Walking in the Shadows

Random musings from Warwickshire on life in general... Things that make me laugh, make me cry, things that wind me up beyond all endurance - and everything in between.

Weather Warning

I make no apologies for posting this - it made me grin.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most


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Weather Warning - we are expecting 2 feet of snow


King Arthur and the Witch

Something else that made me smile this morning, and all I will say is read this all the way through.


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most


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King Arthur and the Witch:

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?... What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high, as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below.

BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below.

OKAY?















Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story?



The moral is.....

If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly

The Husband Store

It's amazing what I get sent, and I just couldn't resist posing this, as it really made me giggle this morning.

Enjoy.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most


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Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:


Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:


Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'


So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.


She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'


Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.


She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


(Scroll and keep reading!)


PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Returning from an escape - Part II…

Well, I’ve done my unpacking – it was more a case of getting the washing out of the case so that Mum doesn’t spend ages wondering what is clean and what needs washing from the trip.

After we’d been to York on Wednesday, we headed south (ok – I got it wrong with the Satnav, and took a slight detour), but eventually ended up on the right route – the A1M south, with the intention of linking up with the main M1.

That was something that really surprised me. Compared with the idiots on the motorways in this area, the driving standard was incredible – as there were very few people doing over the 70mph limit… Normally, if you’re doing 70mph on the M1 in this area, you’re in the inside lane (lane 1) with the HGVs chasing you. I suspect that this is due to rigorous enforcement of the speed limits by the motorway police patrols.

Once off the motorway (and Mum had finished cursing me for the fact that I had chosen Darth Vader as the Satnav voice, which comes out with such gems as “I sense an exit approaching” and “You have reached your destination – but you are not a Jedi yet”), the Satnav took me the most obscure route possible to the Premier Inn, but we managed get there…

And once I had done so, I did wonder if I’d gotten the right place, as it looked totally different to the image on the website. It was the right one, and I will admit to having second thoughts about the accommodation, but pushed them to the back of my mind.

We got checked in, and headed to the room, where I promptly flopped onto the bed with my book (Hannibal by Robert Harris – the book that the film is based on and is infinitely more scary), and started to chill out…

Or at least I did until the noise of a train shattered the peace that I was trying to establish. Cursing as I clambered off the bed, I went to the window, and spotted that the main East Coast railway line was about 1/3rd of a mile away from us, and appeared to be on the same level as our room (which was on the first floor.)

Not a good sign, and I should have realised that things weren’t going to improve. We’d booked dinner in the restaurant / bar of the hotel, and when we got seated, it was freezing cold. As Mum remarked “what bright spark puts the A/C on in the middle of November?” and we weren’t the only ones to object…

Dinner itself wasn’t much to write about (it was tasty, and filled a gap to a point) and I was only too glad to crawl into my pit… Until the noise from the bar (which kicked out at midnight) woke me up. I don’t know if it was the smokers having their final nicotine fix before they went to bed, but they didn’t endear themselves to either me or Mum.

But the best was yet to come. As per normal, my alarm went off at 07:00 (I’m beginning to really dislike the James Blunt Song “You’re Beautiful” but that’s only because it’s my alarm clock tone!) and I staggered out of bed to grab a shower.

Or so the plan was. Mum had already tried the hot water in the basin, and it was non-existent. So, I called the reception, and they sent someone up to sort it. Fine. Not. We were told that if we left it about 30 mins, then there should be hot water, as everyone was using the showers at the same time, meaning that there was no spare hot water.

To say I was unimpressed was an understatement, and Mum and I both went down for breakfast, hoping that there would be hot water when we got back. There was – just about, and the pair of us were muttering very darkly about it, and both agreed that this was probably the worst Premier Inn that we had ever stayed in.

However, it was very convent for Meadowhall (see http://www.meadowhall.co.uk/)and we managed to get parked very easily. Almost too easily if I’m honest, and we soon found the reason why. The place didn’t open until 10:00, and we were about an hour too early. Thank god for Costa Coffee which was open, and allowed the pair of us to plot our movements around the centre.

It’s a bit of a weird set up, and although it’s on two levels, very few shops had both levels taken, meaning that if you wanted to go to the upper level, you had to either find an escalator or fight your way into a lift (or risk being toppled on the stairs.)

On the whole, I would say that it’s reminiscent of Merry Hill, and yes, there were some interesting individual shops, but if I’m brutally honest, I wouldn’t make a special trip to go up there.

The Thursday night was just as bad as the previous night, and again, it was a case of no hot water, despite the fact that I decided to treat myself to an extra half hour in bed. But not that I was able to sleep, again due to the damned noise. And yet again, there was no hot water, and this was about 08:30!

Mum and I did something that we’ve never had cause to do in the whole time that we’ve used Premier Inn – we invoked the “Goodnight Guarantee” for both nights, as the pair of us were exhausted. Mum was worried about me driving but I knew as soon as I was out of that grotty place, and heading for home I would feel 100% better.

As I type this, yes, I am tired, but I know that I’ll feel better once I have crawled into my own bed, and had the joyful sound that is Wrennie Hendrix (that’s what I call our resident wren – I swear the little sod has a Stratocaster and power amp that it uses to serenade the garden) waking me up tomorrow morning.

Ah well, time to call this quits – I’ve got to be up early tomorrow morning – there appears to be no rest for the horrible..

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Returning from an escape- Part I…

Well, I’m back from my break in York and Sheffield. As per normal, I’ll split this into two posts, otherwise a single post will be way too long and complicated.

Mum and I left home at 05:55 on Monday, with the rain hammering down. The idea was to get through the bottleneck at Derby, as I refused to use the M1. Not because I am afraid of motorways, far from it. It’s more a case of preserving my driving license and helping the fuel economy on the car (and given the weather conditions, the spray on the motorway would have been horrendous to drive in).

So, it wasn’t a bad run and we were through Derby and well en-route when we decided to stop for breakfast (think we were near Alfreton). So, we stopped at the Little Chef. Ok – not a problem there, but Mum and I were the only ones in the restaurant. Considering it was attached to a Travel Lodge, the guests didn’t seem to be showing any inclination to eat there.

Mind you, I guess that I can see the reason why. A breakfast at the Premier Inn group that I tend to stay in will cost £7.95 for the Premier Breakfast, which is everything that is on offer, from croissants to a full cooked breakfast and everything in between, with drinks included in the price. However, a breakfast at the Little Chef would be about £10 (or more), as you would have to buy the breakfast and drinks of your choice individually.

Aside from that, I appreciated the break as driving in the rain wasn’t pleasant – mainly because it was dark until about 07:30 (I loathe the switch back to GMT – the only benefit that I can see is the fact that I get an extra hour in bed the day or rather night that the clocks go back).

Then it was back on track, again avoiding the motorway, and to be honest, there wasn’t much to look at (or stop off for) on the way up to York…  Or at least not until I spotted a sign that said “York Designer Village"

That was it. The perfect place to stop and have a break from driving, as I was getting bored with driving, and Mum was starting to suffer from “numb bum” syndrome. So, we parked and headed into the outlet.

To call it a designer outlet was somewhat misleading. Yes, there were a few designer outlets there (think one of them was Armani, and another was L K Bennett) but most of them were the usual run of the mill high street shops – places like Next and Marks & Spencer spring to mind immediately, with a few others mixed in with them.

Lunch was nothing too special – it was a jacket potato (ok – mine had chicken tikka as the filling) but it did the job, and allowed us to get back on the road to the Premier Inn that I had booked for the first part of our trip.

The rest of the trip was uneventful, and we managed to locate the Premier Inn without much hassle.

The approach to the hotel was somewhat disconcerting, but once I’d gotten over the fact that it was almost a single track road to get past the pub that the hotel was behind, it was nice and easy to park.

The hotel itself was very well appointed – just what I’ve come to expect from Premier inn, and although the bathroom was a slightly odd layout, (the bathroom door was placed so that the toilet area could be closed off from the main bathroom) it was just what I wanted. Apart from the fact that there was a shower cubical instead of a bath.

Ok – that did take some getting used to, as it didn’t allow as much movement space as I am accustomed to, but once I was used it, it was nice and easy to use, with plenty of hot water.

Dinner was at the Dormouse, which was part of the Vintage Inn group – not one that I know much about (although I think there is a pub that I’ve been to with my beloved that is part of the same group – I’ll have to ask him) and to say that I was spoilt for choice was an understatement.

Good beer (think things like Black Sheep and Sharps Doombar on draught) and the food menu was very good as well. To say that I was stuffed after my choice was an understatement (but I think that the pint of Doombar helped as well!)

The following morning, after breakfast Mum and I headed into York, using the Park and Ride (think it was the Rawston Lane one – I can recall that it was the Green line though) The weather was vile, and I have to admit, York is rather reminiscent of a rabbit warren – and is hardly compact when it comes to shopping. It’s ok I guess if you know your way around the city, but as I haven’t been to York for about 20 years or so, things have changed an awful lot.

As the weather was so vile (think heavy rain and very cold wind) Mum and I spent most of our time dodging in and out of the various shops. The one I was pleased to find was Culppeper – there was one in Leamington many years ago, but it closed and has been replaced by some perfume shop or other…

Aside from that, there were quite a few individual shops, that ranged from really interesting (things like the Whisky Shop on Coppergate) to the run of the mill (like Marks and Spencer)

As the weather was so vile, I skipped my trip to see York Minster, as I was cold and tired – I think the early start on Monday had knocked the living daylights out of me, so it was a cold walk back to the bus stop. Thankfully, we didn’t have too long to wait, and we were soon back in the room at the hotel (and I have to admit that I was soon asleep!)

The following day (Wednesday) we headed back into York, as I was determined to go around the Minster. Again, it wasn’t very pleasant weather, but at least it wasn’t raining – just blasted cold. As Mum didn’t fancy going around the Minster, we agreed to meet in the Costa coffee shop that was near (ok – opposite) the park and ride bus stop.

So, off I scampered to the Minster- only to discover the entrance had been changed, and was in a different location. But that was soon overcome, and I entered the Minster. The memories came flooding back, as the last time I was there was with Dad, and I remember being awestruck even then.

I spent a shorter time there than I would have really liked, but as I was supposed to be heading to our next stop, it meant I couldn’t spend as long as I would have liked (plus I didn’t have my camera with me – something for which I am kicking myself for) but as I was going to be going to Sheffield Meadowhall I didn’t really want to have to leave the camera in the car…

Ah well, time to call this quits – I’m supposed to be unpacking – not blogging.

Back later with the details about the Sheffield leg of the trip…


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Canadian Billboards are Great

These got sent to me by a colleague, and they’ve really brightened up a gloomy afternoon. Enjoy.


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most


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Canadian Billboards are Great!


Now I know why I like our neighbors to the North. Nothing they do is politically correct.










GED Test

Some times, you just have to post things – and this is one of them. All I will say is enjoy.


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most


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The following questions were set in last year's GED examination.

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs                    

(Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery                         

(So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

(Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.

(WTF?!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

(That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

(Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

(OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

(Brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

More news...

I’ve just received another e-mail from my beloved:

Good afternoon

Just to let you know the company is with immediate effect in administration.

There are likely to be some redundancies possibly as soon as tomorrow morning. The company is in the High Court in London and the administrators will be here until a conclusion is met.

They are hopeful of a sale but this may not be until next Friday at the earliest. We are to try to continue to trade but it will be almost impossible. It’s been fun but right now it is not

There isn’t a lot I can add to this right now, as my head is spinning, and I dread to think how my beloved is feeling right now.

Back when I get the chance.


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Well, Smeg.

Not the sort of e-mail that I wanted to receive under any circumstances. My beloved's company has been in trouble for a while, and I received this e-mail from him this morning:

Good morning

Well the state of play today is that we have a team of administrators in with us today. They are here to determine redundancies throughout the company.

We may well be told that we are no longer needed by the end of the week and that we are all redundant. This is all happening as this goes to print as you can guess the atmosphere here is not at all good as this well may be our last day of trading.

God alone knows what the outcome will be. Of course I will let you know how it seems to be panning out as soon as there is anything to say. That is if I can still e-mail from here....


To say I am shaken is an understatement. Ok - I knew that there was a chance that he was going to have to re-apply for his job, but to see it in writing from him just seems to make it all the more real.

All I can do at this moment in time is pray that everything goes ok for him, as it’s not nice to go through this at anytime of year, and on the run up to Christmas just makes it seem all the worst. But as I know that he is capable of pulling thought this, and I have every intention of making sure that his health doesn’t suffer.

Ah well, I guess I should call this quits – I'm nearly at the end of my lunch break – not that I could eat anything.

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

Return of the Cookie

Well, my phone is now back on my desk where it belongs. The muppets that had it for repair called to say it was ready – only they didn’t speak to me – they spoke to Mum. When she said I wasn’t available, the muppet on the phone got quite snotty, and Mum politely pointed out that I was at work. She then asked a relevant question for me – as in does the phone work?

Only to be told that they couldn’t test it without the SIM card. Lying sods. I demonstrated the phone was knackered without the SIM card, so it appears that they couldn’t be bothered to check.

So, I made sure that I had the paperwork with me this afternoon, and went to collect the Cookie. Ok – so good so far. Until I was asked to sign the paperwork that said the product was in an acceptable condition – even before I had checked to see if it was working. No way was I going to sign anything until I knew that the fault had been sorted out, and the phone looked / worked OK.

The muppet on the collection desk wasn’t too impressed, but I wasn’t signing anything until I was happy that the Cookie worked. Thankfully it did, and I returned to the office… Only to realise that I had dropped the micro SD card for my Cookie.

Thankfully I found it, and it’s now safely stored in my phone, so I can copy all the contacts back onto the Cookie, as well as the dedicated ring tones for friends and family (at least I now know who’s calling me without having to look at the display!)

Ah well, time to call this quits – I need to put the Cookie on charge, as I’ve managed to deplete the battery with all the things that I've had to restore.

Back tomorrow, if I get the chance.


Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most

The Older Crowd.

Just a little something that made me smile…

Enjoy.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most


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A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

"Is it true,' she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so" the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."

****************************************************************************

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aging:

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

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Some people try to turn back their odometers.

Not me!

I want people to know 'why' I look this way.

I've travelled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

****************************************************************************

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

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One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft...

Today, it's called golf..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.

The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second old guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"

The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old , tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing a mini skirt. What does your wife look like?"

To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter, let's look for yours."

****************************************************************************

Lord, Keep Your arm around my shoulder, and Your hand over my mouth!

More jokes

Well, the jokes are comming in thick and fast today - and it's not even 09:00.  So, I've posted the best ones here.

Enjoy.

Karen

Now some things you hold on to - and some you just let go
Seems like the ones that you can't have
Are the ones that you want most


*********************************************************************************

Italian Confession

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini , Italy , went to the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:

"Father.. During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our
neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that."

"There is more to tell, Father.. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays."

The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."

"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question."

"And what is that?" asked the priest.


"Should I tell her the war is over?"


And this one: