log off and bog off - there are things I want to do before I go to the rugby....

Back tomorrow - hangover permitting!

Karen.


Don't let the b'stards get you down.

Howling with laughter...

I couldn't resist posting this joke - it came in from a Texas native, and believe me, his chili dishes are lethal - a case of one fart and you cauterize your haemaroides!

If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. Most people will be crying by the end.

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.

They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio city park. The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event: (Frank is Judge #3)


Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili...

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 (Frank) Holy Moly what the hell is in this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy!


Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili....

Judge # 1 ? Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. These hicks are out of their minds.


Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans

Judge # 2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting frog-faced from all of the beer...


Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic?

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish orother mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb woman is starting to look HOT... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?


Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 --Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.


Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices & peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I messed myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.


Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili..

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.**

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and Iwouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella. Wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?



The moral of the story?

Life is not like a box of chocolates. Life is like a jar of jalapeños.


What you do today may burn your ass tomorrow!


Back when I get peace and quiet from the moggies....

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down.

Shoe bomber Update...

This is a copy of the e-mail that I received yesterday - the only editing I've done is to remove the sender's identity.

Karen.
Remember the guy who got on a plane with a bomb built into his shoe and tried to light it? Did you know his trial is over? Did you know he was sentenced? Did you see/hear any of the judge's comments on TV/Radio? Didn't think so. Everyone should hear what the judge had to say.

Ruling by Judge William Young US District Court

Prior to sentencing, the Judge asked the defendant if he had anything to say.

His response: After admitting his guilt to the court for the record, Reid also admitted his "allegiance to Osama bin Laden, to Islam, and to the religion of Allah," defiantly stated "I think I ought not apologize for my actions," and told the court "I am at war with your country."

Judge Young then delivered the statement quoted below, a stinging condemnation of Reid in particular and terrorists in general:

January 30, 2003, United States vs. Reid. Judge Young: Mr. Richard C. Reid, hearken now to the sentence the Court imposes upon you. On counts 1, 5 and 6 the Court sentences you to life in prison in the custody of the United States Attorney General. On counts 2, 3, 4 and 7, the Court sentences you to 20 years in prison on each count, the sentence on each count to run consecutive with the other.

That's 80 years. On count 8 the Court sentences you to the mandatory 30 years consecutive to the 80 years just imposed. The Court imposes upon you each of the eight counts a fine of $250,000 for the aggregate fine of $2 million. The Court accepts the government's recommendation with respect to restitution and orders restitution in the amount of $298.17 to Andre Bousquet and $5,784 to American Airlines. The Court imposes upon you the $800 special assessment.

The Court imposes upon you five years supervised release simply because the law requires it. But the life sentences are real life sentences so I need go no further. This is the sentence that is provided for by our statutes. It is a fair and just sentence. It is a righteous sentence.

Let me explain this to you. We are not afraid of you or any of your terrorist co-conspirators, Mr. Reid. We are Americans. We have been through the fire before. There is all too much war talk here and I say that to everyone with the utmost respect. Here in this court, where we deal with individuals as individuals and care for individuals as individuals. As human beings, we reach out for justice.

You are not an enemy combatant. You are a terrorist. You are not a soldier in any war. You are a terrorist. To give you that reference, to call you a soldier, gives you far too much stature. Whether it is the officers of government who do it or your attorney who does it, or that happens to be your view, you are a terrorist... And we do not negotiate with terrorists. We do not treat with terrorists. We do not sign documents with terrorists. We hunt them down one by one and bring them to justice.

So war talk is way out of line in this court. You are a big fellow. But you are not that big. You're no warrior. I know warriors. You are a terrorist. A species of criminal guilty of multiple attempted murders. In a very real sense, State Trooper Santiago had it right when you first were taken off that plane and into custody and you wondered where the press and where the TV crews were and he said you're no big deal.

You're no big deal.

What your counsel, what your able counsel and what the equally able United States attorneys have grappled with and what I have as honestly as I know how tried to grapple with, is why you did something so horrific. What was it that led you here to this court room today?

I have listened respectfully to what you have to say. And I ask you to search your heart and ask yourself what sort of unfathomable hate led you to do what you are guilty and admit you are guilty of doing. And I have an answer for you. It may not satisfy you, but as I search this entire record, it comes as close to understanding as I know.

It seems to me you hate the one thing that is most precious. You hate our freedom. Our individual freedom. Our individual freedom to live as we choose, to come and go as we choose, to believe or not believe as we individually choose. Here, in this society, the very winds carry freedom. They carry it everywhere from sea to shining sea.

It is because we prize individual freedom so much that you are here in this beautiful courtroom. So that everyone can see, truly see, that justice is administered fairly, individually, and discretely. It is for freedom's sake that your lawyers are striving so vigorously on your behalf and have filed appeals, will go on in their representation of you before other judges.

We are about it. Because we all know that the way we treat you, Mr. Reid, is the measure of our own liberties. Make no mistake though. It is yet true that we will bare any burden; pay any price, to preserve our freedoms. Look around this courtroom. Mark it well. The world is not going to long remember what you or I say here. Day after tomorrow, it will be forgotten, but this, however, will long endure. Here in this courtroom and courtrooms all across America, the American people will gather to see that justice, individual justice, justice, not war, individual justice is in fact being done.

The very President of the United States through his officers will have to come into courtrooms and lay out evidence on which specific matters can be judged and juries of citizens will gather to sit and judge that evidence democratically, to mold and shape and refine our sense of justice.

See that flag, Mr. Reid? That's the flag of the United States of America. That flag will fly there long after this is all forgotten. That flag stands for freedom. You know it always will.

Mr. Custody Officer. Stand him down.

So, how much of this Judge's comments did we hear on our TV sets? We need more judges like Judge Young, but that's another subject. Pass this around. Everyone should and needs to hear what this fine judge had to say. Powerful words that strike home.
God bless America

More from the wounded one...

Ok - I know that sounds melodramatic, but it's just how I'm feeling at this moment in time. I went into work yesterday - against Mum's wishes, but I'm glad in a way that I did.

Simply because we'd got four people in the department off. Ok - I know one of them doesn't really count (and no - I'm not being rude / nasty) because my line manager doesn't take any of the calls, but the other three do count.

And, as it transpired, if I hadn't been in, most of the reports that I do wouldn't have been done. No, that's not me blowing my own trumpet - it's a statement of fact, as the guy who normally covers for me if I'm on holiday / off sick / got tnfi (totally no f*****g interest) was also off.

But, despite that, my colleagues were really supportive and seemed to make allowances for me being a little slower on the computer than normal, as I'm one of these lucky (ok - smart ass) people that can type properly - as in using all the fingers of both hands.

Equally, I was glad I went into work, as it gave me a chance to catch up on the 50 + e-mails that seem to have landed in my in-box. I occasionally get spam, but more often than not, I get some real gems being sent into me - this one being one of them....

See the next post for the e-mail - it deserves a post of its own.

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down.

Sorry for not updating my blog... But I’ve got a good excuse!

I guess the title of this entry says it all. There hasn’t been much happening in my life – I wake up, go to work, deal with people I like and dislike, come home, have dinner and crash out asleep.

But that changed on Friday, when Flame decided to throw me off, because she’d got a sore back – something I didn’t know about until I got the vet to have a look at her.

When I came off Flame, I landed on my back. Ok, as I’ve said in the past, when I ride any horse, I wear my body armour – but that doesn’t protect you from the instinct to put an arm out to cushion the fall.

Me being my normal self, put my right arm out to protect my back and lessen the impact, and felt a slight pull in the shoulder… I didn’t think too much about being thrown off and bits ached, but there was nothing drastic for me to worry about – or so I thought…

The real fun and games started over the weekend, when Mum decided that the best option was for her to drive, as my shoulder was giving me problems, and I’d agreed that the best course of action was to go and see my GP (General Practitioner – also known as the family doctor) if things hadn’t improved by Thursday…

Or rather that was the plan. I was at my desk on Tuesday, and reached slightly awkwardly to get a rather heavy file from the other side of my desk, when I felt the familiar, horrible tearing sensation in my shoulder.

I could have cheerfully screamed and passed out, but somehow managed to complete the call I was on, before going green. I took two 500mg paracetamol tablets, in the vain hope that they would quieten things down, but they didn’t even come close to touching the pain.

It got to the stage when I ended up leaving early, as I’d been lucky enough to get an emergency appointment with my GP and went to pick Mum up from work, as we’d travelled in together, and I’d been the one to drive!

Thankfully, Mum was happy(ish) to drive my car in order to get me to the doctors’ surgery, and said that if I was going to have to go to Warwick hospital for x-rays, she wanted to make a detour home and collect her car, which had her glasses in, and more to the point, she was fully insured driving it – my car is only covered 3rd party insurance for her to drive!

I was called into see the doctor on time, and he examined my shoulder and reviewed my notes from the previous visits for my shoulder. He said that he couldn’t see that there was any need for me to go for any x-rays (YES!) as he said:

“If you have any more x-rays, I think your shoulder may drop off or you’ll glow in the dark”

I was also told to take yesterday (Wednesday) off, and that I was to use my own discretion about returning to work, and if I was still in pain on Friday, then I was to make an appointment for Monday, and get the shoulder join re-checked.

So, as I type this, I’m seated at my home computer, with my right arm immobilised in a sling again, and am drugged up to the eyeballs on various pain killers, trying to lead some semblance of a normal life.

As I said in a message to one of my colleagues yesterday, when she asked how I was feeling:

“….. The painkillers take the edge off things, but I still feel very woolly headed – more than normal!”

And add to that, the mere fact that I’ve managed about 6 hours sleep in the past 48 hours, and you can see why I’ve opted to take these past two days off. But that doesn’t stop me feeling guilty because I feel that I’ve dropped my colleagues in the brown smelly stuff, as there is an awful lot of stuff that I am responsible for, apart from doing my obligatory mickey taking!

I guess that there is a positive side – I’ve been able to watch a couple of really good films – Bruce Willis in The Fifth Element and Will Smith in I, Robot. Both were films that I’d bought, but never had chance to sit and watch.

But, being off work, and refusing to watch the crap that masquerades as daytime television, it gave me a damned good excuse to get as comfortable as possible, get the cats settled and watch the films without interruption. (I’d turned my mobile phone off!)

Time to go and spray my shoulder again (yes – it does help being a partial contortionist – especially as I’ve failed in my attempts to train either cat to use an aerosol for me!) Then I’m going to settle down and watch The Mothman Prophecies – with Richard Gere. He’s not an actor I normally like, but from what I’ve been told, it’s a damned good film...

Back when I get chance, and hopefully, I’ll be feeling brighter…

Karen.

Don’t let the b’stards get you down.

A quiet weekend...

There's nothing like spending a weekend with friends to make you sure that you feel refreshed and ready for work on the Monday. Or not as the case may be. I was fine until I had Flame stand on my bloody hand this morning, whilst I was picking her feet out. Ok - I know that it wasn't intentional, but it hurt like hell, and I've never seen a horse look so offended when I swore.

Still, I guess it could have been a lot worse, and I could have ended up with a broken hand, instead of a badly bruised one. But that doesn't stop me typing, or doing all the other stupid things that I seem to have the ability to do...

Including winding up my other half about the rugby - England got beaten by Wales. But that was my pay back for him taking the mickey out of me, as I support Scotland in the Six Nations (don't ask - it's a long story!)

Suppose I should get on with some w*rk....

Back later, if I get peace and quiet...

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down.

Something to inspire the workers perhaps???

Some pertinent advice....

Couldn't resist these - and White Wolf - you're warped!!!

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle.

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.

The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.

Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.

On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staringat her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

Now for the joke:

A man suffered a serious heart attack and had an open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.

As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he would like to pay for his treatment. She asked if he had health insurance.

He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked if he had money in the bank.

He replied, "No money in the bank."

The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"

He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."

The patient replied," Send the bill to my brother-in-law"

Back when I get peace and quiet!

Karen.

Don't let the b'stards get you down