Walking in the Shadows

Random musings from Warwickshire on life in general... Things that make me laugh, make me cry, things that wind me up beyond all endurance - and everything in between.

Escaping on the 'Hog...

And no - it's not me. It's my best mate. The lucky sod has gone to Ireland for the European Hog ralley, and has been sending me little messages to let me know how he's getting on...

The first one arrived on my 'phone at 11:25...

Just stopped for lunch and a pee break - it's f*****g freezing! Speak soon.

Diddums. What I didn't realise was that he'd left home at 04:30, and that was the reason for the early lunch break!

The second message made me smile:-

Hey you, on board ship out on top deck in the sun but leavin' late. Take care.

Rather him than me - I hate boats - the smallest swell has me hanging over the edge of the boat throwing up, and being generally very unwell. But, I will admit that I wish that I was able to go with him as it sounded like it was going to be a real scream...

He sent me a third message just before 21:00 to let me know that the group had arrived in Wexford ok, and that things seemed to be ok, and then I got a final message after midnight, asking me if I could call him...

Not a problem, and we had a quick chat, as he was shattered and I had to be at work this morning.

But, at least I know he's ok, and he's promised to show me the pictures when he gets back, as he said that the bikes were incredible...

Guess I should get on with some w*rk, but I'm still half asleep, and suffering from a severe case of TNFI...

Back later - if I'm still awake!

Karen.
Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

When a world turns upside down...

And it's not mine this time. It's Julian's. His parter has been diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma, and he called me whilst I was on my lunchbreak, having just recieved the news.

The poor guy is devastated, and to be honest, it's knocked me for six as well, as his partner has always been really fit and healthy - or so I thought. Just goes to prove that appearances can be decieving.

But, at the end of the day, all I can do is be at the end of a 'phone and escape to see them at the weekend to make sure that they're ok, and try and make the pair of them laugh...

Time to call this quits - I need to get this call on my mobile.

Back when I get the chance....

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Someone knows how to make me smile...

This got sent to me and I will admit it did make me smile, as some of the sentiments are reather apt....

Enjoy.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

------------------

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Try entering the command:C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

------------------

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware. I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0.

While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with Free Sex Plus and Clean house 2005. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run.

Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch Turbo Strop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called Mother-In-Law, which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Signed,

Unlucky

------------------
Dear Unlucky:

C'est la vie!

Tech Support

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Soreness and stiches

Mum came home on Friday afternoon, and was quite well considering the operation was only in the morning...

Admittedly, she didn't feel like eating very much, but I was just glad to have her back home, and I know that the furry fiends were glad to have her back as well...

She seems ok in herself, and has said that the sawbones came to see her before she was discharged, and told her that the operation had gone quite well, and that the wound was very deep.

Not surprising really, when you consider that the screw had made it's break for freedom through the bone in her right leg, and then migrated outwards and upwards through the muscle layers, and the only thing keeping it in place was her skin!

Ok - I know that sounds revolting, but it's the best way to describe what happened...

Time to call this quits - I need to get some sleep tonight, as I'm back into the office tomorrow - worst luck.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Fingers crossed...

Well, I'm sitting at my computer again, this time waiting to for the hospital to call me and say that Mum's ready to come home.

We got to the hospital at 07:00 this morning, and I'll say one thing - I can see why people pick up infections - the ward wasn't terribly clean, and I was more than a little reluctant to leave Mum there!

Don't get me wrong - I've got nothing but praise for the nurses and the sawbones - who actually listened to what that patient said.

He gave Mum two options - one involved having bone chipped away from the head of the broken screw so that the whole thing could be removed, or the option that Mum has chosen - which was to have the broken piece removed and leave the other bit in place, as it wasn't causing her any problems.

So, I left the hospital at about 08:45, and headed for home, and started playing on the computer - ok - I started to write an Access database to help me at work, but that quickly lost its appeal and I've been alternating between playing Divine Divinity (I've still not finished the game yet - I keep getting wiped out by the end bad guy!) as well as attempting to update the blog.

I've got a feeling that this might have to go on hold for a while, as Mum's not going to be too steady on her feet - ok - I'll rephrase that. She's going to need me around to make sure that she's ok, and that the dressings are ok...

Time to call this quits - I need to go and get the 'phone in case the hospital call me...

Back when I get the chance.

Karen

Learning to fly, but I don't have wings

Wondering what I’ve done wrong…

Ever had one of those moments when you wished you’d never done something? Well I had one of those when I was heading for home this evening.

It started out perfectly innocuously, when I called my best mate, and asked what sort of day he’d had… It was like opening the floodgates and as the call went on, I was getting more and more upset as I felt so damned helpless.

Add into that, the mere fact my friend wasn’t very impressed with me, because I’d left a message with a colleague to say that Mum was going into hospital tomorrow for the operation to remove the broken part of the screw in her right leg.

In the end, I suggested that I called him back later, as he was so wound up and it wasn’t doing me any good hearing him like that.

I got home and was somewhat subdued, but the furry fiends went out of their way to be nice to me, so I felt a bit better than I did, and retreated upstairs to play on the computer (which is where I’ve been since 19:30 this evening!)

My friend must have realised that I was upset, and sent me the following message:

I’m sorry – I’m just so wound up – don’t take it too hard, I’ll get it sorted out one way or another. Take care Kaz x

 
That really touched me, and I will admit wishing that I’d been a little more forgiving that I had been, but given the fact that I’m worried about Mum’s operation it’s not really an easy time for me either…

It's not easy, nothing to say 'cause it's already said.
It's never easy.
When I look on your eyes then I find that I'll do fine.
When I look on your eyes then I'll do better.


Time to call this quits – I need to be up early to take Mum to the hospital tomorrow morning…

Back tomorrow…

Karen
Learning to fly, but I don’t have wings