Walking in the Shadows

Random musings from Warwickshire on life in general... Things that make me laugh, make me cry, things that wind me up beyond all endurance - and everything in between.

When I've sat by the window, and gazed at the rain...

I’m a little calmer today, but not that much. Mum and I went shopping today, to get the last minute bits and pieces that we need four our holiday to Madeira (we fly out from Birmingham airport at 08:00 on Monday morning).

I will admit to being reluctant to go out, as all I wanted to do was curl up in bed, and cry my heart out; because it was the first night I’d spent without Ponto snoring contentedly in my room.

Ok – I know I’ve had weekends away, but since I found out just how ill he was, I stayed at home as much as my job would allow and spend the nights with him snuggled up next to me in my bed.

But, over the past week or so, he seemed to be struggling to breathe, so I got an old pillow, folded it up, and made sure that he had his head resting on it, so that he could breathe.

Even now, as I sit typing my blog up, I miss the furry little fiend, as he used to lie on top of my computer (or printer – depending on how annoying he wanted to be) and snore – just enough to drown out whatever music I was foolish enough to try and listen to on my computer.

I know there will be people calling me a bloody fool because I’m so cut up about Ponto. Yes, he was just a cat, but he was with me for a good part of my life – 13 years – and took great delight in disapproving of practically all the people I decided to see. (I almost wish that I’d listened to him at times – I might have saved myself an awful lot of heartache!)

So, I guess this is my requiem for a cat:

Farewell my furry fiend
May there be things for you to terrorise and chase
And a welcoming pair of arms to cuddle you when you want them

May there be a warm bed waiting for you
And a plate of something nice to eat
Complete with a pint of Channel Islands milk to wash it all down with


Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Goodbye my pussy cat

I can hardly see through my tears as I type this. Ponto has been put to sleep, and died quietly in my arms this evening.

I’m sorry – I can’t type anymore.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Reaching the end of the road?

This evening has been one of the most emotionally draining I’ve ever had the misfortune to experience.

John (the vet who deals with Fred and Ponto) made a house call tonight, to see how Ponto is, as he agreed that it would be less stressful to all concerned if Ponto wasn’t put into the cat carrier, and came out like a furry atom bomb – complete with the teeth and claws of a small Siberian tiger!

But that doesn’t mean that Ponto doesn’t get things all his own way. John might be daft enough to agree to a home visit, but he still brings the little muzzle and booties for the cat.

He examined Ponto, and then broke the news. He wants to see him again on Friday night, and has said that Ponto is fast approaching the end, and that he will start suffering.

I will admit to being in denial (and still am as I type this entry) as Ponto was double teaming with Fred yesterday – they were playing tag and generally terrorising the life out of one of the local dogs – it was quite funny to watch the pair of them and you would not have thought that there was anything wrong with Ponto at all.

So, until Friday arrives, all I can do is cuddle Ponto and make sure that he is spoilt rotten, and hopefully, make him realise that he means the world to me.

Time to call this quits – I need to get some sleep tonight – as I can see that the next couple of days will fly past – especially as I’ve got to make sure that my understudy knows what the hell he has to do, when it comes to dealing with my OTR work…

Back tomorrow if I get the chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Starting the day with a smile or two….

Ok – I apologise in advance if people have seen these jokes before, but they made me grin!

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

*************************************************

The Koala and the Little Lizard




A koala is sitting up in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says

"Hey Koala! What are you doing?"

The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."



So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.

After a while, the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned, and then fell into the river while taking a drink.


The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says

"Hey you!"





So the koala looks down at him and says:



"Fuckin’ hell dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"


*************************************************

Two Scots, Angus and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's forthcoming wedding.


"Ach, it's all going grand," says Jock. "I've got everything organised already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night...


Angus nods approvingly. "Havens, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jock.


"A kilt?" exclaims Angus, "That's braw, you'll look pure smart in that! "And what's the tartan?" Angus then enquires.


"Och," says Jock, "I'd imagine she'll be in white..."

Getting dragged shopping...

Is a real pain in the behind. But, when it's Julian doing the dragging, it's even worse.

He's a major pain in the butt when it comes to shopping, and can make my life absolutely hell, as he knows damned well that I am most comfortable in jeans and a top.

But, because I've got my cousin's weeding (sorry - wedding) he's decided to "assist" (read for that bully) me into changing my wardrobe into something a little more suitable.

OK - in theory, maybe that's not such a bad thing, but he seems intent on winding me up, as he knows damned well that there are certain styles / colours I will not even consider, so he makes a beeline for them!

Equally, I was a bit miffed when he vetoed a shirt that I'd been eyeing up for absolutely ages - because he said that the colour wasn't right for me!

I will admit to grumping, but when I held it up to myself, I saw what he meant - the only thing that it would go with in my wardrobe was my black work trousers! So I grudgingly admitted that he was correct, and continued shopping.

He also said that there were a couple of things I need to get for a weekend away at the end of November.

What I got shall remain hidden until the weekend in question, simply because the person whom I am going with reads my blog, and I want it to be a surprise... The only thing that I will reveal is that the colour is listed as Gold...


Guess I should call this quits - I've still got stuff do today - including mowing the lawn...

Back tomorrow I guess.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Repeating a scare?

Ever had a feeling of déjà vu? Well, my best friend had that horrible feeling today.

How do I know? Simple. He sent me the following e-mail:

Sorry Kaz

Something’s come up I gotta go
My Mum’s been taken back into hospital this morning I’ll contact you later when I can ok and I’ll let you know what’s going on


Not the sort of e-mail I wanted to receive, and I will admit to wondering how he was… or at least I did until I spoke to him whilst I was on my lunch break.

I sent him a message saying that I was on lunch and that if he wanted to talk, then I was around.

No sooner had I sent the message, I got reply saying that he wanted to talk… He’d been unable to see his Mum in the hospital but had spoken to his Dad who said that this problem seemed to have started last Thursday night.

My friend was (and still is) less than impressed but agreed with me when I said that his Mum was in the best place if (God forbid) anything did happen.

As I type this, I will admit that my thoughts and prayers are with him and his family, as I know only too well the pain that losing a parent can cause.

Ah well, guess I should call this quits – I’ve got work to do – not that I’ve got any interest at the moment…

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Laying a ghost to rest

Well, I’ve seen my ex-fiancé and I refrained from laying him out in the middle of Oxford. I will admit that I was somewhat apprehensive about meeting him, but I will admit to being glad that Julian was with me, as it made things a little easier for me.

My ex wasn’t too keen on the fact that Julian was there, and even asked if we could talk somewhere on our own. Not a chance of that, as I was unwilling to give him the option of sweet-talking me into getting back with him – which he had managed to do in the past.

I should have known better
But I trusted you at first
I should have know better
But I got what I deserved

 
So, he seemed to sulk a bit, and then started saying how much he missed me, and how much he wanted us to get back together and that things would be better for the pair of us.

A little late for all the things you didn't say
I'm not sad for you
But I'm sad for all the time I had to waste
'Cause I learned the truth


Don’t ask me how I managed to stop myself exploding – but I think that Julian’s hand squeezing my elbow had something to do with it… I politely pointed out that he was the one who had forced my hand by insisting within a matter of days of Dad’s death, that I leave my job and move down south.

No warning of such a sad song
Of broken hearts
My dreams of fairy tales and fantasy, oh
Were torn apart


That seemed to go down like a lead balloon, and I made sure that he realised there was no hope of us getting back together, as I reminded him that my life had changed for the better since I’d split up with him – and I was (and am) so much happier without him interfering with my life.

I lost my peace of mind
Somewhere along the way
I knew there's come a time
You'd hear me say I'm sick and tired
Of always being sick and tired


When I left, he looked like a puppy that had been kicked, but I knew damned well that if I’d shown the slightest bit of sympathy, then I was done for as he would just sucker me back into seeing him again – and this time – I want nothing more to do with him.

But, for now, I'm an awful lot happier than I was before I saw him, and I'm beginning to wonder why I let the b'stard wind me up so much.

More to the point, I've come to the conclusion that I am 100% better off without him in my life, and if he tries to contact me again... Well I might just have to resort to my original choice - laying him out cold!

Your heart is in a place I no longer wanna be
I knew there'd come a day I'd set you free


Guess I should call this quits – I’ve got stuff to sort out around the house…

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Tired of being kicked

Why is it, that whenever I try to help someone out, I end up being kicked in the guts?

Simply because a colleague was away, I was doing the lion’s share of her work, and hadn’t been given the relevant information about some spreadsheet or other that was supposed to be filled in on a daily basis. Not that the spreadsheet in question was anything to do with me – someone else was ‘supposed’ to be responsible for that.

'Cause I'm too proud, I'm too strong
Live by the quote that you gotta move on
Feeling sorry for yourself
Ain’t got nobody nowhere

 
However, the person in question failed to tell me what he needed, so muggings here is the one who gets the kicking. Because if I tell the truth (as in the other person is a bone-idle b’stard who lumbered me with nearly all the damned work) it will look like I’m trying to lump all the blame onto this other person.

Took so long to get me here
But I won't live in fear
You try to steal my shine
But first they wanna build you up
Then they tear you down
It's a struggle, you try to bubble


So, all I can do is swallow my pride and take the grumping that is coming my way, and all because someone failed to give me all the information that I required… But, from the sounds of things, at least I didn’t screw the spreadsheet up – that was someone else’s screw up – and not that I’m gloating. Much.

Ah well, suppose I should think about doing some work, but I’m suffering from TNFI…

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Being scared, and put off dinner!

I guess the title says it all. I went to see Snakes on a Plane last night with Julian – and yes – it was just as I expected – a ‘leave your brain at the cinema door’ type of film.

However, despite that, it was a really good film and a couple of times I did jump – and I was more than impressed with the special effects – to the extent that I've decided to get this film on DVD.

I thought Julian was scared by the film in a couple of places (well if the bruises on my left arm are anything to go by) even thought he denied it afterwards…

We had planned to go to Frankie & Bennies afterwards, but neither of us could face eating – it probably had something to do with a couple of scenes in the film…

Ah well, guess I should get on with some work, but I’m really suffering from a case of TNFI…

Back when I get the chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings

Taking on more than my fair share...?

Well, at this moment in time, I feel like I've been steam-rolled into looking after yet another national account - and all because the person responsible hasn't turned up for the past week or so.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind if I've been asked by the person but this seems to have been dropped onto my lap, as no-one else appears to be interested in doing anything at all.

Normally, that's not a problem for me, but at this moment in time, I've got more than enough to keep me out of mischief - on both a professional and personal front!

So, something somewhere is going to have to give way a little - and I'm going to make sure that other people start taking on some of my workload, as there is only so much I can do before my own work starts to suffer - and given that I've put in too many damned hours to get most of my roles sorted - it ain't going to be MY work!

Time to call this quits - I'm going to head for lunch - and make sure that no-one can get hold of me!

Back later if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

A stressless existance? Not around here!

Not a good day today. I came close to losing it in the office because I was feeling like crap (I find that very little sleep tends to do that to me now) and I was wound up - well past my normal tolerance levels.

It didn't help me when my friend called me and was really sweet - all that did was push me even closer to the edge, and I will admit to being a little bit short / sharp on the 'phone when I spoke to him.

There's so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones


Add into that, I got piled up with paperwork and you begin to get the general idea. OK - I don't think that the issues in my private life are really helping, but it's very rare that I get so stressed out that it starts to affect me at work.

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone

I know one thing - the sooner that I get this over and done with, the happier I'm going to be as it will mean that I can get on with my life, without having to look over my shoulder the whole damned time, wondering what the hell is going to come and splatter my confidence all over the walls yet again.

Ah well, time to call this quits - I've go to get shifting as I've got stuff to do before I call it quits here tonight...

Back tomorrow.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Starting the week off with a smile...

I make no apologies for this joke - it made me smile.

Enjoy.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings


*************************************************

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out.

She went to the Western Wall and there he was walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane in a
very slow fashion, she approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a bloody wall."

Hoping to lay a ghost to rest...

Well, the furry fiends have been fed, and are now sleeping off their munchies on my bed - which doesn't bother me that much as it means that I get peace and quiet for a while...

That means that I've been able to concentrate on the one problem that's been bugging me all weekend - my ex-fiancé.

He called me after I'd fed the cats, and much to his surprise, I answered the call. He somehow managed to refrain from making any sarcastic comments, as the last time he did, I put the 'phone down on him.

You say I’m heartless
And you say I don't care
I used to be there for you
And you've said I seem so dead, that I have changed
But so have you


I've agreed to meet him on neutral territory - Oxford - on Saturday in order to sort things out between us once and for all. Why he's so insistent on meeting up with me is a mystery to me, but I'm not dumb enough to fall for his charms - the old saying once bitten, twice shy is only too relevant where he's concerned.

You've been so thoughtless
I can see right through you

You used to be there for me
So don't you leave say goodbye
Cause you have changed but so have I


Equally, I've not been daft (or dumb) enough to go and meet him on my own. Julian has said that he'll come with me - I get the impression that he's terrified that I might do something I regret - like laying him out cold in the middle of Oxford.

Tempting as that might well be, he's really not worth the trouble, and all I want to do is shatter any and all illusions about the chances of us two getting back together. As I've said in a previous post - that will happen when Satan starts ordering winter woollies and antifreeze.

I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore


Until then, all I can do is make it plain that any discussions can wait until Saturday - I don't want to give him the impression that I'm considering anything where he's concerned - apart from the possibility of the best location to bury the hatchet. My personal preference would be right between his shoulder blades! *Grin*

Time to call this quits - I want some peace and quiet tonight, as it's back to the grindstone for me tomorrow...

Back tomorrow if I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Back from Stratford, and still fighting a ghost

Well, I'm back from Stratford. It was lovely to see my friend and his family - and it made a change for it to be on my "home" turf for once!

I was able to show them around Stratford and show them around the various places without getting ripped off by the various places and also went around the Teddy Bear museum. (See http://www.theteddybearmuseum.com/index.htm)

Yes - I dragged a big burly biker around the Teddy Bear museum. Whilst he was looking at something, I took the chance to go and buy him a teddy - it was really sweet and had a little long sleeve t-shirt on, with Friends Forever on it.

We then went for lunch in the Weatherspoons pub, and whilst we were sitting down, I gave him the bear - much to his embarrassment - and I was told that I shouldn't have bought it. Yes I should - I fell for it, and thought that it would be a nice way to remember the trip to Stratford.

Who knew the other side of you?
Who knew the hardest time to prove?
Too true to say good bye to you
Too true to say say say...

However - there was one dark cloud for me. My 'phone kept ringing and chiming with various messages - and I will admit to being more than a little dismayed when I saw who they were from.

Rather than let them spoil a nice day for us all, I ended up turning my 'phone off until I was on my own, and then made sure that once I had sorted things out with my friend, I ignored any other calls / messages that came in.

OK - I know that my friend will be upset when he realises why I was so quiet towards the end of the day, but the messages and calls were really starting to affect me, and I'm beginning to think about changing my mobile number again - if only to stop the calls and texts.

But, the trouble is, I know that if I do that, then there will be calls and messages left on my home answerphone, which will upset Mum - and that's the last thing that I want to happen.

So, I guess that I'm going to have to confront this problem and sort things out once and for all - and make it plain that I want nothing to do with him what-so-ever, and hopefully, he'll take the hint without me having to resort to physical means.

Time to call this quits - I've got to feed the furry fiends, and the pair of them are sitting in the study glaring at me, as I'm ignoring them in favour of updating my blog!

Back when I get the chance.

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

I want that Pug!!

The Peugeot 207. what can I say apart from - I want that car so badly it hurts!!!

It's truly an awesome car, and I freely admit being VERY reluctant to hand it back to the dealer. So, all I have to do now is wait and see what the new models bring, as the one that I drove was a manual (and I don't mind admitting that my left leg aches after using the clutch - something that my tiptronic auto doesn't have.)

The run to Bridgemere Garden World was a doddle - the car had more than enough power to get me out of trouble (as well as into trouble - I was accused of playing chicken with a 44 ton lorry - as if I would be daft enough to do that! *Grin*)

Once we were at Bridgemere, I found that the car was easy to park and had a good sized boot - big enough to get 120l of compost, assorted plants and other bits into it without much of a struggle.

The car also proved very flexible when it came to driving in town, as I was dropping Julian and his partner back home, and once again, I found it a comfortable car to drive.

OK - I admit that the model I was driving was a tad on the basic side, and I would have added a few extra bits and pieces to it, but on the whole, I think that Peugeot has come up with a little gem as far as I'm concerned.

I guess that the only thing that I can grumble about is that the car is actually bigger than the 206 - it's almost the same size as the old Peugeot 306, but despite that, it still felt nimble and responsive.

Time to call this quits - I need to get some sleep, as I'm meeting up with my daft hog riding friend and his family tomorrow...

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Being haunted by a ghost from the past

What is it about me and control freaks? I seem to attract them and then seem to have even more trouble shaking them off. OK – let me rephrase that. The control freak in question is my ex-fiancé to be precise.

The last time I saw him, I threatened to do him some serious physical harm if he tried to contact me, and for the past 12 months or so, that threat seemed to keep him well away from me.

But, either I’m losing my touch, or he’s grown braver and has started trying to contact me again – which has really upset me.

He called me earlier today, asking me how I was, how Mum was and making it sound like the events that lead up to the threat never happened. Ok – maybe he thinks that I’ll have forgotten or more to the point forgiven him, but that will happen when Satan starts ordering winter woollies and antifreeze.

So, me being me, tried to make it plain (without resorting to offensive language or putting the ‘phone down on him) that the contact was unwelcome, and that I had nothing to say to him.

I would have thought that my lack of enthusiasm for the conversation would have given him the idea that I really didn’t want anything to do with him, but he seems to have all the empathy of a brick – without the use.

I'm outta love

Set me free
And let me out this misery
Just show me the way to get my life again
'Cause you can't handle me
(I said) I'm outta love
Can't you see
Baby that you gotta set me free
I'm outta love

 So, in the end, I resorted to the old stand-by that my 'phone battery was dying, and that I would have to call it quits. He seemed a little miffed, and I thought that it would be the last I heard from him.

Boy, did I get that one wrong. He kept trying to call me all day today, which resulted in me turning my 'phone off, as all it was doing was winding me up, not to mention upsetting me on a day when I could have really done without it.

Time to call this quits - I've got to take the 207 back to Arbury Peugeot...

Back with a full review of the Peugeot...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Rough Language

Please excuse the rough language in the following story...

I don't write them, I just post them.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

*************************************************

A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

"Well," said her mother,"so how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home..., PLEASE MAMA!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"

"Darling, baby, you must! tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama... He used words like: dust, wash, iron, cook..."

"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.

How smart are you....?

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you.

Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

If you do not know, scroll down to see answer below.


















Get your drunken ass off the merry-go-round!

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Looking forward to a weekend...

And what a weekend it promises to be! I've booked myself a 24hr test drive in the new Peugeot 207, which starts at 18:00 tonight and runs until 18:00 tomorrow night, and then Sunday, I'm meeting up with my daft hog riding friend and his family in Stratford.

Tomorrow is the busier of the two days in terms of the distances I'll be traveling, as I'm going up to a garden centre in Cheshire - Bridgemere Garden World (see http://www.bridgemere.co.uk/index.htm) with Julian and his partner, as they want to get some plants for their garden.

Ok - I know that it sounds crazy, but the theory behind it states that you should buy plants from a garden centre / nursery further north as the plants will be used to harsher conditions, and so will thrive in a southern garden.

So, that means a blast up the M6 (a motorway I hate - most of the drivers on that road are idiots - and I think I might be being a tad unkind to the idiots) on the way there, then a trip down the scenic route through Rugeley and Litchfield, so that I get an idea of how I get on with the car and more to the point, if I'm interested enough to give it serious consideration when I come to swap my 206.

Sunday however, promises to be quite a different kettle of fish... I got a text message from my daft friend at some unearthly time this morning (I think it was about 00:35) asking what I was doing this weekend.

So, as I was already awake (Ponto had decided to stick his sharp little claws into me as he stretched in his sleep - furry little fiend!) I sent a reply saying that I was busy tomorrow (Saturday) but I was free on Sunday...

He then sent me a reply saying that he was thinking about heading up to Stratford, and said that it would be nice to meet up, as I was "local" and know which tourist traps to avoid as a matter of course, plus I can give the "insiders" knowledge - daft little rules like there are no thatched houses within the town perimeter due to a devastating fire in the late 1600s.

Ok - I know that sounds daft, but at the time, it made sense as the river Avon runs through the town at the bottom end. Aside from that, I know quite a bit of useless local information...

Guess I should call this quits - I'm supposed to be working - not blogging!

Back when I get the chance...

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings