Getting in the holiday mood

It's my last day in the office, and I am so glad. I've had enough crap thrown at me this week to last me a blasted month, and all because of one account.

On the positive side, I've been able to spend quite a bit of time with my partner, who has been a real angel. As my shoulder has been giving me an awful lot of trouble, he went to Holland & Barratt (a local health-food / alternative remedy shop), and bought a bottle of Comfrey oil, which he has been kind enough to massage into the shoulder.

But, I will admit to the fact that I'll miss him whilst I'm away, as we spend most evenings talking on the 'phone if we're not together.

Despite this, I'm really looking forward to my holiday, as I've never been to Gibraltar before.. And I've had my share of the rude comments leveled at me by colleagues in the OTR department - most of them being along these lines..

"You going to see your relatives then?"


"I've got relatives buried on Gibraltar, but none living that I know of...."

"I was talking about the monkeys"

Thanks. Nice to know that I'm being likened to a monkey now! And yes - I am aware of the correct name - the "monkeys" are actually Barbary Apes.

Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I am really suffering from a bad case of TNFI......

Back later, if I get the chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Starting to growl...

There are some customers who really make you swear. They complain because you've not done something, and then when you do get the problem sorted, they complain because they weren't ready for the problem to be solved.

To be honest, the faster today is over and done with, the happier I'm going to be, as I'm fed up with being the one that gets the kick in the tail end, because something has gone wrong. Ok - I admit that I'm not perfect - far from it. But it galls me that I'm the one that gets hit from all sides when something doesn't go to plan.

As it stands, it's this one account that gives me all the grief, and to be honest, I'm getting to the stage where I don't want to have anything to do with them at all. But, that's giving in, and that's not what I'm known for - quitting is not my style at all.

But, knowing me, I'll feel better when I've got back off my holiday, and I know that my shoulder is being sorted out.

Ah well, suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but to be honest, I'm suffering from a severe case of TNFI...

Back later, if I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

What a weekend...

After the crap Friday I had, the weekend was just what the tiger needed to feel back on top form.

It started off with me going into Stratford with Carole, Amber and Rachel. Amber was being a little monster, and seemed to be determined to see how many tourists she could trip up / kick. The only thing that kept her under reasonable control, was the threat of not getting any toffee bon-bons!

Then, Saturday night, I was out with Julian and co... And Julian and one person who shall remain nameless (or at least until I get the blackmail photos) sang a bloody good version of Ricky Martin's Livin' la vida loca - complete with the dance steps!

Once we'd left the club, we all headed back to Julian's place, and I admit that I didn't go to bed... I stayed up playing GT4 on the playstation, and I don't mind admitting that I was running on pure adrenalin to keep me going...

Hmm - suppose I'd better think about doing some w*rk, but I'm suffering from TNFI already! Must be getting into holiday mode early.......!

Back when I get chance...

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Cor blimey!

Mine is but to post such gems - and this came from my daft hog riding friend!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps to squirt blood 30 feet out of the body. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.********** Man 'O' Man!!!
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.(I still want to be a pig in my next life... quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.(Hmmmmmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference? )

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.(OK, so that would be a good thing....)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

Starfish have no brains.(I know some people like that.)

Polar bears are left-handed.(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.(What about that pig??)

Suppose I should think about doing some w*rk...

Back later, if I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Getting caught on the hop...

There's nothing like a bit of banter to make me feel brighter... I was away from my desk, and I heard my 'phone bleep, and me being half asleep didn't check the number...

"You didn't recognize my number that time, did you Karen?" came the mocking tone on my 'phone. It was my other half.

"If I'd known it was you, I wouldn't have answered my 'phone."

That made him laugh, and he started having a gentle dig at me because I apparently sounded half asleep! I refrained from saying that I'd been up at 04:30 this morning to go horse-riding!

But, that was my decision, and I don't regret it for a moment, as it was a lovely ride this morning... The birds were starting to sing, and Flame was being an absolute angel - almost as if she realized that I was feeling fragile because my shoulder was (and still is) giving me hell.

Ok - I know that going horse-riding probably wasn't the best thing that I could have done, but I'm not going to give up my horse just yet... Ok - if I have to have the shoulder operated on (and I get a horrible feeling I will do) I'll stop riding, but until it gets to that stage then I'll be in the saddle as much as I possibly can.

Ah well, suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I'm not really in the mood....

Back later if I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Still fighting..

Well, Coventry airport's owners are appealing even before the final decision has been made about their cattle shed of a terminal.

I can understand why the locals are getting so upset - Coventry airport used to be just a small airfield, with a few light aircraft and the DC10 from Air Atlantique taking off from there. Now, they're subjected to the noise and smell of a B737 taking off.

The best is yet to come, as the planes from Coventry have a maximum height on takeoff of 1500ft, due to the fact that they are in the same controlled airspace as Birmingham airport!

But, if the reports are true, then the shareholders of the company that owns the airport may force them to sell - much to the delight of the locals, with whom I have great sympathy...

Suppose I should think about doing some more w*rk, but the interest level is practically zero at the moment!

Back later, if I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Back to the fuel protests..

Well, it's started. What am I talking about? Only the panic buying that's going on for fuel. I'm lucky, as I've got 3/4 of a tank of fuel on board the Pug, and Mum's got about the same on her car as well.

The last time the fuel protests happened, my family was lucky, as Dad was on the essential users list, and because of the petrol mowers, we had about 30l of fuel in the garage in steel containers!

Ok - I agree with the fuel protests, as I'm fed up paying extortionate rates for the luxury of having a car, as I'm in a situation where public transport is a total non-starter, as the location of my office, and the mere fact that I have to go out on business means that I need the car.

In an ideal world, I'd have the Pug converted to an alternative fuel, but at the moment, the minute I do anything like that, Peugeot will say that I have invalidated my mechanical & bodywork warranties, and I'm up the proverbial creek without a canoe, let alone a paddle!

Hmm - suppose I should think about doing some w*rk, but I'm suffering from a case of TNFI...

Back later, if I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Trying to get training for a friend

That's one thing that really bugs me. As I'm the main contact for the OTR side of things in the office, I'm the one that the guys in the field speak to, so that they can get the orders and other stuff sorted out.

Ok - that's not an issue - what really bugs me is the fact that the poor sod who's supposed to be my back-up has had absolutely minimal training, and when I'm out of the office (either on holiday or off sick), the back up is next to non-existent.

So, the pair of us have started to gang up on our line manager, and make him aware of the situation. That's not a problem, as he's quite happy to help out, and has agreed that something needs to be done.

The problem (as far as I'm concerned) is the fact that one of the other members of the department can't see why the guys in the field talk to me instead of the other contact.

Without blowing my own trumpet, I get the impression that the reason that they talk to me, is because they know that things will get sorted out, and that I'll keep them in the loop on what's happening with the order / query that they've thrown my way.

But, as things seem to be happening, I've said that I'll hold fire on doing anything like speaking to my partner, as he knows damned well that I was getting worried about what was going to happen whilst I was away...

Suppose I should log off and bog off - I'm supposed to be working...

Back later if I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Now this would be interesting......

READ TEXT FIRST THEN LOOK AT IMAGE.

Tired of getting stuck in slow moving traffic?

Want to have your own lane on the M1/M25/M5/M62?

Simple, tie these balloons to your car.

Belt it down the A1 (or any other road you wish to drive fast) and watch other car drivers freak out and simply get out of your way!

When you get stopped by the police, tell them you thought they were real.





Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread

All quiet on the OTR front

Well, things seem to have settled down on the OTR side of things... I've been kept busy sorting out various orders for the guys, and one has even said that as far as he was concerned, today I was walking on water.

Thanks. That's all I need, as you can almost guarantee that it will put the mockers on anything that I try to do for the rest of the day!

Despite that, my friend White Wolf has been e-mailing me, and making me laugh with all sorts of silly jokes - this one being one of my favorites:

This is a quick story about the bond formed between a little girl and a group of building workers.

It's allegedly true and makes you want to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race.


A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant building. One day Joe, Steve and a gang of building workers turned up to start building a house on the empty plot.


The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.


She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot.


They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.


They even gave her very own hard hat and gloves. At the end of the first week they presented her with a pay envelope containing two pounds in 10p coins.


The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.


When they got to the bank the cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'.


"You must have worked very hard to earn all this" said the bank cashier.


The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with the men building a big house."


"My goodness gracious," said the cashier, "Will you be working on the house again this week, as well?"


The little girl thought for a moment and said........................









"I think so. Provided those c*nts at Jewson deliver the f**king bricks."


Rats - my direct line's ringing - that was one of the worst mistakes I could have made - giving the OTR guys my direct dial!

Back later if I get chance.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Anyone for flame grilled tiger?

Another day, another foul up with an OTR tyre. This time, it was a crane tyre, and it wasn't something that I knew anything about until one of my colleagues in the OTR department asked who'd told a customer that the tyres were available...

I was able to sort it out, but my colleague was a real angel, and called the customer for me, and explained the situation. The customer (quite understandably) wasn't very happy, but at least it wasn't me getting the ear-ache from the customer for once!

So, to hopefully (emphasis on the hopefully) prevent anymore foul ups on the ordering side of things, I sent the following e-mail...

Hi guys,

If you get a call for a mobile crane tyre of any description, then please speak to either myself or xxx, or if either of us are not available, could you please transfer the call to either xxxx xxxxxx (speed dial xxx) or xxxx xxxxxx (speed dial xxx).

If in doubt, PLEASE speak to either myself or xxx.

So, all I have to do now, is prevent any more hiccups with the OTR side of things!

Suppose I should log off and bog off - my mobile's ringing!

Back tomorrow.

Karen.

I walk where others fear to tread

Trying to avoid a toasting...

Ever had one of those days when you wish you'd turned over in bed and gone back to sleep? Well, I'm having one today.

It got off to a bad start when I managed to leave my security pass in the tack room this morning, and forgot to grab the damned thing. Then when I'd gotten into the office, it really hit the blades. And muggins here was directly in the firing line.

A customer had tried to order a particular tyre, and unknown to myself or my colleague in the department, these tyres had already been sold to another customer. So, as the system was showing that these tyres were in stock, the order was on the system, just awaiting confirmation from the customer of the required purchase number..

Only for me to then find that some of the tyres have been taken by someone in logistics for this other customer! I then had the delightful (?) job of telling the customer that I'd been dealing with that the full quantity that he'd requested wasn't available.

Brown smelly stuff and rotating blades anybody? The fun and games then started when my partner came down to see me, and asked what the hell had gone on with this order.

Needless to say, I was less than impressed, and politely pointed out that the order was nothing to do with me, and the first I'd known about it, was when my colleague had asked if I'd place the same size tyre on order!

The reaction was less than friendly, until I pointed out that I'd spoken to very few people in the OTR department, and had spent even less time on the 'phone than normal, as I was trying to sort out my least favorite account, which had a large order that needed placing onto the system, and then sorting out the stock to make sure that there was enough stock to complete the order.

I wasn't very friendly, and made it plain that I just wanted to be left alone tonight, as I was seriously irritated by the fact that he immediately blamed me for the foul up with the damned tyres. But, at least I got an apology from him, so that made me feel slightly better...

So, as I type this, I'm sitting in the study listening to Planet Rock on my DAB digital radio, and am only now starting to cool off.

Suppose I should log off and bog off - I want to grab a bite to eat before I crawl into my pit tonight.

Back tomorrow if I get the chance.

Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread

Things that make me smile..

My daft hog riding friend has been sending me all sorts of silly things, and I've not had chance to post them, so before I get even more earache than I have already, here's a selection of the things that I've been sent:



The other thing that made me smile was this joke:

One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."

As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?""Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve of her wetsuit, and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes.

He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the man, "that is so good, I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!""And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Irish whiskey?" asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket,removes a flask and hands it to him.

He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the Gods!" stated the Irishman. 'Tis truly fantastic!!!"At this point, the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there, too!"

Hmmm... Suppose I'd better get on with some w*rk, but I'm suffering a case of TNFI again..

Back later, if I get chance.

Karen.
I walk where others fear to tread